This is the Truth Network. Welcome to Ignite the Light Ministry's radio and podcast. It is our mission to help listeners develop a deeper relationship with Jesus by sharing what the Bible says and what it means. We aim to encourage and equip you to serve others, share the gospel, and reflect Christ in every aspect of your life. I'm Pastor Wyatt Cudd.
Thank you for tuning in.
So today we are going to be continuing our look at Colossians. Uh three. verses 18 through chapter 4, verse 1.
So this is roles and relationships.
Now, last time I preached, I felt it necessary to really zero in on the role of husband and wife, but this time we're going to be looking at the passage as a whole.
Now, I do want to acknowledge my own limitations here. I have personally not experienced all of these roles, but I'm going to do my best to cover them. As always, congregation, I ask you to test every word that comes out of this pulpit against God's word. I am human. I make mistakes.
So take God's word over mine. and I want to make this personal request. I ask you to pray for me in this role. Pray for me that God gives me wisdom and discernment and the right words to say. as I attempt to tackle difficult and sometimes controversial topics.
I have nothing but love for you, but that doesn't mean I'm going to always say everything right.
So I ask you, please, pray for me. Is that correct for you?
Alright, let's jump in the passage here. Colossians 3 verses 18. Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands. as is fitting to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Children. Obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers. Do not embitter your children. or they will become discouraged.
Slaves. Obey your earthly masters in everything. And do it. Not only when their eye is on you to curry favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart.
as working for the Lord. Not human masters. Since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.
Masters, provide for your slaves what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a master. It had So First and foremost. Let's talk about what this section is. Uh this is a list of generalized Precepts. For living out the Christian life in our unique roles and relationships to each other.
And all I mean by that is it's not the same as moral absolutes, the way a command, like, you shall have no other gods before me. Like that is a moral command in every situation, every circumstance that is applicable. It is a moral absolute. It's true no matter the circumstance. But for these precepts, there are circumstances Where you should honor God's will over your spouses or parents.
However, these precepts are certainly 100% informed by God's moral law and God's wisdom. These precepts are true in most circumstances.
So we have Husband and wife. We have parent and child, and then we have slave and master. These are the dynamics that we're going to be looking at, and we're going to go in that order.
So verse 18 to 19: Wives, submit yourselves to your husband, as is fitting to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
So we spent the whole sermon last time I was here delving into these dynamics between male, female, husband, wife. Uh the points that we talked about were as follows. Men and women are not the same, they hold different roles. The family, the household starts in marriage. Family is one man.
One woman Ideally, they like each other, and then however many children they decide to have. This is the family as God designed it.
Now if we tamper with any one part, pull something out here, or try to jam a forward object in, problems can arise. We need strong, godly men and women willing to rise to their calling together. Husbands are designed as the head of the family, bearing the ultimate weight and responsibility for the welfare of his wife and children. Wives are the indispensable irreplaceable undergird to the husband. We have complementing roles of equal value.
Husbands. Love your wives like Christ. Till your very last breath. And Christ's love, it does not dominate. It does not insist on its own way.
Do not demand submission. Instead, become a strong, godly leader worth following. That is your gift to your wife. Wives, honor your husband as your shield, your protector, your provider. He is your superman.
When there is trouble, he is your foxhole to jump in. And when he's behaving the way he ought, he will put you first and sacrifice everything for you. Godly submission is the wife's gift. to the husband.
Now I've already told the men not to demand this, so I will tell you for him. Submit to your husband. And if that word makes you cringe, Let wear the pants. Yeah. All right.
Uh verse 20 here. Children. Obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. So This is gonna be a fun story to tell. My parents are here.
Yeah. So when I was a kid I used to hate vegetables. I think your taste buds change as you get older, but when I was a kid, I couldn't stand them. And I heard this line. I'm sorry.
There are starving children in Africa that would kill to have food like this. That never made sense to me. How is this? gonna help them. This is the hill we're dying on.
Then God sent me to Africa. And I was able to confirm my suspicions. They also Prefer pizza. There are starving children in Africa.
Now, what got me in trouble as a kid was saying, well, Box it up and send it to them. Sure, I got grounded for that one. But my parents set the rules, and I was to follow them. Even if I didn't understand, and this is on the basis that they know more than me, they've had a head start. And that's the dynamic that Paul is describing here.
Parents set the rules. They are to be firm, fair, and well thought through, and children are to follow these rules.
Now the failure of one party certainly makes it harder on the other party to succeed in their role.
Now, we all have a sin nature. That runs contrary to this godly dynamic being laid out. including babies. Babies are the cutest thing on planet Earth with their wide eyes so full of wonder.
Well I think so. But even babies are affected by sin nature. And as a kid grows up, that sin nature will become more evident. They're called the Terrible Twos for a reason. Children have a natural curiosity and desire to explore, but the sin nature taints this.
So they must be monitored. We must watch the subject and the means of their exploration of the world. For example It's good for a kid to read. But it's not good for a kid to read everything. If you get my meaning.
Um Now that's a problem with the subject. It is good for a kid to try new foods like roughly, but it is not good for them to be stealing Kroger produce in order to do it. That's a problem with the means.
So, it's the role of the parent to set appropriate boundaries and rules for the child to grow in. It's the role of the child to follow these rules.
So imagine a playground. You have swings over here, you got monkey bars, you got a slide, you got other children to play tag with. It's a safe environment for a child to grow in.
Now, you know, maybe they go down the slide a little too fast. Face plant and have a touch with their own mortality. Maybe they have conflict with other kids. But even these are good lessons. It is a healthy and controlled environment.
Childhood. is a playground. that parents build for their children to learn, grow, and mature in. But the only thing that separates it from the rest of the world is that fence. And as they grow, we widen the fence and allow new challenges in.
So, there's several ways we can mess up here. We can build no fence. We can turn a blind eye to the child wandering too far off the playground. And when there's no boundaries, a child will push and push and push until they hit one. And then if they don't, they will do whatever pleases them and they will wind up incredibly lost.
Okay.
So, avoiding the short-term discomfort of telling the child no and then enforcing it. Uh the parent will get run over. And we'll have another Dr. Phil episode. Obviously, this is bad for the parent, but it's also not good for the child.
The playground is not separate from the rest of the world, and they're not ready yet. Children thrive best. when they have boundaries. Another way we can fall short is having when we build this fence is having it be inconsistent. We can have boundaries, but we can enforce them in an inconsistent manner.
Uh maybe this looks like enforcing it only some of the time. Uh Giving empty threats like if you do this, you're grounded, and then not following through, or punishing on the basis of our emotions. This is also not good. Again, children are going to push and push and push until they find the fence of their playground. If the fence is inconsistent, they're never going to know where that boundary truly lies.
They will keep crossing the line because they can't find it. and it will be an unnecessary frustration to the parent. Or They become discouraged. 'Cause they don't know where the fence is. They don't know where it's safe to explore.
Places they thought were safe turned out to not always be. New areas that were closed off are now open for some reason. They may just stop growing and exploring.
So let's bring this back to the passage here. Uh Parents are the rule setters of the home. Children are to be obedient to the rules set. Children, help your parents be good parents by following the rules, even if we don't understand why. We can trust our parents and have faith.
in their wisdom.
Now parents Help your children in their role by being consistent. predictable and dependable. This is us being Christ to each other in our roles.
So let's talk about some caveats here. When you start being a parent, Well, that's pretty obvious, you know. You have a child. I'm not sure how that works. No one's explained it to me yet.
Maybe. When you stop being a parent to your child, That's a little bit harder to answer. Legally, you're an adult when you turn 18. I don't know about you, but that doesn't mean I have I learned how to do my taxes immediately. That didn't mean I knew what to do when I had my first car accident.
I was calling them. When I have a kid or when I have aches and pains growing up, my parents will have gone through all of it. They have roughly a 30-year head start on life. Then I do. Except my mom, she's twenty-five forever.
Proverbs twenty-three, twenty-two. Listen to your Father who gave you life. And do not despise your mother when she is old. I will never outgrow honoring my mother and father, and it will always be to their benefit and mine when I do that. Doubt Maybe your parents older.
Honouring them should look like taking care of them in their age. or as they transition to be with God. We have an obligation to our parents to do that. They have brought us into the world and we should faithfully See them out. Wow.
Now the Ten Commandments, it tells us, Honor our mother and father, and our days we prolonged in the land. That's Exodus 20.
Now that is a moral straight line command. It applies in all circumstances. But the Proverbs also tell us children are to listen to their parents' instruction and obey it. Proverbs 1:8.
Now, the Proverbs are not moral commands, they are points of wisdom.
So, what we have here is both a moral command to honor your mother and father, and also the assurance in the Bible: it's the wisest thing you can do. Children, obey your parents in all things.
Now the only limit to this would be when our obedience causes us to do something contrary to God's law or God's will. If mom and dad ask you to go pop the neighbor's tires because their dog's being too loud. That's the situation where you should honor God's law over your parents' desires. In fact, I would argue it is honoring your mother and father.
Now that's a silly example, but Jesus says in Luke 12, 51 through 53. From now on Five members in one household will be divided. Three against two, two against three, father against son, son against father, mother against daughter, daughter-in-law against. mother-in-law. They will be divided.
What Paul is describing in this passage is general precepts towards an optimal, God-oriented family. Both parent and child must play their role for things to function optimally. But because of sin, they don't always function this way.
So obey your parents unless what is asked is directly contrary. to God's law.
So another caveat. What if father and mother are not around. What if I have adopted parents? How do I apply this?
Well It is my assertion that there is a broader moral principle here. Respect and honor Your elders? and your mentors. We see in Philemon verse 10 Onesimus fleeing from his master Philemon to Paul. Verse 10, Paul calls Onesimus my child.
whose father I became in my imprisonment.
Now, obviously, Paul's in a Roman prison. He ain't about to sign adoption papers. But it's enough to drive the point here that these precepts between child and parent. can extend beyond just blood. There are several mentors that God has put in my life.
Who are consistently pouring into me.
Now, though they're not my biological father, They are performing a similar role, discipling me, helping me mature in my faith with what they have learned. And I believe when it comes to mentorship, Which is just a fancy word for discipleship. Or when it comes to formerly adopted parents, this principle: honor your mother and father, be obedient to them. Very much applies. Again, it's both a moral obligation and the wisest thing we can do.
Listen and respect our elders and mentors.
Alright, verse 21. Fathers. Do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Embitter your children. What does this mean?
Well, we've touched a little bit on setting appropriate boundaries. We're going to talk a little bit more about it.
So I want to give several common pitfalls. Of how parents can embitter or discourage their children.
Now, again, I am not a parent, so I'm going to be leaning a good bit on the wisdom of Pastor John MacArthur's commentary. Because I just don't have the experience in this. Um so first Common pitfall is overprotection. This is not affording children with age-appropriate liberty, keeping the fence of the playground too tight. Parents, we have to let our children grow up.
We have to let them make mistakes, learn the hard way every now and again. But we do this in an age appropriate way. And what I mean by that is if you got a three year old, don't throw him the keys to your car and ask them to do a grocery run for you. That is not age appropriate. At the same time, We do not cling to our children who are becoming young adults and keep them inappropriately sheltered from the world.
The moment they get out from those fences, they're going to have no idea how to live right.
So an analogy my parents commonly used was water skiing. As I grow up, they give me more and more slack to ski further and wider from the boat, so you know I can do some jumps and some flips. And I've never done any of that. I'm not very good at skiing.
So they give me more and more slack. If I dishonor that grace, I lose a little bit of slack. If I honour it, more is given. But If no slack is given, As the child grows up, that rope will become a noose that suffocates them. Another way we can embitter is by showing favoritism.
Why can't you be more like your sister? I was an only child. My parents get a free pass on this one, but showing favoritism, it can make your child feel like the black sheep. Uh third is failing to listen. To the child, this gives a sense of depreciated worth that they're not significant.
they may reach the point of just stopping communicating. and just becoming withdrawn. Fourth is setting unrealistic goals. and never letting the child feel like they've succeeded until they meet them.
Sometimes this happens when a parent is trying to live through They're a child. Uh so we set realistic goals. And we are quick to reward and give approval and praise at the very first step of them stepping in the right direction. Because that encourages them to the next step. And they may go further than we ever imagined.
Fifth. is not showing affection. A child needs love communicated both verbally and physically.
Okay.
Six. failing to provide for their needs. A child needs privacy, they need their own possessions, a place to play, clean clothes, good meals, etc. And this communicates to them that they are respected. Seventh is harsh criticism.
Now, constructive feedback is key here. We want constructive feedback, but if we are over-critical, the child learns to condemn themselves. They learn to be doubtful of their own judgment. to doubt their own ability. Ninth is neglect.
Parents need to be involved in their child's lives. Simply put, if your child plays baseball, Be at their baseball games. Be their number one fan. Lastly. Excessive and unmeasured discipline.
God disciplines us as a form of Correction. Not as retribution, not as a means of expressing his anger or wrath. He disciplines us to correct us. And our discipline must be measured precisely like a scientist in a lab. Be just enough to correct.
So never discipline a child in anger. Go to the other room, go for a walk. Put it down, come back to it. But don't discipline a child in anger.
So we do not embitter or discourage our children. Rather, we bring them up in right discipline and instruction of the Lord. That's Ephesians 6. Four.
So this is the parent child relationship. Parents set firm yet appropriate boundaries. Children honor these boundaries. And we act with love and kindness. towards each other.
Alright, now we're going to look at the slave master here.
So we're looking at verse 22. Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything. And do it not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart. and reverence for the Lord. Slaves in the Greek is doulas.
Sometimes it can be translated to servant. Paul frequently refers to himself as a slave to the Lord, and those who accept Christ are also accepting them as their new master.
Now this is not a bad thing, considering the old one was sin and its wages were death. Romans 6.22 But now our wages under Christ is life.
Now Some might see a verse like this. And assume The Bible is in support of slavery. But we need to recognize this point. In the Bible, Not every description. is a prescription.
Say that one again. Not every description is a prescription. As a result of pre-Civil War America, slavery has certainly taken some well-deserved negative connotations. We bring baggage to this text. that we must recognize.
The whole historical context does not have this baggage.
So oftentimes when a missionary is taking the gospel to another country, they will very clearly see the brokenness of the culture they're stepping into.
Now sometimes a missionary will try to just assimilate new converts to American culture. They bring Jesus and John Wayne with them. But this is the wrong approach. Rather, Jesus steps into a broken culture and transforms it from the inside out. It's what he has done with you and me.
And the end result is not an assimilated culture, but a redeemed culture. Hey there. I hope this sermon has enriched your day. If you like this message, I want to personally invite you join us for Sunday worship. We have two locations in Virginia, Trinity Methodist Church in Concord and Mount Comfort Methodist Church in Appomattox.
Come join us Sunday morning at 9.45 and we will help you get connected. As always, I'm Pastor Wyatt Hudd. Thank you for tuning in.
