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Behaviors that Bind Us - Part 1

In Touch / Charles Stanley
The Truth Network Radio
June 2, 2022 12:00 am

Behaviors that Bind Us - Part 1

In Touch / Charles Stanley

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June 2, 2022 12:00 am

Does something seem to have a hold on you deep down inside?


Welcome to the intense podcast for Thursday, June 2 struggle with guilt from your past that liberating truth about how you can be free from behaviors that mind while so many people so unhappy and anxious, disturbed, unsettled and full of discontentment.

No matter what they have, who they have what their position what the status is in life is still discontent a lot of people able to cover that up rather well and so they move along in life and smile on the outside but deep down inside the still full of discontent. On the other hand of those people who don't even try to cover it up anymore. They just act out live out shows an account loves their very discontent in life. What is it, even though they have been saved by the grace of God there still discontent somehow deep down inside, something seems to bind them.

Something seems to have a hold on them. That seems to dictate their actions and their attitudes is not what they like is not what they want, not what they asked for. They just can't seem to identify. What is it on the inside. And that drives them that seeming at times forces them to act in a way that I want to act. They found themselves responding in turning around and looking and asking themselves the question, why do I act this way.

Why do I respond the way I respond. That's what I want to talk about in this message entitled the behaviors that bind us in a life those actions and attitudes that you not can understand. Somewhere along the way we have to trace them back to some cause in some particular source when talking about behavior patterns that bind us in our life and keep is what discontent unsettled oftentimes anxious for the most part very unhappy. So when you turn if you will, to the first Corinthians 13 chapter this first epistle to the Corinthians. And you know this is the chapter about love. And Paul is been describing what love is all about and then he comes down to this latter part and he says beginning in verse 11. He says when I was a child I used to speak as a child think is a child reason as a child when I became a man, put away childish things. Now all of us probably sometime in their life have our act childish and so what does that have to do with those things that bind us. That's what I want to talk about is what I like to do is to identify the few moments what those things are and I want you to think about for just a moment because let's trace all of this back when you and I were born, God gave us the course of mind.

The brain, heart, spirit, all the rest when you came into this world, we began to be program. Some people might say that you and I began to be programmed even before we were born. Let's say that at birth you not begin to be program that is at mindless program was it programmed with it was programmed with either the affection of a lack of affection from our parents. That is, in this great system of hours. It's like the strong impressions that came from our parents and those who are around us and his regret for those that teaches, for example, the toddlers and people who are our relationships and so forth. All of them began to place into our little minds, ideas, thoughts, they became a part about feelings and became a part of our personality so that all of us where programmed preprogrammed listen, not necessarily against our will, but involuntarily. Therefore, the apostle Paul said, putting away childish things.

He was primarily speaking of spiritual things, but also emotional things and I think that many people who are Christians who really love God, who really want to be what God wants them to be and yet they have those things are going to let the can identify the hidden enemy and understand why they act the way they asked how many of us have said got. I don't know why I said what I said I don't know what acting in that passion gone. I don't know why I act that way respond that way I don't know why this goes on in my life. Well, it's one thing for something to happen, but if something goes on and on and on and on. We should take at least a moment to stop and ask yourself the question, Lord, am I being controlled by something that I'm not aware of. Is there an emotion of feeling is there something that happened back on the my life somewhere that I am responding to that in this present situation and so all of us run up to be men, all of you the relatively women, the little girl is still there. The little boy is still there and if you and I want to be whole persons we have to learn to identify those childish things in our life and learn how to do them. So what I like to do is to identify some of these so not all of them but to identify some of them talk about just a moment and then this talk about how to deal with as I can tell you that you can deal with them. God can set you free. I'm grateful he got. I can tell you I'm certainly sure in my own heart that I'm not free of all of mine but I'm grateful to God. As I look back over the years and see how he is identified issues in my life that I've had to deal with and realize where it came from.


Listen once you trace it to its source. This in your own the way to being delivered from those emotions that binders behavioral patterns that causes all kinds of discontent because you see if you continually responding to present-day situations out of your past childhood, then you going to cause all, heart and discontent to yourself and those around you that you going to cause hard feelings you're going to cause misunderstandings and utility discontent and unhappy yourself, why because you don't want to act that way you would say I don't know why I do I want to show you while you been so let's talk about what some of these things might be well there are lots and lots and lots of them and solicitors begin with this one of those ideas that gets impressed upon our grid system very early in life is measure up measure up.

And so what happens child comes along and no matter what he or she does.

They can't quite measure up to the father's expectation of the mothers expectation about and so what happens, a little girl grows up thinking, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try I can never please my mother and how often have I heard this from men and women are like a group in a situation no matter what I did I couldn't please them. When the kid tries his best, and he doesn't measure up. Here's the effect in that grid system. As a result of that kind of instruction teaching that child goes through life, no matter what I did and never be enough you can actually destroy a child's initiative when they grew up in the account of the situation, no matter what it is not going to work is not going to ever be enough. They berate themselves they feel very very guilty they feel in adequate in life and often times feel extremely rejected. Why, because you know if you can't believe in, and you can't really and truly please your parents, and of all the people the world. I believe the kid was the places his father or his mother about certain about if you want to destroy anybody's initiative. You just keep telling them measure up measure up measure up in the thing that makes it so painful, especially when when the measuring rod of the measuring tape is so absolutely listen when it's so foggy and unclear and you asked the measure up and you know what they never know when and if and how they can never measure up in their grid system that child.

That person when they become adults.

It affects their life and their relationships and what happens is it creates anger and creates resentment and creates hostility the way the Lord give up and often times things that they do.

They become very visual is because they feel they'll never measure up, no matter what. So what you do you give them a challenge and give them a job and they turn it down.

What is a thing I'll never measure up second thingamajig notice and that is a desire to have and needs met immediately what what happens.

The little Chama little babies born if that baby is wet.

Whether they do they cry, they get hungry they cry they yell they scream and they carry on until what did you give them something to eat and so that's a natural, normal way. I suppose that they have. They get our attention.

What happens now. There's nothing wrong with the child crying when they're hungry at all when their witness that there are divergent so that they don't like that so they cry to get attention. You know what happens. People grow up, and unless the child learns early in life, you can't have everything you want when you want it. There's nothing on the cleaning of the Chama talk about that but when that child grows out of that babyhood and when they don't get what they want they scream and yell and holler until the parents give it to the tragedy is when a parent when a mother or father yields to the screaming and the Holland because they want it now when they pass.

Babyhood is what happened. They grow up, and that little child in them when they want something they wanted. Now and so what happens during your teenagers. They wanted now they want to Carnell, they won't find close now, they want the father mother's credit card now they want freedom now they want liberty, now they want sex now they want alcohol they will everything else now they gotta have it now. If a parent does not discipline the child early in life to teach them this truth. You can't have everything. When you wanted. There is a correct time. Analyze time for everything that God provides for us. You know what happens. They grow up, and because they can't have what they want. Then they lie about it.

Then they steal and all kinds of things develops in the person's life when they grow up with a childish attitude if I wanted. Now I want it now and I'm going to have it now, and I grew up on our crowd and yelled and screamed and threw enough.

That's parents gave me what I wanted. So therefore I'm going I'm going to keep on how the screaming when I'm an adult now. They don't holler and scream the same way they did as a child, but my friend, the truth is there actions of the same.

A balky habit.

Now I'm unhappy I leave I walk away 1/3 attitude, childish attitude is temper tantrums that you think will we get over that match and and adulthood, not necessarily people still throw fits they still do the same thing when I listen if I don't get what I want, what happens here. Kids playing together and you got this balm I got this bat when it might be in all when I go play my way into my ball and going home alone girls playing dolls and somebody somebody does like with Ellensburg. They state does not go home.

So what happens the girl if I can have my way. I throw a fit. You know what a lot of people they don't get their way. They throw fitness. Sometimes those fits. A very quiet, all that is his spiritual childish immaturity throwing temper tantrums. Gotta have it now or if you don't if you don't plant my way. I leave and that this is probably one of the basic problems with people often times, oftentimes walk away from a gentleman, a Rensselaer samosas artist walked away module quite well.

They did dozens on dozens what is it ever occur to you that God may have been trying to say send you a lot, you know, I just can stay and I couldn't hang in there for that we see it's very unwise to respond to the present situation, circumstance out of my childishness because that's the way I used to respond as a child does not make it legit of me to respond to data. This present situation when oftentimes missing you and I can be the objects of other people's anger and bitterness and resentment and hostility that really that really doing it to someone else.

Listen, where all products of our environment. That's why so very important that you not create the environment in our family with these children so that they respond, listen, they grow up with a sense of affirmation and a sense of self-esteem and a sense of self-worth because when they get older they going to act out. We all are going to act out in listen there will be something that triggers something the back there in the past that causes pain. Once something listen even similar it will trigger that will be going to do the little boys going to come out little girls going to come out and they can respond and we can think. Forgive me log on the San Juan world respond the way I did. That is the reason for it because of those kind of attitudes well what about for example, people who grew up in an atmosphere of fear.

Well the parents so you know what I do something, we don't have enough problem not going to be and pay the bills this month.

I cut the light so we we can't go anywhere can have bacon was a child grows up here fear of not having enough men said to me some time ago. He said I grew up in a family and my mother said to me, the poor house is always around the corner. You know what happens when a child grows up. Not having enough they will naturally normally be very materialistic because the parents are putting their grid system. You got to have enough you got to work hard.

You got to save you. You gotta make money because the poorhouses right around the corner. It is a terrible way. Well, everybody doesn't put it in those terms with this whole idea of materialism. This is where you security allows its origin. Must. This is where the emphasis is and so what happens well takes the place of God and yet you know the Bible says is like a bird you know it here today gone. The market comes quick and you can lose it quickly and so what happens they lose a few times and despair and remorse begins to set in.

You see, we must teach our children that our sense of security is not in things but it's in a relationship you see is not so much what you do, it's what you implant within the child's mind and heart they going to grow up and they going to keep on acting out those feelings. What about a distorted view of God.

For example, will how does a child get a distorted view of God is because the parent says God's mean God's bad though his what happens child grows up and relates to his or her father if the father's good and kind and gentle and loving is what happens that China it's easy for that child to grow up believing that God is a good God. God loves me. God is gentle and kind and loving child grows up in a home where the parents renewed crude say nasty things, use foul language, care nothing about the things of God abusive.

Oftentimes in their language or even physically. So here is the major issue. The major person alive his dad don't like my dad and how many times have I heard this. My dad never hugged me. Dad never told me I did a good job. Dad never put his arms around and sometimes a girl say my dad never told me he loved me never told me I was pretty never seem to care. Never hugged me, never remembered my birthday so I was a girl. What kind of impression has been built into this grid. I'm not important.

The most important person my life not important so they grow up we say God's a good God, which is see the little child who gets the impression about God from the father. You tell them that God is good. Listen, I told her no people to know that most people do not think in terms of God being a good loving, gentle, kind God they see him as a taskmaster. They see him as a God of justice. They see him as a God of punishment is seen as a God is always keeping records and in keeping tabs on things. What happens we start on what a loving father. It doesn't match what the little child learned early in life that that key figure father crude, renewed, harsh, difficult couldn't please him no matter what and your thinking how the world cannot please God. Well, it's not because somebody taught them they could simply because impression that little mind a little heart that this figure to submit to my earthly father.

I'm to be obedient to him on the do what he says next thing to God in that person's life and they go through life never being able to please, never measuring up. Whether lots of those were childish things. The development a person's life, and you probably have been able to maybe identify something in your life, and he put it this way if something keeps cropping up that gives your problem you keep responding in a certain way, ask yourself this question. Lord, is there something back there in my life that happened that I've never traced back to see what is, is there something back there that I need to deal with so that I can be free and not respond in an improper way when things don't go my way. There is a segment of psychology, there was the go and reported it is able tell me about your past all of us can dig up another job in our passes like a bowl of poison soup.

Who wants to look at all the now if you looking back to see what the source was in the you deal with it.

That's one thing we just going to some counseling. They disturb look back. Yonder your parents Becky on the back counter that will you know back beyond that, nothing. I mean after all this a real living in the present. We assume responsibility for the past we forgive ourselves we forgive the person and then what happens we say God I want you to make me a whole person.

I want to be an odd dolt believer.

I don't want the childish things finding me and enslaving men and longer claiming that I think your release and your liberty and your freedom and then listen you aggressively go after those things in the crop up in your life will free you up. Thank you for listening to behaviors that bind we would like to invite you to join us in celebrating 45 years have God years to learn more. The presentation of ministries Atlanta, Georgia

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