Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast today. Our desire is for the Word of God to be spread throughout the world so that all may know Christ. Join us now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church, located in Kernersville, North Carolina. Peter chapter 3, and we have a couple verses we're going to jump off with this. What do you mean, preacher, by a peaceable attitude?
You're going to find out here in just a few minutes, and as we continue with this. Um on attitude. 1 Peter chapter 3 verse 10. Let's look at this verse first. For he that will love life And see good days.
Let him refrain his tongue from evil. and his lips, that they speak no guile. Let him eschew evil and do good. Let him seek Peace. and ensue it.
Psalm 34 verse 13. I want you to look at this verse. Here with us tonight. Keep thy tongue from evil. thy lips from speaking guile.
Depart from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it. Do you notice the similarity? 1 Peter 3.10 is the New Testament version. Psalm 34 is the Old Testament version. Just in case you say, well, the Old Testament hey, it says it in both places, all right?
We are to seek peace. and pursue it. or insuit, which is literally the same word. I um Here's what I have found is that This becomes an attitude.
Sometimes if you and I are not careful, we can we can develop an attitude that just attacks peace. if we can possibly make an argument out of something. If we could possibly create strife or contention out of a situation, there are some that are just, they're determined to do that. And I will tell you this: that there are times in my life, there's a lot of reasons that this can develop.
Sometimes you're just tired, sometimes you're frustrated. We're going to talk about that in just a little bit. But our Bible makes it very clear that you and I are to have the kind of attitude about us. that seeks peace with people. We are to have the kind of attitude that tries to keep things right.
tries to keep things civil. How many of you believe that you can disagree and not be a jerk about it? Can I put it in those terms? You know that you can not necessarily have peace, but you can be peaceable. And you and I, as Christians, especially, we need to learn that you can disagree.
And you can have conversation without it turning into contention and strife. And an attitude can develop. We're going to talk about this in just a minute. Let's pray and hope this will be helpful. Lord, we love you.
Thank you for all that you've done. And I pray you'd help us to be willing to just analyze our own lives, our own attitudes tonight. Lord, I think the hardest thing to do is analyze yourself. We're often a little bit either too easy or too hard on ourselves. And God, I just pray that through...
Your word, that God, you would point some things out to each of us tonight. We love you and we're grateful. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. There's an author, Deborah Smith Pegwas is her name.
And she's written a number of books, one of which I wanted to just read this to you out of it. I thought this was interesting. One book that she had chosen, that I chose, I wanted to look at on a couple of different subjects with this thing of attitude. She wrote a book called Choose Your Attitude, Change Your Life. And but she's written a number of books.
She wrote a book on how to tame your anger, how to tame your emotions. even how to tame your finances. She's written a number of books. In in this um her book, A Choose Your Attitude. She said this.
I thought this was interesting. She says, I was counseling with a couple. about their marriage. And the husband, while she was there, she said, said this. Quote, no matter what I say.
She always has An interjection. It's always a but or this or that, even when we discuss issues. that neither one of us even really care about. He says, I wonder why. She loves arguing so much.
And I thought that was an interesting statement. Do you know some people love to argue?
Some people just love it. I don't, there are some that just they can't hardly make a day without it happening somewhere because they enjoy it.
Some people love to argue.
Now, some people love to debate. I'm not just talking about debating.
Some people like to take a subject that they know about and let you know. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about arguing.
Some people just enjoy it. And this is what this Deborah Smith Pegowus said. She said you could tell through his exasperation. It was evident That he didn't know what to do. She said this.
I knew his wife. and silently agreed. That she was one contentious woman. And she said, while I was in this counseling session, this verse came to my mind. I want you to see it, some of the many verses I'm going to show you tonight.
Proverbs 25, 24. It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop. Then with A brawling woman in a white house. My dad years ago messed up on this verse. And he said, Yeah.
It's true. You can take this thing. My dad read one time, he was preaching. He said, It's better to dwell in the corner of the housetop than with a wide woman on a brawling house. It is not a wide woman on a brawling house.
It is a... It is a brawling woman in a White House. And She said this in her book. She said, Married people listen up. If your mate has retreated to the corner of the housetop, emotionally.
and has virtually stopped communicating. Consider whether your attitude drove him there.
Now, the principle is that you got to understand who is writing Proverbs.
So it would sound really odd if he said, talked about a man the way he talks about a woman. Obviously, he's talking about the opposite sex. And so, you know, we're talking here about a contentious woman, but it's women and men. And the principle is this, that sometimes Uh literally, a mate can Literally, remove themselves as far away from a person as they can and stay in the same house. Because they are literally trying to remove themselves emotionally, because this verse even literally says, there's more relief.
In the corner of a housetop.
Now, I don't know anybody here. Listen, it's not the best place to have to live on outside on top of the roof.
Okay, that's not very comfortable. You're exposed to the weather. When it's cold, you're really cold. When it's hot, you're really hot, whatever the case might be. But this verse is teaching, it's even more doable there.
And then to be in a comfortable house with air conditioning and everything else with a person that is determined to argue. with a person that is determined to fight.
Now Uh what we don't need tonight is is this number. Going on, okay? All of us need to analyze ourselves a little bit. And I believe the Bible's correct. Don't you?
Don't you believe the Bible's correct? And the Bible is saying this: that literally, and who would be dwelling in a house together? A husband and a wife. And so this is kind of the context of marriage, but we're not going to stick on marriage all night. Calm down, it'll be okay, all right?
But the verse is saying this: that when you have a person, And sometimes it's both. But sometimes all it takes is one person who's just determined, whatever comes up, we're going to make an argument about it. We're going to fight about this. I mean, even stuff that doesn't matter, even stuff that you don't care about. And there are reasons for that, but God is making it very clear here that listen, nobody can live in that.
And so you and I need to analyze ourselves tonight. And she said this: you know, if your maid has retreated to the corner of the housetop emotionally, you know, sometimes you can't necessarily go live on top of the roof, but That's where emotionally that person has gone. It's how can I get away from this? How can I get away from this person? And oftentimes, you know, here, you know, the Huffmans are out of town helping their children move this weekend.
We miss John and Karen, so they deal with this more than I do. But Lord knows I counsel a lot and over the years. And what I have found is sometimes is the person that is so contentious will sit in an office and will complain that they don't ever talk to me. They don't communicate with me. And many times you want to sit there and you want to say, I understand why.
Why would they want to get into it? Because whatever it is, it's gonna turn into an argument or a fight.
Now, here's the deal. Don't ever sit there and think, well, preacher's talking about me. I don't know how things are in your house. I don't wanna know how things are in your house. I've got my own house.
And I know how it can go. I know how a lot of factors can go on the point. And listen. There have been times, I told you, I was talking to the Goodsons today, and we're glad to have them in town. And I told them a couple years ago, my family will verify this.
There was a season where it just seemed that on the way to church was not going well on Sunday mornings. And we had a season where, for about a month, I told everybody, I don't want to hear one word or one peep on the way to church. Nobody talked, and I wouldn't let anybody talk because Satan will attack you on the way to church. And I just found whatever came up, I had boys fighting boys and brothers fighting brothers, whatever. And boy, by the time I'm getting tired of them, then Julie and I would get into it or something, and I'm trying to get to church.
And get up here and smile and preach and talk about attitude, you know.
So we literally had to go to a point, we don't have to do that now, but it was like, I don't want anybody talking. Everybody, shut your mouth. We're going to get along today. And the only way to get along was not to talk to each other, it seemed. She asked this in her book.
How easy are you to talk to? That's a good question. No, we're not just talking about in marriage. but in marriage. But just as a friend, as a person, at work, wherever the case might be, how easy are you to talk to?
Do you really listen to your husband or wife with the intent? to understand them. Or when you listen, are you already making judgments? about their behavior. Your attitude establishes, she says, the fragrance of your home.
You choose whether it will be pleasant or whether it really stinks. I thought that was funny. She goes on to say this, and listen, my whole sermon, I'm not reading you out of book, but I wanted you to. See this. Because she says some things that I would say, but if I say it, you might take it harder, but somebody else is saying it, so that's why I'm reading it, all right?
She says contentiousness is annoying. to everybody. Except Fellow Are you yours The only people that can take a person that wants to argue all the time is another person that wants to argue all the time. She said, I heard about an amusing bumper sticker that read. I thought this was good.
People who think they know it all are especially annoying to those of us who do.
Well, as I did a little research on this, just a little bit, I I wanted to find out why is it sometimes, why does a person become to the point? Are we just born wanting to argue? Or what has transpired? What has happened? And she said this: that many times husbands or wives, they're not the only ones that can be prone to this.
She said this sometimes that as an individual can get older. People, they fear that they're useless. They fear that. They're not bringing anything to the table now. Life has passed them by.
They feel that there's not a lot of worth in their life.
So many times they will struggle to prove that they still have some level of superior knowledge. And if you and I are not careful, the older we get, we can begin to fear that maybe people aren't listening to me like they used to, or whatever the case might be. And we can then try to argue and interject. And our motive is to show that we still know some things and we are still useful. The problem is, that's not what comes across.
What comes across is you're just a jerk. You think you know it all. Why are you even arguing about this? She went on to say that there are a lot of people guilty of this. that are of religious persuasions.
They so-called contend for their faith, but they have not learned to do it in a non-contentious way. And I want to challenge you. Listen at Kerrworth Baptist Church. I believe that we preach the truth here. We believe the truth.
Not everybody does it our way, and that's fine. It's absolutely fine. We're just going to do here what God lays on our heart and all those things. But can I tell you something? When we contend with the faith, be it online, social media, whatever the case might be, you need to understand that when everything turns into an argument with you, you are not changing anybody.
You are losing your influence. I just want you to know that. Listen, just like husbands and wives at home, if everything's an argument, guess what? You are losing your influence. And when kids sit there and mom and dad are always arguing, guess what?
The respect level and the influence level is going further and further down. Because everything has to become a fight. Everything has to be an argument. And so you and I have to look at ourselves. The Bible has a lot to it.
to say about this. What about you? Do you always have to have the last word? In a discussion. Do you feel compelled to argue every issue?
Now, God makes his stance very clear on this, so we're going to jump into it tonight. It won't be long, but. I want you to understand where we're going. Here's what I have found on this series with attitude: usually, me just describing the attitude I'm getting ready to preach on. You already know it's wrong.
Now, I'm going to give you the verses, but it's not like I have to prove anything. Most of the time, if we're struggling with this, we know it.
Now I'm here to tell you, listen, and why I wanted to preach on this particular aspect of it. is because I struggle with this sometimes. I struggle with it. And I've often wondered why do I struggle with that? Why do I feel sometimes it's like I'm arguing over stuff that I don't even really care about?
I don't give a flip about it. It's like, why am I even debating this person on this? And some people just love it. They just love the contention, they love the arguing, because I think deep down they're convinced that somehow. They are showing themselves to be something.
And unfortunately. It's the opposite is what's taking place. And God knows that. You and I are to be salt and light. on this earth.
And if the world sees us as a bunch of people, by the way, this is how the world sees 90% of Christians. A bunch of people that just want to argue. about everything.
Now, do we have the truth? Yes. Do we have the right spirit? I don't know. Do we have the right attitude?
Probably not. I want you to look at a couple of these verses, Proverbs 27, 15. This is a continual dropping. on a very rainy day. And a contentious woman are alike.
This isn't just about women. Obviously, again, the writer here is male. Don't even start I don't want to even start with Eric.
Now it's not it's not a Water dripping that does get me if I can hear it. But we have a door that separates our bathroom and bedroom.
So if there's water dripping, I probably won't hear it. But let me tell you what has. occurred in my life in the past six months. We have a fan. That is absolutely silent.
Until about four o'clock in the morning. And all of a sudden it'll go t Yeah. Pick. Then it'll stop first and it'll go tick, tick, tick. If it just kept doing it, then maybe I would be used to it.
But it's like I can go to sleep, whatever, but about three or four o'clock, if I got to get up, go to the restroom, whatever the case, I lay back down, I'm just, oh, I'm just, I cannot wait to get back in this bed. Oh, I'm feeling tick to. Tick, tick. It hadn't been ticking all night long. And I got to get up, and what do I got to do?
I got to pray, and no, I got to get up, and I hit the fan, and it'll stop for a while. And a good hour, and all of a sudden I'm sleeping, I hear, tick, tick.
Okay. Tick, tick, absolutely agitates me. I mean, you could have traffic going by outside, I could sleep right through it. But if there's just this one constant sound, absolutely drives me nuts. God is saying this: listen to me: that you and I, our attitude like this.
it can agitate to the point that it's like that. It's just constant. And it gets to the point that it's just All the, listen, all the person hears out of my entire house. I hear that fan. And when you and I become individuals that just are always wanting to argue, that's all that the person sees in us.
Is that all we want to do is argue? Notice this verse, Proverbs 17, 14. The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water. Notice this. Therefore, leave off contention before it be meddled with.
Here's what he's saying: you start this, it's like once the water flows, you can't hold it back. I mean, it's just all of a sudden, it's just going to, not only is it going to come out, it's going to come out worse. If we allow contention to get started, and that's why you ever heard people, I mean, you've heard people give testimony that their marriages have ended over arguments that were over nothing. Why? Because as soon as you allow contention to start, it might be meaningless, but before it's done, it's like letting water out.
All of a sudden, it takes over everything.
Now you're drowning. And that means we can't let it get started. I want you to notice I'm going to give you a couple of Points tonight. I'll let you go home. maybe a little bit different than than what you would assume.
But let me give you a couple things. I hope it'll be a help to you tonight about having a peaceable attitude. Number one is this, and I want you to write this down, pray immediately when you wake up. Pray immediately when you wake up. Listen, don't wait.
Do you get bombarded with stress? You need to get God not just on your side, but you need to get God's help and God's strength from the moment you wake up. Can I have an amen right there? Listen, it's way too late to where you're just absolutely agitated at somebody, and now you've done said things that you should have never said, and now you want to talk to God about it. Pray the moment you wake up.
Nehemiah 8:10 says this: the joy of the Lord. is my strength.
Okay, so you got to go to the Lord first thing every day. You got to go to Him and say, God, would you somehow please help me to respond the way you want me to respond throughout the day? God, I need your help. God, I don't know what's going on, but I just feel like I'm ready to argue at the drop of a hat. And I'm the one dropping the hat.
God, I don't know what's going on. I don't understand it. And I don't really even like it. And God, before I even think about it, sometimes I'm right in the middle of it. And I just seem to have this urge that I've got to make my input and I've got to win an argument and I've got to turn this into something that it probably should have never been.
Get up in the morning first thing before you do anything and talk to God about it. I'm going to tell you: if you just do that, it's going to help you a lot. Number two is this: get enough sleep.
Now, this is the, I'm the, I'm the preacher to the choir here because I am horrible about this. Most of the time, I'm so busy that by the time I get to study for sermons, I wait till everybody goes to bed. I'll work on stuff. You know, John Huffman made fun of me the other day. I think I sent him an outline at 2 a.m.
And I had to be up at six to do something. I'm working on sermons. I'm trying to get them done when I can. And, you know, like even the last few weeks, I love it, but last few weeks, it's like, hey, listen, I got to put study and prayer and preparation and type things out, get an outline so they can make a PowerPoint. I got to do it for Sunday morning.
I got to do it for Sunday night. I got to do it for Monday night, Iron Men, got to do it for Wednesday night service. You know, there's just a lot going on. And when you do that, sometimes. But here's what I have found: if you don't get enough sleep, You get very impatient.
And if you don't get enough sleep, now you're operating without it. And sometimes, listen to me, sometimes an individual can develop a contentious spirit and an attitude that is just always ready to argue. And it's not that they just have this deep problem, it's just that they're tired. And they're not getting enough sleep.
So I encourage you, and by the way, you say, can you give me verses for that? Yeah, I could. I don't have time tonight. I want to get to some other things. But I just want to give you some quick ones first.
Pray immediately when you wake up. Second, get enough sleep. Because if you don't, you're going to turn into a very frustrated, impatient person. Number three, get a checkup. Here's what I have found.
We have people sitting right here tonight, by the way. And I don't know, I would never mention them personally, but we have people sitting right here tonight. That there was a great chemical imbalance. There were some problems physically. We have some here that have found out there were some heart issues, that there were some lung issues.
They didn't know what was going on. They're agitated, impatient, couldn't think straight. And here's what happens: what happens sometimes? They'll end up in an argument, arguing over something because, in their mind, they saw it and remembered it one way, and that's not even at all how it happened. They had an issue going on in their mind, but they're ready to fight about something because what they perceived to be what really happened never really happened.
And now they're arguing with people over stuff because they can't remember it correctly.
Sometimes, listen, if you get to, if you find yourself becoming this way, sometimes it doesn't hurt to get a checkup and just make sure, hey, get, you know, get some things checked. Make sure that you're thinking straight. Make sure you're eating the right kind of thing. Give me this next one: be mindful of what you eat. You know, sometimes.
I'm no dietician, obviously we all know that. But I will tell you this, I eat a whole lot less than some skinny people I know. Let me tell you something. I eat way less than most. You know, just because you're skinny doesn't mean you're not a pig either, okay?
Somebody's overweight, oh, they can't, you know. I've watched skinny people gorge themselves, all right? Listen, I'm just saying this, I'm not a dietitian, I'm not telling you, I got no room to tell anybody what, but what I am telling you this: it does affect you what you eat.
Now, it affects you how much you eat, but if you're miserable and you're eating the wrong kind of foods and you're always eating junk food or whatever the case, you can get to feel so cloudy and droggy and frustrated and you don't feel good. It can affect how you treat people. Can I have an amen right there? It's just logical. And I'm just saying, sometimes just changing that, just getting a checkup, just getting more sleep, sometimes just, you know, man, I've not been eating right.
I'm last minute, I'm eating in a hurry. And man, you eat at McDonald's every day. Can I tell you something? Before long, you're going to be mad at everybody.
Next, I want to tell you this. You say, where's the verses? Just hold on, we're getting there. Learn to say no. Learn to say no.
You know, a lot of times a person could become so argumentative. And so contentious because they're busier than God even wants them to be. And they've gotten to the point that they're just mad at everything because they have stretched themselves so thin. And they won't say no to the insignificant things, and they're ruining the significant things. And sometimes you need to learn to say no.
And look at me, whenever I say that, you know what people always take that as?
Well, start saying no to things at church. You know, why don't you start picking something other than church to say no to? Why don't we start with some of the activities and all the things in the social media and Facebook and everything else all the time? Why don't you start removing some of that before you start removing church?
Okay, notice this, and here we're going to dig into it next: is this: choose your influence. Choose your influence.
Now you get around a bunch of people that like to argue all the time and just always... Guess what? You're going to be. You're going to turn right into that. 1 Corinthians 15:33.
Look at this. Be not deceived. Don't let this deceive you. Don't let yourself not realize this. Evil communications.
corrupts good manners. You might have all the best intentions, but you get around the wrong people. And you have the wrong things communicated to you. And this is one of the things, and let me just say: since we were on this earlier, be very careful who you get marriage advice from. The last person you need marriage advice from is the person struggling with theirs.
And here's a woman that probably has good reason, husband's treated her wrong, cheated on her, everything else, kind of a thing.
Well, you know, at this point, she's just about mad at every man, whatever.
Well, then you guys, guess what? You're going to start bringing your problems. Be careful about who you get advice from. Be careful about that. Because you know what?
They're already mad. They're already contentious. You know what? A lot of times they're going to talk you into it. Be very careful about who you communicate with, where you get your influence from.
Be very careful about that, because it can turn you into the person. That you're around.
So be very careful about that. I want you to notice this next: to focus on others. When you find yourself getting the point that, man, you're just wanting to fight every time you turn around, wanting to argue and just. One of that way. And listen, let me just say this.
Many of you, your nature. Just, you know, your DNA and how your personality and your nature. There's a lot that might not struggle with it at all. But listen, if you don't struggle with this at all, I'm so glad you're here.
so that you can know how to pray for us, okay? And it's good if you don't struggle with it. Listen, not everybody does, but there are some that do. And there are some that constantly fight it. In their nature.
And we need to hear this tonight.
Okay, look at 1 Thessalonians chapter 5, look at verse 12. And we beseech you, brethren, to know them. The greatest news that anyone can receive is the news of the free gift of salvation found in Jesus Christ. It is our desire for you to know him personally. Would you take a moment to hear this to-day?
Every man is born with a sin nature. Romans 3:23 says, For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. No matter how hard we try, We're not good enough to obtain God's glory. or to get to heaven. Because of that sin carries the penalty of death.
Romans 6.23 says, For the wages of sin is death. But the gift of God is eternal life for the through Jesus Christ our Lord. The wages of our sin, or the payment of our sin, only equals death and separation from God. But it's only through God's gift salvation through Jesus Christ that we can accept Him as our Savior. Jesus Christ paid for your sin debt.
The Bible says in Romans 5:8, But God commendeth his love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. All you have to do is receive Christ. by faith as your Saviour. Romans 10.9 says That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. Verse 13 continues, For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
It's as simple as admitting that you're a sinner believing that Jesus is the only way. and calling upon his name. Bible says whosoever that's anyone can call upon the name of the Lord to be saved. Have you accepted Christ as your personal Savior? There is no greater day than today to take care of this.
Would you accept Christ as your Saviour? If you have any questions, please give us a call at 336-993-5192 or visit our website at Crowin Baptist Church. Dot com. or visits that person at one of our three service times. We hope you have a great rest of your day.
God bless you. Mm-hmm.
