Resentment

Today on Fellowship in the Word, Pastor Bill Gebhardt challenges you to become a fully functioning follower of Jesus Christ.

I want you to be careful. Don't resent God. That resentment will have little effect on God, but it will have enormous effect on you.

Resentment shouldn't even be part of our DNA, because we are to be like our Father. We are to be like His Son. Thank you for joining us today on this edition of Fellowship in the Word with Pastor Bill Gebhardt. Fellowship in the Word is the radio ministry of Fellowship Bible Church located in Metairie, Louisiana.

Let's join Pastor Bill Gebhardt now as once again he shows us how God's Word meets our world. I believe it was in ninth grade when I was asked to read Great Expectations, and I don't think I learned anything, except maybe what a self-induced coma was. If you look outside of a word, pip, that's all I got. But apparently Dickens wrote about an unforgettable character in that book, Miss Havisham. Miss Havisham was a woman who was jilted right at the beginning of her wedding ceremony at the altar many years earlier. In fact, she was standing there with her wedding dress on, the cake was prepared for the great celebration after the wedding service, and it was ten minutes to nine. But at precisely ten minutes to nine, the groom did not show. In fact, he ran off with another woman. So from that time on, time stopped at the mansion of Miss Havisham.

The drapes were pulled permanently shut. The cake crumbled. In fact, rats ran off with all of it. She never took off her wedding dress.

It faded from white to yellow, and then basically started falling apart. And then Dickens wrote that she said this, sharper teeth than these of the rats have been gnawing at me. She was experiencing the teeth of resentment. Resentment is a latent, buried anger that, left unchecked, will ruin your life. Arthur Lewis B. Smedes writes this, When we experience resentment, we make believe that we are at peace while the furies of rage are within, beneath the surface.

There, hidden and suppressed, our hate opens the subterranean faucets of venom that will eventually infect all of our relationships in ways we cannot possibly predict. It's my experience that resentment is a universal failure among human beings. I saw a lot of definitions of what resentment is, but I don't believe I really want to use Webster's.

I want to use a working definition because I thought it was the most profound and clearest. Resentment is swallowing poison and then waiting for someone else to die. That's what resentment is. All of us feel resentment.

It's sort of right there underneath for each and every one of us. I want you to think of two or three people that have hurt you the most. And I want you to think of two or three people that you would enjoy seeing fail.

And if you hear about their failures, there's something in you that seems pleased. Because if you can answer yes to those questions, you have an issue of resentment. God gives us a tremendous warning about resentment. Open your Bibles to Hebrews chapter 12. In Hebrews 12, the writer of Hebrews writes in verse 14 that we are to pursue peace with all men.

And the sanctification without which no one would see the Lord. And then he says this. He says, see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God. Now, he wants to explain that he doesn't necessarily mean our receiving of the grace of God, but he says, see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God. That no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble. And by it, many be defiled. Resentment is the feeling and its fruit that it bears, bitterness.

And he says, look, I don't want any one of you to come short of the grace of God. That no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble. And by it, many are defiled. God is telling us that when we have resentment, we are defiled. And if you think about it, we are defiled on almost every level.

We are defiled physically. You can go on the Internet and read about all of the kind of symptoms you find with people who have latent anger. All kinds of issues, high blood pressure, glandular problems, ulcers, cardiac disorders, all kinds of things related to people whose lives are filled with resentment and bitterness. There is emotional defilement. You become negative, critical, in some cases paranoid.

There is relational defilement. It can ruin your marriage. It can defile your relationship with your children or with your parents.

You could watch your friends just vanish in front of your eyes. And, of course, it defile you spiritually. It ruins your relationship with God.

God is not mocked, Paul wrote to the Galatians. Whatever you sow, you will reap. You see, there's no place for resentment in the Christian life. And that's why God gives us such a stern warning. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God, that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble.

It'll defile you. And, boy, that's hard. It's hard for a couple reasons. One is we're human beings and we have a past and people and events have been painful in our lives. And it's easy through those events and those people to harbor resentment. By the way, we also live in a culture that sort of champions it, doesn't it? I mean, if you think about that idea, think of the culture in which we live. Think of the political pundits.

It doesn't matter which side they're on. But what is it they try to stir in you? What is it they try to get out of you? They want you to become resentful, angry.

It's like a permanent thing, latent in you. God says there's no place for that. You'll come short of the grace of God. Don't let that defile you. And what's really sad about this is none of us are immune to this at all.

This happens to the very, very best of us. Turn with me to First Kings Chapter two, First Kings Chapter two in verse five. The situation is that David is now elderly and he's about ready to pass on. And so he wants to talk to Solomon and he's going to.

But it's kind of interesting. David is described in the Bible as a man after God's own heart. But David has all kinds of problems.

And one of them is clearly resentment. In verse five, David says to Solomon, Now you also know what Joab, the son of Zeruiah, did to me. What he did to the two commanders of the armies of Israel to Abner, the son of Ner, and to Amasa, the son of Jethur, whom he killed.

He also shed the blood of war and peace, and he put the blood of war on his belt and about his waist and on his sandals and his feet. And he says this to Solomon. So act accordingly to your wisdom and do not let his gray hair go down to Sheol in peace. Kill that guy. I mean, David's got a lot of important things, by the way, to talk to Solomon about. But one of the things David wants to make sure he gets in there is I want that guy dead. You think he might resent him? By the way, compare that to Joseph.

His brothers plotted his death and then ended up selling him into slavery. Was he resentful? No.

No. Would have you been resentful? Oh, I see it all the time. I get involved with families where something little or something big happens in the will. And somebody gets something they didn't think that the other person should have.

Something like that happens. And the resentment is amazing. But Joseph's brothers plotted to murder him and then decided to sell him into slavery.

No resentment. What about Jesus Christ on the cross? Did he resent us? Did he resent the Roman soldiers that put the crown on him and whipped him? The mock trials among the Jews? The beatings?

The spitting? Did he resent them? Father, forgive them.

They don't know what they do. You see, no resentment. No falling short of the grace of God.

That's what he is saying. So often when people hurt us in the past, we resent those people. We wish as David that ill will comes to them. That's resentment. But resentment is nothing more than drinking poison, waiting for the other person to die. There is another kind of resentment, though, that is worse.

I believe in more pervasive and one you're more likely to deny. And that is when believers resent God. Turn with me to the Book of Job, Chapter three.

Afterward, Job opened his mouth and he cursed the day of his birth. And Job said, Let the day perish on which I was born and the night which said a boy is conceived. May the day be darkness. Let not God above care for it, nor light shine on it. Let darkness and black gloom claim it.

Let a cloud settle on it. Let the blackness of the day terrify it. And he said, And as for that night, let darkness seize it. Let not rejoice among the days of the year.

Let it not come into the number of the months. He said, Behold, let that night be barren. He said, Let no joyful shout enter into it. He says, Let those curse it who curse the day who are prepared to rouse Leviathan. Let the stars, he said, of its twilight be darkened and let it wait for light, but have none. He says, Neither let it see the breaking dawn because it did not shut the opening of my mother's womb or hide trouble from my eyes. That's a hurting man. You ever had that thought in the middle of real pain? I wish I was never born.

Many people do. That's what Job is saying. And no, it is saying it to God because that's what happens. Even to make this more clear and profound, I looked at Eugene Peterson's out of his book, The Message, his paraphrase of those nine verses.

And I love what he wrote because it really captures it in our language. He said, Then Joe broke the silence. He spoke up and he cursed his fate. Obliterate the day I was born. He says, blank out the night I was conceived.

Let it be black hole in space. May God above forget it ever happened. Erase it from the books. May the day of my birth be buried in deep darkness, shrouded by the fog, swallowed by the night. And the night of my conception, the devil take it. Rip the date, he said, off the calendar, delete it from the almanac. Oh, turn that night into pure nothingness.

No sounds of pleasure from that night ever. May those who are good at cursing curse that day. Unleash the sea beast, Leviathan on that day.

May its morning stars turn to black cinders, waiting for a daylight that never comes, never once seeing the first light of dawn. This is something that's happening to Job, because understand something, when I say Job was the best of us, it's not my opinion. In Chapter one, God told Satan that if you look among men, the very best one that's on that planet right now is Job.

So he's the best of us. David, a man after God's own heart, cursing, in a sense, a man who gave him tremendous agony and pain, harboring resentment. And now Job, the most righteous man on the planet. And something is happening to Job.

And as we go along in the book, we're going to see it clearer and clearer. Turn to Job 29. Now watch what Job says.

It's interesting. He says, And Job again took up his discourse and he said this, Oh, he says that I were as in the months gone by, as in the days when God watched over me. What's he saying?

See, he's got some inference there. There was a time when God watched over me, but you know what? He doesn't watch over me anymore. You see, there was a time when he did, but he's not watching over me now. By the way, you ever feel that way in suffering and pain?

Where are you? That's what he felt. He says, When his lamp shone over my head. And he said, And by his light, I walked through darkness. He says, As I was in the prime, he said, of my days when the friendship of God was over my tent. God used to be my friend. What's he implying?

He's not my friend right now. See it? It's resentment. He says, When the Almighty was yet with me and my children were around me, when my steps were bathed in butter and the rock poured out for me, streams of oil. He said, When I went out of the gate of the city and when I took my seat in the square, the young men saw me and they hid themselves. And the old men arose and stood and the princes stopped talking and they put their hands over their mouth.

I was somebody. Because God was with me, but he's not with me anymore. The seeds of resentment. Well, look at Chapter 31 in verse five. Job says this. If I have walked with falsehood and my foot has hastened after deceit, let God weigh me with accurate scales and let God know my integrity. You see it? Let God weigh me with accurate scales.

This isn't fair. Let God be accurate. Verse 35 in the same chapter. He said, Oh, he said that I had one to hear me. Does he have one to hear him? Does he? He doesn't think so, but does he? Do you think God hears him? Yes. You think Job thinks he does?

No, he resents God. Oh, that I had one to hear me. Behold, here is my signature. Let the Almighty answer me.

And the indictment which my adversary has written. Come on, God, give me the answer. Wow. You see, a righteous man like Job, under enough pain and suffering, we're all inclined to do this. Resent God. He's almighty. He could do anything. Why didn't he stop this? You know what I've seen this the most? When parents lose children, boy, that's hard.

And I don't care what age they lose them. It seems to be the same. God, you could have stopped it. You can do anything. Why didn't you stop it? You see, we can resent even God. God responds.

Chapter 38. And then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind. And he said, Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?

Gird up your loins like a man, and I will ask you, and you instruct me? Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me if you have understanding. Who said it's measurement since you know? Or who stretched the line on it?

Or what where its basis sunk? Or who laid its cornerstone when the morning stars sung together and all the sons of God shouted for joy? God's way of saying, Job, you don't know what you're talking about. You don't have any understanding at all. You're questioning my integrity, mine, on the basis of so little knowledge. You see, God knows it all.

The end from the beginning. He knows everything. The tapestry that he is weaving is everything that's created. And he says, Look, I don't make any mistakes with this, so why are you questioning me? You see, all the way through here, you get this idea with God. All the way through the Bible, it's the same thing. Here's what God is saying to you and I about so many things in life. You can't possibly understand it.

You can't. But you can trust me. Well, that's unsettling to us, isn't it? That's kind of unsettling. I want to understand it. There's much we understand, but there's so much we don't. That's why he said through Isaiah the prophet, My thoughts are not your thoughts. My ways are not your ways. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so are my thoughts and ways than yours. So why are you questioning me?

Why? Job gets it. Look at Job's response.

Chapter 42. Then Job answered the Lord. And Job says, I know that you can do all things. Now, right back where we started, you are almighty.

I know you can do all things. And that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. He said, Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?

Therefore, I have declared that which I don't understand. I was questioning your goodness. I was questioning your integrity.

I was resenting you because I don't understand. He said things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Here now, when I will speak, I will ask you.

You will instruct me. I have heard of you by the hearing of the ear. But now my eyes have seen you. Therefore, I retract. I repent in dust and ashes. I'm sorry. You know what that tells me?

I can go through the Job experience as long as I get to the Job conclusion. I'm a human being. I don't know why.

I can't begin to tell you how many times in the lives of all of you over all these years I have said to the Lord, Lord, why? Why this? Why her? Why him? Why? I don't understand. But I trust him.

But I want you to be careful. Don't resent God. That resentment will have little effect on God, but it will have an enormous effect on you.

Resentment shouldn't even be part of our DNA. Because we are to be like our Father. We are to be like his Son. Turn with me to 1 Corinthians 13. 1 Corinthians 13. You know the chapter.

You've heard it in wedding ceremony after wedding ceremony. By the way, I think someday I'm going to do just a series on 1 Corinthians 13 just to get it out of the wedding ceremony. It's almost like the only people that have to read this chapter are two people who are going to get married.

This is not about marriage. This chapter is about life. Remember when Jesus said you could take the whole counsel of God in the Old Testament, all of those 600 laws and commandments and ordinances and bring it down to just simply one? Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. Love your neighbor as yourself.

He said that's the summary of it all. And so let's look at what that love does. Verse 4. Love is patient. Love is kind. It is not jealous.

Love does not brag. It's not arrogant. It does not act unbecomingly. It does not seek its own. It is not provoked.

And here it is. It does not take into account a wrong suffered. Do not take into account logizomai is the Greek word. It's an accounting word. And it means not to credit.

It does not keep an account. I think the King James said reckon. But the idea of it is he said love does not take into account.

It keeps no records. For God so loved the world that he sent his only son. Aren't you just euphoric that God doesn't keep records on your sin?

Remember he said as far as the east is from the west I will remove them. It's like taking them to sea and I will just throw them overboard. Love does not keep an account. Love does not keep an account. What is resentment?

Keeping the account. That's exactly what resentment is. And by the way, there's a lot of resentment in marriage. So it does work for marriage.

Better than even for a wedding. I've seen it. You know what that's like. You get in a fight in a marriage. Don't look pious at me.

I know you people. You fight. If you're not fighting your marriage, one of you is deceased or you don't have any relationship at all. Now, there's always an issue that comes up, right? That causes the conflict. And the idea is you resolve that conflict. Win, lose, or draw, you resolve the conflict.

But did you ever notice something when you get in a conflict in your marriage? Somehow, if one of the parties is losing, they reach in and they pull out an account. And they start going over it. Yeah? Well, this is just like when you did this. And you did that. Aren't you keeping an account here? Isn't that an account? And then the other party goes, oh, my goodness.

I'm going to get my big account out here. And normally, what started out as two peashooters shooting spitballs at each other becomes nuclear. And they're bringing out everything that happens since the day you met. And this is another thing.

Do you know what you're saying to each other? I've harbored resentment against you, and I'm using it. And there's no place for it in Christian life.

There is no place for that. That is resentment. He said, don't fall short of the grace of God. Don't let that root bury in on you.

Don't let that happen to you. Turn to 2 Corinthians 5. I'll give you a theological verse that shows us why. In verse 18, Paul writes, Now all things are from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and he gave us the ministry of reconciliation. That's what God did. He reconciled us through Christ. He brought us and him together through Christ. Sinful people, holy God, come together through Christ. And then he says this, namely, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself. Now, here it is, not counting their trespasses against them.

Logizomai, same word. Not counting their trespasses against them. And he has committed to us the word of reconciliation. You see, resentment shouldn't be part of our spiritual DNA. We love the idea that God has not taken account our sins against him.

He doesn't keep the record. And we shouldn't either. And by the way, it doesn't mean it's easy. But it does mean it's love. Chrysostom, the fourth century church leader, said, a wrong done against love is like a spark that falls into the middle of the sea and is quenched.

Beautiful insight. So, resentment is swallowing poison, waiting for the other person to die. God warns us about resentment. It will defile us.

Physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. We can be resentful of people that hurt us just like David was. We can be resentful of God because of the painful circumstances we're in, just like Job was. So what do we do? It's simple. Tell the Lord, you're feeling resentment.

Let it go. You've been listening to Pastor Bill Gebhardt on the Radio Ministry of Fellowship in the Word. If you ever miss one of our broadcasts, or maybe you would just like to listen to the message one more time, remember that you can go to a great website called OnePlace.com. That's OnePlace.com, and you can listen to Fellowship in the Word online.

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That's fbcnola.org. At our website, you will find hundreds of Pastor Bill's sermons. You can browse through our sermon archives to find the sermon series you are looking for, or you can search by title. Once you find the message you are looking for, you can listen online, or if you prefer, you can download the sermon and listen at your own convenience. And remember, you can do all of this absolutely free of charge. Once again, our website is fbcnola.org. For Pastor Bill Gebhardt, I'm Jason Gebhardt, thanking you for listening to Fellowship in the Word.