Love, Deferred

Hey all, on this season of Mr. Stillman's Opus, I'm spending some time interviewing my clients here at Rosewood Wealth Management. Over the years I've had the chance to work with a lot of different people and a lot of them have really interesting stories to tell.

Maybe they have a really neat job, maybe they've accomplished something very impressive, or maybe they've just had things happen to them in life, good or bad, that make for interesting stories. Today I'm talking with Johnny and Mimi Neto as they share their story about how they ended up married to each other for the last 14 years. They first met in the 60s when they were kids in rural Tennessee and dated during their young adult years, but in the late 70s in rural East Tennessee, interracial relationships weren't exactly encouraged.

Oh by the way, Johnny is white, Mimi is not. This is their story about how they parted ways in 1980 and somehow found their way back to each other 26 years later. So let's go back to Tennessee when you guys first met. How did you first meet and where exactly in Tennessee did this all happen? We first met in the Spring City, Tennessee at Sedine Bible Camp. I was 12 and she was 8.

Wow. And I was working the horses. I was a helper with the horses. She was a camper and I helped teach the campers how to ride the horses and I had found that if the campers a lot of times would fall onto me instead of getting on the horse, so I learned that if I would hold their leg right below their knee, that would help them to mount on the horse instead of falling onto me. So anyway, when it came time for her to get on the horse, I grabbed hold of her leg below her knee to self-support, make sure she got on the horse. And she said... Bear in mind, this is 8-year-old Mimi, Sed.

Sed. Right. That is not your leg. Turn loose of my leg. I said, I'm just trying to help you get on the horse.

I don't care what you're doing. You turn loose of my leg. That doesn't belong to you. So that was sort of our initial meeting. Do you corroborate this story? Do you remember it differently or that is how it happened? That is how it happened.

And I see that you remember it all these years later. All right, so how then did the relationship evolve from there? Well basically during those years since we were young, and I was teaching horses and things and she was a camper, she came back and basically the program was like a 6-year program. She was a teenager by the end and she became a Boy Scout. She started more interested in boys, so she stayed up at the camp. I was like, wait a minute, they didn't let girls in Boy Scouts back then. But now I know what you mean.

Right. And so she was up at the camp with the boys. And so I rarely ever saw her. But I was also hanging out with your younger siblings because there was a 4-year age difference between the two of us. And you were just the old fart. And I was having fun with your younger brothers and sisters. And you were there, but you were on staff with the horses and always doing something else. So we didn't really have a relationship. I had a relationship with his sisters and his younger brother more so than with him. So at what age did you say, kind of like this guy? Oh, many years later. I was 18.

I had graduated from high school and my first year in college was in Dallas, Texas. And while I was there, I got a letter from Johnny asking if I would come and work the horse program with him. And I loved horses anyway.

So of course I said yes. So I guess the summer of my 19th year was the summer I went to work at the Dine. And even then I had a boyfriend, though I didn't fancy him at all. He was just this mean crazy boss who had me outside in the hot sun being bitten by horse flies, which draw blood by the way, creosoting a fence, cleaning out the stalls, sewing saddle blankets, helping mend saddles, helping give horses injections, currying horses. It was a lot of work.

And he was a mean taskmaster. And Johnny, when you recruited her to come work at the horse camp, were you really just trying to recruit her to the horse camp or were you trying to recruit her there for other reasons? Well, it was interesting because the camp director, Brother Howard, asked me to send her the letter. And so I said, okay, but I had forgotten who she was.

I didn't remember. And so when she showed up out there, she came down to the camp, down to the horse barn. And she came down with other people as well. But she kept hanging around. So finally at one point I asked her, I said, well, who are you? And she says, what?

You sent me a letter and you asked me to come out here and work with you? And she had her hand on her hip standing there. Who remembers that? She said, and you don't even know my name? So I was like taken back. I said, wow, I got a little feisty one here. So at that point in time I, you know, I said, okay, well, yes, you're right. I don't know your name right at the moment. I can't remember.

So she told me, I realized that I had sent her the letter. So to come to work at the camp as a helper in the horse program. So we But I had a boyfriend at the time, so I was not interested in him. And then when he worked me that hard, I was definitely not interested.

I was not interested. Meanwhile, though, all the girls at camp were interested in him. So they were harassing me. Why are you spending so much time with him? And I was incredulous because it was like, you've got to be kidding me. This man is working me. Like, I'm in a sweat factory over in Vietnam. And you're thinking he's cute.

And we're making out down at the barn. Are you kidding me? Really? So I had no use for these women. And he was used to girls chasing him. And I was not interested. So it took him about two or three years before I It took us a while. I can't remember how long. How did you finally wear her down?

I'm not quite sure how I did that. But I did take well during the time of her working like she would say, I would ask her to do something. And she would say, that's a man's job, man should be doing that. And I said to her, Well, today, then you're gonna have to be a man because today, that's your job. And that's what you have to get. See, he was mean.

So let's see. I worked two summers at the camp. And then I took a job in Tennessee, in Cleveland, Tennessee, working at a children's home. And it was right before that that we started spending a little more time together. The group was large, we would go out as a group of the counselors at the camp.

And after a while, the group got smaller and smaller and smaller as people went off and did their own thing. And then at one point, it was just the two of us. He asked me out for dinner. And I was like, Oh, okay, sure. So we went out for dinner. And then we went back to the camp. And that happened a couple times. And then I thought, No, he couldn't possibly be interested in me.

I mean, there are too many women throwing themselves at him. So no, thank you. But then one night, we were on our way back to the camp. And I'm sitting on the right door. And he's sitting on the left door.

They had the bench seats back then in those vehicles. And this was how he got me. He said, You don't have to sit all the way over there on the door. You can scoot over, you know. And then it hit me.

Oh, my goodness. He likes me. Now what do I do? So I froze. And it seemed like an eternity.

But then I gingerly started scooting across the seat. And that was how we clinched the deal. Next thing we know, we're together. And we're dating. Then you dated for how long until it became apparent this was not going to work. It's about a year, wasn't it?

I think about a year. And at that time, interracial relationships were not sanctioned a whole lot in Tennessee. And there was a lot of opposition, not necessarily from his immediate family. The extended family was like, No, that's not going to happen.

And other people, other adults there as well. Were you getting pushback from your family? Or was it all on Jonathan's side? Not at all. Okay. So what was, I mean, what were the conversations happening in your family? When we were dating, there was opposition to our relationship because of the racial and that manifested itself how like what what did people say to you and what conversations were had? Well, one of the times we were at one of the restaurants we were at one time a guy came up to me and he said to me, did I realize that I was sitting at a table with a black girl? Yes, I think I am aware of that.

But thanks for pointing it out. Well, he also said, Look, she can clean your house, scrub your floors, do your laundry. But you're not supposed to be seen in public with her. And I was taken aback because the last time I looked, it was still a free country and you could go where you wanted. But in the south, a lot of feelings are still present, whether you want to acknowledge it or not.

And they just felt the freedom to say things. The director of the camp was not on board. And he told me, he says, I'll make sure this never happens on my watch. And I was horrified because he was also a believer. And I wanted to tell him, I hate to break this to you, but when you get to heaven, I'm going to be there as well. And we're not going to be segregated.

So please get over yourself. But you didn't say things like that to adults when I was that age. So I kept those thoughts to myself. But I thought it. Also, as I recall, some of his extended family, when they heard about it, they were like, Well, if you marry her, you can't bring her to our house, not as parents, but his extended family. And I was aware of that. But my family's mixed. So I didn't see a problem with it's like, it'll all sort itself out, especially since we're all Christians.

And it did not. And then how did you guys together come to the conclusion that, well, sorry, we're just going to go our separate ways. You know, with that time, they were talking to big things about, you need to be, everybody's going to live to be 70. So I thought, well, hey, I got to live to be 70 while I live 35 years single and 35 years married. So I had more or less in my mind decided I wasn't gonna get married till I was 35. But I never told anybody that. And so, you know, people kept asking me, especially I had a lot of mothers asking me. But he didn't tell me that.

So he worked on me for two years, wore me down, I got rid of my boyfriend. And then I was going to go away to college. And that night, he said, We need to talk. And I was like, Oh, okay, whatever.

And he said, I know you're going off to college. And I think we should see other people. And I just felt like I'd been hit with sledgehammer. I was like, see other people?

What do you mean see other people? He says we should date other people. And I just felt my heart breaking and cracking. And I kept it together.

I walked out, left and never looked back. And did he give you any kind of reason? No, he never said I don't want to get married till I'm 35. Or this is my life plan. He just said, I think we should see other people.

Never got an explanation. So when you say you never looked back, you went to college. I went to Colorado. And I never looked back.

And where from there? After I left college, I got a job as a flight attendant. And through the grapevine, I heard he got married. And the year he got married, I moved to Europe. So you got married to somebody else from that area?

No, I met the girl in North Carolina. And then you had one son? Had a son. Married for how long?

We were married just before John turned five. She came and told me that she was no longer in love with me. She didn't like living with Jesus Christ. So she wanted to get out of this relationship. Meaning you were too religious for her is what she was trying to imply. That's right. Because we all know that I'm not Jesus Christ.

Just wanted to clarify. I wasn't sure what she might have thought. Yeah, I mean, we can verify very much that I'm not Jesus Christ. So anyway, I kept John John and raised him myself. I didn't let him go with her.

So you find out that he's married. This happened quite a few years later. Now you flee to the UK. Yes. You're a flight attendant. You're seeing the world.

Yes. But living in the UK and you were there how long? 13 or 14 years. And I had a great church. Good friends.

Fabulous job. And I'm getting paid to travel all over the world. I lived in Paris for two years. I was in and out of Berlin for about six.

But the UK was my main base. And then I heard through the grapevine that Johnny had had a son. And I had the front up. Great. I'm so happy for him.

That's wonderful. And then a couple of years later, I heard through the grapevine, Johnny's getting a divorce. And I said, no, he would never. Because the grapevine consisted of your family. My sister.

Who's married to his best friend's brother. But I never let on how deeply I was hurt. I just kept that wall up. And when guys would try to date me, I was like, okay, we can be friends, but we can't be more than friends. And I need you to listen to this up front because I'm not playing games. I'm not being coy.

This is really how it is. And after a while, I just thought, why am I doing this? So I quit dating. I had a lot of friends.

So I didn't need a boyfriend. Sort of a timeline was, we met in 65. And then we met again.

We got back together where she worked for me. It's back in 76. She was there at about 79. And then 80, I think, was the last time we saw each other. No, 1986.

Because my parents had moved to North Carolina from St. Louis. I had just started flying, and I came to visit them. And he came over, and we saw each other, I would say, the fall of 1986. So the next time I saw him was 20 years later. But anyway, the Sedine's 65th anniversary was 2007. I told my family that the 65th anniversary that we all need to be at Sedine, if possible, to show solidarity with our parents that they served at Sedine for 55 years, and we needed to show as a family that we believe in what they did, even though Dad's not there anymore. And I hadn't been back to Sedine since that night where he broke up with me. I was on to other things. And so periodically, though, my mom would say, hey, Mimi, something is going on at Sedine. Don't you want to go? And I'm like, no, I'm in London. Why would I come all the way back for that?

No, thank you, I'm good. But that particular year, 2006, after my brother-in-law was killed in a truck accident, my mother finally wore me down through a series of circumstances. And I finally just thought, OK, just shut up, and I'll come for my sister, who had just lost her husband. So I came back to Sedine thinking that since his father had just died, he wouldn't want to come back to the scene of so much grief so soon, so he probably wouldn't show up, because that's how I would do. But he was doing just the opposite. And had I known he was going to be there, you couldn't have dragged me there. But God had a different plan.

Just back up for a minute. Back in 2006, I was having troubles with John John as a teenager. And the problems that I felt that I was having was because he needed a woman in his life to help him to develop, because God's design for the family is a father and a mother.

That's God's design. And I was not living God's design. And so some of the problems I felt like was if there was a woman in our life, we could do it. So I prayed, and I said, Lord, I said there was years ago I met this girl named Mimi, and I said, I think she would be a great mother for John John. But however, you might have a different plan, because last time I worked it out, I mean, it didn't work. So we want to work it out your way. But I said, to me, it has to be a role.

If it's not Mimi, I should be somebody who is like her, because I think she would be the one that would help John John to develop like he should. He had started praying a year before we met. I was blissfully unaware of this, because I had my life in London. It was great. I mean, I was happy.

It's like when you do a jigsaw puzzle and you find that last piece, and you say, oh, wow, this is it. That's how I felt when I moved to London. So he's back in the States praying for a girl like Mimi, or better yet, Mimi, to show up back into my life.

And I have no intentions of moving back to the States at all. That worked out. They had the 65th anniversary. And when I arrived on the site, one of my friends, Bill, said, I've got something that I would really like to show you.

And I says, well, Bill, I said, that's good. But I says, I'm just curious as to who all came back. And I knew that they were having a gathering of some of the CBI students and staff and everything up in the Jubilee Center. And so I wanted to go up there and see who all was there.

I was just curious as to who all showed up for this 65th anniversary and to see if any of my family was in yet. So I go upstairs in the Jubilee Center, and the first person I see is her. She's the first one I see. There's other people up there, but she just doesn't.

I'm like, you got to be kidding me. That Mimi's here. And Bill's wife, who is my friend Diane, had come to the room where I was when she saw I was registered. She came to the room to find me. But I was writing a note to my mom telling her I was on my way back to Knoxville to catch a flight to go back to London.

Because when I got there, my family wasn't there yet. And I was like, OK, I've done everything I needed to do. I'm done. I've come. They're not here.

I've gotten out. So Diane called her husband, Bill, on the phone and said, I've got Mimi. Where's Johnny? So these two are colluding together.

It's a huge conspiracy. So Bill went and got Johnny. Diane dragged me to the meeting. I was not a member of CBI. I had not gone to the school there.

I was not an alumni. But she said, let's just go to the meeting, OK? And then after the meeting, you can leave. So they got us in the same room together. And at the end of the meeting, there was a prayer.

And they picked this guy named Paul. And he is the slowest prayer you have ever heard in your life. It took him 20 minutes to get a five minute prayer done. I have my car keys in my hand. My handbag is over my shoulder. I am ready to leave the moment he says, amen. And when I turn around, standing at the top of the stairs is Johnny Neto.

And I'm looking for a window to jump out of. It was funny because Bill said, I have something I want to show you. Well, you know, he and I had been there together all of our lives. So I thought he had found something from the old fort we had, or we had a hideout out in the woods that would build. And I thought he had found something. And that's what he wanted to show me.

And I thought, well, that's not near as important as meeting the people. I can see this later. He'll still have it. He had found something. So who wasn't in the hideout?

Who said what? Oh, no, no, no. He walked over. He has not seen me in 20 years. He doesn't know if I'm married, divorced, widowed, a grandmother.

He knows nothing. He walks over to me and grabbed me like I was the last life vest on the Titanic and just started kissing me. I was like a bored. It was like, no, take your hands off. Leave me alone. Let me go.

How dare you? And after the prayer, everyone is turned around. And now they're watching Johnny kiss me. I was so embarrassed and I hadn't been dating, so I hadn't been kissing anyone since 1991. I think I quit dating. This is 2006.

And all of a sudden, my first love, who I have not seen in 20 years, who's totally ignored me and blown me off for 20 years, is now kissing me. Go figure. And yet, here we are. So what happened?

I did not know it. But at that point, the hunt was on. So I put the walls up. I was the perfect flight attendant the rest of the weekend. I had the correct responses for everyone, except he kept following me around, trying to talk. Well, what was so interesting was one of the things that I had prayed for was that John John would get along with whoever the lady was. Well, every time I wanted to find John John, he was with Mimi. I mean, he just took it up with her. Yes, we bonded.

So yeah, they bonded. So I didn't have to worry about him because I knew where and where I could find him. My sister had gotten his phone number and wrote it in her handwriting and threw it in my purse.

So when I got back to London, I switched my civilian purse to my airline purse. And I saw this number. Well, it had a North Carolina number, I'm thinking it's a relative because there was no name on the number. So when I got the number, I decided to call it on a layover. And I called it, and he answered. And I hung up.

I was like, no, no, no, no, no. And so my girlfriend saw the aftermath of that phone call. And she said, what's going on with you? I've never seen you this way. You're like tense all the time.

And I was like, oh, no, just something from my past came up and I'm just trying to cope with it. So they worked on me for two weeks to call him, call him, call him. So the next time I was in San Francisco, I said, if you will give me peace, I will call. So I called.

And he wasn't there. So I left a message and hung up. And I was off the hook because I'd done what I said. And it was all on him. Well, he got part of the message and started calling every Hilton there was in the San Francisco area.

There was five Hilton's because part of the message broke off. And so I'm good because I've done what I said. And now I can get them off my back. But they said, Well, you call them one more time. So in the lobby before we're getting our pickup to go back to San Francisco Airport, I call and this time he picked up and then I was just panic stricken.

I was like, now what do I do? I said, Well, I can't talk because I'm leaving San Francisco. He says, but it's taken me all day to try to find you.

Do you know how many hotels are in San Francisco? So I said, Look, I'll call you the next layover. So I fly back to London. And then the next time I came to San Francisco, I called he said, When are you coming back to the States? When you're going to see your mom? And I said, Well, you know, like in a month or so. So he says, Fine, I'll pick you up. And I wasn't sure about that.

Because I was trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube. And it didn't work. So that was we saw each other in was it June of 2006.

I came back from my mom's birthday in July, the end of July. And he picked me up. And like I said, the hunt was on.

I didn't know he was serious. He was he was stalking me. And I had no clue I was, you know, yeah, we can make this work.

Sure. You want a fishing buddy, I can do that. But then she came around one time in August, I had john john in a camp in over in near Asheville up in Boone area. And so I said, Why don't you go with me go pick up john john.

And she's like, she's sort of what? But I said, Get your own motel room and everything. I said, I'll pay for it all. And we can go we'll go over and get john john.

Bring it back from camp. And so and I did want to see john john again. So I said yes. So the john john was the bait. gave me a nice long drive to work on her some more.

That's right. So he walked, went over to Boone. And right on Friday, and then on Saturday, we got up and went over there and got john john. And then we had a nice leisurely drive back. We spent some time visiting over there doing things. We did things with john john. But Tweetsie railroad, john john, the Tweetsie railroad, and me me sitting over there. World's going on.

It was surreal. I kept thinking, What am I doing here? Here he is with his son, and then I'm here.

What am I doing here? So anyway, we go along and then one day john john comes in and he says a very camp Sunday. He said, Mimi's gonna come church day. I said what? I said, I said, I haven't asked for come church. He said, Well, I did.

He said you just took too long. john john was how old at this point? He is 15. Okay. 15.

Yeah. So he anyway, and so I told the Lord, I said, Lord, this is not how this supposed to work out. I was supposed to be the one who asked her to come to church. And she was come to church because I asked you. Now she's coming because john john's asked her to I said, so now's now this is that it's not going down the way I had it all planned. And so God reminded me that, you know, things are not about my plan. He has the whole thing in mind.

I just have the moment in mind. So anyway, she came to church. And I was still trying to figure out why I was there, what I was doing. And my mother even said, honey, what's going on with you and Johnny Neto, because my whole family knew. And they knew I hadn't seen him in 20 years. And my mother was like, Well, what's going on with him? I says, I don't know, Mom, maybe once a fishing buddy.

I don't know. I just know that I'm going back to London. And I went back to London.

Then I came back the next set of days off I had. And he took me out for dinner. And we were sitting in his truck in front of his apartment.

And he said, So where would you like to get married? And I looked at him and I said, I beg your pardon. And he says, so I can see you haven't thought about it.

I said, No, I haven't thought about it. You haven't seen me in 20 years. And you've seen me three times now when you're talking marriage, really? No, but he was serious.

So that was maybe August, I came back in September. And then he says, We need to talk. And I'm still remembering the last time we talked. And I said, Am I going to need a drink?

And some Valium for this talk? He says, No, no, no, no, it's not that kind of talk. So we got in the car. And he said, I just want to know what happened to us all of those years ago. And I thought, No, you cannot possibly have amnesia. So I took him down memory lane.

And I could see it was starting to come back to him. So he said, Wow, yeah, I'd forgotten about that. Yeah, I did say that. Didn't I? Yeah, you did. Well, I did apologize.

Yes, he did apologize. And we talked some more. But I wasn't wanting to punish him or hurt him.

You know, that was water way under that bridge. But I wasn't wanting to date or get back, you know, and he's pushing this marriage thing. So we finally talked and I said, Look, okay, then we need to address us. And he says, Okay, I'm willing to do that.

Whatever you want, I'm willing to do. So I said, Well, look, you've got a divorce behind you. I've never been married.

The odds aren't good in our favor. So there's an organization called Family Life Today, and they have a weekend to remember. I knew it was coming.

I said, We need to get hooked up with that, because they have good advice for people. So there was actually one that fall and he booked us. She left. She flew off. I flew off. I went back to London. I said, You do it.

You take care of it. I got us booked in there. He got us registered. And then when I came back that October for the conference, that's when I decided, Oh, maybe this is real.

Darrell Bock Yeah, they have date night on Saturday night. So I decided that was gonna be the good time to pop the old question. So I have this all planned that I'm going to get a carrot, and I'm gonna put it on a pop top can, and I'm gonna give her a ring. It's a whole carrot. Well, the place where I had the pop top can, somebody come in and cleaned out. So the cans were gone.

I'd already gone to the store trying to find carrots, and they were out of the carrots that day. And meanwhile, she's sitting in the car, and I'm making all these stops at these different places, and she's finding nails and doing stuff girls do and everything. And so finally I just said to her, I said, Will you go with me up on a roof? And she said, Yeah.

I said, Okay. So I still haven't figured out what I'm gonna do about a ring. So I thought, Well, I got my ring from my truck keys here. So I took all my truck keys off my key ring. We go up on the roof, because I'm thinking when we get up on the roof, there'll be airplanes up there flying around.

So we get up on the roof, and there's no airplanes flying around. And I said, Well, this is not what I had figured at all. And she's the number. What do you mean?

What is this not figured? I said, Oh, well, we're just gonna do anyway. So I get down on Monday, and I hold up my drink to my truck key. And I asked her to marry me. And she's standing there, right? Just like that with her hand over her mouth.

What is this? And I'm like, Well, this is where you're supposed to say yes. No, there's no ring. But it was a ring. It was a truck key ring. I said, This looks like a key ring.

He says, It's the key ring from my truck truck, the most important possession I own. And I had no idea it was coming. I was blindsided to not see that one coming.

So I said yes. But some of the people in the church did. They didn't know that I'd proposed to her.

So they didn't think that it was real. Because I had there was no ring. Well, the problem was, was the ring from her, her sister told me that she really wanted her mother's ring. Her mother came to me and says, I know Mimi wants this ring, but it's in bad shape. So I brought it there was somebody in the church there who had a friend who does jewelry, and they took it and they clean it up and reset the jewels and got it all fixed up and everything. So I was waiting on this ring to come back. But it wasn't coming back. So if when I finally did get it, and I think this was in January, wasn't it?

In January. And so we had actually met at the horse arena. So I knew where a horse arena was here in Durham. So I drove to the horse arena. And she didn't know where and where we was going and why we was going there, anything else. And when we got there, I said, Just sit here in the car a minute.

I said, I just want to check something out. So I get out, I go in there and ask the people. I tell them I want to propose to her in the horse arena.

When I was okay, and whether or not they had a class going on or whatever. And they says no, it's fine. So we go out here and I have her mother's ring this time. And I get down on my knees and I asked her to marry me. I'm holding up her mother's ring. And she still doesn't say yes. She says, that looks like my mother's ring.

I said it is because I said your mother said that she wanted it. So I'm giving this to you as a real ring now for you to wear. So you're still a flight attendant. You're still flying all around the world, but now planning a wedding. I told him because when I came back, he says, Well, have you bought everything, anything for the wedding? I said, Nope, not until you go back and tell your entire family that we're getting married. I said, because I'm not going to be a surprise to anybody. And this time I'm taking no prisoners. I've already tried that.

That did not work for me. So let me tell you how we're going to do it now. So I came back, he says, Have you bought anything for the wedding? I said, Have you told your entire family yet? Well, no, not yet. I said, Well, then no, I haven't bought a toothpick yet. You finish your job, and then we'll talk. So he did.

All right. So when you were younger, he broke your heart. He ignored you for 20 years. He kisses you out of the blue at this reunion.

He then proposes to you with the key ring from his truck keys. Yes. Why did you say yes? Because he was one itch that I never could scratch. I never got over him. And I refused to settle. And I dated other guys.

They didn't measure up. I quit dating. I didn't need a man to fulfill me or complete me. I had a rough patch when my younger sister got married. And then all of my siblings were married and I went to her wedding and everybody's like, Oh, Mimi, you're such a nice girl. Why aren't you married? Why don't you have a husband?

And I want to say, Why are you wanting to give me yours? But I did have a wobble at that point. I kept thinking, Well, what's wrong with me that I'm not in a relationship and I don't have anyone? And God said, Mimi, I need to be enough for you. So I struggled for a couple of years with that. And finally, I yielded.

I said, God, you're enough. But even then, God didn't bring us back together. It was another 8, 10 years before we reconnected. And when he came back into my life, I didn't really want a relationship because I was living in three different countries.

I had a mother I was taking care of, a blind dog with lupus. My life was full and I had already made my future plans. I had my life planned out and God had other plans. And so when he brought him back into my life, I fussed at God a bit and told him off. But then I said, OK, God, but I want what you want more than I want what I want. And if this is your will, then you're going to have to prove it to me and I will follow. So he came back into my life and he refused to take no for an answer. And I finally let myself believe that it could happen.

So, yeah, I'm keeping him. My thanks to Johnny and Mimi for sharing their story. One of the funny things about their breakup to me is how much angst was created simply because of the lack of communication. Even though there was this layer of racial strife surrounding the situation, Johnny didn't care about that at all. That wasn't why he called things off. He just had this idea in his head that he didn't want to get married until he was 35. But of course, he didn't communicate that at all. So Mimi, of course, had no idea what to think and spent the next quarter century flying all over the world and never really knowing what went wrong. In any event, they've now been together for the last 15 years and they're a terrific and very happy couple. I hope you enjoyed this episode of Mr. Stillman's Opus, and we'll talk with you again soon.