October 11, 2021 6:00 am
In a discussion based on her book "The 21-Day Financial Fast," Michelle Singletary offers expert guidance for managing your money wisely so that you'll experience financial freedom and peace. (Part 1 of 2)
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You know, I think initially they have to have a plan. So I would say get an index card.
It sounds so simple. Get an index card and write down your number one financial goal. Doesn't matter if you have enough money or you even think you're gonna have enough.
Just write down that goal. It could be to pay off my house before I retire or to send my kids to college or to save enough for one month's emergency. And then write down a card and let that be the beginning of saving for you. Michelle Singletary is a personal finance columnist for The Washington Post and she has a good word of advice for the person who's living paycheck to paycheck.
Well it sounds kind of simple doesn't it? Michelle Singletary has some great insights for you even if you think I can't get there. She'll offer ways you can on today's episode of Focus on the Family.
Your host is Focus president and author Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller and Jim for so many families and so many individuals it can sure feel like the money comes in and the money goes right back out. Well it does especially with inflation. Sometimes I'm shocked when I'm paying the bills. Car insurance, medical bills, gas bills. The costs just go on and on right? And those things keep going up. It's hard to keep up with it and whether you have a lot of money or a little it's a huge point of stress.
Conflicts about money are one of the top contributors to marital strife and maybe we'll uncover what's behind that stress today. And as I said Michelle Singletary writes for The Washington Post. She's written a number of books including the 21-Day Financial Fast and we do have copies of that here at the ministry. The details are in the episode notes. Let's go ahead and jump into the conversation with Michelle on today's episode of Focus on the Family. Well Michelle let me welcome you to Focus. Oh thank you. I'm so honored.
Oh my goodness I'm so happy. It's kind of you know you're working full time at The Washington Post creating that column to help people with their money issues. What's something that you see in that position working with a broad spectrum of people? What do they say is causing them heartache? I think two major things their inability to save and in the debt load and it's just weighing so heavily on folks that they don't see a way out and they just they do they just throw their hands up because they they can't save enough and then they can't save enough because they have so much debt. Now are you and I I mean this sincerely are you saying that when you look at a hundred and thirty dollar energy bill per month and you're looking at a couple hundred dollars on auto insurance and you're trying to pay your rent which varies around the country I get that but even here in Colorado Springs I mean you're paying maybe fourteen hundred to rent an apartment those are big expenses.
It is. How do you get ahead when you're again barely making it I mean it's like you're bringing in three thousand a month and you're spending three thousand a month on those essentials. Right you know I actually want to use an analogy at our church we have all to call every Sunday and lots of people sit there and they say to themselves I'm not ready to go I'm not good enough to go and and they they delay it and it's the same thing with your money people think I just can't do it and absolutely the bills are high the rent is high energy is high but you can't wait till you're ready to do it just like you can't wait ready to accept Christ so you have to just leap out there and what does that mean it means making different choices it may mean that you can't live in that apartment by yourself it may mean that your kid can't go out of state for college they have to go in state and maybe they can't even stay on campus so you have to know that you've got to make better choices just like when you choose six step Christ you've got to make better choices but you don't come perfect and it's the same thing with your money and I have to remove that from people that I can't spare it you got to get rid of that I can't spare it or you won't be able to do it. Do you think it's fair to say that people live in categories I hate to say that but when you're you know just making enough to pay the bills and then there's those that have a little more discretionary income and they're making perhaps poor choices and then even you know it's so funny when you talk to financial experts and I'm sure you're right in there as a financial expert you talk to people that make what seems like quite a bit of money maybe six figures hundred thousand maybe hundred fifty thousand they seem to be struggling too.
Yeah everybody's struggling. How does that happen I know somebody making $50,000 a year would look at somebody making a hundred and fifty thousand they'd say if I had that I would be fine but you talk to those that haven't they're going we're squeezed right how does that because the more you make the more you spend and if you remember all of us when we started out at our first job we thought oh my goodness this is no money and then as soon as you start making more money what did you start doing you elevated your standard of living so that you started to live up to what you make you know I was raised by my grandmother and we're called Big Mama. Say that again because there's a story there. Big Mama. I was raised by my grandmother we call Big Mama it's the funny thing is she wasn't a big woman at all. But big in your eyes. But big in my eyes and she made minimum wage and she took in five of us there was five grandchildren she took in and I was one of the five and she made what we would consider I mean she lived below the poverty line and yet my grandmother was able to save and pay off her cars early and when she retired her home was paid off and so when I look at her and I think oh she could do it now mind you she didn't do it back in the 40s my grandmother you know passed away in the early 90s so we're not talking when you know bread was a you know five cents and I just look at her as the example because she never elevated herself up to where her salary was and so you could be making $20,000 and still find something to save you can be making $200,000 and you absolutely should be finding something to save and I work with people at all income levels and it does astound me that people making six figures have less than people I know making twenty or thirty thousand dollars when some of those big decisions they make you know ends up costing them a lot because they're buying bigger houses bigger cars and that trap you know if something falls apart like their job they're really in trouble I do want to push you a little bit Michelle with Big Mama I love that this is so fun in your book the 21-day financial fast you reference though kind of the residue of living and growing up in Big Mama's house because she was very thrifty yeah and it made you if I'm saying it correctly fearful of spending and being poor talk about that and how you manage that right you know I always describe my grandmother is a cross between a drill sergeant and a guardian angel and so the drill sergeant in her taught me how to handle money amazingly so I said my grandmother could hold a penny and make Lincoln scream drill sergeant captures it yes and you know the guardian angel part of her was she shall we down on me though however was to be afraid she was even though she was a great money manager she was always afraid of something happening and when you live at that level losing your job is devastating because you know you don't she has savings but maybe not enough to raise five grandchildren and so she did instill in me a fear fear spending and so even though I made as I made more money I you cannot grip money out of my hands I mean I just I hate spending in fact I tell people this and they're shocked my husband is the family CFO because if it was left up to me to pay anything we would not we would be running around buck naked I'm being completely honest I'm really tight and I had to learn because I know that there's some folks out there who are good stewards over their money I had to learn that it's okay to spend if you have all your financial ducks in a row which I do it's okay that when it comes time for your 15 year old car you know even though it still runs that it's okay to get another car and guess what you can actually even get a new car you know it's okay to buy new shoes that's good I'm feeling good about my oh five highland which is what I drive every day I got five more years out of that thing so you know we all have yokes to break and that's why that's one of these is why I wrote the book and my yoke was fear you know I always had this sort of bag lady syndrome that I didn't have as a bag lady now I'm the product of Big Mama I would never be that woman but I was almost fearful so for me I had to learn to be okay with the wealth that I've accumulated through the grace of God and so that's my yoke now other folks have different yokes and some people only think oh that's a great you know problem to have but you don't want to be miserly and I'm not miserly um but I always fight against that and so that's the thing that I challenge myself to make sure and my husband are very generous and we tithe and and so forth but you know when I first started time then it was just like and I do and so that's what I've been struggling with and I still struggle I'm better I'm better well let me ask you this before I do we are gonna get there to the 21 day I want to talk about that but you know when you're coming from really tight resources that was my mom she was a single parent mom after she and my dad divorced we lived in some bad neighborhoods I went to third grade in Compton my point in saying all that though is just whether you're coming from a poor white community a poor african-american community a poor Latino community it doesn't race doesn't matter I experienced it these things these principles are important to embrace but talk about that distinction sometimes we feel the load is too much and we look for reasons as to why and maybe opportunity isn't quite the same for everybody I don't mind talking about that too but talk about just the idea of the poor and what we need to be thinking about you know I'm glad you asked that question because whenever I speak there's always someone who will stand up you know in a way of challenging me well you know there's a lot of poor people so how can you tell them to save when they don't have any money well what would you say I should tell them as an alternative because no matter what you earn you've got to figure out a way to live within that means now I have different messages where I try to help them get a better education and better skill building and I always think about it like Paul you know Paul said I have learned to live when I don't have a lot and when I have a lot and that message resonates whether you are poor or wealthy and that's the message I try to give out to folks listen I know what it's like to be poor I know what it's like to actually be hungry and so I know what they're going through I went through it I was raised with it but I also know that I had a grandmother who had a minimum wage job five grandchildren she did not take welfare and still was able to save and feed us that maybe we didn't have enough for seconds so you had to hover over your food okay somebody cuz I'm a very slow eater and so you know you didn't hover over your food someone's gonna slip your chicken off your plate I know that so I know so we had enough maybe not you know an abundance but she always had food on our table and clothes on our backs maybe we didn't have two pairs of shoes but we had a pair of shoes so I know where you're coming from and now that I'm living better I don't talk from the advantage of someone who grew up with a silver spoon right and so it's so funny because whenever I talk to people it's like I'm like the poster child for every possible demographic there is I'm african-american I'm woman I'm married I grew up poor I'm wealthy now you know my son has autism so I know what it's like to live with a disability I had a disability I had to you know help my grandmother in her later years she was dying I've been a caretaker because my brother had my one of my brothers had epilepsy so I had to take care of him both physically and financially when I graduated from college my grandmother turned over the care of him to me and and I had to take care of him until he passed away his early 30s from a massive seizure so I cross every possible you know demographic and so I I completely understand where everyone sits and so I think the message has to be both personal responsibility but also compassion right and and while they are helping themselves we need to put things in place to help them and then I speak to middle income and upper income and wealthy because you know if you're wealthy you need to to be giving back I mean there's lots of families in this country who are doing well for themselves but I use the example of Joseph not Jesus's father but Joseph from Genesis who saved you know and I always thought of that story as a financial story people think of it as you know living your dream and following God's I it's a financial story because if he had not saved during the time of plenty his father wouldn't have told his brothers hey they've got extra stuff up there in Egypt why don't you go get it cuz we're solving back here had they not done that had he not saved during a time when he had it they wouldn't have come they wouldn't have been reunited and we wouldn't have had the Joseph story yeah and so that's what I tell those families listen you've got enough for yourself but you ought to have more you need to say for just not just for your family but your extended family for your community and for the world I I love that I mean you that right there you just said so much that is worth talking more deeply about we do get this out of balance don't we we tend to lean one direction or the other direction and then it creates political battles when it doesn't really need to be there I like that idea of maintaining generosity while teaching self-control and responsibility and those things Michelle Singletary our guest today I'm focused on the family with her book the 21-day financial fast I think we've set it up now let's talk about it where did you connect with this idea about fasting and applying it to your money Wow well at my church and I belong to First Baptist Church of Glen Arden Maryland in the pastors John K Jenkins senior wonderful pastor and so a lot of the ministries that our church at the beginning of the year do the Daniel fast and for those who are not familiar with the Daniel fast you basically fast from meats and sweets and artificial anything and it's just fruits and vegetables it's just a healthy way and then doing the fast you're looking to God you're praying you kind of recentering yourself and you're getting rid of yolks and things that you have things that tug on your life that you should get rid of so whatever year we do it the good of the year about halfway through I was I'll be honest I'm struggling how long do you go it's 21 days and I needed some meat and I was thinking about how much I was thinking about food and how much I was thinking you know what this is really healthier and I'm okay even though I was joking about you know and it's a balance right and that once I came off the fast I wanted to be sure to keep the focus on vegetables and healthy eating and doing it I thought I wonder if I could do something similar with people in their money what if I had them fast from unnecessary spending and credit and plastic so that you completely shut it down because when you shut something down you start to really sort of think about what you've been doing with your life in one case it's food but in the other case money you know so when you're not because we are always unconsciously thinking about spending and not even realizing it which is our conscious means and so we're you know going out and get a coffee or getting a bun or getting chips or you know whatever it is and we're running taking our kids to stuff and so we don't think the pack the stuff so that they healthy we're just going to fast food cuz we're on a rush and we can't think about money and what this is costing us and so for 21 days you get shut down from all of that now people sort of joke you know do I pay my rent and stuff no that's crazy right I'm gonna invent a fast way you don't pay your bills you pay your rent your mortgage your cell phone and everything what you don't do is no unnecessary spending and even grocery stores because lots of people have issues they overspend at the grocery store and so you have to have a tight grocery budget and you can only use cash because the thing about cash because people think you know debit is sort of the new cash people think but a debit card is not the same as cash because here's the thing there's studies that show that when you use plastic debit or credit you spend more than if you had cash so if you had to go to the grocery store most of us take multiple runs during a week and all those runs mostly to fill you know milk and vegetables right that's what we say so we go in we just need a gallon of milk and some eggs and some veggies don't forget that ice cream and well very product so you go in with like three things on your list you come out with 20 things on your list and have you only had $20 you could only buy those three things but because you have a debit card because you have a credit card you can overspend and so I want you to get acquainted with limitations and so the fastest to shut it down limitations limitations limitations and so and then credit obviously to get you starting thinking about debt and people think oh it's easy I could do that for 21 days about day three I start getting emails from people like you are crazy I can't you know because we just we just spend so much and we don't prioritize our spending and I have people talk about how you know one woman said day three she stopped smoking because she realized how much she was spending on cigarettes which is a normal see expensive habit I mean people were saying I didn't realize how much I was spending eating out for lunch now here's the thing most financial experts will say you know cut out the expensive coffee cut out this because you'll save millions which is really the math doesn't work I don't tell you any of that because here's the difference with me you decide what is important for your budget and if getting that expensive nicely brewed coffee in the morning is what you like and it will keep you if you don't mind from slapping your co-workers cuz no definitely get that coffee but here's the thing you can't get the coffee and eat out at your lunch and buy all the clothes and buy the car and send your kids it doesn't you can't do it all even Bill Gates one of the richest men in America could go broke because you've got to cut limits on it so the fast helps you shut when you shut down everything when it comes time to reboot you have now figured out what really matters to you hey I really like that coffee but you know what I can make my lunch that's what the fast has some trade-offs and man you are going and I want to go I got it no it's good cuz I want to take you back to something you said my mind is right there with limiting the amount of cash you take to the grocery store I think is what you're implying I'd never thought about that cuz I just you know guys and women to purses and wallets we have plastic we got even cash we've got in there but if I said to myself I just need these four things and then take just that amount of cash roughly kind of calculate it four bucks for milk whatever else and just put that much cash and don't spend the credit card that does give you the discipline absolutely that's exactly what I'm talking about and when I say cash people freak out what do you mean I gotta walk around with thousand dollars seriously wait that's how we think these days no you take out just enough that you need for that day or that week and you only take that and the thing is we've got to get rid of this I mean think about it now they have set up credit and plastic debit so it's so easy that you don't remember I mean I'm kind of dating myself remember how they had to pull out the machine and I had to put the card in it now you can walk past machines with your keys and pay for stuff flash the card we can flash our phones and pay something and it's not done without thought because they have people who study how to reduce the amount of time it takes for you to pay for stuff so if it's really quick you're not making that calculation in your mind hey this is kind of expensive if we had to pay cash for our cars most of us would be driving for focus for focus is they're relatively cheap relatively cheap because if you had to lay out all that money you know like just take big screen TVs you know you could get a big screen TV for 2,000 maybe a nice one 3,000 if you had to go to the store and hand out those hundred dollar bills probably about $500 you be thinking I don't really need this TV and I'm not saying don't get the big screen TV I'm just saying we need to think about how much we are spending before we spend it let me ask you this then with the 20 30-somethings is this more of a problem because they're more inclined to use technology to pay their bills sometimes my kids will laugh at me that I'm writing a check you don't have to write a check we had that the other day we went to deposit a check at the bank and Jean said it was one of those young women talking to an older woman moment and she's going you know you can just take a photo of that check and deposit it straight to us with a photo from your house and jeans like I felt like I was so most people do it now but that does prove the point there's so much technology 20 30-somethings or so into it does it reduce their ability to say now are you seeing more of a need for financial counseling within that community than perhaps an older community that did it the old-fashioned way you know honestly no I see financial literacy and inability to handle money from people who are 15 to people who are 100 I mean I learned maybe out of 90 I think it's the oldest I've actually helped counsel no I think it's not the age it's our society and so I see young folks who are good with their money I see you young folks who are not good with their money I see middle-aged folks who are awful with their money and who are good with their money I'm seeing it across the board and my challenge is to get rid of those messages that they have to overspend well what I'd like to do is come back next time you talk about an acronym pay and I want to start next time with that but tell us now what pay means so what I try to do is build in things to help people doing the fast and so you want to start out by praying about what you want because oftentimes we think we want something and we really aren't doing what it takes to get that and so I you know every beginning cuz you read one chapter a day and so at the beginning of each day in each chapter I want you to pray and ask what is God's will for your life when it comes to your finances and then act at the end of every chapter every day there's an assignment that I give you because you know sometimes it's Christian sometimes you know we go oh the Lord gonna make away well you know he's gonna make a way if you help him I mean I like though when they talk about the whole armor of God when it says when you've done all that you can right then you stand see people forget that first part when you've done all that you can then you stand cuz God's good he's got your back but there's some things that you have to do and so you've got to act so for example I think day seven when I talk about budgeting you actually have to do a budget you know you actually have to say you know province it talks about the ants and how they work all year round to store up by the grasshopper everybody's having a good old times on summer day like you know look when it's gonna come we got to make sure we have store same thing so you got to pray you have to act and then yield because what is God asking you to do and here's the thing about that yielding because lots of times when I go to forums people talk about entrepreneurship for example is it everybody should be an entrepreneur I believe in entrepreneurship but not for everybody because maybe God's will is for you to be a teacher maybe God's wills for you to be a bus driver maybe God's wills for you to be a counselor and so you've got to figure out where you're supposed to be and then you handle your money accordingly for example my daughter wants to be a teacher she wants to be in education so what's the first thing people say when someone wants to be a teacher how can you afford to do right but you know what the people who made the biggest difference in my life were educators so I am NOT going to discourage my child from being an educator because she may not earn six figures what I'm gonna do is teach my child to pray to act and to yield and so that she will have enough money for what she was to do in life so that's what pay is all about it's good Michelle Singletary author of the book the 21-day financial fast let's pick it up next time I've got some more hopefully hard questions for you and can you stick with us I sure can all right let's do it what a fun engaging conversation with Michelle Singletary and I do hope you've been inspired by her idea of a 21-day financial fast to get your money situation in order get a copy of that book by Michelle and follow the outline on how to do that you'll find the daily challenges and general prompts are a great roadmap for saving and getting out of debt and making your financial goals a reality get your copy of that book the 21-day financial fast we've got the details in the episode notes and Michelle talked about generosity and the importance of giving to your local church and other important organizations I trust focus on the family is one of those organizations that you consider worthy of your support every day we come into work ready to come alongside millions of folks worldwide like you who are looking for biblical trusted advice and we need your help to continue in that mission I'll invite you today to make a difference in the lives of others by joining our support team and you can donate today when you call 800 a family 800 2 3 2 6 4 5 9 or we'll have the link in the episode notes and when you contribute a gift of any amount today we'll send a copy of the 21-day financial fast as our way of saying thanks for being a part of the team on behalf of Jim Dilly and the entire focus on the family staff thanks for joining us today I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ man I knew my marriage was falling apart I just didn't know how to fix it I felt like I would always be alone even if I stayed married at focus on the family's hope restored marriage intensive we offer hope to couples in crisis so they can have the marriage they've always dreamed of for the first time I felt like my husband truly heard me I've received some great tools from the counselors that have changed my life and my marriage to begin the journey of finding health go to hope restored calm today
Whisper: medium.en / 2023-08-12 10:42:51 / 2023-08-12 10:54:11 / 11