How Often Should We Forgive?, Part 2

Today from Chuck Swindoll of another. If I may, for the next few moments, should there be someone you've not yet forgiven? Though the question is a general one, it means something very personal to each one of us. My individual that I think of, should there be someone in my life, is different from the one you're thinking of. Should there be someone you've not yet forgiven?

Or there may be several. As we pray, let's all ask the Lord to open our hearts so that we're not defensive. We're willing to hear what Jesus teaches and what it means to us personally. Bow with me, will you please?

It's hard to imagine how far east is from west, but there it is. And it's that far you have removed our transgressions from us, thanks to the cross, thanks to your grace. This infinite space represents that magnificent breadth of your forgiveness, Father. And were we to live to be 200, we would never, ever be able to thank you enough.

I'm grateful how truly grateful we are that you have forgiven us all our sins, and you keep on doing that day after day, week after week, throughout our lifetime. I pray that you would soften the soil of our souls today, so that as the seed of your word is planted, it will take root and bear fruit. Speak to us as though we were all alone with you in this room, and you were talking with us just above a whisper. May we hear what you're saying, and may we accept it.

And where necessary, may we come to terms with it. Enable us to break the habit of just sitting and listening and leaving and forgetting. May it truly land deep within our souls so that we do not forget what we have heard.

Help the words to take shape so that the need is met in an almost tailor-made manner, so that we realize you truly are speaking directly to us, saying one thing to one person, something altogether different to someone else. We are here at all stages and ages of life. We all come broken, sinful, hopefully contrite and teachable. So as you speak, I pray that you will find no resistance.

May we not be afraid of where this truth will lead us. Thank you for providing for our needs so wonderfully well. Meet the needs of us as a church. Use these gifts as we give them here and abroad, among those we know and with those we've never met, in places we've been and places we not only have never been but could hardly pronounce. Give your word free course as a result of the needs that are met through these gifts. Encourage those missionaries, those spokesmen and women, those who serve you, those who are students, learning, growing.

Watch over them in these tender days of their growing up years and prepare them for a life of leadership in their own realm of influence. Thank you for the privilege of giving. We do it with generous hearts and we ask this prayer, filled with faith, in the name of Jesus.

Everyone said, Amen. You're listening to Insight for Living. To study the book of Matthew with Chuck Swindoll, be sure to download his Searching the Scripture studies by going to insightworld.org slash studies. And now the message from Chuck that he titled with a question, How Often Should We Forgive? When Peter asks a question in the middle of an otherwise rather simple chapter of Scripture, I think the answer Jesus gave him caught him completely off guard. I love it the way Scripture, where I would like to build my case here, addresses the issue and leaves it for us to apply it because the way Jesus handles things, there's always that penetrating application that doesn't let you squirm your way out. You find yourself cornered. And you feel the long index finger punching at your sternum, asking, What will you do about this? But first, the story. Peter comes to Jesus and asks him off the cuff. Chapter 18, verse 21 of Matthew. Lord, how often should I forgive someone?

It's a fair question. At what point do I start looking foolish? How many times does a person harm me before I begin to be a human doormat? How much is too much?

At what point does additional hurt reach its limit? And then he brings a number to the surface. It may sound like he just tossed it out there, picked it out of thin air.

No, not only not in your life. Seven times, he asks. I think Peter expected to be commended. I say that in those days, the rabbis taught three times. You forgive an individual three times from then on, no forgiveness. But seven times, Peter's double the number and added one for good measure. I think he expected a smile, and in fact, what he got was a surprising answer.

Jesus says, in effect, would you believe? Seventy times seven. Now, when I teach this, I always have to remember there are engineers present who will multiply and say, 490, huh? Like 491 and I can unload the truck on them, right? Wrong. Get the picture. An infinite number of times. Seventy times seven, times seven, times 700, times 7,000. Every time, any time, always.

That's the point. Jesus, the master teacher, never simply gave a quick answer and walked away. He often buttressed the answer with a story, love stories, and you do too. We love them because they pique our curiosity.

Where's this going? Furthermore, they leave us in our imagination to push away the limits. And we can go beyond the realm of reality as we take the story wherever. So it fits every one of us. Your name is in here and mine is in here.

We're all over the story. And the best part is when you get to the application, it penetrates like a hot poker going through butter. Right into the heart. So he begins with a comparison. The kingdom of heaven can be compared. Stop. You hear kingdom of heaven, you think of a place.

Wrong. Think of a lifestyle. When you want to live the kingdom life, when you want to model the life of Jesus, our word is when you want to be Christ-like, which would be kingdom of heaven being lived in an earthly setting.

So it can be compared to this. So Peter, since you're a follower of mine, I suggest you learn from the story I tell you. And I say in turn that we all learn as Peter learns.

And please observe in this story, as is true in most stories, there are three main characters. There is a king who is calling into account those who owe him money. There is a servant who owes him an infinite amount of money, which represents vertical forgiveness.

Don't miss that. As God who has forgiven us all our sins, past, present, future, east to west, all our sins forgiven, all of them, infinite forgiveness. That's the first servant.

That's what he illustrates. And then there's a second servant who is a friend of the servant who has just been forgiven. He owes a few dollars. The servant who has been forgiven won't forgive him. That's horizontal forgiveness. That's where we are. That's where it applies to us directly.

So let's look. Kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who decides to bring his accounts up to date with servants who owed money, who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. Stop.

Here we are in a story where you're able to imagine, imagine that. No one could repay millions of dollars. And the king is calling it into account, I want the money now.

Impossible. And realizing that he couldn't pay, certainly did not want his wife and children offered as a part of the payment. And the misery that would follow, the man falls down and pleads his case. Verse 26, please be patient with me and I will pay it all. Now observe the master.

Here's the king. Here is our God. When we come before him as broken people. Sinful to the core. Falling, failing.

Repeatedly in the wrong. And we come to him. Pleading that we be forgiven. And he notices that this man is contrite and broken and he's filled with pity for him and he releases him and forgives him the debt.

How good is that? The man is totally forgiven. Free, released on his way.

It's wonderful. Magnificent moment. As he leaves the king's presence, he runs into a friend of his. And we read of him beginning in verse 28. A fellow servant who owed him a few dollars.

And he grabbed him by the throat. Pay me what you owe me. Sounds like the IRS, doesn't it? Pay me what you owe me.

There's no bubble room here. Just a few dollars. So the man falls down and begs him for a little more time, asking for patience. And if you will be patient with me, I will pay it. But his creditor wouldn't wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full. It's an imaginary story.

Go with it. The problem with this scene is that it's observed by friends who know the story of the forgiven servant. And when they watch this, it troubles them. Verse 31, they're very upset so they return to the king and they told him everything that had happened. Then the king called the man that he had forgiven and he said to him, you evil servant.

It's our way of saying, what were you thinking? What's the matter with you? I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. And shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant just as I had mercy on you?

It's a good place to pause for a couple of very helpful principles that I want you to forget. First, to refuse to forgive another is hypocritical. Before you rationalize around and start dealing with all the wrong that was done and as deep as the wrong was, and I'm sure some of it was very injurious, hurt you deeply, broke you, broke others you loved, the ramifications of the wrongdoing you could go on for a long time. I know, I know, I know, but to refuse to forgive another is hypocritical.

Why? Because you have been forgiven an infinite amount. There is not one sin that would be marked against you.

He is able to bring us faultless before his presence with exceeding great joy as we pass from earth to heaven. Not once will he say, stand in the corner until you have done that probation. I've almost taken care of the things that you did. None of that. None of that. It's so foolish it's not worth going there. It's hypocritical to refuse to forgive another.

There's another principle and it's far more practical. To refuse to forgive inflicts inner torment. Stay there. To refuse to forgive another puts you in your prison.

Look for it. The angry, the angry king sent the man to prison, look, to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. How vivid is the word? I checked the same word elsewhere in Matthew chapter 8 verse 6. It's a reference to someone who is in, quote, terrible pain. So it represents terrible pain. It's used in 2 Peter 2 verse 8, referring to Lot, who was surrounded and oppressed by the conduct of unprincipled men. Where we read that Lot's soul was, and I quote, tormented day after day. This is a torture that torments day after day. Torturers refers to tormentors. One who refuses to forgive another harbors grudges, sustains bitter feelings, which leads to agonizing unrest and sleeplessness. And one builds the walls of his own self-made prison.

Please observe something that is easily overlooked. The story ends at verse 34. Look at your Bible. There is a thirty fifth verse that's not a part of that story, that imaginative story. It begins with, so shall my heavenly Father do to you. Wait. That's reality.

Verse 35, Jesus adds, that's what my heavenly Father, what's what he will do? Turn you over to torturers. That's why I said earlier, you may have something explained to you today that you've not realized before this day.

That explains why you can't sleep well. That explains why you can't seem to get past whatever this unforgiveness journey is that you're on. If you refuse to forgive another from your heart, it's because of the torturing. One of my mentors named Ray Stedman, now dead, fine expositor, describes this in these words, and I quote, This is a marvelously expressive phrase to describe what happens to us when we do not forgive another. It is an accurate description of gnawing, resentment and bitterness. The awful gall of hate or envy. It is a terrible feeling. We cannot get away from it. We feel strongly this separation from another, and every time we think of them, we feel within the acid of resentment. I love those words. We feel within the acid of resentment and hate, eating away at our peace and calmness. This is the torturing that our Lord says will take place. To which I respond when I read that, wow.

Wow. You may remember Louis Smeed's words. Not to forgive imprisons me in the past and locks out all potential for change. I thus yield control to another, my enemy. And I do myself to suffer the consequences of the wrong. I once heard an immigrant rabbi make an astonishing statement, adds Smeeds. Before coming to America, I had to forgive Adolf Hitler. I did not want to bring Hitler inside me to my new country.

So how much longer would you choose to remain in prison? That's a question. And that's a question you can answer. You're the only one that has the key to the cell. No one else has the key. Who could it be?

May I help? It could be your mother or your father. It could be a mother-in-law, father-in-law. A family member who took an unfair advantage of you.

But here you still live within that prison. Let it go. Let it go.

Well, the clock dictates that we draw our teaching time to a close. But let me urge you to be listening when Chuck Swindoll resumes this study in Matthew 18 because he'll be sharing a deeply personal story about forgiveness. This is Insight for Living, and we're midway through a message Chuck titled with Peter's Question of Jesus, How Often Should We Forgive?

To discover the resources available for today's topic, please visit us online at insightworld.org. Before we move on, I want to remind you that we've hand-selected one of Chuck's hallmark books to complement your study in Matthew. In The Grace Awakening, Chuck assures us that nothing will restore a broken relationship quite like grace, forgiveness, compassion, and mercy.

These are the lubricants in God's tool chest that allow the gears in our relationships to mesh together. And over the years, God has used The Grace Awakening to restore relationships, especially the relationship we cultivate with our Heavenly Father. To purchase a copy of Chuck's book called The Grace Awakening, go directly to insight.org slash offer. These daily programs are made possible, of course, because loyal friends like you step forward with voluntary donations. Your gifts allow us to provide Chuck's teaching on your radio station and the many other platforms such as our mobile app, the website, and the daily podcast. It's simple to participate when you call us.

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If you're listening in the United States, dial 1-800-772-8888 or go online to Insight.org. In March 2022, Insight for Living Ministries is hosting an unforgettable journey to Israel. Carefully plan to deepen your understanding of the Bible and draw you closer to God.

Chuck Swindoll. For thousands of years, no place has been more meaningful to God's children than the land of Israel. The rugged landscape reminds us to find refuge in God alone. The fertile valleys invite us to follow our shepherd. Jerusalem's position at the very center of the world announces the good news of Christ to every nation. And now you can see Israel with Chuck Swindoll and Insight for Living Ministries March 6-17, 2022. Every time I visited the Holy Land, I returned home with a refreshed heart for God and a renewed vision for the world.

Really, I mean it every time. And so I want you to have the same life-changing experience. To learn more, go to Insight.org slash events or call this number 1-888-447-0444. Insight for Living Ministries Tour to Israel is paid for and made possible by only those who choose to attend. Join us when Chuck Swindoll continues to answer the question, How Often Should We Forgive? That's Thursday on Insight for Living.

The preceding message, How Often Should We Forgive? was copyrighted in 2017 and 2021. And the sound recording was copyrighted in 2021 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.