Caregivers and Situational Awareness

What do you say to a caregiver?

How do you help a caregiver? I was talking to this billing agent at the doctor's office and said, how are you feeling? And she said, oh great It's Friday. And before I could catch myself, I said Friday means nothing to me. Every day is Monday. And I felt kind of ashamed of that and I'm sorry for that, but I realized that whole principle of every day is Monday. What that means for us as caregivers, we know that this is going to be a challenging day. And I wrote these one-minute chapters.

You literally could read them in one minute. And I'm really proud of this book. It's called A Minute for Caregivers, when every day feels like Monday. It's filled with bedrock principles that we as caregivers can lean on, that we can depend upon to get us to safety, where we can catch our breath, take a knee if we have to, and reorient our thinking and the weight that we carry on our shoulders. If you don't know what to say to a caregiver, don't worry about it.

I do. Give them this book. Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio.

This is Peter Rosenberger, glad to have you along. Healthy caregivers make better caregivers, and that's what this program is all about. How do you help a caregiver get healthy? Stay healthy? Value healthiness? What does that mean?

What are the impacts? What does that look like? That's what this program is all about. Hopeforthecaregiver.com.

Hopeforthecaregiver.com. I want to thank you all for allowing me to step away from the microphone last week. I was doing some caregiving duty. For those of you who are new to the program, I've been a caregiver now for nearly 40 years, and my wife has extensive medical needs, and we return to Denver for the second time within a week. We fly out from Montana. It's about an hour and a half flight down there, and I implored the surgeon. I said, can we do this in video conference? He said no, and so I wrote a song about it. I did this on social media.

Let's see if I can do that for you. I'm a little bit foggy this morning because spring has sprung in Montana. I know it's summer for the rest of the world, but up here, it's just now spring.

We've got a lot of rain and things are blooming. But I wrote this, we're off to see the surgeon, the wonderful surgeon of bones. It's only for a consult, and we'd rather stay at home.

He said he needed a face-to-face, and we must see him at his place. So once again, we get to ride a plane and be thoroughly groped by the TSA. We're off to see the surgeon, the wonderful surgeon of bones. So anyway, you got to have fun where you can when you deal with these things as caregivers, and we went to this surgeon, and I'm going to talk about that probably in the next block. But before I get to that, I gotta just tell y'all something.

This just flies all over me. All right, now here's how we get through the airport. I don't know how you do it, but here's how we do it. Gracie's in her wheelchair, and when we're doing just a one-night trip or even a two-night trip, I'm very tight on packing because it's a lot to carry luggage and push a wheelchair.

I don't know if you've ever tried it or not. And it also adds a lot of time and so forth. So I've done the Herculean task, the unimaginable of getting my wife to consolidate when it comes to packing. Normally, she would prefer to have a couple of Sherpas with her, of which I am their chief, but to her credit, she has really tightened this up so we can take just a carry-on bag, her purse, and maybe a small bag that fits on top of the carry-on, the roller bag, okay?

That's the max we travel with for a one-night or two-night stay, which is pretty good. I tell Gracie she's the only person I know that has a trailer hitch on her wheelchair because she likes to take a lot of stuff, and it's a bit challenging. But anyway, that's how we do it. So she usually carries her purse and her crutches. I will double pack the roller bag, and I will hold her hand, and we'll go through the airport.

Now, sometimes I'll push her wheelchair one-handed, and I could do that. Usually it's pretty, but I grab her hair when I do it. I don't mean to, but she has this beautiful, long, lustrous hair, and every now and then I'll grab it. And make no mistake, she will let me know that I just grabbed her hair. In fact, people all over the concourse can hear that I grabbed her hair.

It's quite exciting. So anyway, I try to be very careful with that, and when I push her, I usually hold her hand, and she'll just hold on to me tight, and then I'll just go through the airport, and she'll just roll along beside me. And when there's not carpet on the airport concourse, then it's pretty easy, because those marble floors make it almost effortless to pull the wheelchair.

Now, here's the problem. It takes a good bit of inertia to get a good clip going, so I'm not dragging the wheelchair, but it's going, and it's moving along, and so we're walking you know, at a nice pace. Have you ever noticed how many people just walk around cluelessly in the airport? And I'm okay with that. I mean, feel free. I mean, you know, that's it's a free country, but try to move a little bit out of the line of traffic. You know, if you're going to sit there and have a conversation, don't do it in the middle of the concourse where people are moving back and forth. And I can't stop on a dime with Gracie, and I get so frustrated, and I've told Gracie, why don't you just hold one of your crutches out there? No, I'm just kidding.

She's not going to do that. But then you got people that are walking around texting while they're walking in an airport. Have you have you encountered this phenomenon of people who are just ambling around looking at their phones, and I do confess that I have on occasion barked and said, heads up, because we're about ready to have a collision.

And they're just sitting there texting in the middle of the concourse, just aimlessly walking around. And I'm like, oh, how do these people function in life? I'm curious if any of you all have had the same frustrations of people who lack situational awareness.

And that's something I want to hammer in on this particular block. As caregivers, do you feel like you have enhanced situational awareness? I mean, is that something that you feel like you have developed that you can look at now that I didn't used to be this way, but I am now? Because like when I go into a room, I immediately see where the exits are. I can read the room. I know where chairs and tables and all that kind of stuff is.

I mean, how it's all laid out. I can see people in my peripheral. And I don't know, I did martial arts training. I'm a second degree black belt. I don't know if you all know that or not. Some of you may know that. You've heard of Shogun.

Well, I'm Shonuff. Oh, I'm just kidding. But no, I do have a second degree black belt. And part of that is learning to read things quickly. But I don't know if that's martial arts, if that's caregiving, if that's all the above, that's just life. But I'm noticing as I get older that a lot of people don't have that.

They are not aware of what's going on around them. And I know that when we get into unfamiliar places, yeah, we can get disoriented. And I get that. I'm a little bit obsessive on that regards because I will case out joints first before I bring Gracie to them. I will learn the lay of the land as best as I can before I ever bring her into a situation. Just simply because I don't like being lost with her and at a disadvantage where I don't know where I'm going. So I will study the maps and layouts and look at the things and pay attention and all those kinds of stuff.

I'm her advanced team, if you will. And I kind of do that even when I'm by myself. But I don't remember a time when that started happening. I think that's just evolved over time as a caregiver because I'm dealing with logistics so much. And I'm just curious to see whether or not that's something that you do that happens with you.

You do that happens with you when you are out with people or in a room. There's just always this situational awareness factor with me. And I've told this to the church editor because Gracie took a fall on Easter Sunday. And I am very careful with her. I try so hard to watch. I turn my back literally for 10 seconds and she fell.

And it was just one of those things. And I tell people at the little church where we're at here, I say, look, if she's walking, I'm working. So I'm paying attention to her to make sure she doesn't trip. Her right foot is dragging just a hair. And we need to get with her prosthetist to change her prosthetic foot.

So that gives her a little bit more what they call, she could tow off of it better. But we're trying to make those adjustments on the fly. But in the meantime, if she's up on her crutches and she's walking, I am working. And if we're in a crowded place, I'm working. Situational awareness of how we fit in space and time and the crowds that are not paying attention.

And I mean, I look both ways at a roundabout. That's how much I trust human beings, because I just feel like that we live in a world where people are lost in themselves and they're oblivious to what's going on around. And I think situational awareness is absolutely critical to us as family caregivers, particularly when we're in crowded places, public transportation, planes, and all those kinds of things. If we're not aware, things can go awry pretty quick.

I'd like to hear your thoughts. Hope for the caregiver dot com. There's a contact form there. Let me know.

I mean, maybe I'm the only one. I don't think so. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is hope for the caregiver. Healthy caregivers make better caregivers. Caregivers with situational awareness make better caregivers.

We'll be right back. I'm Gracie Rosenberger. And 26 years ago, I walked for the first time on two prosthetic legs. I saw firsthand how important quality prosthetic limbs are to an amputee. This understanding compelled me to establish standing with hope. For more than a dozen years, we've been working with the government of Ghana in West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people. On a regular basis, we purchase and ship equipment and supplies.

And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison, we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit standingwithhope.com to learn more and participate in lifting others up. That's standingwithhope.com.

I'm Gracie, and I'm standing with hope. As a caregiver, think about all the legal documents you need. Power of attorney, a will, living wills, and so many more. Then think about such things as disputes about medical bills. What if, instead of shelling out hefty fees for a few days of legal help, you paid a monthly membership and got a law firm for life? Well, we're taking legal representation and making some revisions in the form of accessible, affordable, full-service coverage.

Finally, you can live life knowing you have a lawyer in your back pocket who, at the same time, isn't emptying it. It's called Legal Shield, and it's practical, affordable, and a must for the family caregiver. Visit caregiverlegal.com. That's caregiverlegal.com.

Isn't it about time someone started advocating for you? www.caregiverlegal.com, an independent associate. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberg. Glad to have you with us today. Healthy caregivers make better caregivers.

Hopeforthecaregiver.com. Before I move on to the next subject, I did want to say one thing. Yes, I know they have people you can call in the airport to help you get from terminal to gate and so forth. I get that. I often do that, particularly in large airports. When we go to Minneapolis or Atlanta or places like that, when I'm going in and out of Denver, it's a lot easier if I don't, because I end up having to wait on those people. And we're usually on a pretty tight schedule.

And I often found it takes longer. Our airport that we fly out of here in Bozeman is pretty small. I get around. We know most of the people, and they're very good to help me get her up and down the jetway. And I will have them push her while I, again, perform my Sherpa duties and get her all loaded up into the plane, all her stuff, and help her transfer and things like that. So I will hand her off to let somebody else push her down the jetway or push her up the jetway. I usually tell them to be careful that she's a biter. And she gets indignant with me when I say that.

No, they are very gracious and they help her. So yes, I know those things when we get into certain airports. That's exactly what I do.

We get the golf carts and with the horns and so we can zip through. And I get that. That's what we do.

So anyway, yes, I do have situational awareness for that. But I think the point is for us as caregivers, we have the responsibility for this. Otherwise, we're going to get into some trouble. There are certain things we just don't do, places we avoid, things such as that, because we're having to do this for two. And on a very serious note, you've seen these protests out in the streets where they block traffic and they come up and they start beating on cars and so forth.

Well, we need to have situational awareness with it. I was talking to the shuttle driver that's taking us from the hotel to the airport just on this last trip. And some of these riders were blocking the road he related at an event that happened a while back. And they started coming towards his shuttle van with baseball bats. What do you do in a situation like that, particularly if you have somebody who is disabled?

And he was able to effectively survive that. Pretty harrowing, what he said. But these are things that weigh on my mind if I'm going to some place with Gracie to make sure that I have a way of escape with her, that I know where the exits are. Do you know where the exits are? Do you know which streets you need to avoid or things such as that when you're out with your loved one? We live in a crazy world right now. I don't have this problem in Montana. The only thing that blocks my road here where we live. I mean, we live 10 miles from a paved road. So the only thing that blocks it is the cattle drives, which is fun to stop and watch. But when I lived in Nashville, I remember I was trying to get to the pharmacy before they closed.

I had a prescription that I had to get for Gracie. And there was these knuckleheads out there laying down in the street to protest who knows what. And the cops made us all stop. And we had to indulge these maniacs who decided it's a good thing to go out and lay out in the middle of a busy street. It's right there.

If you know Nashville at all, it's right there on Hillsboro Road in Green Hills. A very busy street. And man, I was fit to be tied. And I looked at the cop and I said, I got to go make this happen.

And I was on a deadline with this, and we were able to maneuver around them. But that's just one small example of things that can happen in this world. I'm seeing people on the news regularly being attacked in our major cities. And if you have somebody with you who has any type of impairment, you got to think for two.

And how fast are you? How capable are you of defending yourself? How capable are you of defending your loved one? Because if they take you out, then your loved one is left to their mercy.

So if these people come at me, then who's going to watch after Gracie? These are things that, you know, anytime I leave our little oasis out here in Montana, I think about stuff like that, even while I'm here. In the wintertime, we have a, you know, a bunch of stuff in the car that we keep. Emergency packs, blankets, you know, heavy boots, gloves, all those kinds of things. A shovel on days when the weather's really bad. I'll keep all those things. I've got a thing my brother-in-law gave me that helps me inflate the tires.

I can charge up cell phones, whatever. But I am always aware of that kind of stuff. I don't know that I used to be as much when I started out on this thing. Of course, I was 22.

I wasn't aware of a lot of things. But as I get older and I see the dangerous world that we live in, I mean, do you think that for one moment I'm going to take Gracie on a New York City subway? First off, I'm not going to New York, but think about that. I'm not going to do that. Yeah, it'll cost me more money to have a taxi or car service. But, you know, that's just the way it is. But I'm not going to go to New York with her anytime in the near future. And I have no plans to go there myself. So there is that.

But I do think the point is made that we as caregivers have that extra responsibility. What does that for you? What helps you see these things better?

How have you changed in this? Do you just don't go out to certain places? I recommend that, by the way. There are parts of any major urban area you just don't go to. You know, you could go to certain parts of Chicago and get shot while getting shot. You know, I mean, it's you don't put yourself in these situations. But if you live there, how do you function?

How do you get out? I know people who listen to this program regularly who live in neighborhoods that have gotten increasingly more dangerous. Do you protect yourself with firearms?

Do you have security systems? Do you avoid going out at night or on certain days or when you know there's going to be gatherings? I don't go to places where there's crowds. I just don't like to do it anymore.

It's just too much work. I love concerts. And over the years, Gracie and I get to go to a lot of great concerts. But the last thing I want to do is go to an arena or a stadium full of people.

It's there's just too many moving parts, and I don't want to do it and I don't trust people. So I like living in a small town where I know all my neighbors. I remember when we lived in Nashville and there were many times I went downtown Nashville with Gracie, wheelchair, didn't even think anything of it. But I would never do that now in Nashville. That's not the Nashville that we do.

I mean, we moved there in the early 80s. And I do not wish to in any way expose ourselves to that because logistically you get trapped and things happen and you are really in a pickle. I mean, that's just the way I look at it. Maybe I'm being too hyper vigilant about it, too hypersensitive about it.

I don't think so. But situational awareness is important. It's just not worth the risk to her or to me. I don't even want to do these things when I'm not with her. I don't like being around a bunch of people pressing in on you because the world has just gotten too crazy.

And I'm sorry, that's just the way it is. And so I'm always looking for the space. People are asking me the other day, they were going to come out and say, what if we come out to Montana for the summer, what should we go see? And, you know, they're immediately thinking of Yellowstone. And I said, well, most of Yellowstone is in Wyoming. And if you want to be around crowds and a lot of traffic, go to Yellowstone. But if you want to see Montana and if you want to be able to enjoy what this state offers, then I would recommend off the beaten path. There's a lot of other places. And I won't deny that Yellowstone is an absolutely spectacular place to visit.

We've been down there many times and I try to pace it out when the tourists aren't here too much because it can get a bit crazy down there. They have a saying out here, we call them Turons, moron tourists, Turons, because they get out and try to pet the buffalo and, you know, touch the water in those geysers and all the paint pots that are out there. And, you know, people die every year. They get hurt every year. I mean, just stupid stuff.

So they call them Turons. Don't try to pet the fluffy cows. You see wildlife that you don't normally see, and people want to try and approach it. Did you know, by the way, that there are more people killed every year by moose than there are by grizzlies?

Look it up. And we have moose that frequently, one morning I woke up and there were three. In our yard, a big bull, and then a mama with her baby. And do you know what I did?

I stayed away from them. I got pictures, but I got them from a distance because you don't want to go up near a mama moose with her baby. That's called situational awareness on steroids because you don't want to do it. And they're beautiful to watch, but do it from a safe distance kind of thing. Well, you go down to Yellowstone and man, people leap out of their cars before they've even stopped and try to get a picture of a Buffalo and that Buffalo will charge. So the Turons, be aware, but there's a lot to see out here besides being in a crowd of people in cars, like you're going through African safari down there at Disney World. This is not Disney World.

And the trees are real here. And so are the animals and they will do things to you. And that's called situational awareness. Being aware of your environment.

Again, I'm going to just beat that drum because I've been in an airport where people are not, and it makes me a little bit nuts. I think you figured that out by now. So we have a lot of planning to do as caregivers to make sure that our loved ones and ourselves get wherever we need to go safely. And it's on us to do it. It's on us to do it. We're having to think for two. We're having to defend for two. We're having to plan for two, at least.

And so it's on us. What do you do? How do you function?

What are the things that you incorporate? You know, do you need a home security system? They get through, do you? If you don't already have one, do you need one? Do you need a firearm?

They get through. Are you just terrified to touch them or would you prefer to have the safety of knowing that you can defend yourself and your loved one if required? These are important questions to ask in this world we live in today. Law enforcement can't get there in time for many people.

They're the cleanup crew. Now, I'm not recommending that you go out and do this, or this, or this, or whatever. But if you do get one, get the training you need. Okay? Get the training. Be aware of what's going on around you. Be prepared to care in a way that maybe we didn't have to in days gone by, but we do now. Okay?

Situational awareness. I kind of got off on a tangent on that. We'll get back to our regular schedule. Program in a moment, if this is Peter Rosenberger, let's hope for the caregiving.

We'll be right back. You've heard me talk about standing with hope over the years. This is the prosthetic limb ministry that Gracie envisioned after losing both of her legs. Part of that outreach is our prosthetic limb recycling program. Did you know that prosthetic limbs can be recycled?

No kidding. There is a correctional facility in Arizona that helps us recycle prosthetic limbs. And this facility is run by a group out of Nashville called CoreCivic.

And we met them over 11 years ago. And they stepped in to help us with this recycling program of taking prostheses and you disassemble them. You take the knee, the foot, the pylon, the tube clamps, the adapters, the screws, the liners, the prosthetic socks. All these things we can reuse, and inmates help us do it.

Before CoreCivic came along, I was sitting on the floor at our house or out in the garage when we lived in Nashville. And I had tools everywhere, limbs everywhere, and feet, boxes of them, so forth. And I was doing all this myself, and I'd make the kids help me.

And it got to be too much for me. And so I was very grateful that CoreCivic stepped up and said, look, we are always looking for faith-based programs that are interesting and that give, you know, that give inmates a sense of satisfaction, and we'd love to be a part of this. And that's what they're doing. And you can see more about that at StandingWithHope.com slash recycle. So please help us get the word out that we do recycle prosthetic limbs. We do arms as well, but the majority of amputations are lower limb.

And that's where the focus of Standing With Hope is. That's where Gracie's life is with her lower limb prostheses. And she's used some of her own limbs in this outreach that she's recycled. Obviously, she's been an amputee for over 30 years.

So you go through a lot of legs and parts and other types of materials, and you can reuse prosthetic socks and liners if they're in good shape. All of this helps give the gift that keeps on walking. And it goes to this prison in Arizona where it's such an extraordinary ministry.

Think with that. Inmates volunteering for this. They want to do it.

And they've had amazing times with it. And I've had very moving conversation with the inmates that work in this program. And you can see, again, all of that at StandingWithHope.com slash recycle. They're putting together a big shipment right now for us to ship over. We do this pretty regularly throughout the year as inventory rises, and they need it badly in Ghana. So please go out to StandingWithHope.com slash recycle and get the word out and help us do more. If you want to offset some of the shipping, you can always go to the giving page and be a part of what we're doing there.

We're purchasing material in Ghana that they have to use that can't be recycled. We're shipping over stuff that can be. And we're doing all of this to lift others up and to point them to Christ. And that's the whole purpose of everything that we do. And that is why Gracie and I continue to be standing with hope. StandingWithHope.com