This is the Truth Network. Satan's Nightmare, Nakia Koloff. This is one war that That needs to be settled. What a brawl what a fight. And it's out of control here.
That's a bad man. No, that's a bad man. No, that's a bad man. Anytime, any place, night, day, I don't care. I'm only a phone call away, my friend.
Welcome to another episode of QA with Koloff, the Devil's Nightmare. Welcome back, QA with Koloff, and I am excited today. No stranger to the Man Up Show or QA with Koloff is Tom Stewart. Tom, welcome back. Thank you, Nikita.
Good to be back.
Well, it's good to hear your voice. Of course, we're you're no stranger. I've been been up your way to Northern Virginia. If I've been up there once over the last thirty years, I've been up there ten or fifteen times. A lot, a lot.
But right? Yeah, and we always love having you up this way, Nikia.
Well, and and was up there just not that long ago. We did a men's conference there at your church, Montclair Tabernacle, right, with Pastor Brad Lewis and Gary Carruthers, and of course, uh Many a number of other guys there that were instrumental and helpful in making that happen. But you and I go back. Uh quite a number of years um that we first met through Montclair Tabernacle, right? That's right, back to 20.
eighteen, I think, is when I met you. and then did the first uh man camp in twenty nineteen in North Carolina. Yeah, so you were part of the first man camp. And of course, almost, with a couple exceptions, almost every time since then, you've been back to volunteer your time to staff and been instrumental as one of our facilitators, slash teachers, slash mentor. There's a lot of names that could fill in the blank and how valuable you have been to the man camp.
Well, I appreciate that, and it's just truly an honor to serve there.
Well, in in And the number of camps you you've participated in and and What would you say somebody out there is just hearing about Man Camp for the very first time, and is there something you'd share in terms of either what your very first experience was like and/or coming back now and being on the other side and serving on staff, what that experience is like? Or maybe you can just give a little nugget on each side of it. Yeah, as a camper when we did the first man camp back in 2019, I think you really roll into this as a camper not knowing what to expect. And as a as a a Christ follower, um We should be open, I think, to whatever God has for us. And I'm proud to say that the camp experience was far more than anything I could have ever expected in many ways.
Um it's just To me it's like it's like crossing over that good line. And just experiencing the heart of God in a way I never have. And it's a process. It kind of launches you into a deeper relationship with God. And then as a as a staffer coming back, Uh multiple times.
You get to see other men experiencing that. that that just launching into this chasing after a heart of God like I did. You get to see these men and how their lives change. Um it's just it's a miracle of God how he takes each man individually and just molds them that week and lets them experience him. And that's it, and I appreciate that.
And for those who, again, you're not, maybe you're hearing about this for the very first time. The camp experience is when the Lord gave Lex Luger, one of my wrestling buddies, and I, the vision for this many years before we actually launched it, we were just waiting for God's perfect timing to do it. That was part of the vision to offer an environment to guys to come and just grow and go deeper in their walk with the Lord.
Now, and there have been times when there have been some that have come, either they thought they had a relationship with the Lord or they knew they didn't have a relationship with the Lord, but were certainly impacted by attending the camp itself. And Part of our goal, part of our vision was to send men home for all the ladies out there listening, to send these men home better equipped, let's just say than they already are, better equipped with the tools to be that godly man, that godly husband, godly father, godly grandfather, if that were to apply. And then once they come to camp, Tom came to camp, he then had the opportunity to come back and serve and just be on staff. And so he's done that many, many times. And that is indeed a whole different perspective now that you get to participate in, as Tom was saying, and see other men from a different perspective, other men coming hungry for God or just wanting to deepen their relationship.
And you now get to play a role in that and be a part of that. And And we've had a number of men over the years from your church, from Montclair Tabernacle, that have come. Of course, Gary Carruthers, who is a longtime pastor up there, has been back a number of times and served on staff as well. How many years did he pastor there, Tom? Any idea?
I think it was thirty three or thirty four years. Thirty three, thirty four years. And of course when when he felt to step away from the pulpit, he handed it off to his son in law, Brad Lewis, right, who has now been there a number of years. And um And it's just been so great to have you a part of the camps. And of course, you and your lovely bride, Connie, are not just you're not just a part of the camp.
You and your bride are also a part of the Cola for Christ Prayer team, you guys have a period of years that you have been a part of that and instrumental when the Lord put it on my heart. to to put uh a prayer team together and, you know, just felt Prompted or led to approach you, you were very open and receptive to that. And of course, Connie wanted to be a part of that as well. And how long have you guys been married, Tom? You and Connie?
Well, I'm glad you asked. This may. Yeah, put you on the spot. If I guess this May will be 39 years. Come on, 39 years.
Wow. Congratulations on thirty-nine years. And what would be for our listeners out there, maybe they're just engaged or just had just gotten married?
So give them a nugget, Tom. What has led to thirty-nine years of marriage? Man, um Just humility in Christ and humility with each other. Mm. That's good.
And and you guys you you you do some some uh if you want to call it teaching or coaching or mentoring uh with with marriage ministry now, right? Yes, we uh we were trained some years ago. Um in kind of partnering with our uh our uh marriage pastor at the time Him and his wife, and they have since left the church. They relocated with a job down to Atlanta. And Connie and I took over the marriage ministry there.
So, what we do essentially is we lead the small group weekly. uh the marriage small group weekly. We call it marriage mornings. It's every Sunday morning at 10 a.m. at our church.
And we also um do what we call marriage coaching. We are not marriage counselors, we're not licensed counselors, but we are marriage coaches. And we simply bring couples Together, we do a lot of one-on-one, we do two-on-two with them, and we simply try to provide tools for their marriage. to get through the rough spots and just to enhance their marriage and and seek for oneness between the two of them uh in the way that God designed marriage. Hmm, that's really good.
Ironically, I have a ministry card next to me here. It says marriage, the messy. The marvelous and the miraculous. Yeah. That's about right.
They all qualify, right? Yes. Totally above. I'm sure in 39 years, yeah, I would venture to say there's maybe been a time or two that seemed a bit messy and then a few times marvelous. And then, of course, here you are 39 years later, which might qualify as the miraculous, right?
Absolutely. Without a doubt. Oh, man, that's pretty good.
So, real quick, just maybe one quick. story uh on maybe a a couple that you guys have ministered to that maybe their marriage is was their marriage like maybe re ready to fall apart and but you were able to step in and and help help bring restoration to that marriage? Yeah, we had one recently. In fact, we I I was able to Um I guess lead the man to go to man camp who he received just an incredible week from the Lord there. And We have been able to coach them in their marriage and uh They It's not all roses.
I mean, they've still had some bad spots. A little messy still. They are. Yeah, it's still messy, yeah, but it's still good. And the the I guess the victory in that is they both love the Lord and they both are dedicated to making it work.
Oh, that's that's and that's the key right there, right? Dedicated to making it work. And uh. Last question before we get to your questions for me. Your son is a Man Camp alumni.
Yes, sir. And uh and and help me if Help me. I've done so many of these, they all blend and kind of blur together. You staffed his camp, right? I did.
Brandon came, I think it was two years ago.
Okay. And so, as maybe there's a father out there, or there's a son out there. Of course, we've had a lot of fathers-sons who actually both attended camp together. We've had grandfathers and grandsons. We've had a camp like where you dad was staffing, and the son was at the camp experiencing it, or vice versa.
The son was staffing, and the dad was at camp experiencing it. What maybe one quick Story of how that experience to be there with your son, how that impacted your relationship with Brandon. What do you do with your spare change? Go to your app store, download the app YourChange to help support Kolof for Christ Ministries. Every penny, nickel, dime, and quarter helps us fund Man Camp and so much more.
When you come upon one who's down in town, Spread it off all around. Again, download your change, register as a giver, and start making a kingdom difference today. If you're looking for cutting-edge products, discover top-quality supplements designed to boost your health and wellness. Traynaut Nutrition. Find a variety of vitamins, proteins, and herbal extracts tailored to meet your needs.
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Well, I'm just proud to say that Brandon and I have always had a really good, healthy relationship to this day. And he's 33 years old, still calls Dad for advice, still calls Dad for help with his car, advice on how to work on it. We're going through that right now, in fact. But um to know that that God has allowed me to live I'm 66 to live this long. I lost my father at 55.
I was 15 when dad died. But to know that God has allowed me to live this long and Brandon And I to have this close relationship and then go to man camp together, and then we did the reunion camp together in the summer. It just brings tears to my eyes. to to first of all to have that with Brandon, that connection. In Christ and his Father and Son, and then.
Um it just a wish that man, that my dad and I would have had that. We've had something like if we would have had something like this back when he was alive and and and I could have went with him. Man, that just would have been priceless. Wow, that's great. I appreciate it, Tom.
And if you're wondering how you can learn more about Man Camp, we only do one in the spring. And one of the fall, Lex Luger is a part of that. Tom, and many other come and volunteer and serve. Go to mancamp.info. That's mancamp.info to learn more.
If you're in military, active or retired, if you're in law enforcement, if you're a first responder, if you're the pastor. Of a church. We have a special scholarship fund for you because we just want to be a blessing to you. And if God puts it on your heart, help you get to camp. If you're none of those things, we have a special scholarship fund set up for those who need financial assistance.
So don't let money. Be a reason. If Tom's conversation with me today has spurred something inside of you, stirred something inside of you to want to attend one of these camps, don't, don't, don't. Dismiss that. Just take advantage.
Just follow through with that.
So, all right, Tom.
So, it is QA with Koloff.
So, let's give you the opportunity to ask me a question or two. I know you said you had a couple of good ones lined up. I can't wait to hear what you ask.
Okay. Well, let's hit it then.
So you and I have had many conversations over the years of you just telling me about yourself and so forth and some of the things that you've Told me about yourself have really just ignited joy in my heart and things that I wish I could share with others. But here's my first question: So, go back to that young boy that you were. When you told us that you first picked up that muscle mag and said, One day I'm going to look like that. Go back to that day.
So my question is. My question is what um made that kind of drive and determination happen at that young of an age. Great question. And I'll tell you what kind of pops in my head. You know, you just.
Wow, this is just gonna, I think, tie together.
So You just talked about if there could have been a a man camp that you as a son could have attended with your dad, that it would have made a world of difference in your relationship, right? And so, for those who don't know, my dad left when I was three. Um didn't come back into my life until until college when he started coming to my football games.
So just picture age three uh-ish, um and so college 18, so there's a 15-year gap in there. Yeah. I was twelve. when I picked up that muscle magazine and uh Iron Man. and with with no male real no real male role model, no male figure in my life.
I had some older brothers, but uh but they were much older and out of the house by the time I was twelve. And and so Tom, that magazine really just stirred something inside of me to. to make that statement, one day I want to look like one of these guys and And anyone who spends any time around me will figure out pretty quick I'm an all-in kind of guy. Like, I don't just dip my toe in the water if I make a decision to do something. by golly, I'm gonna do it, you know, and if i any way possible.
And so So, to make that statement, I knew I had to go to work in order to accomplish it. And so, I guess the fact that I had no male role model, no male figure in my life became part of the driving force to want to be successful in becoming like one of those guys looked in that magazine. And I thought to myself, wow, somebody can really look like that, put in the hard work and really, you know, grow their muscles and really look like that. And so. That's that not having a dad at home, not having that relationship at home is what I embraced and what I kind of held on to, Tom, in terms of my manhood and wanting to be a man.
That I thought that was going to be what it meant, part of what it meant anyway, to be a man. And so. Hopefully that that answers your question or brings some clarity to the question. Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah. Awesome. Thank you. Great quiol. Thank you.
Great. Nobody's ever asked that before. That was a great question. Yeah. Well, thank you.
Next question. As men, we need to be intentional with doing good things in our lives, because if we're not, you know, that things just don't. They don't happen. If we don't make them happen, they don't happen, it seems like. What are tips?
for that you could give men for being intentional and living with purpose. these days. I just, that's another great question. I was just literally sharing with someone last night. We were just talking.
About purpose, right? Um Because I think, you know, most likely there's not a person on the planet that doesn't. Want their life to mean something in some way, shape, form, fashion, and You know, as a Christ follower, as a believer, for those out there who are, you realize pretty quickly, I think, that there is a greater purpose to your life than just doing what you're doing. Like for me, when I gave my life to Christ, 17 October 1993, Tom, I had an aha moment that there was a greater purpose to my life than entertaining people in what we call the squared circle, right? In a wrestling ring.
And up to that point, I didn't realize it. In fact, I was on a search for for more meaning to life and for a more meaningful a more meaningful life and And so, in discussing this with people over time, and I'd say more than one discussion, as recent as last night, somebody was like, I'm just praying about what my purpose is. And so I shared this. In fact, I'll probably post it on my social media, probably on. On uh I still call it Twitter, Tom.
I I know X, it's X it's no, it's Twitter, you send out a tweet, you don't send out an X, you know. Anyway, little side note there, uh, but you know, Facebook and Instagram, I post I try to post these little positive quips each day and and and a little thought behind it, and so I'm looking at it right now, Tom, and it says this: I asked the wise man. How do I find purpose? and he replied, Purpose isn't found. is created by giving meaning to what you do daily.
Mm. Purpose isn't found, it's created, like so you create. Your purpose by giving meaning to what you do daily.
Now, I say that to say I have to add to that and say. Yeah. the Creator of the Universe, God Almighty, Dig create you for those of you out there listening. Created you with a purpose. He didn't just randomly bring you into this life and into this world without a purpose.
Now the world itself will try to to beat you down and and make you believe you don't have a purpose that You're here for no reason at all, but I'm here to tell you, and thank you, Tom, for your question. I'm here to tell you, you have a purpose, Jesus. came with a purpose. What was his purpose? His purpose was to model for you and I what it looks like to love God.
To love our Heavenly Father. uh and fulfill a mission A mission and a plan and a purpose. that God created for you and I. And sometimes, you know, that is a bit of a mystery to us, but the more you pursue God, I'm convinced the more he'll reveal to you what your greater purpose is, and until that moment, until that time, Then just take each and every day that you have and and in order to give meaning to it, Um Pursue that where you can make a difference. I'd say it this way, Tom.
At the end of the day, set a goal of of making a mark and not a stain. Mm-hmm. Making a mark. Like, do something positive. Try to do something positive.
And that's not that you can't. It's kind of a lofty goal. But to the best of your ability, try to do something positive and make a difference, one, in your own life and life of others. And in doing that, your life's going to have more meaning. And in pursuing a relationship with God, it's ultimately going to give you a glimpse into what your greater purpose is than for me, than just wrestling in a wrestling ring.
Is that. Was that helpful? Absolutely, I like that. And that's good. I can't wait to re-listen to this.
I appreciate it. I mean, some really great questions. We have time for one more if you have it. If not, I actually have one more. I had three prepared.
Okay. Are you ready? Yep.
Okay. So, um Over the years, you know, I've been involved with men's ministry off and on for better than 30, 35 years or so. seen a lot of changes, seen a lot of things happen. I've seen a lot of men struggle. I've seen a lot of men succeed.
So my question, or my setup for the question is, Men often struggle with living up to expectations, whether it's their wife's expectations or their job's expectations. It just seems like there's always a struggle there at some point in our lives.
So How do you see Success. in the life of a believer. Hmm. Uh well, y interesting choice of wor you s use the word expectations, right? Mm-hmm.
And what the Lord's taught me over the years, what I've learned over the years, and I don't always hit the mark. I mean, I tri I try, try my best to hit the mark, but is and I feel the Lord taught me this, there's a difference between the word expectation and expectancy. And you are correct about when when when You know, whether we place a certain expectation, we're getting married and we put a certain expectation on our bride, you know, or vice versa, or or our boss has a certain expectation that they place on us, or we walk into that job, maybe a brand new job, or or that job we've had for a while, you know, with certain expectations that we want met. You know, whether it's I want this many vacation days and this many much pe you know, Paid time off and this many holidays, and whatever, right? Whatever, whatever, whatever.
But what I've learned, Tom, is if we approach each day and approach life, uh with expectations Uh I'll take it even as far as expectations of what we think God should do. What I found is I have been more disappointed, disillusioned, dissatisfied all the dis words. Right? That if that wife doesn't live up to my expectations. I'm disappointed.
Right? And so the Lord spoke to me and said, look, I don't want you to approach each day with expectations. Even coming to man camp. Like, don't come to man camp with any expectations. When I went to my first camp 20 years ago, I went with no expectations.
I just went with an open heart and an open mind to say, okay, God, I'm doing this. You've called me to do it. I'm led to do it. Uh can't wait to see what you do. And that leads me into the word expectancy.
The difference between expectancy and expectations is that expectations puts a ceiling on and limits God. or limits that other person.
However, If you approach life with, wake up and approach each day with an expectancy, meaning you don't know what's going to happen today. You have no clue what's going to happen. You don't know what's going to happen in that marriage, what's going to happen on the job site. But if you approach it with, God, I can't wait to see what you do in this marriage today. God, I can't wait to see what you do in my relationship with my son or daughter today.
God, I can't wait to see what you do on the job site today. Uh uh you are a good God. I I I sense it's going to be good. But I just can't wait. And Tom, in approaching a good majority of my days with that, perspective come the end of the day?
Let's just say there's been a whole lot more uh good days than bad. And a whole lot less disappointment. Whether it's in God or other people, or even in my own effort, disappointed in myself. Right? And that's been a process, Tom, that I have had to, and I'm still learning, but that's been a process that I've had to be intentional.
You brought that word up. intentional To approach each day with an expectancy where there's no ceiling, by the way. No ceiling. I mean, there's no telling what could happen that day, and how many times I've been blown away. uh by by come the end of the day and what I experienced Um Having not put expectations on it.
Does that make sense? I hope. Yeah, it does. And I really like the differentiation of expectancy versus expectations. That's powerful.
Yeah, I mean, and it's funny. I I had a a pastor friend one time, you know, I was sharing that with him. He's like, Mmm, I I don't know about that. And I'm like, well, you know what? Give it a shot.
At least give it a try. Give it a whirl. And who came back later and went, Wow, like that really worked, you know? Like, yeah, he goes. I've had a lot less, a lot fewer disappointing days, like a lot more joy-filled days.
Yeah, man, when you don't limit people or don't, you know, don't place limits on them, don't place limits on God, just be excited about the day and whatever unfolds, unfolds. And I sense to say, I believe you too out there in listening land will have more days filled with joy. Unless days filled with disappointment.
So, there you go.
Well, Tom Stewart, you are an amazing friend and brother in the Lord. I'm so grateful to know you and Connie and have you a part of the prayer team. And uh part of Man Camp. Uh again, if you want to learn more about Man Camp, go to mancamp.info. We only do one in the spring, one in the fall.
That's it. Small groups of men.
So we encourage you to become a part of it, uh plug into one and and uh Perhaps it'll change and transform your perspective on life and give you greater purpose. Tom, thanks for being on the show today. Thank you for having me, Nikita, and looking forward to camp coming up in a few weeks. I'm looking forward to it as well. And to all you out there in listening, land, my challenge to you today, love and have a Godfill and God.
Thursday. Till next time. If you are a business owner and would like to advertise your company or product on the Man Up Show and or Q ⁇ A with Koloff, contact me directly, Nakita Koloff at Koloff.net.
