Praying With Honest Abandon

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In the garden of get Simone pressed between what he wanted and what his father wanted, Jesus praise. If you're willing, God take this cup from me yet not my will, put your speed down.

Well, many of us are familiar with that prayer that Jesus spoke and the night before his crucifixion. But what does that mean for us today? You'll find out from our guest, Lisa Morgan. This is John Folarin. Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family with Jim Daly.

John, Alyssa Morgan visited our campus last summer with a message on prayer for our staff and now seems like a great time to share it with our listeners. Alyssa was named by Christianity Today as one of the top 50 women influencing the culture. And she was the CEO of Mops International for 20 years. Alyssa is a blogger and podcast her, and she's authored more than 25 books, including When We Pray Like Jesus.

And we do have copies of that book here at Focus on the Family. And if you'd like a copy, call 800, the letter A in the word family.

Here now, Elisa Morgan. On today's episode of Focus on the.

Heidi. So good to be here. Someone Thursday afternoon, I was heading out for a two week ministry trip in Australia and I had to go through L.A. and landed and had a long, like five hour layover. And so I bided the time, chatting it up with my husband, Evan, and he was to have accompanied me. But an unexpected surgery on his ankle meant that he needed to stay home because that long flight wasn't good for things like blood clots and stuff, you know? So I'm chatting with him and then I board the plane and I take off from Melbourne and I land like I know, 4000 million hours later. And I carefully take my phone and I turn on all of those little things that he had turned off for me so I wouldn't incur data roaming charges. And my phone blows up with these texts and voicemails from my husband. He goes, give me a little call and I'm going to give you an update on my leg. So I pull my giant roller board that has two weeks worth of clothes over to the side of the arrivals hall in the airport. And I speed dial my husband and he goes, hey, how was your flight? I'm like, fine, what's going on? He goes, I had a little bump here. I'm I'm in ICU.

But I had just left the man healthy and whole and joyful and doing just fine.

I'm in. I see you. He tells me he's got 103 fever and his leg has blown up with his crazy, life threatening blood infection in a matter of hours. My heart hits the floor of this linoleum hall and then I just reach up for God. Now, I've got to confess that I'm not exactly a prayer warrior material. I mean, I'm not like the poster child on the National Day of Prayer. They don't have at least the right there. I don't want to say I didn't grow up in a house of prayer, you know, a house where prayers are uttered over meals or before you go to school in the morning or before you go to bed or at all anywhere out loud, ever. That was my house. Now, I did go to church as a child. My single mom dropped off my sister and I at church. She was so super smart because she would get to have two hours of uninterrupted mommy time alone up. She was brilliant. So I knew about God and I loved God, but I wouldn't call myself a prayer warrior. Yeah, I've been a seminarian. Yeah.

You know, I have done lots of studies on prayer, but I've got to say, I've got a lot of prayer problems.

I've wondered if there isn't maybe a deeper issue going on in my heart about prayer, because you see, on the one hand, I long to pray. Absolutely honest before God. This is what's going on in me and tell him every single one of my thoughts and needs.

I long to lean honest with him.

But on the other hand, I think to myself, can I really be that honest with God or am I going to get zapped here? If I really am that honest, shouldn't I instead be more godly and lean all the way towards what do you want, God? So I find myself kind of tug of ward between this is what I want God, an honest kind of a prayer and.

But what do you want, God, a more yielded, abandoned kind of prayer. I think you probably relate. What kind of prayer problems do you have?

Likely you've got a child you're struggling about or a spouse situation. Maybe it's a coworker. Maybe it's maybe it's something that's that's to do with your pay. Or maybe it's something to do with her country and you're you're just burdened by it. What kind of prayer problems do you have today? Right now. Right. This very second.

I want to invite you to identify it and bring it forward in your heart right now and consider this prayer problem as we're considering what it might be like to pray like Jesus. Keep it front of mind.

When I reached out to God in Australia, I found myself glomming onto a certain scripture that I had been reading in my regular time. That's what happens often when we hit a crisis, isn't it? Something we've been studying comes full to life in application time for us, right? And I had been reading the prayer that Jesus had prayed in the deepest hours of his life on this planet. It's in that moment a kind of a two sided prayer coin was forged. And I'm going to read it. This is from Luke, Chapter 22. And when I pick it up in verse thirty nine, Luke, chapter 22, it's really familiar. But listen to this. Jesus went out, as usual to the Mount of Olives and his disciples followed him on reaching the place. He said to them, Pray that you will not fall into temptation. And he withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed. Father.

If you were willing, take this cup from me yet not my will, but yours be done.

An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him, and being in anguish he prayed more earnestly. In his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. Deep, sincere prayer. It is the wee hours of the morning, probably around one o'clock. After a long day of Passover celebration and summary teachings that were offered over a meal, Judas, the betrayer, is already slinked out to do his deed. And now the remaining eleven trudged with Jesus from the upper room through the city of Jerusalem across the Kidron Valley east to finally where they end up in Gethsemani, their destination. And Jesus asked these followers to follow, to watch and pray against what is coming next. Repeatedly invites them first. He starts with the eleven, and then he singles out Peter, James and John to be with him while he prays and he gives these specific words. These words swirl in a kind of a brew it with the thoughts of all the religious leaders and the Roman authorities that the disciples have been taking in.

And with their stomachs full and their heads tired, they dip and they doze. And Jesus is left alone and in this crucible.

In the garden of get Simone pressed between what he wanted and what his father wanted, Jesus praise.

If you're willing, God take this cup from me yet not my will, but yours be done through.

This prayer is recorded in three of the four gospels. Matthew, Mark, Luke, all share this prayer. And John alludes to it. In all four of the Gospels. There's these two sides of Jesus, two sides of prayer, a prayer coin, a prayer coin.

We think to our souls, wait, you know, Jesus invited his disciples then in the 1st century. But we have these words here in our Bible for us in the 21st century as he invited those disciples.

Is he not also inviting as disciples, you and me are 21st century disciples to join him in this prayer? What might happen if we pray like Jesus? What might be changed inside of us? And so I want to look at both sides of these the prayer coin, both sides that the first side is take this cup yet not my will, but yours be done at these three raw words punctuated by bloody sweat.

Jesus offers them up in a garden.

Is there ever been a more honest prayer? Take this gap. If you translated, it means what I want. God, I like to call this the honest side of prayer. Take this cup. What? I want the honest side of a prayer coin. It's actually kind of startling to see this side of Jesus, isn't it? This kind of splayed out, vulnerable, broken side of Jesus. We picture him all godly all the time, don't we? And he is all godly all the time.

But he is also human. And he shares he rips open his heart to say to God exactly what he wants. How could he say such a thing to the father? How could he how could you apparently choose for himself and apparently against his father with such a prayer? Take this cup. It makes us uncomfortable. We kind of squint and and wince and turn away from this vulnerable Jesus.

The cop that he references is super complex.

Included in the cup is the father allowing Jesus to be hurt with the punishment that sin or waywardness requires. Your sin mind. Our waywardness are pushing away from God in the garden, bent under the weight of the unjust punishment. That's ahead of him. Jesus hurls an honest request, an all out plea before his father, Mark, 14, translated that he was deeply distressed and troubled. Matthew says that he was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of grief and death. And then Luke tells us that he was so, so concerned that his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

Take this cop, as Eugene Peterson translates it in the message. He says, My father, if there is any way, get me out of this.

Yeah, take this cup, it it can mean take away from my life. That thing I don't want this cancer, this loneliness, this abuse, this ridicule, this bullying.

It could also mean give me that thing that I lack. I need finances. God, I need a safe place to live. Lord, I long for a mate. God, please give me honest prayer.

This take this cut prayer unapologetically recognizes our human limitations and boldly requests help for them from the divine. What if we prayed that honestly before our God? The way Jesus prayed. What if we prayed like Jesus? Take this cup. This grief. This rejection. This misunderstanding. This wound. This addiction. This debt. This loneliness.

You took everything to Jesus. That is Lisa Morgan on today's episode of Focus on the Family. And you can get her book When We Pray Like Jesus, when you make a donation of any amount to Focus on the Family. Today you can contribute when you call 800. A family were stopped by Focus on the Family dot com slash broadcast. Let's go ahead and return now to more from Alisa Morgan talking to the Focus on the Family staff.

There's a second side of this prayer coin that Jesus prayed. He also prays.

But not my will.

But yours be done in the same breath, in the same sentence. Jesus prays a seemingly opposite prayer. Take this cup. But not my will.

A prayer of abandon. Not my will. What do you want? God abandon.

What do you want? God, what do you want to do in this given situation?

I'd like that word abandoned because there's a kind of a dual meaning to it. It means a kind of a giving up. But there's also this whole heartedly tumbling into another person's desire. Like when we're abandoned in love, Jesus abandons himself to what the father might want. But let's pass there and realize Jesus is not offering a lobotomized kind of submission in the garden. Jesus turns to the second side of prayer with a remembering of what he knows is true about his father.

Take this cup. I don't want to go through this. God, no, no, no. Into an abandoned.

Can I trust you? We've been together since the beginning of time, which is an even beginning. We've never been apart. I trust you. And I begin to see this kind of cumulative work of prayer that Jesus is expressing as he prays.

What if we prayed this way? What if we prayed this abandon like this?

What do you want, God? What do you want to do there? And not my will that my teenager follow. God, not my will. That my husband adore me and cherish me. Not my will. That my boss decides to keep me on the payroll. Not my will. That my friend apologizes for what she's done. Not my will.

So when my heart hit the floor in Melbourne, in the airport, I'm wrestling between this ping pong of this two sided prayer.

God take this cop yet not my will.

What would it mean for me to pray that right here, God, take this cop. I do not want my husband to be in an ICU in Denver, Colorado, where I am thousands of miles away. Take this cop. I don't want anything else to happen to him. Bad. Take this cop. I don't want to do ministry when I want to be home. I feel completely unplugged from the service of giving. Take this cop bit. What do you want to do here? God, my will rose up strong. I'm just being honest here. And I began to wait for my Australian rep to come pick me up just praying and praying.

And I felt this kind of nudge to flip over to the other side of the prayer. But God, what do you want to do here?

And I sensed in this moment is a has she fell into me?

Alisa, maybe this is about the kids. Maybe I can use this in your kids lives.

And I began to think about our precious kids. They were in their real late 20s, early 30s at that time. Both of them married, one with two kids making their way out of a bunch of challenging years into some somewhat more stable years.

But I realized they had never been the ones in charge for us. We'd always been there for them. And I felt God's nudge. Watch what I can do in your absence, Elisa. Watch. And I pulled myself together for three seconds. It's about as long as I could last. And I decided, Okay, I'll wait. Take this cop, not my will. Jesus prayed both of these sides of prayer. And I began to wonder how did he pray so honest and how did he prayed so abandoned in the same sentence.

And I followed after him and I realized there is a space between these two opposite prayers have take this cup and not my will. A tiny three letter word that's almost easy to miss of yet a conjunction that links opposites, a necessary word that pulls them together and yet holds them apart. While Jesus prayer tarried through the night, likely, he repeatedly prayed this prayer over and over. In fact, we're told and Luke that he he came back three times. There is this space between take this cop and not my will. A pivot of sorts. I picture a gymnast or I think about a basketball player dribbling, stopping, pivoting, turning, aiming, shooting, a pivot, a rotation, a turn. I take this cup yet not my will.

And I begin to think that in that little space between these two opposite sentiments, something is happening in Jesus's heart that motivates him, that clarifies him, that aligns him in a different way in this pivot.

There is this space.

I read in John, I read John recording Jesus, this upper room prayer for his disciples then and his disciples going forward. John 1721, he prays most specifically. May they be one. As you and I are one. And he can model that for us. He can pray that because he is one with a father, intimately so. And he prays it for us because Jesus actually died to provide that kind of intimacy that we too could have it with our God. In Australia, my 48 72 hour crisis of being away from my husband taught me so much as I apply this prayer, I would pull out my eye pad and face time. Evan in ICU every hour we found out. Oh my goodness. It is the flesh eating mersa bacteria that's in his bloodstream. He was minutes away from being absolutely helpless. He caught it as it began to spread. The nurses attended to them. We would chat every single hour. And the beautiful people at our daily bread ministries where I was serving figured out a way to tape my messages so that I could return. After that first initial conference and get home as quickly as possible. But in my absence, my daughter brought her dad blankets in the ICU because at one hundred and three he was shivering and she thought he needed to be warmer. Precious, precious offering. And my son thought he didn't properly want to eat the hospital food. We wanted to cook for him and bring him food. When, of course, he wasn't eating very much. But what they were doing was speaking out of their language of love, stepping forward. The best news of all is I was able to get home.

And you know what I didn't even notice is that because I was flying in the opposite direction, I gained the day which made my distance from him even shorter. Best news of all, Cherry on top is Evan lived.

He's here and he's fine and his leg is intact. The one they thought they were gonna have to amputate is there. And he plays golf on it and he walks on it and he writes his bike on it and he continues to live on it.

So what might happen if we all prayed like Jesus?

What if we dare to enter into this sacred place in scripture again into a prayer that is included in three of our four gospels and mentioned in the fourth? What if we entered it? What if we accepted the invitation that our God gives to join him in this prayer?

Think about trying to it to practice it. And it's a kind of almost like a pattern you look at. Take this cup yet not my will. Take this cop yet. Not my will. Take this cop God that put my teenage child not make horrible decisions today. God, please keep them out of the ditches yet not my will. And as I pray not my will, I'm going God, what do you want to do? And I sense God going well only said. Why are you trying to protect your children from the very things I used to bring you to me.

Can you let me be your God the way you've let me be your God.

What happens? I'm stunned with it. But the more I pray repeatedly to see the depth that's forged, take this cup, not my will. Day after day issue building on issues, struggle, building on struggle, back and forth between honest and abandoned until we're finally freed in a different way.

I asked you to think about a prayer problem you have today, and it's probably still front of mind, although it might have slipped to the back. But those prayer problems usually don't go quiet for very long. Do they? You have a quarter. Grab a quarter it and stick it in your right hand. And maybe George's head is the is the the take this cup side. God, this is what I want. And you pray that prayer problem. This is fruit. I'm lonely and I really want to find a mate. God, please take away my loneliness. Please provide a spouse. And then you put that coin to the tail side. It's going to have a different state on every quarter. OK, and you're going to say, but God not my. Will be yours. Be done.

Wow. Well, I choose to be single the rest of my life. I don't want that God. Back to the take back ups. Back to the right hand. To the left hand. Back and forth. You can physically live out this way.

Jesus prayed. This is what I want. But what do you want?

God, the prayer coin. Practice is not a formula. It's not a magic potion. You know that you poured out in the kingdom. Now you get exactly what you want. You know, not a genie in the bottle. What it is, is a way to express in. Real life, everyday practice, what Jesus did in the garden as he wrestled fully God and fully man with what he knew was ahead of him. And he was absolutely terrified to face. And yet what? He trusted God to pull him through. What better illustration of our way to walk with God.

Would you pray with me? Lord, thank you. Thank you for this illustration of your son spent and splayed in desperation before you. And thank you, because he did allow himself to be spent and splayed. And then pivoted into obedience and abandon even to the point of death on the cross. We can now enjoy a relationship of intimacy and hope, an ongoing relationship with. Would you give us the courage to your God to spend the prayer coin? The coin that you lavishly, lavishly foraged for our benefit in your name? A man.

Author and teacher Elisa Morgan speaking to our staff.

On today's episode of Focus on the Family, I really appreciated Lisa's message. It seems like these days we don't get a lot of instruction on exactly how to pray. And it's such an important part of our Christian faith that regular conversation with God is such a critical element of a believer's toolbox box. And our mission here to focus on the family is to either lead you into a relationship with Jesus Christ or help you strengthen that relationship. And there's nothing more important to us than that. Our heart for evangelism is seen, I hope, throughout this ministry on the daily broadcast, the podcasts through our magazines for adults and for children and through our free streaming service called Focus at Home. And if you haven't signed up for that, I hope you will. Here's one comment we received recently. The videos for children on focus at home have made a big difference in my six year old daughter's life. She actually told me, Mom, I don't have to be scared anymore. I can just pray instead. I was amazed. Thank you, Focus, for sharing such an incredible video library with us. God bless you all. That is a Dorothy comment.

Just think of the impact in that one child's life, and it's an impact throughout that free service that we've started to provide thanks to our donors who fund these efforts.

That's true. And think of that being multiplied tens of thousands of times with other kids and adults. And we want to thank our donors for blessing the efforts here at Focus. That's how it gets done. And if you can make a donation today, we'd like to send you a copy of Elisa's book When We Pray Like Jesus. And remember, when you get it from us here, Focus on the Family, you are helping do ministry. We use the proceeds from that to help keep marriages together, help save a baby's life. So order through Focus on the Family today.

Yeah. And unlike most booksellers, we're gonna be happy to send Lisa's book to you when you contribute a gift of any amount to Focus on the Family, that's going to be our way of saying thanks for joining us and helping families around the world thrive, thriving Christ. Our number is 800 a family, 800, two, three, two, six, four, five, nine. Or you can donate online and to get that book when we pray like Jesus. We've got the links in the episode notes. And by the way, we've enhanced our daily broadcast app so you can now take Focus on the Family with you wherever you go and have access not just to this broadcast, but all of our podcasts, other radio programs as well. And all of the great content that you expect from Focus on the Family. Check it out.

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