Put it In His Hands

Jesus said, Blessed are the persecuted, and they are suffering big time right now. This is Bible League International, and 19-year-old Aria was beaten by her own father and violated by local authorities. You know what her crime was?

Simply that she gave her life to Jesus Christ after leaving radical Islam. They need Bibles in order to endure and persevere. And that's why Truth Network and Bible League are teamed up to send God's Word to 3500 persecuted believers around the world at $5 a Bible, $100 Synth 20, call 800-YES-WORD, 800-YES-WORD, 800-YES-WORD, or give at truthnetwork.com. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the program for you as a family caregiver. We're glad to have you with us, hopeforthecaregiver.com.

That is Sweet Glow of Mercy by Gary Chapman, and I have Gary with me on the line joining us for this special Father's Day program. Gary, welcome to the program. Again, it's so great to have you here. Man, thank you.

Thanks for having me. I love Father's Day. I love that song, too, by the way. That's a wonderful song. You wrote that, what, 20-something years ago?

Well, I love the way you just completely ignore the calendar. No, that is closer to 30, brother. Sorry. Oh, man.

Well, age creeps up on us. Well, it is Father's Day. No, I wrote that last week.

No, it was last week, I think. Well, that song, I remember hearing it for the first time, and I love the message of that song, and I think that's a great song to launch into a Father's Day conversation, Sweet Glow of Mercy, because I think a lot of us, as fathers, as we walk through this journey, mercy becomes a more important word to us as we get a little older and see the relationships develop over time in our lives and see what God has done and given us great mercy. So tell us a little bit about Father's Day for you, and then I want to get into a special story that you have with your dad, but just as for you as a dad, and I think now as a grandfather. Yes, I am a grandfather.

I had sort of given up hope on that. My kids, at least two of them, were of the mindset after far too much liberal college that they shouldn't consider bringing another human being onto this horrible planet, right? But one of them donated a kidney to her best friend three years ago, and it's a long, beautiful story.

Father can't get much more proud of somebody that does that. And she just, I don't know, something shifted. So yeah, Penelope came into our lives about four or five months ago. She's a fabulous little human. You know, I've got four kids. I have a now 34-year-old son, daughters 32, I guess almost 30 now, and just turned nine.

I'm that guy. So my wife and I decided to adopt a little girl nine years ago, and little Eva Rose has changed our world dramatically in all the best ways. My first three, I think I had it in my head that somehow I was supposed to try to live life as well as I could, and hopefully they would mimic the good things that I did and sort of turn into little replicas in some way.

Be their own person, but you know, I'm supposed to affect them, and this one has turned it all upside down. I want to be just like her. When I saw pictures of her rock climbing the other day, did you do it too? You know, Cassie was with her on that outing. I was not there, but we have done, there's nothing that you can want to do with Eva Rose that she won't do. She is absolutely fearless, which generates tremendous amounts of fear for me, but she's, man, you just have to see it to believe it. She casually... I have pictures of Gracie rock climbing.

Tell me about stress. There you go. Yeah. Okay. Well, yeah. So that does put a different perspective on it. Yeah.

Legs do help. It was a moment, I promise you. It was a moment. So get, hey, get ready because look at me and then recognize this is what's going to happen to you. Don't let this happen to somebody you love.

Look at me. This is what stress does to a human being because you're going to, she's going to be doing more of these kinds of things. And, uh, I think that was great, but I love what you said. She ain't scared of nothing. No, she's not, man.

She's just not. She, uh, everywhere that, that, you know, that we take her, you know, even just to visit friends and she's out playing in the yard, you know, somebody will be like, Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, just, just relax, relax. I guarantee she's fine. And you'll look out and she will have climbed over a six foot tall set. I mean, she, it's when she was two years old, if she could get her fingers over the edge of it, she could get over it. Okay.

That has not changed. And, uh, it's, it's, it's pretty funny, but she, she never gets hurt. It's bizarre. I mean, it's, it's gotta be angels on stun because she, she, or maybe, maybe fear is what gets us hurt a lot of times, you know, uh, who knows, but, uh, it is an amazing thing to live life with her.

She's incredible. Well, what, what does this day mean to you? As you, as you think on this, you've, you've been, uh, you and I actually have been fathers about the same time.

I have a 34 year old as well. And I, I remember when you guys had Matt, it seems like a lifetime ago, back, back in the eighties. And so as you look back of these things in, in your role as father and now grandfather, what are some thoughts that you have about yourself through this? What, what, what's changed with you?

You know, uh, you know, what's changed with you, you know, uh, being a father changes everything. Um, I, I had an amazing dad, um, which, which had the bar so high. Uh, I don't know that I ever got there, you know, that is, it's not a regret.

And I don't know that it would be possible. He was just, you know, you, you were around him enough to know, I think that he was just a very unique guy, but, um, I tried to, my goal was to be half the man. My dad was, and I, and I knew that I would be head and shoulders above most men at that point. But, um, I don't know that I even got halfway. I don't know, but I, I have learned to, uh, to love, you know, you think you, you think you figured out in the sixth grade, you know, when the girl with the pigtails walks in and it's just a lot more than that. It's so much more, you know, it has almost nothing to do with romance. Um, it has everything to do with learning to give and to do it without any expectation of receiving anything in return. And, you know, I think it's just one more of that ever-lengthening list of things, but, you know, the longer I live, the clearer things get, and I'm, I suspect at that moment of death, the clarity is astounding and, uh, you know, you could have just a, it may be the biggest, you know, smack your forehead V8 moment, uh, of your life.

And you might be so lost in the rapture of it that you won't hit yourself in the head. I don't know, but I do know that, I do know that my kids have brought me closer to being the man that I know God put me here to be than anything else. Yeah. When you think about your role now as dad and your father and so forth, your life, your career was propelled to amazing heights with a song father's eyes. And that is, it's kind of been a, um, an overarching part of your life and will always be a part of your life. And, and, and I, I remember hearing you sing that, um, many years ago. Do you ever go back and play it and just sing it yourself?

I'm actually about to record it for the first time. Uh, we, we don't re by the way, Gary and I do not rehearse this, this, this interview. That's just, I mean, I was just thinking about that. I was thinking, wow, that that's wonderful. You know, I do play it, uh, because enough people, you know, expect me to, because it's, you know, it was what it was, but then I always have to explain it, you know, because the, because it was always sung from a female perspective, you know, the opening line, I may not be every mother's dream for her little girl.

People just take that at face value. When I sang it, it was, I may not be the perfect son-in-law. Um, and I, and it was written exactly exactly like that.

Nothing was changed when she, when she, uh, when Amy cut it initially. Um, so I, and I, but I just never did. I never recorded it. There's a few of those songs, uh, that, that I do want to revisit at some point.

Um, but I'm about to start a new project. God has just dropped. Oh man, I cannot wait for you to hear them, but he has dropped. Well, you've heard one of them. I know Gracie's.

Yes. You you've written a song for Gracie. He's dropped some tunes on me that are just really, really, uh, exciting to me. You know, I'm one of those, I'm one of those crazy people that, that absolutely at the core of my being, I know that there is about to be a revival on this planet that nobody has ever seen before. And, and I want to be up to my eyeballs in it and they're going to need some music.

And I've asked God to, to let me participate. And, and he has, I think, rewarded me with, with some songs. And so I'm, um, I'm going to record those and then I'm going to go, I'm going to go back and record, uh, a few songs that I think are generational that, that no one no one that's, uh, you know, under the age of 25 or so has, has heard yet. Uh, I've got a great producer, really, really good guy, very successful, extremely, you know, hip, tragically hip, probably in his mid thirties, I would think at this point. And I, I reached out to him and said, listen, uh, cause we've been talking about doing something together for a few years, actually. And I said, uh, I don't want to be 20. Don't be, don't be deceived here, but I, but I don't want to do it all by ourselves.

Cause it'll sound like I'm 65, which I am. So we're going to, we're going to blend our generation to come up with a new one. Well, I think that's marvelous. Gracie is, she's been recovering from this surgery. She spent a day one day and she, with Alexa and she just played your catalog.

I mean, just going through stuff and Gracie is like, Oh my goodness, these songs just are so rich. And, uh, we look forward to more of them. Well, we're going to talk some more with Gary Chapman in the next segment. Then we got to go to a break. This is Peter Rosenberger.

This is Hope for the Caregiver, hopeforthecaregiver.com. We'll be right back. Just to put it in his hand. There ain't nothing you want to hold on to. He can take care of that for you. Try to understand when you think that there is nothing you can do.

You can put it in his hand. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. That is Gary Chapman with a special guest singing on that with him. Gary, uh, was with, is with us today. Gary, tell me about that song. You know, that song, uh, that's a, uh, that's a real special place there.

Sorry. I got totally lost in listening to that. That's my, my daughter Sarah singing there with me.

She's, she's incredible. Um, that song came, uh, out of me putting my dad to bed one night. Um, you know, he had Parkinson's for the last eight years of his life and then, uh, cancer for the last two, I guess, just to make it interesting.

I don't know. Um, but that cancer attack, the sheathing and the nerves in his legs. So he, he went from driving himself to back and forth to Florida one week and back and forth to Texas the next to coming home and the next day, not being able to walk. Um, he just called me out of the balloon and said, son, can you come downstairs?

His place is in that house we lived in at the time it was directly beneath the master area. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I'll be right down and get down there. So, so what is it? He said, I can't, I can't get up. I can't, I can't move from my waist down.

I got nothing. I'm like, Oh, okay. So life literally changed in a day. Um, knowing him, it had been bothering him and he just didn't say anything, but, but he got to a point of being completely incapacitated. So the first, uh, you know, the first year and a half of my life, I'm sure he, he put me to bed and changed my diaper and I got a chance to return the favor.

And it was, um, I tell people it's the best horrible experience I've had so far. Um, we were always very, very close and, uh, and we just got closer. I was putting him to bed one night and there was, there was a process, right. Yeah.

You know what I'm talking about? There's just, you develop a system. So we're, we're going through the motions of it all. You know, I got to pull this shoulder back over here and, you know, take this pillow and tuck it twin knees this way. And, you know, there's, there's, there's just, it's gotta be right when you can't, you can't move, you definitely want to start the night. Right. You know, so I'm going about the process and the whole time I was doing it, I was just whining about whatever was bugging me that day. Cause let's face it.

That's generally what's most important to us. And I, I, um, I have no idea what it was, have no recollection of what it was specifically that was bothering me, but I was just, just whining. And, uh, it was time to say good night. And I, I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead.

So I love you, pop. And I turned to go out the door and my hand hit the light switch and this voice, you know, Parkinson's had gotten most of it, but just out of the dark, he said something to me that probably said, I don't know how many thousands of times in my life, but it just hit me like a brick. Uh, he said, son, you've just got to put that in God's hand. And I went upstairs and, and wrote that song. Uh, I got almost totally finished with it and I played it for a good buddy of mine, Hall of Famer, uh, Aaron Barker got 12 number one, George Strait songs. That's not even fair, but, uh, yeah, he, he helped me with the second verse and, uh, and it just means a whole lot to me.

That's all means a lot. Um, yeah. And I, that's one of them that, you know, that, that, that spins in my head all the time.

And, you know, now it's almost instinct, uh, for when I get in that spot and I start, you know, uh, focusing too much on whatever it is that's right in front of it, it seems to be immovable. Uh, just it's like, it's like my brain just presses play and that starts playing in my head and I'm like, Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah.

I'll do that. You know, I've known you for a long time and I've listened to you play for a long time, but that song to me, when I hear it, it's, it's almost one of those songs that when I, when you do it, it just feels so effortless. It just flows, it just flows out of you. It's it, there's a, there's just a, you know, best I could describe it as just, uh, sitting in a, in a raft, heading down the river, relaxing, just put it in his hands, just put it in his hands. That is a, that's a great description.

That's a great description. It's, it's one of the most relaxing songs I've ever heard you perform. Just, just, I mean, it's not that you don't have, no, no, you have ballads that are, you have ballads that are, I'm so wrapped in and I'm going to play one of the next day, but I have some that are, I'm so engrossed in it. It's so intense because you, you write from such an intense place a lot of times, and then you have, you know, great rock songs and so forth. But that one is just, it just, I don't know, there's something about that song that is just, I don't know, I don't have, I wish I had better words and I'm a writer, but I wish I had better words to describe that. But it's, it's the, the closest thing I can think of is the Eagles singing Peaceful Easy Feeling, you know, but you know, the same feeling that you get when you hear that and you hear this song, just put it in his hands and it just, it's, it elevates the room to let you just kind of catch your breath a little bit, put it in his hands. It's going to be all right. And then to know that your father was saying that to you from the bed, but he couldn't move and it's dark, son put it in his hands.

And those are incredibly special connections to that. And I, and I, I can tell you that the audience listening today is never going to listen to that song without thinking of that picture of, of, of your father saying, put it in his hands. And, but that's what God has said to us, put it in my hands. I got you, I got you. And this is not something you're unfamiliar with, is it?

No, no, not at all. You know, that, that, that effortlessness that you referenced, you know, when, when, when I am having, at my best moments, when I know that I'm doing what God wants me to do. His, his burden actually is easy. His yoke is easy.

His burden is actually life. It is almost effortless when you're in that spot. And you know, I'm not, I get frustrated that I don't stay there all the time. There's this thing called life really gets in my way from time to time, but I love that feeling. I love it when I'm playing. I love it when I'm singing. I love it when I'm well, I don't dance.

I'm tragically white, but you know, you know what I'm talking about when you just, I also suffer from terminal Caucasianness and it's, people don't want to see me do it. Gracie says that I'm Indiana Peter in the temple of doom. You know, but I, I've watched her in pain and this is what this song makes me think of.

I got it now. This is what, because I've watched her in pain. And when she sings to herself to, to, to kind of transcend the pain, she'll sing tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, but she doesn't sing it. She doesn't, she doesn't sing it kind of, um, like it's been plunked out over the years. She sings it very slow. Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him, you know, and that kind of thing that just settles her soul down. And I think that's what, that's what that song does. And I think we, we've got to have that. I referenced what you said in the last block of we've got to have music that's going to carry us through what we're getting ready to face as a country and as a world and as a, as believers, that if we don't settle ourselves down and, um, I'm reminded of Paul and Silas in prison, you know, and they're singing hymns after being beaten. And, uh, that I don't, I don't know many people that would do that.

Well, I know one, I know one who lives with that. And she, and she sings when she's, when she is just brutalized, I've watched her in the ER and watched her in the, in the ICU and everything do the same thing. But I think that's the model for all of us and, uh, your songs, a lot of your songs for me do that, that, and, and, and they were doing that for her too. And so I don't think I can give you a higher compliment because when you have a woman with what she lives with and she was, like she said, she spent a day listening to your catalog.

Uh, how many people are doing that? You know, just the whole thing. I mean, she's just playing one after another, just, you know, on Alexa and I was just watching the change over her and she was just singing with them. And, and, and that's, that's a tremendous thing that you're offering to people. And the fact that you're going to do another record and you're going to put some more stuff down and then that you, the song that you sent her that you wrote for her.

And I, I, these are, these are wonderful things, Gary, uh, and that you're strengthening a lot of people. Talk a little bit before we go to the break, uh, talk a little bit more about your dad and we'll, and we'll, if we got to stop, we'll, we'll take it into the next segment, but tell me a little bit more about your dad and, and this weekend and as your thoughts are on him and, and, uh, as you've shared this journey with me before share with some folks who may not have heard some of the things that you and your dad experienced. Well, um, as you know, I love a good story and all the good stories are very long. Uh, but I will out truncate as I can.

Um, I think, I think, you know, about the last two weeks of his life is, uh, is. I do. And by the way, we got, we only got about a minute and a half, but then we'll go to the next break and we'll finish it there. But, so yes, set, set up the table of where we are. I'll set it up.

I'll set it up. So we were, uh, we were just sitting, uh, talking one day. He was in, you know, officially, uh, headed out the door. He, uh, you know, he, he refused any kind of, of, uh, medication, despite the fact that they give you access to all the best drugs, unlike his idiot son, he'd never ingested anything that altered his consciousness. And it was just too weird. He couldn't do it.

So I would sit and sing the songs that I learned in his church, you know, 50 years previous. And that helped, that did it for him. So we were sitting there one day and he just left. He absolutely just stopped. And I thought, okay, that's not nearly as dramatic as I thought it was going to be, but I was absolutely convinced that he was, that he was dead.

I couldn't find the pump, but it didn't seem like he was breathing. And, uh, yeah, we'll finish it up after the break. Well, what a cliffhanger.

That's, that's how you do a cliffhanger. This is Peter Rosenberg. This is Hope for the Caregiver. We're talking with Gary Chapman.

We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger.

This is the program for you as a family caregiver, hopeforthecaregiver.com. That is Gary Chapman singing my favorite of all the songs he's done. That's the one. And I remember him singing it for the first time back, way back in South Carolina at the Township Auditorium in Columbia, South Carolina. And he and his guitar up there. And I was, once I heard that song, that was, it was it for me. And I am so grateful that he's on the line with me today. We're talking about Father's Day and his dad and, uh, Gary, I just, before we finished up the story, cause it was, you left us as a great cliffhanger. I can't thank you enough for that song that I love that song. And I play it often, this bumper here on this program. And, um, it is, it is a, it's a wonderful song. So thank you for that. Uh, tell us, tell us where we were with your dad, cause that you did leave us there a little bit.

It ain't a hobby. Um, no, the, uh, the reality of, of his passing was actually starting to settle in on me. You know, we were just sitting there one second and then I was like, dad, what, hey, hey, no response.

He's just like this blank unblinking stare. And I went over and I like smacked him on the face and I was like, Hey, Hey, shaking him, nothing, nothing, zero. And I'm like, okay, well, there you go.

I was about to call my brother, my brother and sister, you know, um, my brother and sister live in, in, in national area, national area. And I was just letting it sink in. I was like, good grief. I just didn't see it. I didn't visualize it happening that quickly that, that almost a non-event. He just stopped. And about, it's probably five minutes.

I don't know. Time's kind of a weird thing in a moment like that, but four or five minutes, I hear this laughing. He, uh, he, he's back. He's laughing. And he has been visiting with his mom and dad.

He's one of six boys and his, uh, three of his brothers had already passed and he had been visiting with his mom and dad and his brothers. And he had a lot to say, a lot to say about heaven. And I was like, okay, okay. So I know it's not drugs.

I know he's completely lucid. There's, I mean, he was, he was as sharp as a tack until he went into a coma, you know, on good Friday, appropriately. It was just, it was just bizarre. So I, you know, I tell my brother and sister what's happened and, you know, they're kind of like, okay.

All right. That happened eight times the last two weeks of his life. And, um, one of the most dramatic of them, my brother, who, you know, is a, is a long, lifetime pilot. That's what he does. He's 35 years with Southwest. He now flies, uh, he runs the aviation department for the Williamson County Sheriff's department. My brother flying around right there, stuck with a nine millimeter in the shoulder holster. And he can land anywhere he wants to.

This is not a good plan, but it's his plan. His nickname is Crash, which does not, you know, generate faith if you're getting in a plane with him. But he, you know, he came up the hard way. He wanted to be a fighter pilot.

He couldn't, his eyes weren't good. So he, you know, he came up the hard way. He crop dusted for six years. And he totaled two planes the last year of his life.

The second one, I've got a picture of it with him standing there with my dad. He wound up 80 feet up in an oak tree hanging upside down from, from the safety harness with, with chemicals and fuel, you know, leaking all over. And he decided that he had a guardian angel. And he named him.

Okay. He didn't tell his wife, he didn't tell me who his closest brothers get. He lives three houses down from me right now while we're talking. But he didn't tell anybody. I was between him and God and his angel.

Well, he was standing there when dad went into I think it was, I think it was his third little heavenly day trip. And it happened, right? He just stopped. And I looked at my brother said, okay, that's it. This is you think you think I'm yanking your chain.

He's doing it right now. That's it. He's like, really? I said, just wait, just wait.

I'm telling you, just wait. And sure enough, I mean, it had every time it was saying he came back, just laughing. And for five minutes, here he comes. And he, he looks over, he sees my brother and he motioned him to come over. Had to kind of lean down to hear his voice. And my brother got down close to me said, I just met Ralph.

He told me you've given him fits your whole life, and you need to slow down a little bit. Okay, my brother just buckled because he knew that nobody breathing on this planet knew the name of his angel, except him. And it was just, we had so many moments like that. It was just such an amazing process. God just gave us an amazing gift is as well as he lived. He died better. He just, he went out like a champ. He went into a coma.

I guess he went to sleep and did not wake up on Good Friday. My sister is a nurse was made a pallet next to his bed. She's not leaving. And Easter, Sunday morning, 2009, right at sunrise, she heard his breathing change. And she crawled up in bed with him. And when that happened, she heard voices in the room above her, the master bedroom directly above. And she she thought, okay, at least Gary and Cassie are awake.

If this is it, I won't have to wake him up. Only we were not. I was in the middle of the best dream I've ever had, by far. And in my dream, which played out almost to a T hour and a half, two hours later, my brother and sister and I are standing outside of his living area, and the lower level of the house. And we're watching, we're watching the guys from Harper Tills Memorial Gardens wheel his body out. Weren't saying a word, we're just standing there.

And I mean, like, in an instant. He was standing there with us. Only he made me look like I just died of cancer. He was so beautiful. I cannot describe it.

I've tried. Every time I tell this story, it's exactly the same. I can't tell you what he looked like.

It was just so overwhelmingly beautiful. He was, he lived to be 35 ish. Just talking 90 miles an hour. And I'm thinking, okay, I really should pay attention to what he's saying.

Because I I'll bet this is important information. And I couldn't do it. I could not do it. He was, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I had never seen anything so beautiful.

Nothing. He was just ripped and perfect. And I can't, again, I can't describe it. And I did not get one word that he said, except the last thing. I heard, I heard him say, kids, as much as I did my best to teach you about him, I was right. But I was wrong.

Because there's just so much more. And when that, my phone rang in this world. And it was my sister telling me that that moment he had been in my life, it was my sister telling me that that moment he had just taken his last breath. Without question, God let him drop by my dream to give me that gift. And the gift for me, after walking out in his church when I was six years old, I had not robbed a bank.

I'm not sure what made me feel guilty. I remember the sermon. There were some, there were some virgins that had some oil and some that didn't have some, and the ones without it were not in good shape when the door closed. And I knew I needed more oil. So I walked the aisle and gave my life to Jesus. And I have walked that path with varying degrees of well publicized success and failure. Since then, I have believed my whole life. That morning, that moment, I stopped believing. And I started knowing. And it is dramatically different.

It's very, very different. That my father's death has become the fulcrum point of my life. And I'm so grateful. I live in that place of gratefulness. I don't know, I don't know how he could have given me any, both my Heavenly Father and my earthly father, at the same time, gave that to me. And I'll always be grateful.

I can't wait to see it. Well, this is why I had you on. Because that's, that's, it's an extraordinary story, Gary. And it's a life changing one, not just for you, but for now everyone who hears it. And I felt like for Father's Day, this would be the conversation that needed to happen. And I am most grateful. I'm most grateful for your friendship and for your encouragement to me personally, and for sharing your heart with us.

And not just your music, but your heart. Well, I don't, those things are too, they're synonymous, aren't they? I hope so. They are.

They are. And we are grateful. This is Gary Chapman. And please, please know, Gary, that we're very grateful. This is Hope for the Caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. You too, buddy. We'll see you next time. Hopeforthecaregiver.com. We'll have this out on the podcast as well. Please share it with others. We'll see you next time.