Thankful

Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the program for you as a family caregiver. We're glad to have you with us today. Hopeforthecaregiver.com. If you are a caregiver right now, you are in the right place. Welcome.

If you're not a caregiver, you're in the right place because if you love somebody, you're going to be a caregiver. If you live long enough, you're going to need one. This is an issue that affects all of us. It is the human condition. Did you know? By the way, did you know? I did some research on this. The aging and mortality rate in this country is still at 100%.

Did you know that? We're all there. We're all getting there.

And we're all here because we're not all there. I'm glad to have you with us along for the ride as we talk about all things related to the family caregiver. We are an at-risk group. I believe that.

I really do. I really believe that caregivers, family caregivers, are an at-risk group. The stress on those who are putting themselves between a chronically impaired loved one and an even worse disaster is difficult to process until you've been there. And you don't realize the conditioning that you're having on your body, on your finances, on your mind, on the way you manage your time, everything.

It is all-consuming whether you're physically doing it at that moment or not. It weighs heavy on you and it's just a part of life. We're not going to change that. But we can change and we can get stronger and be able to handle this a little bit better. And that's why this program exists, to help fellow caregivers learn from my mistakes, from a lifetime of experience, to take it as a lifeline towards you becoming a healthier caregiver.

And healthy caregivers make better caregivers. Remember we talked about this a lot. For those of you brand new, I'm going to go over it again. But those of you who've been with us, it doesn't hurt to have a reminder. Let's put aside the conversation about being happy right now, okay? I'm not saying you shouldn't be happy. I'm not saying you won't be happy. I'm just saying that that is a contingent type of feeling when things are going our way, when we feel good about things. And then we say, okay, we're happy. But that also implies that when those things aren't happening that we're unhappy.

I don't want that kind of seesaw. I've had it. And so I changed my thinking to pursue healthiness. Healthiness is something that I can have control over right now. I can do healthy things for me emotionally, physically, fiscally, spiritually. I do not have to wait for events to change before I make a healthy decision. And it can be as simple as drinking more water instead of sodas or sweet tea or anything else. It can be as simple as turning off the television and sitting there and being still, picking up the scriptures and reading a song, picking up a hymnal, just looking through the text, or just putting your hands in your lap and being still. It can be as simple as going for a walk. It can be as simple as saying no to an impulse purchase.

You follow me on this? These are things we have control of, no matter what's happening with our loved one. We have control of that right now. And we can start seeing benefits to it right now. And you're not denying yourself pleasure, but you're saying yes to a lifestyle that's going to equip you to be more and more settled, peaceful and relaxed and focused and healthier.

And healthy caregivers make better caregivers. I go back to what Alison Krauss, that wonderful singer, songwriter, producer, she said, I'm not looking for bliss. I'm looking for contentment. Scripture talks about this, contentment, being at peace over and over and over again, because I think that's what we really want. We truly want peace.

And we will go to great lengths to grab it. But do we really know what we're asking for? Because if we did, then we would always turn to the one who offers it freely, who is himself the prince of peace. My peace I give unto you, not as the world gives. Well, what kind of peace does the world give?

Let's reverse engineer that a little bit. What does the world offer you that's peace? If you have money and if you have health, if you have status, if nobody's telling you how to live your life, then you can be at peace.

That's pretty much what it is from the world. And yet, who do you know that represents that, that looks at peace, that looks at peace with themselves and with others and with God? I've often wondered this about politicians, some of these people in political office, Nancy Pelosi. I'm not here to knock Nancy Pelosi. I'm not here to knock any of them. I'm just using them as an example.

And they serve as great examples. She's filed to run for reelection to Congress. She is 84 years old.

Okay? Now I want you to think about that for a moment. She's 84. She has, I guess she has grandchildren, but she has a husband, she has a family, she has a life somewhere. And yet she's not leaving Congress. I look at Mitch McConnell, who's just now stepping down. I look at some of these politicians. They're there so long.

By the way, the vast majority of what we deal with as a country could have been dealt with a long time ago with term limits, but let's put that aside for now. Why are these people engaged in all this at their age? I got to wonder. I mean, if I had that kind of money and she's worth a lot of money, like almost $200 million, do you really, I mean, is that something you think you would want to do if you had that kind of money? If I had a fraction of that kind of money, I promise you I wouldn't be spending it in Washington dealing with that craziness, but why are they doing it? Why are we not settled in ourselves to just be at peace with what's going on? And I, that's what I've always kind of wondered.

I mean, I look at this and I'm thinking, gosh, that's crazy, with a capital K, but here we are. I mean, I know what I will be doing at 84 if God sustains me, and it'll probably be doing some form of this, but not at the pace that I do now and not doing the same thing I'm doing now. I don't see anywhere in scripture where it talks about us retiring, you know, as far as our Christian ministry and life. I think that I'll be sharing the gospel to the last breath I have, at least I hope so.

I hope I will be able to physically do that. I know that my father was able to do that to the last week of his life, and then the complications and everything from Parkinson's took over, but as long as he was conscious and able to in any way function, he was ministering, and that's what he was, he was a minister, but as a believer, this is what he did. He wasn't trying to go get another pulpit, though. He wasn't going to try to lead a church, and that's what I kind of scratch my head and wonder at people, why they're taking on things such as that. Lead the spotlight, don't leave the mission, and the mission is always to minister the gospel of Christ to as many people as we're able to. Preach the gospel always, if necessary, use words, Augustine said, but preach and teach, make disciples, and he did that, even through his infirmity, and that's the model that I would aspire to for myself, but I look at these people who are running for office, and they go through the campaign, and they have to get elected and get up there and mix it up with Washington. Washington is such a, I don't know how much time you ever spent up there in D.C., but it's a great place to leave, you know?

It's a great place to leave. I think that learning to be content with where God has us is something that eludes this world. That's what he says. The peace I give is not like the world gives, it's like He gives. Well, what does He give? And that is that we can be content knowing that the steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord. Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He'll direct your path. Thy word is a light unto my path and a lamp unto my feet, a lamp unto my path and a light unto my feet.

You know what I mean. So, are we living this way as caregivers without striving to somehow, okay, if we just get through this, then I can get on with my life, but maybe this is our life and maybe we can be content in it, and maybe we can be at peace in it, and maybe we can see that God is moving in this, which is the antidote to the striving that we have to get out of it. That what the world offers us, health and wealth and status, as this pseudo-peace, God offers something different no matter what's going on around and that is hope for the caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is hope for the caregiver.

We'll be right back. Peter Rosenberger. He's not a preacher, but he's got great hair. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. This is Peter Rosenberger.

Glad to have you with us. PeterRosenberger.com. PeterRosenberger.com.

That's the catch-all site for everything right now simply because I've had to do some workarounds around some domains while we're building some things, pardon our construction. So if you go to PeterRosenberger.com, you'll see everything there. You'll see the story of standing with hope. You'll see the story of hope for the caregiver.

You'll see the story of Gracie. It's all there. It's all there. So take a look at it, and while you're there, also we'll connect you up to our Substack page. Now Substack is an online newsletter and I put a lot of things out there.

Every Monday, I will put out a chapter from my book, A Minute for Caregivers, when every day feels like Monday. I put this out. It's not behind a paywall or anything. You do have to subscribe, but it's a free subscription.

Now there are some things behind a paywall, but you're not required to do it. You're welcome to do it. I have a lot of things out there that I put that are sometimes caregiver related, sometimes not.

I've got articles that I write for various outlets, Fox News, Tribune Media, Guideposts, AARP, LifeWay, all kinds of things that I put out there, and I'd love for you to take advantage of it. But I do have this week's out there, A Minute for Caregivers, when every day feels like Monday, and this one is titled Resistance is Inevitable. I did do a play for those Star Trek fans. Resistance is Feudal with the Borg, but that's a separate issue. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's okay. You're not missing a whole lot.

But anyway, Resistance is Inevitable. We're going into the holiday season, and you're going to be around loved ones. Maybe you haven't been around in a while. Maybe you're going to see your aging parents or whatever, and you're going to see some things that are going to cause you some concern. And a bit of consternation. That's a $5 word that means angst, and you're going to have some angst, and you're going to see some things, and you're going to want to make some changes, possibly.

I want to just give you a heads up on some things to expect that you can hopefully avoid a few land mines, and Resistance is Inevitable. You're going to get it, and here's what I said in this article. While boundaries remain critical to healthy relationships, they sometimes develop through inaccurate information or impaired thinking. Okay, so somebody may be wrong, or they may be impaired, but they're going to set a boundary.

Okay. Caregivers inevitably collide with such boundaries while caring for loved ones. These flawed boundaries may look like resisting rehab for injuries or addiction issues, refusing medications, respecting others' times, or a whole host of other issues. They may be laying down firm boundaries that are important to them, but those boundaries may be founded in either poor information or impairments. Maybe they don't want to stop driving. Maybe they need to.

Okay. Confronting those disputes require caregivers deafness and wisdom. That's not deafness with D-E-A-F. That's D-E-F-T.

It's hard with my southern accent to hear that. Deftness and wisdom, mainly when a loved one is dug in behind years of stubbornness. Do you all have any experience with that?

Raise your head. Do you have a loved one who is dug in behind years of stubbornness? Sometimes all that is needed is clearly explaining the consequences of behavior. But when confronting someone with an addiction or impairment issues, for example, all many caregivers can do is provide buffers to minimize the damage while remaining at safe distances as circumstances deteriorate. You ever get the feeling we as caregivers probably could use an ample supply of emotional bubble wrap? You know, we ought to come up with that.

Remind me to tell you a story about bubble wrap sometime. In other cases, a caregiver must often bite her tongue and learn to like the taste of blood as a loved one experiences the outcome of stubbornness. We may have to let them deal with those consequences. Trying to force a solution against someone's will or boundaries usually creates conflict and failure. Despite resistance or even desired results, we can learn to be at peace with our powerlessness over others' behaviors, their boundaries, and we can instead focus on maintaining our own.

We are powerless over theirs, but we can maintain our own. And I love this quote from Michael J. Fox, My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and inverse proportion to my expectations. And even though I talked about happiness, we talk about that in our society a lot, and I talked about that in the last block where I choose to go with healthiness.

For the purposes of this illustration, I went with Michael J. Fox's quote on that, but Michael J. Fox recognizes that the more he accepts things the way he is, the more happy he becomes. And the less he has of expectations, the more happy he becomes. And expectations can really trip us up as caregivers. We expect them to do something that we want them to do that makes sense for them to do. But they may not be able to do it, and they may not be willing to do it.

Now what are we going to do about it? You can't force them. You can't spend 24-7 trying to do it. Why don't you go ahead and hide all the beer bottles in the house. See how that works. And you stay awake 24-7 to make sure they never drink again or never use again.

Or if they fall every time they get up, you stay awake 24-7 to make sure that they don't fall. If you play it out to the absurd conclusion, then you usually see the truth behind it. But sometimes we have to think way down the road to the absurdity terminus.

Man, I'm using all kinds of high-dollar vocabulary. Y'all not going to believe this is me. The absurdity terminus. When you play it out to that level, you see what can happen and what must happen and what really will happen if we don't change the way we approach this thing. When you go into Thanksgiving, be prepared. And be prepared to observe, not offer commentary. You're going to see things that you don't like. You're going to see things in yourself and in others you don't like or you're uncomfortable with, whatever.

But you don't have to be miserable about it. Just observe. You didn't get here overnight and you're not going to get out of this overnight. And this is all at my Substack page, caregiver.substack.com or you can reach it from peterrosenmurder.com.

And this is all from A Minute for Caregivers. And I would recommend you getting the book. I know it's a shameless plug, but I don't care. I wrote the book for a reason. And it's not going to do any good if you don't read it. This is not a book that you're going to have a hard time reading. It's in short chapters with you really can read any of them, all of them, one at a time, one minute at a time.

And I didn't put it in any kind of linear form. You can start at the back of the book and work backwards. You can play book roulette and just close your eyes and pick a page and find something on that page that's going to help you as a caregiver. That's the reason I wrote it. I did it this way because I understand just how difficult it is to concentrate and to sit down and try to read something. You need something on the fly as a caregiver, don't you? I mean, that's what I do.

I don't know about you, I guess, but I know me. I got to have something on the fly that I can kind of chew on and ponder on. And so I wrote this very dense book, one minute vignettes that you can read at any time at any place and find something that's going to help you that day. I wrote this for the express purpose of providing something that I didn't have through the vast majority of my journey as a caregiver.

And I wanted to be able to say things simply to people so that they could grab a hold of it because I understand how difficult it is. And I really understand how uncomfortable the holiday season is. I just want you and myself to be able to navigate this calmly and maybe even joyfully. And I believe we can do it. Okay.

I really do. I've seen myself do it. It's not easy.

It takes intentionality and it takes a community around you of people that are able to cheer you on. And you may not have that anywhere near you. So let me just substitute for that if I can. Okay. I know I may be a poor substitute because I'm not there with you, but I'm here right now on the air and I'm cheering you on and I've written something for you.

And if you want to start anywhere, just go out to the website and you'll see a little flashing button that says caregiver 911. And I put something out there for you. It's real easy. I mean, I've picked out an episode from a podcast.

You can't push a wheelchair with a clenched fist. I thought that may be a good place to start and I've got a short little video message. It's free. All this is free. And then get the book. The book's not free, but I got to, you know, the publisher wouldn't let me do that.

Okay. And I promise you all the proceeds will help a white haired caregiver take care of a wife who's missing both legs and had 86 surgeries. Go ahead and get the book.

Read it slowly. Give it to somebody you know. Share it with your pastor, counselor, support group, your Sunday school class. Look around you.

There's a caregiver everywhere and it makes a great Christmas gift. If you don't want to get it, you can see one chapter a week out there on my Substack page. Please take advantage of that. Okay.

Please don't try to do this by yourself. Caregivers, it's hard enough. Friends don't let friends care give alone. And also I have something else for you real quick. The last, before we go to a break, the caregiver calendar. Have you seen this?

You can go out, take a look at it. It's at the website again. And I made pictures of our place in Montana and I put quotes on this calendar of things that I've said over the years and I'm going to be putting this all in a new book that comes out in 2025.

I don't know if I told you all this or not. But my publisher that did A Minute for Caregivers is publishing this new book and they're quotes that are married with a portion of a hymn or a scripture of things I've said or written about over the years and I just wanted to punctuate it with scripture or a hymn and it's called The Caregiver Companion. And that'll be out next year. But right now you can get a kind of a preview of that with the caregiver calendar. And they're beautiful pictures here in Montana where we live and Gracie and I have gotten out there and just enjoyed the outdoors.

She hasn't been able to do as much as she'd like as of late but that's going to change. We just got to get through a few hurdles. But God has graciously allowed us to live in this beautiful place that her family has owned for years and I go out and take pictures of it and I thought I'd share it with you all. And you'll love the calendar. There's only one month that I don't put a quote on and it's Memorial Day and you'll understand why when you see it. And if you want to partner with Standing with Hope monthly, we're giving these away. And we also have a caregiver tumbler that says healthy caregivers make better caregivers on it. We're doing that as well.

Just things to remind you. I got to do things that are personal. Just say thank you for supporting the ministry work that Gracie and I have done through Standing with Hope which is the presenting sponsor of everything we do. It's the ministry we founded and we have a prosthetic limb ministry and a caregiver ministry. And it's for the wounded and those who care for them. And by the way, inmates help us recycle prosthetic legs through that.

This has all been Gracie's vision as far as the prosthetic limb ministry. And we do that and you can participate in and see that. And we'd love for you to take advantage of these things just to remind you.

Just so you know you're not alone. That there are other people out there that are cheering you on that have been through it. Here's what we've learned through it. And I'm grateful to be able to share those things with you.

Okay, so that's just a lot of information to give you. But remember this, resistance is inevitable. But you know what? You can be at peace. You can be settled in your spirit. You can be content.

And dare I say it, you can be joyful. Even in the midst of the holidays as a caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver. We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. This is Peter Rosenberger. Glad that you're with us as we start the second half of this program that is an excursion into all things that are family caregiver related.

How do we stay strong and healthy while taking care of someone who is not? That is the whole point of this program. Can we do it? Yeah. How do we do it?

That takes a little time to unpack, but it's not insurmountable. And we've been doing it now for over 12 years. As I draw on a lifetime of experience to offer a lifeline to my fellow caregivers, 39 years ago, next week, I asked Gracie to marry me. I did.

I was young and optimistic and had no idea what I was doing. I said, wilt thou and she wilted? Actually, I wrote out my proposal on the sand at Navarre Beach. She's from the Gulf Coast of Florida. And we were out walking to the beach. That's back when there wasn't a whole lot out there on that beach. And now it's overgrown.

It looks like Miami down there. But it was a beautiful area, beautiful day. It was towards sunset and I wrote it out in the sand. I told her, I said, I pulled a Jesus on her. I wrote it out on the sand. And God loved her for her lack of judgment.

But she said yes. And I am overwhelmed by the journey. It's been filled with many challenges, many dangers, toils, and snares.

But God has sustained us through this and continues to do so. And that's what brings me to this program today. I love getting to do what I do. I love to be able to bear witness to that which I've seen. That's all I'm doing.

These are things that I've learned along the way in caring for a woman with a broken body. And I'm just grateful. I have a lot of gratitude. And speaking of which, please go out to the website. Go to HopeForTheCaregiver.com and check out Gracie's new song.

It's called Thankful. I played it last week as a special preview on this program. But you can go out and stream it wherever you listen. Spotify, Amazon, iTunes, Apple Music, whatever. Whatever you listen on, it's there. And you can download the MP3. I'm not doing a CD release any time in the near future. When's the last time you bought a CD? Honestly, we just don't do that anymore.

We stream stuff and we download the songs that way. And so we're just doing one song about every four months. And this is the one that we did for this month. It's November.

It's the 41st anniversary of her wreck is this month. And it's the first song she's done in a while. And it's a great song. It's a great lyric on its own. But when she sings this lyric, oh my goodness. And it just takes on a whole different meaning to know the story behind the performance of this song that she has given.

And it's a beautiful performance. So I hope you'll take advantage of it. Hey, did you know that I have two new books coming out in 2025? One of them is the children's book that I've been noodling around on for some time. And my publisher, Fidelis Publishing, they picked it up. In fact, my publisher came to me and said, look, we want to take a look at everything you do. Because I didn't think they would do a children's book.

He said, no, no, no. We want to look at everything you do. So I'm very grateful. And so I submitted this one and then another book called The Caregiver Companion. And it features a series of quotes of things that I've written or said over the years.

And I marry it with a scripture or a portion of a hymn. And they're going to re-release a minute for caregivers with that caregiver companion as kind of a set. And they picked up both books on the same day. But I told my agent, I said, well, I've never done two in one day. I'm not used to success of a caregiver. And that sounds too easy.

She said, well, it was easy for today, but it hadn't been easy for the four decades you've been doing this. And my agent is right. And I agree with her. And I said, okay, so Fidelis Publishing, and they've got a lot of books that I think you would like. One of them is a new book by Joe Bonsall that was released posthumously.

Joe passed away this past summer. And I was down there in Nashville for the release of this at the Country Music Hall of Fame. Joe asked me to endorse this book and I was very grateful to do it. It's a good book. It's called I See Myself. And that's at my website as well if you want to see more about that.

And my video of speaking at this event is out there as well. And I think you'll like it. I think you'll be real pleased.

And it was a very meaningful time. But Fidelis is a wonderful publisher and I'm very grateful. This will be my second and third book that they've done. And then I've got another one that is looking at for 2026. And then, well, we've got lots of projects to it. But in this book, I wanted to share with you one of the quotes that's in this book, The Caregiving Companion. And we're going to talk about this going into Thanksgiving week.

Okay? Because this is a tough time for us as caregivers on a good day. But we also go in there and there's going to be a lot of food. We eat a lot.

And we want to stay healthy as best as we can. And it's hard to do that. I was at a friend's funeral in Nashville last month. And, you know, do you realize how hard it is to stay on a diet when you are at a southern funeral?

I mean, no kidding. It's a little bit challenging. So anyway, but here I want to read every show I think from here on out. I'm going to just maybe take one of these quotes and share it with you. I put some of these on the new caregiver calendar that I put out there. I took pictures of our place out here in Montana. The landscape out here is just so spectacular.

You don't even have to be a really good photographer. And so I took a bunch of pictures and made them into a calendar. And then I put a quote on each of the pictures as kind of a precursor to this new book that's coming out.

But I wanted to read this quote to you. While many caregivers struggle with weight, the greatest weight is around our heart. Dealing appropriately with the weight carried by our heart better equips us to address our waistline. And the scripture that I put with this is Proverbs 12 25.

Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad. That's it. That's it.

That's all I put on that one page for that. Because I know how difficult it is to be a caregiver. And I don't have time to digest lots and lots of stuff. I just don't. I have to listen to pretty much everything I read now.

I don't read it. I listen to it simply because I'm doing laundry and cooking and cleaning and doing all the things that I do. So when I wrote something down for fellow caregivers to read, I wanted to give them something that was incredibly dense that they could hold onto for the moment, but it's not going to take a lot of time for them. So while many caregivers struggle with weight, the greatest weight is around our heart.

Dealing appropriately with the weight carried by our heart better equips us to address our waistline. Okay, now you know this year I've worked on losing a lot of weight. And these last couple of trips I've had to make, particularly that funeral did not help me very much, but I'm getting back on the saddle and Dale, my coach who is, she is a task master, and she could give you no quarter. And you can see more about her out at the website as well. Go under Peter recommends at the website. Go to HopeForTheCaregiver.com.

Just look at Peter recommends and you'll see more about Dale. You'll decide if this program is right for you. It's been very effective for me, but I had to come to a mental point. I wasn't obese, but I was chunky. I got a little chunky. Two months in the hospital last year in Denver was not easy on me as a caregiver.

And they have Chick-fil-A there and Waffle House in Denver, which is way too close for my ability to say no. So I've got to spend two months in the hospital at the end of January and February with Gracie for another round that we got to go through. And I'm going to be very careful down there to watch what I eat. But I love the scripture, Proverbs 12, 25, anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

How many of you all feel anxiety in your heart? Well, it weighs us down and we want comfort. And the refrigerator is just way too close. And I get it.

I truly do. You know, and when you get like I got and you weigh so much that you're leaving footprints of dry concrete, it's time to lose some weight. And I get it, but it has to be starting from a heart place.

Why am I doing this? And part of that is I want to be a good steward of what God has given me, which is this body. And this is the body that Gracie depends upon to be healthy.

Gracie doesn't need me being a slug and look like Jabba the Hutt. She needs me to be fit, to be healthy, to be strong. And I, in order to do the duties that I need to do as her caregiver, I've got to be healthier.

I've told you all this before. One of the most heartbreaking things I've ever seen was at a doctor's office. And I saw this very old ancient frail woman in a wheelchair who looked like she had spent, well, she had a lot of challenges and she was on oxygen and her daughter, I found that out because they called her up to the counter and she identified herself as her daughter, was pushing the wheelchair. She's pushing her mother in a wheelchair. Her mother's on oxygen and the daughter is pushing the wheelchair. And the daughter is morbidly obese. I mean, she was very, very large. And I thought, oh my goodness, what's going to happen if that daughter has some type of health episode to that woman?

And it was the infirmed pushing the infirmed. And so I want to be able to go into this issue with kindness and compassion and understanding this is not me pointing a finger and judging or any way, fashion or form. I respect the amount of trauma that any caregiver is dealing with at any given point. I really do. I really respect it. But I also know that we're not helping one another unless we're pointing each other to safety.

We may not be able to do it all on a timely manner. It may take a while to work up the courage to that, but I'm going to keep speaking that good word to make you glad. And that good word is this, that he who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it. That your savior is acquainted with your challenges and he knows you and that you can be equipped to do this. You can do this.

You can put down that and pick up this instead. You can start today to be a healthier caregiver. Let's deal with the stress that's on your heart though. That striving that's in your heart. The good word is this, is that you don't have to be a slave to that. You can trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.

And that is a good word. And that is the antidote to the striving that seems to consume us at any given point, particularly as caregivers. Do we trust him or not? Once we deal with that issue, we are better equipped to deal with the weight issue. Anxiety is not good for us.

Scripture reminds us of this repeatedly. Let's deal with that anxiety. Let's deal with it before Thanksgiving.

What do you think? I'm not saying we're not going to all put on a little bit, but it doesn't have to own us because we can be at peace. We can be calmer. We can be healthier and that is Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. We'll be right back.

Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger and that is Mylon LeFevre. I went way back into the groove yard for that one. That is from 1991 or 2 I think. Just an amazing performance of that song. That chorus that we all love so much, but they really brought it on that.

And yeah, I know the production is a bit dated, but I still love it. It's just, it's awesome and it is a great message to remember to give thanks and this is going to be a wonderful week. It doesn't have to be everything you thought it would be. Okay?

You know, nostalgia ain't what it used to be, y'all. And so as you go into this week and you've got family and friends coming in, some of it's going to get a little weird and it seems there's always that one family member that everybody walks around on eggshells with and just don't let it be you. Okay? If you get through Thanksgiving without the police called, hey, it's a home run.

You know, it's a home run. And don't stress over it and don't stress over trying to make it perfect. If you have to do some pre-cooked stuff, frozen stuff, takeout stuff, whatever, the whole point is that we just give thanks.

Okay? We just give thanks. That's the whole point of this. And you think about how amazing it is to live in a country where we do take time out to give thanks. And the point was not to give thanks arbitrarily, but to specifically give thanks to God for what he's done and the blessings that we have in this country. You know, we've just been through a pretty contentious election season.

Of course it was contingent, not pretty contentious, very contentious. And yet I look at the fact that we're coming together as a nation and yeah, there are some people there that are still griping and some Democrat governors that are threatened to make sure they don't give Trump any kind of lead way. But then you see crazy things like Mika, what's her name? Mika Sibrynsky?

I don't know. Mika and Joe Scarborough going down to see Trump at Mar-a-Lago and you know, the most strangest of people are coming together to try to somehow have some kind of, you know, truce, if you will. It may not last, may not work, who knows, but we can model that because God came to us. We couldn't get to him and he made a truce with us.

He poured his wrath out, not on us, but on himself, through his son on the cross. And for that, we can be thankful no matter what's going on at Thanksgiving, as a caregiver, no matter what, we can be thankful. Now, some of you all may be spending this time in a hospital, been there, I've told you this.

Some of you all may have, you know, a lot of sadness in this time of year, been there, done that. I'll never forget Gracie's grandmother, who was just a delightful woman. Her name was Mary Emma, Mary Emma Parker.

My mother's name is Mary Emma. Gracie's grandmother, this is her dad's mother. They were all sitting around the cafeteria table for Thanksgiving at the hospital in Nashville, at St. Thomas Hospital, and didn't know whether Gracie would be alive or not. She was in a coma for three weeks following her wreck on November 18th.

And some of you can imagine what that's like. Now, I didn't know Gracie at the time, but I've heard this story many times, so I thought I'd just leave it with you all. Gracie's grandmother, she was a beautiful woman, a delightful woman. I did get to know her for many, many years and was enthralled with her.

Just a lovely, lovely woman. And she had deep roots in East Tennessee. Gracie is herself a ninth generation Tennessean. And Gracie's grandmother was a member of the Daughters of American Revolution. I mean, she was just, she embodied so much. And I could spend a lot of time talking about her, but she did something at the hospital that changed the direction for everybody.

Now, you got to think about this. Gracie was hurt on November 18th. Her family was getting prepared for Thanksgiving, and, you know, people are going to be coming in and so forth. And I've had Thanksgiving at that home down there with her grandmother making it, and they put on a spread.

Oh my goodness. But this year, all of that stopped when they got this terrible call that Gracie had been hurt. And they all dropped everything and went to Nashville. They didn't know anybody really there. Just a few people. Gracie was at school at Belmont, and there were very few people that they knew. And they were sitting there just very lonely in the hospital cafeteria.

Some of you know what that's like. Hospital cafeterias can be extremely lonely places. The food at St. Thomas over the years improved dramatically. During that time, it was not all that great. The nuns were in the hospital, and I don't think they were all that worked up about, you know, culinary delights. They felt like it was probably a good thing for everybody to suffer. But the food was not that great.

It is now. Well, I hadn't been there many years, but it got better before we left Nashville. The last time I was there at the cafeteria, it was pretty good.

But at the time, no. So this little sad family is sitting around the table. It's Thanksgiving. They're in a strange city. Their family member is the floor above them. The critical care pods were on the second floor. The cafeteria is on the first. One floor above them, Gracie is hanging on to life by a thread.

Nobody knows what's going to happen. The little bit of time they get to go in and see her in the ICU was just horrific, because Gracie was so, so banged up. And it's Thanksgiving day. Grandmother Parker pulls out of her purse a little paper turkey that you put on the table, like they did in school. And she put it on the hospital cafeteria table.

And everybody just stopped for a moment. And she normalized the abnormal. She brought a little bit of sense into the senseless, a bit of tradition into the unknown. And she had a few little tiny decorations for Thanksgiving.

And they sat around and had institutional Thanksgiving meal. And they gave thanks. They gave thanks that Gracie wasn't dead.

By all conventional standards she should have been. But she not only didn't die, she's gone on to live an extraordinary life. And while her life is very difficult, there's a lot to be thankful for. And we do have, as Christians, the ultimate to be thankful for.

That God has seen fit for whatever reason to claim us as His own. You may have to help an impaired loved one eat their Thanksgiving meal. You may have to serve it to them.

You may do all of this by yourself. And in those moments when you feel so lonely, so heartsick, take a moment to remember Gracie's grandmother who put a paper turkey on the table at a hospital cafeteria, a hospital she didn't even know existed until her granddaughter got hurt. They didn't know if Gracie was going to live. But some things are worth stopping for and giving thanks. That though the path seems uncertain, and it does, I still go back and laugh at all the times during COVID people said during these uncertain times, you and I both know as caregivers, they've never been certain.

The only certainty we have is that we have no idea what's around the corner when it comes to caregiving. But the certainty that we cling to is that God is who He says He is, even in caregiving. That He who began a good work is faithful to complete it. That His mercies are new every single morning. As Jeremiah said in Lamentations, these are things that are certain. These are things that are immutable. That God, He's unchanging. Thou changest not. Thy compassion's they fail not.

He's the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. And as we deal with the ebbs and flows and the winds and the storms that accompany our life, particularly as caregivers, I am strengthened and I am bolstered that our God changes not. Oh God, our help in ages past. Our hope for years to come. Our shelter from the stormy blast, even in a hospital on Thanksgiving Day and our eternal home. If you're looking at an empty chair this year, if you're in a hospital, if you're looking at someone across the table who doesn't recognize you anymore, if any of those things or things that are too numerous to mention are a part of your Thanksgiving and your heart falters at those things, remember a paper turkey that a woman put on a hospital cafeteria just one floor below her granddaughter fighting for her life to say, we're going to be thankful. We're going to have Thanksgiving to the best of our abilities and we're going to be grateful.

And she was. She lived an exceptional life of gratitude. I would honor her memory by doing the same.

And I invite you to do it with me. Let's be grateful. Let's give thanks. If you need some help with that, I offer Gracie's song Thankful. It's wherever you download music or certainly at our website, hopeforthecaregiver.com and happy Thanksgiving. And I'm thankful that this woman that you're listening to right now, she lived and what a life she's lived. Happy Thanksgiving. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the caregiver.

Hopeforthecaregiver.com. Here's Gracie. Have you ever had to change sheets in the middle of the night? You ever had to deal with a spill or mishap in bed, wound care issues. We've been dealing with that lately with Gracie's legs. She's got a wound that just does not want to heal up. Sometimes that wound just oozes. It makes a terrible mess. It's got to change the sheets.

I've been looking around for a product to help with this because, you know, nobody ever told me when I was a caregiver that it involves so much laundry, but it does. Guess what? There's a company called PELAWAYS. P-E-E-L-A-W-A-Y-S. PELAWAYS.

Just like it sounds. They're fitted sheets with built-in layers of chucks, you know, like liners they put in beds in hospitals. But they're built in. They're perforated on either side. Not at the bottom, not at the top.

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