Kerwin Baptist Church Daily Broadcast

Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast today. Our desire is for the Word of God to be spread throughout the world so that all may know Christ. Join us now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church located in Kernersville, North Carolina.

Hold on let me move this down here. The way God designed it. And in order for us to understand marriage and the family we've got to understand the way God designed it, what God had envisioned. And today, all day, this morning and tonight. And by the way I know that many of you we're just glad you're here and some don't come back on Sunday nights. I know there's always more people on Sunday mornings. And for those that are here thank you for being here. I want to encourage you if you don't normally come on Sunday night you ought to come for this because it really takes all day. We're going to get even in more detail this evening on the subject of God designed a difference.

And we've got to understand the difference between men and women in order to communicate, in order to get along, in order to have a God honoring marriage. And we're going to talk about that today. I wanted to show, do you have one of the Joey first Ben? Many of you remember a while back that Krispy Kreme offered that if you came dressed as a pirate that you got a free dozen donuts. You all remember that a couple weeks back? And everybody asked me if I did and I said no. This is Joey and Amanda Horne.

And I want you to see the product of this church. And they had to drive, Wayne how long did they have to drive to get to a Krispy Kreme place? Close to an hour. Dressed like a pirate driving for an hour just to get a dozen free donuts. Which a dozen donuts are what $8? $9? Something like that.

So they spent probably $25 in gas to get $8 worth of free donuts. That's our product here at Kerwin Baptist Church. I'm just picking. But this is, I thought, he sent that to me and I thought I wanted you to see that. We love Joey and Amanda. Always miss them. And I thought that was interesting.

Alright and then I did my part for the economy too. That was yesterday. Everybody picks at me at Krispy Kreme and I was gone all week so where did my boys want to go? They wanted to go to Krispy Kreme. I don't know where they get that but they wanted to go to Krispy Kreme. And I promised them I would show that here at church.

Alright Genesis chapter 2. By the way that's Caden's first trip to a Krispy Kreme restaurant. Really I don't know how you can't call them restaurants but I guess they are. An actual Krispy Kreme.

What do they call them? Shop? Establishment. Thank you. Wow.

Alright establishment. Wow. Goodness that's not an independent Baptist word. That's more like a non-denominational word. Wow.

Establishment. We're getting modern now boy. Whew. I got to tell you this real quickly. A couple weeks back, I had to wait for Brother Joe to be here to tell this. But a couple weeks back I went to the hospital to visit a young man off Scott's bus route.

He was having some surgery. We prayed for him here and mentioned him. And we went up to see him and Ashlyn and Sarah had worked on Scott's bus route and they knew this young man so they went with Julie and I. To go up and see this young man.

Such a sweet boy. And his parents weren't there but he had family that was there. And I believe it was a grandma and grandpa. And they're saved and go to a good church. And I forget the church it might be Freedom Baptist.

I forget where they go. But anyway we were in there and kind of meeting the boy and the dad, the grandpa obviously knew of Brother Joe, knew of Kerwin kind of a thing. And he said, so you are the new pastor at Kerwin Baptist Church? I said, yes sir I am. He said, so you taking over for Brother Joe? And I said, yes sir. He said, well what happened to Brother Joe?

And you know me, I just can't give up an opportunity. And he said, well what happened to Brother Joe? And I said, we don't know. He just went crazy in the head.

I said, nobody can figure out. I said he just started talking out of his head and I said they had to bring me in and kind of a thing. And what was amazing was his response. He said, oh okay. Like he could see that happening, you know what I'm saying? And I was thinking he'd be like, no, no way. He was like, oh okay, kind of a thing. And then I had to say, no I'm joking.

But I thought that was interesting so. Genesis chapter 2 and I want to ask you to, if you'll look up another place, hold your place in Genesis chapter 2 and then I want you to look up 1 Peter chapter 3. We're going to read in Genesis chapter 2 first Peter chapter 1 and then just one verse in 1 Peter chapter 3. But the verse in 1 Peter chapter 3 we're going to use throughout the entire day. And I want to encourage you if you can, try to plan to be here tonight.

It's basically a month work of marriage seminar and just a few Sundays. But you need to be here for that. Also choir, choir practice today at 5.30. So choir, I know.

But be here at 5.30. Genesis chapter 2 and then 1 Peter chapter 3. Let's begin reading in Genesis chapter 2 verse 19 first.

Very familiar passage. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them. And whatsoever Adam called every living creature that was the name thereof.

And Adam gave names to all cattle and to the fowl of the air and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found in helpmeet for him. Notice that in a singular way, in helpmeet. He didn't say in helpmeets. He didn't say a number of helpmeets.

He said in helpmeet, ok? For him. Look at verse 21, and the Lord God caused the deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept. And that's the last good sleep man ever got right there. What? What? What?

So calm down, calm down. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman and brought her unto the man and Adam said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother. Remember this was written to Adam and Eve who did not have mom and dad there. So God was saying that for our generations, for people to come. Why would He say to Adam and Eve leave father and mother and they didn't have father and mother to leave?

He's saying that to us. And notice this, shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife. Remember a few months back we preached on this passage the word cleave means to pursue and we as men ought to be pursuing our wives still even after marriage and they shall be one flesh and they were both naked the man and his wife and were not ashamed.

Father I pray you bless this morning in your name we pray, Amen. 1 Peter chapter 3 look at verse 7. Likewise ye husbands dwell with them, them who, your wives, and he makes that clear in just a minute, dwell with them according to knowledge giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together. That proves right there man's not greater than woman, woman's not greater than man. They are heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered.

Notice that phrase dwell with them according to knowledge. That means it is our job to figure out each other. It's our job to figure out our husbands, figure out our wives and husbands would say that's impossible. It's our job to work and try. And by the way us men can be as much if not more complicated. And so it's not easy on either the wife or the husband.

It's both of our jobs to work, to learn how to have a good marriage. Let me give you three things from this passage that we read in Genesis and we'll be giving some more things in a minute. But there's some things we learn from the creation of man and woman and how God created woman. Number one is this that God did not make a beast for Adam's companion. So we know that man and animal are not what's right, correct?

Wow, that was low. I thought everybody would say, Amen. That's just weird, alright. We know it's not man and beast. Secondly He didn't make another man for Adam. So God designed God's, listen to me, well it's our series, God's design.

We're not here to jump on anybody. God's design for the family was man and woman. That's a family under God. Third thing is this, He didn't give Adam two women. So polygamy is not God's design. Never has been God's design, okay?

So we know God's design is a man and a woman for marriage. You understand that. I want to give you this morning, some of you have heard these as we talk about man and woman and husbands and wives and how to get along the rules of the husband-wife relationship. I thought this was pretty good. Some of you have heard these.

But I want to kind of get us all on the same page. Number one is this, the female always makes the rules, number one. Number two, the rules are subject to change at any time without the female notifying anybody. Number three, no male can possibly know all the rules. Number four, if the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she will immediately change all of the rules. Number five, the female is never wrong. Number six, if the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong. Number seven, if rule six applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing this misunderstanding. Number eight, the female can change her mind at any given point in time. Number nine, the male must never change his mind without express written consent from the wife.

Wow, that was a weird reaction. Number 10, the female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. Number 11, the male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset. Number 12, the female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset. Number 13, any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm to the male. Men and women are different.

I think you all know that. But I think that sometimes we've got to get a little bit deeper to understand. And I've gone through book after book and as I was preparing for this and have been preparing for years, you know, you've got to study the difference of men and women. Let me say this right off the bat, that sometimes there's always exceptions. You can't say that every man is this way and every woman is this way. There are differences to that. There are some men that act different, some women that act different.

That's not what I'm saying. But on a whole, you've just got to understand the trends and how men are and how women are. And you say, well, why is this important? I'll tell you why, because marriage is absolutely falling apart in America and even in our churches. And I say this, every service is something that I have in the past couple of weeks, but it's my job as a pastor to deal with, number one, what God lays on my heart, and He's laid this on my heart.

Number two, it is my job as a pastor to deal with what I see is a problem in our church and in other churches, and this is. So, I want you to listen. As I was going I found some different books that describe the husband and wife in different ways. And I kind of put all these together, I thought this was interesting and did research under each one. And I want to show you these comparisons today as we talk about that God designed a difference.

Are you looking at me? Do you know God made us different? And there's a reason for that. Number one is what we would call the beauty and the beast comparison.

And 1 Peter 3 that we read it says that the husband should give honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life. Let me give you the facts here, okay? Women are physically weaker than men. Normally.

Now we know there are exceptions. We won't talk about that, okay? I don't think we have anybody here, but is there anything more gross than female body building? That's just gross. Okay, number two, I think men body building is gross. You ever seen that?

Veins popping out, okay, anyway. Number two, men are physically stronger. So, women naturally God designed them a little bit normally, physically weaker than men. Men are physically stronger. Men the Bible says are the provider and the protector. Men we talked about that. That God told Adam to keep the garden and to till the garden and to do that. Women are natural nurturers.

Now there's always exceptions like we said, but women are made to nurture. Now I went to Delaware and left Tuesday morning and I preached Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and came back home Saturday. Now my wife did a wonderful job while I was just taking care of three kids, a dog, and all kinds of other things and especially special needs and blah, blah, blah. And she did it for four days by herself.

She's just a trooper. Now if my wife had gone to Delaware for four days and I did all that, there's no way. It would have been a disaster. I mean kids wouldn't have eaten for eight hours. It's just, now if I had done it I know I would have had to.

I would have done it. Look at me, it comes more natural to a woman than it does a man. Women are nurturers. Now listen to this, there are physical differences and I want you to understand this 40% of a male's body, a man's body is muscle. 25% of a woman's body is muscle. Men have about one and a half gallons of blood in their bodies. Women only have about four-fifths of a gallon in theirs.

You say, well we're going to get to it. Men have a larger lung capacity, but women have a better immune system. Men have thicker skulls, and we all God's people said, amen. Women have more brittle bones. Normally a woman's bones are a little bit more brittle. A lot of times like when men and women get older when you are prone to fall obviously bones on both sides are more brittle.

But usually when a woman falls it's just easier to break a hip, or break a knee, or break an arm sometimes than it is for the man. Women have more brittle bones. Women have what's called the double X chromosome. And what I'm trying to say is even genetically, scientifically we are different.

Men have the XY chromosome, so we just have a different DNA obviously in our bodies. Now the second comparison is this, the tortoise and the hare. And I give these comparisons, sometimes it's easy to remember like this, men are like the rabbit or the hare. Women are like the tortoise. In other words this, men have more energy normally, but women have more durability.

And what do you say, what do you mean by that? Well, us men we get we have short bursts of energy and we like to get things done, but a woman can go to a mall for seven hours. I don't know what it is, I can go out and work and dig and whatever the case might be, but I go to the mall and my back starts hurting within 30 minutes. But my wife could shop all day and not buy anything. Well, she usually buys something. But sometimes women just like to look, they can go to the mall, and you know what I have found, we sat in the hospital four months with Kayden and it got to the point, man I was about ready to go nuts some days because you are sitting in an enclosed room for four months kind of a thing. And you know what, I think my wife on a whole handled that better than I did.

When we got Kayden home it was overwhelming, all that we had to do. So guess who after two weeks of being home, guess who gets the shingles? Me. After that guess who gets strep throat? Me. After that who gets, and you know what, I have always struggled since we've gotten Kayden home. I just can't get my immunity system back up, I don't know what it is, we're just so worn out. But guess what, my wife, boom, boom, boom, she's just faithful.

You know why? Because a lot of times men seem to have more energy, bursts of energy, but women are more durable. They are like that turtle, they get the job done, they can last longer. And us men you know we are like, well give that to me, let me do it.

Well we have more energy right then. But then we want to go sit in the recliner for the rest of the night. And what does the woman know? She cleans up the dishes, and she bathes the kids, and she does all these things.

And man we're tired, we're worn out because we've been working all day. Well so has she. But women are just more durable. The third comparison is this, the romantic and the mechanic. I've got to give you a verse from Titus chapter 2 verse 5 says, For women to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Now the romantic and the mechanic. The man the Bible says is to dress the garden and keep it.

The woman's job the Bible says is to nurture the family. Now women, the best way I can say, well let me say it this way, men are more visual. Men are attracted by the physical. Women are more intuitive. They are attracted by romance and nuances. Men are physical, physically attracted. Why do men like cars?

Because they look cool, and they look neat. And when you bring a classic car I stopped and took a picture of a Hudson. And anytime I can find a Hudson vehicle I take because we have a son Hudson and I try to get pictures of it. In Delaware this guy had a classic car and he built that thing. You got to see it's got all kinds of Cadillac interior and all this stuff. And I took a picture, you got to see the paint job on this thing. Well you know what I went by and I was like oh look at that car and I got a picture of the Hudson. Now my wife could have driven by it a hundred times and not even seen it. You don't care. But if I sat there and said you know what sweetheart I took a picture of a car today because it's a Hudson and our son's name is Hudson and so I thought man isn't that sweet to take a picture of this vehicle and it's the name of our son and my wife.

Oh that's sweet. But she wouldn't care what that car looks like. But you tell her the story behind it, well that's neat.

You know why? Us men we're physical, we're attracted by sight. But women are attracted by romance and nuances, there's a difference. We're going to get to that more in a minute. The next comparison is this the radar and the computer.

And this is big. Men primarily use the left hemisphere of their brain. Women use both hemispheres, the left and the right.

You say what's the difference? Well the left hemisphere of the brain that controls your logic, your reasoning, your calculation. And that's what men primarily use. We often times are more logical and we reason, we calculate. We can tell you why something happens the way it happens. We go through the whole thing. Women use both.

Now the right side of the hemisphere deals with feeling, emotion, sympathy, love, intuition. Let me say it this way. Women think like a spider web. It goes everywhere. They got perceptions everywhere. Men they are step by step. In other words this, women think like radar, men think like computers. It's logical, next step, next step, next step. That's the way we think.

Women it's just everywhere. They have perceptions everywhere. They're dealing with not only logic but they're dealing with intuition. They're dealing with not only calculating thing but how they feel about something. And so men we're thinking logically step by step but a woman thinks with intuition. And she's got like a spider web going out and we're like a computer we are step by step. Women are detail oriented.

Men are bottom line. Now this is big when you've been away from each other and you get in a car together. And you say how was your day?

Well the woman's going to start giving you details that the man doesn't give a flip about. What we need to know is my day was good. Great! Let's go on down the road.

Say how was your day? Well I was talking to so and so on the phone and she told me this and I was kind of thinking. And as men sometimes we get impatient because we're like you know what just answer the question. You know our wives talking and we're like kind of a thing. My wife sometimes I'll say so and so call on the phone. Well what did they say?

And she's telling me all kinds of things about the conversation that has nothing to do. Well what did they say about so and so? Tell me what the doctor said. You know it's like so and so might have to have surgery. So somebody calls and they just called and you know they just told your wife whether or not they're having surgery.

Okay thank you. Well what did they say? All I need to know is are they having surgery or are they not having surgery? And my wife will say well the doctor came in yesterday and they weren't there, they weren't there so the doctor had to come back in the next day and she's telling me all these details and all I want is boom all I want to know is did he have surgery?

Give me a witness right here. You know why? Because I'm a computer give me the next info, give me the facts, give me the facts. That's why women when you ask your husband how was your day?

It was fine. I don't know why he won't talk to me he just doesn't tell me things. Well you know why? Because we just don't have a whole bunch of details we're not detail oriented and then somebody will come up and tell my wife something and she'll be like did you know about that?

I'll be like yeah. Well you didn't tell me. You didn't tell me so and so was pregnant. Well I think I did.

No you didn't. You know why? Because I'm just not detail oriented. We think differently. The next comparison is this the code speaker and the reporter. You see women speak in code. Men speak in reports.

You say what does that mean? Well when women talk it's not really just hearing what they have to say but figuring out what they're really trying to say. Women I'm right whether you want to admit it or not.

Because a lot of times the husband is listening to every word you just said and the conclusion that he came up with wasn't what you were trying to say. And so then we say, oh so you're saying so and so. No that's not what I'm saying. You don't ever listen to me.

Well yes we did. But see a man he speaks in reports he gets the facts, blah, blah, blah. And a woman kind of speaks in code. And a lot of times we communicate differently. And where we begin to argue is we just can't figure each other out. You say well what does that mean? Well a woman uses language to express emotion. A man uses language to dispense facts. Us men we just give you the facts. A woman is not just going to give you the facts of what happens she's going to try to use all the words she's saying to not just tell you what happened but how she feels about what just happened. So like me you know we come in our son has an accident, we go to the hospital, Brother Joe would call me and say, Brother Daniel what happened with Daniel?

And I say well he fell, he broke his arm and we came to the doctor, he's putting a cast on, we appreciate your prayers. Our conversation might last 30-45 seconds. Isn't it great talking to a man?

I mean it's just boom it's done. Now if he called Julie and she felt comfortable, well what happened to Daniel? Well he was outside playing.

And you know it was rainy outside and this or that and you know he's not normally used to being out there and he's not normally used to this treehouse and we hadn't had this treehouse very long and he must not have been used to the steps and he was climbing up and then he fell. It would be a whole different conversation. You know why? Because not only is she explaining to Brother Joe what happened but she's trying to let him know this is the way I feel about it and I've thought all these things. Now is it wrong either way?

No. I'll tell you why it's good because a wife is going to get a whole bunch of details the man is going to miss. A wife is going to see a lot of things that the man won't see. The wife is going to be able to figure some things out because she has intuition that a man doesn't. A woman could come up to a man, a married man and flirt with him and half the time the man wouldn't even know it. You'd be like, well she's really nice.

And your wife is sitting there. Yes, she's nice. Is that what you want? Oh, is that what you want? Yeah. Is that what you want? You want a woman like that?

Flirting with everybody? And all I'm thinking is I thought she was a good waitress sweetheart. I didn't understand.

I don't know. I mean we've been in restaurants that my wife would say, hey can I have some extra tea lady. And I'd be like, can I have some tea? Sure honey let me pour some in there. That's ok you got enough food you know. And my wife would be like, see that?

I'm like, what I just wanted more tea. Oh, did you see? She's real sweet and nice to you. But she don't have. I'm not thinking that way. You say, does that happen a lot?

Oh, it happens a lot, yes. Who wouldn't want this? The last comparison is this, the lover and the achiever. So what does that mean? Well Ephesians 5 33 listen to this now, Ephesians 5 33, the healer so loved his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Look at me. Ephesians says what? Husbands blank your wives. Husbands what?

Love. Then it says wives blank to your husbands. Submit to your husbands. Ok. Why would God say that?

Everybody makes a big deal about this. Oh, so you see he didn't tell the woman that she had to love her husband. He just told her she had to submit. And men are like, hey God didn't tell me I had to submit to her.

She's got to love her. Wait a minute, now why would God put that this way? Why would God say that?

Are you looking at me? If you don't get anything else get this. The reason God told husbands to love their wives is because love is what she needs the most. The reason God told women to submit to their husbands is because respect is what He needs the most. It's not that the husband is not supposed to love and submit to his wife. And it's not that the wife is supposed to love her husband.

The wife is not supposed to submit and love her husband. But the greatest need of men is respect, admiration. The greatest need of a woman is love, feelings, intuition. And so God tells the husband let me tell you what you need to do most of all for your wife. You need to love her because that's what she needs the most. And He tells the wife what you need to do is submit to your husband because what he needs the most more than anything is your respect and admiration.

We're different like that. And so what often happens the husband doesn't do anything for the wife, doesn't buy her anything, doesn't take her anywhere, does nothing romantic for her and the wife doesn't ever build him up. She always tears him down.

She always says well you don't do this and you haven't done me this and I don't have the kind of house so and so has and I don't have this and I don't have that. And the husband's not loving his wife and the wife's not building up her husband's and we wonder why our marriages are falling apart. God tells the man to love the woman. God tells the woman to respect the man. The deepest need of the woman is love. A man at work decided to show his wife how much he loves her. God says she's coming over for two weeks. Then the washing machine broke and now you show up drunk. Why else would he make that effort because he never has before.