Kids: You Gotta Love 'Em!

So the circumstances were that I had just given my life to Christ after having been a runaway drug abuser, sexually abused, in and out of mental institutions with a single mom and kind of a distant father. Ann's life was a mess.

She didn't know the first thing about how to be a good wife or mother. So focus on the family was like manna to me. Every day I needed wisdom. I needed guidance. I needed the lessons and the teaching that came every day from 11 to 1130 into my kitchen. And I know today that my life has changed because of Focus on the Family. I'm Jim Daly. Working together, we can give families hope and equip more parents like Ann. And thanks to a special match right now, any gift you send will be doubled.

Call 800-AFAMILY or donate at focusonthefamily.com slash gift. You're tired. You need to go to bed.

It's pasture bedtime. I don't want to go to bed. I don't want to go to bed. Well, you're tired. You need to go to bed. I don't want to go to bed. Okay. You have a choice. Do you want to put on your pajamas and brush your teeth and go to bed or do you want to spank it? She put her finger in my face.

No. The joys of the bedtime struggle with little children. That is Ken Kington and we have some comic relief to share with you about the highs and lows of doing life together as a family. Thanks for joining us for today's episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Well, John, when times are hard, it's important to enjoy some laughter. And that's what we have in store with our guest, Ken Kington today. Ken is a very popular comedian and motivational speaker and has quite a knack for finding the humor in everyday moments with his wife and three kids. So I know you're going to enjoy this message.

Yeah. And I'm really looking forward to this. Here's Ken Kington. We're going to be picking up after his opening remarks from a presentation called Wow Moments.

Here he is on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Getting old is not easy, but I got to tell you that in marriage is wonderful. I love being married. It's not easy.

It's not easy, but it's worth it. Any newlyweds here tonight? Any newlyweds?

Married less than a year. Anybody? Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome.

You should be proud. I love being around newlyweds. They're just, oh, I love you. I love you so much. I love you so much. No, I love you more. When you're gone, I can't breathe. It's like my heart's gone.

It's like he's going to work. He's coming home. All right. It's okay.

It's all right. And then you go to the stage. We're in the stage now. We're in the stage now where it's like we're seeing the differences and that little 5% that's different can drive you crazy. I'm OCD. My wife's like, you are so OCD. OCD.

I mean, I am. My clothes are all in the right order and it's different colors. And I can't go by the sink where there's a dish. Oh, the dish. I got to wash the dish.

And there's some good side effects. Ladies, I washed the dishes at my house. Okay. Yeah, I know. I vacuum without being asked. Okay. So try to contain yourself because I wash and soften and dry and fold and iron all the laundry at my house.

Now I'm fully aware that I am below average looking, but for women over 30, I may have just become one of the sexiest men alive. I did that on a show a couple of weeks ago. Women were throwing clothes on the stage. I don't think they were turned on.

I think they were going iron this. Wash this. Well, if I have OCD, my wife has a condition I have termed G I L D. Get it later disorder. We'll get it later. I didn't have time. I'll get it later. Later seems to never come. Get it later.

It's dangerous. Went to the bathroom one night. She had left her drawer out.

Oh, well go the next day. She goes, what was that noise last night? What was that noise? I said, you left your drawer out. I cut my leg. She goes, oh, I didn't have time. Didn't have time. Like, what do you mean you didn't have time? I didn't have time. I was in a hurry. I didn't have time.

I said, get your stuff. Okay, get your iPhone, put it on the stopwatch. Ready? Time this. How long was that? Let's do it again. Ready?

How long? And you know, it was a little frustrating. I had a cough one night, walk downstairs, go to get a glass, go to open the cupboard. It was dark. I went to open it.

I missed it because it was open. I just. Wake up the next morning in a pool of blood on my pillow. She said, what happened to you? I said, you left the cupboard door. I didn't have time. I didn't even get to finish.

You didn't leave the cupboard. And it can be so easy to get frustrated with those little pieces, but I don't because that's 95% of the time. She's incredible.

I love the little pieces. God has blessed me with my wife has a condition for a student language arts teacher, and yet she will mix up words all the time. And it's just entertaining. We're having a disagreement in the middle of this agreement.

We don't fight really hard anymore. It's just disagreement. She goes, okay, okay, listen, you say potato.

I say tomato. It's the same thing. It's really not.

It's not even close. And then there's times I just don't, I don't even know what she's talking about. She goes, I'm just telling you that just broke the last straw.

Is that good? We're driving. She wanted to throw an idea at me. She goes, no, I don't want you to make a decision.

I'm not saying we have to do it. I just want to, I just want to put a bug in your ear to chew on. She said, what does that look for? That I don't really eat bugs and I can't chew with my ears.

And this is one of my favorites of last year. This lady calls her sister, new job, new job calls her. How's your new job? I hate it. Why do you hate your new job? My boss. He's always breathing down my throat.

I would hate that job too. And I love this one. This only happened a couple of weeks ago. A guy said he was in a meeting, got it heated. And this guy in his meeting goes, you know what? I just want to let you know, you just insulted my ignorance.

I would live for that. Well, I can assure you, I did not mean to insult your ignorance. I fully intended to validate your ignorance.

And then there's the extremes. Another lady said her dad had a spot, spot on his hand, called her mom. Hey, how's dad's spot? She goes, I don't think it's anything, but made him a doctor's appointment next week anyway. I'm going to go have him get an autopsy.

Not very optimistic there, are we? But I love that about my wife and I need my wife. I only love her.

I need her because we have children. I can tell you this, my least favorite phrase as a dad, I might have. I might have. Last February. It was cold last February.

I'm driving my sons to school when I hear out of the back seat. Uh-oh. What do you mean, uh-oh? I might have forgot something. You might have forgot something.

Now I want to just take a little poll here. Someone on this side of the room here, February, driving to school, he might have forgotten what? Coat. Very good. Very good.

Backpack. Very good. I thought of those as well.

That wasn't it, but those are good guests. Someone over here just, I might've forgotten. Who said shoes?

Do you know my son? He said, I might have forgot my shoes. I said, well, look on your feet. Do you see shoes on your feet?

No, sir. At what point do you walk outside across a cold concrete floor and not have the thought, there's nothing on my feet. Amazing. And it didn't stop there.

It's just ongoing. A week later, my wife told my kids, grab your shoes, get in the car. We're going to eat dinner out tonight. My son's in the living room. I said, did you hear your mother?

Yes, sir. Go get your shoes. I don't know where they are. I asked him, where's the last place you put them. He did not say anything, but the look on his face was like, well, Yoda, if I knew that I would go get them. I have a college education and I'm sucked into this conversation. I asked the dumbest question on the man. I said, where is the last place you remember having them?

On my feet. Amazing. Amazing. But I absolutely love him. He's a great student, great little athlete, good kid.

And out of nowhere, he'll just come up with something. About a month and a half ago, he's like, dad, are you going on tour in Florida anytime? I'm like, yeah, I go there a few times. You go to Orlando. Can I go?

I'm like, sure, man. You can go. I said, why do you want to go to Orlando? I want to go to SeaWorld.

I'm like, dude, he really didn't like SeaWorld as a kid. He goes, I know. I just want to walk around and see people's reaction. So what do you mean, a reaction?

He goes, I'm taking a fishing pole. And there's something about life that don't get distracted by all the stuff out there. What is really important? And those thoughts go through my mind. What's really important? And I learned this through my kids a lot.

God shows me this through my children. About a year later, they were in bed one night. My boy shared a room and we lived downstairs and their room was upstairs. And in the middle of the night, 3 in the morning, I hear, Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!

I thought he was sick. I run up the stairs. I walk in. He is standing on his bed, standing on his bed like a superhero. Daddy! Daddy! I said, dude, what are you doing? Daddy! It's like he'd been rehearsing this or something.

3 in the morning, he goes, Daddy, I want chocolate milk now, please. I'm like, what? I said, dude, it's night-night time. And he looked at me like maybe he didn't hear this right. I'm standing up. I should get on my knee.

He drops to his knees. Daddy, I want chocolate milk now, please. I'm like, dude, it's night-night time. I said, you got to go to bed. And he looks at me and the look on his face is like, what part of this do you not get?

I'm saying all the right words. And I lay him down and he's like, Daddy, I want chocolate milk, please. And I was like, dude, I will get you all the chocolate milk you want in the morning. But right now, it's night-night time. And he put his head on the pillow and he turned up and he went, chocolate milk, please. I said, nobody, it's night-night time. And he rolled over and he went, okay, Daddy. And he went to sleep. And as I walked down the steps, it was one of those moments. Now, God has never spoken to me audibly.

Never heard that. But it was between conscious, unconscious, that part of the soul where you're just like, I know this is something more than me. And God just whispered, Ken, that's the way I want you to be. I want you to ask for anything.

And just know that I'm only going to give you what's best when it's best. And I was just like, I literally stopped on the stairs that night and I just went, whoa, wow. And I got to tell you, though, I'm stunned he made it.

I really am. Because he's got an older brother 11 months older. And he made it through some tough times. Because my older son, I'll never forget this, my oldest son was probably just about two.

So he was just about 10, 11 months. And you remember those little bouncy seats? Those little bouncy, you put the baby in the bouncy seat. Cody was in one of those and it got really quiet.

When you have babies, quiet is not good. I walked around the corner. There's my oldest son straddled over the bouncy seat with a bag of cheese puffs, stuffing them into Cody's mouth.

It's got like 10 cheese puffs. And he'd put one in and go. I ran over, I'm like, stop. He goes, he like it!

Wow. And I don't know if you have children that are close in age and it's normal. They don't get along all the time.

And we have a very simple discipline. Like if you can't get along, you sit on the steps. Sit on the steps.

A fate worse than death. Sit on the steps. And they would just sit.

Man, five minutes seems like an eternity to like a five year old. I was walking down the hall one day and out of the room where they shared, I hear this major thud. I'm like, that can't be good. So I start walking down the hall to investigate as right before I get to the doorway, I hear my second son sniffling and my oldest son going, I didn't mean to man. I didn't mean to man. He said, we don't want to sit on the steps, man. We don't want to sit on the steps. And I hear Cody's like, I know man, just give me a minute.

Just give me a minute. And the older one to cheer him on, he's like, take the pain, man. Take the pain. Where do you hear that when you're six years old? I'm surprised they survive.

I really am. And then I remember we were reading these books when they were born, read the books, put them on a schedule. We did that.

That worked great. We read it and let them make choices. Let them make choices early and often and let them find out through failure and learn through failure. Let them make choices.

When the earlier they are, make the choices obvious. Four years old, my oldest son came in, he was exhausted one night. It's time for bed. I'm not tired. I'm not tired.

Like you're tired. And I thought great part for a choice. I said, now, I said, you have a choice. Would you like to put on your pajamas and brush your teeth and go to bed?

Or would you like a spanking? We sat there, he's like, um, I'm going to do my pajamas and go to bed. I'm like, that's a great choice. That is the choice I would have made. Good choice. If you have children, you know they're different.

11 months later, my second son, he turns four. He's out at night. He's exhausted.

He's staggering. He's so tired. Like it's time for bed. I'm not tired. I'm not tired. Like you're tired. I don't want to go to bed.

And then it's like, okay, you have a choice. You want to brush your teeth, put on your pajamas and go to bed, or do you want a spanking? And he stood there. Like three minutes. I'm like, did you hear me? He goes, um, after the spanking, can I stay up? Five years later, we have a little girl. How many of you have little girls?

They are different. She hits four. She's on the verge of tears. She's so quiet. She's tired. So like you're tired. You need to go to bed. It's past your bedtime. I don't want to go to bed. I don't want to go to bed. Well, you're tired. You need to go to bed. I don't want to go to bed.

Okay. You have a choice. Do you want to put on your pajamas and brush your teeth and go to bed? Or do you want a spanking? She put her finger in my face. No.

I don't think that's one of the choices. And then there's details, different details. I love this. You get a time where you're feeling bad about yourself, being a little down, a little depressed, thinking I need some entertainment, but I got no money. I tell you what to do. You go to Walmart.

Yes. Skip reality TV. You got reality right there.

That is a freak show every day right there. I love, I love Walmart and I'm not judgmental. I'm not at all. And I'll tell you, I'm not, I'm not. I can tell you honestly, I've never been a woman, never been pregnant.

I'm just saying if I were a woman and pregnant, I wouldn't wear a tube top. Okay. I'm just, there's always after midnight, there's always one family with little kids walking around Walmart two in the morning and the mom's got her halter top on just yelling at the kids. Why are you so grumpy? What's wrong with you? So grumpy, you better straighten up. Why are you so grumpy? I'm living for the day that one of those little kids just goes, my parents are idiots.

I got a mullet and an earring and a tattoo and I'm only four. There are moments. There are just those moments in life.

And I, and I tell you, I love those moments. We were actually, when the boys were small, we took him to Disney world. I don't know if you've ever seen this or not, but the breakfast with the characters, have you seen that?

It's where you pay like 40 bucks for cold eggs and you're sitting there eating and wondering why you paid $40 for cold eggs and these big furry people walk out and it's awesome. It's like, Oh, they were awesome. Last day we were there, we decided we want a memento, a memory. And we took them to downtown Disney, took them to a souvenir shop. They had this wall, huge wall of stuffed animals.

And they're just like, Oh, so you can get one of anything. My oldest son went into shopper's trauma. They're like ate up and going. I watched him freak out. And then I watched Cody. Cody was right down here to my right.

I'm watching Instagram, do spinning drills and Cody standing right there. Now Disney makes most of their stuffed animals gender neutral. They make a few that are masculine in nature.

To my knowledge, they only make one that is feminine in nature. And that is Duchess the cat. My rough and tumble Cody is standing here holding duchess.

I said, what are you doing there buddy? I want a kitty. I said, you want a kitty? And he goes, I want a kitty. I'm like, Tigger, Tigger's a cat. You love Tigger. No, I want a kitty. The lion King. You love lion King. Roar. And he's like, I want a kitty. Every time I made a suggestion, it got closer and tighter. And he held on for dear life.

I'm like, Oh, that's your choice. He loved this cat. He kept this cat for years and he'd never wavered. He loved this cat. I'm like, okay, you got the kitty.

All right. And I'll never forget. We came home two weeks later. I went to tuck him in to bed and I always love to pray over my kids when they're little. I always pray and I'd touch the different parts. I would just pray. I'm like, God, give them wisdom beyond their days. And I touch their head. Give them a heart of compassion. Give them arms that reach out to others.

Give them legs that walk in the truth. But Lord, please, please, most of all, Lord, give them joy. And I would just tickle them till they cannot breathe. And when they couldn't handle it anymore, they would go, my joy takes full. My joy takes full.

And I would go, Lord, thank you for giving them joy. And I walked in. I said, Cody, it's time for bed. And he was kneeling on his bed and I walked in and he's got his back to the door. I said, buddy, hop in the bed.

Time for bed. He goes, Daddy, come here. And I walked around. There's Duchess laying on his bed with his little green blanket over her. And he goes, Daddy, watch. And he leaned over and he goes, I prayed a head and a heart and a legs. Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy. And he said, look, Daddy, I'm the daddy.

I said, you can keep the cat. Oh, it's just, oh. What a priceless moment from Ken Kington as he shared today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. John, this has been so fun today.

And Ken made an important point with that last story. Children mimic us. His son Cody was repeating the prayer that he'd heard Ken say with him every night. And I think that's a great reminder for us as parents. Your children are watching. Let them see you being a faithful follower of Jesus Christ. That's one of the best things you can do for them. It's one of the things I did for my boys.

Yeah. And if that thought is a bit overwhelming for you as a mom or a dad, Ken has given us one very good first step, and that is pray with your kids. Help them learn through your example. It's a great point, John. And we'll post some helpful articles about prayer on our website.

Come check it out. And as we are closing in on the end of the year, let me just remind you that Focus on the Family is here for your family. We are a non-profit organization, and we do rely on your donations to enable us, along with the Lord's help, obviously, to strengthen marriages, empower parents, support pro-life and foster care efforts, and ultimately to share Christ with the culture.

John, I'm so pleased. Last year, 12 months, we had over 190,000 decisions for Christ. And man, that is so worth our effort together. We have a lot to do, and we'd love to have you partner with us financially so that we can bring help and hope to those who need it. Please consider making a generous donation today and be part of the ministry. Right now, special friends of the ministry have offered to double your donation, dollar for dollar, so that your gift will have twice the impact. It's just a fun way to spur on giving for the ministry.

And regardless of whether you can give, we have a gift for you. We've compiled a collection of the funniest shows from the past few years, including this message from Ken Kington, all in a set of free audio downloads. And we want to give your family the blessing of humor. Yeah, the collection includes this message from Ken, plus a lot more clean comedy, including Jeremy Newness, John Branion and Shonda Pierce.

Get your free download of the collection when you follow the link in the episode notes. Next time, a fascinating testimony of encouragement from a couple who discovered that focusing on Christ as individuals helped save their contentious marriage. On behalf of our entire team, thanks for listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly.

Take a moment, please, and leave a rating for us in your podcast app and share this episode with a friend who might need a laugh or two. I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ. If the fights with your spouse have become unbearable, if you feel like you can't take it anymore, there's still hope. Hope restored marriage intensives have helped thousands of couples like yours. Our biblically based counseling will help you find the root of your problems and face them together. Call us at 1-866-875-2915. We'll talk with you, pray with you, and help you find out which program will work best. That's 1-866-875-2915.