We hear a lot today about reducing stress and the health benefits of living with less stress. The question is, how do you do it? How do you keep your cool when the pressure heats up? How do you stop stress before it starts? Don't go away.
Thanks for being with us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Chip serves as our Bible teacher for this global teaching and discipleship ministry, helping Christians develop an authentic faith.
Well, in just a minute, you'll hear the second half of Chip's talk, Learning How to Stop Stress Before It Starts, which is from our series, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy. And be sure to keep listening after the teaching as Chip shares some additional insights that'll help you in your struggle to control anger. Don't miss it.
Well, with all that said, here's Chip as he begins by continuing to unpack the ways we can minimize stress. Let's get going. Number four, admit mistakes and imperfections. If we could just liberate one another, one of the core values, we only have four Living on the Edge, and we did it with the acronym L-O-T-E. And the L is for live it out.
We got to be what we want others to become. And the O is for own your stuff. Don't blame. Don't tell someone else. It wasn't on time.
It was you're late. I love it when someone says, one of the new guys that's working with us, and I get this email. Hey chip.
Sorry man, haven't done this in years. I thought my plane was to leave at this time. It's no one else's fault. I didn't look at the thing. I missed my plane.
I'll miss the meeting. I blew it.
Sorry. I wrote him an email back. I said, hey, Rick, let me tell you this. You made my day. Thanks so much.
You didn't tell me it was someone else's fault. You didn't tell me your assistant blew it. You didn't tell me that you'd renegotiated things and thought it might be better to come a second day, but you're really sorry. There was no smoke. There was no mirrors.
You made a mistake. Welcome to the human race. You owned your stuff. Way to go. Keep it up.
Do you realize how much stress We're under to slightly bend the truth to say the traffic was really heavy. Of course it was very heavy, and you left a half hour late. Right? You know, you would really love to do it. You would never want to do that in a million years.
Right, but you can't. Mm-hmm. You you you forgot how about that one? You know, like. You know what?
I forgot to call you back. There was one I was checking my messages from somewhere and I thought And I called the guy, and I, and this is human, I think. I thought to myself, okay, I was busy, I was traveling. There's got to be a legitimate excuse. This is an important relationship, and it's been four days.
And then God had this little thought from the Holy Spirit. Why don't you just tell him you forgot? Isn't that what happened? Yeah. That doesn't sound very spiritual, Lord.
Yeah, I know. But uh Is it the truth? Yeah. Do you think human beings ever forget shit? Yeah.
Why don't you just tell him you forgot? Okay.
So I called this guy and I said, hey, is it really one of those real important type things? And I said, hi, this is Chip. And by the way, I realize it's been a number of days and, you know, sounded pretty urgent and I just forgot. And you know what was the other end of the phone was? It wasn't like, you are a terrible person.
You will now be sent to, if there's a purgatory, you will now go there. I mean, it was just, hey, man, I understand. What happens? Admit your mistakes. Five, laugh more often.
Don't take life. Or yourself so seriously. Proverbs 17:22 says: A cheerful heart is good medicine. I mean, the people that I know that have inspired me and helped me. have a great sense of humor and they laugh and they have fun.
And I just want to encourage you to, a lot of the anger, a lot of the stress will leave. When you just lighten up a little bit. and enjoy yourself. Number six is take care of yourself. I mean, this is one that you almost don't want to say because it's going to go over the top, but I'll just say it just so I can have good stewardship: is you need enough rest, you need to eat good food, and you need to work out enough to keep your body in shape.
And when you don't do those things, when you don't have very much rest, when you eat stuff that's no good for you. and you don't do any kind of exercising, you're going to be angry more often. It's just the way it is. Less sleep. Less energy.
And you know, I don't think everyone has to be quote a health nut, but I think you ought to ask yourself. If this really is the temple of God, 1 Corinthians 6, 19, 20. If this really is the temple of God, Am I treating it like God's temple? And then you know, you just start slow with where you're at and start putting more good stuff instead of bad stuff in your body. And if you've never jogged or anything, you just start walking and just little by little by little, but you take care of yourself and you'll just find your anger.
By the way, a lot of people that have not good eating habits and don't work out. Guess who you're angry at Yeah, that's just. My background in undergraduate and grad work, I did in undergrad, but then in just a few classes in grad work in psychology. And there's this weird thing: the way our minds work: when people don't like themselves or they feel guilty or bad, they feel like they need to punish themselves. And we will actually create behaviors to produce outcomes.
To make equalize things inside of us. And so people will eat and do things that are bad for them that create outcomes that sort of say, well, this is the kind of person I am. This is what I deserve.
Now that as weird as that sounds, it's true. But take care of yourself. You matter. You're important. You're precious.
You're loved. And then finally, know what triggers your anger. And let me give you an acronym here: H-A-L-T. Halt. When you're hungry?
Angry? Lonely? or tired, stop. Halt. Don't make a big decision.
Don't go anywhere. Don't try and take on something. And I guess what I got from that acronym is what I found is when I'm hungry. I'm a lot Unnice to be with, right? I'm angry.
When I'm lonely, my anger quotient goes up. When I'm tired, you don't even want to go there. Right? And so I just want to encourage you, some real practical learnings. About the Your AQ, your anger quotient is going to be...
Your environment That's what we talked about here. Plus, your perspective, we'll look at that in just a second. That's times obedience to 426. is in real life, these are things that will minimize the stress. and help you with your AQ.
The E is you minimize stress. To get the right perspective, you want to maximize God. You want to get a high, clear view of God. Let me give you six things here to maximize or enlarge your perspective. This is what I call spiritual wisdom.
Number one, get right with God. Believe in him, confess your sins, and forgive others. If by whatever chance you're here and you don't know Christ personally, don't leave this campus until you put your faith in Christ, allow him to forgive your sins and give you a peace that's indescribable and a power that's within you. If you are a believer here, then take to heart, submit therefore to God, resist the devil, he'll flee from you. Submission, anything you know that God wants you to do.
Or to act on that you're not is called lack of submission. You want to say to God, All that I am, all that I have is yours. And if he's been speaking to you about dealing with anger, dealing with your marriage, dealing with an alcohol issue, dealing with prescription drugs, dealing with forgiving someone in the past, just do it. You'll be amazed. Things will submit, therefore, to God, resist the devil, he'll flee from you.
Then, notice, draw near to God, and he'll draw near to you. And then he talks about, well, what's it mean to draw near to God? Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. And then he's going to go on in the passage, in this passage later on, and talk about this is the picture of humbling yourself before God so that he can come and lift you up and help you. God is not an angry, mean God whose arms are crossed with a bony finger and a tapping toe that thinks you have messed up and you're messing up again and he wants to whack you on sort of your spiritual knuckles and saying get with the program.
He is not down on you. He loves you, he's for you, he died for you.
Now, certain behaviors and certain stiff arming of God will bring about what I call Hebrews 12 the velvet vice of consequences. He loves you so much that when you are living in a way that's contrary to your best and his word, he will begin to bring consequences into your life. And it can come in finances and relationships. It can come in your kids, it can come in your health. He just wants to say, hello.
I love you. And some of us, we keep thinking, why are all these things happening to me? Just stop. And say, is there anything in my life that needs to be realigned with what I know is true and the perspective that you'll get? and the peace that you'll receive.
Some people have someone that's wounded you. You just need the last line. You need to forgive them, release them. God's a fair judge, He knows all things. The reason we don't want to release people is, well, I'm taking them off the hook.
You're not taking them off the hook. Vengeance is mine, says the Lord. Tell you what, if God's absolutely fair and he's all wise and he knows all things, actual and possible, he knows why the person did it, what the circumstances were, you just say, God, I'll tell you what. Either I'm going to be the referee or you're going to be the referee. I don't know the whole story.
I'm going to give this person to you. And then here's what's helped me.
Now God's not. When I really have been really honest about stuff in me. I do not want to get what I deserve. I mean not at all. And we're going to talk about this later, but it is.
If I'm going to receive your mercy, Ephesians 4.32, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God also has forgiven you. But get right with God. Your perspective, your life. The a half-hearted, partially in, partially out. Relationship with Jesus Christ is the most miserable people on the face of the earth.
Just come clean. Experience God's unconditional love and acceptance. When you wake up in the morning, I have this picture, and I try and remember, and a lot of mornings, as soon as my eyes open, I have this picture of God looking down upon me and Him saying to this: The Lord personal God, Elohim, is in your midst. The mighty one will save. And that word save means he'll deliver.
It's not just save you from your sin. It means he's a deliverer. He'll help you. He'll take care of whatever you're facing. He will rejoice over you with gladness.
He will quiet you with his love. He will rejoice over you with singing. Is that your view of God? Is that how he feels about you?
Well, that doesn't come naturally to me. And so, one of the things that I do, and I don't know how it works, but Some of us believe that God loves us, but emotionally we don't even feel like he likes us. That's why it's hard to pray. A lot, a lot of Christians are like duty. I know it's right.
You know, like walking with God is like, you know, it's like castor oil. You know, it's really good for you. It just tastes terrible. You know? I know you're supposed to pray.
I'm going to pray down. Here's the list, man. Here's the list. Read the Bible. This is really fun.
You know? Get a little spiritual liver quiver just now and then. That's pretty good, you know. God wants you to experience His love. A lot of that goes back to how you were raised and some teaching you got and family background.
Now, this is bloated. with music. that causes my heart to remember how much God loves me. And almost every morning, part of my prayer time, there's two or three or four songs, and sometimes I just tell God, I just want to hang out. I don't want to get anything done.
If you want me to read something, let me know. I've got a program I usually follow. I just want to hang. And I put this on and I sing along with the songs and I just worship God. And all I can tell you is I get up, I feel loved.
You know when Teresa and I go out for coffee, it's not like, okay, what do you want to get accomplished here?
Okay, you want to get intimate?
Okay, I love you. Let me hear you say it. You love me too. Good.
Okay, we got that off.
Okay, um, plan for the day. Let's hold hands at 101. Great. Let's walk the dog and look up and say, Isn't it beautiful?
Okay, we'll get that one down.
Okay.
You think we can squeeze sex in here and make it real meaningful a little bit later? You know, that should be important, you know?
Now, I mean, some of us approach our relationship when I am with Teresa. I just want to hang. I just like being with her. I just like looking in her eyes. I like just walking in the park.
I like getting up at five in the morning when the moon's out and the stars are just coming out when it's cool and sitting out on the porch. and hearing all the birds. and sipping on a cup of coffee and just sometimes we'll sit quietly for 15 minutes. And sometimes we'll talk. I just, I like her.
I love her. I want to be in her presence. God wants you to experience that. There's multiple ways you can do that. You can take walks in nature.
But see, you got to slow down.
So this is helpful for me.
So that's a little tool that I use. A second tool for me is my view of God was so warped. But I have uh Read portions of this book for about the last 32 years. It's called The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer.
And I will never forget hitting the chapter on the goodness of God and reading: The goodness of God is that which disposes him to be kind, cordial, benevolent, and full of goodwill toward men. He is tender-hearted and quick of sympathy. In his unfailing attitude toward all moral beings, he is open, frank, and friendly. By his nature. He is inclined to bestow blessedness, and I love this.
He takes holy pleasure in the happiness of his people. How much? Do you believe that? Or are you always trying to measure up to something? He takes holy, when you're happy, God gets happy.
And then I love the line, he says, the whole outlook of mankind might be changed, if we could all believe we dwell under a friendly sky, and the God in heaven, though exalted in power and majesty, is eager to be friends with us. I will tell you, this is the P of perspective when you have a big God. and you have a big perspective, your problems get real small. And when your problems are small, you don't get so angry. It's not such a big deal.
God is good. God is powerful. I'm the object of his love. You know, he's got the whole universe under control, and I bet he can handle that business deal. He's got the whole universe under control and you know that he can handle what's happening with the economy.
He's got the whole universe under control, and you are the object of his affection.
So, experience God. You're listening to Living on the Edge, and Chip will be back to continue our series, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy, in just a minute. But let me quickly tell you, we are more than a broadcast ministry. We're passionate about supporting pastors globally, developing hopeful resources, and sharing the gospel with this next generation.
So if you'd like to partner with us in these areas, go to livingonthege.org.
Well, here again is Chip. Three, accept who God made you to be. Psalm 139, classic passage. He formed your inward parts. You're fearfully and wonderfully made.
His eyes saw your unformed substance. How do you learn to accept who you are? There's lots of tools. This is the one I'm using right now. I probably have about 30 of these, maybe 40.
I started in my last couple years of college. I don't think it's for everyone. If you don't do this, don't feel guilty. In fact, anything that I share that happens to help me that you think that doesn't work for me, then I would not do it. I have a sneaking suspicion, you're not me and I'm not you.
Yeah. I've heard lots of wonderful things other people do, and I think that sounds idiotic. That doesn't work for me. But I used to try it. I'm learning to accept me because I'm tracking the journey.
than I have with God. And it's not formal. And sometimes I make a list, sometimes I write out my prayers.
Some of them start out: God, I'm really tired, I'm really bummed out, and I don't feel like praying at all. But I thought I would check in. And here's what's going on in my heart. And what I realize is, the more I process life with him, and then I realize, you know, something? I was struggling with this.
two years ago and Wow. You know something? I really am changing. The grace of God is willing and working in and through me for His good pleasure. And you know, when you can't see it and you can't track it.
I mean, you know, S P 500, don't they track stuff? Dal, don't they track stuff? NASDAQ, don't they track stuff? Businesses, don't they have a quarterly report? Most of us have no idea where am I spiritually, where have I been, where am I going, and I wonder where I'm at right now.
And sometimes, like this is hard to believe, I know, I get really tired and really discouraged. And I just think, you know what, I don't think my life's going anywhere. I don't think God's used me at all. I don't think, you know, you know, the sort of condemnation journey. And I'll go pull out one of these from like five or ten years ago.
I think, man, this is a sorry dude that wrote this. You know? And that's as sincere as he could be. And I think, wow. And then I'll read, I was praying this outlandish prayer.
God did that. Yeah. If he did that for me, he sure must love me because I know who I am. And you know, it's just a journey. And by the way, most of these passages, I told you before it's been held, you can write them on a card.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Read them over. Read them over, pray them out loud to God. Your mind gets renewed. We want to maximize God.
Trust God in His sovereignty. Let Him be in control. I mean, this Isaiah passage: to whom then will you liken me? Or who's my equal? Lift up your eyes.
See who's created these things. He brings out their host, the stars by number. He calls all these, you know, 200 billion stars and behind it, 200 billion galaxies, all by name. Who can know the strength of his power? Not one of them is missing.
Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, my way is hidden from the Lord? Have you not known, have you not heard, the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary? His understanding is unsearchable. I don't mean I will never throw my brains in the trash and just say, oh, whatever. But I will do the most rigorous research I can, and I will study the scriptures, and I will.
Review everything I can get my hands on to understand all the what's and the whys of this life. And then when I get done, I just realize I don't know anything. And I have to entrust the mystery of this life and what God's doing in the world, in people I love, in me. And at the end of the day, I have to back it all the way up to this big, big P for perspective and say, He's good. He's holy, he's loving, he's wise.
He knows all things. I am the object of his affection. He has a good plan. I won't always understand it. And he is an absolute control and he's trustworthy.
That will give you a different lens to look through. You either tend to look at life through the problem, the 5% of your marriage or 10% you don't like, the part of work, the three or four things that are bugging you, and you tend not to look at the 97% of all the grace of God and all the things that He's done. When you look at the problem pretty soon, you look at people and everything through the problem, and you become an angry, resentful, not very fun sort of. Drinking the Lemon juice type Christian. Or you take that and you pull it back.
and you get a high, awesome view of God. and you don't say there's not a problem. But you see the problem in view of who God is. You maximize him. You minimize stress.
We covered this one. Be merciful. Just, you know, all I can tell you is as you read Luke 6: love your enemies, do good to them. God's that way. Let people off the hook.
Just give them an ally alley in free. Remember when you played hide and seek? You just need to do a spiritual alley all in free. I've hated your guts for 11 years. I've been envious you for ten.
You've been talking about me bad. Everyone knows you have. Alley alley in free, just taking you off the hook, wrote your name on a piece of paper, offered you to God, burned the piece of paper. I'm just done with that. Just let some people off the hook.
And the person that will get free. Is you. Finally, number six, pray about everything. And um we all, you know. Know this very familiar passage about not being anxious, but in everything by prayer and supplication, of making your request known to God and that great promise of His peace.
And prayer is hard for me. I think it is for most Christians. This little tool, it's called the Handbook of Prayer by Ken Boa. And what it does is it takes just scripture and it personalizes it, and it'll start with praise, renewal, petition, intercession, affirmation, thanksgiving, and just, I mean, you can just see there, it's short. But you can read out loud a little portion of God's word that's personalized, and it leads you, and then you can pray some thanksgiving.
And there's some time of confession and some renewal. And I don't do, like, I don't do anything every day. I mean, I read my Bible and I pray, but sometimes I read a lot, and sometimes I pray a lot, and sometimes, you know, but. You know, like I don't get up with Teresa every day and go, okay, now let's, we need to talk for 37 minutes, we need to walk for 14.4 minutes, we need to have two and a half meals together, and then we need to. In other words, what's the relationship need?
Let's get out of the three chapters keeps the devil away. Let's talk about a heart that hungers and thirsts for the living God. the pants to be in his presence. that longs to enjoy him. and discipline ourselves and blocks off time.
Not to fulfill a duty to check off a list. But to meet a God who is eager to be our friend. You get a High view of God. You will get small problems. or you get a different perspective on them.
And now we go back to where we were. Your anger quotient equals environment minimizing the stress. E plus P perspective maximizing God times. times. Oh, Obey, Ephesians 4.26.
Be angry. But don't say. Don't let the sun go down on your anchor. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and the message you just heard, Learning How to Stop Stress Before It Starts, is from our series, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy. Chip will join us in the studio to share some insights from today's talk in just a minute.
anger has always been seen as a wrong, unhealthy feeling. But what if I told you that this emotion is a signal of a deeper problem we need to be aware of? And if channeled correctly, anger could actually be used for good.
Well, in this 10-part series, Chip uncovers the root of anger in our lives and explains how we can turn our most intense frustrations into a valuable asset.
So if you're desperate to better understand this emotion and have control over it, you're not going to want to miss a single program.
Well, Chip's here in studio with me now. And Chip, before we go on, you wanted to share something with our listeners? Thanks so much, Dave. I know a lot of people pray and support the ministry because you hear of exciting new things that we're doing, whether it's in China or the Middle East or working with pastors. But I'd like you to consider something else.
The Bible is very clear that where you are spiritually ministered to, there's a moral responsibility to financially support. That's not me, that's the Apostle Paul. And you know, there's about a million people every week that are hearing God's word, and God is using the teaching ministry of Living on the Edge to help Christians grow in Christ-likeness, and that changes families and communities. If you're one of those people, would you pray about giving back? If indeed Living on the Edge is ministering to you and helping you grow spiritually.
It's just a principle that I think is very important. Would you pray about it and do whatever God shows you to do? Thanks, Chip. As you prayerfully consider your role in this ministry, I want to remind you that every dollar is significant. When you partner with Living on the Edge, you multiply our efforts and resources in remarkable ways.
To give a gift, go to livingonthege.org or call us at 888-333-6003. Again, that's 888-333-6003 or go to livingonthege.org. App Listeners Tap Donate.
Well, with that, here again is Chip. As we close today's program, maximizing God will greatly reduce stress in your life. I went through a number of very specific things very quickly. If you need to see those and get some help, go to the website livingonthege.org and you can download the notes for free.
Now, under each one of those things in the book, we actually develop very specific ways and tell stories and show you how to do it.
So, if this is helpful, that might be a tool. But just for our purposes today, let me just remind you of the HALT: H-A-L-T. When you are feeling hungry, Angry, lonely, or tired, know that you just got to stop. Don't make a big decision. If you even feel mildly tempted, just realize halt, stop.
That's when really good, really godly people do very stupid, sinful things. That one's worth the whole day today. I remember when someone shared that with me, it was like, wow, I've been in airports, hungry, tired.
Someone jumps in line. I feel the anger, and I just realize, wait a minute, Ingram, halt. Just hot. Father, I pray for those under overwhelming stress that you'll help them today to halt. to stop.
to pray, to take five minutes they don't think they have and to open the Psalms and read them out loud and tell you how they honestly feel. And I pray that you would calm their heart and give them perspective. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Thanks, Chip.
Hey, before we go, if you'd like to get plugged in with any of the resources for this series, visit livingonthege.org. There, you can download Chip's message notes, check out our small group study, or listen to any part of this series. We want to help you grow in your walk with Jesus, so visit livingonthege.org today.
Well, from all of us here, I'm Dave Druy, thanking you for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge, and I hope you'll join us again next time. I'm not sure if I can do it.
