Welcome to Hope in the Morning. turning tragedies and tears into testimonies of hope. Welcome to Hope in the Morning. I'm your host, Emily Curtis, and you're hosting with me. I'm Robbie Dillmore.
Trapped? Alone Scared. Helpless. These are all descriptions of how women in abusive marriages can feel. Today we're joined by a brave woman who is going to share her story.
And we're going to talk about how we can minister to women in the most vulnerable circumstances. Sarah, thank you for joining us today. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much.
So I'm going to jump right in and just ask you: why do you feel it's important to share your story today?
Okay. I feel it's very important to share my story because Going through what I went through, I didn't see it talked a lot about being in an abusive marriage, or if you did speak up, you I was encouraged to stay and not, you know, in other words, just pray more, do this more. It's, you know, those verses where God hates divorce and You should never divorce under any circumstance unless There's adultery.
So, as I have gone through what I went through in my marriage and got out, I've seen. still that storyline of like, no, you need to um It's almost like I don't know if this would fit the optics of you know stay together, families together, but on the inside of that home, it's not safe, it's not a home, and I just want to give a voice to people who Like me, who are afraid to speak, but are learning to get their voice back and putting a name to what they may be going through, and it gives them. Hope that I had in the Lord, but also the strength to get out when they recognize what they're in and talking about it. Because we have to learn to talk about the hard things and. help let people feel safe to talk about them.
And because if not, we suffer in silence. And I learned suffering in silence, you just you learn to be quiet and not say something when you should.
So I hope my story can. encourage people to Get help and find the strength to get out, but also, more importantly, find the hope that even through that, the Lord can use that. For good. Yeah, you know, we're gonna jump into your story here in just a moment, but I first want to say that if you are. Listening to this today, and you are in an abusive situation.
I would strongly suggest that you reach out to a good church in your area. And they have resources, they can counsel you, they can help get you to a safe place. I would really listen to what Sarah has to say today, too. And I was even thinking on the way here: those of you young ladies that may be listening, that maybe you're in a relationship and you're not married yet. Listen to some of the red flags because what you think might not be that big of a deal.
can end up being a big deal. Um Sarah, that leads me into my question. about Abuse can take different forms. And oftentimes, and you mentioned this in your written story, oftentimes people Only think of it in physical abuse. But the reality is that.
Emotional and verbal abuse are often the precursors to that. Can you talk to us a little bit about your story? Where do you want me to start? You can even start how you talked in your story about how you you got married pretty young. I was 19, he was 25.
And we Dated, we're engaged and married in a matter of nine months. And I'm not, I don't want anyone to think, because I know there's people that got married quickly like that and They're not in an abusive situation.
So I'm quick to say, I'm not saying everyone that marries quickly that happens, but in my situation, it was: I saw Red Flies before we got married. I had witnessed an incident of where he got really angry at his parents and yelled at them, and it scared me. his parents didn't say anything. And I remember going, If I spoke to my mom that way, my dad would have been like, No, we don't talk to your mom that way just 'cause you're twenty five in our home. That was a red flag.
And then another red flag was, um, And this is what led to a lot of verbal and emotional abuse. The way I looked, he would always critique how I looked or how I should look. And he would make this comment right before we got married. And I stole my oh, but I thought I was exaggerating. And I'm like, I'm probably making this a big deal.
So went through the wedding. First time he was abusive was November 17, 2006. And I remember that distinctly because we were going to take his parents out to eat. And I had asked a question, and he got so angry at me. wouldn't hold my hand and I I was like, I said something wrong, oh no.
Did I s did I say something I shouldn't have said? And I quickly I can look back now and I now know that's when it started. Because if I voiced any concern or had a question and he didn't like it, He would get angry, and sometimes his rage and his words. One time when it got really bad, he said he would black out. My children's father, is it okay to say that?
Okay, and it's and it just, but because he didn't hit me. Because even in the movies, the shows even Christian films. They only would show physical, like punching, hitting, throwing against the wall.
So, even in my mind, I said, Well, he hasn't hit me, so it should it shouldn't be abuse.
So, months go by, we go and and then I get. Um he would make Threats like to harm me. Like, if I wanted to do this to you, I could, whether it was with.
Something that was a weapon or of any kind, but then he would say, I'm joking. I'm just kidding. I would never do that. And I'm like, well, he still hasn't hit me, but the emotional and verbal was just getting worse and worse. He, at one point, when I had my son.
it that's the year it got really bad when my son was born and came home. Yes, what happened was a traumatic event with our son, but I had to have someone come remove guns from our home. I then passed around my dad because he would When he would get angry, he would just I I many times would run into the back of our house, lock the door to get away from him, but he would bang on that door until I opened it, or he would threaten to break the door. One time he locked me out of our house. This was before with my son, and then he thought it was funny.
And a lot of, I'm just kidding, I'm just joking, when he would make the verbal threats. I still was like, well, he still hasn't hit me yet, but he would throw things. Near me. One incident was after my son, he had said he wanted me to go to work. Even though he wanted me to stay home at the same time, I said, I'm not going to work unless the Lord tells me to.
That made him very angry. We were coming home from church. We got into the house, and it was a stage three chicken noodle food jar that I had been feeding my son. And we had a sunroom, and the window was closed. There was a window above my sink, and it was closed.
And I had my back turned to him. But all I remember hearing is a jar shattering, and I knew That he had thrown it at the window because when I turned around, it had shattered everywhere. And he said, clean it up. And this was the first time I did s stand up to him and said, No, I'm not. And of course, I feared of oh, no, I said I said, No, am I going to get a repercussion for selling telling him no?
Thankfully, he cleaned it up and he didn't, you know, Try to do anything to me, but even then, I still didn't leave. The first time I left was in January 2012, and this was um. Uh Okay.
Sometimes it's still hard to talk about. Uh that morning he had um had gotten up to work out because that was one thing that he wanted me to be a certain weight, look a certain way. that was a requirement. Um and if I didn't do what he wanted me to do, there I knew I would get verbally more than anything that abuse. But this morning I had changed my son's nighttime diaper and it was really w heavy.
And he had um I'd gone into the kitchen and he um there was an argument and I said I simply said we were both wild. And we had a sunroom door that's a sliding glass door, and he. Screamed and yelled and came after me. I ran into that sunroom. My son was in there and I shut the door.
I knew I probably couldn't keep him from coming in there. I tried with all my strength to keep the door shut. He managed to get it open. I fell. and he tried to kick me.
once. I backed away, crawling on the floor. He tried to kick me again. And I was able to get away the second time. And then he picked up my son's diaper, which was heavy, threw it at my face, and it made me bite the inside of my cheek.
That was the first time I left, and I went to the courthouse. And when I'm telling the woman, like, you have to fill out all this paperwork. And I'm answering all these questions. Do you fear for your life? Do you feel he could kill you?
I said, yes. And I'm answering all these questions. And she said, Ma'am, you're. You're a domestic violence victim. And I still even then, and this is at this point five and a half years of abuse, more emotional and verbal.
I still didn't know that what he was doing, throwing things near me, or th is still part of physical abuse just because they don't put their hands on you. And I had a protective order. I let him stay gone. He had to stay gone 11 days. I still let him come back.
Mm. Because he promised he wouldn't do it again. I'm sorry, I'll never do that again. I didn't mean, didn't plan to get pregnant with my second oldest then that day, I mean that year, but I did. And the Lord knew I needed her.
But then he hadn't, the judge ordered him to go to anger management. That didn't work. He used to threaten to drive fast on the road and think that It was funny. And I would say, I don't feel safe. And if he got angry, he would threaten to drive off the road.
And this one incident, I was pregnant with my daughter, my oldest. And he got mad that I was drinking a nice coffee that was 200 calories and he didn't want me to drink it anymore. And I said, No, I want to. I like this. And he would then swerve and act like he was going to run off the road.
Like, I'm going to just, I'm going to, if, like, he would threaten to hurt himself sometimes, but then I would feel like, oh no, I need to, I need to change what I'm saying or doing, so he just doesn't. And now I know that's just that control of if I can say this, she's going to do this. When we come back, we have to go to a break real quick. When we come back, we're going to talk about what. finally was that breaking straw that gave you the courage to walk away.
Join us again in a moment on Hope in the Morning. As a grief counselor with years of experience, I can testify that Hope in the Morning is one of the best resources out there. Out of all the grief books I've purchased and that others gave me, this is the book that has helped me the most. These stories don't showcase the individuals as heroes who battled and conquered the worst. The stories of Hope in the Morning provide a marvelous perspective, allowing the listener to focus on Christ rather than self.
These stories remind me of who my Savior is and that there is truly hope in the morning. To learn more, visit us at hopeinthemorning.org. John 13, 35 says, By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. Do you know how to best love and serve your hurting brother or sister in Christ? Listen to Hope in the Morning and be equipped to offer the hope of Jesus to every hurting heart.
To learn more or to partner with our ministry, Visit us at hopeinthemorning.org. Hope in the morning allows you to lean into the suffering of others. and helps equip you to purposefully mourn with and meaningfully minister to those suffering in your midst. May these testimonies cause you to see our God with fresh and thankful eyes. and may you seek to be His hands and feet to every wearying heart.
Visit hopeinthemorning.org to learn how you can partner with us in ministry. Welcome back to Hope in the Morning. I'm joined today with Sarah, and she is bravely sharing her story today of how she survived domestic abuse with three children, including a special needs son. I think that that's an important part to talk about in your story as well. It's just that adds a whole different level of.
Of you getting Free from this. Can you talk about that just a little bit about how that? kept you longer than you thought you would stay? I thought that if I stayed That maybe things would get better. And because I had my children, I didn't want to take them from their dad, even though I knew that their dad could not be safe at times.
still the hope of he's gonna change, he promised me, and feeling like I could not do anything on my own. because um when you're told You won't make it without me. You don't have a job. You have no money. How are you going to make it without me?
These are the things I was told over years. And you begin to believe it, even though I knew the Lord provides for me. Over the years that got quite and the voice of Um Jerry got louder because it's just that's all I knew. I tell people it was a comfortable. I didn't know any different.
I didn't know anything different from being in an abusive marriage that wasn't safe. When he wasn't home, we felt more at peace, me and my children. But the minute I heard the garage door open, And I knew I had, okay, I don't know what I'm gonna face. Yeah. When he comes in, so mealtimes were hard.
Um Just things that I grew up that did not. I didn't grow up in an abusive home. I had an amazing, godly father. And an amazing grandpa and I The therapist I talked to, she's a godly woman and she I've been talking to her for years. She I said, Why did I fall for someone like that?
She said, It's sometimes hard to understand. It's that charisma that can charm everyone. and uh with my children I thought, well, I can't he said I can't make it without him or He makes the money. I have nothing um So I stayed longer because I felt like I couldn't do it on my own, but also. I was afraid to leave.
Um, yeah.
So Robbie, you're a pastor and a counselor, and I mean, you've also conducted probably hundreds and hundreds of interviews. How would you personally counsel, or how do you think that the church ought to counsel situations like this, especially situations of abuse that? Are maybe in their early stages, I want to say it. with it being emotional and verbal. What'd you say to that?
Well it is Prayer, prayer, prayer, right? you know, to really try your best to create uh a completely safe Like Tell me what you're experiencing, you know. and listen you know and obviously You know, just dig into what do you feel that God's saying and those questions that anybody would ask do you feel safe at home? Are you scared? that you're experiencing You know, and What is he saying, you know, and listening for the very things that she's described of.
you know, how far is this going and about the last thing from my standpoint. You know, those words that you heard at the beginning. to lead with God hates divorce or those are true, true, true statements and extremely important that marriages stay together and all those kind of things. But obviously, if you have somebody, you begin to suspect that, those aren't things that come into the conversation because they go against that idea of creating that safe space and trying to Mm-hmm. That God would give you wisdom to share wisdom from His Word and how you walk such a tight rope because it takes great.
courage because you're not just Protecting yourself, you're protecting your children in many, many cases, and you're protecting the family. But in a funny sort of way, you're protecting your husband. Um in loving him well. to saying no? To confront the sin, basically.
That's right. This isn't good for you, and it's not good for me. And we need to really make some progress in this, or there have to be changes. And hopefully. um find a way to stand with the family both You know, in confronting the husband.
And there's all sorts of opportunities that confront themselves, but oh my goodness, it's a narrow... Path, but most of all, that people feel safe in coming to you, or you'll never get a chance. Yeah, you know, Sarah, you talk also, which I think is very important. And Robbie, I'd love to hear you weigh in on this as well. You talk about how there was spiritual abuse to how he would almost weaponize scripture against you and.
That That I think is more common than people realize that it is and can be very um It can be very damaging to a woman that wants to follow the Lord. and you want to you want to be a godly wife. Can you tell us just briefly what that was? The scriptures from 1 Corinthians 13 He could have just been very abusive in any way, whether it was physical or verbal or emotional, and I would say. What you did was not okay.
I didn't like that. And he would say, You're not supposed to keep a record of wrongs. But he would keep repeating these actions. in s or uh 1 Corinthians 7, you're not supposed to withhold. Mm.
For me. And I wasn't allowed to tell him he didn't like it when I told him no. Um And And I'm like, well, he's right. That is in the word. I'm not supposed to withhold.
I am supposed to forgive. He would tell me that you're supposed to forgive and not withhold a record. And I'm like, I'm really not trying to keep a record, but you keep. Abusing me, you keep saying and doing these things, you keep saying you'll stop, and you don't. And our children are seeing it more and more.
It got to where I could not. Hide it from them because he was doing this in front of them. And I would be told, well, you're supposed to forgive. The end, I haven't put you in the hospital. I didn't punch your face in.
These were things he said last year before I left. I don't have biblical grounds to divorce you, to divorce him because he didn't cheat on me. Those were things he said. Robbie, what would you say? Hearing her, I mean, you can hear even in her voice the pain that is still.
Yeah. What do you what do you say to other women that are in situations like this? Yeah, men, women and children that Um To weapon, I love the way you put that actually. You're weaponizing scripture for whatever reason that you're trying to justify your own behavior, or you're trying to get something that you want that does not honor God. And.
Fee it. You know, just as a note to self, don't do that. Like, man, God is God considers his word as a place of healing, as a place of peace, of a place of love, and and really where the other person's needs are more important than mine. The idea of safety and those kind of things being absolutely huge. And so, as you're talking to the person that's Obviously it you know, receiving that abuse.
you know Let's try to put together some kind of game plan to where we have some kind of intervention. And there's all sorts of resources. That You could possibly reach the husband with, you know, and trying to discover what that may be. If it's the perpetrator, You know, like What can we do to f to to to Absolutely help you get control of yourself. I mean, it's just, it's a really deep, difficult situation, but fortunately, you know, there are all sorts of resources, like you talked about, church, men's group.
accountability partners that you really, really, if you're a man, that can ask you hard questions about what's going on in your life down underneath it because you know that His life was deteriorating spiritually, obviously, to be that manipulative and that destructive.
So there's a lot going on there. Yeah, I think what you're saying too, Robbie, is important for the men that are listening. If you are a man that finds yourself. quick to anger or Lacking in self-control, it's actually a very manly thing to seek help and accountability because. You are God-given protectors.
providers and There should be safety and refuge for a wife within the marriage. And if you find that to be a struggle, Seek help. There's nothing more manly and more godly than going to someone in the church and saying, Hey, I'm struggling and I need help. I need accountability so that I treat my wife and my children. in a Christ-like manner.
Sarah, how how Was your church a refuge for you? But maybe even going back. a little bit earlier than that. Did your church ever address him? In the early years, the church I went to was my childhood church.
They did we did try to do counseling through my pastor who married us and the elders. And then it was um 'cause one incident that led to that, um, He had thrown his cell phone up my arm while I was driving, and it bruised my arm. And when that incident happened, my pastor then said we needed to see a psychologist who was a believer. And we went once a month, and he started calling out the abuse. And as soon as he started calling out things, my children's father's like, I don't want to go anymore.
I don't, it's a waste of a Wednesday when he was off. And I don't like the way he talks. And because he was a man, this psychologist, out of respect, I said, Well, I'm not going to go by myself.
So we stopped. Because that was one thing he tried to push again. You need to go back to therapy with me. I said. The times we went to therapy before, the abuse got worse in some ways 'cause it's like he learned terminology and how to use that very thing against me.
So I wouldn't go back. And I'm I'm glad I didn't because I think if I did, I'd still be with them. And the church I'm at now, I've been at since I was pregnant with my third. the Lord knew we needed to be there 'cause they caught a lot of the abuse on their cameras. Um okay, so you you were saying that They did, they did kind of try to confront him, but And You can correct me if I'm wrong, but this almost it sounds very like narcissistic behavior, like actual narcissistic behavior.
People like to throw that word around a lot and it's not always just because someone is being self-absorbed does not always mean they're narcissistic. in in literal terms. But um You're making I mean, again, it just sounds like he took so many things, like, took your most vulnerable things. use it as a tool to harm you instead of to protect you. That's accurate 'cause that's how it getting out I see that now 'cause A keen nose, I love More than anything, I want to please the Lord.
That's always been my heart: is like my life reflect Him, point to Him, and He knows I love the Lord.
So. I think over time, I am getting out. I can see now. I'm like, because he would even say.
Well y you'll just forgive me. which is true. I'm here, Tom. I'm sorry. Which is true.
I'm like, I am supposed to forgive 'cause it does say in his word and I'm trying to raise my kids. I it doesn't matter what someone does or says to you, I'm not discounting what Y'all saw your dad saying do to mom, but we have to forgive. That doesn't mean I'm saying what he did is okay. Because I think it was one of your questions, how they're healing. Um It's just been hard because of co-parenting with the very person who was my abuser.
I've had to be because this whole time he's told my children, you know. Uh mom, I'm gonna get back with mom and It's very confusing to my son. He doesn't understand. I said, no, mommy, not giving daddy any more chances. Mommy, almost 18 years worth, mommy get chances.
And I don't hate dad. I forgive daddy, but mommy can't. Do that anymore. Did your church stand behind you in that? They did.
actually in 2021 when they were catching it on the cameras because it got bad again in 2020. My daughter's first birthday, and it started with a look and a comment. And it's because I had another baby. I knew if I have another baby, it's going to start again because it meant I gained weight and I didn't look the same again. But I didn't want that fear to keep me from having.
Another baby, but I knew it's gonna get bad again. Of course, I know that's when COVID happened and. That was not good. He was home more, and things just got really bad again. And the guy on our security team at our church I go to now, I've been there since 2019, he's an ex-cop.
And he came to my sister, who's my oldest sister out of all seven of us kids, and he said she's exhibiting battered wife syndrome. He was catching it on the camera because when I didn't want to sit close to him, he would take his fingertips and. And put them on my arm and like dig them into my arm to make me sit close to him, and I would pull away. Or if he even got near me, I would flinch.
So these were things that he was catching on the camera. And when I left the second time in 2022, they rallied around me and my children because I was afraid, because I had read stories where. you had the wife go to the church and say, My husband's abusing me and they supported him and not her. Mm. And so I was afraid.
Like, if I say what's going on Am I gonna get blamed for My abuse. I have been blessed in this: that I have an amazing family and friends and a church. The only ones who I got. didn't get support from that I thought it would would be his parents. Mm-hmm.
That was hard. 'Cause they witnessed some of it. Um But I'm like, I can't I have to just you know, focus on my children. Um but even that second time I still let him come home after four months. And um And he, for a five-month span from November 2022 to April 2023, he was.
The best he's ever been, and that sounds really bad. Like he went five months and he really wasn't abusive. And he bought a Bronco in April of twenty twenty three. And it got bad again. And the abuse this time was more covert, like.
Sneaky because when he was physical, like there was a moment in 2024, 2021, he had grabbed me and shoved me into my son's dresser because I didn't want to give him a kiss. Physical touch had become where I didn't like it. And the no thing, withholding, if I I knew if I said no too much, I would get it.
So there was times I said yes to things I didn't want to. Um, kiss opus. As if I say no, he's gonna I may get it in this way or that way. But I didn't like physical touch, so I would literally try to find ways to how can I get away from him in the house so he doesn't touch me. And that day he grabbed me, showed me to the dresser.
And when he said I didn't intend to hurt you, And I didn't realize my arms were bruised until the next day I was getting dressed and the shirt was brushing up against it. And where he had grabbed me was bruises. And uh a week later they were still on there and I had to play it with one of my sisters and out of habit I was like, I'm gonna cover it. No, not. I'm gonna wear a short sleeve shirt.
I can't cover that. I don't know if I put this in my written story, but there was in the same year 2021, I was making rice in my Instant Pot and I was letting the steam out, and he came up from behind me and tried to shove my face into the steam. I jerked back to keep from getting burned. Yelled because it scared me, and he said. How dare you be disrespectful and raise your voice at me?
I said You scared me. And then he said, I thought you wanted a facial. These were things he would say when he would try to hurt me. And I was disrespectful if I. Spoke up, spoke out, or even like out of fear, raised my voice because of what he did.
So after that incident, I made sure if he was coming in our home, I could hear him walking, that my back was not turned. Um Because you had become afraid. And yeah, and but then, if when this was brought up the second time, because this was before I left the second time.
Well, I didn't intend to hurt you and I said, But you did. And and he the I didn't put you in the hospital, I said, But you have put marks and bruises on me. He would grab me sometimes by my wrist to keep me from getting away and would twist on it, to keep me from getting away, 'cause he knew, like, oh, if I get this or whatever she's gonna try to run and he would grab my wrist and twist down on it and would leave marks. I said, You did leave marks and bruises. It's not just the other types of abuse.
And he just would scoff at me and say, Well, I still haven't cheated on you. You know, even even the the marks and bruises that are physical They're there are wounds of the heart that Can't be seen, and those actually run much deeper. And how has Christ brought you comfort and New identity. Since since leaving your marriage. Um, I've had to relearn it.
which has been the sweetest thing. that I can relearn who I am in him without fighting to survive. Um and I know you had asked a verse and on the way down here, up here, I'm not good with geography. Um anyway, I was listening to a lot of psalms that the Lord was reminding me and one verse was Psalm thirty four eighteen. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.
And he saves those crushed in spirit. There were many nights I slept on the couch because I didn't feel safe sleeping with him, especially the last two years before I got out for good. And I would cry. Cry in my pillow because if I cried in front of him, I was told, you have something wrong with you, you have mental issues. you have anger issues 'cause I was crying.
So I would not cry in front of him. I tried not to, so I would pray muffled prayers and pillows at night. And scream in the pillow, Lord. Do you not see? Do you not hear?
And those that was one verse, and he has shown me that more since I got out. I was never not with you. I held you through moments. I know he could have fallen through on a threat and I wouldn't be here. Because he made many threats like that.
In February 2022, he said When I didn't feel safe driving in the car with him, he said, If I wanted to kill you, I could have guns back there. He said this in front of my daughter. Hey, second orders. And when I said I'm calling the police, he fell on the ground screaming and crying, Oh, I'm so sorry And I froze and I froze every time when I should have called when I had the proof physically and didn't go. I was always afraid if I call the cops and my kids see this, what is that going to do to my children?
Even though I should call. But they saw their dad arrested. Yes. But one verse, that's one verse, Psalm 34, 18, Psalm 121. I saw you did an interview with someone who does sovereign grace music.
literally all their music. And moments where I'm like, Lord, I can't keep doing it. I can't. He needs to change. because I'm becoming a shell of a person.
And if something happens to me, my kids don't have anyone.
So I said, Lord, but he doesn't. He gives us free will. And he's not going to like, I'm like, change him or like this idea, he's got to want. And it got to where I think he just got used to. She's going to forgive me.
She stayed this long. What makes me think she's going to stay gone this time? And but that verse, he is close to the brokenhearted and he saves those crushed in spirit. My identity this last year. serving in my church in the kids ministry, special needs ministry.
He all I say is he's brought me back to life again 'cause for so long I Ky used to being crouched in a corner being quiet. is surviving. And I'm relearning who he says I am. You're not worthless, useless. called.
Other things I won't say on here because they're just not They're not good words. Horrible things I was called. Screamed inches from my face, being called these horrible things. And the Lord is just taking that and saying, No, you're not that. I call you priceless.
I call you worthy. because of what he's done for me, but it's like I let One man's voice be what defined me from his 18 years, and the Lord's like. We're going to redefine. This.
So, the last year he has healed me in so many ways. I can't talk about how thankful I am for his faithfulness and goodness and how he's just taken so much broken and it's making it beautiful. And what I thought would never be able to be made beautiful again, the ruins he's rebuilding it and turning, as my friend said, beauty into ashes.
So. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, it is amazing how he takes the ashes and the ruins of our life and he turns it into something beautiful. And I just want to close on this statement. I was thinking, as you just said, that all these terrible things were said to you, and you were called these terrible things.
Your name is Sarah. And Sarah means princess, and princess Father is the daughter of a king. and you have a good father that loves you and I so appreciate you being willing to Be so vulnerable on here, and what a Christ-like thing to say, I'm willing to share my darkest days. and be very vulnerable. In case it helps somebody else, because I want them to see the freedom that there is in Christ, and that you can be free, you can have an identity.
hidden in Christ. And Sarah, that is beautiful. I would also add that um you know, the whole thing like you talked about, as you Um There's a lot of darkness if you listen to the story. There's darkness everywhere. As the light, if you bring it out into the light, which Sarah has done, right, in so many ways and what you may have heard, if you, you know, it's not hard to hear these.
It's very hard, I mean it's very hard to hear these things. Man or woman, it's very, very hard to hear these things. But it's a beautiful thing when it gets out into the light that that God can get in there and heal. You've heard it say that you're as sick as your secrets. I don't know if you've heard that, but it's very powerful in my world of seeing that things that come out in the light for the man and the woman, right?
As you get these things out, and your family begins to understand what you're really dealing with, and your pastor begins to see what you're really dealing with, and God gets to see what you're really dealing with. But by the same token, there's a man involved, and then there's those children, right? And guess what? They're watching their parents keep it a secret, and they're watching their parents. push it under the covers, they learn that behavior, and they end up with the shame and all the stuff that's involved in that and their family.
And so it's just an opportunity for all of us to see the value of Sarah's courage. Because you can hear that God has given her voice back. Yes. You smile back. You have a beautiful smile.
And I wish that they all could have heard her story of her 16-year-old son. And the battle that he has fought through unbelievable damage at birth, that he lived in spite of cerebral palsy and he's gotten his voice and he's able to walk and talk in spite of what the doctor said that would happen. You know, as Sarah knows that special needs families really struggle right here. Right here, because it's quite often that both parents Aren't all in on this deal. And actually, having taught special needs, and I know that if you do do Sarah, it's quite often you'll see either the mother's totally engaged or the father's totally engaged.
And it's hard to find people that are going to go parent that situation because it takes phenomenal amounts of. Of grace. Phenomenal amount of patience. And you can't help but see all those attributes that he gave you. That Satan wanted to turn those for evil, but God turned them for good in what you've been able to.
Endure so that A, your son could be with us and enjoy the life that he has, but also, I would imagine there's lots of people that heard this. That realize, wow, I'm on a bad, slippery slope right here. Whether you're Involved in the marriage, you maybe see it in your daughter or your granddaughter or whatever it is that you see. Realize that this stuff needs to come out in the life. People need to feel safe to come out with it.
And I love, love, love that that God brought this to hope in the morning. I could be any part in it. Yeah, you know, I think as believers, because part of what we do with Hope in the Morning is talk about how we can be the hands and feet of Christ. And as believers, with these situations, you know, I would encourage you, just like the man at your church that took notice and said something. Be aware of what's What's going on around you?
Don't be so caught up in yourself or what your lunch plans are or whatever it may be. When you're at church, be aware of those around you and get involved in their life because people aren't going to trust you with. Their absolute most vulnerable, scary things to share if they don't feel like you are a trusted resource, someone that they can go to and really bear things and have. have you walk alongside them and say, hey. I'm here.
I'm walking this valley with you. And we're going to expose the darkness with the light together. You're not alone. And that's what we are supposed to be as the body of Christ. We are supposed to love one another with a selfless love.
And That looks like getting involved in people's lives in a way that can be protective and um and and same with with whoever the abuser may be.
Sometimes it looks like confronting in love. Just like you said, Robbie, like, you don't, we don't want to leave someone. To Continue in their sins. That's not loving. And instead it's like If the men in the church can say, you know what, I love you, brother, enough to confront you and say, hey, How are you doing on this?
Can I? Can I take you to coffee? Can I talk to you about this? Can I talk to you about What what's making you? Angry, and let's see what God's word has to say about it because we want to take everything carefully.
Captive unto God's word. And Sarah, I'm so thankful that God did give you your voice back and that you use it on Hope in the Morning.
So thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Join us again next week on Hope in the Morning. Hope in the Morning is a non-profit ministry that seeks to encourage the hurting.
Equip those who walk beside them, and evangelize the lost with the hope of Jesus Christ. To partner with our ministry or to make a donation in your loved one's honor. Please visit hopeinthemorning.org. Your donation helps keep these stories of hope on the air. and helps tangibly meet the needs of the hurting.
