Resentment and Rest: The Caregiver’s Greatest Battle

Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. This is Peter Rosenberger and this is the program for you as a family caregiver and I am bringing you four decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not.

Healthy caregivers make better caregivers. What does that look like? How does that play out? That's what we're going to delve into, you and me together. Things I've learned the hard way, you know, I've never learned anything the easy way, but I have learned a few things in my four decades of this and particularly in the last four months of being in the hospital with Gracie through now her 98th operation that she just had. 98, that's a lot of surgery over a lifetime.

She's had 11 since January and it's been a bit of a grind, I will not kid you, but here we are. I keep going back to the words that a pastor friend of mine gave me many years ago, he listens to this program, and he looked at me once and said, you need a Sabbath rest. I just stared at him. I said, rest? What does that even look like for somebody like me? What does that look like?

I ask you, I mean, what do you think? What does rest look like for somebody like me? I am the full-time wage earner for my family, for my wife and me. Her boys are grown. I am her full-time caregiver. What does that look like? What does rest look like for somebody like me?

I don't get weekends, holidays, or sick days off. It feels, rest feels like a concept from someone else's life. But I have learned something about this. Okay. Would you like for me to share this? All right, here you go.

Ready? Sit down. Get your pencil and paper out now. I'm just kidding. We can fall asleep. Sleep creeps up on us, but resting is a decision. That's a quote from my new book.

It's coming out in August. It's called A Caregiver's Companion. And I'm very excited about this. These are quotes that I have just come up with over the years of things that I say to myself. And I put them down in a book and they're going to be, and they're, each one is married with a scripture or hymn stands. Y'all know I love the hymns. And it's something that I've, I understand caregivers. I understand the stress that we're under and we don't have time for a lot of the hallmark-esque blathering that people often offer.

And they want to drone on about this and that, whatever, and just get right to it. And I talked about this last week on the program when I mentioned this particular hymn, Jesus I am Resting, Resting, that I put with this quote. And this is out there at my new caregiver vault that I put on my Substack page.

You can go to my website, PeterRosenberger.com, click on Peter's Substack and you can get to it. And it's all out there. And I put video updates of what's going on with me and Gracie and everything else. And, but this book is coming out and it's called A Caregiver's Companion and it scriptures hymns and 40 years of insight for life's toughest role. Would you agree that being a caregiver is life's toughest role?

It has been for me. I'm four decades into this. In fact, just as a point of interest, 39 years ago this week, I went through my first surgery with Gracie and here she's now had her 98th that I can count. She's had 21 when I first married her. So I've been through 77 surgeries with my wife that I can count.

That's a lot of surgery. That's a lot of time. That's a lot of time in the trenches of being a caregiver.

So what does rest look like? And I go back to what we talked about last week and I'm going to drill this home one more time because it's Memorial Day weekend and everybody's wanting to take a weekend off and rest and relax. I can remember a lot of holiday weekends over the years and we have spent every major holiday at some point in the hospital.

This year we spent quite a few of them. And I get hours off, but I don't get time off the way other people do. And I'm pretty sure that if you're a casual, even a casual listener to this program, you probably don't get that kind of time off either. This audience is filled with people who are pushed to the max and yet resting is something that is so important to us.

How do we rest? And I still go back to, if you don't mind me just continuing the conversation from last week, I go back to this concept of striving. How many of you all feel like you're striving?

I've got to, I have to, I need to, I'm supposed to, I must, I should be. How many of you feel this way every single day? This is Memorial Day weekend. You know, we're supposed to take a little time off, right?

What does that look like to you and me? And how many of you feel like that you just want to get through it? In fact, sometimes a holiday, if I may be so bold to say this, a holiday interrupts my schedule because I get onto a kind of a routine and I want to get things done and it interrupts my schedule.

Do you ever feel that way? I mean, I do. In fact, I've once said this to somebody, I said, why is everybody taking a day off? I'm working, you know, come on people, let's go.

I want to be productive and I want to get things done. And like I said, I'll take hours off when we eventually get back to Montana. I will get out of the horse and go for a ride and I will get out on the four-wheeler and, you know, just get out and get away, maybe even go throw a line in the water and fish. I may not catch anything, probably just sit there and fall asleep. But I remember the first time I went hunting with my brother-in-law and my father-in-law and I didn't have a license, but they asked me to come along and I just, for the experience, and I went out early in the morning, they were all out there getting settled and we find them, you know, track down whatever they're going to track down.

I'm not much of a hunter. And I sat beside a tree and fell asleep in the snow. I was so tired. And I posit to you this, one of the reasons I was so tired and I have struggled with fatigue over the years, even when I was younger, is that I was striving.

How many of you all will admit that striving is exhausting? Resentment is exhausting. I was watching a video earlier this week on the news of Hillary Clinton.

Hold on. One of the things that I was struck by watching her, just turn the sound off and just watch her. Do you get the sense that this is a woman who is filled with resentment? That there's bitterness there? Does she appear joyful, at peace with herself, with God, and with others? That doesn't appear to me that way. She may be. I don't know. She's not. I don't know her heart.

And I can only go by just casual observance of what I'm seeing through media and everything else. But it doesn't appear that this is a woman who is at peace with herself, with God, and with others. And I'm looking at these people getting thrown out of hearings. I saw that the other day. There was one guy that was at the Rubio hearing. My sister-in-law was actually there because she works for the Department of State. I texted back to my brother and I said, you know, there's a pretty spicy hearing today. There's one guy that had a collar on.

He's either Catholic or Anglican, I'm not quite sure. But the cops were physically picking him up and hauling him out of there. They were screeching and hollering everything else. Do you see how exhausting it must be to be bitter? That's no way to live. Go back to what that pastor told me. Peter, you need a Sabbath rest. A Sabbath rest, I'm learning, is to be at peace, to be settled, no matter what's going on around us. And scripture says we can have this. What do you think about that? Scripture says we can have this. My peace I leave with you, not as the world gives. How about that?

Let's talk about that a little bit more. This is Hope for the Caregiver. I'm Peter Rosenberger.

We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. That is Rob Galbraith in The Not Ready for First Service Players. And I am glad to be with you, PeterRosenberger.com.

PeterRosenberger.com. We're talking about rest. And we started this conversation last week. I am convinced this is the crux of the caregiver dilemma. You say, Peter, why would you say such a thing? And I say, well, because I'm convinced of it, number one. Number two, because I've lived it. And I've lived it for longer than most people have.

Four decades is nothing to take lightly. My experience trumps others' opinions. You know the old adage, a man with experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument. I'm not here to debate this. I've lived it. Okay?

I still live it. I am right in the thick of it. And if anybody wants to disagree with me, that's fine. Go ahead.

You're not required to believe what I believe. Do what I've done, though, for as long as I've done it, and then write a book about it, and I'll read your book. You get your show for caregivers, and I'll listen to your show.

So until that happens, I'm the guy. And these are things that I've learned, and I've learned that rest is the critical issue for us as caregivers, and it is always a decision. That's the quote that I have in my caregiver vault that I have on my Substack page. I also have one, another one this week that came out right after that, and you'll like that one too.

It's kind of funny, but I'll let you go see it. But I want to go back to this thing about rest, and what is driving that unrest, that ill at ease. And I remain convinced that there is one topic that does this, one issue. And I referenced this in the last block with Hillary Clinton.

I don't mean to use her necessarily as an example, but she kind of makes it easy. But I can look around and see this permeating everywhere. You know why I can see it? There's an old saying, if you spot it, you got it, because I've wrestled with this. And that issue, the thing that corrodes the heart, the heart that keeps us striving is resentment.

I believe it tops the list. When we don't get what we want, when we want it, we often lash out at others, at ourselves, and at God. Think about the Garden of Eden. They had it perfect. It was perfect, and it wasn't enough. And there was that resentment, oh, I'm entitled to something more.

I want more. For in Adam all sin, we were there. That is us. And we lash out. You've seen it, I've seen it.

If we're going to be honest with each other, we've done it. And the lashing out can come in many different forms. You know, you go back to the Garden. Adam, when he was caught in his sin, blamed it on the woman. He lashed out on her. He threw her under the bus. Go back and look at Genesis 3.6. So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

She saw that it was a delight to the eyes. You never break just one commandment. You always break two. Covety. You want it, you want it, and you want it now. We're all verruca salt from Willy Wonka.

I want it now. That's us. And anybody that tells you differently will lie about other things too, because that's who we are. It is baked into our DNA since the fall. We cannot not sin.

Let me say that again, because it's a double negative, but I want to make sure I say that clearly. It comes from non passe non peccare, which is Augustine's theological framework. We're not able not to sin. We're unable to avoid sinning. We cannot stop sinning.

Non passe non peccare. And that's an old theological term, but it basically means we are bad at the bone, and it's not going to change without the redemptive work of Christ. It's not going to happen. Our heart of stone has to be made into a heart of flesh, and we covet, and we want, and I want it now. And in the caregiving world, how that translates is that we are under duress, and we don't want to be under duress. We want relief, and we want it now. We want God to get us out of this thing. Have you ever noticed that nobody's ever prayed, hey God, would you slow it down?

You're answering this prayer too quickly. We don't pray that, do we? We're like, God, get me out of this now. We want relief from the emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual toll of this thing. We want relief from caring for somebody who may have hurt us. We want to be rescued and to be rescued from relief from watching our life shrink away while others, families, friends, even the church, they don't show up the way they could or bluntly sometimes the way they should. And we want relief, and sometimes we even resent ourselves because we got ourselves into this mess, or sometimes we resent God.

And ultimately, if we had to be honest, that's when we get to the bottom rung of what's really going on with us. We resent God. We say to Him, the oldest sin there is, I will ascend to the most high.

I need to be there. I, I, I, this is the nature of sin, to resent God. And we're saying that God has made a mistake. We may not say it out loud. We may dress it up, but that's what's really down there. If you want to be honest about it.

And some of you may disagree with me. Some of you say, no, no, Peter, that's not down there. Do this long enough. You'll find out what's down there, because that is the nature of being a caregiver is it squeezes all the gunk up to the surface.

There is nothing like caring for somebody with a disability for several decades to expose what is in your soul. How do I know this? Oh, how do I know this? And I'm just telling you it's there.

That's the bad news, but here's the good news. God's dealing with it. And He loves us enough to get this stuff out of us and to deal with this. It's called, the process is called sanctification.

That's a nice term. You know, in reality, it's crucifixion. This is why Paul said it. I have been crucified with Christ. I no longer live. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God.

The life I live as a caregiver, I live by faith in the Son of God. We're called to crucify ourselves. Take up your cross and follow me. Crucify the flesh.

We hear this, but do we understand it? If it was up to us, we'd crucify ourselves with wet macaroni noodles. We don't want to do that. We want it now.

I want it now. We want relief. Come on, Lord, take this away from me so I can get on with the life that I wish to have. Lord, I could serve you better if I wasn't doing this.

Lord, I could do so much more. No, no, no. That's not what we want. We just want what we want.

No, no, no. That's not what we want. We just want what we want.

Do we want what He wants? And I go back to what Gracie said to that doctor. When he came in and he says, people look for meaning in their suffering, Gracie, and a woman who's in labor and she's going to have birth and she knows the baby is coming and that's why she endures the pain.

But when there's no birth and you're just going through pain after pain after pain for decades, what do you search for meaning in this? And she said, no, he has meaning in this. I don't have to worry about that. Contrast that.

I'm sorry, if you get mad at me, just turn off the radio. But contrast that with Hillary Clinton. I'm looking at a woman every day who has suffered since the Reagan administration. And then I see this woman on television and she's just bitter and Gracie's not. What's the difference? Gracie has more agony in her body than you and I can possibly imagine. And I see it every day.

What's the difference? Do you ever see any video of Hillary being joyful? Of being at peace with this?

I mean, forget her, okay? Just go through the list of the people that we see on the news every day who is just railing about something. When's the last time you saw somebody come on the news who had gone through whatever and they're just saying, you know, I'm good. I'm at peace with this. I watched a woman who has struggled for everything.

Laughing, singing, and telling a psychiatrist and his assistant, no, I'm not, I don't have to worry about this. God, God knows why this is happening and I trust him. That's a level of peace that is really hard to wrap your mind around.

And I believe in my gut, I'm just absolutely convinced about this, that this is the battle for us as caregivers. Can we be at that kind of peace and more? Can we get to the point where Job says, though he slay me, I will praise him. Can we get to the point where Abraham says, when he's negotiating for Sodom and Gomorrah, will not the judge of the whole earth do what is right? Can we get to the point where Stephen is being stoned and he's praying for the people stoning him? Can we do this?

And the answer is yes. Scripture tells us that we can. My peace I leave with you, that we do not have to be consumed by resentment. Most caregivers I know, including myself, we have a goal. It's an unspoken goal, but it is our goal. That one day we're going to stand at a grave of the person we're caring for. This is our goal.

I can't guarantee that that will happen, but my hope is that I will be able to see that that will happen. But my hope is that I'm the one standing at Gracie's grave one day. Not out of cruelty, but out of mercy. We want to outlive the ones that we care for, because the alternative for them is unthinkable.

They live on impaired but alone. I don't want that for her. And so I want to live my life in a way that gives me the optimal chance that I will stay healthy all the way to the cemetery. But when that day comes, do I want to stand there with clenched fists? What about the road to get there? Do I want to travel that road with clenched fists? Do I want to push her wheelchair with clenched fists?

Or do I want to be at peace with God, myself, and others? Resentment has to go. It has to go. But where do we start? What does it look like? Go back to what I said in the first block. What does rest look like?

What does this look like? And I'm going to talk about that some more when we come back. This is Peter Rosenberg, and this is Hope for the Caregiver.

We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberg, and this is the program for the family caregiver.

So glad that you're with us today here on American Family Radio. Peter Rosenberg.com. Why don't you go out and take a look at the website, see what I have for you out there.

Lots and lots of stuff. My Substack page, the blog, there's music, there's video, and there's just so much. And also, join our mailing list because I'm sending out stuff once or twice a month.

And I've been doing a little bit more now with a video blog on what's going on with Gracie, and it's just easier to give an update that way. But you can join that mailing list. And if you want to be a part of what we're doing, it's 2025.

We're looking at 25 for 25, people that want to do 25 a month for the year 2025. And we'd be very grateful to have the help. Look, I don't mind asking for help. I'm tired. And we're just a mom and pop, and mostly pop right now.

And pop's tired. So I could use a little help with it. And if you want to, because I've had to farm out some things. I just can't do what I used to do anymore by myself, as I've been dealing with this massive medical journey of Gracie's here, particularly this year. And I'm having to farm out some things through our ministry at Standing With Hope.

It's the ministry we started decades ago. In fact, Gracie had the vision for this 30 years ago in June, this June, 30 years ago, when she became a double amputee. She's been a double amputee this year for 30 years. And she had this vision of putting prosthetic limbs on her fellow amputees. It took her 10 years to convince me. And we went on our first trip in 2005, where we started putting legs on her fellow amputees. And we've been doing this ever since.

And hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people have been able to walk because Gracie trusted God while laying on a hospital bed with both of her legs amputated and seeing that he had purpose in this. If you want to be a part of that, we'd welcome your help. And then we launched the caregiver outreach almost 15 years ago, when one of our board members looked at me and said, Pedro, he always called me Pedro. He said, Pedro, you know things that family caregivers need to know.

And you need to do a show and you need to write a book. His name is Sam. And I said, Sure, Sam, I got nothing else to do. And he said, No, I'm serious. And he was. And you know what, he was right. And his wife was going through some things with her mother at the time.

And I think this was heavy on his mind. And he said, you you can draw on a wealth of experience that few people have. And that's what we've done. If you want to be a part of that, you can go out to my website, Peter rosenberger.com. Just click on standing with hope, you'll see it there. Just click on it and say, you know what, I'm going to get involved with this. I like this show that I hear on American Family Radio each week. I like the podcast. I find value in what Peter is saying, and I want to help do it.

I would welcome the help. So thank you for that. We're talking about peace.

We're talking about learning to see striving, to learn to be at peace with ourselves, with others, with God. What does it look like? You'll hear me ask that question a lot, because people have told me things over the years.

Oh, just trust God. Well, what does that look like? Make draw me a picture of this. I mean, I would love to tell you that I'm wise and sagacious and all kinds of things that I could figure these things out. But I can't. I need somebody to draw me a picture, preferably with crayons. Okay. Don't don't give me Christian ease. Don't give me God talk.

Tell me what this looks like. And I have found that that Veruca salt dysfunction that we all have, I want it now. I have found that the antidote to that is gratitude. And it's very hard to be miserable when you're grateful. It's very difficult to be resentful when you're grateful. Ultimately, our gratitude lies at the cross. I still maintain and I will maintain to the day I die that sin is a bigger problem than we think it is.

And the cross is far greater than we can ever imagine. And when I look back over my life and see the perpetual state of striving and resentment and frustration and all those things that I was not resting as my pastor said, you need to rest. I wasn't resting because I was so filled with resentment because I was so filled with ungratefulness.

Not just saying thank you when somebody brings me something. I'm talking about understanding better what really happened at the cross. And I think if you show me somebody who is miserable and you show me somebody who is just filled with resentment and striving, I will show you somebody who needs a greater awareness of the redemptive work of God through Christ on the cross.

Because that is the antidote to all of this. One of my favorite hymns is Beneath the Cross of Jesus written by Elizabeth Clefane. And there's a line in there, a stanza that says, upon that cross of Jesus, mine eyes at times can see the very dying form of one who suffered there for me. And from my stricken heart with tears to wonders, I confess the wonders of redeeming love and my unworthiness. Do you see what that does to our spirit to hear that? It immediately redirects our eyes off of what we're striving with, what we want. I want it now.

I want it now. No, no, no, no, no. It takes our eyes to see, look what he has done. And give him the glory, great things he has done, Fanny Crosby wrote. When we are focused on that, there is no place for bitterness or resentment in our lives. And the striving ceases because we are focused on Christ. With our eyes firmly fixed, as the writer of Hebrews says in Hebrews 12 to fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. But how can I justify being resentful and striving knowing that scripture? How?

How does that compute? What kind of math is involved in explaining to God, I had a right to be resentful because I was denied something that I wanted, something that I was coveting, even if it was relief from caregiving. How do I have that argument in front of the almighty who spared nothing for my benefit and from my stricken heart with tears to wonders I confess the wonders of redeeming love and my love and my unworthiness.

When we have that conversation with ourselves, the resentment has no place and we're willing to trust him with the unimaginable because he has done the unfathomable. This is a portion I have learned in my four decades as a caregiver and you know where I learned that? This may embarrass Gracie and I'm sorry I don't mean to and she'll fuss at me if it does and that's okay she's fussed at me before but when you use a bedside commode in the hospital because she can't she's got wires and everything else so it's very difficult. I mean look this is a show for caregivers if you've got a problem with this just turn it off right now okay it's just the reality of life but if you're a caregiver you understand this and when the CNA's and the nurses help her I usually don't okay because that's how you keep a marriage for 40 years and I but they're not as fastidious as cleaning that as I would like them to be so that every time she uses it it is pristine. I clean it. I clean it and scrub it and clean it till it's gleaming and I was sitting there doing that in the bathroom there at the hospital room and it embarrasses Gracie she hates it she hates that I do that and I looked at her and I said do you understand how much more he did for me than this?

That's what I learned in the bathroom at the hospital. How do you be resentful about cleaning up a commode when you ponder the enormity of what he cleaned up for us what it cost him to do for us? It is impossible I tell you to be resentful when your eyes are fixed on Christ.

It is impossible I tell you to strive when your eyes are fixed on Christ. I know that there are people in this audience who right now are struggling mightily where you are. You would not be listening to my program if you weren't. I know this. I understand it. I understand it.

I really do. If you do not have the courage to believe what I'm telling you if you do not have the courage to act on this right now borrow some of mine. I am convinced of it. This is the only way I have endured. There is no other path. And I'm asking you for just a tiny bit of trust to know that I have failed enough that I can say that with confidence that there is no other path. You don't have to go down every road that I did.

You don't have to fail as much as I have. And I'm asking you just a tiny bit of faith to say maybe what Peter is saying has value and merit and can apply to my life as a caregiver. Resentment corrodes us. It destroys us. It costs us paradise. That is the core of that entitlement. I am entitled to something more. God is withholding this from me.

God's doing this to me. Sin is a bigger problem than you think it is. And the cross is a bigger deal than we can ever ever ever imagine. We can be at peace. We truly can.

It came at a great cost and He offers it freely. Today is a great day to start with that. It's a holiday weekend. How about starting to rest today? Not resting in your efforts.

Resting on His efforts. Savilla Martin wrote in his eyes on the sparrow and resting on His goodness I lose my doubts and fears. That's a good line isn't it? That's a very good line and that is hope for this caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. We'll be right back. So so Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Memorial Day weekend. I love that arrangement of the Marine Hymn and I wanted to end the program today.

We're talking about resentment, gratitude, rest, striving, all the things that keep us churned up. But I wanted to end on something that has been with me for some years when it comes to Memorial Day. I want to talk about God's Memorial Day message that long before Memorial Day was even established the reason why so much of the things in our country are is because they're rooted in the principles in scripture. Memorial Day is not a new idea to to America.

We made it into a national holiday where people get out on the lake and have picnics. But it's a very somber day to think about things and more importantly I wanted to take us even deeper to this. What does God think about it? It's one thing for you and I to think about things but what does God think about it? And I go no further than the book of Matthew chapter 1 verse 6. Now do you know what's chapter 1 is all about in Matthew? It's the genealogy of Jesus. The genealogy of Jesus is in Matthew 1. Most people don't read that. This guy begat this guy, this guy had this guy, this guy had this guy, yada yada yada. It just goes on and on and we just kind of gloss over.

Okay let me get to the other stuff. No, no, let's spend some time in Matthew chapter 1 verse 6. And it says that David, King David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah.

That verse is so loaded with the character of God. Uriah was killed in battle. Uriah was murdered because David got his wife pregnant when David should have been out in battle. It said in the spring when the kings went out to war David stayed home. He should have been out in battle doing what he was called to do as king and he didn't go for whatever reason.

Bored, tired, lazy, indulgent, who knows. But that's when he saw Uriah's wife Bathsheba and instead of mentioning her name in the genealogy God mentioned Uriah's name because David got her pregnant and then David had Uriah murdered in the heat of battle. It made it look like he was killed in battle but David had him murdered. It was a wicked thing. And David thought he got away with it.

And about a year later the baby was born. And here comes Nathan the prophet. God didn't forget. God didn't forget. Vengeance is his, saith the Lord.

Remember Abraham saying to God shall not the judge of the whole earth do what is right. Do we believe that? That all the injustices that we see God doesn't forget. It may take a while but we never get to say what difference does it matter now is if you don't mind me going one more time to that well as Hillary Clinton said about the what happened at Benghazi. Well what difference does it make now? Well what difference does it make now that Joe Biden has cancer and we don't need to talk about this and what happened at the Afghanistan pull out when these 13 marines were killed and others horribly wounded. What difference does it matter now? I'll tell you what it makes a lot of difference and I'll prove it by Matthew 1 6 because God established the name of Uriah in the most important genealogy ever written. That of Christ and it matters and he doesn't forget.

I don't know how he corrects these things. I don't know what that looks like but I know he doesn't forget and he sees these things and we have a responsibility as well to deal with it because it does matter. We don't prosecute people in this country for future crimes we prosecute for what they have done and the statute of limitations with God he doesn't have any and right there by what David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah that it is extraordinary that God put that in there under the superintendent of the Holy Spirit. Matthew wrote those words and it is extraordinary of what it means about God's remembering. Here on Memorial Day there are families all across this country this is a holiday we we have to honor those who never took the uniform off died in battle. Veterans Day are for those who took the uniform off and hung it up in the closet but Memorial Day is for those who never took it off. God sees Memorial Day far deeper than we ever could far deeper than what we can understand.

He recognized that Uriah never took the uniform off. He died in battle murdered by the very king he was supporting. Cheated out of a wife and a life because of a wicked act that David did. It's unfathomable until we consider the nature of our own sin and what an offense it is towards God. Once we start down that path of that conversation internally recognizing that the wickedness that David did our wickedness is just the same. It's all an offense towards God. Every bit of it. That resentment that we're holding on to that demandingness that we're holding on to the fruit of it David showed you what that harvest would look like of that fruit. It looks like committing adultery and murdering a man. That's the fruit of what I want it now looks like and every one of us that's the fruit of what I want it now looks like and every one of us are guilty of this.

If you're guilty of one part of the law you're guilty of all of it. Every one of us but God. Maybe the two most beautiful words in the entire Bible but God made a way and he does not forget these things. The only thing he forgets are our sins when they're covered in the blood of Christ. But what happened to Uriah centuries earlier God said we're putting it right here front and center to let the world know for all eternity I remembered this man and you know what that does for me? That gives me great hope that he remembers us in our affliction. He remembers things that are done. Some of you are caregiving right now and doing it unjustly.

It's not fair. God remembers these things may not act on it in your time frame and in the way you'd like him to. I know he certainly has done it on mine but I am strengthened. I am bolstered and I am comforted knowing that he remembers. Go through scripture after scripture and God remembered his people in their affliction. He remembered so and so. He remembered so and so. He does this. This is who he is and we can count on that.

We can rest in that. His eye is not blind that he cannot see. His arm is not short that he cannot save.

His ear is not deaf that he cannot hear. We keep our eyes focused on Christ and as we pause this weekend to remember great individuals in our country's history who died in uniform. May we model that courage shown by so many in the kingdom of God where we never take off the uniform of Christ. Romans 13 14 but put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to gratify its desires including resentment.

No provision. Put on Christ. Put on the uniform. He remembers all those who wear his uniform and his uniform is Christ. That is hope for this caregiver. I end on this particular Memorial Day with my father's favorite hymn, the Navy hymn, Eternal Father Strong to Save. Amen.