Stop Complaining - Part 2

Today on Fellowship in the Word, Pastor Bill Gebhardt challenges you to become a fully functioning follower of Jesus Christ. It's not much of a jump that we say God owes me. I have certain expectations for my life and they're not coming through and I'm angry at God because I'm not getting what I want. And in fact, in a general way, we say life owes me. Life owes me something. And when life doesn't give me what I want to have, then I'm going to get angry.

That's how it works for us. The problem is that angry people don't realize something. They don't realize that they allow other people to control them.

If you're an angry person and you have a lot of outbursts and anger, you're allowing the people that you're angry at to control you. Thank you for joining us today on this edition of Fellowship in the Word with Pastor Bill Gebhardt. Fellowship in the Word is the radio ministry of Fellowship Bible Church located in Metairie, Louisiana. Let's join Pastor Bill Gebhardt now as once again he shows us how God's Word meets our world. Turn with me now to Colossians chapter three. Colossians chapter three, another prison epistle. Verse 12. Here the apostle Paul says, So as those who have been chosen of God, that's again us, holy, that means set apart, holy and beloved.

We are a set apart people that God loves. He said, I want you to put on a heart of compassion and kindness and humility and gentleness. And there it is again. Patience. Right after patience, what's it say? Bearing with one another.

You see, bearing with one another. Listen, if you keep waiting for people to meet your expectations and you decide I'll stop complaining when they start meeting my expectations, you will die complaining. It's going to happen every day.

It's going to happen almost every way. You see, what we really need to do in this fallen world is to show, as he says right there, to show the heart of passion, compassion, kindness, humility and gentleness and patience. But it's even clearer if you turn with me now to Galatians chapter five. Galatians chapter five.

And you'll see that we're completely without excuse. When it comes to complaining and patience, first, 22 of Galatians five. Paul says, but the fruit of the spirit is now please understand I say this all the time. He doesn't say these are the fruits of the spirit. That would be our that'd be a plural.

This is a singular verb. The fruit of the spirit is so when you have the spirit in control of your life, this is what is evidenced in your life. So don't say I'm pretty good at two of those.

I'm working on two or three of them, and I'm probably below average on the other. It's not what he means. He said when you're controlled by the spirit of God, this is what it looks like. The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace. There it is. Patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control against such things.

There is no law. When you're controlled by the spirit of God, one of the things that is evident in your life is you are patient. If you are humble, gentle, kind and patient, guess what you won't be doing? Complaining. You see, so when you are complaining, you have to ask yourself that question. Where does this complaint come from? It doesn't come from the spirit of God.

This comes from my flesh. You see, someone's not meeting my expectation. And I want to complain about it. So the antidote to complaining is patience.

You need to ask yourselves just two questions. One, am I experiencing the fruit of the spirit in my life? And secondly, and I think very important when it comes to certain situations or certain people, have I prayed consistently and persistently about this? Before I start complaining, have I really prayed about this? And inevitably, I think that what ends up happening when you pray persistently and consistently about something like this, God may change the circumstance, but he will change you. You see, once I start articulating my impatience, my demands on others, my expectations, it becomes very evident to me as I'm praying that to the Lord, like, whoa, this is all about me.

This isn't about you. You see, we the thing about prayer that's most amazing prayer can change things, but prayer mostly changes us. That's what happens when we pray. So complaining is usually a chronic condition and it's extremely habitual. Listen, if you are a very avid complainer, you're going to fight with this.

This message is not necessarily going to help you. Many, many years ago, I preached a sermon on an overview of the Book of Numbers or the Book of Complaining. And when the sermon was over in those days, I would stand at the front door and there was a lady in our church, an elderly woman, and she came to the door. And this woman, if this woman was primarily, she's a nice lady, but primarily, if you said, give me one word to describe her, I'd say complainer. She complained incessantly. So she gets to the door and she said, based on what I think you just said out of the Book of Numbers, I can't complain today, but if I could, this is what I would complain about.

That's what she said. If I could, these are the things that I would complain about. You see how chronic it is?

It's who she is. And as I said, you always have the ammunition to complain. Disappointments everywhere.

And people never meet all your expectations. So complaining is chronic. And I want to talk now about angry words. I mean the outburst, when we have these outbursts of really angry words. Angry words are sprinkled in anger all through scripture. Remember, Cain in the Book of Genesis early becomes angry. He becomes so angry that he murders his brother. Saul became so angry that he spent so much time trying to hunt down David and murder him. Jonah became so angry that he thought about committing suicide. And he ran from God as far as he could get away.

The prodigal son's older brother became so angry that he turned on his father. That's why James said we have to be careful when it comes to outbursts of anger. In James 1, verse 19.

Go there with me. James 1, verse 19. James writing, he says, this you know my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Does that describe you? Are you slow to anger?

Or does it come quickly out of nowhere? You see, we have to hesitate. You know, it's interesting. God, I find it interesting the way God spoke to these examples I gave, three of them, when they got really angry. When Cain got so angry, God said to Cain, his first words were this, why are you angry? He said, do right and your countenance will rise.

That's an interesting thing. He said, Cain, why are you angry? If you do the right thing, your countenance will rise.

Same thing for us. You see, sometimes when I get angry, I think the thing that I have to do as a priority is repent. You see, I have to see it for what it is. He said, you do right, your countenance will rise. You see, those furrowed eyebrows and that red face will go away.

You might have a smile. Then to Jonah, he said, do you have good reason to be angry? That's what he said to Jonah. Do you have good reason to be angry? Remember Jonah?

Yes. Jonah thought he had great reason to be angry. You know, why was Jonah so angry? He got angry at God for the reason you and I often get angry at God, the same reason. And that is that Jonah thought that God should do something.

Jonah thought that God should do to Nineveh what Jonah would do to Nineveh. Because they had it coming and God didn't. That happens to us so often. We expect God to act a certain way in our lives and he doesn't. And then we're angry because the circumstances didn't change the way we thought they would.

God didn't come through for us. The prodigal son's older brother, the father said, son, you've always been with me. All that I have, all that is mine is yours. In other words, you have no reason. If you thought about it from a different point of view, he's simply saying, you should be grateful for what you have. Not angry about what your brother's getting. You see, not angry about what you don't have, you should be grateful for what you have. You see, we always have to check and see the reason how you justify your anger.

Very important for us. Why do we get angry? I think it's a lot like complaining. This last week, I looked through some chapters of some books and they did this, all the things that can make us angry. And by the way, there's a lot. In fact, it made me angry reading all that list.

There was just so many things on the list. But Andy Stanley wrote something and I thought it was very accurate. He said, we get angry when we expect something that we don't get. You see, it's just, it's like complaining except it's an outburst.

It's not chronic. We get angry when we expect something that we don't get. What do we say to people? You owe me. I have certain expectations of my wife, my children, my friends, people I meet, you owe me. And if you don't meet my expectations, I'm going to get angry.

It's not much of a jump that we say God owes me. I have certain expectations for my life and they're not coming through and I'm angry at God because I'm not getting what I want. And in fact, in a general way, we say life owes me. Life owes me something. And when life doesn't give me what I want to have, then I'm going to get angry.

That's how it works for us. The problem is that angry people don't realize something. They don't realize that they allow other people to control them. If you're an angry person and you have a lot of outbursts and anger, you're allowing the people that you're angry at to control you. And by the way, we know that even though we know what we're saying is not true.

What do we say to people? You know what? You make me angry.

Let me give you the truth. No one can make you angry. Anger is an inside job. No one can make you angry.

No one has that power over you. If you get angry and you have an outburst, that came from your heart. You see, that comes from the inside. It works its way out through your tongue in an outburst that you have.

What's the antidote for anger? Again, the book of Ephesians chapter 4. Ephesians chapter 4. And this time verse 31. And I'll be honest, on a certain level, these are two verses I don't care much for. The expectation is really high in these verses.

Verse 31. Let all. And no matter how you look at the word, it's the same every time you look at it in every lexicon. You know what all means? It means all. What's the word I want there? Some. That's the word I want. I want the word some. Let some of the bitterness go. I knew that.

I think I can work on that. He says, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Now, he says all of it has to be put away.

You have to get rid of it. Literally, it says that in the Greek. All of it?

All of it. It seems unrealistic. It surely seems unrealistic.

But it gets much more difficult. He says, not only do I have to put that all away, but notice then what he says again with imperative mood commandments. Be kind to one another. Tender hearted.

And here's the antidote for anger. Forgiving each other. Forgive.

Yeah, that's what it said. Forgiving each other. And that's what it means. It means forgiving each other. Well, but they never apologized. It didn't say that. It says, oh, when they apologized, forgive them. It didn't say that. It said forgiving each other. By the way, it gets much worse.

Two words set it up. Just as God in Christ has also forgiven you. Well, there's the definition. You see there, that refines the meaning of forgiveness. I have to forgive others the way Christ forgives me. The way God forgives me.

Well, how does he do that? Completely. Persistently. Daily. Hourly.

By the minute. That's the word. Just as. Isn't it interesting that you're on the forgiving end and you think, isn't it wonderful? Isn't it just wonderful that God forgives me like that? And then somebody doesn't meet your expectation and you harbor it. I'm not forgiving them.

They deserve my anger. Turn with me, the last passage I want to look at, to Matthew 18. And there we get a little bit more of what the just as means. Matthew 18 and verse 21. Matthew writes this. Then Peter came and he said to him, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Now, what Peter is, is a realist.

Peter saying, you know what? All my life, people have done me dirt. Always. Some unintentionally, some intentionally. Even these other 11 guys aren't what you think they are.

They're annoying. You see, that's the way life is. So Peter says, how often, how many times should I do that? And then Peter, as I've said before, the rabbis taught three times and then you're done. Peter said, how about seven? That's a great number. It's a number of perfection. It's way more double what the rabbi say. You're going to be impressed when you hear that from me. And Jesus said to him, I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to 70 times seven.

Wow. 490, no, it means infinitely. And soon as he said that, he goes into a parable and says, for this reason, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. And when he began to settle them, one owed him 10,000 talents that was brought to him. And the number is overwhelmingly staggering. It's a number that no one could ever repay.

That's the point of it. Let's say it in the term of billions of dollars. He says then, but since he did not have the means to repay, his Lord commanded him to be sold along with his wife and his children and all that he had and repayment to be made. So the slave fell on the ground, prostrated himself before him and said, have patience with me and I will repay you everything. And the Lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. That's what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is a decision to cancel the debt. You owe me.

You may have really hurt me, but my decision is I cancel the debt. It's hard to do, isn't it? For some of us to stop complaining, you see, to stop having angry outbursts seem way beyond us. And I really believe that the problem that we're having is not the ability to do this. We have the Spirit of God indwelling us.

It will produce this. The problem isn't the lack of the strength of the Spirit of God or the clarity of the Word of God. The problem that we have is our view of ourselves. You see, the only person that can stop you from complaining and stop you from outburst of anger, the only one that can do that is you.

You're the only person that can actually do that. So I'm going to remind you of something. When the Lord looks at the physical and spiritual universe, all that he has created, you're not in the center of it. You see, you're not the bullseye.

When all the stage lights are lit and right on that stage, they're not all shining on you. In fact, if I was going to continue with that metaphor, it would be sort of like this. We are lesser orbs. That's who we are.

In the grand scheme of it all, we are lesser orbs. Are we appreciated? Yes. Are we loved? Yes. Are we valued?

Highly. But you are not the celebrity of the universe. It's the Son of God.

It's our Lord Jesus Christ. If you think about that metaphor, I think the moon is our model. Contrary to the lyrics, the harvest moon cannot shine on.

Not at all. In fact, apart from the sun, the moon is a dead black rock. That's all it is. But in just the right position with the sun, it beams. It's amazing how bright it can seem, not generating any of its own light.

It simply reflects light. And just like you and me, it not only has a side that can reflect the light, but our moon has something else, doesn't it? A dark side. It's always there. Just like it is with you and me, we have a dark side.

That complaining, unforgiving, angry side. The moon reflects the greater light, and the moon is happy to do so. The moon never complains. Never. The moon allows cows to jump over it.

Astronauts to step on it. And there's no complaining at all. When we see ourselves as those who reflect the light of the sun, of God. When we do that, we reflect His patience, and we stop complaining. We forgive as He forgives. And the angry outbursts vanish. So, if you want to complain about this series, leave me out of it.

Take it up with Him. Let's pray. Father, these two issues, and the way we use our tongue and the weight of our words, touch all of our lives.

We can identify with the children of Israel. We can find ourselves taken out of Egypt on the way to the promised land and complaining. Complaining on a daily basis. Complaining on things that are small and things that are large. Because, Father, we really aren't patient with your care in our lives.

Father, we all have outbursts of anger. For some of us, it's very difficult and it occurs way too often. But, Father, what's happening is we're basically saying that others in this world have to meet our expectations, and when they don't, we strike out in anger. How soon we forget that you have very high expectations and we don't meet them at all. And you meet our failure with your love and forgiveness, your compassion.

You cancel our debt. We are so grateful, so happy that you do that. But, Father, we've got to be more than simply those who have been forgiven. We have to be those who forgive. Father, I pray that as we continue to see the weight of our words and the importance of our language and our tongue, that we get convicted by your Spirit where need be. And we should be encouraged that we have the capability to overcome our propensity to use our tongue in a destructive way. This we pray in Jesus' name, for your glory and for our good.

Amen. At that website, you will find not only today's broadcast, but also many of our previous audio programs as well. At Fellowship in the Word, we are thankful for those who financially support our ministry and make this broadcast possible. We ask all of our listeners to prayerfully consider how you might help this radio ministry continue its broadcast on this radio station by supporting us monthly or with just a one-time gift. Support for our ministry can be sent to Fellowship in the Word, 4600 Clearview Parkway, Metairie, Louisiana, 7006. If you would be interested in hearing today's message in its original format, that is as a sermon that Pastor Bill delivered during a Sunday morning service at Fellowship Bible Church, then you should visit our website, fbcnola.org.

That's fbcnola.org. At our website, you will find hundreds of Pastor Bill's sermons. You can browse through our sermon archives to find the sermon series you are looking for, or you can search by title. Once you find the message you are looking for, you can listen online, or if you prefer, you can download the sermon and listen at your own convenience. And remember, you can do all this absolutely free of charge. Once again, our website is fbcnola.org. For Pastor Bill Gebhardt, I'm Jason Gebhardt, thanking you for listening to Fellowship in the Word. .