Share the Love - Discovering Your Spiritual Love Language, Part 1

Most Christians I meet struggle sharing their faith, often because they assume there's only one right way to do it. Well, guess what? There's numerous ways to effectively share your faith, and there's one that's made just right for you.

Today we're going to look at several different approaches to sharing God's love with the people that you care about, and you'll find that God has made you and He's designed you to share His love that's natural, authentic, and powerful. Don't miss it. That's today on Living on the Edge. Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Living on the Edge features the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram on this daily discipleship program.

I'm Dave Drew. Chip's continuing his series Share the Love by dispelling the myth that there's only one way to talk to people about the love of Jesus. In fact, he's going to say each of us has a spiritual love language that allows us to naturally and winsomely talk about Jesus.

Now, after the teaching, Chip's going to join us here in studio with some additional insights into how this all works. But right now let's join him for his talk Discovering Your Spiritual Love Language from 2 Corinthians Chapter 5. I want you to lean back in your seat. I want you to kind of let your mind, emotions all sort of get geared in one central spot, and I want you to think about what will come into your mind as I say God loves you. What thoughts come? What emotions?

Honestly. For some it's like peace, comfort, reassurance. For others it's a fact. I intellectually believe it, but I don't feel it very much. Or down deep I don't think he could really love me. I'm unlovable. For others it's like this sentence, this truth, but it's nebulous. It's not concrete. You can't get your arms around it.

It's okay. He loves me, but I want to experience it. And then there's some of you that every time you hear God loves you, there's a response instantaneously of warmth and strength and power, and a sense of fortitude that I can face whatever comes my way, whenever it comes my way, whomever comes my way, circumstances and relationships, because God loves me and is for me.

Who could be against me? That's what I long for in my life, but I think we're all on a journey there. Sometimes we think that it's just an intellectual issue, but often we experience his love the most when we need it the most. King David writes about his experience of God's love.

This is a man who was promised to be king and finds himself dodging spears, hiding in caves and having his life threatened. This is a man that had more opportunity with God, but in a weak moment commits adultery and then gets a contract murder set up and lives with that shame hidden for over a year. But when David wants to talk about what his experience of God's love, it's not vague, it's not nebulous, he writes in Psalm 103, the Lord is compassionate. He's gracious. The Lord is slow to anger. He's abounding, multiplying in steadfast, loyal love.

He would say in the midst of his failure, he doesn't deal with us according to our sins and doesn't reward us according to our iniquities for. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is God's steadfast, loyal and movable love toward those who fear him. The apostle John when he was putting his arms around what it means to be loved by God, the last of the apostles on an island in Patmos, all the others had been martyred.

Life's been hard. Persecution has been real. His life threatened and he would write in 1 John 4, there is no fear in love because perfect love casts out fear. We love because he first loved us. When I try and get my arms around God loves Chip, here's the statement that I go over in my mind. God loves you. His love is constant, unconditional, infinite, undeserved and always seeking your highest and best interests.

I personalize that. God's love for me is constant. God never has a bad day. He's never moody.

It's unconditional. He loves you when you've blown it. He loves you when you're doing great.

It's infinite for reasons totally apart from anything you've ever done or ever will do. He has chosen you and you're the object of his affection. You're precious to him and he wants to express and always give you the very highest and best. Often he gives us commands we don't like and asks us to do things that are hard and surrender in ways that are difficult out of his love to make sure we get the best in relationships, to make sure we get the best for the future because he's a father. You're his child and you matter. God's love isn't just passive though.

It turns into traction and action. When you really love someone, you got to do something and so the love of God, his love forgives our sin. His love removes our shame. His love heals our wounds and bursts new life. Out of God's love, he provides strength for today and out of his love, there's hope for tomorrow. Out of his love, he gives you power to change and break addictions and make radical changes because you know you're secure. Because he cares because he won't let you down and he gives peace to your soul.

Sharing the love begins with experiencing it firsthand. At this very moment, God deeply, passionately loves and wants to help everyone you know. The God that I just described, the God that forgave David of adultery and murder, the God who John would say in the midst of all of life, perfect love casts out fear, that God deeply, passionately loves every person you know, every person in your family, every person in your neighborhood, every person at work, every person at soccer practice and baseball practice, every person you ride mountain bikes with, every person you do software stuff with, I mean he loves them. He loves them.

It's not if, it's at this very moment. So ask yourself, how will they know he loves them? Who will show them?

Who will tell them? Second Corinthians chapter five, we'll pick it up in verse 17 because that's where most of us have lived. Something radical has happened. We're in Christ. So in verse 17 says, therefore if anyone is in Christ, he's a new creation.

The old has passed away, the new has come. All this is from God who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation. Namely that God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not counting men's trespasses against them and he's committed to us this message. This message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors.

We're his representatives. We're the bridge between his unfailing, unconditional, steadfast, loyal love and the people that we know with all the hurts that they have just like us. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you for Christ's sake be reconciled to God.

God made him Jesus who knew no sin to be sin or a sin offering so that we in him might become the very righteousness of God. What I want to talk with you about is how you can become a bridge to eternity. I want to help everyone in this room discover what I call your spiritual love language.

What I can tell you historically and what I can tell you in terms of America is only about one out of ten or two out of ten Christians, followers of Christ, actively, intentionally and regularly share the love of God with other people. And I think there's a reason for that. I think some of us think there's only one way you can do it. The Bible doesn't give us just one way. I'm going to give you six ways from scripture. There's six different love languages and there's none that are better than the others.

But what I want you to know is there's, imagine if you will, like six different kinds of shoes and your foot will fit into a different kind of shoe. There is a natural, normal way that God has made you and prepared for you to share his love with other people. And you don't have to be Billy Graham, you don't have to be Luis Palau, you don't have to be Ann Graham Lotch, you don't have to be Beth Moore, you can just be you. And there's a way that fits your personality the way God made you in the relationships that you have where you can share his love. And I want to go through them briefly and here's what I want you to do.

I don't want you just to discover your spiritual love language. I want you to walk out here saying, this week I'm going to take some steps to take this infinite, undeserved love that I've experienced and I'm going to pass it on, okay? So you ready to roll?

Do that again. Are you ready to roll? Okay, get out of pen, let's go. Let's look at the six biblical love languages God gives us and one kind of from church history and culture. Number one is what I call Peter's direct approach. This approach is for those who personally have the spiritual gift of evangelism or often an outgoing bold personality that can clearly articulate the message of who Jesus is and you can often do this with people that you've never met.

You can boldly and clearly share the gospel, answer questions, do it in a caring and non-pushy way with gentleness and respect and it just seems natural to you. This is Acts chapter two. Peter, despite his personal fears, all these people are now speaking in unknown languages declaring the glory of God and the people say, these people are drunk and Peter says, no, it's nine o'clock in the morning and he steps up and does what he never dreamed he could do and he says, this one whom you crucified is both Lord and Christ and the scripture says they were pierced to the heart, what shall we do? He says repent and believe in the name of Jesus and 3,000 people come to Christ. I don't think Peter ever saw himself doing that but in that moment it's a direct approach.

It's not just with large groups. Remember Philip? Philip is walking, God said I want you to go and there's this Ethiopian in the chariot and he's just listening and he says, do you understand what you're saying? And he goes, no, how can I?

He gets up, he's never met him before, clearly, directly explains Isaiah 53, 4, 55, the man trusts Christ and a few miles down the road he's baptized in a pool. There's some of you that are just gifted to clearly, boldly talk to people, some that you've never known and sometimes it's an outgoing personality, sometimes it's a spiritual gift of evangelism and sometimes you're an introvert with an unexplained ability and a love in your heart to share directly with people. Unfortunately, this I think has been sold as the way. Everyone needs to be able to do this. I don't think everyone's made to do that. I think this is one very important way but if we, most of us, if we think that's how you have to do it, we think, you know what, I don't think that's for me. As someone wisely or at least astutely observed, there's one thing that those who don't follow Christ and those who do follow Christ have in common. They're both uncomfortable with evangelism. The strengths of this approach are it communicates the gospel directly, concisely, often to lots of people. The weakness is if not done with sensitivity, it can come off pushy and uncaring. There's some people that kind of have this zeal.

You've probably met one or two of them where they're just pushy and over the top and Jesus loves you and you're thinking, he may but boy, I don't like you. Right? Been there? So could that be you? On a scale of one to ten, okay, every time I want you to actually write down a number.

A one is I can't possibly imagine ever doing that. A ten is that's me. Oh, that's great. A seven is that's certainly not me but it sounds kind of exciting. I think I'd like to learn. A three is if I came upon someone in a car wreck and they were dying, I think I would give it a whirl.

All right? So write down a number and don't write down number five. Spiritual love language number two is Paul's intellectual approach. This is approach for those who like giving logical and reasonable presentations of the faith. They lay out sound explanation. You like to work with concepts and ideas, present a case often somewhat like a lawyer would. You allow the other person to ask questions.

You supply them with answers through your relationship. You tend to like to study science, archeology, prophecy and you find yourself reading books on apologetics. This is Acts 17. The apostle Paul actually is waiting for some of his friends to meet him and early in the book we find out he's getting kind of discouraged. And so he's kind of lonely and he's walking around Athens and there's idols everywhere. I mean they got gods for everyone everywhere. And here's a god, it says to the unknown god. It was kind of like in case we miss one, here's an unknown one. And so he goes where the intellectuals hang out to Mars Hill.

The Stoics are there and the Epicureans are there. And Paul just out of compassion says could I have a word? And yes, he goes you know I notice you have this monument to the unknown god. I actually know him personally.

Oh really? Yeah, would you like me to tell him? And as you read there in Acts 17 he talks about the god who created all that there is and the god in whom we move and live and have our being and the god who can't be contained by anything, who's infinite and all knowing and he begins to deal with and give rational answers to the intellectuals of his day.

He even starts to quote some of their own poetry. Some of you have this ability to explain things to people. You like to read people like Francis Schaeffer or J.P. Moreland or Norman Geisler or Ken Boa or you've read Lee Strobel's book The Case for Christ and The Case for Faith and you just find yourself you know looking at scientific journals and the latest thing coming out and archeology and new discoveries. There's some of you you are made to answer the questions that honest genuine people with questions about could you actually not have to throw your brains in the trash and be a follower of Jesus? And your answer is yes. And the strength of this is you give people hope and you can talk to people in ways that a lot of us never could.

The weakness on this one is that some people get so excited about the answers they become a mini lawyer. I've been in places where people say oh man I had this amazing conversation with this you know he was an antagonist and kind of an atheist and we had this debate and I said this and he said that and I answered with this and he said this and I answered with that. It's kind of like wow I really beat him up. I showed him how right I was. And I'm thinking I don't think that's the goal.

I think the goal is with love and gentleness to let him know how much you care and in humility to say I think you have some very difficult questions that deserve clear answers shared in humility. That's what you all do. Could that be you? A one?

I can never imagine doing that. A ten. That's me. Which write down a number like don't do five at least do four. Don't do five at least do six because what I want to do is I want to give you six snapshots so you can begin to think you know what maybe that's not my love language spiritually but God has this this infinite love and he wants to share it with these people and he's going to use me to build a bridge he's going to I'm going to be a conduit so I want to discover the way that he's made me to do it. The third love language is the blind man's testimonial approach. This is an approach that is natural for people who like to share how God has changed their life. It's just down to earth honestly telling someone this is what God did in me.

This is how my life is currently changing. Here's some of the honest struggles you're willing to be vulnerable. This is what Teresa did last week in her message. She just shared her testimony.

She just shared this is this is where I've been. This is how God gave me strength. This is how God sustained me.

This is how he changed my life. It's just sharing what you've seen what you've heard and what you've experienced. I get this from John 9. The story is about Jesus and the disciples and they're walking along and as they're walking along there's a man who's been blind from birth and the disciples with their presuppositions and faulty theology say Jesus could you tell us is this man blind because of his sin or the sin of his parents? Presuming that anytime something bad happens to someone it must be because of their sin and Jesus goes wrong presupposition neither. God actually has a plan for this man for his glory and you can read the story.

It's one I don't hardly want to it's like a great movie. I don't want to spoil it for you but he takes mud and puts it on his eyes and tells him to go wash in the pool of Siloam and this man imagine when he was a little boy he's blind and he becomes a beggar he can't get a job and now he's been at the same corner forever and ever and ever and everyone's seen him in the whole town and now he can see and people I mean he can see is could this be the same guy and then the Pharisees the religious leaders learn about it and they go oh wait a second are you the same guy? Yes I am and so they don't believe him so they ask his parents and his parents are so afraid they're gonna get kicked out of the synagogue they say well you know what he's of age ask him and they say well we know this Jesus is a sinner and how can you say this guy this is great non-educated beggar speaking to the intellects of his day. All I know sirs is I was blind but now I see whether he's a sinner or not I don't know it just would seem to me that no one could give eyes and seeing to the blind unless God was with him. You know what your testimony is irrefutable no one can tell you you have not had the experiences that you've had and just to say to people you know you don't have to have all the apologetics you don't have to be able to articulate everything but in a short conversation in a medium conversation you can just share this is this is my story. I got a lady who sent me an email this week it was so encouraging she sent it to Teresa myself she said I have good friendships but I've honestly never really taken the step to communicate Christ's love and so she decided I prayed after last week's message I'm really gonna do this and so one of the people that she knew she decided they were having dinner and so at dinner she just asked a number of very specific questions and heard this lady's story she goes I heard things I just had no idea about her life and guess what the lady did she turned and said well what's your story she said I found myself telling her about my life and what Christ had done and who Jesus is and you know I could read between the lines in the email that maybe maybe this lady kind of had a new age view of Jesus somewhere somehow and as this lady in our church just shared her story the lady said I've never heard anything like this in my life how many people in your relational network that you pass by or you work with or you see as you take a walk with the dog or you know when you're sitting there while the kids are playing baseball or soccer or you know you're on the elliptical or something at the gym and you've kind of built a relationship how many of them have never ever heard of the Jesus who you know who saved you and loved you and forgiven you and maybe the testimonial approach is how you could share it one I could never imagine myself telling anyone my story ten you know there's a lot of things I can't do but I could probably do this one got it write down a number Chip's gonna be back with his application but just a quick reminder this message discovering your spiritual love language is from his series share the love how to talk to anyone about God for lots of reasons we can be hesitant to talk about our faith that's why chip taught this four-part series to boost your confidence and help you have spontaneous conversations about your relationship with Jesus now if you'd like to hear this message again the chip Ingram app is perfect for free access or one tap sharing of these powerful messages if you prefer CDs take advantage of our on-air discounts and remember the mp3s are always free just visit us online at Living on the Edge dot org or give us a call at triple-eight three three three six zero zero three I'll be right back in just a minute and give you some practical application about how you can share the love but let me ask you something who are you going to share the love with in other words who in your relational network who in your family who have your friends who's someone that comes to your mind that you think oh I so long for them to know Jesus and then let me ask you are you going to share the love with them in fact this entire series will give you the tools and equip you in a very natural way just the way God made you to build a bridge of relationship and share the gospel share your story help people that don't know Christ to actually become followers of Jesus you see here at Living on the Edge we long to minister to you but it's way bigger than that we want to equip you to make disciples that's what Jesus told us to do equip God's people to do the work of ministry and that's why in December we do this match because when you support Living on the Edge it not only ministers to well over a million people every week here and around the world but we're creating tools like share the love so that normal regular ordinary people like you and me can learn to share our story can learn to share the gospel and can see family members and friends and co-workers be transported from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light thanks for whatever you can do during this season to help support Living on the Edge financially day why don't you tell them the special opportunity we have this December well I'm glad you mentioned the match because it really is a special opportunity a small group of friends of the ministry make this match possible so that every gift we receive to continue to create resources and buy airtime and pay for all the costs involved running an operation are doubled dollar-for-dollar now if you'd like to join the team now would be a great time to partner with us to do that just go to Living on the Edge org tap donate on the app or give us a call at triple eight three three three six zero zero three that's triple eight three three three six zero zero three and let me thank you in advance for doing whatever the Lord leads you to do well chip in your message today you were talking about different ways people share their faith which is great but regardless of the approach a lot of people are afraid they're going to get trapped into a debate about the Bible or something else they might not be able to answer if that's what's stopping someone what would you say well one is when you begin to understand let's call it your evangelistic style or the way God has made you then what you begin to understand is that there's a way that you'll connect with people that is very very natural and very very winsome for you but but I would say the great majority of us as Christians we're kind of like the blind man you know it's like hey all I can tell you is I was blind but now I see man there's joy in my heart God changed my marriage I don't even know how it happened like in my case like it was three weeks later I stopped cussing it was like what I mean I just stopped cussing it was like whoa you know and but I couldn't have explained I mean I couldn't explain anything to anyone and and so what happens is you think I don't know enough and that keeps you trapped and so I'm going to say two things one is this is what to say and two here's how to be prepared and help them even if you're not ready to say it so number one just use the blind man's approach don't argue you know if they say well what about bop bop bop bop bop and bop and here's what you say well you know what I really don't know much about that but I'm going to tell you Jesus has changed my life he loves me and this is what's happened and then here's what I would say for a lot of people that's going to be I'm glad for you but you know can I trust the Bible is it reasonable to believe that Jesus is the only way how in the world can you really believe that those documents have been passed on from here and there there's five or six major questions about the Bible and so I did a series called why I believe it's our number one seller and we have it in small group format audio format I would encourage you get that listen to it or what I've seen lots of people do go oh listen to this one on why you can trust the Bible and let me handle that one for you I think it'll give you confidence and be a great help moving forward super helpful thanks for that well the series Chip just mentioned why I believe is our number one best seller Chip lays out why you can confidently believe that Jesus rose from the dead that life after death is a fact that the Bible really is God's word and much more you'll find these messages perfect for answering the questions your friends and family are asking why I believe is available in video and audio formats there's a study guide that goes with it and as always mp3s are free to order your copy just give us a call at triple 8 3 3 3 6 0 0 3 or visit us online at Living on the Edge org well that's it for this program I hope you'll join us again next time when chip continues his series share the love until then this is Dave Drewey saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.