Today I'm Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. There is a place that God created where you can experience authentic love and connection like nowhere else on earth. It's a place where loneliness isn't welcome and meaningful relationships abound. It's a community where people can be reconnected to their family.
Sound like a place you might want to go, stick around. I'll give you directions on how to get there. God cares about your loneliness. Jesus understands your pain. He invites you into a relationship with him.
But here's the problem many Christians face. They're positional members of the church, yet they never truly participate. They're saved, forgiven, part of the family, but still lonely. I'm Dave Druy, and today on Living on the Edge, Chip Ingram reveals the difference between attending church and actually belonging. In our series, Experience Breakthrough, we're discovering how to stop feeling confined by life's biggest barriers.
Last time we learned that loneliness is universal. Today, CHIP shows us God's solution, authentic community in the body of Christ.
Well, here's Chip Ingram with today's message. Let me give you four reasons why you don't have to be lonely. First, you don't have to be lonely because God cares about your loneliness. God knows your deepest feelings of loneliness, and He cares. Second reason that you don't have to be lonely and I don't have to be lonely is Jesus understands your loneliness.
Hebrews 4:15 says that we don't have a high priest that can't sympathize with our weaknesses. But he, like us, has been tempted in every way, yet without sin. He understands everything that you feel in the realm of loneliness. God not only cares, but Jesus completely understands. Because he understands There's a third reason we don't have to be lonely.
The third reason is Jesus invites you into a relationship with Him. Jesus in Matthew 11:28 through 30 says, Listen to this, arms open. Come, come to me. All who are weary. and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Then notice the offer. Take My yoke upon you And learn from me. And it's a process, isn't it? Learn from me. Why do we learn from him?
Notice the two adjectives. I am gentle. The word means power under control. I'm power under control and humble of heart. That word means vulnerable.
approachable. Non-judgmental. And you will find Rest for your souls. Have you ever just wondered what it'd be like to have rest for your soul? to be clean.
To be forgiven. To have the God of the universe put his arm around you and say, I love you just how you are. And in ways that you can take a little at a time, I'll teach you and love you and help you. Become all that I designed you to be. Notice how it ends, For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
See, a lot of us grew up with a view of God, and God's got his arms crossed, and he's got his finger out. You better get with it. There's a lot of rules to keep. If you're not keeping the rules, you better do this, you better do that, you better do this, you better do that. And our view of God is so distorted.
The God of the Bible has arms open. Come. See, it's the off verb relationship. And he's saying to you, I'm standing at the door of your life. I don't care where you've been.
I don't care the sin that's so grievous to your heart and you feel so guilty. I've come, and when I died on the cross, I paid for it. Come to me. If you don't have a relationship with Christ, if you're not 100% sure that if you died, Because it's going to happen to all of us sometime somewhere. Jesus is inviting you.
I'd like to solve your loneliness problem. I'd like to forgive you. The moment you pray and say, Lord Jesus, come into my life, I believe when you died on the cross it was for me, and my sins are forgiven. The moment you pray and receive Him as your Savior, the Holy Spirit will come into your life. The Bible says you'll be sealed in the Spirit.
You'll be adopted as one of His sons or daughters. You'll have power over sin. You'll still struggle. You'll have Freedom from the penalty of sin. You'll have new relationships.
You will move into a whole new arena. Will it be easy? Oh, of course not. But is your life easy now? Mine's not.
but you can go through it with someone.
So, well, we've solved it, haven't we? Aren't you glad you came? But we have. You don't have to be lonely. God cares, right?
He's all-knowing, all-powerful, and he loves you. Jesus understands your loneliness, so if you talk to him at any time, I mean, his heart will break with your hurt. He invites you into a relationship if you haven't. And finally, once you're in a relationship with Him, you belong to one another. And so, since you belong, everything's great, right?
Gosh, we're done pretty early. Doesn't work quite like that, does it? See the fact of the matter is There's a lot of us that belong. We're born again. We know Christ.
But your experience in the body of Christ is like you live your life feeling like there's a plexiglass box around you, and you're on the outside looking in. And in your heart of hearts, you don't feel like anyone really cares. And you don't feel deeply connected. And it may be true of you that you know God, and it may be true of you that you belong. But you don't feel it.
So let me Let me take some time. and see if we can't Discuss and discover how you experience. Authentic love and real connection in the body of Christ. How does that work? Let me give you a quick picture that might help you.
At least register intellectually with what I'm talking about. Many of us have had this problem of getting in shape, right? We all want to be in shape, at least to some.
Sometimes the doctors say get in shape and it motivates us. And other times around Christmas, someone buys us one of those little coupons to go to a gym or to a spa.
Sometimes we get motivated and bought. But whatever it is, whether someone else bought it or you bought it. You can sign up to go to one of the area gyms or one of the spas. Or you can buy a treadmill and put it in one of the back bedrooms. And the moment you sign up, For the gym.
Or for the spa, what? Your problem with getting in shape is solved. Isn't it? All the machines that you need to get in shape are available. And when you go there, they'll talk about nutrition and they'll talk about habits and they'll talk about lifestyle.
And they'll even pinch you and tell you your body weight, fat. Dup, dup, dup, and all that stuff, right? And they'll tell you which exercises you're in.
Now, help me with this.
However, if you sign on the dotted line. and you're a member of the spa or the gym. You have positional membership. But You never go. How in shape do you get?
Zippo. Nada. Flavorine, right? High cholesterol. It's the same in the body of Christ.
You can be a positional member. You're saved. You know Christ. You're forgiven. You're in the family.
You belong to other believers. But a positional member is very different than a. Practicing member. A participating member. There are very few benefits.
It's like the kid who might live in your house, and this isn't hopefully happening anywhere. It's like living in a house and all the fun's around the dining room table, and people are eating, and laughing, and having fun, and giving high fives, and even having a good few healthy arguments. You can live in that house, but if you stay in your room all the time, You don't get it. See, I believe it is the state. of scores of people in this room and all over the world.
People are positional members. But you know? They're not practicing members. And until you are a participating member of the body of Christ, Guess what? You're lonely.
Are you lonely because God doesn't care? Nope. Uh Are you lonely because Jesus doesn't understand your pain? Nope. Are you lonely because he hasn't invited you?
into relationship with him to solve the problem? Nope. Are you lonely because no one cares, there's no place to belong? Nope. What are you lonely?
You're lonely for two reasons. One, I believe you have a distorted view of the church. And two, you have a distorted view of relationships. And so in the time remaining, here's what I want to do. I want to help you break out of your loneliness and isolation by rethinking your view of the church and.
by revising your approach to relationships. First, rethinking your view of the church. Many people think of the church as an institution. It's buildings, it's programs, it's structure, it's this idea of them. In fact, when I meet you out at the mall or when I'm running around, when you tell me I go to your church.
You're telling me that you think church is a them and you're a we.
So you don't feel apart. The church is not an institution. The church is a community. Community is where you have involvement, sharing, relationships, and connection. See, the church is not an event to attend.
Like, I'm going to the theater. It's Saturday night or Sunday morning. Let's go to the church. It's a place to attend. Hope the music's good.
Hope Chip has a good day, you know? I'm going to the church, an event. That's not the church. The church is a place to belong. It's a family.
It's us. It's in relationships. And until you rethink how you think about the church, you're going to be lonely. And there's steak dinners spiritually on the table. And starving people, and that didn't make sense to God.
You're listening to Living on the Edge. More from Chip Ingram in just a moment. But first, if today's teaching is resonating with you, don't keep it to yourself. You can easily share this message with friends and family by visiting livingonthege.org. There, you'll find not only today's program, but an entire collection of biblical resources designed to help you experience breakthrough in every area of life.
It's all available at livingonthege.org.
Well, let's continue with Chip's message. Look at the early church, Acts chapter 2. Just listen to it. Just listen to it and you tell me. You tell me if this sounds like an institution.
or an event to come to to schedule in your planner. Or if this sounds more like life and relationships and involvement, Early church, they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship and to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled. with awe and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together.
and had everything in. Common, Koinonia, sharing. Relationship, involvement. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as they had need. That means they at least knew each other's names, didn't it?
They cared about one another. They got out of their comfort zone. It wasn't any easier for them than it is for us. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They had large group worship, temple courts.
They had instruction, they had celebration, they had worship. But in temple courts or on a Saturday night or a Sunday morning, you can't experience all God wants for the church. This is one function. But notice what happens after the temple courts, and they did it daily. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts.
They broke bread, they had meals together, shared the Lord's Supper where? In homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts. You're kidding. You mean small groups isn't a new method that someone made up to help churches grow? No.
Yeah. You mean meeting at home, sharing meals, isn't something that some seminar group came up with? No. It's actually right from the beginning. See, it's real life relationships.
You worship here, you learn here. But life doesn't take on meaning until you sit down over a coffee table, or you sit down around the fire at the beach, or you go have some fun together, and you look into someone else's eyes, and those eyes say, You matter. Tell me your story. Tell me your struggle. Tell me where you're frustrated.
Let us pray for you about the relationship that's not working in your life. Let's pray for your boss. Let's hang in there with your sick kid. Notice what happens when the church operates this way. Verse 47, they're praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people, believers and unbelievers, and the Lord added to their number daily those who are being saved.
Everybody needs somebody. that cares about you as you. And I know, I know. But ship. I don't do relationships well.
I tried one of those groups you're talking about in a church. And you should have seen the Waka who led that group. Or, I shared something in one of those groups and then I heard about it from someone else two weeks later. I've been burned. I've been hurt.
I've been rejected. I've been abandoned. No one really cares about me. No one would really want to enter into a relationship with me.
So I've learned to keep acting in a way that makes that true. What you're saying sounds great, Chip. And with all these people here, when we laugh together, it seems, yeah. But when they play that last song and you walk out the doors, I feel like I'm alone again. How do you do relationships?
where you can start to break down these barriers and get connected in the body of Christ. Suggestion number one, realize your need. As long as it's an option, you won't do it. It's our pride that makes us think, you know, I don't really need other people. No, you just need to keep lying to yourself.
There's no Lone Rangers. The Bible is clear that attachment is essential. Life was made. Listen, life was made for relationships. It can't even be just you and God.
He didn't design it that way. Realize your need. Two, move toward others.
Now, it's great when people move towards you. But for some of us You see. We walk in and here's how we all think. See, you look happy, you look smiling. When everyone gets up and introduces and says hi, you know, I look around the room and everyone's got it together, and you're probably in a group, and you're probably in a ministry, and life's probably going great for you.
It's not for me. What you don't understand is 65 to 70% of all the people that you think that about, it's not true. They're struggling just like you are. They don't have it together. They're hurting and they're struggling.
They need you to walk across an aisle, make a phone call, extend a hand, smile, and say, How are you doing? And you're saying, well, no one's ever done that to me in this church. They haven't. And I've counted. 52 weeks, no one's done that.
Of course, you haven't done that to anyone else, have you? You gotta move toward others. Scary, you bet. Can't be any worse than loneliness. Number three, be vulnerable.
The word vulnerability literally means be open. to attack. See, when I meet someone that either looks like they have it all together or projects they have it all together, you know what I've learned over the years? One, I'm too intimidated, I don't want to get around them. And two, I've been around the block to know they're either faking it or they're lying.
So I don't want to be around them either. Right?
Now are you attracted to people that really meant? Yeah, yeah, they really got it. But the moment someone shares a hurt, the moment someone shares a struggle, the moment someone peels a little bit of the mask off and lets me know what's going on inside, I'm immediately attracted to them. You know why? Because, oh, good, they're like me: insecure, struggling, temptation, all kinds of problems.
And I need help with them, and I don't know, I just feel comfortable. Is it scary? Yes, but be vulnerable. Do it wisely. Open up a little at a time.
Make sure how people respond, don't do it with everyone. But take some steps. Fourth, channel distorted thinking. No one likes you. They'll abandon you.
It'll be just like last time. You keep those running, and you're right. Nothing will change. Challenge those. Fifth, take risks.
Step out, extend a hand, join a group. Reach out to someone. Take a risk. Six, be empathetic. Identify with others' hurts.
If you can get others-centered and listen, listen, listen. Start. I have never found a person who's a great listener that doesn't have tons of friends. You know why? Who do people love to talk about more than anyone else in the whole world?
Ourselves. Do you realize what great friends you can have and say, where are you from?
Well, do you have any children? What part of the country? How's that going? What's the biggest struggle you have in work? Boy, that must be very difficult.
How do you manage that? You just keep asking questions and listen, listen, listen. You know what? They walk away thinking, man, what a nice guy. Right?
And then, out of sheer politeness, they might try something like, you know, I've been talking for 20 minutes. How are you? And where are you from? And you're thinking, this works, I love it. Finally, pray.
Trust God. Pray, pray, pray. Every time you come to a crossroads and you think, I want to take a step toward this person, I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I can't do it. And God will say, That's right, you can't, but I can't with you.
Okay, I'll do it. Pray, pray, pray, trust God. How does connecting occur? The first, smile. It's amazing, just when you smile at someone.
Two, Uh extend a hand. Hi, my name is. I've been coming so-and-so. Three For three minutes, I want you to talk with someone. You don't know.
You know what we do, those of us who feel connected? We come here, smile, think everyone's okay, and you know, I think. Great, Marty. How are you doing? I know Marty.
Hey, Sue, how's it going? I know Sue. Hey, Gordon, hey, man, how's it going? Tell me about. And so we all know each other, we talk to each other, and all the people who are not connected walk in, walk out, walk in.
For three minutes, don't talk to anybody you know. Fourth, help out. The quickest way to get connected is people are desperate for help. You want help in the kitchen? I'll help out.
You need help with those kids? I'll help out. Hey, shaking hands, giving out bulletins, and that'll help out. You need help put these chairs up? I'll help out.
What happens? You forge relationships. The summary to lick Loneliness. You gotta write in the word, belong. You gotta belong.
You see, it's these informal steps plus formal strategies that will produce. A connected community of love. This is Living on the Edge Chip Ingramram. Today, Chip gave us practical, actionable steps to move from isolation into genuine community. It starts with something as simple as a smile, a handshake, three minutes of conversation with someone new.
Chip will be back in just a moment with one final challenge. As we continue this series on experiencing breakthrough, you might be realizing you need to build a stronger spiritual foundation.
Well, that's exactly why we're offering Chip's free online devotional Psalms of Hope. Here's what makes this resource different. Chip doesn't just explain the Psalms to you. He teaches you how to study them for yourself. Each day for 10 days, you'll spend 10 minutes learning from Chip, then 10 minutes applying what you've learned through prayer and meditation.
You'll journey through Psalm 1, Psalm 15, and Psalm 23, passages that speak directly to finding stability, experiencing God's presence, and building authentic relationships. This isn't about adding another obligation to your schedule. It's about creating a daily rhythm. Of connecting with God that can transform your entire life. And it's completely free online at livingonthege.org.
Just search for Psalms of Hope.
Now, creating resources like this takes financial investment. When you give to Living on the Edge, you're not just supporting a radio program, you're helping people around the world discover what it means to truly walk with God. If this ministry is making a difference in your life, please consider giving today. Visit livingonthege.org to give or write to livingonthege PO Box 3007 Atlanta, Georgia 30024. You can also call 888-333-6003.
Don't miss the Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast, a new feature on the Living on the Edge podcast. Every sermon, complete and unedited, now available alongside our daily broadcasts. Subscribe to the Living on the Edge podcast today.
Well, now here's Chip with a final thought. As we wrap up today's program, I'd like to ask you a personal question. Do you feel loved? Are you in an authentic community? Do you struggle with loneliness?
And if so, are you really willing to let God love you? Are you willing to let Him cause a breakthrough? You know, there's a lot of us in our times of loneliness, we cry out to God, we feel depressed, we feel discouraged, and God says He wants to have us experience authentic love and connection with His family. But it's not all his job. We have a part.
So let me ask you some penetrating questions, and then I want to review some of those steps about how to build authentic relationships. But the first question is: how do you view the church? Is it just something where you show up and say, Yeah, I'm putting in my time and you go now and then? Or are you like some of us, are you in that season where you've given up on the institutional church? You know, you've seen the hypocrisy, you've done the nine yards, and you said, forget church.
I want to tell you something. There are some churches that are not doing it well. I'm a pastor. I can say that. I admit that.
But you've got to know God has great churches out there. He's got a great church near you where people are authentic, but you've got to go look. The second thing is, it's not an event. It's a family that you belong to, and that means that, you know, people are going to have their struggles, but guess what? You have your struggles, so be a little kinder, have a little more tolerance with people in the church when they blow it because.
you're going to blow it too.
Now, let's talk about your part. How do you build authentic relationships? I went over these and I went pretty quickly.
So, if you have a pen or pencil, you might want to jot these down. And then I'm going to ask you: once you jot these down, I want you to pick one point and put it into action today. See, that's the key to experiencing God's grace. It's not knowing more, it's obeying.
So, how do you build authentic relationships? Number one, realize your need. Remember that one? Really accept you have a need for this. Number two, move toward others.
Don't wait for a friend to come into your life. Go find someone and be a friend to them. Number three, this is tough, be vulnerable. You will get about as deep. With others, as you are willing to let them get with you.
Take the first step. Share a little more significantly what's really going on. Number four, challenge your distorted thinking. You know, no one likes me. I'm not worth anything.
That's not true. When that comes up in your mind, you say, that's not true. That's not true. You challenge it. Number five, take risks.
Yeah, that's you. Take some risks. Number six, be empathetic. You start listening, listening, listening to others, and you'll find everybody wants to be around you. And finally, number seven, trust God.
Ask Him for a friend. Pray, pray, pray. Pray. He'll answer. Feel stuck in a spiritual rut?
I'm Dave Druy, inviting you to discover how to break free tomorrow on Living on the Edge. Uh Today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge. Uh
