God is at work and He's calling His people to rise in truth. Truth Rising is a powerful new documentary from Focus on the Family and the Coulson Center. See how ordinary Christians choose courage in a culture that needs. truth. Watch Truth Rising today and find out how you can become an agent of restoration and hope.
Visit TruthRising.com today. That's TruthRising.com.
So, why are you burdened? With something that you can lay at the feet of God.
Now, having said that, the burden may come back. But you do it repeatedly until you say my past no longer has authority over me. I have a new future. I'm turning a brand new chapter. And I am on a new path.
That's Dr. Erwin Lutzer sharing about God's desire for you to live free from past regrets and heartache and to experience healing through Christ. Dr. Lutzer is our guest today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, and I'm John Fuller. John, our counseling department at Focus receives tens of thousands of calls every year from people who are hurting.
Many are suffering because of something beyond their control, and others are living in some kind of despair because of past decisions that they've made, and it just keeps coming back to their heart and to their emotions. And whatever started that sin pattern, it might be greed or broken relationships or sexual immorality, whatever it might be, they just can't get out of that loop. And you may feel stuck in that kind of hamster wheel. And we are going to talk about how God can set you free. And that's why I'm excited today with one of our favorite guests.
Yeah, every time we have Dr. Erwin Lutzer here, there's a great response. He's pastor emeritus of the Moody Church in Chicago, served there as senior pastor for 36 years, and he's written a Number of books. He's a best-selling author. Today we're going to be covering some of the content in the book called Putting Your Past Behind You: Finding Hope for Life's Deepest Hurts.
And you can learn more about Dr. Lutzer in this book at our website. The link is in the show notes. Dr. Lutzer, welcome back to Focus on the Family.
So glad to be with you again, Jim. And I just thank God so much for your ministry and the number of people who listen. And I want to certainly, as you have already done, invite everyone to listen carefully. Because I believe that as we deal with issues regarding their past, They will be blessed and hopefully they'll be given some road maps. As they think about the future.
Yeah, I so appreciate that. You know, we typically, a lot of the content, about 75% of the programs we do are related to marriage and parenting, but we also concentrate on the foundation of it all, which is your relationship with Christ. And that's our evangelism discipleship area.
So you hit that squarely every time you're on. Many, many thousands, hundreds of thousands of people listen, and I'm grateful for that because that shows people's interest in getting their heart right with the Lord, which is so important.
So it's a privilege to have you with us as well. You've been a pastor for a long time. One of the things, I have a number of pastor friends. My brother was a pastor. We have a mutual friend, Pastor Matt Hurd.
One of the things that I noticed with Pastoral experience. The older you get being a pastor, it seems like you understand humanity better and better. You start with this intensity about right and wrong, which is good, but then over time, seasoned pastors seem to be really good at helping a person who has regrets begin to heal.
So, I guess the question I have for you is the The fact that regret is so widespread, and then speak to a pastoral heart in helping pull that person out of the well of regret into freedom. Jim, since you raise the issue of age, I should be well qualified to be the kind of person who understands humanity. And you know, I think that what you said is absolutely right. The older I get, the more accepting I am of people who have struggles, the more I recognize the brokenness of humanity. There's no question about it.
And so to me, as I think about our topic to day, putting your past behind you, You've already hinted at it, but there are two different problems that people face. first of all what others have done to them. and then what they have done to themselves. And the reason I'm excited about this program is because We really can't get on with the next chapter of our lives if we live constantly in the last chapter. And what we want to do is to help people to turn that page and to say that there's a future for me.
As a matter of fact, I would say that as long as you're alive, and that's one of the requirements to listen to our program. As long as you're alive. God still has a future for you. It's so true. And you, in the book, it's meat.
I mean, there's so much good stuff in there for every Christian and non-Christian to read about. But you say there's really two main reasons people remain stuck in their past: secrecy and hostility. Speak to that.
Well, of course, oftentimes what you find is people have a certain persona in public. but really they are hurting on the inside. and secrecy takes place because they don't want to know what's inside. And one of the reasons that I think it's so important for people to recognize that you really can't live with all this secrecy, Until it is exposed to someone who's able to help you, you expose it first of all to God. and then to others.
And what I find is that there are so many people On the one hand, if I can think of it in terms of circles, on the one circle publicly They may be Sunday school teachers, they may be people who are involved in church even. But on the other hand... They have a secret life, and that secret life eats at them like termites. and eventually they become so desperate they wonder what they should do. And unfortunately, oftentimes they turn to alcoholism and drugs.
And what we want to say to them today is that there's hope in God. and in the provision of Jesus Christ. That is so strong and so right. Speaking of those escapes, if we want to call them that, or those life preservers that God throws us, what does God provide for people who are in that spot of Perilous sin, if I could say it that way, it's crippling emotionally because they know. they've done something that they feel shamed about.
Well, the good news is this. That there's no sin that anyone has ever committed that God cannot forgive. And I would say to those who are hurting out there, if you are really going through a lot of regret and a lot of guilt, you are really a candidate for God's grace. Because remember this, grace isn't sweet. Until sin is bitter.
And if you're experiencing sin and it is bitter, You're a good candidate for God's grace. Trevor Burrus: You mentioned that two important ingredients for that escape route are honesty and humility. You know, when you look at the world, I mean, look culturally, it feels like from a Christian vantage point, when you look at The strife that we have in the culture in homes between parents and maybe teens or young adults. There is this recurring theme in my mind. It's like we're back at the garden saying, We know better than God what to do for our own lives.
And you see that in the streets. I mean, you see this in universities and attitudes. It's human beings just behaving like they are in charge of their destiny with no acknowledgment that perhaps. They're created in God's image for his purposes. And of course that's the great sin of every culture.
is man substituting himself for God. It just keeps coming back. It just keeps coming back. And of course, that was exactly what the serpent said to Eve, right? you shall be like God, knowing good and evil.
And ever since that time, man has been putting himself in God's place. And I want to say this to people. Your problems cannot just be handled by you. You need God to come into your life and do for you what you can't do. And so often people get advice, and the advice itself might not be bad.
But the problem is it doesn't have the strength To lift people out of the pit, so to speak. And the good news is this. When we talk about the pit, if I might use that illustration, that people have fallen into. Jesus doesn't just throw us a life preserver and say, hang on. Jesus comes into the pit.
He lifts us up. He does for us what we can't do ourselves. And as a result, people are finally given hope. But Jesus comes and says, I'm here not only to help you. but to forgive you.
And imagine this, Jim, this This thrills me every time I think about it. Jesus has the ability to take a sinner and present him to the Father as if he has done nothing wrong, as if he's perfect. on the basis of Christ's merit.
So to all those who are out there hurting, Hopeless. There's hope. In the gospel, And that hope is not only a spiritual kind of hope, but actually results in life change. I want to read what you wrote. I'm sorry to do that.
It's always awkward for someone to read to an author what they've written, but it fits right here. You said, We must invite God to search us. And you wrote, Because God knows us intimately, we must ask Him to open our eyes. He is the only one who can truly reveal us. to ourselves as we truly are.
Wow. Yes, let me say it backwards. Wow Yeah. I mean, it's powerful. We are blind to our own faults.
Just last week, I was speaking to a woman who was abused by her father and her stepfather. And she said this that when she confronted her father, because she had run away, and he said, Why did you run away? And she began to confront him. It was as if he was unaware of the abuse that he had heaped upon her. And here's the point.
And C.S. Lewis, I'm paraphrasing something that he said. If you disobey your conscience long enough. It will eventually become blind.
So what we're talking about is people not able to see their own sin, and see their own faults. And that's why I think that what I wrote there actually is based on Psalm 139, you know, where David said, Search me, O God, and know my heart. This is fascinating. Psalm 139 begins by saying, O Lord, thou hast searched me. And then he ends by saying, search me.
What he's saying is, God, I know you searched me, you know all about me, but now show me what you see. That's where honesty comes in. And that's actually the beginning point of finding our way out of our predicament. Dr. Lutzer, it seems that the most important Map.
for us as human beings to in denial and finding healing. are so critical, but what are they?
Well, what we have to do is what we've already emphasized: namely, ask God to search us.
so that we more accurately see what our issues are. We have to stop the blame game. And what we have to do is to make sure that we are as honest before God as we can be. And that's painful. It's difficult for us to really admit who we are.
And then we have to say, as David did, Search me and know me. and lead me in the everlasting path.
So what we have to do then is say, Lord, in light of who I am, and in light of the secrets that are destroying me, Where do I go next?
Well, of course, you confess your sin to God. You come to Him and you receive the grace of God. The Bible says that you can be washed. Imagine that, Jim People with a guilty conscience they can be washed. and they can be sanctified.
And then what you do is You have to say to yourself, now I have to make things right in my life. And I have to be willing to confess. You know, if there's a secret sin that is destroying your marriage, it's going to have to be dealt with. I suggest you do that in the presence of a counselor. But at the same time, you cannot keep hiding.
And so what you do is you're desperate enough to say, I need help. As an example of that, you mentioned in the book a story about a man who carried around Tremendous guilt for encouraging his girlfriend to have an abortion. Share more about that and how he found peace. Here's what happens, okay? And actually, I've talked to women who have the very same experience.
I remember talking to a woman who said that the minute she goes into a store and she sees a child like a little girl who's three years old, that's how old her little girl would have been if she hadn't aborted her.
So how do we deal with that? The Bible says in 1 John, Chapter 1, verse 9. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us. If she's a believer in Jesus Christ and confessed that sin, she has forgiveness. But what she needs is cleansing.
Cleansing has to do with the washing of the conscience in such a way. That You see it. it may come to mind, but it no longer controls you. because you've been accepted by God and now you see that as part of your past, But it's not the controlling reality of your life anymore, because there's a new chapter that God is writing in your life. You know, I would think that the loop...
of that Tape can play over and over again, whatever the sin might be. And you might have gone to the Lord and confessed that sin to somebody, and certainly to the Lord. But It's a recurring sense of guilt. How do we get beyond? And well, I guess the better way to ask this is: how do we fully embrace that God has taken that?
Away. Jim, I don't think that that happens just in a moment of time. You know, you mentioned the word loop. That's a good way to describe it, where it comes back. but it loses its force and it is no longer your identity.
You no longer say, as you think about your past, all that you think about is the abortion that you had. you now recognize God's forgiveness. You know that there are attacks that are coming from the enemy. At the same time, you continue to stand firm in the promises of God and you insist. that you be forgiven, but also washed.
so that the power of these memories no longer overtake you. Dr. Lutzer, talk a little bit more about that forgiveness and what prevents us from embracing that, because it seems that a lot of people get stuck right there. forgiveness is being willing to give up A debt. That means that you lay it down, you no longer insist that someone has to ask forgiveness, because that might not be possible.
The person who abused you may already be dead. I have illustrations like that.
So what you do is you give up that debt, And you say, I am no longer going to carry the resentment. You know, the Bible says in the book of Hebrews. that we should watch, because there may be a root of bitterness by which many be defiled. To everyone listening. You are bitter, whatever you don't forgive, you pass on.
So if you want, I want to use this illustration. Let's suppose that you have fifty pounds that you carry around your neck. And these fifty pounds hold you back, This sack is such a burden, but you continue to carry it. Forgiveness is saying, I'm willing to lay it down. It is not minimizing the offense.
nor is it giving up justice. I remember a woman came to me and said, you know, my husband's run off and he's left me with the kids and all this. Where's justice? Where's justice? And you know what I did?
John. I turn to first Peter chapter two, verse twenty three. Jesus, who when he was reviled, reviled not again, he uttered no threats, but kept entrusting himself. on to him who Who judges righteously?
So don't give up your quest for justice, but the Bible says avenge not yourselves. I will repay, says the LORD. Providentially, as I've already mentioned, I talked to a woman last week who was abused. And she said this, that when you exercise vengeance against the person who wronged you, it does not bring healing. And yet, today there are many people out there who think that if I can just exercise vengeance, if I can just Get even.
Well, you can do that, you can try to do that. but it does not heal your heart. What heals the heart. is to totally forgive and no longer insist That matter has to be resolved. Of course, if it can be resolved in some way, you do it.
But there are so many situations where that can't happen. where your abuser doesn't admit to the abuse, where the family is broken up, where all of these events happen that you cannot go back and rectify, Lay it down. Let me give you an illustration. All of us remember Cori 10 Boom. You remember she was in Auschwitz in a concentration camp.
So here she is in America, she's speaking, and a man comes to her, And she recognizes him. as one of the guards in Auschwitz. This man comes to her and says, I am now a Christian. Would you shake my hand? I want to read a sentence, because she does shake his hand, but this is what she says.
She felt nothing toward him, obviously. You know, I mean you were my abuser, but From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him. while into my heart sprang a love for the stranger, that almost overwhelmed me. And I say to everyone who's listening. Take that first step, Lay it down.
You don't have to feel like forgiving. You choose to forgive. And what you'll discover is that fifty-pound weight that you've been carrying around. Will leave you. And remember this: carrying the weight does not rectify the situation, it does not get even with your abuser.
So, why are you burdened? with something that you can lay at the feet of God.
Now having said that, the burden may come back. But you do it repeatedly until you say, my past no longer has authority over me. I have a new future. I'm turning a brand new chapter. and I am on a new path.
And that's why we use the phrase, as Christians, set free in Christ. That's exactly the point. Exactly.
Sometimes people don't understand the language that we're using, but that's it. Let me ask you this: what's our best defense against Satan's attacks and influence? And let me just, if you would, some Christians are very uneasy with spiritual discussions like that, the spiritual battle, because they think that's a little. Ghostly, I guess, or a little beyond the pale of intellectualism. But Satan exists.
The scripture is clear. Evil exists because of Satan, and then you have the battle. between Satan and God. Jim, in order to go into that in detail, you'll have to have me back sometime. I mean, those are deep waters, but this is reality.
Absolutely. When does Satan accuse us during the day and during the night? And here's the important thing. Satan accuses us of sin that has already been forgiven. Many people can't tell the difference between the accusations of the devil and the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
So the devil comes to them Accusing them of sins that have been forgiven, and they think it's the Holy Spirit, and they never achieve freedom. What we must understand is that once we have been forgiven by God and the sin has been confessed, The blood of Jesus Christ, God's Son, cleanses us from all sin.
Now, what does Satan want to do? He wants to tell us why you're not really forgiven, And when he says that, In effect, It is really saying that the blood of Jesus Christ is not good enough. to cleanse you from sin.
So Satan's desire is always to undercut the work of Jesus Christ. And how does He come to us? He comes to us often not with words, though that might happen too, but with feelings. You know, you look at the Old Testament and you see illustrations of it, New Testament. What we find is that Satan loves to try to undo God's salvation by telling us we aren't really forgiven.
Mm. Right at the end here, the prayer life that we should have. We'll end on this. Let's come back next time. We'll keep talking about this great book, Putting Your Past Behind You.
Millions of people should get the copy of this, right? But right at the end, what is that prayer life? Look like that, we should have with the Lord, recognizing He covers the past, He covers our mistakes, our sins, and then how do we pray forward? What we have to do is, first of all, we can give to God our need, we can make certain requests, but at the end of the day, Jim. What we have to do in our prayer life is to submit to God.
And you know, you began this program by talking about my age. It's fairly accurate. Fairly accurate, yeah. The older I get, the more time I spend just worshiping God and thanking Him. And if that can become a part of our prayer from that thanksgiving and from that worship, Everything else flows.
It means that I'm yielded to God. I'm seeing God in places where I never saw Him before. And so our prayer life. is not so much about the requests as it is about the relationship. Why should we even pray if God knows our need?
Jesus answers that. He says God knows your need, and then what does he do? He gives them the Lord's Prayer. that becomes a model prayer. The purpose of prayer is not to inform God.
It's not even intended to twist his arm. it is for us to align ourselves with God and relationship Is really the heart of it. Wow, that's so key. Relationship with the Lord. That's why we were created.
The word says we are created for relationship with Him. Dr. Lutzer, this has been terrific. Like I said, let's stick with it and come back and talk about forgiveness and healing and all the things that are so important. And I can only imagine for the listener, for the YouTube viewer, maybe this has sparked something in your heart where you're saying, I have struggled to forgive myself.
I've asked God for that forgiveness, but it doesn't feel complete. If you would like to talk for free to a caring Christian counselor here at Focus on the Family, Call the 800 number. We will set that time up for you to have that consultation. And that's because donors are able to give to the degree we can do this. Absolutely.
And we want to make sure you get a copy of Dr. Lutzer's great book, Putting Your Past Behind You. It's probably one of the best resources to help you with healing from past hurts and sins. Get a hold of us, make a donation of any amount, and we'll send that book to you for participating in ministry with Focus on the Family. And this week only, through September 30th, we're offering a special opportunity.
I don't know who cooked this up, John. It may have been you, the coffee lover. But when you commit to a monthly gift at $30 or more, just a dollar a day, you'll join our Friends of Focus on the Family monthly partner program and be able to provide the resources here at Focus, like the counseling team and so much more. Those monthly donations help make it possible to do all the ministry here at Focus. Right.
And the special opportunity that we're going to be able to do. We might have cooked up on the team is that we have a limited amount of mugs that we can send out. The folks focus on the family with Jim Daly Blue Travel Tumblr, and we've got four ounces of our coffee that we drink pretty large quantities of. How often do people say to us on the road, you know, I sit down and I drink a cup of coffee and listen to Focus on the Family? I mean, that is a large number of people.
So now we'll make it even easier for you to do that. We'd love to put this mug and coffee into your hands. And again, it's a limited time opportunity for you to sign up and be a friend of Focus on the Family with that $30 a month pledge.
So reach out for counseling or donate and get the book. Our number is 800, the letter A in the word family, 800-232-6459, or click the links in the show notes. Thanks so much for listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ. God is at work and He's calling His people to rise in truth.
Truth Rising is a powerful new documentary from Focus on the Family and the Coulson Center. See how ordinary Christians choose courage in a culture that needs truth. Watch Truth Rising today and find out how you can become an agent of restoration and hope. Visit TruthRising.com today. That's TruthRising.com.
Yeah.
