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Caregiving Husband Angry At Wife Who Smoked For Years

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
December 7, 2020 4:00 am

Caregiving Husband Angry At Wife Who Smoked For Years

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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December 7, 2020 4:00 am

When we started HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER many years ago, we wanted to provide a place where caregivers felt they could share painful things in a safe place and receive clear and helpful feedback. This caller admitted something during the call that he hadn't admitted before:  He's angry with his wife for her years of smoking that have now robbed them both of a better quality of life. 

I value the trust caregivers place in me and the confidence they feel to share their hearts on the show. 

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marriage relationships smoking caregiving copd
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Why not want chicken maybe it's not the get for your family but it is the perfect gift for poor family ninja chicken can break the cycle of poverty for poor family yes chicken chickens and provide nourishment for family and they can sell those exit the market for income when you donate a chicken or any other gospel for Asia one her percent of what you give goes to the field and get the ball went gospel fundraiser to support family. Jesus family this Christmas, give them a six explanation or see chickens and camping Bob in Oklahoma. Bob Highfield while I'm sorry to dig out my pocket with. That's the first time ever that, but that's all right how you feel about the writer arrived.

A grocery run to walk ahead so phone in my pocket so I could start her instructor and I did not get the initial court will better learn will you say that the Dave Ramsey show I was your caregiver to your wife. Was going on with all she has COPD and I want to shout out. There was smoke when you stop right now. You don't know how bad your new so she smoke room for many many many many years and she's reaping the cortical benefits of an a prescriber for a while they put her on the steroids and apparently it caused her cortisol output to stop or slow down drastically and now she has problems with recorders all just been a snowball in this just got worse and worse.

Now what's the average day with you like this is your caregiver well. I get up to my work at home but anyway I try to get her stuff. The triangular innovation age. I spends a good portion of the time in bed because you just don't have any energy.

She discover Canada get up and move. Try to do so you do it on the house without being in the laundry and everything else.

Well I I will give her credit, Deming, when she feels good to get them to do something sooner damaging. She doesn't want she doesn't want me to do everything like that and and I certainly don't think she does quite a bit concerning considering her for help and how she feels it is calling on the envelope with his covert junk go visit your dad just break my this is hoping to get this dealing with the topic today is to seasons don't make it worse than counsel as I 88858 980-888-8589. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger, 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became it. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs.

All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with to learn more and participate in lifting I'm Gracie. I am staining with help from American family radio this. This is based as a family.

Pray for you, 85, 888 40 888-589-8840 were talking with Bob in Oklahoma State gives washes you smoked and has limited abilities stresses the best kid with what she has probably asked you this.

If there's one issue that kind of magic your heart. What would be. I guess well I guess I am. I guess angry with her because because she would not would not quit smoking and I used to smoke myself many years ago I quit I been smoking Josh 20 years or more. But anyway, I tried to encourage early smoke not spoken and trying to do everything I could never would quit. I'm angry with her because she's Jesus treated herself and seven and her family out of a lot of good times out of a big portion of life and I will answer here.

This is how you feel. This is how you feel it's it's however ugly it may look or or whatever and it is though it is what it is so we do that anger. Bob, I probably more than anything, just stop it and go on their working 40 hours, sometimes good, sometimes bad, never talk to somebody about it. Probably not not to this extent well and sometimes it just takes you know takes one caregiver to another. Just ask your baby the question whether this could make sense to you speak fluent caregiver so I get it. Anger is is part of what we live with it and it stems from a lot of hurt. It stems from the law would win would've wound is angry its readiness and flame, but at the core of it is still alone it's it's something that hurts this hurt she and because you heard during when you get fearful we get angry. This is one of our our go to defense mechanisms.

We get angry because it makes us feel of the more powerful and feels feel pretty powerless when you're dealing situation critically when someone did something self-inflicted and I found that most of our challenges we live with our self-inflicted on some level are sinners self-inflicted and so it is but it's something that needs to be addressed honestly with with maybe a trained professional. Bob, have you considered baby to sit down with somebody who's got some good since about a been around the block a bit. Bits of a professional counselor. Maybe some wise pastor somebody that you can trust to go in and just don't cut up, let them hold you here what you puke a bit. I know this is graphic, but that would have to happen, but here you have to hold it, but you got, you know some somebody they can look at look at it splattered all over the table and not be freaked out about and give you some insights. You obviously have some understanding of Scripture, but sometimes it takes somebody to walk through to could see it from a little different viewpoint and that might be good Christmas present a gift to yourself and your wife is for you to go to someone else. A trained professional of some kind and maybe sit down and have a conversation about your anger and how you can better process that out and work that through particularly the in the context of Scripture and in the grace of Christ that that valuable now drive I will I will think about that.

I will consider consider that I want to thank you. I never heard your programs first time that I keyed in on the caregiver part of this is interesting. I listen to AFR all the time that I had never heard your program and I guess God put me here and turn the radio on this morning and I appreciate it will very grateful that you did. And this is what we do the show because you never know who's listening. You never know who's out there caregivers by just as as a rule, are usually often overlooked and we if if you were the first person if you were the first caregiver this ever stuffed your anger. I would be concerned. Bob but you're not. You're not the first person is done this you not the first caregiver the status you not the first caregiving husband. I am the crash test dummy of caregivers. Bob if you could fail at it. I failed it okay and you know, but it's not healthy for you to do this. Healthy caregivers like better caregiver support of being healthy is listless deal with this.

Okay so start with your pastor baby can recommend somebody that you can talk to that would be of person noticeably right out of school will be somebody's been around the block.

Okay and and sit down with that.

Maybe there's a support group that you can go and just listen how other people do there a lot of twelve-step groups out there for people who live with people with afflictions, and you can learn what you can and cannot control your wife made her own grown woman decisions that you can be better at her mad at her, or you can learn to make peace with the fact that this is hurts decision and you're going to do the best you can to to live a life of healthiness in the midst of it and reflect the grace of Christ that is extended to you as you make your own self-inflicted decisions right and that's that's come the way we have to look at it.

I think for us to be able to navigate this little bit more peacefully be given a shot and might be a great Christmas present to give to yourself.

I got try to sit through a lot of the phones as best as I can and the Bob I thank you for listen hope you keep listen very much, Margaret. All right But the phone back in your pocket loses a gay all right but he also your lady

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