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August 10, 2022 6:00 am
Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast our desire is for the word of God spread throughout all me know. Join us now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church located in Kernersville, North Carolina legit attorney if you will to first Peter chapter 2 and or to hold your place and then you're going to turn to Ephesians chapter 4, Lord willing, you will not try to tell you what to do.
Just asking you first Peter chapter 2 and then Ephesians chapter 4 like to continue with our second part to the subject were speaking on today of the fact that God designed communication and a dear me, if you will do me this favor.
I would when pass these out and you just wanted each section on oh, late in the ballgame but this is for our couples trip and it gets a good day to do it because were speaking about marriage, but we pass it this morning if you were not able to sign up this morning but will I do December 27, 2020 ninth $200 per couple and $50 deposit is due by the first Sunday in November but sign up if you can go. Please if you can work this out is one of these things every time you have a trip like this to get people to go is like pulling teeth. Then when they go they love it when they get done like they were going to this next year. The next you're going to disciple. Indeed again, and we get the thing I know I gotta do this and I gotta do that make your marriage a priority. If you can come on this trip and would be a wonderful time of fellowship and instruction and think that you will just enjoy it to be a good time in the Lord say why don't know a lot of people perfect. This is the way to get to know them okay. First Peter chapter 2 in Ephesians chapter 41. Read your couple things. First, for we dig into the message tonight.
Still somebody this morning. My fear little bit with today and it seemed to go well this morning I had so many comments and people texting today, and sometimes what you're scared lock in a go over goes over better than other things, it seems sometimes but I didn't want everybody to feel like rendered to shown up in a marriage session. This is church but you know what this Bible is this Bible is instructing us how to be a proper bride of Christ. Marriage is a picture of the relationship you and I is the church have with Christ and his Bible teaches us how to be the right kind of Bryden and how to love our Savior like we should know the best thing about being saved is that you can communicate with God.
Anytime you want. And so the greatest picture of our marriage relationship with each other as we communicate is a symbol of how we communicate with Christ and so that's that's really the object of what were doing next Sunday morning will be speaking on the subject of God designed a difference and were going to talk about the male and female roles, and I hope that you will be there next Sunday morning when read this to you and that when you speak on marriage always come across things when you're researching and I thought this is interesting.
Barbara Walters did a story in Kuwait several years ago on gender roles, and I was reading this report from Newsweek, but I thought this was interesting. Let me just redo it. Newsweek said Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kuwait before the Gulf War. She noted that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.
Ms. Walters approached one of the women and said this is marvelous.
Can you tell the free world just what enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles the lady look at her and said landmines while waiting. Aren't you glad you're in America I thought is that a man was nervously while here in the supermarket when he crashed into another man's buggy watch where you're growing going snarl. The other man. I'm sorry.
So the first one. I'm really worried. I been looking for a life or 15 minutes me to set the grumpy man I'm looking for my wife to so so why don't we look for them together great ideal demands that what is your wife look like he said she's blonde, blue-eyed, has beautiful lips wearing a wonderful flowing red dress has beautiful I line and he said what is your wife look like in the guys that forget my wife let's go and find yours. They wanted to have the message. Absolutely nothing was just funny saw this five tips for women. It's important that you find a man that helps you in the house and has a job number two it's important that a man makes you laugh, number three, it's important to find a man you can count on and who doesn't lie to you. Number four.
It's important that a man loves you and spoils you number five. It's important that these four men don't know each other that's horrible. I'll get serious now how many of you ever see Paul Harvey to know that he's going to read some to you this isn't funny.
This is something true that he wrote in April 3, 1965 and I wanted to read this to you.
It's not real long but it's a little bit lengthy but I want you to understand what he said in 1965 and it says it's editorial that you can find online, and he entitled it. If I were the devil what he said was in this editorial. As he began his broadcasting career was this, he says I want to let you know if I were the devil. What I would do to America to ruin it. I want to listen to this party said if I were the devil I mean if I were the Prince of darkness. I would of course want to engulf the whole earth in darkness, I would have 1/3 of its real estate and 4/5 of its population, but I would not be happy until I and sees the ripest apple on the tree, so I should set about however necessary to take over the United States. I would begin with a campaign of whispers with the wisdom of the serpent. I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve, do as you please to the young.
I would whisper the Bible is a myth. I would convince them that man created God instead of God creating creating man I would confide that which is bad is good and what is good is square and the years of the young married. If I were the devil I would whisper that work is debasing that cocktail parties are good for you. I would caution them not to be extreme in religion and patriotism or moral conduct and the old, I would teach to pray. I would teach them to say after me. Our father which art in Washington. He said if I were the devil I'd educate authors and how to make lurid literature exciting so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting.
I threaten TV with dirtier movies, and vice versa. And then if I were the devil I'd get organized. I'd infiltrate unions and urge more loafing and less work because I don't hands usually work for me. I peddle narcotics.
To whom I could not sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction and I would tranquilize the wrist with bills.
If I were the devil I would encourage schools to refine young intellects but neglected discipline emotions let them run wild. I would designate an atheist to front for me before the highest courts in the land and I would get preachers to say she's right with flattery and promises of power I could get the courts to rule what I construe is against God, and in favor of pornography and thus I would evict God from the courthouse and then from the schoolhouse and then from the houses of Congress and then in his own churches, I would substitute psychology for religion and I would deify science because that way men would become smart enough to create super weapons but not wise enough to control them. If I were saying I'd make the symbol of Easter egg in the symbol of Christmas, a bottle if I were the devil I would take from those who have and I would give to those who wanted until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious and then my police state would force everybody back to work. Then I could separate families putting children in uniform women in coal mines and objectors and slave camps. In other words, if I were in Satan. I would just keep doing what I'm doing. That was in 1965, folks look at me, Satan's plan is to absolutely obliterate marriage. We sit in church and we say that's right. We believe we agree.
Amen. Then we go home and we watch our marriage decay. That's what's happening all across America. When you look at first Peter chapter 2 beginning in verse 21 for even hereunto were ye called, because Christ also suffered for us, notices freights, leaving us an example, that he should follow his steps who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth.
That's revenge, retribution, bitterness grew when he was reviled, reviled not again when he suffered, he threatened not but committed himself to him that judge of righteously who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness by whose stripes ye were healed now hold your place there to become back there just a little bit for sake of reference, but I want you to hold your place. Look at Ephesians chapter 4 just look at two verses here in verse 15 and 16, but speaking the truth in love, me say that again but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ that you got a listen closer to this verse, for whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supply according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love though that is a mouthful.
What is it say we been saved where in the body and we all should be working together you hear me should all be working together, we are the ones that a preacher got up and say bless God we are to get along with each other in churches. We need unity in church and we need to be together in church and God bless is when folks are together how great it is when brothers dwell together in unity we say amen but you know that is also true for didn't just say in the church it means in the home to folks, a lot of times were desperately trying to get unity in the church when there is no unity in the home and it's impossible we come home we come to church and we want to get all three sections in the balcony on one page and many times the two people sitting right next to each other on the pew are at odds with each other. God help us as we speak tonight. Father need your help.
Lord I pray that this would be helpful to our people in your name we pray. Amen in order to understand all this. I want to give you something tonight. I found this years ago and out when I begin, you know, and was taught about dating and different things and I want to give this to you to and I don't think I've ever share this in a message or with anybody but there are five levels of communication and it's the way life goes not just in dating relationships, but with other relationships do, and I want to give them to you tonight so that we can begin to understand this thing of communication number one there are five basic levels. Number one is called the frivolous level. What is that mean that is the communication that goes on almost between strangers between people that might not be strangers but really have no camaraderie other than the fact that they're just cordial to each other if I was standing at the back and made we had somebody visiting Corwin Baptist Church and they came by and I said hey how you doing I'm brother Daniel hi I'm so-and-so was good to meet you. That is a frivolous level. In other words, it is not a whole bunch of validity or meaning or heaviness to it. It's not like you're really giving each other your heart and soul. It's just it's just kind of surface fellowship right.
Second, there is the factual level.
That's how you proceed in friendship.
That's all husband-and-wife proceeds in your dating relationship.
It starts off with frivolous your first me. Somehow your beer beer paths cross and then it turns into the factual level. What is that that's when you begin to give each other facts. That's when you begin to get to know each other. Jeff Moran is down here. Well say I just met Jeff no sooner taught Lamisil Jeff what you do for a living and Jeff was a woman electrician. I do things.
What you do well pastor Corwin Baptist Church. What we done. We've gone from just that surface hey how are you being cordial to now that there is a little bit of an interest in the other person so it goes from from frivolous to factually begin to get to know facts about the other person. The third level is called the Fellowship level. That's after you begun.
You got the facts and you begun the Nola personal little bit better and then now because of the fact that you were given, you realize I like this person. I have things in common with this person and then that might be okay. Will Jeff I know you're like Tristan. I'm a preacher we know we don't really do a lot the same thing at a thing.
But are you a Christian and Jeff would say yes I'm I'm a born-again believer and I would say I am a born-again believer. I know I'm on my way to heaven. Now I know we have something in common and so that would turn the fellowship will Jeff is getting us bloodied sometime and let's spend some time or something like that. So you gone from frivolous to factual and then to fellowship now. What is hard at church. Sometimes is is there so many people that are somewhat scared or theirs to admit or shy or whatever but a personal joined the church and everybody is a frivolous level but what people often really desire from a church they want fellowship and dear friend listen at me like I want to get this, you're never going to get to the Fellowship level with anybody here at church until you put the time into get to know them thereby understand that what we expect. Sometimes we want to sit in the pew, and we want everybody to come fellowship with us. Their job pleasantly dear friend the Fellowship level only comes after the factual lever and you've got to give each other facts. It's a two-person game, you got it. You gotta exercise effort to get to know somebody and then they got exercise effort to get to know you and as you fine. Maybe some things in common.
Then you go to the Fellowship level. Then you begin to fellowship and it join each other's company in May. I challenge you.
This is nothing to the message, but different. It can't sit back and say well, nobody loves me. Nobody wants to listen. It's a two sided game jump and you say I tried. I know you try, but keep trying.
August people said the third. The fourth level is the feeling level. This is when you begin to develop feelings of this doesn't mean like sexual nature or send it could be opposite between a man and a woman. Maybe, you know, here's a here's a man that met this girl and and me and they begin the day.
Now to learn facts about each other and on a date and find out things in your water like her and I like what I hear and I like these things and then it turns into Fellowship level you like spend time together will then that turns into feelings and that's that's really the dating life man.
It started frivolous and then I got factual and then we begin to fellowship in a manner we begin to really start falling in love and then we begin to develop feelings for each other and then the fifth level is the freedom level that comes normally after marriage because now you have built such a bond you've known each other so long. You know so much about each other but you have total freedom with each other. It means that you can be yourself. That means that you have comfort in the fact I can go home and be myself not feel like I'm always judged about everything I can go home and just you know I love my wife. I love my husband growing up. You know my mom and dad. We live in a travel trailer, a small airstream travel trailer limitation grown up as as an only child I have freedom I'm in. I love being at home. You know why because it was uncomfortable sometimes to go to somebody else's house. Let's say I asked some you if you don't know me very well say would you come over my house. First off, don't do it because you have no idea what's going on my house men were medicating everybody and everything is great, but if I've you don't know me and I say come over my house. I know you would do many of you if you said okay you would come to my house you would probably be almost got a good behavior. If we don't know each other very well need more the house. It would be a little bit odd if you just commit hey I you know it is our goal to my drawers in my bedroom you know what you got a beer if you sit down, put your feet up on the table you know and say would you give me a drink was give me a lot you know why we haven't gotten that freedom level yet and we probably will. But what's warped about dating nowadays in relationships is often times they go from that frivolous level to immediately that feeling level they get involved primarily in relations are right.
They've never determined if they have anything in common with Christ or anything. And then they go right to that freedom level and they found out they never went through the factual level in the Fellowship level and what we have nowadays is is is a is a product many times of how dating has changed over the years in courtship has changed.
Now we have marriages that sometimes are at that freedom level and that the husband will I find that were not getting along. We don't have very much in common and that what people say is I just married the wrong one and you Satan red-hot you think it's possible to marry the wrong one. Yes, I do. But the moment you said, I do.
You are now married to the right one and you got everything you could do to stay together and if that don't work. You get everything you can do that got you put it under the blood and you go on with life and undertake some of you been through that so you been through divorce and you know exactly what it's like to take God's not done with you.
God can use you to do great things in your life. What I'm trying to do is you sitting right here. I'm not worried about your past and not worry about what's happened I'm trying to salvage and make sure we have strong families right here that's what I'm after I read this I thought this was good. The speaker at a woman's club was lecturing on marriage and she asked the audience how much of them felt like they had to mother their husbands. One lady in the back row raised her hand and the speaker said you feel like you have to mother your husband and lady looked at the speaker said mother. I'm sorry I thought you said's mother some wise would love to smother their husbands by love to have Slava McKillop what are some problems in communication, preacher, glad you asked. I believe number one we lack communication skills know oftentimes it's really not that a man and woman don't want to communicate. It's really not that they're not willing, they just don't know how.
And you know I don't always recommend things but you know at the end tonight and through this process on the recommend different books.
There's a lot of books that are good just because I don't recommend a book doesn't believe that we must not like that book I can't recommend all of them but may I say this if your desiring skills in communicating. One of the best books you can get was written by man lives in Winston, and he works over at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston, but Dr. Gary Chapman and I met him spoken with him that he and his wife, but he wrote a book the five love languages. Many of you have heard it if you don't have the skills to communicate get that book start there. Find out how to communicate with each other to see oftentimes is the fact that we just don't not know sometimes it's just I know how but I don't want to.
I don't want to put forth that effort but often times in a marriage is not that husband was not willing. They just don't know how.
Second, that you know what are some problems in communication. Second is self centeredness member what we read in first Peter chapter 2. The Bible says that these things that Jesus did, he did as an example that we should follow in his steps like a verse 24 who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree. I mean, Jesus was. I guess you would call it the antithesis of selfishness of self-centeredness. I mean, if anybody was unselfish and un-self-centered. It was Jesus, and oftentimes you and I we can communicate. You know why because the individual partners maybe water. Both are so self-centered that communication can't proceed.
Third reason is this unresolved problems or an unforgiving spirit so much we could say about that verse 22 and 23 of of setting up first Peter two that we just read it talks about how Jesus was reviled.
He was abused and yet he reviled not again when I read your verse.
If I could Hebrews 1215. Looking diligently lest any fail of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you and thereby many be defiled unforgiving spirit that can absolutely stop communication because I don't forgive you and I'm not gonna forgive you for what you've done to listen to me dear Fran I am not one that says that you need to forget it would be wonderful if you could let's be honest, and I preached on that verse and many of you commented that one time I preached on that and thank you for the Bible does not say that you have to forget it says when it comes up, deal with it, lest any root of bitterness. What is what is it say springing up.
That means it's going to spring up. That means when you get hurt somebody does something you it's going to come back up and it's going to come back up in your mind and there's going to be certain things that remind you of it. But when you are reminded of it. Once again, forgive because God's forgiven you. Number four problems in communication forces the distractions of life in first Peter chapter 2 that we River 25 it says, for ye were as she going astray, but are now returned under the shepherd.
This is what Jesus said about us. What is what is he call us.
She what are the characteristics of sheet cheaper done wire seemed dumb because sheep are easily led astray by every little thing that distracts them. You have a package.
Sheep somehow distract him and that she believe that full.
That's why shepherds have to keep them together is why the Bible says the 99 sheep that the Savior said he loves us so much that he would go after that one lost sheep you know why you and I get distracted so easily in life and often times we don't communicate with our mates because we have so many things going on in our life that our marriage takes a backseat to everything different. Look at me your marriage to be the front seat so you give my life to my kid you not to give him anything of your marriage falls apart you to give a met, that out of your priority number five. The difference of the temperaments that's often a problem in communication listen to me when you dated you were on best behavior and little things in somebody's temperament. What do we say we dated execute SKU when she does that she's feisty she'd be like oh he's just a big old bear yeah you get married, and that little thing that you saw just so cute You know why is cute because you are Justin you are just and loving you just couldn't wait to get married but then you got married and wouldn't you know more and oftentimes after you get married you find others things in temperaments that are different and their things and I went up because we can have a certain kind of temperament and a wife has a certain kind of temperament. They know coercively they don't cohesively get together.
It's not really easy and is not real simple.
It's complicated to have any communication number five. Oftentimes, we have problems in communication because of insecurity and fear. First Peter chapter 3 verse eight says that finally be all of one mind, having compassion, one of another. It oftentimes husbands and wives are don't communicate because they're scared of the scared of what might come out there, scared of what they might hear they're scared of what that might mean they have to do. They just rather leave everything the way it is and you know we don't get to talk communicate a lot, but at least were getting along ways we handle bars that you go where it is going to go honest to me, dear friend.
God did not save you to be status quo God has given you a victorious life through him. If anybody I have a good marriage. It ought to be born again Christian.
That ought to be us. You know why because not only should we just be good people, but we have Christ in our hearts and we are to live like Christ without a love each other like Christ loves to give you couple things. I'm almost done. How do we practice proper communication number one husbands need to learn to be more sensitive is all old operator you're jumping on the bed already, would immunity to learn to be more sensitive my live. Please learn to shut her mouth okay will get to that in a minute.
First Peter chapter 3 verse seven we read this to you men. Likewise you husbands, dwell with them, who your wives dwell with them according to knowledge notices giving honor unto the wife. As unto the weaker vessel that means man that you should be more sensitive to her. That means we should realize that you know what I don't treat my wife like a treat.
Some guy at work I will talk to my wife like I talked to somebody my wife is special and she, the Bible says that I am to treat her as the weaker vessel doesn't mean your wife is the weaker vessel. It means that you should treat her in such a careful tender way. Men often times we don't we don't we don't that were not sensitive to their feelings were not sensitive to their needs were not sensitive to their desires were just not sensitive and a lot of times is not because we don't want to be.
We just don't know how to be second is this that in order to have proper communication. Both partners have to deal with self-centeredness for listening to you receive the blessing from our broadcast. The current Baptist Church is located at 4520 Old Hollow Rd. in Kernersville, NC.
You may also contact us by phone at 33699351924 Kerwin Baptist Church.com enjoy our services live all Armenian honor website and church. Thank you for listening. Kerwin broadcast God bless you