Forgiving Others - Part 1

Today on Fellowship in the Word, Pastor Bill Gebhart challenges you to become a fully functioning follower of Jesus Christ. Thank you for joining us today on this edition of Fellowship in the Word with Pastor Bill Gebhart. In the ministry of Fellowship Bible Church located in Metairie, Louisiana.

Let's join Pastor Bill Gebhart now as once again he shows us how God's Word meets our world. The story of a man who was bitten by a dog which was later discovered to be rabid. At that time, medical science had no answer for rabies and so the doctor said to him, All we can do is try to make you comfortable.

My best advice is that you put your affairs in order as soon as possible. The man sunk in despair but then asked for a pen and some paper. An hour later, the doctor returned and saw the man still writing with great enthusiasm. The doctor said to him, I'm glad that you're come to grips with your impending death and you're working on your will.

The man responded, this ain't no will, doc. This is a list of people I'm going to bite before I die. Many of us live and die with that kind of list.

Not written on paper, but written in our minds, written in our hearts. A list of people that we believe have wronged us, hurt us, mistreated us. Sometimes we forget the names, but we still carry around a bitter outlook on life. The root of our problem is an unforgiving spirit.

C.S. Lewis put it so well when he said, forgiveness is a beautiful word until you have something to forgive. There's something powerful within each and every one of us that clings to any wrong that we have suffered. We remembered for years, decades, we dwell upon it. Our Lord considered forgiveness one of the very most important issues of a believer's life.

So much so that he spoke on it on several occasions. Nowhere did he speak on it more pointedly than in Matthew chapter 18. So would you open your Bibles to Matthew chapter 18? We are in a series that I've called forgiveness, the keystone of all relationships in a fallen world. The very first message I talked about, all of us need to be forgiven. All of us have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, that it's God's nature to forgive. And then when God forgives, his forgiveness is complete and total. The second week I said that even though God's forgiveness is a free gift for us, it was extremely costly to Jesus Christ as we spoke on the cross. And then I said there is a connection between embracing the forgiveness of God and having a love for God. And last time I said that we live in forgiveness on a daily basis by confessing and acknowledging our sins before God. Forgiveness is a difficult issue for us. We do much better understanding what it means to be forgiven than it does for us to do the forgiving.

It's been a problem and it confuses us. In verse 21, Peter, as he always does, you've got to love Peter. He's willing to say what other people think. Peter came and said to the Lord, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Great question.

How often? Now, Peter's picking up on something Jesus had said, verse 15. In verse 15, Jesus was teaching and he said to his disciples, he said, if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private. If he listens to you, he says you have won your brother.

Peter jumped on one phrase there. If he listens to you, what if he doesn't? What if he doesn't? What if he ignores you? So Peter said, wait a minute, wait a minute, I'm a little bit confused about this.

I'm going to latch onto this. He said, look, forgiving people are hard. It's hard enough. But what if he doesn't listen? So Peter says, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? And then he throws in a self-righteous phrase, I think, trying to impress the Lord.

He said, up to seven times. Now, you have to understand, Peter knows that he's been taught by rabbis that they must be forgiving. But he also knows what the rabbis teach.

For example, Rabbi Jose Ben Ehuda, who wrote in the Talmud, the Jewish Talmud, wrote this. If a man commits a transgression, the first, second, and third time, he is forgiven. The fourth time, he is not to be forgiven. So Peter said, you know, I'd like to say what the rabbis say, but I know Jesus.

And every time I say what the rabbis say, Jesus corrects it. So he said, I'm going to really impress him here, and I'm going to throw in seven. He seems to like the number anyway, and it's twice as good a number as three.

It's better than twice as good. See, Peter is puzzled and confused by the same thing that puzzles and confuses you. Is there a limit to your ability to forgive?

Is there a limit to this ability? Jesus responds to Peter, and his response is incredible. Jesus ignores the numbers.

He doesn't even want to speak about them. But he goes on and says this, I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to 70 times seven. Now, he does not mean 490.

As I said this in the past, some of you are so obsessive compulsive that you'll keep a list. And then when you get to 491, you'll feel that you have no longer an obligation. Jesus is not speaking about the number.

Seven times seven. The 70 times seven idea to Jesus simply means there is no number. Forgiveness is not an issue of numbers, and he'll go on and prove why in just a moment.

He wants to make one point now, and this is why he brought all this up, to teach this parable. Forgiven people must be forgiving. Forgiven people must be forgiving. Now, first of all, let me give you a definition of what it means, forgiveness.

I'll give you a couple dictionary definitions that are pretty much biblically right on. Forgiveness is the renunciation or cessation of resentment, indignation, or anger as a result of a perceived offense, disagreement, mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or any restitution. The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as, to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or a debt. That's what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is not forgetting, by the way.

I can't tell you how long I've heard this over the years. Well, I can't forgive because I haven't forgotten it yet. As a fallen human being in a fallen world, you'll never forget. You will absolutely never forget. You will always remember offenses.

It doesn't even matter how old you are. When you were in elementary school, there could be people that said wonderful things about you, and I don't know you, but I'm going to assume there are a few people that said good things about you, and you probably don't remember them. But if somebody said something terrible about you or somebody really hurt you or somebody mocked you or someone made a fool of you, you remember to this day. You haven't let go of it. You don't forget.

Now bring that into your life. What if you were raised in a home where you were abused? Are you going to forget that? What if you're in a marriage where you're abused? Are you going to forget that?

No. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Also, forgiveness is not ignoring or being indifferent or avoiding the person who has sinned against you.

Just avoiding or being indifferent to them doesn't mean you've forgiven anything. If you're going to come to grips with forgiveness, there are certain principles you have to understand. One, forgiveness deals with real sin. Forgiveness deals with real sin, inexcusable, unacceptable, sinful behavior. G.K. Chesterton said this, forgiveness means pardoning the unpardonable or it's not forgiveness at all. Forgiveness deals with real sin. Secondly, the word forgiveness means erasing the act, letting go, letting go of the wrong.

If you take the Greek word there that Peter uses, the word forgive, Jesus uses the same word. It's aphiemi. It's a compound Greek word. Aphi comes from aphos. Aphos means away from.

Ami comes from hemi. And it means descend. What's forgiveness? To send it away.

To really send it away. Isn't that exactly what God said he did in the Old Testament? I will take your sins. I will take them to sea and I'll bury them.

I'll throw them overboard and remember them no more. As far as the east is from the west, that's how far I'll send your sins from you. That's what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is not this idea of constantly conjuring up something, constantly bringing it up again, constantly talking about it again. Forgiveness is dealing with it and letting it go away. Thirdly, forgiveness is granted and not earned. You don't earn forgiveness.

I've heard people say, I'm not going to forgive until I no longer hurt. That's not forgiveness. Forgiveness is an act of your will.

It's not a prisoner of your emotions. If you're waiting to emotionally get ready to forgive, there are things that have happened in your life you'll never forgive. It's an act of your will. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things in life we'll ever do. Forgiveness is not reconciliation.

We'll talk about that in an upcoming message. Reconciliation is when two parties come back together. Forgiveness is not reconciliation. It's an important part of reconciliation. It's the part of the forgiver, but reconciliation requires some responsibility on the forgivie, or the one who is forgiven. But as believers, Jesus Christ is going to make it abundantly clear, you have no other option.

People who are forgiven must be forgivers. Now, he then decides he's going to give us a parable to sort of clarify his point to us. He says in verse 23, for this reason, the kingdom of heaven, my people, believers. For this reason, he says, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. Now, we all understand what king means here, but maybe we don't understand what slaves mean.

We have a tendency to think of slavery and slaves as only the lowest form. But in this parable, Jesus is not talking about that. In Jesus' world, when a guy was a king, he was an absolute monarch. In other words, everybody was the king's slave.

Everybody. In fact, the king had the power of life and death over everybody. And so this slave that comes forward here you're going to see is certainly not an impoverished slave. He says, when he had begun to settle them, one who owed him 10,000 talents, he said, was brought to him. And there's a problem we have in English. We see 10,000 talents and we go, OK, 10,000 talents.

We don't have any idea what that means. Well, first of all, the word 10,000, that used to be a big word, by the way. I would imagine if you went back 100 years ago and you could make $10,000 in a year, it was impressive.

How about now? That's so good. Someone offers you a job and said, I'll give you $10,000 a year for this job. See, but in the Greek language, this is the highest number in the language. You've seen this word. It's in the Book of Revelation. The word is myrioi, which is we get the word myriad. Myriads and myriads of angels. It's the word 10,000.

It's the largest number they have. This guy owed 10,000 talents. Now, let me give you an idea of what a talent means. By weight, a talent means 75 pounds. 75 pounds of gold, 75 pounds of silver.

But there's another way of looking at the equivalency here that Jesus is going to use. One talent equals 6,000 denarii. Now, I've told you before that a denarii is one day's wages. One talent equals 6,000 denarii. Now, the average person made 300 denarii in a year. That would have been the average yearly income, 300 denarii.

It would take 20 years of working to earn one talent. Now, how much did this man owe? 10,000 talents, 200,000 years of labor. That's what he owed. He owed 200,000 years of labor.

Now, I know some of you are probably in debt, but at least now you can be grateful you're not 200,000 years of your income in debt. Now, this is a parable. Jesus is using hyperbole, and there's a really good reason for this. The king is the Lord himself. Now, guess who the slave is?

That'd be you, and that's me. You see, what do you owe? What do I owe the Lord on the basis of my debt of sin against him? 10,000 talents, 200,000 years.

One commentator, when he was writing in this section, said, no wonder that that's the reason hell is eternal. It'd take that long to pay it back. I don't think that's real good theology, but the point of it is it's an enormous debt. You see, they would have understood, like, this is an unrealistic debt. This is an enormous debt, but it's a very important thing. We have no resources to pay it back.

So in those kind of cases normally, what do you do? You have justice, so we get justice. Verse 25, but since he did not have the means to repay, his Lord commanded him to be sold along with his wife and his children and all that he had, and repayment be made. That's what would have happened.

That's the justice. It would have cost you, you would have become an indentured servant, a slave. They'd have taken your wife, your children, and everything you owe would have been applied to the debt.

And by the way, all of that wouldn't have made a dent at all. Now, what's interesting about this is because it's a parable, Jesus is going to now put that little twist in it that he always seems to in a parable. Verse 26, so the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him and said, Have patience with me, and I will repay you everything. Now, we know, by the way, by the debt, he couldn't have possibly done it.

But he's just pleading for something. The only thing that could save him, mercy, just mercy. And the Lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. The Lord had compassion and forgave him the debt.

Wow, I don't think the disciples saw that coming. Now, forgiveness is about the forgiver, by the way. It's not about the one being forgiven.

It's the one who does the forgiving. That's what forgiveness is. The forgiver, by the way, pays what the forgiven owes.

You see, whenever you forgive a debt, what are you saying? I'll pay it. He was owed 200,000 years of labor. He was owed 10,000 talents.

And what does the king say? I'll pay it. You owed it. I'll pay it. So what did you owe the Lord? You owe it before a holy God.

Infinite. You know what he said? I'll bear it. I'll pay it.

That's what I said. Forgiveness is costly. When you forgive somebody, you absorb the cost. You see, you absorb the cost. That's part of the forgiveness.

You inherit the debt. So often I hear Christians say, well, I forgave the person, and then they begin to talk about how terrible the person was and how awful what the person did to them and how just terrible it's made their life. Then you haven't forgiven anything because now you're taking the pain and putting it back out there.

You didn't absorb it. You see, you want to punish them by telling me. That's not forgiveness. So Jesus says, the Lord of that slave-felt compassion released him and he forgave the debt, erased it, wiped it out. And this is where you might think it would end, that Peter would say, okay, Lord, I kind of get that. Jesus says, not so fast because I know you and I know all the people who will follow you. I know what human beings are like and I know what my human beings, my believers, my disciples are like. And so he continues. He says this. He says, but that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him 100 denarii and he seized him and he began to choke him saying, pay back what you owe.

That'd be you and me. Now notice, there's a debt being owed. It is a legitimate debt to say the very, very least. It's 100 denarii, four months labor. Someone owed him four months labor. So that's a substantial amount.

Think what an average income is, four months, that's substantial. He says, you owe me. You're going to pay me. But notice what the Lord does. He gives you an oral insight into the person. He said he wanted to choke him. Now I know this. I know that you say, well, I haven't choked anybody.

Maybe not, but you probably have liked it. Social restraint probably stops you from it. But choking means he had a vengeful heart.

Let me try this scenario. Somebody's hurt you. Somebody's tried to destroy your reputation. Someone has done you wrong in your past.

And then you hear later that they have fallen on difficult circumstances or bad times. How do you respond? You smile, don't you? There's a little smile.

What are you thinking? Getting what they deserve now. You see, if you take that kind of joy in someone who's hurt you in the past, whenever they're circumcised, you have not forgiven. You're not choking them. But you have the same vengeful heart. Jesus says, look, don't do that. Forgiven people must be forgiving. Notice, so his fellow slave fell to the ground, began to plead with him, saying, have patience with me, and I will repay you. Now, that's verse 29. Again, look back to verse 26. This is himself. So the slave fell to the ground, prostrated himself before him, and said, have patience with me, and I will repay you everything.

Do they sound similar? I need mercy. Well, verse 30 says, but he was unwilling. Now, he didn't say the pain was so great, he just couldn't help himself. He didn't say he was so emotionally distraught by this man owing him three months late that he just couldn't help himself. Whenever God's children don't forgive, there's only one reason you don't.

You are unwilling. You've been listening to Pastor Bill Gebhardt on the Radio Ministry of Fellowship in the Word. If you ever miss one of our broadcasts, or maybe you would just like to listen to the message one more time, remember that you can go to a great website called OnePlace.com. That's OnePlace.com, and you can listen to Fellowship in the Word online.

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