The Acid of Anger

Welcome to the In Touch Podcast with Charles Stanley for Tuesday, June 13th. Is there something bothering you that you just can't quite identify? It could indicate the presence of unresolved resentment. Today's lesson in our study of 1 Samuel explains how to neutralize the acid of anger. Would you please turn to 1 Samuel chapter 18. 1 Samuel chapter 18. And it came to pass when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that's David and Saul talking now, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would let him go no more home to his father's house. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant because he loved him as his own soul.

And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him and gave it to David and his garments even to his sword and to his bow and to his girdle. And David went out where the service Saul sent him and behaved himself wisely. And Saul sent him over the men of war and he was accepted in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul's servants. And it came to pass as they came when David was returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women came out of all cities of Israel singing and dancing to meet King Saul with tabres, with joy and with instruments of music. And the women answered one another as they played and said, Saul had slain his thousands and David his ten thousands. And Saul was very wrong or angry. And the saying this pleased him and he said, they have a scribe of the David ten thousands and to me they have a scribe of thousands. And what can he have more but the kingdom?

That is, is that next? And Saul eyed David from that day and forward. And it came to pass on the morrow that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul and he prophesied in the midst of the house and David played with his hand as at other times and there was a javelin in Saul's hand. And Saul cast the javelin for he said, I will smite David even to the wall with it.

And David avoided out of his presence twice. And Saul was afraid of David because the Lord was with him and was departed from Saul. Now, anger is a universal problem and one that God deals with.

I want us to look at this passage of scripture and answer some very, very pointed questions that I believe every believer needs to examine when it comes to handling the emotion of anger. David has just killed Goliath and he's returned to Saul with the head of Goliath in his hand. And the scripture says that when David came back and he was honored because of this tremendous victory that all the women in Israel came out singing and playing on the musical instruments and probably without any real intention of doing this, they said, Saul has slain his thousands.

In their thinking, I'm sure because of the tremendous display of the miraculous power of God. But David has killed his 10,000 and all of a sudden there rose up in Saul a tremendous sense of jealousy, a jealousy that immediately spawned anger and resentment and bitterness and aggression and hostility. And that hostility and aggression and anger and resentment all zeroed in on one young man called David. And the scripture says, if you'll notice in verse 8, Saul was angry and the saying displeased him. Verse 9, and Saul eyed David from that day forward. And verse 10 says, it came to pass and the evil spirit came upon him. And verse 11 says, and Saul cast the javelin and he said, I will smite David to the wall. What an amazing expression of anger that the king of Israel anointed by God himself, that king could be willing to throw a javelin and pin that young man to the wall.

That is murder him in his own household. But I want to tell you something. There are Christians today as well as lost people today who are tossing, throwing, aiming, javelins, verbal javelins at people to pin them to the wall, to destroy their reputation, to annihilate and assassinate their character.

Why? Because anger like acid boils and fumes within them and oftentimes they do not even know that they're angry. Now, first of all, let's talk about, let's talk about this matter. Let's just examine anger for a few moments. What is anger? Anger is a sudden feeling of displeasure and antagonism toward what we assume to be an irritating factor. It can be an environmental situation or a person in our life, a sudden inner displeasure that begins to engulf the person who's feeling. Now the capacity or the all inclusiveness of that engulfment depends upon our ability to react properly toward the thing that is making us angry.

Now let me tell you something. The most dangerous, the most dangerous kind of anger is unconscious anger. That is anger that is brooding and burning and acid like on the inside and we don't even know it's there. We are angry at our situation in life. We don't like our circumstances. We don't like this job. We don't know what to do with our children. We don't like the world situation.

We don't like the economy. We get angry and let me tell you something. You cannot be sensitive to the needs of a person toward whom you are angry.

You can't do it because anger encases you in your own compartmental wall. Anger makes it impossible for you to be sensitive to other people's needs and this is why husbands and wives and teenagers and the gap between the young and the old. We say well we don't understand and sometimes a father or a mother becomes very angry toward their children. Therefore they become insensitive to their needs.

Therefore they can't talk their language. They can't feel the frustrations that kid feels and so what happens? Their anger builds up a distance between them and somehow they're insensitive to them and then they begin to lash out and their anger and their bitterness and their resentment begins to build. They begin to criticize their children and what do you have? You have a tremendous horrible split in a family and most people don't even realize it all began with anger. I'm not getting my way with my kids.

I want them to do what I want them to do when I want them to do it. I don't get my way so I'm angry. There are many parents today who've been angry with their parents. Many teenagers who are angry toward their parents. Anger when it is subconscious you see sometimes you can find the sweetest little old gentlest person and if you pull the top off them it'd just be like a volcano just blow sky high.

Why? Because they're suppressing their anger. Now let's look at this matter of righteous indignation. You say well now is all anger bad? All anger is not bad because if all anger were bad Jesus would have been bad and so would God because the Bible is filled with verses of scripture that speaks of God's anger and wrath toward the wickedness of man. You say well you mean I can get angry and it be legitimate?

Well that depends on what kind of anger you have. Now let's look at Jesus because when he walked into the temple after he'd braided him a nice long cord and he began to sling that thing around. When he walked into that temple I mean he moved that just like the strong man that he was. He started to heal somebody one day on the Sabbath day and the scripture says he turned to those and he said to them why are you angry? And he expressed anger toward their resentment toward him for healing a man on the Sabbath day. When you turn to the 23rd chapter of Matthew there is no more scathing passage of scripture in all the Bible than 23rd chapter of Matthew. I mean for the whole chapter he just pours it on the Pharisees and the Sadducees. Well he doesn't speak in kind gentle little words well you fellas are all just a bunch of hypocrites and so forth.

I mean he poured it on them. Now you say well that makes me feel pretty good because that's the way I do when I get angry but now wait a minute. The scripture says Ephesians look at that you ought to mark that one down because next time you get angry and you get to justifying it there's the other part of that passage is verse 26 Ephesians 4. Be ye angry and sin not let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Jesus didn't go to bed that night like you go to bed when you're angry.

Boiling, churning, taking a pill so he can sleep. He says don't let the sun go down on your anger. Now what was Jesus expressing when he was expressing that anger? He was expressing righteous indignation. There may be many names for it but the simple name is he was upset. He was angry.

Now if you're going to express righteous anger there must be several things that you'll have to check up on to see if you have them and I get this down. Number one his anger was controlled. Now listen there are times when we ought to get upset when we ought to be angry when we ought to be able to express toward that which is evil and that which is unrighteous we ought to be able to express righteous indignation but it is not an uncontrollable lose your head kind of anger. It is controlled deliberate directed spirit controlled anger. The second thing not only controlled but it must be anger without resentment. Here's what you did to me here's what I'm going to do in your return. You see anger that is retaliation anger that is here's my cause anger that is toward someone else a resentment toward people a caustic bitterness that grows and boils and like acid it just fumes and fumes and fumes listen that kind of anger my friend will eat you up on the inside and literally destroy you as a person. Righteous indignation is controlled anger righteous indignation knows no resentment righteous indignation is unselfish it is not anger because somebody has wronged you and most Christians express that kind of anger and I'll tell you my friend that is illegitimate that is pure sin he says put away that kind of anger and then the fourth thing that is essential here is that it must not be against people you see now we can see people do or say things and we can become very angry at the act we can become very angry at the situation we can become angry at the circumstance they create while we are loving that dear brother we can become very very angry so when you become angry towards someone else unless it is controlled unless it is unselfish unless it is without resentment unless your anger has those characteristics and you know that it is not against people my friend that anger is absolute sin spelled s i n you say but you don't know what they've done to me that has absolutely nothing to do with it listen watch this you may say that's what I'm angry at I've been mistreated I've been done in but I want to show you the problem if you don't deal with anger and hostility properly it'll float on you let me give you an example right here in this passage in chapter 20 Saul and Jonathan having a conversation verse 30 then Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan and he said to him now listen his anger was kindled against David because these women were praising him now his anger is kindled against Jonathan and he said to him thou son of the perverse rebellious woman do not I know that thou has chosen the son of Jesse to thine own confusion and in the confusion of thy mother's nakedness listen watch this a perfect example of what uncontrolled anger does it not only will zero in on the thing out there that really irritates you at the beginning but when you can't get your way and you keep on expressing resentment hostility and bitterness out there because it does not relieve you what happens then you find something a little closer that you can be critical and sarcastic and gossip about want to tear down somebody else had you asked Saul do you love Jonathan sure I love Jonathan but his anger and his hostility and his jealousy and his pride and his arrogance and his resentment and his bitterness toward David destroyed his own home here they are talking and so verse 32 and Jonathan answered Saul his father and said to him wherefore shall he be slain why do you want to kill David what have he done and Saul cast a javelin at him to smite him whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined of his father's in other words here's what he's saying you see Jonathan knew that his father's anger had reached such a pinnacle of explosion when he picked up that javelin and threw it at his own son the scripture says that Jonathan knew who he was really throwing it at was a David and my friend listen that ought to say something to us very loudly and very clearly that if you do not deal with your anger properly and quickly sometimes you will destroy and drive out and separate the ones you love the very very most because you can't deal with your anger here he was trying to pin his own son to the wall not because he was that angered his son but you see his anger and bitterness toward David he transferred to his own son now what I want to show you in just a moment here is how to deal with anger how does a Christian deal with anger first of all you confess it that is you're willing to acknowledge and express it in three directions first of all to God Lord I am angry and I know I'm angry I've got hostility I've got bitterness I've got resentment I've got jealousy I've got proud I've got all the rest of it it's in my heart and I'm just angry secondly I must be willing to confess it to myself now listen there is a fine line here between being honest with God being honest with yourself you can tell God something and never be honest with yourself about it at all to confess it myself I must be willing to say Lord I am angry within me I am expressing anger I'm feeling anger I know that I'm angry inside you see got to be willing to acknowledge it to myself I am angry and Lord here is the reason I'm angry oh Lord I don't know why I am but I know I am and I need you to help me to get over this matter of being angry I must confess it to him I must confess it to myself and the third thing is this and that is you've got to be willing to forgive those who are responsible now let me tell you how to do that you get by yourself or if you've got some counsel somebody you can trust and if you've got somebody else with you you have an extra chair make it an empty chair and if it's your father you don't go to him you seat him in the chair now he's not really there but in your mind he's there and you tell him that you really forgive him for programming into your life low self-esteem that I won't ever measure up that I won't ever amount to anything that I'm a nobody that really don't count that physically I'm too thin or too fat I'm ignorant I'm not a good student and all you forgive him as you trace back the things that have contributed to what you're feeling you put everybody in that chair that God brings to your mind and you forgive them for their part in contributing to whatever you're having to deal with in your life now let me say one other little thing there are times when anger can become so deeply rooted and so entrenched in the human life that sometimes you may need help beyond just confession to help you to be able to trace it all back and get it at its very root and let me say one last thing I know people who are angry toward their mother or their father to the people they work with to the people they associate with their friends their social acquaintances but I know just like you know that there are some people who are angry at God come to church read the Bible they sing hymns they pray and everything is just sweet but deep down inside it's all acid is there anything in your life you'd like to blame God for let me ask you something do you think it's possible that one of the reasons for the frustration of your heart is that you're angry you so how do I get rid of my anger toward God tell him about it don't hold back anything just confess it to him and tell him that you want him to take it out of your heart and if you need some help to discuss with somebody he'll send somebody your way to help you to be able to trace back the root cause of why you are angry at God but listen anger with your brother will keep you out of fellowship with God anger toward God will keep you out of fellowship with him and I want to encourage you this morning if you've never trusted Jesus Christ as your Savior take the first step and you won't accept his son Jesus Christ as your Savior you want him to deal with your anger you don't know how to deal with it but you're willing for him to deal with your heart God will take the first step towards you if you'll allow him to deal with your anger thank you for listening to today's podcast the acid of anger if you'd like to know more about Charles Stanley or in touch ministries stop by in touch dot o-r-g this podcast is a presentation of in touch ministries Atlanta Georgia