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February 15, 2022 7:00 am
Dr. Michael used to help unforgiveness invite any right into your relationships on forgiveness is that he comes in and he pictures enough to threaten your mind from rare. He tries to conquer other areas in your life by continuing anger, uncontrollable lust, hateful, hard selfishness on the list goes on and on and on.
Welcome to leading the way with pastor and author Dr. Michael you sent you for joining as he continues in audio series of practical content that will help you experience marriage the way God intended it. He's called this series crafted marriage God's way and as you heard A look at forgiveness and how inviting forgiveness into your life can infuse relationships with life and victory. Hey, and in case you can't stay with Dr. you set for the very end of this message.
Remember that you can always listen email@example.com or get information about leading the way's mobile app and podcast. Now here's Dr. Michael you set to begin his life impacting message that I want to talk to her about forgiveness and marriage, and so done with reprising your Bible to Matthew chapter 18 verses 21 and wanted to vent.
A come to Jesus and asked Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against my up to seven times.
Jesus answered our tell you, not seven times, but 70×7. I want to give you the summary of what Jesus was saying in a very short sentence. Jesus is saying that you forgive until you lose count. That's really what the Hebraic seven-time 70 minutes until you lose count.
This message is not going to be about the usual subject of forgiveness and the importance of forgiveness. I want to talk about the anatomy of forgiveness, the anatomy of forgiveness, because when you understand the anatomy of forgiveness. You pretend to develop the ability to start losing counts and forgiving everything up count of all now want to share with you three ways by which you can begin to develop the ability to lose count or not even count all particular and forgiving your spouse and they all start with the I at back then significant arrest then compatible attain to your true identity is look at this very quickly at back then significant in the song of Solomon chapter 2 verse 15.
Solomon's wife make a very intriguing statement to say the least, very intriguing that maybe the two catch for us is speaking to her husband catch for us the foxes, the little foxes. The Truman the vineyards our vineyards that are in bloom. What is her deep concern here and why she is asking her husband Solomon to catch the small foxes. Her biggest concern. Her deepest concern is that little foxes that creep into the vineyard to broken fences if they are not stopped dead in their tracks, there was slowly destroying the marriage vineyard in the right place little foxes all major hurricane.
Both can destroy the harvest. Both can cause huge damage to the harvest foxes will do it slowly hurricane will do it all at once. The result is the same. The danger of the damage is the same distraction right but when you train yourself with the power of the Holy Spirit that dwells in us to forgive each other the small offenses you will avoid both the hurricane and the small foxes. I know it's a mixed metaphor, but is only I can think about question, especially for young couples do you know what I'm talking about when I talk about the small things in other irritating things.
The annoying things over the annoying characteristics. The aggravating traits you see when you forgive these things as soon as they appear. You avoid building this invisible wall that can have equal results when a sudden knowledge of a major friends takes place.
I know some of you are probably asking Michael, are you equating these irritating things these aggravating things in marriage to the breaking of the marriage vow. Great question and answer, of course not, of course not. But if you begin practicing forgiveness with the little things with the small things then when God spoke a big one hits you already have been in training for forgiveness and again I want to emphasize, because I know from past experience, everybody wants to hear what they want to hear regardless of Michael said you see I am talking about an occasional failure and talk about an occasional breaking of the marriage vow.
Talk about an occasional sin.
I'm not talking about a continuous in a deliberate sin and the refusal to repent of that sin.
The Bible said Jesus said in Matthew 19 when that continuous adultery takes place and no repentance or conflict of repentance or showing up the marriages that so what are the sum of these little foxes. The list is so long it would take me the rest of the day to go through but I'll give you since just some examples, you know, and whether you are the person who squeezed the toothpaste tube from the bottom of from the middle and it goes all the way to the dreaded toilet seat Army. It draws from whether you are a neat person or messy person all the way to the thermostat temperature in the house that are intended up there with Canada and onto all these little foxes again list is just endless.
All these little foxes that nor you know what I mean they nor their way into a marriage relationship. Everything not dealt with by genuine forgiveness.
They can grow into being a big's things and come to a head. If and when God forbid a big one hit on realistic enough to know that when a spouse betrays a marriage vow. There is a far deeper level of forgiveness than simply those irritating things that I talked about another, and the level of forgiveness depends on the level of repentance and change of heart. They brought just remorse or temporary remorse and crocodile tears and then continuing in that betrayal will require forgiveness. Yes, we must forgive even in our hearts without the person even confesses of repentance. After forgive because recommended to forgive because Jesus forgave us we don't have an option but to forgive but listen carefully, not necessarily restoration, not necessarily becoming buddy buddies not necessarily be close friends and even then it will take time for emotional healing to take place. And even then the scars may never go away. But healing and restoration of the trust can take place.
Depending on the level of repentance and God's healing help in his power. That is why I said at back the insignificant. The second thing I want to tell you is arrest the incompatible was at me. What is an interest incompatible well, it means that once you forgive, and you let go of the hurt you need to learn what the word of God said in second Corinthians chapter 10 verse five. You have to understand that the let it sink deep into your heart is with the word of God said, you keep on taking captive every thought and make that thought to be obedient to Christ. The McGivern illustration operator got a little forget it okay. You must always remind yourself that you are if you are a child of God you are in the state of war. The moment you forget that you are in a state of spiritual war you get into trouble. I know that happens with me. So, remind yourself constantly. You are in a state of war. Where is that battlefield of that war in your mind, and our enemy knows that if he can conquer some territories in your mind. If you can conquers that, then he will be able to create a beachhead from that beach had he not only harasses you, but he also start taking on other territories to occupy unforgiveness is that incompatible thought for the believing spouse unforgiveness is the enemy's tent that he comes in and he pitches enough territory in your mind from their he tries to conquer other areas in your life like continuing anger, uncontrollable lust, hateful heart selfishness and the list goes on and on and on but all of these thoughts need to be arrested immediately. They are incompatible with the believing spouse how when you start with the original landing strip of the enemy when he comes and you start with that, then you gonna find it is easier to clean all the rest of it and kick him out of the rest of the territories. So instead of allowing the enemy of unforgiveness to hold you hostage.
You take that unforgiveness as a prisoner of war instead of allowing unforgiveness to imprison you, you will handcuff unforgiveness and give them the general Jesus instead of you getting behind bars of unforgiveness. You will become the sheriff in town and you arrest unforgiveness arrest that thought. Listen to what Paul said in Ephesians chapter 4 verse 31 and 32 in your understanding the structure of sentences. The most important comes lust and so if one is the root that's always lost the fruit first 31 is that territories from which Satan expands verse 32 is really the original landing strip. Ephesians 431 and 32 get rid of all bitterness and rage and anger and brawling and slander, along with every form of malice where this all this come from verse 32 is be kind and compassionate to one another and here comes, forgiving each other, just as in Christ Jesus, God forgive you see the first landing strip in the first character he occupies is the unforgiveness and from there he expends all the others and from my personal experience I find that the enemy attacks me in two ways. First, I would be sitting down in peace, minding my own business and he comes through the flesh and pushes my mind how by bringing past hurts and past anger and past resentment into my memory.
Things that I know I have taken care of long time ago.
I've placed under the blood of Jesus. The second way is that he leads us slowly down the wrong pathway and he doesn't step by step by step and before you know I'm in the wrong place right here in the battlefield and ongoing unforgiveness directors how to fight back. The only way I know how to fight back and retake territory from him is immediately called on my commander-in-chief and say hello. Then immediately aim our weapons at the enemy by immediately start praying for that person who wronged me, that person who have may betray the trust that person who hurt me deeply. That is the only way I know that is the only way I found that I can succeed by taking every thought captive to Christ. When I arrest and handcuff unforgiveness and give it to general Jesus attack the what the insignificant arrest. The what the incompatible attain to your true identity, but it's natural human reaction to those who hurt us. It is absolutely natural reaction to those who betrayed us in marriage relationship or any relationship is revenge.
I don't get mad I get even heavier that, but to the believing spouse.
This reaction longs to the old nature.
It belongs your life in my life before Christ came in and gave me his grace and his forgiveness and his restoration. It belongs to what the Bible called the flesh and the lower nature. It belongs to the time before I have experience the indescribable forgiveness of my sins from the hand of Jesus, you know, one of the great blessings of living a little longer, is that you are able to look back in hindsight you see things that you never thought you going to see because you realize now after you been through this.
This was only temporary, but this was only a brief time in the long run. God's justice will prevail. Even though it might not be on your timetable. It will not be as soon as you wanted and sent his mother as soon as I wanted. But God will have the last words. That's what he says vengeance is mine says the Lord. Amen.
So trust God. He woke slowly, but he will work well. Vengeance is mine, you practice forgiveness and let him exercise justice.
Why is that because we need to remember that we too offended a holy God that we too betrayed a covenant with Christ pre-to have been unfaithful to the Lord, that we too have wounded the heart of Jesus and yet every time we compliment confession. Every time we come to him in repentance every time we return to him.
He extends forgiveness to us and so he doesn't only do it seven times he doesn't even do it 70×7. He keeps on doing it keeps on forgiving for the rest of our lives until we see him face-to-face and have the truth is our sin of unfaithfulness to God might cost us some blessings you notice what I said may cost us some blessings, but nonetheless he will extend forgiveness. Every time you asked for.
Every time you asked for to extend. He does not count. He does not add up your Syrians have lost count long time ago when I was a young Christian I would hear the preacher say God forgives and forgets genuinely. I used to think that God has a case of amnesia know what the word means is that he doesn't count against us. He doesn't count against us. That's what the Bible said forgets attain to your true identity in Christ. I want to tell you this, as I conclude that I want to tell you something if I've lost you. I'm going to plead with you focus with. I'm going to say no because if you forgot everything I said I don't want you to forgive on them to tell you now forgiveness is both an act and a process and illustrate this is very important memo when you bought a house and he was so excited about buying a new house you young and you both excited that you bought this house but at the same time you get sweaty palms, thinking about the mortgage payment every month.
Right you are delighted of this act of buying this lovely place. Then comes the monthly payment of the mortgage and have to come up with now the house is yours by delivering it all but you also keep paying the mortgage and the same why the active forgiveness. You remember the very moment that you said I forgive so-and-so I yes I am going to forgive the problem. Forgive my stress I will forgive the person becomes a problem. Over time, specially when you spiritually down and that anger begins to rise again and then you convince yourself – I'm a funny person I did. I said I forgive the person why am I feeling that what why am I not forgiving that person what happens you love yourself of guilt you love yourself. We should love the Lord with things that don't belong to you because in your mind you thought you did this. How come you still dealing with in the same way when you come to Christ when you repented of your sins and said, Lord Jesus come into my life I receive your smell of the Savior and Lord, forgive my sins. I repent God says that moment your been justified with Christ you become a new creature in Christ. You receive the forgiveness of Jesus, past, present and future you been forgiven, but then comes a time when you fall and fumble in sin, you come back to him and he forgives you again and again and again to see.
Forgiveness is a walk and act in a process and if you don't remind yourself of this. You even get into trouble. Jesus forgave us when we come to him.
He keeps on forgiving us, you forgive your spouse and you keep on forgiving. As I said the reason many people live in pain and guilt and shame and are burdened is that they go through the act of forgiving to go through that act and then genuineness company. But then there come times when they don't feel that there forgiven the person and so they burdened themselves. I don't want you to be burdened. I want you to understand that is both act in a process and when you understand that you will keep on forgiving you will know how to deal with the feeling of unforgiveness wanted rises its ugly head in your life is the Lord, you know I forgave this person.
I forgave my spouse. But today I forgive again and as I said in early in the message you begin to pray for the person bring to pray that God will bless the person and God will heal you in the process now try what I'm just saying here now just for seven days okay tried for seven days then extended for seven mornings pray to God. God bless my spouse bless this person that has wrongly bless extended seven mornings then extended seven mornings then extended seven more days, then extended seven more times to reach the point where extension is not necessary that experience of her becomes a memory. Unforgiveness Ryan supreme.
This is leading the way with Dr. Michael used to ponder those key points as they relate to your relationships attack arrest and detain the hard questions about what you heard today, money, and I need to speak with a member of the leading the way pastoral team, no matter the topic.
We are happy to work through it with you in light of God's word. Just visit LTW that org/Jesus never flying time is coming and we have to say goodbye. Allow me to challenge you to listen to a powerful podcast featuring Jonathan Yousef, the youngest son of Dr. Michael used to broadcast is called candid conversations with Jonathan, you set in spite of his vision to reach many more people with the truth of the gospel.
Dr. Yousef commissioned Jonathan to explore the many cultural and life challenges of today finance through the lens of biblical truth. He speaks with trusted voices tackling topics like family intake and sexuality and suicide, and education and some much more. Get the details when you hit the listen link) LTW.org or you can search for candid conversations with Jonathan yourself on your favorite podcast platform that's broadcast for the day and if you ever have any questions or viewing order products from leading the way we'd like to support the ministries of Dr. Michael you Seth. Please reach out 866-6264 356.866 626-4356 or LTW.org, LTW.Borg that that they do join Dr. Michael yourself once again.
Next time for another edition of leading the way. I this program is furnished by leading the way with Dr. Michael you sent