Anger In Proverbs, Part 1

Today on Fellowship in the Word, Pastor Bill Gebhardt challenges you to become a fully functioning follower of Jesus Christ. Let's answer some questions. What does God say about anger?

What does He say? And when should I be angry and when should I not be angry? Maybe more importantly, how do you express anger? I think we all know that there's a time when anger brings real problems. If we use it in the wrong way, it's a problem. If it occurs too frequently, it's a problem.

If it lasts too long, it's a problem. And it ends up resulting in so much sinful behavior. Thank you for joining us today on this edition of Fellowship in the Word with Pastor Bill Gebhardt. Fellowship in the Word is the radio ministry of Fellowship Bible Church located in Metairie, Louisiana. Let's join Pastor Bill Gebhardt now as once again he shows us how God's Word meets our world.

I need to do something for this sermon that I've never done before by way of intro, and that is that I have to sort of give a disclaimer to the topic in which I'm going to preach about. And during the holidays, we were doing holiday messages, I began to think about what I wanted to do the first of the year. I started looking in Scripture, found an awful lot of stuff that I was very interested in, found the topic that I wanted to do, and was about to launch it last week. I was going to launch this series last week. Then we had a COVID problem, and so we didn't have church last week. And the disclaimer is that none of the events of this past week had anything to do with this sermon series that I'm about to embark on. You'll find out as I go along just how obvious this is.

Let me start by way of some questions. Have you ever done something that you wished you hadn't done when you're angry? Have you ever said something when you were angry you wish you could take back? Have you ever made a bad decision when you're angry? Have you ever ruined a friendship or a marriage or a family relationship or a business relationship because of anger? Have you ever seen a person hurt because of someone else's anger, physically or emotionally or psychologically? It's amazing what we do when we're angry. Anger produces child abuse, divorce, murder.

Family splits and relationships are severed. I read this past week that anger can be more responsible for heart problems than smoking and high blood pressure. Solomon says in the book of Proverbs, a hot-tempered person commits many sins. And here we are sinful people living on a cursed planet with innumerable opportunities to be angry. We all have triggers that trigger the anger. We feel we've been unfairly treated. We feel blamed by somebody. We feel ignored or misunderstood. We feel belittled or ignored or insignificant. We feel entitled to something and we didn't get it and our expectations aren't met.

Someone gives us unsolicited advice and we feel that someone has treated us in a very condescending way. We are criticized by others. Someone hasn't respected our limits. We're given ultimatums or threats and sometimes we're pushed and slapped and hit. Sometimes our space and territory has been invaded.

Sometimes we don't feel safe. And we get angry. Even to start with, some of you angry right now? Angry? Specifically, we have countless opportunities every day to be angry.

Every single day. Big things and little things. Someone cut you off in line in traffic. You get angry. Someone misunderstood what you said. Someone ignored your feelings. Someone broke your trust. Someone lied to you.

Even the littlest things. Sometimes you find out too late that you're out of toilet paper. And you're angry. The clerk in the store was rude to you. You're in a hurry and you hit red light after red light after red light after red light. Your boss doesn't appreciate you the way he or she should.

Somebody tracked dirt into your freshly cleaned house. The driver in front of you is driving so slow. You get the point. We get off angry. And anger's not good for us or for others.

So I've decided to do a sermon series, that's how much God says about it, on anger. What is anger? American Heritage Dictionary says anger is a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility. I don't know if there are too many words that we have more synonyms for in English than anger. Enraged, furious, indignant, mad, seething, infuriated, aggravated, irate, annoyed, bothered, frustrated, huffy, inflammatory, irascible, provoked, riled up, quick tempered, ticked off, peeved, hot. All synonyms of anger.

So what I'd like to do in this week and the weeks to come is I want to answer some questions. What does God say about anger? What does he say? And when should I be angry and when should I not be angry? Maybe more importantly, how do you express anger? I think we all know that there's a time when anger brings real problems. If we use it in the wrong way, it's a problem. If it occurs too frequently, it's a problem.

If it lasts too long, it's a problem. And it ends up resulting in so much sinful behavior. Some of us even use anger to manipulate our lives and to control people. Some of us use anger to just regurgitate negative emotions that we have. Some of us even use it to relieve stress.

Some of us use it to keep people at a safe distance. Some of us avoid having to face our deeper, more painful problems so we have outbursts of anger. Sometimes we use anger to draw away attention to the real issues in our life. Sometimes we use anger to feel dominant, powerful, and intimidating of others. Sometimes we use it to take revenge. Sometimes we do it, become angry, to avoid change or avoid having to face the unknown.

And a lot of times we use anger to feel superior to others. So today what I want to do is I want to set a foundation for this. I want to deal with the question, what does God think? And I'm going to deal with it virtually all but one verse entirely in one book, the book of Proverbs. And so I'd like you to open your Bible to Proverbs chapter 12. Proverbs chapter 12. Even before the events of this past week or this past month or this past year, it just seems to me that the more I observe this culture, the more I'm convinced that we are a very angry culture. And even more alarming to me is the Church of Jesus Christ is full of angry people.

And that's why I really wanted to address it. He says in Proverbs chapter 12 verse 15, he said, the way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel. A fool's anger is known at once. So if you're one of those nice explosive people, I'm going to let everybody know how I feel. You have outbursts of anger.

I want to give you an assessment from God. You're a fool. That's who you are. He said that's what a fool does. You know right away he's a fool because look how he has outbursts of anger. That's an interesting verse from his point of view. Explosive anger reveals who we are.

Go with me to Proverbs 15 and verse 18. Here Solomon says, a hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute. Are you a calming factor or do you stir up strife?

This is hard for us. We live in a culture, especially through the media of our culture. How many of you turn on national news because you want the person on the news to calm you? I want to be calmed down.

Are we turning on? Why? You're going to stir us up. That's their business. Their business is to stir us up to make you angry.

You see, that's what we do. He says the hot-tempered man stirs up strife. He said that's the way this happens. Thirdly, we can see something else about it in chapter 19 and verse 19. This verse is insightful. Solomon says, a man of great anger shall bear the penalty. That's a principle from God.

He said, for if you rescue him, you only have to do it again. You know what he's saying there? Anger can become your identity. It becomes your identity. Now, you don't want to say that so you hide behind other words.

No, no. I'm just a truth teller. I tell people the truth.

But maybe not the way God intends for you to do that. In the book of Ephesians, Paul says that we are to speak the truth in love. Now, what's interesting is I know a lot of truth speakers and I've never had a hint of love from them. I just tell the truth.

And by the way, there are people that only speak words of love because they're afraid that those words won't be accepted and they'll be rejected so they never tell someone the truth. There's a balance there. But the point of it is, is what he is saying right here that I think is pretty fascinating, it'll draw a penalty.

If you rescue him, you only have to do it again. This is a very important point that I'll get to a little bit later and more so. When we are angry, we almost always justify it.

I mean almost always. When you're angry or I'm angry, you justify your anger. And I hope after you see what God says, you're going to find out you don't have any justification. You think you do. I have a right to be angry.

Maybe not as much as you think. You see, and we'll talk about that in a moment, but he says that becomes the person's identity. You keep rescuing him and he keeps going back to the same thing. For some of you, anger has been that sin that so easily entangles you. You have faced angry outbursts your whole life. You see, that becomes a very important thing. Let's look at chapter 22 and verse 25 of Proverbs.

24 and 25 actually. Here is what Solomon writes. Here is the first thing he says. Do not associate with a man given to anger or go with a hot-tempered man.

What's God telling us? Stay away from angry people. Stay away. That's in your personal life.

That actually would be just as true through media. Stay away from angry people. He's going to tell you why.

He said, or you will learn his ways and find a snare for yourself. Anger is contagious. You ever heard of things like mob rule? You see a mob of people and they turn what? They turn into chaos.

Why? The anger is contagious. Everyone is getting fired up. Anger becomes a contagious thing. You might have grown up in a very explosive household, and you might be explosive yourself. Studies have shown that, for instance, people were in anger when their children were abused by their parents or their father have a much greater chance of doing what to their own children? Abusing.

Outburst of anger. God says it's contagious. Anger is contagious.

See, that's the point of it. You can be contagious and get a whole group of people, or a nation even, following you. If you just listen to or read the messages that Adolf Hitler said from the late 1920s through the 1930s of his anger and frustration, and a whole nation believed him. A whole nation bought into it. One of the things I had read years ago that was really disturbing when it came to Hitler was over 80% of what we would call born-again evangelical Christians in Germany supported Hitler.

Right up to the war. How? He's a madman. An angry madman.

But it started working. It's contagious. He says you've got to be careful of that.

Don't associate with people who are like that. Go to chapter 29 with me. And God's pretty clear here. He says in verse 22, an angry man stirs up strife and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression. Anger results in, I'll be clear as I can, sin. Anger results in sin.

That's what happens when we're angry. It's dangerous for us. We are sinful people. The reason it becomes sinful and goes over the top is Jeremiah talks about it in Jeremiah 17, 9. Jeremiah says, the heart of a man is desperately wicked. It is deceitful above all things. Well, that's my heart, my soulless nature. Or sometimes you say my gut.

He said, yeah. It's desperately wicked. And it's deceitful above everything else. Who does your heart deceive?

You. So now you can see how you justify your anger. See, my heart's telling me I'm going to be angry here.

I wouldn't listen to your heart. You see, you've got to be careful with that because it's going to result in sins. That's why I started off by saying, have you ever done things, said things, when you're angry you wish you hadn't?

Of course we all have. That's the point. That's what happens when we become angry. So there are dangerous consequences to handling anger in the wrong way.

But there are some benefits in expressing it correctly. Go with me to Proverbs 15, verse 1. Here Solomon says, a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

He said, the tongue of the wise make knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spout folly. How do you feel about that verse when you're angry? Is that a verse you ever think about when you're angry, when God says a gentle answer will turn away wrath? No, huh? Not when I'm angry.

That's the way this works. He said, but a harsh word's going to stir up more anger. Well, where I've seen this over the years is in all the years I've done marriage counseling and marriages that are struggling, the pattern is so clear. Conflict in marriage is an interesting thing. Most of the time in marriages are struggling, the conflict is not major yet.

It's somewhere minor. But every time you have another conflict, it escalates. I've said this often as an analogy, but it almost starts out like a couple was just sort of throwing spitballs at each other. Hey, hey, so you and me with spitball, what am I going to do? I'm going to hit you with one. Then you go from spitballs and then someone brings out a club, and then you bring out your club, and then they bring out a gun.

Now, they have these because you have a history together and you injustice together and you remember all these things. And then you bring out a gun. Next thing you know, you have cannons and finally it's nuke.

And then you can tell when that explodes. You start screaming words like always and never. Always. You always do this. You never do this.

Let me give you some piece of advice. Only God always and nevers. He's the only being that always does the same thing and never does anything else.

Not your spouse. What caused that? Escalation.

You see, what caused that? And we justify it. You see, that idea that that becomes an extremely important part of this whole thing. A gentle answer turns away wrath. Harsh words stir up anger. That's why they call a whole section of counseling conflict resolution. You see, you have to know how to resolve the conflict.

Now, I will say this. One of the funniest things I ever heard was when I was graduating seminary, a guy wrote a book who was considered to be a Christian expert on marriage. And he had one little book. It wasn't real thick, but it was all in conflict resolution. And he said that he figured out the key how to stop conflict in your homes.

I thought, well, this is worth knowing for everybody, including me. And he said, he and his wife, when a conflict is rising, they always ask permission from their spouse to express their anger. When I'm angry, I'm not looking for permission. And if my wife said to me, could I have permission, what do you think I'd say? No. I mean, you ask for permission, you ask an angry person, can I have permission? Come on.

That sounds fine. But that doesn't work, because when we're angry, that's the point. We find ourselves extremely angry. Secondly, look at chapter 30 with me and verse 33. Beautiful analogy. Solomon writes in 33, for the churning of milk produces butter.

I love the second one. The pressing of the nose will bring forth blood. If I just put my thumb on your nose and keep pressing long enough, I could get some blood out of there. He said, so the churning of anger produces strife. Anger makes things worse. Worse for the people you're angry at and worse for you. It makes things worse. It doesn't make things better. That's what God's saying.

You can't do it that way. There is spiritual benefit, but only in expressing anger the right way. There are dangerous consequences that can be mishandled. But most importantly, what I want to say this morning is this.

This is very important. To be able to express anger correctly, or even to have anger correctly, you have to see life the way God does. You have to see life the way God is.

And I'm going to tell you, if you're like me or almost everyone I know, you don't do this. You don't see life the way God says. You've been listening to Pastor Bill Gebhardt on the Radio Ministry of Fellowship in the Word. If you ever miss one of our broadcasts, or maybe you would just like to listen to the message one more time, remember that you can go to a great website called OnePlace.com. That's OnePlace.com, and you can listen to Fellowship in the Word online.

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Support for our ministry can be sent to Fellowship in the Word 4600 Clearview Parkway, Metairie, Louisiana 7006. If you would be interested in hearing today's message in its original format, that is as a sermon that Pastor Bill delivered during a Sunday morning service at Fellowship Bible Church, then you should visit our website, fbcnola.org. That's F-B-C-N-O-L-A dot O-R-G. At our website, you will find hundreds of Pastor Bill's sermons. You can browse through our sermon archives to find the sermon series you are looking for, or you can search by title. Once you find a message you are looking for, you can listen online. Or if you prefer, you can download the sermon and listen at your own convenience. And remember, you can do all of this absolutely free of charge. Once again, our website is fbcnola.org. For Pastor Bill Gebhardt, I'm Jason Gebhardt, thanking you for listening to Fellowship in the Word.