Clinging to God's Attributes in Grief

Welcome to Hope in the Morning, turning tragedies and tears into testimonies of hope. The very God who we cry out to when our hearts are heavy and full of anguish is Himself acquainted with our grief. He bore our suffering and He is not removed from our sorrows. Beloved, rest your weary head upon His breast and He will give you peace that surpasses your comprehension. He will shelter you under His wings and He will exchange your yoke for His. When you call upon His name in the valleys, behold, He is there and He bends down to listen. If it is He that you seek and in His name your hope is placed, you shall not be disappointed. Never shall He leave you, nor shall He forsake you. His plans for you are kind and altogether good.

Though the valley be dark and mountains steep, fear not. He is working all things together for your good. In your weakness He shall sustain you with His unfathomable strength. There is none on earth nor in heaven like our God. There is not one created thing that can thwart the mighty hand of the Creator. The very waves obey His voice and with a word are stilled. The heavens declare the glory and not a sparrow falls without His watchful eye. Take courage, precious one, for far more dear to Him are you than any other created thing. Take courage and find your rest in Him, for He will fight for you.

You need only be still. When our world seems to swirl around us and when everything is changing and out of our control, take comfort in remembering what Hebrews 13 says, that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Joining us today is Pastor Carrie Hardy from Twin City Bible Church talking to us about how clinging to God's attributes can be our anchor in seasons of grief. Thank you for joining us today, Carrie.

It's a real privilege to be here, especially to talk about a subject like this. It's my favorite topic, really, to cause my own heart to focus on what Scripture says about God and by His grace, maybe someone will be helped who listens to that. What would you say as a pastor are some of the attributes that you find yourself most readily pointing people to in their grief? Well, there certainly are the obvious ones that come to mind, but frankly, and we don't have time maybe to delve into all the details of it, but there are like 18 or 19 attributes of God. I prefer to call them perfections of God, that we find in Scripture.

So there probably is something about each one that could be a source of comfort to people. But there are those attributes that are more particularly dear to us when we are in difficult times, like His faithfulness, His goodness, His love, His wisdom, His knowledge. There are nuances of each one of those that touch on the topic of trials, that if I really understand what they mean and if I choose to trust what that says, I will find comfort in the Lord, no doubt. What would you say is a good resource for people that want to really dive into the attributes of God?

What's a good resource for them? Well, I don't want my first answer to be considered trite, but I need to say it, and that is the Word of God itself. We start there, and I think sometimes we just sort of read Scripture with our minds in neutral, but if we have our radars up looking for what does this passage, what does this psalm, what does this chapter say about God, you will find that He's all over the pages of Scripture. And so every passage of Scripture is oozing something about who God is and what His ways are and what He's doing. But outside of Scripture, there are certain resources that have meant a lot to me along the way that are written by those gifted men, like Ephesians talks about.

You know, Christ gives gifted men to the church, that's not only preachers and teachers, but writers. One is a book called The Thought of God by Morris Roberts. It looks like his name is Maurice, M-A-U-R-I-C-E, but Morris Roberts, The Thought of God is one of the top five books that really have impacted me in my understanding of who God is and how it relates to my life. Many of the classics by A.W. Pink, The Attributes of God, it's a little book, not very thick, but it'll take you about 20 minutes to read one page because it's just so thought-provoking and full.

A.W. Tozer's book, The Knowledge of the Holy, and there's many more now that have been written that really do take you back to Scripture, and that's what makes them reliable resources. It's taking you back to see what Scripture says about God.

And maybe one more, I might say, if that's what you're really asking. It's a very easy-to-read book by Jerry Bridges called Trusting God. That's the old title, Trusting God, and the subtitle I love is Even When Life Hurts, so Trusting God Even When Life Hurts.

There's a study guide you can get with it. Each chapter takes a different kind of challenge or tragedy that can happen in the world, and how does trusting God help us in that situation? It has a new title that's been updated through the years. It's called Is God Really in Control? But I think I prefer that first title, Trusting God Even When Life Hurts.

Even the title encourages me. Kaitlin Luna Yeah, that's a great book. I remember studying that when I was about 17, and at that point I hadn't really faced much in my life, and yet it was still impactful. So when you go to visit families and you have perhaps just going to visit someone that's about to lose a loved one or just did lose a loved one, what's the first attribute or two that you would bring up to them? Jerry Bridges Well, you know, sometimes my thought is first on the sovereignty of God and all that that means about his sovereign power and his sovereign will, but frankly that might not be the first thing I really talk about. I think I want to at some point, maybe when their hearts are more prepared, but I certainly want to start with the fact that God in his infinite wisdom and knowledge knows what's going on in their life, and there have been people throughout history, many that we find in Scripture, that have found comfort in what they know about the love and the wisdom of God. So I'm probably going to start more with just encouraging them that God cares, God knows, and God cares. I mean, I think of Psalms, like Psalm 46, verse 1, where it says, God is our refuge and our strength and ever-present help and trouble.

It's not saying there what he's going to do and what tomorrow is going to hold or anything like that, but it at least gets them thinking again, yes, but he's the one I need to go to. He is my refuge and my strength. Psalm 34, verse 4, I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. I like talking about that one because it doesn't say he's delivering me from all my circumstances. It's talking about a help and a comfort that's internal. He's going to help my heart, my soul, that's what's hurting, whether my circumstances change or not.

So I'm going to start there, certainly. One more thing I'm going to maybe remind them of, just so they remember that this is what God's people have done through the centuries. I'm mindful of something that it says in 1 Samuel 30, verse 6, about David. David was in a very difficult spot.

There are several Psalms that are written in his various difficult spots, but this one was a difficult one. The enemy, the Amalekites, had been victorious over Israel. They had taken people away in captivity. Wives, children, even some in David's own household had been taken away, and so the people were hurting. Their children are missing now, and all of that taken by the enemy. I can't imagine maybe much worse of a situation than that. And then they turned against him.

It's all his fault. But it says in 1 Samuel 30, verse 6, that David strengthened himself in the Lord his God. Okay, so this is what God's people have always done. They've gone back to who God is and the refuge and help that we can find in him, even if it's going to take a while to maybe think through some of the dots that need to be connected about my circumstance. So, yeah, maybe at some point we begin to talk more about God's sovereign will and his purposes that he's doing in the world through our suffering, things that he accomplishes for his own glory and our good.

But I heard your question more from the standpoint of the emotions are raw and the pain is real, and it's just fresh. And the last thing I want to do is just flippantly throw Romans 8.28 at them. Well, you know, all things work together for good. That is true, and there comes a point where I think they'll begin to get comfort in that, but right now they just need to know that God cares and God loves them. Kaitlin Luna Yeah, I think what you just said is so wise when it comes to grieving people, because I think as believers we are instructed to speak the truth in love. And many of us, I think, fall on one of those more, we favor one over the other, just even our own temperament. You know, we either speak truth or we speak love.

And I think that it is a, it's an art, really, to learn to speak the truth in love. And as believers to speak that to one another, I think what you said is so accurate, and actually many authors in Hope in the Morning mentioned that, that Romans 8.28, when that was cited to them, felt almost like people were trying to just throw a Band-Aid on there and not put themselves in their shoes of how they were feeling. Have you ever come across people that have struggled with some of the attributes of God, like His sovereignty, in the midst of their suffering? Dr. Darrell Bock Maybe it'd be easier to ask, have you ever found somebody who does not struggle with those things?

But, I mean, there are some. I've been amazed at some of the people I've known that I've tried to minister to. And I go to the hospital.

I even think of some that I know it's going to be the last time I ever see them. And they flip the table, and they're ministering to me by their comments on how good God is. And that is so great that I can trust a sovereign God whose will is never thwarted by anything that happens in this world or anything man does.

So there are those that take comfort in it quickly. But I think that's probably the biggest question people will ask sometimes, because one of God's attributes is He has perfect knowledge, and He's perfectly wise. Knowledge means He knows everything, the detail of everything. And He knows even what would happen if something else happened that didn't happen. I mean, He knows all the implications of every possible choice. That's just what it means to be God. And He's perfectly wise.

He knows how to orchestrate every single thing that happens that will bring about the best end result for His glory and our good. And so, you know, attributes like that are hard to wrap your mind around when we are in the midst of something very challenging or something very painful, a time of grief and a time of burden, a time of loss. But it doesn't change the reality of those things.

And so I think sometimes it's just more the timing of being forced to think through things. You talk about speaking truth and love. I think what some people forget is there's more than one verse in the Bible that is truth. Okay, so just because I don't suddenly force somebody to think about the absolute and complete sovereignty of God over every circumstance, and yet I'm talking to them about God is our refuge and our strength, well, that is a truth as well. There's not one truth more important than another truth. And that makes me think of Proverbs, you know, verses that say how delightful is a timely word, or like apples of gold and settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.

So we can never forget that. We are weak and frail people, and sometimes when we're hurting, that's when we notice that the most. And so I think there is that sense of bearing that burden with somebody and being patient with them and with what God is going to do in their life. But I've seen it over and over at some point, those people as they've grown through the pain and they've learned more about God in His ways that they are articulating the joy it is to know that we serve a sovereign God.

Like I said earlier, Job 42 verse 2, Job said, No man can thwart your will. I mean, that's a very comforting thought. And for some it's threatening, but for I think people who come to realize the implications of it, it's very comforting. Well, when we come back, we're going to touch a little bit on Job again and how knowing the attributes of God and clinging to those is a way that we can worship in our weeping, just like Job set that example for us. Hope in the Morning is a listener-sponsored program that encourages the weary, equips those who walk beside them, and evangelizes the lost. If you want to partner with this ministry, visit HopeInTheMorning.org. And may you be filled with hope as you continue this episode of Hope in the Morning. Have you ever walked through the deep suffering of a friend and been at a loss for what to say? How can you comfort someone when they've just lost a loved one or been diagnosed with cancer? Join us on Hope in the Morning to hear testimonies of people who've gone through life's hardest trials and share what you can do to serve others in similar circumstances.

To learn more, visit us at HopeInTheMorning.org. So in Job, after he has lost all of his children, all of his earthly possessions, the Bible tells us that he ripped his garments and he fell down and worshiped. That's not at all what we would expect that his response would be to losing everything, every one of his earthly possessions, and yet he worshiped. And that's one of the things that when we know the character of God and we can cling to who he is and remind ourself of those truths, we can worship in that, even in our weeping. So how would you speak to that as far as how can we worship the Lord in our grief by clinging to his attributes? Well, I think about the fact that if he's a God of perfect knowledge and perfect wisdom, God sees the big picture.

I don't. We see things through a very limited frame of reference, almost like a picture frame that we live in. God is both in that frame of reference and out of that frame of reference all at the same time. God is self-existent.

That's another one of his attributes. And he is immutable and he's eternal. He is at every moment of time on the timeline all at the same moment.

He's in time and out of time all at the same time. And so, yes, those are all attributes of God and even more. And so maybe not in the first five minutes of suffering loss or grief, but at some point, the more you learn about God, the bigger he becomes. And so I think even in the midst of difficulty, the end result could be, well, God is not perplexed. I am. He never is. God is not confused. I am.

He never is. And so my view of God gets corrected and it gets enlarged when I study and ponder his attributes. And, yes, the end result will be that in my heart I'm magnifying him.

I just want to say that, frankly, I know we're talking about it in the context of grief and mourning and things like that, and so we're emphasizing the comfort. But I want to back up one step and say the greatest thing that's going to happen is actually an increase in our worship. When we contemplate God's perfections, the way they're presented in Scripture, not the way we define God ourselves. We tend to make God just a little bit better version of ourselves. That's not who he is. Take what it said in Scripture about him. Let that define God. And the more we see that and understand that and contemplate that, it's going to bring an increased sense of awe in our hearts, increased sense of reverence that he's God and we're not. And, again, that doesn't make me angry.

It brings me comfort that I can hold on to something that's not like me. He's not just a better version of me. He's God, perfect and holy in every way in all 18 or 19 of these attributes. He's perfect in all of them. He is equal in all of them.

And so comfort, I tend to think of comfort ending up being the really the second result that happens. So I don't want to minimize the importance of it in a moment of pain, but it is true that David strengthened himself in the Lord because he knew who the Lord was. He was a worshiper.

Yeah. Have you gone through seasons in your own life, whether it's a season of grief or just some other trial that you've gone through, when attributes of the Lord have been more real to you, that you have discovered that, wow, this is something I never really gave as much thought to before entering this season of my life? There have been, and certainly as a pastor for some decades now, I have witnessed the trials and the grief and the tragedies of other people and have realized that I haven't suffered with the depth that some have. I mean, I've heard things and seen things that are just without words. And yes, I've had my own trials.

There's certainly been health challenges. There's been loss in our family, and there's been situations that are so perplexing and so big, and the problem is so big that it's just out of my hands. I think what I've learned about that is God in his love for us is certainly going to bring us into and lead us into and allow things that happen that are beyond us.

I think those are the best times for us. When it's a little problem, we sort of give lip service to trusting God and taking comfort in him, but I also can do some things to fix it. But I can look back on my life and remember that the most sanctifying times in my life, which means the times where I've grown the most spiritually to understand the most of what it means to be more like that, the most sanctifying times have been those situations that were totally beyond me. And I think in those situations, whether it's a health issue, whether it's the loss of someone you love, whether it's a challenge that there is nothing you can do to right the wrong and to fix it, those end up being sweet times when you're at the bottom and you cast yourself on the only place you can cast yourself, and that's the Lord. We need those times, actually.

But I say that facetiously. I don't want to minimize pain and tragedy because we live in a fallen world. All these things happen only because there's a curse on this world, and we take comfort in knowing that this world was never meant to fulfill us. It's the world that is to come in heaven with the Lord.

There will be no tears there. So yes, trials and tragedies can happen that are multitude on various fronts. You never know what tomorrow holds, like Job. I tend to think of it in contemporary terms, that every time the doorbell rang there in the first couple chapters, it was unbelievable what the next messenger said, or even more contemporary terms. I mean, every text that popped up on his phone, Job was reeling over what he was dealing with, and it's hard to even imagine that. And there were things he had to learn. God took them through a process where even Job, as righteous as he was, needed to be sanctified some more.

It was at the end of his struggles that he realized that God is God, and he's not, and that nothing can thwart God's will. So yeah, we've all had those times. Yeah. Well, and speaking of Job, toward the end of his journey, he was crying out to God and saying, it would have been better if I was never born, and he was in anguish. And I think sometimes it's a temptation as believers to think that it's not okay for us to pour our heart out to the Lord vulnerably, as if he doesn't already know what we are thinking and feeling.

Yeah. I mean, I think sometimes we don't want this thought to happen in our prayer, because I don't want God to know what I'm really thinking. Well, stand back and look at that statement for a moment. He knows what you were thinking before you even thought it. He knows the motives of your heart, the secret things of our lives. Everything is laid bare toward him. So I've told people, I don't believe you should lose and be sinful in what you say and lose your sense of reverence.

He still is God. But to articulate the truth of what's on your heart, we should do that. I mean, what proves that? Well, look at the Psalms. The psalmist, David especially, there are those Psalms where he very clearly is articulating his anguish, his consternation, his perplexity, his pain, his fear, his doubt, all of that kind of stuff. But keep reading those same Psalms. He lands on his feet, so to speak, because he takes comfort in his God, and he ends up speaking to himself.

Actually, he talks to himself. And bless the Lord, O my soul. Take comfort in the Lord, O my soul, those kind of things. I love the honesty of David and other writers. The Psalm that comes to mind first to me is Psalm 3. David was in a terrible spot in Psalm 3.

His son Absalom had taken over the throne. David's kicked out of the castle. He's fleeing in the dead of night from Jerusalem, from the palace and the comfort of his palace and all that, running for his life in the dead of night in the desert with just a handful of followers that are left, all except his most loyal follower, and that was Uriah, because he had him murdered. But he's out there, and Psalm 3 starts off with a very honest picture that, oh, we're surrounded.

I mean, if you ask David, how's it going, he's not going to say, oh, fine, fine. He's going to say, well, right now, we're completely surrounded. All these soldiers are highly trained. They're out to kill us.

I know they're really good, because I trained them. And so it's a tight spot. That's the first two verses. He's honest. But then he begins to move in that Psalm and tell you how he actually – it's the attributes of God. He begins to talk about the wisdom of God that he's trusting in. He talks about the love and the goodness and care of God that he takes comfort in and he rests in. He talks about the sovereignty of God at the end of that Psalm and God's future victory that is guaranteed to happen, and he puts his hope in that, not his present circumstances.

Something wrong with being honest with God and others, I just always want to – certainly for my own life, I just want to say, in my times of honesty with the Lord, where I'm pouring out my heart with him, to him, and sometimes not saying anything, I don't know what to say. My only prayer is, oh, God, help me. I don't know what else to say. I still don't want it to ever be something that's irreverent. He's still God.

Yeah. Yeah, I completely understand and relate with what you were just saying, even as far as sometimes there are times when you don't have words, but you know that the Lord understands your heart, and we don't want to be sinful at all in the way that we come to the Lord, but we also don't want to be sinful by holding things back and making it as if he is less than he is and cannot know our heart as it is. Yeah, if I was God, which I'm not, but I would hear it this way, oh, you think you can help yourself some. You only need me, you only need 50 percent of me. And I think it's much more honoring to the Lord for me to confess that I need every aspect of him, and I can do nothing on my own.

I'm hopeless. So when we know the attributes of God, too, would you say that that is a pivotal part of our sanctification in becoming more like him? Absolutely. I would say, you know, Proverbs says that. It's you fear the Lord. You start with the fear of the Lord, and that just means an awe and a reverence of him.

And that's going to include I want to know him, his character, and his ways. And it says that's the beginning of knowledge. That's the beginning of wisdom.

So is that the center of the target? Absolutely. Christ even put eternal life in those terms. This is eternal life, that they may know you and the Son, of course. So yes, that's at the very center, having an accurate view of God. I think a lot of people's problems, whether it's corporately in churches, in Christianity as a whole, evangelicalism, or individual lives, is wrong thinking about God. We need our view of God corrected and enlarged, because everything pours out of that. Absolutely. Well, I hope you've been encouraged today by this episode of Hope in the Morning, and that you find hope as you cling to the attributes of God. Amen.