George Washington And The Outhouse

You know, since it's the 4th of July... Now the fun begins! Now it's time to play Shenanigans! Ah, yes, yes, yes.

For those of us who grew up in the 60s, you know what that sounds like. Well, I got a special treat for you today. Since it's the 4th of July, rather than have my normal dad jokes, I have a long format 4th of July dad joke.

Or whatever. It really is a dad joke in its own way. You may have heard this, but probably not, because it's a rare story, but I did find it recently. It's called George Washington and the Outhouse. Have you heard that, Cameron? No. Have you heard of it?

I know you're with Christian History Institute. You're probably familiar with it, right, Matt? It does sound familiar. So once, in the 1820s, a little boy named Sam, not coincidental to uncle, you know. But anyway, at this point in time, his name was Sam, a little boy, and he was playing a game in the backyard, and during his pretend fighting game, he knocked over the Outhouse.

This was the 1820s. They didn't have bathrooms out there. So Sam was upset and worried that he would get into trouble, so he ran into the woods and he didn't come out until after dark. And when he arrived back home, his pappy was waiting for him, and he asked suspiciously, Son, did you knock over the Outhouse in the afternoon? And pappy, no pappy, Sam lied. Sam, he told a lie.

I cannot tell you that I turned over the Outhouse. And so his father said, Well, son, let me tell you a story. Once, long ago, Mr. George Washington received a shiny new ax from his father. Excited, he tried it out on the tree, swiftly cutting it down. But as he looked at the tree with his dismay, he realized it was his mother's favorite cherry tree. His pappy paused for effect, you know, and said, Just like you, he ran into the woods. And when he returned, his pappy asked, George, did you cut down the cherry tree? And George answered his father, said, I cannot tell a lie. I did indeed chop down the cherry tree. And his father said, Well, since you were honest with me and you spared me from your punishment, I will spare you from your punishment since you're honest, right?

I hope you've learned your lesson. That was George's dad, right? So then Sam's father asked him again, Son, did you knock over the Outhouse? Well, pappy, I cannot lie anymore, said the little boy.

I did indeed knock over the Outhouse. Well, then his pappy father, you know, spanked Sammy boy red, white and blue. It was an American thing to do. And the boy whimpered. Pappy, I told you the truth. Why did you spank me? George's father didn't spank him. And pappy answered, That's because George Washington's father wasn't in the tree when he chopped it down.

Unforgettable, right? So that you wonder what happened with Uncle Sam. There you have it. So with the end of all those shenanigans, you know, I would actually have a riddle. We have a riddle, which is why are there no Fourth of July knock knock jokes? OK, that's our actual riddle today. Why are there no Fourth of July? Since it's a Fourth of July show, I can do this. Why are there no Fourth of July knock knock jokes?