God commands us to guard our hearts with all diligence, because all of life's relationships, decisions, actions, and words flow from our heart.
Here's the question, how do you do that? That's today on Living on the Edge. Stay with me. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Living on the Edge is an international discipleship ministry featuring the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram.
I'm Dave Druey. I'm excited to have you with us because you're about to hear some counterintuitive challenges to the way we tend to think about relationships, some things you might not have considered before. Real quick, let me encourage you to tap fill in notes or jump online to livingontheedge.org and do an easy download of the message notes for this one. You may want to jot a few things down as we go. Now, Chip's invited his son Ryan Ingram to bring us this message, and he'll be with us after Ryan's teaching to share some additional thoughts, so be sure to stay with us for that.
Well, let's get started, shall we? Here's Ryan Ingram with part two of his message, Follow Your Heart. Now, one of the things our culture has gotten right is our heart is of central importance. The Bible has actually a lot to say about the heart. And when it speaks about the heart, it doesn't just speak about your feelings or your emotions.
In fact, the Hebrew thought didn't separate the interior life of a person. The heart, according to the Bible, when you read that in Scripture, it means the center of a person's mind, emotions, and will. It is the seat of one's moral conscience and affection. This is the heart.
It is the interior you. And so when the Bible speaks of it, it speaks much more broadly and significantly in how we are to attend and care for our hearts, and that is not separated from your mind, your will, or your feelings, but it's all of who you are. And in Proverbs, if you would open up to Proverbs chapter 4 verse 23, the author gives us incredible wisdom. Okay, if we're not going to follow our heart, if it's not the best guide, if it's not the truest thing about me, what in the world do I do with it?
Because now I'm just confused. I don't know which direction to go, Ingram. Listen to what the author says. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Just underline, above all else. This is one of those comparative statements where he's saying, if you're going to compare your activity, your intentionality, your energy and your time, where you put the most energy, the most time, the most focus in, guard your heart. Watch, protect, preserve more than anything else. If you do nothing else is what he's saying. Guard your heart.
Why? For everything. Circle that word everything. Everything you do flows from it.
Principle. The author's saying, all of life flows from your heart. All of your life flows from your heart. Everything you have done and will do has first originated from inside of you from your heart. And so the condition of your heart directly impacts the quality of your relationships around you. So he says, guard your heart. And our tendency, when we think about our heart, our tendency is to think our hearts are neutral. That they're just this neutral reality and yet the truth is our hearts are deeply and profoundly influenced. How we think, how we feel, how we act is actually shaped and formed by what I call these streams of influence.
Hey, I'll pull up the proverb again. Above all else, guard your heart for from it flow the, help me out, springs. Now he's painting a picture here and I want to paint a picture for you and yes, I can't help but get the whiteboard out. And I know in the back you're going to have a little hard time seeing this, but this picture is going to stick with you and it might be one of the most important pictures you see and you get this year.
I call it the streams of influence because if we can understand what the author's saying here, it will reshape how you go about your life. Now what he's saying is I just want you to have, you have a heart in your bulletin and I know it's not like Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day yet. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to write your name right in the middle.
I'm going to write mine right there, Ryan. This is your heart. The picture that the author is saying is your heart is like a reservoir. Your heart is a spring from which life or water flows. And so what the author's saying is this is your heart and like a reservoir has one place that it pours out.
That is your life. Your identity flows from here, right? Your work, your relationships, the way you love, the way you talk. In fact, Jesus would say, out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. The way you spend your energy, your time, your passions, all of who you are and what you do flows from here.
Just one river coming out. All of that. What you treasure. You want to know what has your heart? Jesus would say what you treasure and value most has your heart. Now here's the part we miss. The part we tend to miss on this is that our heart is constantly being influenced and impacted.
That's the reason the author says guard or watch over your heart. Just like a reservoir, it has streams. Streams that are flowing into it.
These streams fill up the reservoir and once the reservoir is full, only out of the overflow does the reservoir pour forth. The question is what are the streams of influence in your life? See, I know for some of us, many of us, past hurts, maybe trauma is a stream of influence in your life that's pouring into your heart. Maybe it's your family of origin that's pouring into your life. Your self-talk and what you say to yourself. The shame, the guilt. You'll never be good enough.
You have to prove your desire for acceptance is pouring into your life. Okay, let's get a little bit personal here. Social media. The average person we said last week spends three hours a day on social media. I did some quick math because I'm fantastic at it. That means on average, adults spend 1,095 hours per year on social media. Now, here's the fascinating part. We all know and have seen the studies.
At least I assume so. Time on social media platforms increases anxiety, depression, insecurity. Like we understand that this stream is pouring into here and what's coming out is insecurity. What's coming out is anxiety. What's coming out is a sense of comparing and never being good enough. Do you get it? Oh man, this one's gonna hurt.
TV, media, movies, binge watching. See, we somehow have deluded ourselves to think that I can take all that in and it has no impact and yet it is like a stream pouring into the reservoir. Now here's how we're, this is the reason Jeremiah would say the heart is deceptive above all else. Is it starts as a trickle? It starts little and it just slowly kind of fills up.
You ever seen something gradually change over the course and if you're constantly there all the time, you never notice the change. And for many that's the state of your heart. Music, don't mess with my music. I love music by the way. I was watching the Grammys the other night. Love the Grammys. It was one of the most dark Grammys I've seen. Jesus would say it this way, as a person thinks, so they become. When I was in high school, I got into a phase of nirvana. Nirvana was big.
Some of you just need to go look them up. It's fine. And I had one because I had to sneak it. My parents wouldn't let me have it. And I'm listening on repeat and I just remember being so depressed and down and not even knowing why. Because as a teen, we don't get it, we don't understand it, but we just kind of take it in because we're like, hey, I like it and it's kind of rebellious.
That'd be great. And yet it is flowing into our hearts. Oh, this is a big one. Friendships. Who are the people around you? Paul would say it this way.
Take note of this in 1 Corinthians 14 or 15. Bad company corrupts good character. Like the friendships you surround yourself.
It's been said many times. Show me your friends and I can show you your future. Why? Because they are a stream of influence in to your life that is shaping and molding who you are. And some of you are going like, Ingraham, are you ever going to get to God's word? Yeah, right now.
Thank you very much. Think about this. God's word is a stream of influence. Psalm 119 says this, how can a young person stay on the path of purity by living according to your word? Then it says this, I will seek you with all my heart. How much of their heart?
All of it. Why? Don't let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
Like God's word streaming into our heart. Godly mentors. He who walks with the wise will become wise but a companion of fools suffer harm. Who you surround yourself. Church. Worshiping together.
Sitting under the teaching of God's word and then applying it. See, let me ask you, how's your heart? See, at some point we have to address and think about the streams of influence that are feeding into our hearts because those are the very things that shape our future and what we do.
They shape our relationships and how they go. And so Relational Intelligence says this, don't follow your heart. Guard your heart. Don't follow your heart. Guard your heart.
Why? For all of life flows from it. Parents, quick word to you. We are guardians of the streams of influence in our kids' lives. And that changes obviously as they get older. But I'm very concerned that too many parents are handing their kids iPads having no idea what they're on and allowing them to be shaped, informed and influenced by everything else instead of going, guess what? I'm a guardian of my kids and so I'm going to know the type of friends, the music, what they're watching, social media.
I want to know the self-talk that they're telling themselves because I want God's word to inform their identity. Not culture, not social media. The secret streams, we didn't talk about those, did we? The streams that you don't want anyone else to know. The stream that you say, well it's not hurting anyone else.
First one that comes to mind, pornography. The secret streams not only pollute your heart but it will ultimately publicly expose in your relationships. See there are streams in your life that you need to dam up. There are streams in your life that you need to put a filter on.
A Brita filter for that stream in your life. Maybe it's with your social media. Hey, I have a filter. I just don't have any social media on my phone. I don't even get the newsfeed anymore because the newsfeed was messing me up. I'm like I don't want all that coming in at me.
So maybe you need to put a filter on it. Maybe there's some friendships that honestly or a dating relationship that is a stream that's polluting your heart and you actually need to cut it off. And I know that sounds harsh. The question isn't follow your heart. It's are you guarding your heart? So let me ask you, what are the streams of influence that are polluting or purifying your heart?
Would you take that picture and actually unpack it in your life and recognize what are the streams of influence that are polluting? What are the streams of influence that are purifying and refining you? Like we gotta amp up God's word. We gotta amp up and actually commit.
I get that this is a busy season and a busy place but you gotta get in a group and grow with some people and get honest and be real and go you know what? I wanna become the man or the woman God has created me to be and so I'm going to begin to invest in these areas. What are the streams of influence that are polluting or purifying?
And I just wanna give you just this one word here. It's a process. See we kinda think oh I got into God's word and everything here should change.
It took a long time to fill that reservoir up and it'll take time of cutting off some bad streams, filtering out some of those and pumping in fresh clean pure water. And as you consistently do that what you'll see is your heart and your life will change and your work and your relationships and the way you talk, your identity. What are the streams of influence that are polluting or purifying your heart?
And then this question. For the sake of your and you fill in the blank. Where do you need to apply disproportionate energy? For the sake of your marriage where do you need to apply disproportionate energy? Remember it said above all else. That is disproportionate energy. Where do you need to go above all else? For the sake of your family.
Where do you need to apply disproportionate energy? For the sake of your friendship, for the sake of your future. Listen and you can write this one in. For the sake of your heart.
Where do you need to apply disproportionate energies? Singles in the room I wanna just extend this challenge to you. When it comes to relationships and this. Would you focus? Would you focus on becoming the right person over finding the right person?
Would you focus on the heart work instead of just trying to get someone to meet you? In fact I've given this challenge multiple times and it's the one thing that people come back to years later and thank me. In fact my wife and I were on a date the other day. And this guy stopped and thanked me for this bit of advice.
He said when you said during that relationship series. And I challenge men on this. Men we need this. Women you're more in tune but you need this as well. But men you need to step up in this.
Take one year. Stop dating and focus on your character. Focus on your heart.
Focus on your relationship with Jesus. About three months on average the woman of your dreams will enter your life. You're like oh my goodness. And if she's really the woman of your dreams you just let her know you made the commitment.
You can be friends but you can't date and she'll wait. But you know what? I've had the joy of having men come up to me years later introduce me to their wives. Thank me for that piece of advice and then show me their kids and they're like I'm so grateful for it.
See because everything you do flows from here in your life. And so if you want to have a great relationship it starts with your heart. And that's my word to some of you marrieds.
Maybe you've been in a relationship a long time. Would you focus on your heart change over trying to change your spouse's heart? We spend way too much time and energy in marriage trying to change our spouse's heart. You can't.
Only God can. So stop trying and realize it's an issue of my heart. God I'm going to give you my heart.
Would you change mine? You're listening to Living on the Edge and Chip's with us to talk about the message you just heard. But in case you jumped in late our guest teacher today was Ryan Ingram with his message Follow Your Heart from his series Relational Intelligence. Navigating relationships has never been easy which is why Chip asked Ryan to come and share these messages that bring such practical applications to the daily challenges.
Culture has a powerful voice that influences our attitudes and our thinking. So Ryan's fresh perspective on relationship building from a biblical point of view provides the tools you may need to make a few course corrections. For a limited time resources for Relational Intelligence are discounted and the MP3's are always free. To order your copy or to send it to a friend visit us online at livingontheedge.org.
For additional information just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003. Well Chip I know you've got a great application for today but before we get to that what do we have that will help people put into practice some of the things Ryan was talking about? Dave I remember a quote by Les and Leslie Parrott who've written a number of books on relationships who make this foundational statement, unless you first become a whole person that is deeply loved by God then you will search to fill the gap or the hole in your heart by some person in some way that will always be dysfunctional. In other words what they were saying is you have to be filled with love and be secure before you can have a healthy relationship. And so what we're doing in the daily discipleship with Chip is we are studying the book of Ephesians and what we learn is that before God we are wanted, before God we're secure, before God we're valuable, significant and precious.
And when we study those passages and that gets from our head to our heart then instead of looking for love from people that will always be fickle and will let us down, God says you'll be positioned to be a giver and have the kind of healthy relationships that really last for a lifetime. So let me invite you if you want to really practice Relational Intelligence join me for daily discipleship with Chip. If you'd like to join these short daily video sessions with Chip sign up today. Each video session will only be about 10 minutes and as the course progresses Chip will walk you through how to read scripture and how to hear God speak directly to you through the first three chapters of the book of Ephesians. Now to sign up for daily discipleship with Chip visit us online at livingontheedge.org.
For more information just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003. As we wrap up today's program I had an amazing experience. I happened to not just listen or watch online. I was in the room as Ryan was teaching this and I was taking notes and I don't know why. I mean I've taught the Bible for an awful long time but when he drew that picture of a heart and then he started putting all these arrows of the different streams and made the metaphor. The heart is like a reservoir and it gets filled up and whatever it gets filled up with then it overflows into your thinking, your words, your decisions, your relationships.
And for the life of me I sat there and I'm drawing pictures and I'm writing down all this stuff and I just realized, wow, this is such a vivid word picture. It is so true and I began to think of how our hearts get hard and what the Bible says of God will give us a new heart and just passages were flooding in my mind. And then I looked at literally what are the streams of media, of music, of people that are going into my life that pollute my heart, that harden my heart, that make my heart insensitive toward God. And what are the streams, the people, the word of God, beautiful music, walks in nature, memorizing scripture, fellowship that's deep and rich, the streams of things that fill the reservoir of my heart with life and peace and joy and they overflow into everything and everyone else.
And as we close today's program I have a small assignment that could make a big difference. Would you make a picture of a heart on a sheet of paper and then I want you to begin to list and put an arrow into that heart all the positive things that are going into your heart of hearts that are life-giving, Christ-centered. And then I would like you to be as honest as you can possibly be and make a list of things and then put arrows entering in your heart of the negative people, the negative music, the actions, the attitudes, the media, perhaps the pornography, perhaps the current relationship that is doing everything to pollute your heart. Because here's the issue, your life, your decisions, your future, everything about you will flow out of your heart. And here's the decision, today you need to decide to stop some of the things that are polluting your heart, they'll ruin your life. And today you need to start saying, what's the one thing I can do to purify my heart?
Take a baby step, say no to the negative, say yes to the positive and say, Lord, I can't do this apart from you, help me. And here's the promise He will. As we wrap up, I want to say thank you to those who make this program possible through your generous financial support. Your gifts help us create programs, purchase airtime and develop additional resources to help Christians live like Christians. Now, if you've been blessed by the Ministry of Living on the Edge, would you consider sending a gift today? You can call us at 1-888-333-6003, tap the donate button or donate online at livingontheedge.org. Your support is greatly appreciated. Well, until next time, this is Dave Druey saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.
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