Jesus Unfiltered - Testify - Do You Love Me More than These?, Part 2

I believe every single person has secret closets in your life and in your heart. They're things that are in our past that we haven't shared with anyone.

They create levels of shame and regret and we bury these things and they function like a cancer in our heart. And there's no peace unless they're addressed, forgiven, and you get restored. We're going to learn today how Jesus can do that for you.

Stay with me. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Chip's our Bible teacher on this daily discipleship outreach, and I'm Dave Drouie. Well, if what Chip just shared caused you to sit up a little and wonder how the secret that's held you hostage all these years might finally be overcome, you've come to the right place.

Jesus does have the power to free us and restore peace in ways we never thought possible. But you got to know how it works. If you'll stay with us for the next 20 minutes or so, breakthrough is your next step. So I'm really glad you're with us. And just so you know, Chip will be with us in studio after the teaching to talk about some practical ways to keep that momentum going.

So be sure to stay with us for that. OK, let's get going and join him now for part two of his message from John chapter 21. How does God restore us from that thing that I ask you to honestly think about in your life? You know, that one night stand that no one knows about, that meth habit, that cocaine in the past, you know, that lying on the resume that you hope no one goes and checks.

I mean, we've all got something back there, right? So let's find out what the grace of God looks like in people that are fallen and struggling just like us. Number one, here's what we learn. Jesus meets us where we are and he meets with both grace and truth. He's going to meet you where you are.

You don't have to wait until you get something straightened up or you get a little bit better, you get more clean. He's going to meet you where you are. He meets Peter where he is with grace and truth. Grace, here's a lot of fish here.

The same miracle that when he was far from God. Truth, there's a coal burning fire and he's going to be reminded gently. And then notice the truth doesn't happen in isolation. As much as good counseling is helpful, I've had it. As much as talking one-on-one with a friend is helpful, I've had that. But this shame is brought out in front of the people that he dissed because the restoration of real shame has to happen wisely and carefully but in the context of community. If you don't take at some point in time that shame has got to get up and you got to get it out among someone trusted that won't say anything to anyone that will allow you to deal with it or you'll spend your time numbing it.

Do you understand that addictions aren't like, I'm going to try harder, I won't drink so much, I'm going to try harder, I won't take those pills, I'm going to try harder not to shop so much, I'm going to try harder not to eat so much, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The core is shame. The core is you don't like you and you're numbing or compensating. And that will never get fixed until you let God say, let's look at this together and what you're going to get is you got to be honest about it but there's grace to cover it and love it and it's more than forgiveness, it's to restore you. We are convinced that if people found out about something we have done that their estimation of us would lower, I would suggest that done authentically at the right way at the right time just the opposite often happens. The second thing that happens is he gently demands that we face the truth about ourselves.

Did you notice that he asked questions and there wasn't condemnation? I mean, for a lot of us from our backgrounds, if we did something really, really, really bad, we would expect or some of you like me have this picture of God at least I used to, his arms are crossed, you've done this terrible thing, his toes tap, hey, we need to talk about this. What in the world were you thinking? I mean, you got a great wife and wonderful kids, why did you do that? I provided enough, why did you cheat, right?

You've got that in your head. Well, how did Jesus? Grace, I love you. Let's have breakfast.

Let's talk about this. And then instead of, you know, pointing the finger, he asked him diagnostic questions because what's the goal? What's the whole point of this? It's not like God is going, oh, if I could just figure out what's going on in your heart or mine. Gabriel, do you have any idea?

No, Lord, have no idea, right? The person that needs to discover what's in your heart is you. And so he asked these questions to bring it to the surface and he brings it gracefully, but he also brings it with truth. You have to own it. You have to see it for what it was.

This is what I actually did. This is the feelings that it brings. This is why I don't want anyone to know. And secrets destroy your soul.

Truth, he goes to the core, do you love me, and then he helps him to see who he really is like all the rest of us. Broken, struggling people making progress and he doesn't ask him to make some promise. I hear people make promises to God and promises to other people that they can't keep so they set themselves. I'll never cheat again. I'll never lie again. I'll never lust again. I'll never log on to porn again. I'll never spend money we didn't agree on again. I'll never, never. Duh. How many times have you said that?

That's not true. Stop making promises we can't keep. How about by the grace of God, this is why I'm doing what I'm doing and I'm by his power. And in the context of community and with the right kind of help, I'm going to keep moving toward what God wants.

And he'll restore and he'll heal. Early in our marriage we went to seminary and my wife, some of you know her story. And we were in a housing complex for sort of like poor students. And she was with another seminary wife and she felt, you know, like they're really becoming good friends. And she says, well, tell me your story, Teresa. And she goes, well, you know, I didn't grow up as a Christian. I had this sort of really bad background and I got married early and then my husband kind of did these drugs and ran off with another woman. I ended up getting divorced and later I met Chip and blah, blah, blah. And she's thinking, wow, we're really connecting. And this lady looked at her and said, oh, I didn't think they let people like you in seminary.

Shame. So we start our first little church. You know, it was a mini church.

You've heard of mega churches, 35 people. And so the first three years, Teresa didn't tell anybody. The leaders knew our story. But it was like it was a secret. And we're probably five or six years in and she never felt like she felt like she had this secret.

She's divorced. And then it got harder because our youngest son was born. He got to be five or six years old.

And so funny story. We have this picture of our wedding. And in our wedding, Eric and Jason were like four and a half years old. And they were the little ring bearers. So my son, my little son is six years old.

He says, hey, mommy, how come Eric and Jason got to be in your wedding? And I didn't. Well, that gets a little awkward.

Right. You know, and so Dallas Seminary did a thing called lead leadership evaluation development. And they spotted, you know, five or six people they thought might be leaders in the future. And they took you through a week of analysis with a counselor and all aspects of your life and all these inventories. And we're walking through and your life story and take all these tests.

You write all this stuff out. And I'll never forget the moment he just turned to Teresa said, Teresa, you really don't get it, do you? She goes, what do you mean? She said, he said, you don't understand. You're hiding. You're hiding because you're ashamed. Don't you understand that God has this great mantle in heaven and you're a trophy of his grace? That there's people that have been abandoned that need to know there's hope afterwards. There's people that need to know that you can have children that actually get adopted someday, some way. There's people that need to know that after the kind of family background, that there's hope and God can work. You're a trophy of his grace.

Why are you hiding it? And we we we started to deal with our shame. And so we little by little, she began to share with the church there and she had a talk with our little six year old. And, you know, what am I going to say and how's it going to go? And so she she tells Ryan everything. She gets done. He goes, oh, thanks, mom.

Can I go out and play now? See, we think that there's some big thing how people will think. Well, we went to Santa Cruz a number of years later. And for us, it was a huge church. There were eight or 900 people at the time and really overwhelming. And so we went through a big interview process. And then my first Sunday morning, you know, I taught.

I'm going to be on my a game and and they had a Sunday night service where I mean, the place was just packed. You know, you get a new pastor and a few days before we're driving and my wife's a real introvert. And she used to be like super, super shy.

Not true anymore. And she rarely would ever get up in front of people. And I think she does a really good job now, in my biased opinion. But for her, it was like, oh, my gosh. And so we're in the car driving. She goes, Sunday night, I want to share my testimony.

So you want to do what? She goes, I'm not going to live here. And feel like someone's going to find out my past, Chip. If I'm a trophy of God's grace, if they don't accept that I'm someone that came from a messed up home, that was married and abandoned and forgiven and met you, if they don't accept that kind of person, then I don't want to be here and this isn't the right place.

But I'm going to be clean and tell them this is my life. And I remember that Sunday night and my little introvert wife brought it for 45 minutes. And I'll never forget afterwards because I, you know, I'd done the morning and people, you know, when you're the new guy, so there was like three or four guys that I was talking to here and we were done and my wife was over there. And there was a woman on this step, this step, this step, this step, this step. She was talking to this one in that worship center. It went all the way around and I couldn't help myself.

I counted 45 or 50 women waiting to talk to my wife. Her testimony was not I have it all together. Her testimony was I'm a trophy of God's grace. And by the way, this is my story.

I wasn't the victim in all of them. I made some significant mistakes along the way. And I have been forgiven and I've been restored.

And guess what? God used and is using that. God uses your past and your weakness. And when that shame came off her shoulders, I got a new wife. What does God want to bring up out of you and get out in the open? And by the way, she doesn't share and I don't share and you shouldn't share everything with everyone, but you need to be sharing some things that you're not now.

In fact, the third thing, here's why. Notice He affirmed our value and He firms our worthiness by commissioning us to service. See, you'll be an ineffective testifier of the grace of God if you don't deal with your shame. Peter dealt with the shame. We have this whole chapter about Jesus and Peter at the end of all the gospels because this is the core. The Christian faith is not pray a little prayer. Your life totally changes.

You never have any problems, so come to meetings and sing songs and listen to people talk and be a good little moral person and be a bit nicer than others. That's not it. We must deal with our shame. Why? Because the very last thing Jesus said before He was ascended was this, all power in heaven and earth has been given to me, so resources will never be a problem. Now, as you are going, make disciples of all nations or ethnos or people groups, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit and teaching them to observe, to actually live out all the things that I have taught you. And don't worry, because I'll be with you even to the end of the age.

He's going to do greater things when the person in your seat deals with your shame and you have a full testimony to share the good, the bad, and appropriately at times the ugly. And what you'll find is there's so much ugly out there that will be the key to your boss or your supervisor or your babysitter or your workout partner or your mom or your dad or someone that you thought God could never reach because they would finally realize there may be hope for me. I grew up in San Jose and came from a great town, great family. Me and my dad and all my friends really bonded over sports, so that was really what I was into. My senior year in high school I went out for the team and I ended up getting cut and that floored me. So immediately the next day I went to school looking for another crowd. Things quickly progressed because it felt like I didn't fit in and I was afraid that I wasn't going to make this team. When acting a certain way and talking a certain way wasn't working, I quickly started to obsess and started to think, what can I do to hold on to my image? And so I got this idea and said, I know what I'll do next.

I'll rob a store. And I eventually did it, not only once but twice and a third time. And so the third time I went in and I put myself in a situation that I felt like I was losing control. And there I was in that moment of thinking back and forth, I can't stay and I can't go. So I did the only thing I knew how to do because I couldn't let go. I did both.

I pulled the trigger and I ran. Two days later I confessed completely to the detectives and I remember calling home to my family, telling them how sorry I was. And I remember stopping and saying, do you still love me? And I remember something so specific that they said, they told me, not only do we love you, but we'll get through this. We will get through this.

Not you will get through this, we. And in that moment I really realized God had shown me for the first time in the best way he could and the best way I could understand at the time that love never fails even when I do. Two days later I was arraigned in Superior Court at 18 years old for attempted robbery and first degree murder. I remember the next few days just crying out to God, help me, help me, help me, help me. This wasn't supposed to happen.

This is not who I am. I thought it would all go away. I thought the walls would fall down around me and I'd walk out and this would just be erased.

But that didn't happen. So one year later after going through the process I was eventually sentenced then at 19 years old to 28 years to life in state prison. So in 2009 I eventually got my first opportunity to ask for a second chance, for that freedom. When I was sentenced in 1993 no one had ever come home under a 28 year to life sentence.

Some people would tell me there's not a chance but I never stopped believing. So I went in to the hearing in 2009 and essentially just put my heart on the table. It led to a recess where they eventually deliberated. No sooner than I got comfortable in the chair they said, okay, we're back on record and we have concluded that the inmate is suitable for parole. Just after they had told me we have found you suitable for parole I heard a voice as clear as I'm speaking now say, I've been with you this whole time. And that's when I lost it. That's when I had my white light moment but in reverse. That's when God showed me the things that I did not understand, that he had been with me this whole time, that despite the pain, despite the shame, despite the failure, he didn't let me go.

He didn't abandon me. I think the greatest lesson, the greatest insight, the greatest understanding that God gave me in my darkest hour was even though we may feel there are no answers around us and we're alone and we may be asking why and we have to keep up the dance on the outside, we're never alone. You could be surrounded by people and feel so alone being in such a dark place but if we keep that darkness within us and we do not share, we do not open up, God's grace can't come in. I'm getting the opportunity to speak to people one-on-one or getting invited to Stanford and speak to a group of kids who are there for the day at a camp. These are great opportunities and they're such a blessing. So when you just put your heart on the table it's amazing how that vulnerability can really set you free and how God can really step up and do amazing things and inspire people and that's really where my heart is, is just to continue to share God's story. Amen.

Some of his final words are when you put your heart on the table and you share that vulnerability, then God's power comes in and it's amazing what he can do. I am guessing that what you're ashamed of is coming into perspective. What's in your mind right now that you feel like you need to at least tell someone? What out of your past, what are you currently thinking, feeling, or doing? What's that something that, in fact, parts of you in this room right now are like you've wanted to run. When I started bringing these things up you just wanted to run out of here but that would have been very socially inappropriate and most of us would have thought, shame, shame, shame, see something's wrong with them, right? So you stayed. I just want you to hear Jesus saying, I'm not surprised. That can't define you but you'll keep eating or numbing or hiding or compensating or being driven or faking it until you deal with the shame. No amount of memorizing scripture, no amount of work for God will ever substitute for restoration from him.

I want to tell you why, okay? We have an assignment along with the disciples. Jesus says to them, I want you all to go and make followers or disciples of every people group on the earth, every nation, the word is every ethnos. It's not just they pray a prayer. I want them to be fully blown disciples or followers. We would call them Romans 12 Christians. And then I want you to baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost which is about identity of being fully in. And then I want you to teach them all the things that I taught you, not so they know it but so they will actually observe it. And I want it to be as you go, as you in your life, this is for everyone in the church testifying. And you'll never be alone.

I'll be with you to the end of the age. Another passage, Acts 1-8, he tells them, now don't get thinking that the weight of this is on you. When he, the Holy Spirit, comes, okay, he's going to fill you with his power and you will be my, get our word again, you're going to be my witnesses.

The goal is good ones, not perfect ones. But we deal with our past, we deal with our shame, and you will actually testify by how you live and by what comes out of your mouth boldly. Right where you're at, you're Jerusalem, you're Judea, you're Samaria, culturally breaking some barriers into the uttermost parts of the world.

I want to pause right now before we do anything else because this is a very tender time. When people deal with shame, when people have failed, when you've done things that you just think are either unforgivable or you're a loser or you don't measure up or there's whatever it is in your past, whether it was a lie, an abortion, a divorce, an embezzlement, you know, a broken marriage, an abandoning of your kids, there's all kind of things that we as human beings and even as believers have done that we just feel like we're disqualified, that God could never really love us. And, you know, sometimes we get sort of back in the game, but it's always just at a very superficial level with this thought of anyone ever knew. If anyone ever knew what's in my past, they would just so reject me. And down deep you may even feel that God is that way as well.

And that's just not true. You are a trophy of God's grace. He has redeemed you. You need to be open about what He has done. He wants people to know who feel like they're nothing, whose lives they just don't think could ever amount to anything. He wants them to know through you that He's a God of redemption, that there's no more shame. I want you to receive God's forgiveness, and then I want you to go public with one person that you can really trust about something in your past that you think down deep makes you a loser and disqualified.

And that'll be the first step to learning when and where and how to share your story. Because the fact of the matter is, He wants you to feed His sheep. He wants to use your life. Your failure does not disqualify you. But you need to get up.

You need to draw near. And you need to own what's happened in the past, receive God's forgiveness. And I will tell you this, because I've watched it happen over and over and over, He will use your greatest failure, your greatest weakness, as the conduit by which His grace and power will reach people that think no one could really understand.

But you do, because you've been there. Now get up, receive His grace, tell a friend, and let's get going. Chip will be right back. But just a quick reminder, this message today is from Testify, Volume 4 of his series, Jesus Unfiltered. In this series, Chip takes an in-depth look at Jesus, walking us through the Gospel of John, his authorized biography, if you will. Each of the Gospels has a specific purpose, and in John we see his focus on proofs that Jesus is the Son of God. Closer to home, how he wants to be your Lord and Savior, starting right where you're at today. You know, the reality is, listening more than once is the key to mastering the truths in these passages from John. Now to help you do that, the Chip Ingram app and Chip's free message notes are a great way to dig in and let God's Word change you from the inside out. Jesus Unfiltered, for more information and discounted resources, give us a call at 888-333-6003, or visit us online at livingontheedge.org.

App listeners, just tap Special Offers. Well Chip, what we're learning here is that a lot of our ideas about Jesus may be different from what the Bible actually teaches. Now to address that, you've created a great resource that identifies some of those misperceptions and then provides the truth with verses from Scripture.

Would you tell us more and why you've paired it with the series? What's being challenged here is what we believe. I mean, Jesus has come to explain the Father, and yet the culture, the world, my flesh, the enemy, is constantly bombarding my mind and my heart with lies. And so I went back through, and I take the key truth out of each chapter. And so we call these truth cards.

Let me give you an example. Here's a lie. In private moments, I sometimes have thoughts that make me question my faith. Do these doubts or thoughts mean that I don't really believe in Jesus? And then at the bottom of that card, it says stop.

In fact, there's a stop sign there. And then we flip the card over, and it says, Everyone has doubts from time to time. We are bombarded by lies from the enemy, but the historical fact of Jesus' resurrection, not my feelings on any given day, is the basis of my faith. And then right under that, I have the core passage out of John chapter 20. And so what we would love to do is put these in your hands so you can just review them. I find doing it at night before I go to bed, not trying even to memorize, just pondering and thinking and doing three or four or five cards. You do a few of those before you go to bed. It goes into your subconscious mind. It's amazing how your mind is renewed, because what do we all know? What did Jesus promise in John chapter 8? You shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free. I hope you order a set of these cards for you and maybe someone you love as well. Well, Chip's truth cards are discounted for a limited time when you go to livingontheedge.org. They're a high-value set of 21 cards with a common lie or spiritual battle we all face.

And on the flip side, there's a passage from the Gospel of John to help you begin to renew your mind with the truth. Let me encourage you to get a set for yourself and then maybe another one or two for people you know. Order your truth cards and get free shipping by calling 888-333-6003 or online at livingontheedge.org.

App listeners just tap special offers. Hey, before we go, I want to remind you that tomorrow is Giving Tuesday. Now, this is an opportunity for you to show your support for your favorite ministries and nonprofits. So if Living on the Edge has impacted you, would you remember us in your giving plans? Every dollar we receive tomorrow will be doubled, which fuels our efforts to spread the Gospel of Jesus around the world. If you'd like to be part of that mission, let me encourage you anytime tomorrow to go to livingontheedge.org or call us at 888-333-6003. App listeners tap donate, and thank you in advance for your generosity. Well, until next time, this is Dave Druey saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.