From Foster Care to Family: How a Small Church is Making a Big Impact

Today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, you're going to hear how one couple answered God's call to care for the fatherless and how they inspired an entire community to actively love children in need.

Thanks for joining us, I'm John Fuller. Many, many churches are doing the same thing, pregnancy resource centers. There's so much help in that space.

But you know what? There are families that end up impacted by so many different things, drugs and alcohol. And that was my story. My dad was an alcoholic.

My mom died when I was nine. I ended up in foster care for a year. And that's why this is so close to my heart being a former foster child. And many, many years ago, I heard of a story of a pastor, and it was Bishop Martin, who's one of our guests today, whose church of about 200 had about 77 kids adopted.

I was like, wow, what is in the water in possum trot? And so I am so excited today, because really, I want to say this with the deepest respect, his testimony, his witness is what initiated our effort here at Focus to do more in the focus. To do more in the foster space. And boy, we've done a lot under the direction of Dr. Sharon Ford, who heads up that effort. Families are being equipped and educated about what it means to come into the foster care system and adopt and care for these children. We have Bishop W.C. Martin joining us.

As you said, Jim, he's the pastor of Bennett Chapel in possum trot, Texas, and also with us, Rebecca Weigel. She produced a film about this incredible story. It's called Sound of Hope, and it's coming out soon. I'm looking forward to it.

July 4th. And Jean and I are going to go. We'll take our boys if they're available.

But everybody should go see this, because it is convicting. What can we do? Let me paint a little bit of that picture. There's about 400,000 kids in foster, the foster system in the United States. About 110,000 are available for adoption. This is where the parental rights have been terminated, and these kids are just waiting.

Just waiting. And, you know, they're not necessarily going to come completely intact and ready to go. They have issues that they've had to deal with.

Many have been abused in a variety of ways. But who better to love on these kids than the Christian church? I mean, we should be at the forefront. I always talk about looking forward to that day when there's a New York Times headline that says Christian church wipes out waiting adoption list for foster care. You want to change the tenor of the debate? You want to prove what Christianity is all about? Let's aim for that headline. That's great, Jim.

And I think you've said this before, the math is pretty simple. If every church would just step in. That's what hit me.

I think at the time, I don't know if this is still accurate, there's like 360,000 churches in the U.S. and 110,000 kids needing to be adopted. It's not easy. We're going to talk about that. And with that background now, let me say welcome to all three of you. Good to have you in focus.

It's so much fun. Bishop Martin, let me start with you. You have that incredible story.

I've given just a little taste of it. I mean, how many kids did you personally adopt? And then how many kids were adopted through your church? We adopted, personally, four kids.

And we have in the church, I told them, 77. We had one little boy who was the last one to come in. It hadn't been an adoption going on about maybe six, seven, eight months. And then a lady called me one day and said, look, are this the church that had been adopting a lot of children? I said, I got a little boy that we just can't deal with and I'm going, can you take him?

I said, bring him on. So we found a family and they was glad to accept him. And it just brought him from there.

He went on to be a basketball star. So the first time you met Mercedes and Tyler, which is depicted in the film so beautifully, what happened? Well, Mercedes came and she was always a daddy's girl, you know, so she just came up to me and jumped up in my arm, you know, and then Tyler ran to my wife, Donna, and then she jumped up in her arms. And one thing that my wife got, both of them came to the box. And Dr. Ford, you shared this while ago, and said, she opened up the box and said, look, you see all this food here? You open up the camera, see all this food here? And the one thing she told them, because they had been in nine homes in one year, she said, Mercedes and Tyler, this is the last train to Georgia.

You will not be leaving this house. And I don't know if that resonated with her or not, but I really believe it did because Mercedes was, she was smart. She was a very smart little girl, how they scheme her way, but she couldn't count to five. And it was so amazing about it because my wife used to sit at the counter every day and had a jar of pennies to teach Mercedes how to count to 10, 20, and 30. And it went on for a wide while.

Mercedes ended up finishing school as an A honor roll student. And because of the fact that somebody, I think you're right about that. When all they need is someone, they just take up a little time with them, help them and guide their little thoughts because their thoughts have been traumatized so much. And it needs something else now to take the place of that trauma and show them that they are a love, they are a part, they want to be a part, they need to be a part. And it really is amazing though. Those children gave me a PhD in child psychology.

Yeah. Amen. I mean, that's the one thing that's so true. There's so much potential in these children. And you know, one of the things that children unfortunately in this situation often don't have is simply a parent that is able, capable to love them and to help them. I mean, whatever is kind of taken their legs out and these kids through the courts and other ways, these kids are just without that kind of loving adult in their life.

Share just their story a little bit and tell us what they were dealing with as children. Mercedes and Tyler was two that were very, very, they were different. In the beginning, the caseworker told us that we were going to never be able to handle Tyler and Mercedes because they had been in nine homes in one year. And said there's no way in the world. We were just getting in the business and they weren't going to bring nobody in. We green, we don't know nothing. And they were just going to run over us.

But we fixed that problem. And Mercedes had a very, very bad problem of stealing in line. And stealing food particularly.

Food. I mean, she was an authority. And I think she did that because of the fact that she'd been hungry.

And I think she developed the attitude of stealing when she had to steal in order to feed her little brother Tyler. And that's why she came in. And I mean, she could do it so beautifully. And she could steal so smooth. And she could lie so smooth. And she could look up at you and just make you believe the lies that she's telling. But, you know, I had to tell her one day, Mercedes, I'm too old a cat to be fooled by a kitten.

Too old a cat to be fooled by a kitten. I like that. You're going to have to come on with another story because that is going to work with me, you know. What look in her eyes did you see when you said that? Oh, Lord. She had different cleaning eyes.

I know you got to believe I'm telling you the truth. So the way I fixed that, you know, a lot of times old people had different ways of doing things, you know. And I came up under some of them old time ways of how to handle a situation. And we handled her real good.

One night we were riding together. Mercedes said, I guess the police is going to pick up somebody from stealing. And I said, really?

Yeah. They done stole something and the police going to go get them. And one night we finished a revival and Mercedes ordered some funny face hotcakes. And she was sitting there eating a hotcake. And I saw this big policeman coming in.

Man, he had some biceps and criceps on him that wouldn't make it. So he went in the bathroom. I went in and I said, man, I said, look, Lord, just quicken my spirit. I said, that's where you're going to stop her right now.

So I went in and told him, I said, man, I got a problem out there. I got a little girl I just adopted. I mean, she's sweet as she can be. But this little girl will steal you blind. And I don't want to see her in the system twice. She just came out and said, I don't want to see her go over and get back in the system. So he went in there and called her name out. And when she said she almost swallowed that whole plate of hotcakes. But we stopped her.

He said, if I catch you stealing girl, I'm going to put you in the jail. We had no more problem with her stealing. That was it. That ended it right there. But she was slick.

She was really slick. And that's one of the amazing things. These kids learn to survive. But I think what is good, especially for Christians who want to engage, you have to have the adult brain. You don't let your emotions get out of control because these kids aren't capable of doing what you tell them to do. You have to nurture them to a place of safety.

They're not used to that. In fact, somebody once told me in our process, they're going to keep testing your ability to love them. So what they do is they try to sabotage the environment to see, do you really love me? Even if I do this, do you still love me?

If I do this, do you still love me? Because they haven't felt that kind of unconditional love before. And you know, that's a true fact and a true statement because what I found now is that, and I tell them all, the child got to learn to trust you. While you're talking about you want to trust them, that child is going to have to learn to trust you. And in the midst of all of that, you're going to go through some problems.

There's going to be some situations there that are going to make you literally just pull your hair. But you got to stay the matter. You got to stay with the court. You got to stay on the court and know that this is a child that brought up on her trials and tribulation and heartaches and pain.

And this child going to need something else other than what they've been receiving all the time. Well, the reality was, you know, we go into this thinking we're good adult, mature believers. And then you find out, oh, I'm not as close to God's principles as I thought I was, right? So, I mean, for Jean and I, it was like, you know, we thought we had patience and love and joy down pretty well. But then in that environment, yeah, it tests your ability to be truly Christlike to these kids.

And it takes so much. And that, again, I'm not going to be effusive here, Bishop Martin, because you really set a pathway for so many through a variety of organizations that have watched what you've done to set that stage and to move forward. Let me ask you about Terry, because, Rebecca, as I get you into the conversation, I want you to talk about you did the film. Terry's story was a core part of the movie. But describe Terry to us, Bishop. When Terry came to us at first, we were just supplying some respite for the parents who had Terry. But then they came back a week later and told us that Terry was not going back and asked us, could we just keep her for a while until they find a safe home for them.

But then end up Terry, end up staying completely. Terry came in our home, and the first time I saw her, and she jumped up on the table and said, I'm a cat. And I could not, I said, girl, you're a cat. How in the world you got to be a cat?

I said, what's wrong with you? You know, she said, I told you I was a cat. See, and that lasted for a while. But then when it came to the eating time, that's when, you can say the pellar hit the melon. Reality came in quickly.

It came in. I'm hungry. So I said, well, what you, well, I'd like to have a hamburger. I said, well, a cat don't eat that. I said, I'm going to give you a cat eat. And when you get it, you don't eat, you eat cat food, you a cat, I'm going to give you some cat food. So this was just the idea so she could process it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like that. But then she thought about what I was saying. So when we sitting up there eating black eyed peas and smothered chicken and hot water cornbread.

Quite a cook by the way. You're feasting and she's watching this thinking, okay, I'm not a cat right now. I think, I think that process right there ended her cat days. And she had never, and in some kind of way, I don't know what happened to the cat because she had this huge cat.

And what I really saw in Terry was is that she didn't, nobody wasn't paying attention to her. And she just laid with this cat. She hung around this cat.

She'd go to school, come back. And all evening she was just with this cat. And she ended up taking on that cat mentality. That's interesting.

The cat was her friend. Well, this is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. We have three guests all passionate about this matter of stepping in and making a difference for children in the foster care system. And we want you to find out more.

Stop by our website. We've got resources about Wait No More, our adoption and foster care efforts. We've got details about Rebecca's film.

We're about to get to that, I think. And also Bishop Martin's story. It's captured in a book published by Focus on the Family. It's called Small Town, Big Miracle, How Love Came to the Least of These. And you can find out more by stopping by the program description or call us 800, the letter A in the word family. I have a rewrite on the title.

Maybe you'll like it. Small Town, Big Miracle, How Love Came to Town. Remember that song, How Love Came to Town.

Anyway, Rebecca, let me get you in here. You're a movie producer, you and your husband. You saw the story, heard about the story. And Terry's story in the story particularly got your attention.

Why? And then why do the movie? Well, I think of all the kids, that one was the most interesting from a storyteller's perspective. This child that's been through so much that they're identifying as a cat and she had a lot of challenges. And we had to figure out a way to condense the story. It's a challenging story. I know a lot of people have attempted over the years and it's how do you tell the story of 22 families adopting 77 children? I mean, that's what inspires us is the grand vision of this church stepping in together.

But that's not exactly easy with a story. So I think following the Martin's journey and then the challenge of Terry and a child that's been through so much and how do they do that together as a church. That's what drew us to telling Terry's story. But personally for us, we were on the other side of the country living in Los Angeles.

We've always felt called to make films that really impact the world and impact culture. So we moved to Los Angeles in 1998, which is interestingly the same time that they started this journey of fostering and adopting. And we had always, as Christians, felt called to foster and adopt at some point. But we were living in Los Angeles. We have three of our own kids.

We always felt like we had more than we could handle. It was like this dream someday we will foster and adopt. And I think a lot of people feel that. There's so many Christians I talk to that are like someday I want to do this or someday when my life isn't so crazy I'm going to do this or when I have a bigger house. Yeah, you go through all those gyrations about when I get married I'll do this, when I have children, when I have enough money I'll have children, well maybe we should adopt someday. All those discussions that go on, it really comes down to just do it. Not to steal from Nike, but it is a good slogan.

Just do it. Bishop Martin, let me ask you this. So often, you know, I love the Lord writes it down for us, right? If we're going to have a spiritual SAT test, he said in Galatians, if you're rooted in me, you will have the fruit of the Spirit. And the fruit of the Spirit is this, love, joy, peace. So people sometimes, you know, I do try to talk to people who oppose what we believe, whether that's LGBTQ community or whomever it might be, just the more liberal progressive folks. And people, Christian people will say to me, it's so good of you to be able to do that. I said, all I'm saying is I can read the Word. Is that kind of your thing?

I mean, you came up with this great idea. Well, you're reading the Word and it said take care of the orphans. Yeah, and this is where I am. You mentioned how can we do this when you got to do this and you got to do this, you got to have this, you got to have the others.

My biological son was born with severe brain damage and he's about 42 years old now and he's still at home with me. But what God did for us, he taught us what patient is all about. And this is one of the key aspects that you got to have as patient. James 1.27 is that we need to really focus on, take care of the widows and the orphans. This is what God, the Bible said that that's what true religion is all about, that we do this. But I think that for the most part, we have not done do benevolent to James 1.27.

I think we kind of swept that under the rug a little bit and looking at it from a different perspective. And we're looking at all the things what we can't do. But the word can't is not in the Bible, but the word can is in the Bible. If we're going to do this thing, the Bible said I can do all, all things through Christ Jesus. So becoming a child, a God and doing what you can't do. I believe that the Spirit and the power of God will give you the anointing to do whatever you will need to do when it come to these children.

This stuff is over with. It's time now for the church to rise up and take this by force. This is what God wants us to do. We've been playing this thing too long, but now it's time for us to put action in our walk. And I mean, God said, I think that what James also said, don't be a talker, but be a walker. It's time now for us to be some doers of the word. I'm going to lead that job.

Preacher in the house. I mean, that's exactly right. And the point is, it doesn't take a lot of mental gymnastics to do it. I mean, you see it. It's not easy, though, Sharon.

I need to. It's the right call. But you know what? Because everybody is not called to be a foster parent or an adoptive parent. There are other families who are called to do other things like support, provide supportive services to wrap around families who are fostering or who are adopting. I want every person for you to ask God, God, how would you use my family? And if you're calling my family to step in to be a foster family, let the church support that family with other families.

And what does it take? You've done this for years, you know, families who are flexible, who are open, who are honest, who are teachable, who can laugh with themselves, you know, at themselves and be supportive of another child, that they have hope that they are believers in what the word says, that God can do all things right, that I can do all things to Christ who strengthens me. And so for those families who step in, let them step in with all vigor and action. Let them not lay back and wait. Let them get in the action right now, because there are kids in your community, in your county who need you today. And being successful in this space, if there are five families that will help you, you know, do the laundry once a week or go shopping for you, that indicates success for that family. Boy, families need families who will love them and support them through the process. And whether they help to cook or clean, come and provide tutoring, mentoring for that child, who come and just sit with you when you're having a hard day, you know, when you say, oh, the kids are outside playing, but I need some adult conversation for us to talk me off the edge, off the ledge.

And so I was like, yes, I need to exhale and so I can get back in there. Families need to be regulated so that when kids are escalating, that they don't escalate in emotion with the children. They stay regulated so that they can help that child get their emotions back under control. And they can stay in the fray and help that child get through their life of being abused and having been neglected. And they can become the people that God wants them to be.

That's the bottom line. Rebecca, right at the end here, your story of adoption, what happened and when did that take place? Yeah, so in 2013, we finally stepped in and I think God just convicted us of, you know, it's time to step in. You're never going to feel completely ready. And so we were able to adopt a sibling set.

Ariana was seven and Aidan was three when we adopted them. And it's been, you know, it's been a challenging journey. But I think it would have been so much easier had we had a church wrapping around us and supporting us the way that, you know, they did at Bennett Chapel.

But it's also been the most beautiful thing that we've done. And it, you know, I think we were talking about it in the beginning of really, it really just exposed my heart. You know, it showed me my own weaknesses and it showed me what I needed to deal with. It's like God was putting a spotlight on my own heart and saying, this is actually about you changing.

You know, I think the first couple of years I was focused on trying to get my kids to change and how do I fix them and how, you know. And God was like, no, no, I'm looking at you and your heart and I want your heart. And that process was painful, you know, to see your weaknesses, to be exposed, your cracks. You think you're doing it for them. And then God says, I'm actually doing this for you.

And you realize your need for the church and your need for him and his mercy. That's the bottom line. But John, you and Dina adopted.

We did. Yeah, that was a foreign adoption, not quite the same thing. But our son had gone through some trauma in an orphanage over there. And so I'm identifying, I wish I had your wisdom, Bishop, because there's a real, it's just hard sometimes.

These kids bring so many different things. They're just equipped to manipulate. That's just survival, as you said earlier.

Yeah, it's so true. Sharon, ending with you then, wait no more here, focus on the family. So people are going, OK, what do I do? It is kind of a difficult process to get started. What should a person do if we've tapped their heart? They're saying, I don't know if I would do an adoption, but I might do foster. I might help a family who is fostering and kind of come alongside them.

What do people do? We want people to contact us at Wait No More. And they can do that by going to our website, waitnomore.org, waitnomore.org.

And you say, why go there? Because we have free content. We have free videos, free articles. We have a host of information from a biblical worldview. We want to inform and educate and guide people through the process of becoming a foster parent or becoming an adoptive parent or being the hands and feet of God and providing those wraparound services. And when people go, well, I don't know what I can do.

And I said, well, you know what? How about if we start with prayer? How about if we go to the scripture and we let those scriptures speak to you? And as the scripture speaks to you and you begin to have questions, we're here to talk with you.

And we're here to pray with you. And we can help direct you to resources in your own community. Where are those organizations that you can be connected to that will guide you through going through an orientation, going to that first sets of training? Because, yes, you have to be trained to become a foster parent. Oh, taking of getting your physical and explaining why it's important that you get a physical. Oh, and let's not forget that background check, because we want to make sure that you're not running from the police, that they're not looking for you. And so, yes, there is going to be a fingerprint background check and all the other many things about getting your house ready, getting your family ready and getting those who are going to be your tribe, who are going to be those five or six couples who are going to be there with you through thick and thin.

Get them in the beginning, not the end. Not in the moment of desperation. No, no, no.

No, that's really good. And they can find that at focusonthefamily.com. It'll direct them to the Wait No More website or directly at the Wait No More website.

John, you'll do all that. Lastly, something we do through Wait No More, and this is something I experienced as a foster kid when I was nine. You know, usually it's all very quick what happens.

A parent dies, court rules that the parent has to be separated, and you end up moving to a place. There's no suitcase, and we end up in hefty bags. I mean, we saw that with the kids that came to our house, always. It was a hefty bag of clothing, a garbage bag, and that's something that was sparked here.

We started doing a suitcase ministry where we would give a suitcase, a children's Bible, and a teddy bear. That's correct. And I think you're at 38,000 now? We're almost at 38,000 and counting. So that's pretty big.

And we want to keep that going. How much is it to sponsor that? $100. $100 does that, a suitcase, a Bible, and a teddy bear for those foster kids. And it's not just any suitcase, Jim.

It is a 30-inch duffel bag on wheels that has pockets. And we were so blessed to be able to get to Bennett Chapel. Sure did.

Praise the Lord. Suitcase bundles for kids who are in his community. So the point is you can participate that way, too.

There's lots of ways to get engaged. Let's show these kids and those adults that are loving on them that we're with them in this. And the movie, Rebecca, again? Yes. To see the movie, it's coming nationwide to theaters through Angel Studios on July 4th.

It's going to be in over 2,000 screens. And the title is? Yes.

It's Sound of Hope, The Story of Possum Trot. Excellent. So take your church.

Go see it. Thank you all for being with us. This is excellent. Bishop Martin, thank you for the witness, the testimony, the example you have been. And those in your church, please thank them on behalf of everybody here at Focus.

So good. Rebecca, thanks for doing the film and showing that it starts with you and you've adopted. And Sharon Ford, thanks for all that you do here at Focus. We so love you and appreciate you for that. Thank you.

It's my pleasure to serve. Well, we've covered so much on this show today. And again, stop by the website.

We have all the resources there. We mentioned the book earlier, Small Town, Big Miracle, How Love Came to the Least of These. It really captures the story of how Bishop Martin and Bennett Chappell came to step in and help these kids. Get a copy of the book from us today when you make a donation of any amount to the ministry of Focus on the Family. Sustain us. Help us do this kind of ministry day in, day out. Make a difference when you donate. And we'll say thanks by sending the book. Our number 800, the letter A in the word family. And you'll find all the resources we've mentioned of the book, the film, Wait No More at our website.

And the links are in the show notes. We'll plan to join us tomorrow. We'll hear from Pastor Alistair Begg sharing valuable advice for singles of any age. We need to look for a wife who possesses beauty that is deeper than the skin.

A wise fellow looks for a woman who possesses a natural radiance rather than a glow that comes from a bottle. On behalf of the entire team, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family. I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ. We'll see you next time.