This is the Truth Network. Welcome to Ignite the Light Ministries radio and podcast. It is our mission to help listeners develop a deeper relationship with Jesus by sharing what the Bible says and what it means. We aim to encourage and equip you to serve others, share the gospel, and reflect Christ in every aspect of your life. I'm Pastor Wyatt Cudd.
Thank you for tuning in.
Alright.
So This week, we are going to be continuing through the book of Colossians, that series we started all the way back at the beginning of summer. Uh so A little bit of a refresher. Colossians is a letter from Paul, who is at the time in a Roman prison, roughly a thousand miles away.
Now, you have heard me said multiple times that Epaphorus, the faithful servant and leader, made this 2,000-mile round trip to get the letter to the church.
Well, I want to make a correction because I have been mistaken on that fact. Epaphras was the faithful leader of the church, but the deliverers of the letter were Tychicus and Onesimus. I've kind of been kicking myself over this because I've said it so many times, but Colossians 4, 7 through 9, it puts it pretty plainly that it's these two guys. But I do think it's a good opportunity for me to restate for everyone. I'm a human.
I make errors.
So it's my encouragement: take the word of God above mine. Test what comes out of this pulpit against scripture. Colossians 1:18, it says, Christ is the head of the church. Amen. Not me.
Uh The scriptures is the mind of God revealed, not my opinion, not my understanding. And I will faithfully pursue truth And be quick to clarify when I'm incorrect for you.
So, I just want to hit that point. And praise God, there's always next Sunday for me to clarify.
So, the main thing in this book that Paul wants us to gain is a kingdom perspective, seeing the world and our lives. From God's point of view. The past two sections we've been looking through have been all about who we are to be as Christians. We are putting off the old. We are putting on the new.
We must put on the character of Christ.
Now, this section we're going to be looking at today, and we're focusing specifically on verses 18 and 19. It's Colossians 3:18. Through 19.
So, if you have your Bibles, you can go ahead and turn there with me. It's Colossians 3. Verses 18 through 19.
So it's part of a, it's a smaller section that we're focusing on today that's part of a larger section. I'm just going to read the passage for you. Uh okay. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
So this is We're focusing on this today. The role, and this is part of a larger section: the roles of the Christian household.
So, I want to slow down. And break this section up for us. I want to make sure that we're addressing our current culture that we live in. I think many of these societal issues we deal with come back to a collapse of the nuclear family. We're surrounded by many voices on how men and women should act and behave.
So I want to slow down.
So we as the church can be crystal clear here. This passage is earning us no popularity points with the world. A church affirming a more liberal or modern take. May simply pass over this section as allegory or archaic rules, you know, that maybe was right then for their culture, but you know, we have come out of that and we know better.
Well, this at Trinity, this is not us. We affirm the inerrancy of Scripture. But we don't take everything said in Scripture Literally all the time. Otherwise, we would miss out on intended metaphors like Jesus' parables.
So we affirm the inerrancy of Scripture, we take literally what the writer wrote to be understood as literally, and we take metaphorically what is written metaphorically. The intention of the author is our chief question. What does Paul mean? This way we are pulling meaning from the text versus simply using the text to justify our own understanding or our own motives.
So Paul is giving general rules for the Christian household to conform to as sort of a practical application. to the previous section. Put off the old, put on the new, live like Christ. Here's some tips how in your household.
So there's no simile, there's no metaphor. There's no animatia. This section is literally: it is husband and wife. What comes next is parent and child, slave and master.
So we take this section by Paul's intention. As little. Damn. Mm. There's your Animan Peon.
Uh this section is supposed to help us navigate how we live like Christ in the dynamics of household roles and relationships. Each of us have a role to play and they are not the same. Living like Christ is our ruling principle to strive for. Loving God, loving our neighbor is our chief command. But how we love our neighbor should be informed by our relationship with them.
How I show love to my literal neighbor next door and my wife should look very different if I am doing it right.
So as we look at the passage here, It can be easy to overfixate on the other person's role. Honey, your role is this, my role is this. Can you please live like Christ and go do the dishes? You know, and that's that's wrong. That should not be our focus, is the other person.
So, before I dissect this, as I am going to try to do very gently, I want to highlight the frame of understanding Paul has built for us. that we should be reading this through. The deliverer of this letter is Onesimus, a slave to Philemon, But Paul does not describe him that way. Uh Colossians 4.9, it says, He is coming with Onesimus, our faithful and dear brother, who is one of you. Onesimus is a slave, but Paul doesn't even mention that.
You could miss it if you did not read the next book, Philemon. Onesimus is described as a faithful brother. Paul writes: The primary thing to know about him is this: not that he's a slave, but that he's a brother in Christ. Then Colossians 3.11, here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all in all.
So because of what Christ did for us on the cross, There is no distinction. Christ is all and is in all.
So first and foremost. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Equal before God and equal in our need for Jesus. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Before we are mothers, fathers, children, husbands, wives, employee, or employer.
This distinction comes second to we are brothers and sisters in Christ. Brothers and sisters in Christ takes priority.
So this is the framework that Paul has built. For us. And that's why the section comes after Paul has described who Christ is. In Colossians 1, 15 to 20, he tells us who Christ is. Then it comes after Paul saying there's no distinction in Christ.
It comes after Paul telling us, put off the old, put on the new. This section comes after all of that. Uh Before we get into the individual roles. Frankly, if you're reading through the book of Colossians and you miss this next section, you could ask, well, how do I be a good husband? How do I be a good wife?
How do I be a respectful child? Put on Christ and you'd be doing pretty well.
Alright, so let's get into this section here. Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. In light of where we have come from and current things going on with the United Methodist Church. I want to focus on maleness and femaleness and our roles to one another.
I want to be very clear when I say United Methodist Church, I'm referring to the leadership-making decisions. I'm not referring to the congregation, and I'm certainly not referring to United Methodist Church pastors who've been caught in the crossfire, who are trying to do the right thing. I'm not referring to the congregation or pastors, I'm referring to the upper echelons of leadership. That I believe had failed our nomination. The notion that transgenderism or same-sex marriage is just a happy, healthy thing to do, just as happy and healthy a thing to do as embracing your God-given role, gender, individually and in marriage, it doesn't respect this basic point of biology.
Men and women are are not the same. The United Methodist Church has even less of an excuse because this is a basic point of theology as well. Genesis 1.27, God created male and female. And when we ignore this, we undermine the inherent beauty and goodness of a God-ordained distinction. When we ignore basic biology or theology for making the gospel easier to stomach.
It hurts our congregation. It deceives them to how the world works. and they will suffer the consequences.
So I would say shame on any leadership who willingly does this. and I urge them to repent and return to Biblical teaching. not just for their own sake, but for their congregation's sake.
So Paul is writing this letter. To clarify orthodox belief, To the Colossian Church in light of the current Gnostic heresy. If you remember Gnosticism, we've talked a little bit about it. It says God and the spiritual things are good, matter and the created things are evil. It says Jesus is not God, but one of many manifestations of God.
This is Gnosticism. Uh the church As it should be seen in this book, has historically had to dispense with heretical teaching. We see in this very book, in the book of Colossians, Now heresy does play an important role in the church. Heresy forces orthodoxy, or right Christian belief, to define itself.
So I'm not simply giving a commentary or going through doing an analysis like I typically do. Today I'm going to attempt to define right Christian belief as it relates to husband and wife, maleness and femaleness, and the interplay. Between the two. The household starts in marriage. Husband and wife, and we see this is where Paul starts.
The commitment of the husband and wife to each other Is the beginning of civilization. The nuclear family are the fundamental building blocks of society. And without it we fall back into sinful animalistic tendencies. The nuclear family is one man. One moment.
And however many children they decide to have. This is God's design. It is where we start.
Now, when we start pulling elements out of that design or trying to jam foreign objects into them. problems are going to arise, whether that's the removing of a parent from the home or adding a third parent to the home or removing a mother and then adding an extra father, nothing is going to function the way it was intended to be.
So, as disaffiliated Methodists, we have been burned by leadership being unclear or just wrong when it comes to the roles of husband and wife. Our current culture would like to not redefine maleness or femaleness, but undermine. And undefine maleness and femaleness, that men and women are interchangeable. I think I've mentioned before Matt Walsh's documentary titled What is a Woman? Uh this guy interviews uh a lot of Liberal-leaning intellectuals that subscribe to this undefining of gender, asking them what is a woman?
and none of them are able to define it. If a man is transitioning to a woman, great, what is he transitioning to? Define what this is. They're not able to do it. All this in the name of freedom of identity, of liberation.
But it's the undefining of these categories, like maleness and femaleness, that lead to hurt. and the bondage of confusion. I think one of the most absurd examples of this I have seen is putting biological men in women's MNA. Or women's sports, like how does this liberate Anyone. It's the story of the Emperor's new clothes.
In reality. I don't know if y'all remember that story, but the Emperor's fatal flaw was his vanity.
Now, what does a loving person do when somebody is walking around and they're they're naked? Like, does the loving person simply pretend like the emperor is not naked?
So the notion that men and women are the same and interchangeable It leads not to liberation, but to bondage and confusion.
Now Paul addresses different roles between men and women because men and women have different functions. The absence of any one parent certainly makes things harder. Adding this a same-sex partner to the equation does not exactly lead to something better than the biblical model either. And this issue isn't solved by two mothers or two fathers being in the picture. Again, we can't just bury our heads in the ground and ignore a God-ordained difference and expect our congregations not to suffer.
So I want to give you some statistics here. A study in 2016 discovered that young adults around my age 26 with same-sex parents were over twice the risk of depression as persons raised by male and female parents. Significantly, they had significantly higher suicidal ideation, significant feelings of distance from their parents throughout childhood and adulthood, and there is a correlation to struggles with obesity related to same sex parents. The numbers are even worse when you throw transgenderism onto this fire.
Now One could argue, wow, this is just because nobody accepts these same-sex parents. The church is constantly preaching fire and brimstone, condemning these people, and if they were just more accepted, the problem would disappear. And we have to be the first to admit, yes, there are bad apples in the Christian body. And Christians have not always been as sensitive as they should be, particularly to sins that we don't understand. We need to be loving towards these people, and just because someone is struggling with something like this does not mean that we.
push them out. In fact, there is a huge component of isolation involved with dealing with something like this.
Now, while it's not loving for us to call good what the Bible calls sin, We need to have space in our church to love these people. But I do gotta say, America has never been more affirming. of these sorts of lifestyles. I argue the issue comes back not to acceptance, but because Because of this problem of men and women being treated as interchangeable, we're not.
So if it's not obvious I'm not a woman. For this reason, when we do this passage, I'm going to start with the men. As far as I can tell today, Toxic masculinity is not the problem, rather a lack of masculinity, a lack of maturity is. There's something in mailness. You know, when you give me expectations, I'm going to rise to them as best as I possibly can.
But if I understand it's something I don't have to do, I mean, there are other things that are going to tickle my fancy. I might put my own schedule together, you know.
So when I was growing up, I was told Girls can do everything a boy can do without exception. Hearing that for years in the public school, well, you know, it sounds like to me being a man is optional. Ten years later, you have a whole generation of males who have given up on being men long ago. Instead they lived like Peter Pan in Neverland. Becoming a man was made trivial, I guess we'll just let the women do it.
So they escape to Neverland, blasting their brain with porn, booze, video games, and pie. And honestly, it makes sense. You get cheap love with no expectations of you to grow, a false sense of work and achievement, and something to numb the pain and sense of purposelessness.
So many young girls wondering where did all the men go?
Well. We were told we weren't needed. We heard it loud and clear. As I recognize, this is not an issue everyone can relate with. Perhaps your kids or grandkids can.
Men, if you have not heard it yet, consider this your call. Be strong. Be a man. Pick up your sword and shield and embrace the pain and adventure of life. Stand up out of Neverland and see your clock is ticking and your world is burning without you.
We need you, men. Become Jesus or die. It may not be an immediate death, it may be dying each day in pitifulness. But it certainly isn't living. Become the strongest, toughest, most valiant, courageous man you can be.
Become the father your kids want to be like now. Don't wait to have kids to do that. It won't magically happen. Become a husband worthy of a wife. Who'll be delighted to be led by you now.
Don't wait to get away for that to happen, because it won't magically just happen. Become a man. Become a pillar of your community. It is expected. We need you.
Why? Because women make bad men. And so does Peter Pan. We need strong and godly men. If this is you, you gotta get out of Neverland.
You gotta give it up and watch, Satan will violently chase you. Because if you ever realized how much potential you have, how God could use you to move mountains, how valuable you can become, you quickly become a monster threat to Him. and he will chase you and try to pull you back down. Give up Neverland and ask yourself if I could be the best version of myself, who would that man be? Write it down, define his characteristics.
How does he act? How does he love? How does he live? To find this man, the Bible says he will be like Christ. That is your calling.
That is your north star that orients us to godliness. See, calling is not a place. Calling isn't a job or an occupation or a location. Calling is simple: it's to be with God.
So, define that ideal self, pick up your sword and go to war. Chase that person violently and fight like your life depends on it because it does. There's another in the fire. God will be there, and He'll bless you like you could not imagine. That's me preaching to my 18-year-old self.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Gentlemen, when we fumble our responsibilities to God and to our wives, it makes it just that much harder for them to fulfill their roles and responsibilities to us. I mean, think about it. Would you want to come under the leadership of someone who is unwise, unloving, selfish, and dominating? Would you want that?
That's a hard sell for anyone. Uh If you want your wife to fulfill her God-given role to you, Do not demand it. Paul says, wives submit to your husband. He doesn't say husbands dominate your wives. That submission, her submission is a gift to be given to you, not a right to be taken.
Her submission is a gift to be given, not a right to be claimed. If you desire your wife to fulfill her God-given role to you, make it your focus to become the best possible husband you can be and it will be her delight to follow you. Husbands, love your wives. Love. What kind of love is Paul talking about there?
The Greek is a parsing of the word agape, a godly, self-sacrificial love. And how does God love us? He died for us. He laid it all down for us. He even took our sin upon himself.
Something interesting to think about. The Romans, Paul's audience would have understood this idea of the man as the head. It wouldn't have been something new, Paul was saying. Christ was the head of the church, is the head of the church. Uh now somebody takes a stick and swings it at your head Like, what are you gonna do?
Like, hopefully, you wouldn't just eat it in the face. Like, you take your arms and you, like, defend yourself. You use your body to protect your head. Certainly, that's natural. The body protects the head.
But with Christ It's the other way around. The head took the blow for the body. In Roman culture, the man was the head in the sense that he dominated the body and would throw it every which way as he may see fit. But you be the one to lay it down for your body. You can't begin to lead like Jesus.
until you begin to sacrifice for your bride like Jesus. Husbands, love your wives, agape. Love them with everything in you till your very last moment. Breath. Paul flips that analogy on its head.
We're now The head takes the blow for the body. And it says, do not be harsh with them. The Greek can also be translated to do not be embittered against them. And I like these together. Harshness, it gives the sense that the man is the aggressor.
He's being bitter for the sake of being bitter.
Sometimes that's or um. He is being harsh for the sake of being harsh. And that's clearly wrong. Like we say, yes, yes, don't be harsh for the sake of being harsh. But harshness can also be a defense.
You know, maybe you're approached aggressively. Maybe you had a rough day at work. Maybe the wife has instigated something. But, you know, she spoke to me this way, so I'm gonna give her what's due. Uh, I'm gonna wound her back.
No, no. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. That's Ephesians 5:25. Die to yourself. Take it on the chin.
It's better that than saying something you can never take back. Hey there. I hope this sermon has enriched your day. And if you like this message, I want to personally invite you to join us for Sunday worship. We have two locations in Virginia, Trinity Methodist Church in Concord and Mount Comfort Methodist Church in Appomattox.
Come join us Sunday morning at 9.45 and we will help you get connected. As always, I'm Pastor Wyatt Hudd. Thank you for tuning in.
