This is the Truth Network. Welcome to Hope in the Morning. Turning tragedies and tears into testimonies of hope. Welcome to Hope in the Morning. I am your host, Emily Curtis, and I am joined today with Dr.
Lance Quinn. And he is one of our shepherds in the valleys. Those of you that may not have heard that term before, we came up with a panel of nine pastors from around the country that can speak into the deep theology of surrounding suffering. And today we're talking about a really important topic: we're talking about mourning with those who mourn. And as believers, we want to be excellent at that because that's what Christ did for us, and yet.
So often we fall short. And the church as a whole, Falls short. And we want to dive into what does it look like to mourn with those who mourn on a practical level as the church.
So, Dr. Lance Quinn, thank you so much for joining us today. It's a great joy to be with you, Emily, and for All that you're doing for the cause of Christ and for hurting people.
Well, you know, one of the things I wanted to dive into today, after compiling the book, Hope in the Morning, as many who have read it know, at the end of every story, we ask them five poignant questions, one of which is what should people not say or do to those that are in a similar circumstance to you? And really, that was born out of the fact that so many people had come to me privately and told me hurtful things that had been said to them, mostly within the walls of the church. And I realized there's a real need for us as believers to understand what we should say, what should we not say? Dr. Quinn, you are also a widower.
You've walked this path of grief. And so I wanted to kind of ask you first and foremost, why do you think that so many people Kind of hesitate to bring their deepest sorrows, especially things like depression or things that might seem like taboo topics to the church.
Well, it's a great question. I think. There are often people who assume that when they bring those sorrows uh two others in the church that some of them will be misunderstood. They'll sometimes even be With um folks in the church that mean well. But Perhaps people will automatically say things like this to hurting people.
Um Well, haven't you considered, you know, this passage? Or uh You know I had an uncle who died of the same disease, or I had this situation, and here's what you need to do. And sometimes without knowing it and sometimes without discerning The situation People have been hurt. By how others sort of Try to come into their world. in ways that maybe they need to Talk a little bit less.
and listen a little bit more. And sometimes people can run the risk Of alienating themselves. from the hurting. Because First of all, they just want to come in and make everything better. They want to be able to sort of challenge people, especially if they think.
that hurting people are wallowing in their sorrow. And when they do that, they run, of course, the risk of doing the opposite. of what they're trying to do, which is help. But they're probably even exacerbating the hurt by saying and doing things that they really ought to instead simply come alongside the hurting And simply Pray for them. And even if you pray directly with them in that moment, pray very short prayers.
and be able to be Just working their way into seeing the hurting. Not as a project. But as a living, breathing person. who is going through something difficult, And we don't need to right out of the chute try to fix everything. And sometimes people will use their Their own situations of grief and loss.
and death and disease. And Sometimes those two situations, the example they're giving. because they're trying to help. And what someone has gone through. are are are simply not the same.
It's not a one-to-one correspondence. And because of that, they're trying too hard. They're trying to minister to people, but they're doing it in some ways. uh ignorantly and so We we understand their heart. But we have to sometimes train them not to assume that they can come right into a situation and simply do more than the situation itself brings.
I think that that's that's good advice. I was thinking too with the fact that There's so many churches that have very young pastors now. That's kind of almost trendy. And many of them have not Haven't lived a lot of life. That's just the fact of it.
And recently, it's been brought to my attention more and more how often these young pastors really don't know how to counsel people that are grieving because they've never been there. And that doesn't mean that. You know, you can't counsel a situation just because you haven't lived out that exact situation, because God's word has all that we need to minister to one another. But I think that there's a level of compassion that comes with experience. And even why we invited men like you to be on our Shepherds in the Valleys panel, we were very deliberate about each one of you that we asked because you guys know God's word.
You love God's Word and you live it out. But many of you have faced your own sorrows. And so it's been tempered with compassion. And, you know, again, that's what we hope to do with the advice that is given in the book of Hope in the Mourning. But what would you say to those young pastors that are listening?
How can they equip themselves better? Here they've been called to the ministry. How can they equip themselves to be the leaders in their church to mourn with those who mourn?
Well, what a what a great A great insight, honestly. It's not just a question you're asking me, but it's. insight inside the question. Because it is true, Emily, that There are often young men Probably Perhaps not as equipped as they ought to be. They might be good preachers.
But only time and experience gives them the entree. to minister to hurting people.
Now, some of them as pastors.
Well People in context within their local church, most of them, most of the time. Or it could be, you know, in their city. Where someone comes and says, you know, we need your help as a pastor, you know, in our area. They they they run to answers too quickly. They don't do what probably seasoned pastors would want to do, and that is to go into a situation, assess what.
The the situation is And to be able to simply and and somewhat quietly Listen. Listen to the people. who are going through the challenges of let's say a lo the loss of a loved one. Or someone who's in the midst of dying. And what people often do, and of course.
Pastors aren't immune to this, especially as you said, younger pastors. They want to come in and immediately try to have some visible impact. That their ministry is effective to these hurting people. And so they tend to talk more than less. They tend Two Try to fix it.
Fix the situation, or at the very least. Like if it's the, you know, death of a a loved one. They they sometimes can Say too much and try to do too much. rather than just be available. for anything that might be needed, especially either at the beginning or I'd say even more crucial, down the road.
Because what will often happen is that there is a flurry of activity. Uh, where we're trying to minister to people, whether it's the you know the pastor or other folks in the congregation. And there's a flurry of activity. There are flowers and meals and help. And those are all wonderful and at times very necessary.
But then there there will be a lull. There'll be maybe perhaps weeks, if not months. Where the hurting person who might still be at home, still working their way through. The dynamics of it.
Sometimes people, though they shouldn't, stay away from church for a little while because they're They're pained. They're sorrowful. And so what what often happens is people kind of forget them. Because those folks are still in their regular rhythm of life and ministry. And so I would just say Look, you could write a note.
you could uh text You could maybe just a very quick phone call, and I'd say, particularly because of what you put it in its context, young pastors. to be able to say young pastors can also do those things in short order and probably even have more of an entree to come into a situation than than just the the regular person who's a part of the church. And be able Again. practically but also quickly not staying uh hours with someone. But particularly right after an incident or a trial or a test of massive proportions.
to be able to be brief. Brief in your prayers, brief in your counsel. And wait until The hurting person asks you practical questions. You know, what should I do in this? Or I'm hurting in this way, or my mind keeps going to this.
issue Can you give me some help there? That's something that they're tangibly asking you to do. And when that's on the table. Then, by all means, do what you can to meet that need, otherwise. Just let them know you're available.
And if they are coming back to church, Uh uh a a way of of just maybe a very very Wonderful. Uh and and quick interaction with them. Um at the front say of the church. And uh Or, if you see them and you have the opportunity, maybe just to walk over and just give them a sort of a A side hug with purpose. I love that.
And working with them. Yeah, I mean, when we come back from break, one of the things that I want to talk about is the fact that you, one of the things that you've mentioned is. Having that time to serve, and it's so important that we leave time gaps in our schedule to serve.
So, when we come back, we're gonna start by talking about how do we leave space to serve one another. Join us in a moment on Hope in the Morning. Hope in the Morning is a listener-sponsored program that encourages the weary, equips those who walk beside them, and evangelizes the lost. If you want to partner with this ministry, visit hopeinthemorning.org. And may you be filled with hope as you continue this episode of Hope in the Morning.
Have you ever walked through the deep suffering of a friend And been at a loss for what to say? How can you comfort someone when they've just lost a loved one or been diagnosed with cancer? Join us on Hope in the Morning to hear testimonies of people who've gone through life's hardest trials. And share what you can do to serve others in similar circumstances. To learn more, visit us at hopeinthemorning.org.
All right, welcome back to Hope in the Morning. I am joined with Dr. Lance Quinn, and he is one of the pastors in our ministry. They're called Shepherds in the Valleys. And one of the things that I wanna point out as well, too, is that we don't call you pastors in the valleys.
We call you shepherds in the valleys. It's a very different thing. And Being able to be a shepherd means that you look after the flock. You're intentionally invested in each one of those sheep. And the reason why we said valleys and not valleys is because we deal with a lot of different valleys here in Hope in the Morning, and they're all different.
And they all require a different aspect of biblical discernment and being able to know how to apply God's word. Because as pastors, we assume that the pastors whose instruction we are underneath know God's word. But I think the difference between being able to be a good preacher and be a good shepherd is how do you apply God's word to our daily circumstances? And that includes the valleys. And so one of the things that we were talking about is.
The fact that Especially before the grieving person is coming to you and asking, How do I get through this? What's my next step? This is how I'm grieving, and wanting to open those doors to talk. Our role as the church, whether you are a layman or a pastor, is to serve. But one of the things that unfortunately is so true, especially of those of us in America, and we've talked about this before on the program.
Is the fact that we are busy. We're too busy. Because we oftentimes we feel like, oh, I can't bring them a meal tonight. I got soccer tonight, and tomorrow I've got a recital, and the next day I've got track, and we're too busy. And so how can we practically apply That truth, in order to make sure that we have time available.
Whether you're a pastor or a layman, what advice would you give us? Boy, another great question, too, because we're talking about practical ways to minister to God's people. And we know that the busyness of our schedule, especially if We're young in the faith or In the church, but very, very living very, very busy lives. It can get beyond us. And one of the things that And I'm sure, Emily, you've heard this.
where people have often said, You know Uh My husband died and it was six months ago. And there was that flurry of activity for, let's say, a few weeks. And then I haven't heard from anybody in the church. Uh what we can do is practically Make sure that if that person is in a particular group in the church, like a small group. Um a uh uh a Bible study Where You can, as a church, and you can have elders and deacons, and maybe even others in the church, take up.
the uh mantle of making sure that We're not only praying for those folks, and which, by the way, you could do if you have a Wednesday night Bible study or a Wednesday night prayer service. where, hey, let's make sure that so-and-so is on the list, that we're praying for them. And we've also heard that there's an opportunity to do something practical for them. And so we're going to have a sign up sheet here, and we're going to work to make sure that so and so is taken care of. Could be meals, could be mowing the lawn, could be some practical help Where that person has had their whole life sort of shattered and they're discombobulated.
They don't quite know what my priorities are, or I don't think I can get that done. Especially, for instance, if a spouse dies and it happens to be the husband of the home. Who was responsible for the lawn care and whatever.
So What I think the church ought to be thinking is how can we proactively be involved with helping people. And notably, the idea of the pastor leading the way. by going over to a house like that. praying with that church member and then coming back and giving a bit of a report.
Now the report could go to the eldership, it could go to the deacons, it could go to the whole church if the church is a little bit smaller or that group that they belong to. And just keeping people up to date, and then just saying, hey, we've even created a little map here. Of how to reach out to this person. Can you take care of their yard? Can you take care of a meal?
Let's send a group over of a couple of ladies and just see how they can minister to her as another lady. In the church, things like that.
So I think being proactive is so very helpful. Yet, we all know that we're very, very busy in ministry, especially young families. But there are usually people in our church who might be beyond those family years. And they are looking for ways to minister to other people. And those can be some of the most precious outreaches that we can utilize.
I agree with you. I will also add to that that as a young mom of four kids, There's a really unique way that we can teach our kids firsthand by serving those around us, whether it is making a meal and bringing that to somebody, or call up someone that you know is a shut-in. And so, if you have kids, like for us, our kids play instruments. And so, we have a few people that will call up and say, Hey, so-and-so, my child would like to play the violin for you. They would like to play the cello for you, whatever it might be to make them feel remembered.
Because another thing that I want to touch on that you had talked about a little bit is, or hinted at, I guess, a little bit, is the fact that. There is no timeline for grief. And I think oftentimes, not just as a culture as a whole, but the church especially, I think, has this idea that in order to be a strong believer, You get over things really fast. And that's not true. We live in a broken world, we live in a fallen world, and grief is actually, and you can correct me if I'm wrong on this, but I.
I think that there's an aspect of grief that can be very worshipful and very biblical by recognizing that this is not how. God intended the world to be, and we grieve that. But it simultaneously helps us look forward to what we have, helps us rejoice in what Christ has done to redeem those things. And those are ways that we can encourage one another. But I think it's important for us to remember that God really does, He promises in His Word that He, He.
Has things that are produced within our suffering, in our character, in increasing our hope. A lot of times it can increase our assurance of salvation when we've walked through those hard trials. But Just like art and beautiful masterpieces take time.
So, does what God is going to produce in our suffering. And we actually have another episode that will be on soon about what is God producing in my suffering. But along those lines, I'd like to talk about The aspect of not rushing someone's suffering. What does that look like? You hinted at it a little bit just now about not rushing that and being there for them in the long term.
But what do we look at that from a theological perspective as far as like there's not a timeline? Boy. You couldn't have timed not only that question, But our interview any better Because you mentioned earlier uh in the broadcast that that I'm a widower. And And Emily just last night. just last night.
I was at my house I have an adult daughter. And her husband Who are currently living with me to sort of save up some money so that they can buy a home of their own. They have a one-year-old daughter. was a precious little girlie. And They were there with me at my home And I was talking with my daughter who just turned 27 years of age.
And Yeah. because my daughter and I often talk about her mother, my wife. Who And this is bringing in the answer to your question about timing. uh on March 30th just really a few weeks ago Was the sixth anniversary of my wife's death. She died of cancer.
And so, on that day, we obviously talked. A great deal, my my daughter and I especially. But my whole family about how much we miss their mom. My wife. And six years is a long time.
And as you said, I certainly am not quote unquote, over it, over it in the sense of If I never remarry, I will of course all always be thinking backwards even as I work to Think forwards. spiritually and biblically. And so Here's what happened just last night. I heard a song That my daughter said, Dad, isn't this a great song? And it was a Christian song.
and we listened to it together And Emily. My son-in-law, my daughter. and I had a good old cry together. because we were thinking of my dear wife. And it was a song about Childraising.
It was a song about the commitment of a mother. toward her children? And Here I am sitting right next to a daughter who has a one-year-old child. She's thinking about. herself being a mother.
She's thinking about her mother. I'm thinking about My wife And that son in law, Never got to meet my wife. And so all of that is happening in real time. We're having a good old cry. because we are very emotional because we're listening to this song.
And we were thinking about moms because it was a song about moms. And I realized Here is an opportunity. for me to not only mourn and grieve again. But it's an opportunity for me to teach and model for my daughter, my adult daughter. And my son-in-law.
how to grieve in a way that glorifies God. and doesn't put you in a place Where you're questioning the goodness of God and you're questioning the. The God who allowed such a thing to happen, as we hear people often say.
So I just have this great last night example of what we're talking about right here. And that is Getting people to understand. That grief and sorrow and loss And trials. They will come upon us in the sin-sick world. But God has a plan, even with taking others.
in a family dynamic to be with him forever. And we turned that whole evening into a... kind of family worship service. Where while we were crying yes, While we were mourning her passing, we are still saying, But she's with the Lord. And I even joked with my daughter and said, And I know this for a fact.
She wouldn't want to come back here and be with me for anything. Because she's with the Lord. Yeah. And I'm so grateful that she's with the Lord. and that there's no suffering, no sorrow, no disease.
And yet, if we let ourselves have these emotional pangs in our heart, well, she never saw her. Her one-year-old granddaughter, right here. And of course, even my daughter said, Dad, I wish I could just hold mom, and I wish she could hold my baby in her arms. And I said, oh, sweetie, I know, I know, but here's what the Lord does. He's going to give us an opportunity to one day be together with all the saints, including mom, and including all those who love Christ.
And we'll all be together because there's this continuity between this life and the life to come. Absolutely. And those of you that are listening on the radio, we're going to continue this episode on our podcast and our YouTube.
So you can either find us wherever you listen to podcasts or you can join us on our YouTube channel, which is Hope in the Morning Backstage. And I wanted to let you know that what we're going to actually touch on going into the podcast portion is the fact that what you were just saying, as far as we know, she's in heaven, she wouldn't want to be back here. Let the griever come to that conclusion. Don't say that to other people.
So, that is one of the things I think is important because. First of all, I want to say, I think until you have gone through grief. Six years seems like a long time. But once you've gone through it, you realize it's not a long time. And That is something that I think only experience Can give you that kind of wisdom.
But those that have not had that experience yet, first of all, again, I'm gonna show the book this time because that's one of the reasons why we have Hope in the Morning. Because this book will grow you tremendously in your ability to minister to people because it says straight in there what was helpful to me in my situation, what was hurtful, what should not be said. And as I mentioned, You have had six years to come and say. Man, I sure miss my Beth. But I wouldn't wish her back here.
She wouldn't want to come back here because she's with my savior, and that's something that we have to look forward to. But oftentimes, those are the kinds of things that believers say within the church, and they say it way too early. And It's meant well, and that's something that I want to reiterate here on this program: is that we understand that nobody that's listening to this means to be hurtful. That's not, it's unintentional, and we've all done it. We've all said things that we, you know, you're going to read through this book and you're going to be like, oh no, I've said that before, me too.
Okay, as I was compiling this and reading through their stories, I was like, okay, something to apply, not to say. But you can also look through the stories and say, okay, these are: here's stories from three different widows, and here are the scriptures that encouraged them. Here are the practical ways that they felt served and seen. And here are things to avoid. Here are things that they pretty consistently said that was hurtful.
to have that said. And I would say that that saying things like, at least they're in heaven, they wouldn't want to come back, or when people lose a baby, saying, you know, at least you didn't have them full term or whatever it is, they say things that it's like, Are you are you hearing yourself? I don't I don't know. You know, and that's why I think it's so important what you were saying earlier. Which is Speak less.
You know, in scripture, it talks about where words are many, sin is not far behind. And not that saying those things is sinful. But we really want to be intentional, to be Christ-like. And when we are hurting people, We unintentionally send this signal that the church is not a soft landing place. because you're going to be expected to get over it fast.
you're going to be expected to Only, only look at things from a spiritual side rather than we are soul, body, and mind. And so we hurt, our hearts hurt when we lose somebody. And that doesn't mean that your faith is weak. It doesn't mean that you don't love the Lord and that you don't believe his word, but you're aching. You're aching for your wife.
You're aching for your child, for your health, whatever it may be. Um What would you say as a pastor and as a widower? What would you say to people who Have been hurt by the church unintentionally, but hurt in their suffering, and now maybe they don't feel like it's a safe place to grieve. Can we speak to those people a little bit? Yeah, absolutely.
I do agree that especially I would probably, just by sheer amount of time and wisdom. to say, you know, as I mentioned a moment ago. Six years later is very very vastly different Than six months later. And I do think that there's probably a kind of built-in. Six-month timeframe, at least from My purview as a pastor.
That I think you're right on the mark in terms of be careful what you say. Say less, not more And Sort of give your opportunity depending on the circumstances of how. and why someone is grieving as they are. But I certainly believe that a kind of six month scenario where you're doing good deeds you're helping Your I gave those examples of being able to provide some meals and be able to to just uh Sort of ask really really Short. But Let's call it loving and kind questions.
How are you doing? And then they could respond and say, I I'm not doing so well. Mm-hmm. And then, of course, you can say well i'm going to commit to praying for the lord that he'll his grace will be uh abundant to you and either pray with them right then. And with a very short prayer, Eel.
You just tell them that you're going to pray, and then, of course, be faithful to pray. If, in fact, you say, is there anything else that I can do for you? Do you need anything? Any help? with regard to practical matters.
Material, you know, ideas, groceries, whatever it might be. And I would use a kind of benchmark, at least in my pastoral experience, and I've been at this for. 40 years now this year. And that is to be able to simply say I cannot just assume that everything, quote unquote, is going to be okay. Within six weeks, but certainly within six months of care.
And it doesn't mean every day, and it doesn't mean every week. But I would certainly say if you had an opportunity over a six-week Opportunity to minister to a family, even if it were, say, once a week. of checking in on them trying to minister to them. But To answer your specific question. with people who believe they've been hurt by the church.
Either because they sense that they've been abandoned, or people have said. wrong things or ill-timed things to them. That's a tough one because We certainly don't want people to be Mistreated. But we also want to make sure that people who feel that they've been hurt by the church Well not using that as a way to sort of um Scorn the church, a way to sort of use it as a club. To sort of strike back at the church or the pastor or the leadership.
And so I think it's a two-way street. We need to work on our loving ministry toward folks. without alienating them in any way by our words or actions. But if a person A family. If they are hurting in such a way that they don't think the church has been ministering to them.
effectively We need to listen to them. We need to hear what they're saying and how they're saying it. And I have had experience on both sides. One would be Sometimes We might need to, even though it's going to sound like another hand grenade that has b gone off in their family. to say I want to minister to you, but I also want to.
Just do a soft And uh Supple. corrective on this or that particular idea that you just expressed. And here's what scripture does tell us. about this matter. I don't want to hurt you any further.
I don't want you to believe that just because I'm giving a sort of gentle response. but a but a clear one from the scripture. that I I want to I want to challenge you to consider. that it seems as though You're saying that the entire church failed you, or you're saying that the church didn't do enough. And we want to own what we think is valid in that.
But we want to make sure that you don't Continue to work and say and act as though the church is your enemy. And sometimes people can do it, but sometimes There's a reason why folks are hurt because the church did. hurt them in in some some significant ways. I think I would add to that just the fact that if you are listening and you have been hurt and it has.
Sown seeds of bitterness in you, I would encourage you to go to somebody in your church, go to somebody, go to one of the elders, go to your pastor, whoever you feel like is maybe going to have a good listening ear and with humility. go to them and say, listen, here's what I'm feeling. And here are the things that made me feel abandoned or hurt or neglected or whatever it may be. And sometimes, again, I think sometimes this happens within the church because people get a little too zealous. And in Ephesians 5, you know, it talks about admonishing the unruly and encouraging the faint-hearted, helping the weak and being patient with everyone.
And we're not always good at applying that. We have to have grace with one another. But we also, we have to have open dialogue. Like within a church, we're a family. And so you wouldn't, you know, you wouldn't hold a grudge against your child or your spouse indefinitely without opening up the conversation of why you're feeling that way.
And we want to have strong relationships, but we've got to talk about those things. And sometimes, too, there's a real danger when we're grieving. we can be very, very sensitive. We're hurting. Our hearts, our hearts are much more prone to big feelings, you know?
And I think that we have to, as mature Christians, the more mature we become, I had a professor that once said this and it stuck with me forever. He said, mature Christians have little toes that aren't easily stepped on. And I think that if we can offer grace to one another as well on both sides, whether you are the one grieving and you feel that, man, I didn't like what they said to me. Have grace. Be quick to forgive because that's how our Father is with us.
And on the flip side of that, if you are the one going to minister and comfort to someone that is grieving, Have grace, have mercy, go into that situation with mercy. Try and think in your head, what would my heart be feeling right now if I just lost my child? If I just found out I got cancer, if I just lost my spouse. What would the weight be like on my heart? And pray that the Lord would actually give you a dose of what that feels like so that you can enter into their suffering.
Like Christ did. You know, and I was thinking there. Absolutely. You are absolutely right on in what you're saying. And I would, as we flip the switch, I would say that churches, not all of them, of course, we can't, you know.
brandish all of them with you know, they're all doing the wrong things. I do believe that you're right. On that side. And I think there's another thing that local churches fail at regularly. And of course, we can't indict the entire church.
But I think as a pastor, I can also say I've known a lot of other pastors. Still even more elderships And those that have some kind of you know uh principled leadership in their church. And here's what often churches don't do well. You mentioned We don't need to be on those who are hurting. Um carrying a grudge or being bitter.
The same thing is true. That church leaderships often don't do, and that is this. We are sorry that we hurt you. We want to seek your forgiveness as a ministry team. We realize that we did not proactively reach out to you as we otherwise should.
We need to seek your forgiveness. Because I do believe that while there can be bitterness and anger at what the church did to me, quote unquote. I think the church. does a very at times poor job of actually Admitting and acknowledging and declaring We did not minister to you and your family. In ways that we otherwise should have.
So please forgive us. And if you're the pastor of that church, if anybody's listening to this broadcast and you're saying. that you believe that you've been guilty of that. Then, right now, make a list of the people that you believe you've hurt, even if they're no longer in the church. They've left because they were so hurt, bludgeoned by inactivity or wrong statements, or even bad theology, or.
Uh y you just blew it. Then get on the phone and talk to these people if they'll talk with you. Or send out a letter, send out a text, do something that you can say, we blew it as a church, and we need to seek your forgiveness because we hurt you by not ministering to you in ways that we should.
So it is a two-way street.
Sometimes Either The persons who have been hurt. and the persons who were supposed to come alongside the hurt. We should get together and say, what can we do to make right as best we can as it depends on us? Absolutely. I mean, the thought that just came to my mind that I jotted down when you were talking is that humility is transformative.
And if we can have more humility within the church on all parts, whether it's those of us that are part of the flock or the shepherds that are guiding us, humility will make us Christ-like. You know, in Hebrews, it talks about how he did not esteem himself highly. Jesus came and made himself in the likeness of man in order that we would have a high priest that can empathize with all of our weaknesses. And yet, I think we need to ask ourselves, How often do we bring ourselves low? In order to empathize with somebody's weakness, maybe we feel like we're above.
someone else is suffering.
Sometimes as Christians, we may Even feel like, well, they brought this on themselves. You know, they're depressed because they don't eat well, or they're depressed because such and such happened, or whatever it may be, we can very easily fall into that whole knowledge puffs up. Where we've got good theology. But we are a clanging symbol. If we don't have love, if we don't apply the theology to love one another, to actually step into people's suffering and say, you know what, I love you.
because Christ loved you. I'm here for you. I'm going to serve you and I'm going to be long suffering. with you. in this season because I want to love you.
As Christ loved you. I'd like to close this episode with a poem that I wrote, and you can find this poem on our website. I believe you can. And it's called This Is Love, and it says this. a high priest who empathizes with every ache we carry.
whose abounding grace toward sinful men never wanes nor tarries. This is love. A God who comforts us in the darkest black of night, who tells us to be still and know one day he'll set things right. This is love. A shepherd who makes us lie down in pastures by the water, who gives our weary souls rest and makes us sons and daughters, this is love.
A fortress and refuge for our weak and ravished frames, He gives us hearts of flesh and bestows on us new names. This is love. A king who descended his throne on high, Who stoops to gather our tears when we cry. This is love. A Father who tenderly bends down when we pray, supplies a new mercy for the trials of each day.
This is love. a Saviour who for his enemies laid down his very life. who fulfilled the law and gave us grace in place of sin and strife. This is love. 1 John 3:1 reminds us, See how great a love the Father has given us, that we would be called the children of God.
I hope that as you're listening today that you have been encouraged to Do what Romans 12:15 tells us, which is to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice, that we can enter that house of mourning and remind one another what we have to look forward to, encourage each other. But part of that encouragement looks like mourning with those who mourn, being willing to sit with them and have that long suffering for them, just as Christ did for you. Thank you for joining us today on Hope in the Mourning. Hope in the Morning is a non-profit ministry that seeks to encourage the hurting. equip those who walk beside them, and evangelize the lost with the hope of Jesus Christ.
to partner with our ministry or to make a donation in your loved one's honor. Please visit hopeinthemorning.org. Your donation helps keep these stories of hope on the air and helps tangibly meet the needs of the hurting.
