Welcome to the In Touch Podcast with Charles Stanley for Monday, May 26. Bitterness and anger are destructive, but they can be wiped away through the healing balm of forgiveness. Let's continue with more on forgiving one another. Jesus had a lot of things to say about forgiveness. And as he admonished us over and over and over again to be forgiving, he gave us the pattern of his own life as he forgave.
But in the 18th chapter of the book of Matthew, he gives us a parable about forgiveness and he begins it in the 21st verse of the 18th chapter in a statement to Peter as Peter asked him a question. The scripture says in verse 21, And when he had begun to settle them, there was brought to him one who owed him ten thousand talents. But since he did not have the means to repay, his Lord commanded him to be sold along with his wife and children and all that he had in repayment to be made. The slave, therefore, falling down, prostrated himself before him, saying, Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.
Now there would be no possible way for him to repay that. And the Lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii. And he seized him and began to choke him, saying, Pay back what you owe. So his fellow slave fell down and began to entreat him, saying, Have patience with me and I will repay you.
Now he could possibly repay the debt that he owed. He was unwilling, however, but when it went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their Lord all that had happened. Then summoning him, his Lord said to him, You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you entreated me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, even as I had mercy on you? And his Lord moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. So shall my Heavenly Father also do to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.
Now, the real purpose for which Jesus told this, in essence, is simply this. You and I have no right to withhold forgiveness towards someone else. For the little they have done to us compared to the much we have done against Almighty God when God has forgiven us so freely over and over and over again.
You and I have been forgiven by the grace of Almighty God. So as we think about forgiveness and forgiving one another, there's several things that I want us to deal with in this passage. And the first one begins with this conversation with Peter, and that is the limitations of our forgiveness.
Now, listen to what he says. Peter came and said to him, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times. And Jesus said to him, I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to 70 times seven. Now, in essence, Jesus is saying that our forgiveness, listen, our forgiveness has no limitations. The limitations of our forgiveness.
God has knocked the walls out of both sides and both ends out. We are to be forgiving over and over and over and over again. Now, the next question that comes to limitations is this forgive of what? Now, some things I can forgive for, but some things you've heard people say, that's where I draw the line.
Let me ask you a question. What have you ever done in your life that Jesus said, that's where I draw the line? Jesus doesn't draw any lines, does he? When he went to the cross, he stretched out his arms and everything you and I will ever even think about doing, things we would do if we thought we would never get caught, everything we've ever done, everything we'd like to do, things that we may have done we didn't want to do, everything you have ever possibly thought or done, he says was nailed to the cross and you're forgiven. And Jesus Christ never has drawn a line on you. So the limitations of our forgiveness are rather simple. No limitations on what I'm to be forgiving for and no limitations on how many times I must be willing to forgive.
Second thing I want you to notice here, very important thing, and that is the timing. When are you and I to forgive those who wrong us? Any time someone wrongs you and you say, and suppose they say to you, I know I made a mistake, I want you to forgive me, so I've got to think about it. I want you to know in the moment you said I've got to think about it, Satan got a stronghold in your life right then. When are we to forgive those who sin against us?
Well, let's put it two ways. First of all, we're to forgive them instantly. We're to forgive them instantly, immediately. You say, well, now I've got to think about this.
Why have you got to think about it? He says we're to forgive those who sin against us. If I can forgive instantly, I am never in bondage.
The moment I start caressing it and holding and begin to develop an unforgiving spirit, what happens? The root of bitterness springs forth and the root of bitterness begins to grow in my life in that moment. The quicker you can forgive, the better. We should forgive instantaneously, completely, absolutely, and totally in that moment, wipe it out. Jesus didn't hang it upon the cross, say, Father, if they'll ask me to forgive them, I'll forgive them right now before I die. They were forgiven. And the truth is that you and I are to walk.
Listen to me carefully. We are to walk in the attitude, in the spirit. We are to walk in the sphere of continuing unending forgiveness toward those who wrong us. So that at no moment in my life am I to be in bondage to an unforgiving spirit. I can't ever justify it.
I know some people I've met, some folks who are living in their late 60s and 70s. And you know what? The root of bitterness has absolutely soured them on life. An unforgiving spirit will corrupt you.
It will destroy you. It'll absolutely steal from you and cheat from you the peace and the joy and the fullness and contentment in life. There's no such thing as feeling contentment in life when you are in bondage.
The steel cables of an unforgiving spirit have you bound up in life. You see, the truth is it doesn't make any difference what anybody does to us. Listen, you and I are the ones who choose whether we're in bondage or not. Those who wrong us don't choose that.
It makes no difference what they do. If we forgive them the moment they do it, they are in bondage until they get right with God. You and I are continuously walking in the freedom of forgiveness. And no man or woman is free until their spirit flows with forgiveness. My spirit is to be one that is characterized by forgiveness, always forgiving.
Now listen to me carefully. You can never be put in the situation of being in bondage because of an unforgiving spirit unless you consent to being imprisoned by it. Nobody can put you there.
You consent to it. You build your own prison house and Jesus says, I've come to set you free. We don't have to be in prison. But if I'm not going to be in prison, my forgiveness must begin immediately. Now, if I'm walking in the spirit of forgiveness, here's the whole key. If I understand that Christ is my life and I understand and really believe with all of my heart that he is the sovereign God of this universe and he's in control of my life and my life is committed to him, then nothing can touch me, whether it be word, actions or deeds, without his permissive will. The angel of the Lord encampeth round about those who fear him and he delivers them.
All of us who are his children are in camped about with the angel of the Lord. Nothing can touch us without his permission. Therefore, anything that touches us, either by word or deed, has to do so by the permissive will of God.
Therefore, if I really and truly believe Romans 8 28 and God allows somebody to be critical or to harm me or to hurt me in some fashion, I must accept the fact that walking in the spirit of forgiveness, I must forgive them because God has allowed that. I didn't say he instigated it. I didn't say it was his will for it to happen. I said he allows some things that are not his will.
He allows them and takes advantage of the pain and the suffering in order to expose weakness and wrong in our life, to expose failures in our life, to expose areas that need to be worked on and to drive us deeper and closer to him. Somebody had done something to me and it was not important what it was. And I remember my first instant I thought, now, Lord, I can respond in one of two ways.
Then I began to realize it just came quickly to my mind. It doesn't make any difference. Do you believe Romans 8 28? Yes.
But what difference? You just have to forgive them immediately. Just forgive them right now.
In fact, I can hardly remember the details because when I forgave them, I forgot. What does Jesus always say? Your sins are forgiven. You see, we don't have any right as believers to hold anything over anybody else. Does the Bible anywhere say that you and I as a believer have rights? How many rights did Jesus have on a cross? There he was hanging upon the cross. How many rights did he have up there dying? Did Jesus say, Father, what about my rights? No. You know, the truth is, when you and I trusted Jesus Christ as our savior, you may not have thought about it.
Nobody ever told you. But in reality, we died to all personal rights of defense. The only free people I know are people who are walking in the spirit of forgiveness. A lot of folks who are uptight, full of stress, full of tension, critical in their spirit, full of depression.
You know why? You can't be healthy and have an unforgiving spirit. There's no such thing. You say, well, I'm pretty healthy.
That's on the surface. You hang in there, brother. It's going to pop out somewhere and you're going to realize how sick you are in your spirit, in your emotions, and maybe one of these days in your body. It is a disastrous thing to harbor an unforgiving spirit.
Somebody says, well, now, wait a minute. What about those folks who wronged me and now they're dead? They've already passed on. My father, my mother, my sister, my brother, my parents. What about them? God certainly isn't going to hold me responsible now that they've died.
Yes, he is. You say, well, I can't go to him and ask him to forgive me for having an unforgiving spirit. And I certainly can't go to them and tell them what they did wrong. So I can't forgive them.
Yes, you can. You say, can you talk to the dead? You don't have to talk to the dead. You'd be surprised the people have asked me, how do I settle up with my parents who've already passed on? And I realized that my attitude toward them was not right and I have an unforgiving spirit. How do I deal with that? I'll tell you exactly how to deal with it. You set your daddy in that chair and you sit in this chair. Your daddy may be dead 10 years, 20 years or 40 years.
You just set him in the chair and you say, Dad, something I want to deal with. And you talk to him just like he was alive or your mother just like she was alive. And you confess that you had an unforgiving spirit toward her and how all these years you've harbored that. And you want to ask her to forgive you.
And if you've harbored something toward her, you just tell her, tell him, I want you to know that I forgive you. Release you. It's all over. My friends, you can talk to God, put in your own words.
Thank him for it and get up, walk away. And it's all over. It's just as good as if they'd have been there. Just as meaningful to God as if they'd been there.
You don't ever have to be in bondage to someone who wronged you and has already died and gone on. And you still harboring it in your heart. Think about this.
And I meet people like this deep down inside. They're just eaten up. They think they're dead. They're gone. And you know what sometimes that does?
It creates anger and more hostility and creates more unrest and more tension, more stress because they feel so helpless and hopeless. They've already gone. I won't ever be able to settle it.
And here I am. Yes, you can. All you need is two chairs and you can settle it. Just sit down and tell them like it is and get your life straightened out with the other person. God will free you. We don't have any justification for having an unforgiving spirit. Now, how do you go about that? If you just jot these down. If I'm going to be forgiving toward others. First of all, I must repent of my attitude.
I must have a change of attitude about my relationship to that person, what they've done, what they may have said about me. Secondly, emotionally, I must release them. OK, Lord, I just released them. Don't hold them accountable any longer.
I'll leave that all to you. I must release them. Thirdly, I must recognize and you see, this is what anchors it in.
I recognize them as a tool in the hand of God to expose the weakness in my life. And I thank him. I thank him for having been wronged. Because, you see, listen, if you're wronged and you respond rightly, what does it say?
You're growing. If you respond wrongly and you make it right, you're still growing. So you see, all the wrong isn't bad. Sometimes when people wrong you and you can honestly say, Hallelujah, I don't feel any of that. You're forgiven.
Praise the Lord, you're forgiven. Listen, if you're never wronged, you won't even know how free you are. And when you are wronged, you discover whether you're free or not. So if you're the kind of person who's always wanting to please everybody so they won't wrong you, forget it. Let them wrong you. Then you'll discover how free or how imprisoned you are.
Next. Remember God's grace and goodness and love towards you. How many times he's forgiven you. You see, that's part of the forgiving process.
Just remember what he's done for you. Wouldn't you agree he's forgiven you things that if you were God, you probably wouldn't have forgiven yourself for? He's forgiven you.
You know, the Bible says, If any man lack faith, let him ask of God who giveth to all men liberally and abraighteth not. You know what that means? He doesn't come back, work you over for it. When God forgives you, he forgets it. The next word is reconciliation. If I'm going to have an unforgiving spirit, I need to go to that person and make reconciliation, whatever is necessary to get our relationship right. Then the last word is to rely upon the Lord to give you the wisdom to know how to do it and the strength and the courage and the faith to do it. Now, you have to put all those words into your situation of what's happening. Now, let me just say one last thing at this point. What are the evidences that you have a forgiving spirit towards someone who's wronged you?
Jot these down. What are the evidences? Number one, the evidence that you have forgiven is that your feelings against them. Your feelings against them are no longer there. You see them, but you don't feel what you used to feel. You're just sort of free of what you used to feel. You're free of that.
You're either imprisoned or free. So your feelings against them, they're just not there. Secondly, you can accept the other person. I don't mean that you accept that you like everything about them, but that you can accept them, that you accept them the way they are. That's the way they are in their weaknesses, their frailties, their sins and their low self-esteem, trying to hit you, work on you, make you look bad to make themselves look better.
You accept them the way they are. You see, to have a forgiving spirit, I must be willing to be understanding toward the other person. What motivated them to say that about me?
What motivated them to act that way toward me? God, what's going on in their life that they don't understand? God, what are you saying to them? And then I'll tell you when you know that you have a forgiving spirit, when your concern about the person who wronged you is greater than your concern about what they did to you, you know you have a forgiving spirit. Now let me ask you a question.
When you turn 360 degrees, does anybody's name, anybody's face pop up in your life? Whether living or dead, toward whom you have an unforgiving spirit. If so, I want to encourage you to have the courage to deal with that. And listen, when you deal with it, what you've really done, you've not only freed them, but most of all, you have freed yourself.
Don't you ever forget this. You can never be free until you're willing to be forgiving. Thank you for listening to part two of Forgiving One Another. For more inspirational messages like this one, visit our online 24-7 station. And if you'd like to know more about Charles Stanley or In Touch Ministries, stop by InTouch.org. This podcast is a presentation of In Touch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia.
