This is the Truth Network. Welcome to Ignite the Light Ministries radio and podcast. It is our mission to help listeners develop a deeper relationship with Jesus by sharing what the Bible says and what it means. We aim to encourage and equip you to serve others, share the gospel, and reflect Christ in every aspect of your life. I'm Pastor Wyatt Cudd.
Thank you for tuning in. Today's topic is going to be a little bit more. beyond. Forget it. We are, and this is part of the, I guess, got questions series that we've been doing.
So I got a shoebox right there. If there's any questions, pressing questions you have, or topics you want me to cover, please. Feel free to write them down. You can sign your name, you can leave it anonymous, whatever you want to do, and just put it in the box, and I will see it, and I might cover it just like I'm doing today.
So the question that prompted today's sermon was this. What does forgiveness look like? for someone who has deeply wronged you. especially someone Who's close to you? I believe this is something we can all relate to to one degree or another.
We've all had somebody close to us hurt us. Betray us. Why to us? Tell lies about us. We've all experienced this to one degree or another.
That's a question we can all relate to. Um So what does the Bible say about the topic of forgiveness? Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Bible has a lot to say about forgiveness. Why? Because one of the defining characteristics of our God in heaven is that He is perfectly merciful.
He is perfectly just. but he is perfectly merciful. Here's a couple verses just to lay the groundwork this morning. Colossians 3.13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance. Against someone.
Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you. Ephesians 4.32. Be kind to one another. Tenderhearted. forgiving one another.
As God in Christ forgave you. Luke 6.37, making you jump around here, aren't I? Luke 6.37. Judge not and you will not be judged. Condemn not, and you will not be condemned.
Forgive. And you will be. Forgiven.
Okay, so what exactly is forgiveness? Let's define it. Forgiveness is an act of grace. It is releasing somebody of a debt owed. And this is done not on the basis of their merit.
Whether they deserve it or not, it is done on the basis of mercy. The other person is not earning this release, it is being given freely. This is forgiveness.
So if someone owes us money, To forgive the debt means we no longer are expecting payment from them. We release them of that. The same way if somebody has wronged us, and we are owed a debt of justice To forgive them is to say, I release my right of repayment, and I am not holding this over you. That is forgiveness, the releasing of a debt Oh. Matthew 6 12 through 13.
It's a section in the Lord's Prayer. Jesus here is teaching us how to pray. This is the model. It says, Forgive us of our debts, praying to God. God, forgive us of our debts.
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
So, Jesus is modeling this for us. We are asking God release us of our debt owed to you. This is justice for our sins. God, please forgive us. Show us mercy.
The debt of my sin is too big for me to pay. You're gonna have to forgive me. It's the only way. And then it says, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
So, as believers, this is foundational to our walk with God. We ask God for forgiveness and we forgive others. Others. This is the posture we are called. to carry.
We ask God for forgiveness, we forgive others.
Now what do we not see in there? We don't see How God responds, and we don't see how the other people respond, talked about. We don't see conditions placed on how God ought to respond to us. We don't see conditions of how the other person ought to respond. What do I mean by that?
We'll start with God. We ask for forgiveness. But God is not under obligation to Dude, granted. He is fully within his rights to not forgive. And to give us what we deserve, that is hell and eternal separation from God.
Now, the good news of the gospel is that Jesus makes God known to us, and God, in His character, is merciful. He loves you. He's willing to forgive you. But not only that, he wants to be able to call you a son or a daughter. He wants to adopt you into his family and be your heavenly father and do life with you and welcome you into his kingdom.
So much so that Jesus paid the price on the cross for our sins that we can be. Forgiven.
Amen. That's the good news of the gospel. I want to be very clear here. We are not entitled to God's forgiveness. The good news of the gospel is God is perfectly forgiving.
You go and you ask for forgiveness. He will forgive. But it's not a thing of entitlement. That's what I'm getting at here.
Now the fact that God chooses to forgive our debt That we're not entitled to. He doesn't have to. But He chooses to forgive it, all of it, fully and completely. If we understand the depth of our sin, that ought to break us. That ought to change us.
and transform us.
So that's the first part. We ask God for forgiveness. That's our right posture. He's not under obligation to give it, but because of who He is, He gives it for us. Freely, that ought to change us.
Second part. We forgive others. In there, there is no condition of how they ought to respond in order for us to be called to forgive them.
Now when we forgive when we're thinking about forgiveness Let's be honest. You know, when a person is remorseful or they recognize that what they did was wrong, they wish they could take it back and they own it and they're begging for forgiveness, that person is a lot easier to forgive. They own up to it. They can't undo it. And I have to release them, but somebody who can recognize that it's easier to forgive that person.
It's a whole lot harder to forgive the unrepentant, the person who could care less. Maybe they even think what they did was right, or maybe they think it's funny. That person is the hardest To forget. Yet in Scripture, we're still called to forgive regardless of the other person's. Response.
Now, I want to say here, this is a topic that I know is we can all relate to, and sometimes this is hard and can cut very deep. I am approaching this with all humility, and I want to communicate that here.
So it says, forgive us of our debts as we also have been forgiven or have forgiven our debtors. Forgiveness, it's an act of grace that's releasing somebody of their debt. It's not on the basis that they earned it, it is on the basis of mercy.
Okay. That's not mercy that comes from us, it is mercy that comes from us. Yeah. through us. We're going to talk touch more on that in a second.
All right, listen here. Nothing about this is easy. Especially when we have been deeply, deeply wronged. If we're talking about betrayal, Abandonment. Adultery.
Or even Merck. These wounds cut deep into our soul. How could I forgive something?
So damaging. If you're carrying that kind of pain this morning, I want you to hear this very clearly. God can help you heal. Forgiveness is part of that healing. It's not going to be easy.
Because healing isn't easy.
Now what is easy is resentment. What is easy? It's holding a grudge. What is easy is becoming bitter. Why?
Because these things require no action. We are staying broken from what happened and just remaining there. To heal requires us to stand up. It requires effort, it requires energy, it requires work. to heal.
Resentment, a grudge to become bitter, is not healing. It is remaining broken. We are told to forgive by God, not just because it's the right thing to do, but because even though it is hard, and sometimes it'll be the hardest thing you do. It is the best thing for us. To heal from it is the best thing for us.
Now, it might take time. It might take a lot of time. It may require us to wake up every day and forgive that other person. Until our mind and our heart fall in line with the direction our spirit knows. is right.
That may take time. But I want you to know you do not do it alone. We serve the great physician. One who has healed lepers. one who has made dead men walk again.
He can heal a broken heart. Two, yeah. And this morning, you're not just in the presence of Jesus. You are surrounded. Look around.
You are surrounded by people who love you. Congregation bear each other's burdens. Not only that, be each other's friend. Be each other's confidant. and be worthy of being a confidant.
Bear each other's burdens, and the load will be Very Okay.
Now let's talk a little bit about what forgiveness is not. First off, forgiveness is not forgiving. Have you all heard the phrase, forgive and forget? Y'all heard that. We get it from the Bible.
There's two places that we're going to talk about them. But I think the phrase is often used without understanding what God is saying.
So I want to be clear this morning, forgiveness is not forgiven. Forgetting. Isaiah 43, 25, it says, Even I, God, who blots out your transgressions for my own sake and remembers them no more. That's one of the places we get forgive and forget. But if we look at the context, Right before, he says, you have burdened me with your sins and wearied me with your offenses.
And then right after, he says, Your first father, referring to Adam, your first father sinned, and then I sent people to teach you, and you rebelled against me.
So I disgraced the dignitaries of your temple, and I consigned Jacob to destruction. Does that sound like God has literally forgotten Israel's sins? Skidding. Not at all. Nor should you.
The phrase, remember your sins no more, means God is judicially forgiving in full. He is no longer recalling our sins against us. But it does not mean God forgets history. In fact, the Old Testament exists so we remember where we came from. We see how flawed and broken humanity is, that we can't do it on our own.
We're deeply sinful. The Old Testament is there, so don't you dare forget it. lest we miss why Jesus' sacrifice was necessary. Jeremiah 31, 34 speaks of This is well. It says, For I will forgive their wickedness and remember their sins.
No more. Amen, right? That's wonderful. That's wonderful God does that. But again, God puts the sin of Israel on display in the Old Testament, so we remember.
Even the disciples and the apostles' sin are left in the New Testament for us to see. Peter abandons Jesus. We know that because it was included in the New Testament for us to see. Paul murdered Christians. God wants you to remember this.
Why? So we can see where they were. And where God Brock them. We can see how powerfully God redeemed them from a place of deep sin. That redemption brings glory to God.
If we don't have that reference, we can't see them.
So these verses God is saying, I forgive your sin and no longer hold them against you. In the judicial sense, I will never recall your sin. As far as the East is from the West, I have separated you from your sin. In a historical sense, They're a part of your testimony and your redemption story that I am working out. God does not literally forget our sins.
So, this idea of forgive and literally forget. Just Let go of that idea. Uh Now, God does not literally forget our sin. You should not forget the wrong that has been done to you either. Rather, God remembers our sin no more, showing the absolute completeness of His forgiveness.
He does not recall again judicially, He remembers them historically. Forgiveness is not literally forgetting, it's choosing not to recall what we have released.
So let's break the habit of saying forgive and forget. Uh instead Say forgive like the Father. completely. compassionately. Forgiveness is not forgetting.
Rather, it's not recalling.
Next, what is also something forgiveness is not? Forgiveness is not excusing sin.
So when I was working on this sermon, I ran across this article in Psychology Today. And it argues you don't need to forgive to be mentally healthy. Forgiveness is optional. Let me just say I am about sick of psychologists giving spiritual advice on topics they hardly understand. Amen.
Now I am all for psychology and counseling being used as a tool for mental health, but be careful who you go to, because some will treat your faith like a symptom.
Now, the article, if you're online, the article was titled, You Don't Need to Forgive. Feel free to look it up. And the irony of this article is this woman cites two sources. Both, I went through them and I looked at them, and both of them conclude that forgiveness is significantly associated with improved psychological well-being. It's like, wait a minute, your sources don't even back up what you're saying.
Church, don't believe everything you see on the internet because you can publish anything these days. Amen. Yeah, yeah. When people push back on forgiveness, Often they think we're saying Forgiveness is excusing the matter. Just turning a blind eye, pretending like it didn't happen.
I'm not going to do that. Good, you shouldn't. Because that's not what forgiveness is. It's not forgive and forget. No, not at all.
Church, hear me. When we forgive, we're not excusing what happened. What was done may have been awful, horrible, and egregious, and we can call it what it is. It demands justice. But forgiveness is an act of faith.
It's saying, God, I trust you. to bring justice better than I ever could. Holding on is not helping. It's crushing me. And God says Like a Let me carry that.
For briefing. Forgiveness is not excusing sin, it's trusting God with the justice. That is deserved. And He will bring justice. Revelation twenty one, four says He will wipe every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death, or mourning, or crying, or pain. Judgment Day will come. And God will make every wrong. Right, take it to the bank. What else?
Forgiveness is not enabling.
Okay, pretend you're eight years old again for a second. You're on the playground. Your friend comes up to you And just kicks you in the shin as hard as they can. Bam! You're like, ow, why did you do that?
They're like, ah, sorry, you know, I didn't mean to do that. You're like, okay, I forgive you. Then the next day comes. Same thing. They come up, bam!
They kick you in the shin as hard as they can. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Then the next day, same thing, hard as they can, kick you in the shin. Oops, sorry, didn't mean it. How many days are we going to go?
Before we say that, I'm sorry doesn't mean anything. How bruised does your shit have to get? Church, this is the topic of boundaries. Boundaries matter. Forgiving someone does not mean we have to go back to how things are or continue to enable a sin.
Sin has consequences. When trust has been deeply violated, it is okay for us to draw a new line in the sand. It is okay for us to do that. Forgiveness does not require the restoring of a relationship to its former state. In fact, setting a new boundary can be the most loving thing we do.
for ourselves and for the other person as well. If you're in a situation of repeated hurt, Or of use. First of all, tell somebody. Second of all, I want you to hear this loud and clear. Forgiveness does not mean staying.
Forgiveness does not mean going back.
Sometimes walking away is the wisest, safest, most God-honoring decision you can do.
Now, Jesus says Matthew 18:15, if your brother sins against you, go to him privately and talk about his fault alone. If he listens, you hate your brother. If not, Take two or three other witnesses, establish every charge against them. If he still doesn't listen, you go to the church, talk to your full community, and if he still refuses to change. Don't keep treating him like a brother.
That's what Jesus says. New boundaries are not only okay, but sometimes the most loving thing we can do. It's not cruelty. It's a wake-up call. Your sin has consequences.
Guard your heart, church. That's Proverbs 4, 23. Guard your heart.
Alright, what else is forgiveness not? Forgiveness is not Weakness. Um Bitterness. Bitterness is weakness. Do not become data.
Church, whatever you do. Do not let bitterness into your heart. It will turn your pain into poison. To be wronged and violated is a terrible thing, but to allow it into your soul is to be completely defeated and overcome by it. Bitterness will drive us to hatred, to resentment, to all depths of sin.
You know what that shows? It shows the sin that has been done against us has seized our heart and is now reproducing. We've been defeated by it. Do not allow it. You must be strong and courageous.
Give it to God. forgive, not because they deserve it. but because you deserve freedom. We might ask how. How do I forgive?
When what was done to me was so vile, how could I ever forgive? That. Luke 17. 4 through 5. Jesus tells the disciples: If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them.
and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day, seven times come back and saying, I repent, you must. Forgive them.
Now we're not talking about boundaries. We said drawing a new line is good. If somebody sins against you seven times and asks for forgiveness, We must. Forgive them.
That's a lot. Seven times is a lot, like two is hard to ask, ain't it? Seven times in a day? Then what do the apostles say to this? They respond rightly.
They say, increase our faith. If I'm to forgive somebody to that magnitude, That forgiveness is not in me. It must come from you, God. And that's right. We forgive.
Not from grit. but from grace. Because God forgave us first. Forgiveness flows From God. To us Through us to other people.
It transforms us so it can flow through us and overspill into the lives. of others.
So, if we have something really hard that we can't find the forgiveness in us, great. What you're seeing is it's not in you. It comes from God. God, increase my faith. Give me more of you so I have more of you to give others.
That's the only way it's going to work. This is so important. Because the Lord says, Forgive us of our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. This is saying God forgive me in the way I'm forgiving other people. Forgive me in the way I've forgiven my boss.
My spouse My parents, children, My bully? My abuser? The one who hurt me. Forgive me, Lord, as I have forgiven them.
Now that should give us pause. Hey there. I hope this sermon has enriched your day. If you like this message, I want to personally invite you to join us for Sunday worship. We have two locations in Virginia, Trinity Methodist Church in Concord and Mount Comfort Methodist Church in Appomattox.
Come join us Sunday morning at 9.45 and we will help you get connected. As always, I'm Pastor Wyatt Cudd. Thank you for tuning in.
