I came in and I'm, you know, at this point, just a couple of weeks away from delivery, and just heard the words that I never thought I would hear. which were just I'm sorry. And, um Just had a moment. um to acknowledge what he was telling me. that there was no heartbeat.
And that Our baby had died. Susan was devastated, but we reminded her of God's unfailing love. And so Focus on the Family really was monumentally instrumental in teaching me this truth and healing me. And the resource of Focus on the Family was teaching me to grieve with hope. I'm Jim Daly.
We need your help now to deliver hope and joy to hurting people like Susan. Give before December 31st and your gift will be doubled. Donate at focusonthefamily.com/slash family. I get anxious when I'm going into a situation that I feel like I am not prepared for. What really stresses me out are awkward silences, especially when you're dealing with your boss or something like that.
Sometimes I just don't know what to say.
Something that makes me feel stressed is when I feel like I have a lot of things to do and not enough time to get it done. I get really anxious when things feel out of control or I feel like people are perceiving me wrong. Hmm.
Well, there are so many things in this world that can cause us to be anxious, and I'm sure you could add your own anxiety-inducing circumstances to that list. Today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, we're going to help you confront your anxiety and get moving in a positive direction so you can have hope and healing. Thanks for joining us. I'm John Fuller. John, being anxious is part of being human, also living in a world that is riddled with sin.
You know, we are in a fallen state and we have different degrees of anxiety.
Some people struggle with this more than others, and we want to talk about it to help those who are truly struggling. We know the Bible tells us to be anxious for nothing, which often just adds weight to the anxious people. They get anxious now about being anxious. But it's easy to hear that, but sometimes very difficult to put it into practice. For the next couple of days, we'll be hearing from our dear friend, the late Dr.
Greg Jance, about managing anxiety, especially if you or a loved one is struggling with it. And I think this discussion will give you great tools to identify anxiety. And help you know how to turn to the Lord and other resources for help. Yeah, and this was our top focus on the family show of the year.
So clearly, there are a lot of people who are feeling anxious and seeking help.
Well, since we first aired this program, we were saddened to hear the news that Dr. Jance passed away in a tragic accident this past summer. Certainly, our prayers continue for his wife, LaFon, and their two sons. LaFon told us that she and others are continuing with Greg's work at the center, which he founded, and we will also pray that many more people will continue to find hope and healing there. Dr.
Jance founded the Center, a place of hope, located in Edmonds, Washington, and it really is a renowned center for treating anxiety and depression. He poured much of his life into his work as a mental health expert, and really, Dr. Jance was a pioneer in holistic care.
Now, he wrote a terrific book on this topic called The Anxiety Reset: A Life-Changing Approach to Overcoming Fear, Stress, Worry, Panic Attacks, OCD, and More. We've got the book here at the ministry, and you'll find the link in the show notes. Here now is our Best of 2025 broadcast featuring Dr. Gregory Jance on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I want to say, just to begin with, there's hope for anxiety.
And this is affecting large numbers of folks.
Well, let's hit that. It's one in five adults and one in four teenagers are suffering from anxiety. And likely higher. We live in a culture of great fear. Every day we wake up and there's something else to be afraid of.
Lots of fear, lots of anxiety. What's happening in the culture that's creating that kind of increase in anxiety?
Well, Jim, we have a lot of unknowns. People wake up, they don't know, they don't know what to believe, they don't know what's true, what's not, and so we're seeing that since post-pandemic, Anxiety has become the number one diagnosis in our country. Wow, that's amazing, but it's true. For those that may not experience it, let's describe it so people can get a handle on it. What does anxiety look like, and how is it different from depression?
Sure.
Well, or worry. Or worry. Worry, think of worry as it's our thoughts, it's the cognitions. Worry is a mental process. I may have worried this morning.
Did I wear the right clothes? Did I say the right thing? We worry, and it's something we do to ourselves.
Okay. But anxiety takes on a life of its own. anxiety Has a physical side to it. You feel it in your gut usually, and then it's like, where do you feel all that fear? And it's my whole body eventually.
So we know that fear gets a stronghold in our life.
So anxiety always has a physical component. Could be a headache, could be sleep disturbances. Anxiety could be you feel it in your gut, your appetite seems off. You wake up during the night and you feel like you're wide awake, but you've just woken up, it feels like a panic attack. That's anxiety.
Okay. You wake up in the morning and there's something kind of free-floating that seems to follow you around and you can't seem to shake it off. That's anxiety.
Now, you and your wife, LaFon. LaFon's here in the studio today. Hey, LaFon, good to see you. She's out in the gallery. You did experience some turbulence in your life with a cancer diagnosis, and it really gave you some.
Insight into that anxiety issue. What happened? And I'll just add, all of us will have some anxiety at some time and maybe multiple times in our life. If you've been given a medical diagnosis, that can create some anxiety. You have a loved one, in my case, Lafon, a cancer diagnosis.
And so the first thing that happens is all the unknowns. What's going to happen? And we go to an immediate fear response.
So, in our situation, my anxiety was very real. I didn't know where this is going to go. We have two young boys. Ultimately, you know, mom doesn't look so good. She's going through treatments, and you have your kids asking you, is mom okay?
Is mom going to live? And so those kinds of things add to the anxiety. And you both walked through that together. But it was sleepless nights and other things that you describe in the book. Absolutely.
It's like a shockwave to the norm. I want you to know I've walked through anxiety. And of course, we run a facility where we're working with people that come with anxiety. I see the reality of it. I know how paralyzing it can be.
And I know that people can try, go, I've tried so many different things. I still have this anxiety. Has God forgotten me? Hmm.
So, those are very real questions. And people are going to wonder: how's LaFon?
So, tie a blow on that story. We don't want to end. How's LaFon?
Well, she's here today. She's with us today. And she's well. And she's an example of what it's like for all of us as a family to walk through unknowns, to walk through anxiety, to have those. sleepless nights, to have all those questions that come up.
What's going to happen to my loved one?
So you say in the Anxiety Reset, your book, that some anxiety can be good. Sure.
Now, people with anxiety are going, Are you crazy? What do you mean by good anxiety?
Well, there can be a motivating anxiety. I need to take care of something. Anxiety could be a signal that, oh. I need to address some things in my life. I'm not sleeping well, my appetite's off, I don't want to be with people, I want to isolate.
Well, that's all a sign. What is it I need to address?
So, anxiety can be communicating to you a need to address something.
Now, I don't want it to get so intense that you can't think straight. 'Cause you know, anxiety takes all that blood flow from our brain the way God designed us, and it goes the blood goes in the back of that primitive part of the brain. And you know, we have something and I'm pointing here in my forehead because we have our Executive function. This is where we're supposed to make good decisions, but if you're filled with anxiety, you can't think. And so This is why we've got to look at this and go, okay, this affects the whole person.
Yeah. You know, there's, and maybe again, clinically you can help me, but there seems to be degrees of anxiety. Yes.
Some people can be so riddled with anxiety that they're actually frozen. They can't make decisions like you just said. Right. They can't take that initial step. And I think sometimes we, as believers particularly, that don't experience that in the same way are trying to say the right thing, but we're probably adding...
A lot of weight to them.
So just describe that awareness that we need to have to say, come on, you can do it. It's just this. And what that sounds like to somebody with deep anxiety. And somebody with deep anxiety, I believe they would have. Done whatever they need because nobody wants to live anxiety.
So the word grace comes to mind, and we want to believe in that person that has anxiety.
Okay, look at this from the whole person. There's going to be solutions, there are missing pieces to the puzzle. We're going to pray for great wisdom, but there are missing pieces to the puzzle.
So they need us to come alongside them versus judge them real heavily. Right. And, you know, it's hard to live with somebody with anxiety. or even depression, it's hard to know what to say because you really do love them. You really do want to help.
And if you have a teenager that's got anxiety and you're seeing this in your kids, that can be very challenging. Right. And again, some things that you might say actually add weight to it rather than relieve it. Like, come on, you can do this. And it's out of good intention.
Yeah. Greg, let me insert this because we have many listeners and they have different theologies. You know, we all believe in Jesus, but then we have a lot of tributary rivers from that point. But for the people that may struggle with the idea that some... Medicine can help somebody with anxiety.
Well, you know, if the Lord is really in you and you love Him and He loves you, I don't see why you would need medication. I am not proposing that. I'm just saying some people may have that attitude. Just set the record straight about how physiology, pharmaceutical, and the Lord all can work together to help somebody. Oh, and it all needs to work together.
And that's why we're not going to look for the magic pill, we're going to look at the whole person. Do I need something to help me carry me over that bridge for a short period of time? Do I need that? And is that coming in the form of a medication?
Sometimes I need to change my diet. When you're anxious, you love a lot of sweet food. When you're anxious, you may be doing the 10 cups of coffee a day and that may not be helpful. Is this under the lifestyle rubric that you talk about? Is lifestyle part of that?
Too much coffee, too much. What are the lifestyle contributors to anxiety?
Well, if you're living a life that's been chronic stress.
Okay, you've had a lot of worry. There's been a lot of stress. You will develop at some point some anxiety because your body's going to cry out. Your body's going to say, I've had enough. What are those signs though?
Because again, for the layperson who hasn't earned their PhD, what does that look like? Just so I can be self-aware. Maybe I'm thinking I might have anxiety, but I don't know. And that makes me anxious. Yeah, that makes me anxious.
But what are those things we should be looking for? And we do want to be, I'm so glad you mentioned that because we want to be careful. We're not just putting a label on us. You know, oh, I have anxiety disorder. That's why I'm this way.
No, I don't want you to do that. You may be struggling with anxiety. Let's come up with a plan that's going to help you with that and get you through that.
Okay, some of the signs that I may be really struggling.
Well, you're going to probably eventually see it in your sleep. Sleep's not going to feel restful. I thought that was age. Wait. I got, okay, tick that box.
As you get older, you may take or sleep a little bit less. It seems like that's my pattern. I don't know about you guys. But we're talking about a disruptive sleep. We're talking about a sleep that doesn't feel restful when you wake up, and you wake up with that.
Sense of burden, something's in your gut, you feel something, it's hard to label what it is. People with anxiety may have headaches, they may have aches and pains, they have a hard time focusing. Things that were easy for you before, now with anxiety, it's like I can't even concentrate. You go, I'm trying to read the Bible, but I'm reading that same verse or chapter over and over, and I can't even remember what I just read.
So that's anxiety. Family conflicts, doing the normal routines of life, paying the bills, are those things that, if they give us too much anxiousness, is that a sign that maybe we have some anxiety?
Well, if I have an exaggerated response, I become hyper-vigilant. Things that normally I could just handle those, now I feel like I can't handle anything.
So you're going to have a lot of self-doubt.
Okay, I've got self-doubt. And here's something I really want to speak to: you may end up feeling unlovable. It's like I just don't feel People really love me. I don't feel appreciated. I don't feel God loves me.
So you can have that sense of just feeling anxiety lies to you. Anxiety tells you things about yourself that is not true. That's why we say fear can get a stronghold, a spiritual stronghold in a person's life. It will lie to you. That's powerful.
So keep that in mind. Greg, we've had Dr. Chang here, and he wrote a book called The Anxiety Opportunity. Yes.
His thesis was. You know, Western medicine, we tend to want to take a pill and get rid of it, or find ways to get rid of it. And his realization is. You are going to be able to moderate it, to minimize it. But people with anxiety, The expectation there needs to be how to manage it.
And I believe we can go from managing to, okay, Lord God, give me the wisdom to know what needs to be addressed in my life. If I've had significant trauma or emotional abuse and I have things in my life that really are unresolved. Um that could be Following me and creating anxiety. And so I want to look at what's the root causes of this. We mentioned lifestyle can be one.
Yeah, that was my next question. Yes.
I'm going to.
So, in that context, again, I just want to provide people with a perspective on what it means to live with anxiety. And I like that idea of minimizing it. But if your expectation is eliminating it, that may be. Um a really difficult task for people with anxiety.
Well, you'll find that you have, with God's help, power over that anxiety. Anxiety. Yeah. That's fair. That's a good point.
Let's move to those root problems when you're taking a look at it. And just so folks know, we're going to spend a couple of days with Dr. Jan.
So we're not going to get all tucked into that because there's more to talk about. But for day one here, what are some of those root causes of anxiety?
Well, I mentioned trauma, early childhood trauma. And this is difficult to talk about, but there could have been significant abuse. There could be betrayal. There could have been maybe your family moved a lot. You never really anchored in and had close friends.
And so there was a lot of uncertainty in your life. Trauma comes in different forms. You know what's interesting with that, and I don't know, John, if you've had this experience, but so often, if you don't struggle with anxiety and you have a family member or a friend who does, and you hear those situations, some are obvious, like someone who was abused physically, sexually, whatever. your heart goes out and you're instantly connected to that and there's got to be a lot of healing for that person. But somebody that moved around a lot, you start going, well, okay, that seems pretty light.
But we have to be equally as intense about that experience that they had because we're not living it with them. And maybe they feel like they never had a friend. Or relationships never lasted.
So we don't know all the connecting factors to that description, is my point. And for us to be sensitive about that, you had a story in the book about Diane. I'm sure that's not her real name, but it was a patient of yours, and she's given you permission, obviously, to use this. But what was Diane's story with trauma? Yes, Diane was an executive at a very large software company, and she worked in the legal department.
There's a little bit of stress. Right there, right? And she also had two kids. And her husband also had a career where he was traveling a lot. And what happened was, you know, it's just managing the schedule.
How do you manage the kids and the schedule? And the quote, executive stress got to be too much. I think her mom is also suffering. Her mom had Alzheimer's. It's like everything was folding in on her, right?
Around her. And it was probably her felt that she had to carry it all.
So, and she was up to a certain point. But then we begin to break down. Yeah. Couldn't sleep. She would describe situations where during the night, wake up 2 or 3 in the morning and Everything's on her mind.
Her mind is racing. She's trying to solve work-related problems in the legal department. And she's got the kids, and things are not going well with the kids. She has one teenager who's particularly acting out.
So it's pretty complex. And of course she wakes up in the night and her husband happens to be on a trip. And it just reached a breaking point. And what did that look like for her?
So for her, her breaking point was she even had panic attacks.
So her body was crying out. You know, by the way, a panic attack is a form of anxiety.
So it's the person, after a while, their body says, I've had enough, and the body's gonna respond. and you're going to have it feels like you're dying, but you're going to have a panic attack.
So there's a physical reason for that.
So her body, there was the physical responses to this.
So you know what she wanted to do? She wanted to isolate, run away, and never come back.
Sounds rational. That's what anxiety does. Yeah. But in the end, what was her? In the end, she sought help.
but we had to begin to create a more realistic schedule. She had to learn what it what's self-care really look like? How do I really take care of myself? And she had to get family support. She had to get others involved in her life.
And, you know, ultimately it did involve the husband.
Some marital counseling, coming up a different plan to manage our lives. And that's so good, and that's part of the process. And why we want to encourage people to get a copy of your book as a starter, but then to engage with good Christian counseling that can help. Particularly the believers, to be able to live a life that's empowered. And can get away from that.
And I can tell you, I've seen some really difficult situations, and Jim, you can live a different life.
Well, that's also hopeful that people can get there. Yes.
And that's important. Greg, let me ask this as well. We've talked a lot about the science of anxiety, but what are some of the ways that Jesus speaks to us in the scripture about anxiety?
Well, we hear, and what the first thing that comes to our mind is, is the word, two words, fear not. Right. Okay, there's a lot of scriptures around fear.
Okay, I use 2 Timothy 1:7 as my foundation when I'm dealing with anxiety. And that says, for the Lord did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, anxiety. And I like this, a sound mind.
Okay, so what we're doing when we're dealing with anxiety, we're working on building that sound mind. How do we build it with the whole person? I got to look at my life spiritually. I got to look at my, do I have a relationship in my life that's creating a lot of anxiety? You know, look, I need to look at everything.
Do I have some really poor lifestyle issues that's creating anxiety? Do I have a secret addiction? Am I so anxious that I'm drinking alcohol every night in order to deal with anxiety? Then I'm creating more anxiety.
So this requires a whole person assessment. That's good. Let me ask you this. Anxiety will affect nearly every part, as you're saying, of a person's life. Yes.
What are some of those common areas where anxiety diminishes our well-being? I mean, you've mentioned that like with alcohol, but. Again, it's kind of an assessment. Sure.
Well, it will, you'll want to escape from people, so you'll also probably want to do escapism behaviors. You get home at night and you go. I deserve that ice cream. And you sit down and have that half gallon of ice cream. Is that a problem?
Only if it's everyone's problem.
So you get into patterns where we look for comfort. Isolation.
So, yeah. And I can also choose digital social media. over real people.
So it's a coping skill.
So I'm looking for comfort. Yeah. But most of the things we choose create more discomfort. and in the end create more anxiety. But we were looking for that relief.
Yeah. Well, and that's another good sign if you're snagged by anxiety and you're isolating yourself, you're gaming. I mean, in abundance. I just need to look at what am I doing and have an honest conversation with yourself. What am I doing that could be contributing to more anxiety?
Yeah, that's so good. Let's wrap up here. We'll pick up next time, like we talked about. But some of those practical steps again, some people are just coming in the last half of this program. What are some of those practical steps to heal?
A person that is suffering with anxiety. Practical steps.
Well, one of the practical steps that we can do is, and I love three by five cards. Can I show you something? Yes, okay. You got them in your pocket. I got them in my pocket.
It's always good. Evidence. Because a three by five card.
Okay. Here's a blank one.
So, um. Is I need you to write down what are all the issues that's creating anxiety for me. Just write it down. But I sent a three by five card because I don't want you to write a legal pad full. Right.
Okay, just the top. Maybe it's top eight or ten things that are creating anxiety. Write them down.
Okay. I could interest, but some of those I need other people to help me with.
Okay, is it work related? And then look at the predominant emotions. Am I carrying around a lot of anger, frustration? Is that a big issue? Because I'm probably gonna have some anxiety.
Right. So, but I want you to be honest. This is creating awareness. Yeah. Next is action.
Yeah. So, and the action may come, okay, I'm not making good decisions. I need to get some help. And being honest, I need to get some help with this. I was going to say, and not to cut you off, but I'm thinking of the person who might call here, Folks on the Family.
And we want to encourage people to call. We've got free counseling that you can take advantage of. And do take advantage of. That's an awesome opportunity. Then we can refer you to a pre-qualified counselor in your area.
We have, I think, about 1,500 counselors on our referral list.
So it's a good mechanism to get help.
So don't hold back. Get a hold of us. And John will give those details in a moment. But I'm thinking of that person when you mention the word anger. I've heard this more than a dozen times from people.
You know, I really do struggle with anger. But, you know, it's kind of how God made me. It's just I don't have a dose of patience. Sure.
You can't stay there. You can't stay there because that goes to unforgiveness and that goes to resentment and bitterness. Yeah, that's like a person who's unwilling to work toward the fruit of the Spirit. You know, that's how God made me. I don't really have a lot of patience.
Right. It's not a restaurant menu. I mean, these are things that you need to be growing. And here's what we know: that anger, maybe another word for anger could be hurt. It's going to make you really toxic.
You're going to feel emotionally toxic and you're going to be toxic to all the people around you.
So one of the areas we always look at with anxiety is, are there any areas of unforgiveness in your life? Boy, that's another good idea. That's a big one. Yeah. Okay.
Write that down on a 3x5. Yes.
Do I need to look at bitterness and resentment in my life? That's going to create anxiety. Yeah. Wow. This is so good.
Dr. Gregory Jance, this is the start. This is day one, but we're going to come back and have another day with you to talk about your great book, The Anxiety Reset. And I'm looking forward to it. Thanks so much for being here today.
It's so good to be with you. Our top show of the year with the late Dr. Gregory Jance. What a great conversation. Yeah, and if this discussion has struck a chord with you and you're thinking, I need this, or I know somebody who needs this, get a hold of us.
If you can make a gift of any amount, we'll send you the book, The Anxiety Reset, as our way of saying thank you for being part of the ministry. When you give to focus on the family, you're also providing hope and joy to friends and families who rely on us. Yeah, donate today as you can, and that really helps us provide those counseling services that Jim mentioned. Our number is 800, the letter A and the word family. 800-232-6459.
Or donate when you click the link in the show notes. Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we share part two of this excellent conversation with Dr. Gregory Jantz. and once more, help you and your family thrive in Christ.
Jesus Christ is the ultimate source of truth. As we celebrate his birth this Christmas, I hope you'll be inspired to share God's truth with grace and love. Become better equipped by listening to my podcast, Refocus with Jim Daly from Focus on the Family. Every episode, I talk to fascinating guests about important cultural issues and how we can reach people for Christ and share his joy. Listen at refocus with JimDaily.com or wherever you get your podcasts.
