Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast today. Our desire is for the Word of God to be spread throughout the world so that all may know Christ. Join us now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church located in Kernersville, North Carolina.
I want you to see this. Now, a very familiar passage, Ephesians chapter 4. Let's go ahead and read it again. Verse 26 says, be ye angry and sin not. God never said don't be angry. I don't know why people get confused about that. I'm very relieved about that when I drive.
I am very relieved. God never says that we can't be angry, just don't shove them off the road. You know, that's the difference. God never said don't be angry. Well, listen, God knows how we're made. Certain things are going to make you angry, but our response to that anger is either in a sinful way or a spiritual way. Okay, so he says, be ye angry and sin not, but notice as we go down, well, and let not the sun go down upon your wrath, which means if you let it stay there, it's just going to fester. Now, notice verse 30, grieve not the Holy Spirit of God whereby ye are sealed under the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you. Notice verse 30, and grieve not the Holy Spirit. Now, I want to read you another verse. Hebrews chapter 12, verse 15.
It'll be on the screen for you. Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God. Now, you know this verse, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you. Trouble you.
Now, notice the end. And thereby many be defiled. So what we know is, please get this, resentment causes grief to others, many will be defiled. Grief, it causes grief to you, it troubles you. And notice in Ephesians, grieve not the Holy Spirit of God. Literally, resentment causes grief in you, in others, and even in the Holy Spirit of God. Resentment causes grief, the grieving of resentment. Now, in Ephesians chapter 4, Paul tells us how to deal with this.
And I know you know the passage, but let's look at it from the mind point of resentment. First thing is the first three things that Paul mentions are internal, the next three things Paul mentions are external. And what happens is once the three things show up internally, nobody can see those yet. The outside can't see that, but what's going to happen is the next three things are going to come out, and that's when people do see it. So resentment starts before anybody ever sees it.
You're the only one that really knows what's going on. So let's look at this tonight. Notice number one in internal, notice what he says in verse 31. Let all bitterness, notice a little bit later in the verse, be put away from you. So he gives us some things that are to be removed from our life. The first thing is bitterness.
Let all bitterness be put away from you. Now this word that Paul uses here in Ephesians 4 is a word that describes the unpleasant, piercing taste that certain foods leave in your mouth. That ugh, that bitterness. And that's literally the word Paul uses here. We're not even just talking about a person that's just angry, we're talking about literally he uses a word that you eat something and it just ugh catches you wrong. And what often causes that when somebody does something to you or says something to you and it ugh, it just catches you wrong.
It's that it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. It's the feeling that comes into your soul every time you think about what they did. Anybody understand where I'm going? Say amen tonight. Anybody have a clue what we're talking about here? It's happened and now when we replay it, we're fine.
In a random time during the day, you could be playing with your kids and man, you're just out here cooking on the grill. Hey, I can't wait. All of a sudden your mind will go to what they said and it just like ugh. That's bitterness.
It creates a bitter reaction. Second thing he brings up is wrath. Now this is internal.
People don't necessarily see this yet. This is on the inside. Notice second is wrath.
This is on this inside. Let all bitterness and wrath, he says, be put away from you. The word that Paul uses here is a word that describes the burning of an offering to an idol.
What? As in this case, it's to describe a sudden outburst of emotion, a strong, hot, burning indignation. It's the emotion that Paul warns us in verse 26 not to let the sun go down on.
It means this, that what they did causes that bitter reaction. Now we replay it and that bitter reaction eventually goes to where we're just hot. It's burning us now. It's now not just bitter, it's burning. Bitterness is bitter, wrath is burning.
Now we're burning on it. And you all know what I'm getting at. The way I've always described it is when if, and I try not to lose control and things of that nature and God's been good about that. I was natured more like my mom anyway than my dad.
I mean, my dad can go from zero to 100 in about one second. Okay. And it takes a while for me.
And I understand that. But he ever had something that happens and you can just feel the words getting ready. It starts here and it just burns. It's just almost like, you know, when you're getting nauseous and you think that you might vomit. You know how that you can just taste it just all of a sudden you can just all of a sudden feel like, hey, I'm getting ready to spew out something here and I'm probably going to regret it. But it feels really good when you say it. And then you go back home and the Holy Spirit begins to work on you.
It's a miserable experience. Wrath burning. You see, bitterness turns to wrath. Notice third, wrath turns to anger. Verse 31, let all bitterness, wrath, and anger be put away from you.
Now the third thing that comes out that starts on the inside is anger. So bitterness, wrath, anger, this is all stuff that goes on on the inside. This word is meant to describe the long settled agitated feeling that is the product of unresolved bitterness and wrath. Bitterness leads to wrath, wrath leads to anger, and they all feed one on another. Listen, I get bitter, that turns to wrath because I've just left it there and God says don't let the sun go down on this one or it's going to get worse before long. Now I'm angry and my anger is fed when every time I hear the name, every time I think of what's happened, there comes that bitter feeling again and that causes the wrath all over again.
Now my anger is hot again. These three things are resentment. Bitterness, wrath, and anger are the three ingredients that are called resentment. Resentment is not a Bible word, these are just the three ingredients of resentment.
That's what's going on here. When a person is resentful, there is bitterness involved, there's wrath involved, there's anger involved. And these internal actions lead now to external actions, these inward expressions of resentment turn to outward expressions of resentment. Paul mentions three of these. Now, a lot of these things on the inside people can't detect, but these three coming up, it's pretty easy to see.
Be external. Number one, he says, is clamor. Verse 31, he says, let all clamor. Obviously, bitterness, wrath, anger, and then he says clamor.
All these he says in that verse to be put away from you. This word clamor is a word for what we call brawling. It comes from the Greek word for crying out. It describes literally a horrible kind of shouting match in which the inward resentment comes out in the form of harsh, loud, angry words. Like when somebody just cusses somebody out or loudly saying things that should never be said. A lot of times what happens is a person will just lash out and the person says, boy, they really have a temper problem. It's not just that. They have a bitterness problem. And they have an anger problem. They have a wrath problem.
Okay? And it's just finally coming out. And a lot of times when your mate lashes out at you, it's not because what you just did, all of a sudden now they're just angry.
No, no, no. This started a long time before what you said. It started a long time before what just happened.
Stuff's been building. I mean, you did something along the way where there's just ugh. That bitter reaction.
Like when you drink something that's like ugh. And your attitude, your spirit, your words, it begins that. And then they chew on that. And then they think about that. And then things build and all of a sudden it finally comes out. That is clamor. Outburst. Like you take, we would say the word clamor, it's like you take pots and go bong, bong, bong. Yeah, I could do that tonight. I didn't do that thing, you know, be thing.
I really thought about, hey, let me do a little illustration here tonight. Just get two pots and start banging them. That drives you crazy. But that's what clamor is. It's just noise. You see, when you begin to argue like this, you get no arguing done.
You get no solution made. It's just noise. You get a husband and wife just hollering at each other.
Nothing's being accomplished. It's just clamor. It's just noise. Second, he says, is evil speaking. Verse 31, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you. The word that Paul used here is one that's very familiar to us. It's the word for blasphemy.
Except it's not necessarily, here's what's interesting. It's the same word root, the same Greek word here used for blasphemy. But we're not blaspheming God. We're blaspheming an individual. We're speaking evil of a person. That's what he's talking about here. It's name calling.
It's railing. It's reproachful words. And we're doing it at somebody that is made in the image of God. It would be the kind of thing that Jesus described in the passage we looked at earlier where calling somebody an empty head or a fool literally earlier in this passage. Jesus said that when you speak evil of a person, listen to me.
He said it's literally a form of murder. Now, thems are strong words. So clamor turns to evil speaking. Clamor, we start now we're just mad. We start letting each other have it. Well, what happens when you start letting each other have it?
It's going to grow to where? Now we're going to start trying to hurt each other. Are we having a marriage conference tonight or are we having church? I don't know what we're doing here tonight for sure.
But the principles are true. What's going on now? Well, now I'm hurt and I was hurt already which is why I lashed out because hurts been going on for a while inside but nobody saw it. The husband didn't see it. The wife didn't see it. Your coworker didn't see it. Your kids didn't see it.
Mom and dad didn't see it but there's hurt going on. So now I'm finally clamors coming out and I've already been hurt so now when I'm clamoring now I'm going to start trying to hurt back because I've been hurting for months over this. And I'm finally letting it out so I'm just going to hurt you.
Number three. Don't you love the Word of God? He says that all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you. Well, that's bad enough but then he gives this little thing at the end. All malice. Oh yeah, with all malice.
That needs to be gone too. Paul adds all malice which is what? It's a mean spirited attitude. It's an attitude that says I'll get even at you for this. Now none of us, we feel like we're too grown up to say that but trust me, in marriage and in all kinds of personal relationships, that's exactly what we do. I'm going to get even. We know how that goes on in marriage. I'll tell you how a wife gets even with a husband.
The Bible says it's wrong. That's what we do. You're like, well, I would never say, well, I'm going to get even with you. Well, that sounds like you're in third grade. So we just don't say it.
We just play those games that do it. Are you with me tonight in the Baptist Church? Just because this is convicting to all of us, it's still the truth.
Let's say amen to this. I'm doing it with a smile. I'll make you pay. I'll hurt you for what you've done to me. We might not say those things out loud but that's malice. All kinds of it.
Okay. It's resentment. Resentment begins on the inside.
Resentment is displayed finally on the outside. Now we've got an issue. So preacher, thank you for encouraging me tonight. This has been such a blessing.
Thank you for the positive words. Now how can we fix this? Well, that's why I love the Word of God.
Never leaves us hanging, does it? Now, number one, and I'm going to give you the point, but it's not really my point. According to this passage, the first thing we've got to do, number one, is to put off some things.
Number two is to put on some things. Now, you're familiar with that. I've taught and preached this for years. But there has been a few things that I've seen here that I really think I had wrong over the years. And I want to prove it to you. Now, on the screen, I want you to see in Ephesians chapter 4, where we're at, verse 22.
And you can look at it or you can look on the screen. Notice what it says, that ye put off concerning the former conversation, the old man, before we were saved, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lust. Be renewed in the spirit of your mind, that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness, wherefore putting away, lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. And I just want to give you those verses to show that this chapter is life-transforming principles.
But of all the life-transforming principles, they're all an active command. Put this off. Stop this. But if you notice in verse — that we're dealing with here in verse 31 — whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's different. Look at what he says. Look at verse 31, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamoring be put away from you. He never said put these away. He did it with everything else in this chapter. Take this off. Put this on.
Active command. But what he says here is this, literally, you are not made to be able to take these things out. You're going to have to let them be taken away from you. So if that's the case, who's going to do that?
Who do you think? The Lord's going to have to take this away from you. You know, I think at times we've been guilty of telling people you need to get rid of this, you need to get rid of this. We're not capable of getting rid of this. Now we can stop lying.
We can stop stealing. But we're talking emotions here. We're talking hurt. We're talking anger. We're talking wrath.
We're talking that literally what happened was wrong. That started this whole thing. And God says here, let me tell you, you can't just put anger out. You can't just put bitterness away. You can't just put that off. You're going to have to let that be taken from you.
You're going to have to let God over time get this out of your life. Now you say, well, I don't know if I agree with that. Well, let me ask something. How's it working out for you trying to take it away yourself?
Working good for you? Good. Good.
Yeah. Let's ask the people at your house. Let's talk to your wife. Let me spend a few moments alone with your kids. And I hope your kids are young because, boy, they tell the truth. I ought to get Brother David up here to tell some of the prayer requests that have been given in junior church.
Some of you would die. Pray for my mom and dad. They were arguing last night.
It got bad. David's like, OK, well, we'll be praying, all right? Anyone else? Let me tell you something. You and I many times are not capable of removing it from our life. It's still there because of us. We have to let God do this. Listen, I know it happened a long time ago and I know it's hurt and you've tried. But listen, it's just you're going to have to finally realize, God, this is just something that you're going to have to take away from me. But you are going to have to let it happen. You can't keep grabbing on and holding on to it. You're going to have to let bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking and malice. You're going to have to let those things be taken away from you. You need grace. And last time I checked, the Bible says God's grace is sufficient. So we have to put off, which means literally we have to let God take it off. But number two, we have to put on.
Now this is your responsibility. Look at verse 32, and be ye. Not let, be.
So this is a command. Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Verse 31, Paul says let this happen, but verse 32, he says make this happen. That's good. Boy, that's really good, preacher. Fantastic. Amen. What a pastor you are, man. Thank you, Terry.
Thank you. Listen, God says when it comes to this stuff, you're going to have to let it happen. But there's some things you're going to have to make happen.
Notice the first one he says that you're going to have to add to your life if we're going to get past this resentment thing. Number one, he says you're going to have to be kind one to another, and be ye kind one to another. He puts this in terms of behavior that we should show to each other in the church family. But obviously, because of that, it should be shown to every person, even your physical family.
I believe that this applies to us across the board. Be kind means to show the sort of behavior toward them that our Heavenly Father shows. We treat them like Jesus would treat them. You know what? Matthew 5, 45 says that Jesus causes the sun to shine on the evil and the good.
What does that mean? It means Jesus is kind to everyone. Do you know that Jesus isn't just good to you as a saved person? He's good to the lost people. You know there's lost people that grow crops and eat and God, listen, God doesn't, he's not just good to us, he's good to all.
But I'm going to tell you something, the great white throne judgment, that's going to change. So God treated everyone with kindness. Jesus here on earth treated everyone with kindness. I believe it's an across the board thing and may I say this, when we have allowed this inward resentment of bitterness, wrath, and anger and it turns to clamor, kindness goes out the window. Can we all agree with this tonight that if it gets to clamor, kindness is gone?
Can we just admit it? We are no longer being kind. Now pride has displayed itself and kindness is nowhere to be seen. May I say this, if we follow the principle that we are kind to everyone, clamor would never happen.
Evil speaking would never happen. Malice would never happen because we are following the principle that God said be kind once in heaven, so that almost stops everything right there. But he goes on to the second thing, he says be kind once in heaven, but notice secondly be tender hearted. Paul mentions being tender hearted toward them.
This simply means that we're not stone faced and tightened up toward them when we see them coming. We don't duck behind the aisle when they're at the store. I wish all of you could be a pastor for about a month, because you know, I'm like the least judgmental person you've ever seen in your entire life. You're just not going to offend me, you're not going to bother me, I'm not your judge of jury, I'm not your police officer, I love you.
I don't care. Listen, what you do, that's between you and the Lord, I'm going to preach the truth, I don't care. I'm going to tell you something, you go to a grocery store or whatever, Walmart, I stay away from Walmart. I mean I feel like sometimes I go into Walmart, I ought to just take an offering. I mean church people are everywhere, and you can just see them almost, I think they think like I'm not going to approve of what they're wearing, like I give a flip.
It's just I don't know what it is about when you're the pastor, you know, kind of a thing. But what we're talking about here is, listen, we don't want to get to the point with somebody that we hold so much resentment that we literally, that stomach turns if we see them. We're to be tender-hearted, not hard-hearted.
What does hard-hearted mean? They come in, there's this resistance already, there they are. Well God says, listen, we're going to stop this resentment thing.
Remember our theme verse? What does he say? He says that a brother offended is like a city that can't be taken. Because we're hard-hearted, we've got that prison cell around ourselves.
And he said, no, no, no, listen, we're going to have to break down those bars. It's going to have to, you're going to have to be tender-hearted. He says be warm and friendly and courteous to them.
Even be open towards them. Number three, I can tell this is going over great tonight. Number three, he says be forgiving. Now let me just say this, you're not going to be forgiving if you're not tender-hearted. You can't forgive and have pride at the same time.
It just doesn't work. And don't ever tell somebody, listen, please, you're going to embarrass yourself. Don't tell somebody, well, I just can't forgive them. What you're saying is, I'm too prideful. What you're saying is, I've got pride in my life, so I can't forgive. So just don't say that out loud, OK?
Trying to save you some embarrassment. Be forgiving. This might seem very hard, especially when it's somebody that's done something wrong to you. And not only that, when they've done something wrong and they won't admit it, and they don't feel like they need to apologize for it. I think it helps to know that this is not the normal word for forgive. This word here, forgiving, is a different word than normally when we see the word forgive in the New Testament.
It is more along the lines of being ready to grant free favor, to grant grace to someone. If they ever want to apologize to us, we'll be more than happy to accept it. But if they won't apologize, we still will let go of our resentment. Because forgiveness isn't about saying or acknowledging that you never did wrong to me. That's not what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is saying, I'm going to extend grace to you, whether you ask forgiveness or not. I choose to give you grace because God gave me grace. For some reason, we think if we forgive somebody, that means that we have basically acknowledged or were saying that they never actually did wrong, but they did wrong.
No, no, no. That's not what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is simply an extension of grace. That whether you apologize or not, well, I would forgive them if they apologize.
That's not what we're talking about here. He says, listen, if you're going to let go of this stuff, if we're going to get beyond this resentment thing, we're going to have to be willing to extend grace even when they don't even think they need it. Paul tells us to put this on, be ye tenderhearted, be ye forgiving, be ye kind one to another. May I say this? We don't always want to be kind, we don't always want to be tenderhearted, we don't always want to be forgiving, and sometimes it feels as if we're being fake. Being kind, being tenderhearted, being forgiving has nothing to do with how you feel.
It has everything to do with obeying what God told you to do. Thank you for listening today. We hope you received a blessing from our broadcast. The Kerwin Baptist Church is located at 4520 Old Hollow Road in Kernersville, North Carolina. You may also contact us by phone at 336-993-5192 or via the web at kerwinbaptistchurch.com. Enjoy our services live and all our media on our website and church app. Thank you for listening to the Kerwin broadcast today. God bless you.
