Welcome to Hope in the Morning. Turning tragedies and tears into testimonies of hope. You're probably familiar with the verse in Psalms that says, weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Joy and sorrow might seem like two exclusive entities, but for the Christian, they can and do coexist. 2 Corinthians 12, 9 tells us that God's grace is sufficient and that his strength is made perfect in weakness.
Furthermore, Nehemiah reminds us that the joy of the Lord is our strength. My guest today has faced one of the hardest trials a person can face. And today, she's here to talk about how she reclaimed her joy and found strength in the Lord. Morgan, thank you so much for joining us today. Oh, thank you for having me. Can you start out by telling us a little bit about your family and a little bit about Abby?
Yeah. So we're a family of four. It was my dream to have four children. I married my high school sweetheart.
We've been married for 13 years. And I had all these babies back to back. So I had four kids by 30. And Abby was my number three. She was my first girl. I have two boys and two girls. And I was so excited to have a daughter.
It was truly a dream come true. I might get emotional. That's okay. But I want to tell you about Abby. She's awesome. So she was two years old. She was two years old in four months when we lost her. But we loved having her in our family. She was so much fun. And she was silly. And she was so girly.
She loved makeup with me. And she was known for making my morning coffee with me. And she totally had a sweet tooth.
She would eat all the ice cream, lollipops. Those are the things we remember and honor her still to this day with. And she loved chocolate milk. She loved the movie Coco. She was just a joy. She had a beautiful smile.
And she had her dad's deep dimples. They were so precious. But she was just a total joy.
Oh, yeah, that's precious. So did she like playing with dolls and all that kind of like a little mama? Yes, she loved baby dolls. Very nurturing. Always held a baby. She loved, you know, I had her little sister within 16 months, like really back to back. So I would be nursing Taylor and Abby would be next to me like feeding her babies her bottles, trying to nurse her.
But you know, that doesn't work out that way. Yeah, but it was just like so precious as a little mama next to me. That is so sweet. So it sounds like she was just kind of a little race ray of sunshine in your house.
Oh, yeah, definitely. And you mentioned that you guys lost her when she was just two years old. Two years old in four months, you said? And yeah, what what did that look like?
What did your journey up to losing her look like? So she developed like a very typical child up until a year old. And I noticed that she had dark veins down her forehead. And it didn't sit right with me. I felt like something was off. And I wanted to go to the doctor's I just felt like something was off. But there was no outward physical issues that she was having. I went to the doctors. And after multiple scans, they found an AVM, which is an arterial venous malformation in her brain, which is a bundle of veins and arteries that don't belong.
And they also lack capillary bed so they don't diffuse pressure the way it's supposed to when you transfer from arteries to veins. So once we had her diagnosis, she still had no symptoms. She was developing in speech and coordination and everything normally. So we thought, OK, well, there's no treatment for it except possibly radiation at the age of six or seven, which wasn't a good option either because it would harm her brain. It was in a very important part of her brain that you can't really touch with surgery or anything. Sometimes you can remove AVMs with surgery. A lot of times you can actually.
And they can be all over the body. But with her her location, you couldn't. And so with that, we sort of walked away like, OK, maybe she can live her whole life with it. There wasn't a real outcome. It wasn't like this is what she has.
This is what you can expect. It was incredibly unique situation to her and how she was made and she was born with it is is what we've learned. So a couple months had passed and she started to get seizures. But it's not the it wasn't it's not the sake, the shaking seizures that we think of. It's that her her brain would just get so tired that it would turn off. That it would turn off. So unfortunately, she would lose her eyesight and her ability to speak or walk or really do anything for hours and hours.
It would take a long time. And those sort of increased over the next couple of months in between her diagnosis and her death was about 11 months. And I would say during that time, the Lord definitely sustained me because I wasn't overly emotional.
I wasn't entertaining worst case scenarios. I truly was like all in on taking care of her and loving her and keeping life as normal as possible and routine as possible. And I'm so thankful for that, looking back, because I was present all the time. I was focused on my family. And I'm so thankful for that strength that God gave me because I wasn't, you know, crippled in the in the fear of her condition.
I would come but I would meet people and tell them. And they would be fearful. But I was not fearful. Wow. Yeah. Do you think that that was just a grace of the Lord in that moment? That that was the grace of the Lord? Wow. Yeah.
Do you think that that was just a grace of the Lord in that moment? I do. I totally do.
And I think it was almost like a shield, a shield. Because I remember someone saying, you should, you should sign her up for make a wish. And I just remember thinking, like, why would I do that?
Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I'm not planning for her death. I never planned for her death. I always planned for her life.
And it was a beautiful thing. Because we did live it. We lived it big as much as we could with her. So after she passed away, you know, you say that you you planned for her life and that you that you were all in and very present with her. What are some of the ways since losing her that you honor her memory?
That's a good question. We, we honor in practical ways, because I felt this need to have physical reminders for my children. So that when they look back, they can physically see ways we remembered her. So we use things like butterflies when we see butterflies, and they were released at her service. So they've just been woven into the story. And it's a very common thing for death to symbolize just someone we love transforming, you know, just something beautiful after, after death, essentially the transition. And so we use butterflies for her birthday we use and for Christmas and Easter, we use pink roses in place of her stocking or an Easter basket.
So we have physical placeholders. But aside from the physical, we truly believe as a family, that we have to continue to live a really big life. So we have a really good story to tell her. Oh, that's so important to us. Yeah.
Wow. So when you come across other mothers who, who are facing hard diagnosis, you know, in that initial season, especially, it just, it can feel overwhelming, and feel like there's not going to be any end to the grief. And in a sense, there's not, you know, when we when you lose somebody, especially somebody as precious to you as your own child. Yeah, there's a part of grief that always stays with you in this life. Um, how, how did you learn to incorporate joy in that? And how would you give another parent hope with joy? I truly believe that you can't, it's hard to have joy without surrender. And you have to accept that God is sovereign over your life.
And for me, that was the most pivotal, pivotal, pivotal shift I've made mentally, is that I'm and spiritually, is that I have surrendered everything to God. I trust him. I trust his sovereignty. And it doesn't mean I understand or I like it.
I like the plan. But I find joy in the surrender. And when I surrender to him, I see his hand of love and everything, everything we've done, like, everything he's provided, has just been a mercy.
And you can't help but look for him in even the littlest things, things being provided at your, you know, a meal being provided at your doorstep or a perfectly timed text of encouragement. There's so many ways that he made these deposits of love affirming like you, you don't understand my plan. But I love you. And I've got it. Like I have a plan. Yeah. Yeah. Is that is that something that you guys have been very mindful to counsel your children in through all of this?
Yeah, absolutely. We have because they were so little. So my kids were six, four, and 11 months old when Abby passed.
Okay. There's only so much you can explain at that time or that they can understand. And so with time, we pointed out made a point to point out what God has done, what he has provided. We wanted the focus to be on God's provision in our life, and what he's doing.
Because you have you feel almost like abandoned, abandoned by God when he, excuse me, when he takes something so precious. Yeah. So it was really important to show our children that we weren't abandoned, that there's a plan, and that we will be provided for. And so we do that we point out sunsets, we point out songs, we point out prayer, we pray together, every single night, and we, you know, say, give Abby a big hug and kiss for us. Yeah.
Wow. Well, when we come back, Morgan, I would love to hear just more about how the Lord has shown you his mercies. And just how, how you have been able to use your heartache to share the hope of Christ with others.
So join us back in just a moment. Hope in the Morning is a listener sponsored program that encourages the weary, equips those who walk beside them, and evangelizes the lost. If you want to partner with this ministry, visit HopeInTheMorning.org. And may you be filled with hope as you continue this episode of Hope in the Morning. Do you want to be equipped to help grieving people?
To learn what to say and what not to say from people who've walked through various trials. Throughout the month of April, with your donation of any amount, we'd like to send you a free copy of Hope in the Morning, a hope-filled guide through grief. Be encouraged by their stories and equipped to offer hope.
Visit us today at HopeInTheMorning.org. We're going to start with Hebrews 4, 13 through 16, which says, And there is no creature hidden from his sight, but all things bare to the eyes of him whom we have to do. Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
We're sitting down today with Morgan Davis, and she is sharing with us about her sweet little girl, Abby, and her life and her heaven going. And Morgan, I think it's so important as believers that we recognize that grief does not just, it doesn't have an ending point. It's not like at the end of year one, you're just over it, you know, or as people like to say, time heals all wounds. That's a phrase I don't really like because I feel like it's not, to me, it feels like you're just kind of throwing a bandaid on it, you know, it's not. So what would you say to a statement like that, like time heals all wounds?
It certainly doesn't. I think that time spent with the Lord increases your endurance and strong fastness, and there's fruit from your journey of pain, but it, yeah, it does not go away. Yeah, yeah. So how have you learned to weave in the sorrow and the joy to allow space for both of them? I have to tell myself that it's okay to have both. There are days where I don't want to be sad because it's hard, but you can't schedule your grief. That's what I like to say.
Oh, I wish I could just plan this out, but you can't. And so you have to let it come and accept it. And I think that's why I have grown so much over the years in my faith is because I don't wish grief away. And I accepted as my friend and someone who is going to grow with me and change with me.
And grief is very much a part of me. I think that's what I had to accept was grief is now a part of who I am as a person. And so it's just a big identity crisis that you go through and you're getting to know this new version of you. And you're also learning to accept this new version of you. And there was sort of this like breaking out of, oh, I can be a different person now. And God's going to kind of show me new things and show me new ways of how He's going to do things and how He's going to bring me unbelievable joy that I didn't think was mine again.
It's very much a gift from Him and not something that I have fabricated on my own. Yeah. With the joy, was that something that you felt the Lord sustained your joy all throughout Abby's diagnosis and her death? Or was it something that came back later? I think it was sustained because I found joy in my children and my home and I found joy in holidays again.
It wasn't right away. It certainly had ebbs and flows. And I just found so much gratitude when it would come my way. And I was just so thankful for it when I received the joy, you know, of the Lord. Yeah. Yeah. Did you learn new things about the character of God that kind of, I guess were awakened in you through your trial?
Oh yeah, absolutely. I think that we put God in a box. I was raised in Christian school and Sunday school, all the things. And you learn about who He is on paper, but He came alive, excuse me, but He came alive and He became a companion and He became someone I had to rely on. And He never let me down. So all of His promises, having to really cling to His promises, it's like, you better show up for me. I hate to say it like that, but when you are in pain and desperate, that's how you talk to God sometimes. Yeah. And I think the vulnerability and just transparency with the Lord, you grow so close to Him and you learn how much He cares for you as an individual, because He would just be loved to me in such a personal way where, you know, no one else would have known what I needed in that moment, except Him. Yeah.
And He would show up. And so time after time, I've learned about His faithfulness and His tenderness and kindness and love. And I'm so thankful for that. Yeah.
Yeah. I think you brought up a good point that when we go through the rock bottom points of life, we don't need to be fearful to be vulnerable with the Lord because He knows our hearts. He created you and He created Abby. He knows every nuance of what your relationship was with her. And He cares about all of that. He wants you to come and pour your heart out openly before Him. And just like we read in Hebrews a few minutes ago, we don't have a high priest that can't sympathize with our weaknesses. And He is full of compassion and mercy. And it doesn't please Him to watch us suffer. He didn't come here to shake His fist at us and say, you know, I'm just going to sit here and watch you suffer.
You got to figure it out on your own. Yes. He is compassionate and desires to walk alongside us and for us to openly grieve before Him and pour our heart out before Him and then place our trust in Him, knowing that on our own, we're weak. But I mean, what a neat thing that the Lord knew that we are weak to the point where He put it in scripture that when we're weak, His strength is made perfect. Yeah.
And that we have, we have His strength through the power of the Holy Spirit to sustain us when we could not on our own. And are there, are there songs that remind you of Abby when you listen to them? A lot of Disney songs because we watched a lot of movies.
Yeah. We watched a lot of TV because she was just she had hard days. So yeah, we would watch a lot of Disney movies.
So a lot of Disney like we're very connected to Disneyland and certain movies. Kogo is one of her favorite movies. I delivered her to the Moana soundtrack. So takes me back to just her entering our lives. Did she love to, did she love to like dance around and be a little princess?
Like, I can leap the ballerinas. Oh, yeah. Yep. My daughters love that movie, too. It's just a it's a very fun girly girl movie. And the music's so good. Yes. Yeah.
I know Disney has Disney has good music for sure. Are there are there things that like even even on social media, as you post your like was that was that something that you, I guess, made a decision that you wanted to kind of be a little bit? I don't want to say public, but but kind of I mean, you're you're very honest about your your grief.
Is that something that you made a mindful decision to do? I had enjoyed sharing before. And my personality is very much enriched by sharing with others. And I think it just became part of my healing. I started sharing pretty early on.
After her passing in a more formal way. And it introduced me to other moms going through it, which was one of the biggest blessings to this day. And that's one of the reasons why I do it. But I, it wasn't a conscious decision. I think it was just the overflow of my heart and where I was at. And I wasn't scared to do that.
Social media never has scared me. It's always seemed like such an opportunity to help others. Yeah. And I just didn't hesitate.
I, I went for it. Have you found you said that other moms have reached out to you and that that's been a really kind of big reason why you continue sharing Abby's story through social media? Have you found that there have been avenues to share the gospel with people through your testimony?
Oh, absolutely. You can't, I can't even, I can't share my story without sharing, um, just all God has done. And I often say like, I might not have the words, but I have my smile and I have my joy and yes, you can, you know, you can look at my pictures and you can see what God has done in my life. And I, I kind of count on, on God filling in those gaps like, Hey, I do take it seriously what I'm presenting, but you're going to have to help me out. It's not perfect.
If I don't have the words, you're going to work, but that's the Holy spirit. That's, that's how it's supposed to be. I am planting seeds and faith that he's going to follow through and social media can feel like an empty void that you're just yelling out into, you know, like sharing all my heart. But with time, it's been incredibly rewarding and it just keeps me coming back and wanting to help more people and share more vulnerable moments because God uses it. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. You know, it reminds me of what you had said earlier, where you said that, um, being in a place of surrender brings joy and even, even being willing to surrender Abby's story in that sense and say, Lord, I don't know how you're going to use this in other people's lives. Um, even, you know, even your willingness to come on today and share Abby's story, it's not easy to sit here and share these stories, but that just shows that you trust the Lord, but also that you have a heart for other people. And I think that that is such, such a Christ-like thing because that is, that's ultimately what we want. Like we want to point people to the Lord and, um, what a neat thing that the Lord can use Abby's testimony to point people directly to him and the fact that he is sustaining you and sustaining your joy. And, um, you know, I can attest that you're on your social media, like you do radiate joy. Like you just, you have a beautiful countenance. And, um, I think that it's, it's wonderful to see that scripture tells us that Satan goes around roaming to steal and devour and kill. And that is his purpose.
He thinks that he has the upper hand when he does something, you know, when he, when he, uh, when he, when he launches his hand, he's like, oh, when he, when he launches these attacks, you know, and, and yet the Lord can redeem all of those things if you surrender it, which is what you have done. And that, um, in turn gives you a testimony and that is such a beautiful thing. And Morgan, I so appreciate you joining us today. If you want to hear the rest of Morgan's story, she and I are going to continue our conversation a little bit. You can come to YouTube at Hope in the Morning backstage and just continue our conversation a little bit. Um, and Morgan, where can they find you?
Where can they follow your account? Yeah. Follow me on Instagram at Morgan M Davis.
Okay. I would, I would strongly recommend that you go give her a follow because she just, she is very joyful and, um, I think it would be a great encouragement to you. So thank you for joining us today on Hope in the Morning.
Thank you so much. Hope in the Morning is a nonprofit ministry that seeks to encourage the hurting, equip those who walk beside them and evangelize the lost with the hope of Jesus Christ. To partner with our ministry or to make a donation in your loved one's honor, please visit HopeInTheMorning.org. Your donation helps keep these stories of hope on the air and helps tangibly meet the needs of the hurting. Have you ever walked through the deep suffering of a friend and been at a loss for what to say? How can you comfort someone when they've just lost a loved one or been diagnosed with cancer? Join us on Hope in the Morning to hear testimonies of people who've gone through life's hardest trials and share what you can do to serve others in similar circumstances. To learn more, visit us at HopeInTheMorning.org.
