Delighting in Your Kids and Grandkids, Part 3

Today, on Insight for Living, from Chuck Swindoll. When we delight in our children and our grandchildren, we care about what they live with. So when we're gone, they will have learned what's healthy and wholesome, respectful and right. Talking to them about Jesus, piece of cake, you delight in them.

They want to know everything that's made you so easy to be with. And that starts with Jesus. In this generation, it seems that big families are growing extinct. Having lots of children has become far less common. Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, listen to these refreshing words from Psalm 127. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior's hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them. Today, on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll reminds us that children are not a chore.

They're a gift from the Lord. We begin in Proverbs chapter three. Chuck titled his message, Delighting in Your Kids and Grandkids. Here is a father correcting a child because he delights in him. When children are neglected, they're not corrected. They're not guided with wise reproof.

They're left pretty much on their own. And what an insecure feeling that is. But when parents care enough to confront, to correct, knowing that if this kind of attitude or action were to continue on unaddressed, it would work against the child as he or she grows up.

Needs to be corrected. And you do so because you delight in them. You find pleasure in their presence. Let me show you something from the Psalm we read. We may have read it over so quickly you missed the analogies.

There are three of them worth noting. Psalm 127 begins with, Children are a gift from the Lord. Stop right there. A gift from the Lord. Last time we were together, we talked about how children are formed in the womb and the Lord makes the child during that nine month period, giving the child certain interests and inclinations, certain skills, certain abilities. And then when the birth comes, it's like he's wrapped a ribbon around the child with a little bow saying, here's my gift. Now, the child is a gift, not a liability. The child comes as a gift, not an accident. Your child comes into your home as a gift, not an interruption. As a gift, not merely a tax deduction, not a burden to bear, but a gift to open and delight in. And notice the giver. No one else gives you the child, but the one who has made the child, the Lord.

Made by God, given by God. I wonder if your child realizes what a treasure she is to you and to your partner in life. I wonder if your son is growing up remembering, my folks thought of me as a gift, a treasured gift. We read the scriptures too hurriedly.

We don't marinate the words by taking time with them. The next analogy is equally valuable. They are a reward from him. A reward. I looked up the word reward in the dictionary.

Webster tells us that the term means a satisfying result. What a difference that makes in children when they realize how the Lord has satisfied us by bringing them into our lives. And there are moments along the way in life when we pause and let them know how special they are to us. The third is equally intriguing. Children are like arrows in a warrior's hands.

Look at that. We're not too familiar with arrows unless you're an archer and most of us aren't. So we have to read about them, to learn about them. Arrows, well they are invaluable for a warrior in order for him to survive a battle. They're invaluable. Furthermore, they must be handled with care or damage could happen.

Third and of course perhaps the most important, they must be directed toward a specific target for their purpose to be fulfilled. But this isn't talking about literal arrows and literal ears. This is picturesque language designed to make us imagine. Happy is the one whose quiver is full of those arrows. Happy. Because the quiver is full of arrows.

We launch them straight toward specific goals that are important to them because we've studied them to see how they're put together and having concentrated on them and given them the hours of time that requires our time has been invested well. For our closing scripture I want to summarize the passage for you. I think it will land more firmly in your mind by my doing so. I'm referring to what Paul wrote in tender moments to people who meant so much to him. He delighted in the Thessalonians. Interesting, the Thessalonians. If you know your Bible history you know that Paul came to Philippi when he crossed the Aegean and then made his way down Macedonia till he got to Greece. But on the way down he stopped at Thessalonica for a little while not long and then briefly at Berea and then came through Athens and then on to Corinth where he spent more time.

Thessalonica. Paul writes to them later following his time with them and he's remembering when. And if I may use the word he's delighting in the memory. He says in First Thessalonians 2 5 through 12 verse 5, I never tried to win you with flattery.

Listen to these words of delight. I never tried to win you with flattery. I didn't pretend to be a friend and to rip you off financially. I was never a freeloader. I worked when I was with you.

But my the times we had together. Verse 6, I didn't seek praise from you or from others. I wasn't there to get the glory. I was there for you. Verse 7, I never demanded anything from you but I became like a mother. Get that analogy.

Feeding and caring for her own children. Verse 8, we love you so much that we shared not only God's good news but our very own lives. I love that phrase.

That's a phrase that refers to vulnerability. When I was with you, I allowed you to see the scars of my past. I spoke of the regret of my life when I had spent my days chasing down Christians when I was lost. When I ran with the Pharisees.

When I was on my way to Damascus to hunt down more to imprison them and if possible to see to their deaths. He shared his very life with them. They got to know the real Paul. It's beautiful as he describes the tenderness of sharing his very life with them.

You do that with those you delight in. Do your children know your story? Do they know your scars?

Do they know the terrible mistakes you made and the things you learned from them? They welded themselves to parents when parents allowed them to enter into their own struggles. The lessons they learned.

The failures of their past. I shared with you my very life. We worked hard among you. We were diligent. We were never a burden to anyone. Verse 10, we were devout and honest.

He even uses the word faultless. When he looks back on those couple of weeks he was with the Thessalonians of people. They could not find fault in what he did with them. We treated each of you as a father treats his own children. We pleaded with you. We encouraged you. We urge you to live lives in a God honoring manner. Those are great words.

Did you miss the bookends? Like a mother. As a father. We poured ourselves into you. Can you imagine the Thessalonians when they're reading the letter from Paul pausing and probably with tears remembering weren't those great days when that man was with us? Weren't those delightful days? Like a mother. Like a father. When I began this message I spoke of a Bible class we had in our home.

I did the figuring between the two services today. That was about 55 years ago. We've now had our children. We lost two in the process. Two miscarriages, precious lives that God chose not to grant us. Made us love the ones we had all the more.

A boy on each end and girls in the middle. They're now in their 50s. Our oldest is past 60. They were so little back in the days when we had that Bible study. We didn't even have Chuck yet. He wasn't even born.

We had only three. And I thought about the years. I thought about Papa on the roof in Fiddler. Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset.

Swiftly fly the years. One season following another laden with happiness and tears. Wonder what our kids will say about our home as they were growing up. Not an easy place to grow up in a minister's family. Your home may not have been an easy place to grow up, but you know what? We were determined to be different from the families in which we were born and raised. We wanted to have more laughter, more fun. Memories are built around fun.

We determined early on that that would be what we would have for our family. Remember that little Bible study determining some of those things because we realized children learn what they live with. As one woman wrote, if a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy. If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence. If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate. If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice. If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith. If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. And if a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world. It's missing, folks.

It's missing. Ours is a world of rage, no patience, anger, vile words, harsh responses, no forgiveness, ugly reactions, violence, murder, even slaughter. Something's wrong in the home where those people grew up.

Think, ponder. You say, well, my family's grown. Your grandparents? When we had our time with family last evening, we were not only with children, we were with grandchildren. What a privilege. What an opportunity. And it's so much easier with your grandparents. Have you noticed? Yeah. Only the worst of a child would be disrespectful of a grandparent.

Some of these days shoot their grandparents. Please, please listen to me. This isn't a sermon. This is a message from God for all of us.

We need it. This world is going to hell in a handbasket. We've lost our way.

Even the leaders of this country have lost their way. Wonder how they were raised. Children learn what they live with. What are they living with in your home?

This is your move. You're the parents. You're the grandparents. Doesn't matter what the age of your children are.

Maybe. It doesn't matter where you live. Doesn't matter what your income is. Doesn't not matter.

You live in a four-room adobe hut on a scrub brush ranch. No, you don't. Wherever you live, whatever the circumstance, think about it. Bring back the fun.

Take time. You'll never regret it. On your dying day, you won't think, why wasn't I at the office more? You'll think, why wasn't I with my family more? When we delight in our children and our grandchildren, we care about what they live with. So when we're gone, they will have learned what's healthy and wholesome, respectful and right. And by the way, if I may, talking to them about Jesus, piece of cake, when you delight in them, they want to know everything that's made you so easy to be with. And that starts with Jesus.

You know what's interesting? When Jesus chose his twelve, Mark 3.14, he selected the twelve to be with him and then to send them forth to preach. Note the order. To be with him and then to send him forth. To be with him, then to send him out. Home is where the children are with us and then they're gone.

We've heard it all our lives. Love them while you've got them because they'll be gone before you know it. If you still have them under your roof, delight in them. Tell them about the cross and the difference that's made in your life. Or if you don't have that open door, start with an apology for missing so much along the way that you've blocked an interest they may have had in Jesus.

Start there. Most kids I know, unless they're now twisted beyond repair, are willing to forgive us. I'll tell you, Cynthia and I have done our share of apologizing and we needed to. You know what? No problem with being forgiven.

That's another story for another time. I want you to leave this room today with these things on your mind because I'm talking to you on behalf of your family. Thank you, Father, for communicating to all of us today in this all-important subject of delighting in our children. I thank you that you have delighted in us so much so that you poured out your grace and you've shown us your love and you've never once turned your back on us and you care deeply about those things in our lives that we struggle with. It's hard to cut a new course, but I pray for those parents and grandparents today that need to do so. May we stop the journey that's been going in the wrong direction long enough and from this day on find us faithful as we delight in our children and grandchildren.

In Jesus' name, everyone said, amen. This week, our topic has been delighting in your kids and grandkids. And please keep listening because Chuck Swindoll has much more to say about your family. You're listening to Insight for Living and a brand new topical series called Restoring Your Family's Foundation.

To learn more about this ministry, connect with us online at insightworld.org. This seven-part study represents decades of study in the Bible, but most notably, Chuck offers a wealth of wisdom that comes from his role as a devoted husband, dad, granddad, and great-granddad. Our world is changing and it'll keep on changing.

That's no big revelation, but we can't stake our hope on idyllic visions of yesteryear. Chuck invites us to embrace our future and to do so with the courage and confidence in God's unchanging word. If you're looking for a book to help you fireproof your marriage, let me recommend one of Chuck's classics. It's called Marriage from Surviving to Thriving. Whether you're newly married or a veteran in marriage, we believe the biblical principles in this book will help you.

To purchase Chuck Swindoll's book, Marriage from Surviving to Thriving, go to insight.org slash store or call us. If you're listening in the United States, call 800-772-8888. Remember, Insight for Living is made possible through the generosity of grateful friends like you. And when you give today, you can be sure your contribution will help some unsuspecting person who's listening to this program, hoping to find biblical help. I'm reminded of a recent note we received from a woman who said, Insight for Living helped me raise both my children. Today I'm 70 years old and I'm still listening. Well, in many respects, your gift to Insight for Living has impacted families like this one and so many more. So thank you. To give a donation today, call us.

If you're listening in the United States, call 800-772-8888, or you can give online at insight.org slash donate. Take it from Chuck Swindoll, there's nothing quite like the beauty of the great frontier. Red open skies, pristine glaciers with various shades of blue and turquoise mingled within them towering pine trees and all manner of wildlife. I'll tell you, Alaska is truly a masterpiece of God's creation. I've been to a lot of places and seen a lot of things, but honestly, nothing compares to the beauty in Alaska.

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The tour to Alaska is paid for and made possible by only those who choose to attend. I'm Bill Meyer. Join us when Chuck Swindoll describes what he calls a father everyone admires, next time on Insight for Living. The preceding message, Delighting in Your Kids and Grandkids, was copyrighted in 2022 and 2023, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2023 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited. �