25 years on the PGA Tour and a lifetime member of the PGA Tour and PGA of America, Jay Delsing brings you his perspective on one of the world's greatest games as a professional golfer and network broadcaster. It's the game that connects the pros and the average Joes. Brought to you by Whitmore Country Club. Golf with Jay Delsing is now on 101 ESPN. Good morning, St.
Louis. This is Golf with Jay Delsing. I am your host, Jay Delsing. I got my longtime friend and caddy, Pearlie, John Perlis, with me. Good morning, Pearl.
Good morning, Jay. Glad to be here. Ready to roll. Meet, thanks so much for. Getting this going this morning.
We formatted a show just like Around the Golf. The first segment is called the On the Range segment, and it is brought to you by Golf Discount. Golf Discount is where St. Louis shops for all of its golf needs. Reach out to us on our social media.
Twitter is at Jay Delsing. Facebook is Golf with J Delsing and Jay Delsing Golf. And LinkedIn is Jay Delsing. And Instagram is What? Yeah.
Exactly. All right, here's what we got today. We've got this interview. We talked about this last week. We did a radio.
Ts For Jennifer Monroe.
So, we got this interview today with Jennifer. I think it's really going to be cool. I think people are really going to. Uh Plug into what she's saying, not only in golf, Pearl. But it's just you've you've we all have to interact with with someone, and you sometimes you just have this almost magical connection where you feel like you can hang out and talk to this.
This person, and other times it's like Yeah. You know, just nothing flows, no feedback where you guys just don't kind of relate. Yeah, her information is incredibly helpful for self-awareness. And understanding other people. And a lot of People would term that as wisdom.
So it's just a lot. It's one of those things that, man, do I wish that they would teach this in school, junior high, and high school for kids to have better awareness. I wish they would teach it in college. We run into it normally. We're not just teaching it.
Yeah. Anywhere, anywhere. But the earlier to give people at least a clue.
Now, an awful lot of people, when you go and get a job, you're going to take some level of this. Jennifer stuff is, she calls it, it's called PDP, but you've heard of Myers-Briggs, PI, DISC. There's literally hundreds of them out there. Yeah, there's hundreds of them. And there's just so much value in it.
And unfortunately, it's not understood and used as much as it could be. I certainly use it in my coaching, in executive coaching, and consulting because it's invaluable. And we've seen it in golf. And I got to, as I mentioned last week, work with Jennifer as much as 15 years ago, work with you a little bit with her. And there's tons.
Tons of value, and I'm really glad you're bringing it to the show, Jay. She, well, thanks, bro. And she, well, here's a couple of cool things that we're going to. tease this a little further. We're going to talk about her influence in the Ryder Cup and how she's held a smaller influence in the Ryder Cup with Paul Eisinger at Valhalla.
Much, much bigger influence with Julie Inkster. And Julie's won the last two Solheim Cups, and she's going after a third one this year. And. Great story about Peter Jacobson. She had an immediate impact on his career and brought him to some good golf.
So, yeah, so we got that coming up in the show. We've got a new whack and chase that's really fun with another Brad came in and called us in, and so that was kind of cool. And We got a late September. Date now on schedule for a new champions event in St. Louis four years.
Going to be great. Full field event, not a playoff event. Full field event. Still can't announce where it's going to happen. Nope, not yet.
Wow. Yep. It's all going to be worth the wait. They're still working on the contract, so it's not officially there yet, and I've been told to just sit on it. I know some of my other friends have called me and they've already said what they've said, and I'm not going to do that.
Well, I again, I asked last time, but I really hope it's something that is can you qualify for senior tour events for a champion tour? Yeah, you got those four those there's four spot qualifiers for those. Yeah, so there'll be if if I don't get an exemption, I can always try to qualify. But how are you going to get an exemption? That's the most important thing.
Yeah, it would be nice to have you in Christmas list, isn't it? Yeah, it would be I would just like to be part of this event. I'd like to be helping in any sort of ways that I can to raise money. We could go do live whacking chases with all the players. Would that help anybody?
I'm not sure. Any of them would be very good interviews. Imagine doing Miguel and Helen Emines. No, that would be worth doing. That would be so much easier.
Ignite deal, except maybe John Daly. That would be, I was going to say, we can have a wine and a cigar for Miguel. And for John, we'll have a cigarette and a bottle of whiskey. Or beer or anything. I don't know.
Tequila or anything. It doesn't matter. Jack Daley. That's two characters that it would be a lot of fun to interview. Very much so.
So I think it's just. Tremendous that the city, you know, this is such a great spot. How does it come here? How does what's the process to get to that tournament here?
So the biggest. Hurdle is always the sponsor. You know, it's not about money. It's not about money. Yeah.
It's about money. They have to be able to run the event. They have to put it on TV.
So it's a lot of cost. It's not like a tour event will probably cost a sponsor probably $10 million a year. Wow. Now, the cool thing that people may not know about that, Pearl, the PGA Tour did this beautifully when they set up their organization. 501 C3s So A not-for-profit arm is Half of what the tour is about.
And so The d the all the half of the money It is raised. At this tournament is going to stay local. It's going to go. Hopefully, some will go to the first T, hopefully, some will go to PJ Reach. Hopefully, some will go to Cardinal Glennon and Children's Hospitals, those great places that do such great work in town.
And then the other half goes to the tour. But what happens is. This charitable component just resonates with the. The companies. And allows them to put this money forward.
And I believe they get tax write-offs for this.
So it's tax deductible. Still spending a hell of a lot of money. But the purse is going to be $2 million. Great purse. No cut.
Three rounds. I could candy and no cut. Then I'm not paying for anything. Right.
Well, that's kind of a different thing. Maybe so. Maybe not. But what's the mechanics?
So, big time sponsor, and that's a big piece of it.
So the tours reached out. They have contacted me over the years and said, what do you think about these companies? And who do you know? And I would tell them. And.
I know for a fact that they were after Edward Jones for a long, long time to try to get them, you know, because they're a great corporate citizen. They've got a lot of money. They've got a big presence here. And they're not the title sponsor for this event. Is that known?
I don't think it is known. I don't think it is known. Even by you. Oh, no, it is known by me. I know who it is.
But it's a great company, and it's a great it'll all make sense when it's released. And so the tourists had these discussions. And so, what the process is, they reached the agreement with this corporate entity. I thought I was going to get it out of you for a second. And then the next thing is they've got to find a golf course.
And so the process they're in right now is working out their redlining. I talked to them. Two days ago, and they said we're redlining, you know, we're at the 11th hour. We're right there. Cool.
It's going to be and it's going to get done. Right.
And it's going to be exciting. And this is such a great sports town. And it's going to be so fun to have them. I thought I retired as a caddy, but I can see myself popping out of retirement here to drag your and bring the small bag. Yeah.
Oh, no. No doubt. Maybe take a few clubs out, too. You think? For sure.
Well, you get two golf balls and like 11 clubs. That's perfect. And do we get a cart? Yeah, I think we get a cart. And I caddy for you on the senior tour several times.
We never used a cart. I don't know why. I don't know. Because you didn't want to. I like to walk.
That's what I could walk. Be considerate. Yeah, now maybe I should say we want to walk. But you'll be driving a car. Of course, I can walk everywhere.
You can walk if you want to. I think you just shot yourself in your sore foot. Yeah, so that's going to be fun. You know, you look at the blues winning the Stanley Cup, the first Stanley Cup championship for the franchise. The Cardinals are the Cardinals who are just storied and do things so well.
And then golf and stepping up. You're such a St. Louis fan. You can just bleed. You bleed this far.
I think it's great. I think it's great. Yeah, it's a great place. And I just see that, especially in golf, whenever we've had an event here, the corporate. The the corporate citizens here just show up and and and Spades.
You know, they just do the right thing and they support it. And town is just looking forward to something else to look forward to and to have a good time with. And there's so many good golf courses around here for them to choose from. I'm sure they'll choose a good one. Yep, they sure will.
You know, that's going to do it for the On the Range segment. Come back. This is Golf with Jay Delsing on 101 ESPN, and we are going to the front nine. Doster Olam and Boyle LLC are a proud sponsor of Golf with Jay Delsing here on 101 ESPN. The firm was started in January 2015 by Mike Doster, Jess Olum, and John Boyle, three veterans of the St.
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You can find Jay online at jdelsinggolf.com. Welcome back. This is Golf with Jay Delsing. Jay and John are here to bring you the segment we call the Front Nine. Man, we got this interview with Jennifer Monroe, folks.
She is the author of Personality Matters. Um I think you're going to love what she has to say.
So, this is Jennifer Monroe. I remember meeting you years and years ago through a mutual friend of ours, Jim Hardy, and you. you had me take a personality profile test. And then we got together and played golf and talked about some of the The different unique things about me and my personality, and how I was kind of. playing a sport amongst all these These Fellow professionals that I had nothing in common with.
And you know, Jennifer, it was really interesting for me because I felt like, you know. A zebra in the middle of a bunch of leopards or something. Because I just was so out of. I was just so out of my element. You know, most of the guys wanted to go sort their socks and iron their underwear, you know, and I was like, I don't even have socks on today.
You know, so you really helped me a lot. You really helped me kind of figure out my identity. you know, on the golf course and figure out what what and who I was.
Well, you know, Jay, you were one of the first real professionals I worked with. And because of Jim Hardy, of course. And um I was nervous about I didn't want to mess up your game 'cause you had such a beautiful game. But Since then, it's been quite a long time. It's been quite a few years since then.
All the professionals on the tour and the LPG and the PGA and so forth, and all the younger tours too, that have come to me, the ones that I get to talk to and work with are the ones that are much like you. And I always call them the renegades because you just don't know how outnumbered you are when you have the kind of personality you have and the kind of personality that Jim Hardy has, and the kind of personality Peter Jacobson has.
So everybody that kind of gets steered to me are more or less. like you, but they're still woefully outnumbered on their tour on the tours because, like you say, about eighty percent of the people they're competing with Have a very traditional kind of personality. And they are kinds of people who believe that just because there's more of them, they're right. You know, just because they believe in numbers, the power of numbers. And so if they outnumber people with the more exciting personalities, they just think they'll wear them down.
And actually, that happens.
So when we go back to people who We weren't happy on the tour for one reason or another, even though they had a great game, more likely than not. It's one of these personalities. It just doesn't fit in, and the majority never let them forget that. Jennifer, tell the story, please, about Peter Jacobson, because Jake's a good buddy of mine. He told me about you before I went and saw you, and you had almost an immediate impact on his game.
Well, yes, and he was my very first true professional, I guess. It was about the same time, you know, I met you. And he asked me to do his profile. And he has, as anybody knows, a very big personality. And so when you have a big personality, meaning very outgoing, you know, how engaged he is with the spectators and how energized he is with the excitement and the enthusiasm and all that.
And so when I met Peter, it was because he was not doing well and he really wasn't having much fun and he wasn't enjoying his golf very much. And so I did his personality profile and I explained the things to him that I explained to you. And I also had to tell him that he has permission to be himself out there just because, like I said, this outnumbered thing is a very big deal. And being outnumbered, you know, even though you know you're not doing anything wrong and you're not doing anything you shouldn't be supposed to do, you know, talking to your caddy or talking to the gallery or whatever, you tend subconsciously to just kind of shut down or try to rein yourself in or try to be quieter and calmer. And of course, that changes your entire body chemistry.
It changes your outlook. It changes everything. And it takes the fun out of playing golf. And so we started talking, and he had not won a PGA tour event for a long time. He did really well in the pro-ams and so forth.
And the U.S. Hartford Open was coming up. in three weeks and he had won it 19 years prior to that. And so I talked to Peter almost every night, but during the tournament I did talk to him every night and the biggest message was you have to be yourself. You just have to be yourself.
And you have as much permission to be out there as anybody as long as you don't break the rules and you don't do anything unkind or insensitive. You can just be yourself. And the thing that I loved about that was The commentators kept talking about Peter that day. I don't know if you remember this or not.
So when he was on the fourteenth screen, a naked guy on a moped went rushing by. You remember that? I do. Anyway, so he was getting ready. He was off the green.
He was chipping on the green. And he, this was Sunday, and he was in the lead. He was doing quite well. And so that moped naked guy went by and he made par.
Well, the gallery went crazy. They just went crazy.
Now, standing up in front of him, this, I love this story, standing up in front of him was Kenny Perry. And Kenny Perry. Had been very aggravated. He was sitting there watching Bernard Longer off on fifteen up in the woods. searching for his golf ball interminably.
And so Kenny here is this mass. Of gallery coming up on him, and all the hooting and hollering and yelling and screaming. And you could see he was just mortified. And so the gallery comes sweeping up. And Kenny had started to make a move on Peter.
He's starting to close the league. And he waited and waited. And longer finally got out of the way. And I was so worried about Peter's nature because he's such a caring, concerned sweetheart. And I figured if he if Kenny Perry had a bad shot, Peter might feel bad about it.
you know, he's the kind of person who says, Oh my gosh, you know, I should have toned these people down or whatever. And I was so worried and I was sending him messages as hard as I could through the T V. Shake it off. Don't worry about it. It's not your fault if Kenny has a bad shot.
But then I knew if Kenny had a bad shot, Then Peter would worry even more, you know.
So Kenny Perry hit. The shot right up into the woods, same place Bernard Longer was, whereas he'd been standing there looking at that spot for 10 minutes.
So Anyway, I was so worried about Peter because I said, Peter, you've got to get that ball in that fairway and you'll win this tournament, you know, but he just gets so concerned with other people.
So sure enough. Kenny Perry's group moved on and then Peter came up and he hit the most beautiful drive. down the center of that dogleg um fairway. And he won the tournament. And so three weeks after I met him, he won his first PGA tournament in a long time.
So that's kind of Launched me and um But like I said, he just had to master uh his his natural feelings Are to worry about other people and to take in what's going on around him and to pick up the bad vibes that he got from Kenny Perry. standing with his arms crossed and his jaw out, you know, when he got to the tea box. And but he but he was able to master that and just focus on being him and playing his game and relating to his gallery and giving them one of the times of their lives.
Well, so Jennifer, you have taken this your personality profiling, and you have helped numerous huge companies, big companies, small companies. Um Just trying to get the right People in the right places and understanding themselves and helping people communicate better, and just all sorts of different things like that. Isn't that true? That is true. That is true.
And I mean, that's how I started in business. In nineteen eighty one, I started Eagle Vision Performance Solutions, and it was a performance enhancement firm. I always just wanted to improve performance in companies. But I got so turned on to profiling around nineteen eighty three That Profiling became actually the foundation, the core of everything I do. Because, and you know, I've just written a book and it's called Personality Matters.
And the reason for that is because people are hired and On their resume, their experience, their education, well-meaning references. They're hired for all kinds of reasons. But people fail or succeed absolutely based on their personality. And so you can have an incredible portfolio or credentials or numerous degrees or years of experience, but if you do not have the right personality that's comfortable doing what's required day to day in that position or task, you're just not going to be successful. And so the idea of profiling is not just what does the person know, but can they execute on it?
And I always say knowing it is not the same thing as doing it. And the same thing that happens in golf happens in business or any kind of relationships that If you have a personality that's compatible. with its role, field, and or environment, regardless of what that environment is, you're going to have a pretty successful, contented, self-actualized person and a healthy person. If you have an incompatibility with role, field, and/or environment. you're likely not going to have a health a healthy, self-actualized individual.
And most people don't know why they're unhappy. They don't know why it doesn't work. And so you see a lot of disgruntlement, also a lot of entitlement saying, well, I've paid my dues on this, and this is true in golf too. I've paid my dues, I've spent my time, I've done what was asked of me, and I deserve better than this. And when that doesn't happen, you get a lot of hostile, aggressive, angry people who don't understand why they're hostile and angry.
Because they don't understand that personality absolutely matters and the choices they make. And they too often don't make choices based on who they are. They make choices on what they're supposed to be or what they want to be or what somebody tells them they ought to be. And that's what happens in golf too, you know, with junior golfers, right? You have these fabulous kids who love playing and they just it's a game of the greatest thing.
And they may not have a competitive personality, but their parents may decide they need to have one of those. even if they don't have one, you know. And so they take the fun out of golf, and that's why around fifteen we see kids either going forward or going backwards. Um in their uh ability to to master the game.
Well, you mentioned your book. I'm sorry, you mentioned your book, and I wanted to congratulate you on that. We're going to talk about that in a little bit. But I think this is just fascinating to me. And we had on the show last week Julie Ingster, dear friend of both of ours.
And I know that you also. when I've done some of the U. S. Opens with Fox. I've ridden out and back and forth from golf courses with Paul Isinger, and I know you had a conversation with them.
Tell us a little bit about those conversations and why that is so critically important to the success when golf becomes a team sport.
Okay, well, you know, I met Julie You have to really be able to say that I probably met Julie as a result of meeting you because in Jim Hardy, you know, because it it's just this a big network of people. And so Julie called me prior to the 2015 Solheim Cup and asked me if I could help her work with a team and build a team that could be successful because you know we hadn't won very we hadn't won very much. Up to that point for quite a while. And so first thing we did is Julie invited the people who she thought was probably going to be most likely to be on the team. You can't really tell to the very end.
And Julie is handicapped by only getting two captains' picks. The Europe gets four.
So we have to work with whatever is there based on the rankings. And the challenge is that you have 12 girls I think they're girls. I think they're cute as they can be.
So I'm not going to get hung up on whether I have to call them women or not. But anyway, so we have 12 girls, and they basically. Um compete. year after year after year. And to be honest, just like anything else, they don't all like each other.
And so all of a sudden you have to come together when you have been scratching out these tournaments week after week, and you have to bond as a team. And So Julie came to understand, we spent a lot of time on this. She and I got together several times and And she came to understand that Uh we can't make somebody like somebody. And we can't make somebody really pull for somebody else, and so you have to earn that.
Well, personality really does matter in that. In other words, a simple thing like we had a pod of girls in 2015 that called themselves the Divas. And you can imagine who was on that pod. They were Christy Kerr and Paula Kramer and Morgan Presle and Michelle Wee.
Okay, now they're not called the Divas because they're so beautiful and so glamorous and have so many endorsements. They're called the Divas because they have this big, enthusiastic, flamboyant, outgoing, congenial, friendly personality. And when they're together, they're loud. You know, they're laughing and joking and pulling pranks on each other and having a big time.
Okay, and then you have another pod with, I won't name the names, but they were. very, very quiet, private, introverted people. very technical. Whereas the first girls were more big picture, more innovative, more experiential in golf. And these were more technical, more structured.
And so the very first time we had them together for a dinner, the first thing that happened was all the ones that were more introverted sat at one table, and all the ones that were more extroverted came in and just sat at another table. There were no assignments. They just gravitated to people that were they were comfortable with, people more like them. And so So the very first part when I was doing my presentation to them, we've done all their profiles. I gave them all their reports and all their team reports of how they see each other and that sort of thing.
And it was very clear that they were already irritated on the introvert table by the extroverts. And one of them actually stood up and said, could you tell them to shut up? Yeah. I said no. Beautiful.
I could tell them, but it wouldn't do any good, you know.
So that's a very basic thing that people who are very introspective and private have a hard time trusting and believing in people who are very outgoing and very flamboyant. In other words, they see that as insincere and shallow, and they then judge everything they do on that judgment, whereas they're not that way at all. But but because of their perceptions, they don't like each other.
So The thing about having compatibility is we can take four people, we can get them to bond pretty easily. If we Eliminate the hostility, the thing that's most naturally going to create anxiety or hostility.
Now, we've smoothed things out pretty good just by doing that.
So, the more we put people who are compatible, have the same worldview, have the same viewpoint of what behavior ought to look like, the more readily they bond with each other than people who just throw them in and say, Hey, you just have to like each other because they're just not going to do that. It's not that they Think that a person's not a good person, they just don't relate to how that person behaves. They wish they would behave differently. And so the extroverts think the introverts don't like them because they don't talk much.
So they think, well, if they don't like me, I'm not going to spend a lot of time with them. You know, it's a very basic, inherent, biological kind of thing that birds of a feather do flock together. And so when you're competing and you're trying to get the best out of everybody, you want to remove. as many of the potentials for anxiety or hostility as possible. And so that's kind of a basis.
And then, of course, who play who plays fast and who plays slow and those kind of things come into it.
So We did it in twenty fifteen and was fabulous. They won, and then we did it in twenty seventeen, and we've just done it again with the twenty nineteen team.
Well, that's going to wrap up the front nine. We're going to take a pause for a quick moment. To hear from some of the folks that support us here at Golf with Jay Delsing. on 101 ESPN. Quick note, we just got a call from our friend Joe Scheeser at USA Mortgage.
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After 25 years on the PGA Tour, Jay Delsing takes you behind the scenes from the eyes of a pro.
Now back to more golf with Jay Delsing on 101 ESPN. Welcome back to Golf with Jay Delsing. I'm your host, Jay. I've got my favorite Caddy John here with me, and we are headed to the back nine. Before we do that, we've got to talk about Whitmore.
The title sponsor for our show, they've been great. Really appreciate their support. There's 90 holes of golf at Whitmore. How does this membership sound? You get you get to play There's thirty-six holes at Whitmore itself, and you get access to the links of Darden.
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Jennifer, this stuff is so interesting because if you if you Look back. It you know, some of the the Uh futility. the way that the US has experienced in some of these team events, the Ryder Cup as well. It's it's almost you know, this is almost a no brainer sort of stuff, especially for someone that's such an expert in a field like you.
Well, it is a no-brainer, but it's amazing. You know, the writer cup is particularly heartbreaking when you see past captains, not all of them, but there were a couple of in the past that were probably given the honor just because they'd been around for a long time and rather than the fact that they had no leadership training or no leadership at all. But when you see people like that just saying, hey, it doesn't matter. These guys, one of them told me, these guys are professionals. I'm not going to tell them, you know, who to play with, to practice with, you know, I'm not going to tell any of that.
And that was one of the worst writer cups we've ever had.
So, you know, The bottom line is, you know, we're still people, and relationships matter, and how people behave matters. And if you look at all the crazy stuff going on in the world today, you just hear about, I don't like the way this one behaves, and I don't like the way that one behaves, and I don't like the way that tone of voice, and I don't like that they wear this or that.
So, so, you know. You cannot get away from the fact. That a person who doesn't have enough self-awareness to understand their own personality can't possibly understand someone else. And so our personalities are filters. And we take in all the information around us, everything somebody says or does or we see, and we filter that information based on our filters.
And we make judgments about that behavior or manner that are then labeled on that person forever. Everything they do is now Judged by that label, and the label more often than not is wrong. You know, for example, when you see very outgoing, you know, you happen to have, I know you're probably going to be shocked by this, Jay, but you have this very outgoing personality, right? And so there will be people on, when you were talking about the people sort, you know, sorting their socks and their shirt colors and everything on the tour in those days, they were, you wouldn't have to say or do anything. It was just your very nature.
And of course, you're very tall, you're very imposing to some people without saying or doing anything. And they think they have every right to create any judgments they want to based on these filters that they don't even understand. And so a person who seems confident, who seems comfortable in their own skin, who seems to enjoy what they're doing, I know. Know somebody along the line must have said to you, Oh, you know, Jay, that just comes so easy for you, you know, because they didn't see you floundering away on the driving range, probably the way they do. And so, did somebody ever say that to you, Jay?
They said, Oh, it just got to talk to you. No, you don't work. You know. No, I'm sorry. And it's hurtful.
And it's hurtful, right? And so even though you don't even particularly maybe care for the person that said it, it's still you think you start thinking, well, maybe I should be doing this or doing that.
Now that's when things go wrong. When we start doing things, that are unnatural for us, uncomfortable for us, um make us not happy to please other people. we lose out. It doesn't hurt them. It just hurts us to do that.
So the fact about these high, you know, more dynamic, more expressive, more exciting players. Being worn down by being outnumbered, that's just a fact. And it happens, it happens at the Solheim, too. But when we put people who are don't have to work really hard to relate to another person, it just makes life easier. And so they bond much more readily.
back to the Solheim, they bond much more readily with people who are like them. Jennifer, we talked about this when we first met, but I had a third-grade teacher. I think her name was Sister Eugena or something similar like that. And she said something to me. She made me stand up in front of the whole class, you know, third grade Catholic school, the nuns, the habits, the whole deal, fire, brimstone, all that wonderful Catholicism that we all grew up with.
And she said, you know, you're just so good at everything and you're so sure of yourself. You just shouldn't be like that. And I remember like there was something wrong with it. I remember crying in that class going. What what I'm laughing now, but I share as I wasn't laughing when I was, you know, seven years old, but I'm like.
What did I do wrong? You know what did I do wrong? I'm just sitting here minding my own business, and all of a sudden, you know, that comes out. But those sort of things, like you say, they definitely have big effects.
Well, if I remember too, because that story was very profound, if you, because you, you know, you were more athletic than a lot of the others and everything, and she would say, if you get too much pride or you get too excited about winning or you're too enthusiastic, something bad is going to happen. And there is a profile, by the way, that believes that. I mean, it really does believe it. And I'm not, I wouldn't be surprised if a nun didn't have that profile. It's what we call a negative sorder, and it believes that you should be very self-critical, and they're also critical of others.
But they believe that if something is too good, something bad will happen. It's part of their brain's chemistry. It's the way their brain operates.
Now, if you have a parent like that, or you have a teacher like that, and to them, they You know, one of the things that I I talk about all the time, and I just wish people could understand this: if a person is confident. It's because they have some vision and they can actually see what needs to happen. How do you win this? How do you play this? What's your strategy?
What decisions do you make? But everybody doesn't have that, Jay. You know, only about 20% of the people have that.
Now, the other 80% are always looking to the past or what they can read in a book or what they've learned from somebody else. In other words, they can't do something moving forward that they haven't seen done in the past.
So they're not confident because they can't see where it's going. Do you see what I mean? Oh, for sure. Whereas when you have a big picture orientation, you have a visionary brain that can connect the dots. If I see this happening here, I can see this is going to happen there.
It's like on a football field, you know, where you see where the ball is going or where the player is going to be.
So if you have that, You just assume everybody has it. You think, well, I didn't study for this. I didn't learn this in school. I've just always had it, right? You just, but you assume other people have it too.
Well, other people don't have it. And so they get very upset when they see something working over and over and over. for you or for somebody like you. It bothers them because they can't figure it out. And so the only way they can figure it out is say, well, it just comes easy, or you're just lucky, or you just, you know, everything just works out for you.
And it's like that some kind of something like a bad thing. But what they don't see is they don't see the hard work. They don't see all the thought processes that go into it. They don't see all the risks that you take. They don't see you weighing the pros and the cons.
They don't see that. And so because you don't talk about it, you just do it. And so They are very resentful of a person who looks confident, who looks competent, who is comfortable with who they are, who enjoys what they do, who loves what they do. You don't have to say or do anything, just that state of being, that state of being peaceful with who you are, comfortable with who you are, that unnerves about 80% of the population. Jennifer, we got a problem.
They never have that. Right.
And I feel like, you know, when I started going to cocktail parties, we told a funny story on the show a while back about Lee Trevino. And when I was a young pro, I go to cocktail parties. And, you know, I have this ability to, when I go into these parties, I can store, I can kind of sort people out, you know, with their energies. You know, and I could tell an accountant, and I can, you know, after a couple of years, I knew this guy was a doctor, this guy was an accountant. You know, they have just certain ways about them, about asking you questions and things like that.
And I. Um Man, I could tell certain energies that I wanted to be around and that I didn't want to be around, but I really didn't exactly know enough to trust myself until I started talking to you and learning more about it. And then so you wrote this book, and I feel like you've already given us some snapshots into this book, but you've got to be so proud. And congratulations to this book. And talk to us a little bit more about personality matters.
Well, I want to address what you just said about the energy, okay? Because I like Absolutely believe that your personality, which there's only one, there's never two exactly alike, just like snowflakes, the real snowflake kind.
So the point of it is there that you're unique and all that sort of thing, but within the personalities and all the different Millions and millions and millions of them, there are chunks of behavior. And I believe that this personality, however it's configured, it ended up in you or me or somebody else, is a spiritual gift. I absolutely believe that. And so, why do I believe that? Because you can be anywhere in any group.
in any situation and you immediately sense Your body, your mind, your breathing, you immediately sense when somebody is energizing you or somebody is pulling energy away from you. And so the personality is trying to tell you When you're energized by being around positive upbeat. interesting, enlightening, engaged people, you gain energy from that, Jay, with your personality. When you are around people who are negative sorters, who are malcontents, who are feel None of their expectations have been met. They've never gotten what they deserve.
You will actually feel your energy leaving your body. And so it's the same thing with the kind of work you do, the environment you're in, and that is personality trying to tell you when you're in the right place and when you're in the wrong place. And so we talked earlier, Jay, about living in places or being in situations which were just so de-energizing to us. And we knew it. You know, you can feel it.
It's not like somebody has to ask you a survey and you can answer the questions and figure it out. You feel it. The truth is that in my well, my truth, I don't believe in my truth, but the truth is. if you know what frustration feels like or what irritation feels like or what aggravation feels like, do you know what those feel like? Can you sense what that feels like when you Have any of those?
Oh, for sure. Okay, so you know it immediately, don't you? Yes. It can change a mood in a nanosecond.
Well, that's your personality telling you.
Something is out of sync here. This person is not good for you. or this person is not or this situation is not good for you. It doesn't mean it's bad or it's a bad person. It just means that you're getting if you would just learn to listen, to be self aware, to listen to the signals, that when I feel this, A, it doesn't feel good, does it?
No, not at all. It feels terrible. And so, but what we have to learn is we're not supposed to live in that state all the time. Just saying, well, everybody feels like this, or everybody has days like this. We don't have to do that, because it's the personality trying to tell you, it's your spiritual gift trying to tell you there's something out of sync here.
You need to move some way. You need to move away from it. You need to move around it, go over it, do something. But it's just terrible to be day to day to day without you know feeling really energized about the things you do and the people you're with. And we have entirely too many people who never figure that out.
That's right. I couldn't agree more. Yeah, I wrote the book. To a limited audience. It's to people very much like you who I feel are outnumbered.
So people who want to make something happen, take action, have vision. you know, have all kinds of of talent and skill and ideas, uh, who get worn down by being so alone. Um In their groups. In other words, they're surrounded by people who not only don't get it, but resent them because they get it.
So, people who can connect the dots and make something happen. My biggest pet peeve is. uh having one of my clients With a kind of make something happen attitude, action person, decisive person, visionary person. And they hear from people around them who they're dragging up the ladder of success with them, pulling them up, kicking and screaming to the top. But they're constantly hearing your expectations are too high.
Or why can't you just be happy with this? Or why can't you just settle for this? And it just annoys me to death when somebody puts up with that a lot.
So I always say when somebody says your expectations are too high, you should say, well, how low should they be? Because nobody's ever answered that. I say that all the time. You know, I tell people to say all the time. How low should they be?
At what level would they be low enough that you would feel good about them? Because people don't even think before they say that. What they're saying is that I don't understand what you see and where you're going and how you're getting there, and therefore, you're frightening me. Because I'm not afraid I'm afraid I might not be able to keep up. Right.
It is. It's the point of it. Is the person who hears it over and over and over. I have some of the most wonderful. High achievers for clients in the world.
I just crazy about them. And probably all of them at one or another time has said, you know, Jennifer, sometimes I think maybe this isn't all that important, or maybe I shouldn't be trying so hard, or maybe I should, you know, calm down a while and plat and let plateau out a little bit. And I say, well, you could do that, but it'll kill you to do it. You know, so eventually it'll it'll ruin your life doing it.
So, Jennifer, how much fun did you have to do? Go ahead. No, you go ahead, huh? Go ahead. Sorry.
No, just saying it's important for people who have some place they're trying to go.
Something to make happen, to make sure they know who's around them and to be very selective of who they take on the journey with them. And that's what the book was about. And you and you had a blast writing the book? I did, I did. I had a blast writing it because I tried to write it for a long time and I tried to write it so that everybody would like it.
So that I wouldn't aggravate anybody or irritate anybody. And then I finally realized I'm not going to be able to write that book. I'm going to have to write. Just the way I just told you it is. And and you know, after all the years of trying to do it, I wrote it in two and a half weeks because I just said I'm not writing it to everybody.
And I'm not writing it for everybody. And that information had to be dying to get out of your brain and onto those onto those pages. What? That information had to be just dying to get out of your brain and onto those pages. You've been it's been swirling in your in your head for so long and you knew exactly what you wanted to write, and then you gave yourself the freedom to do it and off it goes.
It did, it did, that was exactly right. And I did have a Can I tell you a story about the book? Yeah, please do.
Okay, so I finished the book. And um And it was like eight o'clock at night and I sat there and I pushed send to send it off to the editors. And um I didn't have any feelings. I didn't have any feelings like, gosh, that's great. Or I'm so relieved.
Or, oh my gosh, I'm done. Or I didn't, I had no feelings. I was totally numb. I went in and poured a glass of wine. I sat down on the sofa and I thought about it.
And I thought, I'm totally numb. I am absolutely got nothing, no feeling about this at all. And I thought, that is really weird, you know.
So the next day I got up and I had an office day. And in the day, I got four phone calls from clients of mine, totally unrelated to each other, all different areas of the country. And they were kind of about every couple hours, just, you know, can you talk for a few minutes? And I'd pick up the phone and we would talk about something going on in the company. And they were, so they basically had four different kinds of what I would call a crisis going on in the company that day.
It was just a strange phenomenon all at once.
Okay.
So, you know, we'd we'd handle all of that and the day ended and And I went and sat down. I got another glass of wine. I thought that was a great day. You know, a lot of things were accomplished. And then I thought, you know what?
Mm-hmm. I didn't say one single thing to them in those situations that I hadn't put in my book. And that's when I knew that I had said everything I wanted to say. I mean, I still have more to say, but I'm just saying that's when I knew I loved my book even if nobody else loved it, because I got to say everything that I've always wanted to say. Ah, that's got to be a great feeling.
It was. That was all I needed, but it was just so amazing. Because everything fit, everything that I thought was important in the book. was something we used that day. That was pretty cool.
The whole Peter Jacobson thing, I was one of the first golfers to meet with her, and I knew the Peter Jacobson thing. I know Peter well. And he talks about how much that helped him. It's a ton of help. I remember being with you and Jim Hardy, who worked with Peter.
And that was a common thread started to jump in there, but that because Peter was working with Jim, I was working with Jim. Asinger was working with Jim, all those. But what I was going to say is, Jim said in front of us, the little group that went down, he said, I don't really want to work with anybody on their golf game unless they've taken this PDP first so that I can better understand them and how they can best hear things, how I can best communicate with them. That's a huge piece to kind of cut through the minutia and kind of get right to it. You're using the same information because I'm helping you with it with some of the guys that you're instructing right now.
Crimson Callahan is playing absolutely the best golf of his life right now. And I got to tell you, we've got this young man, Blake Scornia. He is a sophomore at Desmet, and he's a name to watch for. He is a good player. But both those guys we did PDPs for.
No question. And it gave you some real clarity. And I haven't met, actually, I'd. Did meet with both of them. It was fun, Crimson in particular, because I got more time with him.
Fun for to watch the light bulb go off in his head. Oh, that's why I feel that way. That's what that's about. That's why we need to work on this with the driver. You know, to kind of get that game to match the personality and/or where the personalities kind of get in the way of a funky game of golf, how do we work around that?
It's a big, big deal. And for the parents out there that want to get to the next level for their kids in the game of golf, this can help an awful lot. Plus, as you said earlier, it transcends the game for sure. Personal awareness is a big deal. Not to get serious on the golf with Jay Delsing show, but that's a big, big part of.
Of success and being comfortable going through life. Yeah, no question.
Well, that's going to wrap up the back nine. Stay with us. We're going to get to the 19th hole in our episode of Whack and Chase. After these messages, golf with Jay Delsing, 101 ESPN. Urban Chestnut Brewing Company is proud to be an official sponsor of 101 ESPN's newest show, Golf, with our friend Jay Delsing.
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It's time for the Nineteenth Hole on Golf with J. Delsing. The Nineteenth Hole is brought to you by Mike Duffy's Pub and Grill. Mike Duffy's Pub and Grill, The best burgers in town since nineteen eighty six. Mike Duffy's Pub and Grill, The Best Burgers in Town Since Nineteen Eighty Six.
Well, thanks for staying with us. We just finished 18 holes, and now we're going into the 19th hole. We want to thank Mike Duffy. It's got two locations for being our official home of the 19th Holovar Show. We got an episode of Whack and Chase we're going to right now.
Love it. I hope you enjoy it. John J. Wackenchase continues today. Brad on the line.
Not this Brad, a different Brad. We got Brad's in the house. It's already confusing. Hey, Brad, how are you this morning? Hey, guys, how are you?
We're doing just fine, doing just fine. Uh where are you calling from this morning? Over in Teotopolis, Illinois. Teotopolis, Illinois. That's fantastic.
I don't know where the heck that is. Jay, you know where Teotopolis is? I can't say it. I can't spell it. I don't know where it is, but I appreciate you calling in, Brad.
Absolutely, Brad.
Well, hey, what's your question for Jay? Where do you need a little help on your golf game? Driver. Uh Used to hit a draw, now I'm hitting a fade. And it's Driving me crazy.
So, is it fading a little bit or a lot? Or why is a lot of great players playing fade? Are you losing distance, Brad? Is that what's going on? It's not losing distance, it's just when I set up to hit a draw or what I feel like I'm going to do, I'll cut it.
Or I'll pull it's either a cut or a p uh it's either a excuse me a a fade or a pull. As I should have. That's why I hate those shots too, Brian. I hit those all the time. Absolutely.
Absolutely. So tell us a little bit about how that runs. Are you a pretty mild-mannered guy? Do you run a little bit hot when that thing isn't going where it's supposed to go? And tell us a little bit about what kind of player you are.
Um Single digit handicap. It can warm me up a little bit, I will say. If. If if it doesn't go where it's intended, yes? What's it look like when you've been, as you put it, the warmest you've ever been?
Oh, that's not fair. This is what I can chase. That's a great question. I'm walking chase. That's a good question, but you don't have to answer it.
If this is a family show, I probably should refrain from. No, I'm just. But No, I mean Just frustration. No, no, no, no. I want to hear something.
You run a little bit hot. You're single-digit. You're trying to hit a fade. It's a pull left. Talk about how that goes.
You don't have to use expletives, but no, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't do that. Is it the same sort of feeling like if your wife comes home and goes, I just totaled the car? Pretty much, yeah. Yeah, that'd be a good one.
Yeah. Although she's never done that, please. Yeah, right. Knock on wood. Right.
Knock on wood. Yes, right.
So, so, Brad, you're single-digit. Have you ever played any competitive golf? Yeah, I played in college.
Okay, well, tell us your best golf story. What's the most. Accomplished golf story you can tell that when you had your best time or you played your best round or you hit your best shot. What's a great golf story from Brad? Yeah.
Oh my. Is that because there's so many of them, Brad? This is just to give you some time to process this. We had a f a couple of fellas, actually we had one whack and chase contestant or caller in was kind of stumped by this question, and then he said, Oh, hell, I made a hole in one about a year ago. You know, I'm like, well, that's a pretty damn good story.
And then we had a woman on not too long ago who was kind of stumped by this question, too. And she goes, oh, yeah, I made a hole in one. And we said, what club did you hit? She said, driver. He's my driver.
Yeah. So I'm like, man, I've never had a driver straight enough to get in the hole.
So that's kind of. where we're going with this. Uh I would say I did have my low round of 62. Wow. Wow.
Oh, wait a second. Was that a competition? No, it wasn't. Was that were you playing by yourself, or was there somebody else in the group? By myself and at night.
No, it was no. It was uh it was Me and three other guys. Little little little money game. That had to be an enjoyable nineteenth hole after that, Brad. It was very much so.
So you hear about this a lot on the tour.
So you're coming down the stretch. You're you're just going to shoot your lowest round or you got a shot to shoot your lowest round. Are you more jacked up? Are you more nervous? Tell us about the last shot or two that made it all happen.
Funny? Funny this is actually quite funny, I think. I'll tell you in a second for this one up.
Okay, my my m one of m my partner in this game, it was a two-man, you know, partner game. It was a it It was a short part of four last call. And I had to pitch it thirty yards over a creek to the green, right? And his ball is right in line with me. And with the whole And I've got a If I make it from the fairway, I tie the course record.
And I tell him the market, he refuses. I refuse to hit. Until he marks the ball. We stood there and waited each other out, and the other two guys are just getting mad as heck. And finally, he goes over and marks it.
I hit my ball. It rolls over his coin and goes in the hole for a two. Oh, man.
So you saw it, man. You had the feeling. You knew it was coming. True stories where That's awesome. That's awesome.
Well, it's it's it's safe to say that Brad is the best Player, we've ever had a wagon on the show. I've been on the show on the shot, bro. Does that include you two or what? I was insinuating that. Definitely.
Definitely. Well, I'll tell you what. On that note, I've seen Jay and I've been fortunate, and it is in competition, watch him shoot some really, really low numbers. And that's why I asked the question. It's kind of fun to see.
Now, for Jay, when he was rolling, there was kind of nothing stopping him. By the way, he wouldn't have needed that ball marked. He would have just bounced it over the ball or kicked it out of the way or something like that.
So when he would get on a roll, there was no stopping. There was no nerves that way. It was just go like heck, and how deep can we go? And hopefully, we don't run out of holes. That reminds me of the.
Probably the best run I ever played on tour was down in Alabama. And I hit my Brad, this is off the trail on Wag and Chase, but it's kind of funny. This is Wag and Chase, baby. I hit my drive just in this left fairway bunker. I had like 210 yards to the hole, pouring down rain.
I hit a four-iron into the hole for, what was it, 63? Yeah, 63.
So it was a low. The golf course was brutal. He was low. He was low for the day by seven. Yeah, that's how it was.
It was low. And my crack caddy over here, not my caddy on crack, my sharp, sharp caddy hands me my putter. And I'm like Pearl. I don't need my putter. I'm a teen, baby.
I'm sticking with a team. Then he handed me the rake, and I'm like, oh, you want me to rake the bunker? We were all just jacking around. And then our buddy Kurt Byram, who's now doing extremely well with NBC Golf, says, What a shot you hit on 18. We would have showed the whole thing, but you guys were swearing so much in the bunker trying to get out of there and handing each other clubs that we couldn't put you on TV.
Anyway. Nice.
So, where are we on here?
So, Brad asked the question. Brad's going to be so easy to solve.
Okay, so we know he's a single-digit handicap. Used to hit a draw.
Now he's hitting, still setting up to hit a draw, but he's hitting either a fade or a pull, which makes him run hot. Yeah. And that makes me run hot, too. Those are called double crosses on tour, and they are not fun to go to. You can't play from there, can you?
No, you can't. And really, both shots you're hitting, Brad, are and you probably know this inherently: the pull and the fade are. Uh They're near the same shot. You're just tired of missing one to the right, so you close the face a little bit.
So, there's a couple things you've got to work on. And your setup, One of the things I look at is to check your arm level. Your right arm might be above your left and might be preventing the club from closing at impact just a little bit. The other thing that I would check for sure is your aim. We can get ourselves fouled up with our aim.
You could be a little off either direction. And it could be preventing you from hitting the shot you want to hit. But in order to hit the shot you want to hit, I'd set up absolutely square, work on that setup, and then close up just a little bit so you can hit that draw and get that club swinging in to out, Brad. I know you know this feeling, shooting all those scores you have. And when you move the club from in to out, make sure you take the club face with you.
And what I mean by that is you've got to let the club face close just a little bit on the way in. And because if you hold it open and swing out to the end to out, you're going to hit a push fade. And that's going to piss you off. Big time. That's the one.
Yep, that's the one.
So, bud, you're probably doing everything except closing the face. And what that's going to be, and the rounds you've shot, you know this feeling. When you get down about. When you feel the club getting down to about waist high, start feeling like you're closing a little earlier. You're not going to cl you.
Most people go, Oh, I'm going to hit this massive snap hook. You might hit a couple of hooks, but you'll get that feeling. You'll get the feeling. Just start closing that club a little earlier, swing out to the right, and you'll start bombing it.
Sounds good, man.
Well, when are you gonna get a chance to play next, Brad? This weekend.
Okay.
No, actually, no, Thursday. Thursday, I'm planning.
So he must be a doctor or insurance guy or something like that if he's playing on Thursday. We like the way he rolls. He's 62 and he's going to go play Thursday. I cannot confirm or deny it. I don't blame you.
I wouldn't either. Here's how we end these segments, Brad. And again, we appreciate you calling in. If this information helps you, tell every single person you know you got it here with Jay and John on Whack and Chase. If you keep hitting those crappy poles and that lousy slice, tell them we never know.
Yeah, right on. I got it. Thanks, Brad. Have a great day. All right, buddy.
You guys too. Bye-bye. Yeah, this wagon chase is really fun. Brad was terrific and without question the best player that's ever called in for Wacket Chase. Is that a trend?
Do you think we can move in that direction after we worked with Brad? No. I don't think so. Single-digit straight away. I don't think so.
Well, I like to, again. We kind of joked with him, but when you're trying to hit a certain shape and the other shapes coming out, you're trying to hit a draw and a fake, you can't play from there. And that miss left. I don't need to talk to you about it because that unfortunately need to bring it up. But that's a place, so I don't care how good your short game is, you can't play from there.
No. How many times did I look at you and go, Oh, what's over there? You're like, I have no matter, it's no good. I have no idea. If it's long enough to go, it's all bad.
It's just how bad is it? In other words, we need to hit another one. Right.
And you find that one. Right.
Right.
Gosh, I hated when you'd reach into the bag for another ball. I'd be like, damn, I'm doing it again. Oh, that's going to do it for this show, Brilliant. That was fun. That whack and chase is good stuff.
I hope you folks enjoyed the Jennifer Monroe interview. Meet, thanks so much for keeping us together and putting us on the air. And St. Louis, hit them straight. That was Golf with Jay Delsing, brought to you by Whitmore Country Club.
Tune in next Sunday for more from Jay John and the other pros and experts from the golf world. In the meantime, you can find all of Jay's shows at one oh one espn. com, as well as at jdelsinggolf. com. Peloton, let's go!
This holiday. With the right music and the right motivation from world-class instructors. We're gonna pick it up a notch. It's the holiday season. You might just surprise yourself with what you're capable of.
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Peloton, motivation that moves you. Um
