Before we get started today, we've got an important announcement.
It's a birthday. On this day, 30 years ago, Family Life Today started. Yeah, 30 years ago, Dennis and Bob launched Family Life Today as a radio program with, I think, like 40 stations. And now it's all over the world. And we got to thank Dennis and Bob, first of all. This would have never happened apart for them and our listeners. Thank you for staying with us. Some of you for 30 years, even after Ann and I jumped in.
Yeah, thank you. We got to thank God. He is the one that laid the foundation. He's the one we follow. He's the one that gives us hope for our families. We want to thank him today, too.
So happy birthday, and here's to another 30. All right, so I'm going to see if you know this. I'm guessing you do. The top three things that marriages fight over, have conflict over. I know you're going to say money. Money, sex, in-laws.
Wow. It's money, sex, kids, in-laws, and money. Oh, in-laws was up there.
I just made it up. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.
And I'm Dave Wilson, and you can find us at familylifetoday.com or on our Family Life app. This is Family Life Today. I don't know. I have no idea, but I know money is always, and it is.
Yeah, it's one of the top things. So we're not going to have conflict today about money. We're going to talk about it, though. We're going to get some help.
With some experts who are good at money management, wrote a book on it that we'll introduce in a minute. But anyway, we got Bob and Linda Ladak back in the studio. We need your help. So we're doing a whole other day, and I know our listeners need your help as well. So welcome back. Yeah, thanks for having us. We're excited to be back. It's been a fun journey and very, I think, really helpful. It's super fun.
When you talk about money, it's not always fun, but you guys are really fun. We're trying to make it fun. Yeah, that is the goal. As much as possible.
Why not? You're getting it done. Yeah, a lot of people don't when they talk about money. So your book's called Simple Money Rich Life, Achieve True Financial Freedom and Design a Life of Eternal Impact.
And I love the 21-day kickstart, figuring out where you're spending your money. You have a way to do that. We can buy your book and do it, and I hope our listeners do buy your book. But how else can I do that?
Sure, yeah. We just have a page on our website. It's called seedtime.com slash cashflow.
All one word, cashflow. I like all those words. You just go there and I have a video kind of showing how to do what we were talking about yesterday, tracking your spending, and it just kind of breaks down exactly what to do.
So if you don't want to write it all down on paper or on your notes app on your phone, which that works as well, this is a great option to consider as well. All right. So today, we're going to have some fun. We actually have our producer, Jim Mitchell, in the studio.
Yes. He's usually on the other side of the glass talking about us, but he's actually in the room. He's an amazing producer. And this has never happened, by the way.
This is a first, so you guys must have hit a nerve. Jim Mitchell, welcome to Family Life Today in studio. Thank you. Hey, guys. Good to meet you. And what are you doing in here? You guys got my wheels turning.
This is a good couple of days we've heard so far. Jim, our producer has been married to Lisa. How many years?
Twenty, just turned 28. Have you guys ever fought about money? Only every day. Only when we talk about money. We definitely have, yeah, we have conflict over money. I'm a spender.
I don't like thinking about planning ahead. Any of that. And she is craving that so much. And she's been telling me 28 years to spend more time and get more attention to it. So, yeah, I'm all ears to this one. All right. Great. We're going to try to help. But you've come up with some questions for us today.
Yeah. Well, Dave kicked this off with, we're not going to have conflict today, but I'm going to try and stir the pot a little bit because I know we have a couple of spenders at the table and a couple of savers. And so I'm going to throw some questions, just three questions at you one at a time. I want you to think of your answer and we'll just go around and hear. Okay.
Hear if there's a distinction between the two. I'm last. You're last. Here's all right.
Question one. At the end of the month, you have an extra 200 bucks. What do you do with it? You give some and you save the rest. Oh, come on. That's like the answer that you're supposed to give.
Give the real answer. No, that's what I would do. What?
No question. In my mind, I would thank God that he's given us a couple hundred more dollars than we needed. And I would give at least 20, maybe 40, so 10 to 20% of that.
How are you right now? If I gave you $200, you would do that? Especially now at this stage in our life where, you know, we're headed toward retirement. Oh.
We need that money. I just want to answer. I'm not saying it's the right answer.
You're so spiritual. That's a true answer. Dave's got the whole answer. Well, what would you spend it on? I want to hear what Bob says.
Wait, wait, wait. What would you spend the money on that you didn't give away to Jesus? What would you spend it on? I told you I'm going to save it.
You're saving the whole thing? I've got everything I need. That's not even fun.
She's sitting right here. Oh, that's a good answer. All right, Bob, do you know your answer?
Sure. That's a whole lot less spiritual. But I would probably take Linda out on a nice date. Oh, this is a good answer. I would do that too.
I'm winning at points. I wouldn't take Linda out. I'd take Ann out. Okay.
Thank goodness. My answer is pretty simple. I would not have $200 left over at the end of the month. It wouldn't happen. I'm exempt from this one. No, come on.
You have to be good at something. What if I gave it to you today? Well, why would it be gone? I just have a running list in my head of what I need to buy next.
If you gave it to me right now, I'd spend it that fast. Really? On. Oh, yeah.
On. Ann wants to know. I don't know whatever I feel like spending it on at the time. I think I would take 100 of that and I would spend it on our grandkids.
Yeah, she would. Or just some friend or somebody. We're going to somebody's house for dinner tonight and they have some kids. I'd probably buy something for those kids to take with me. And then I would take, if there's anything left, I'd put it in my pocket and I would just say, Lord, if there's somebody that needs this money, just leave me to them. You way overspend one month.
What happens at the start of the next month? We would just brush it off. I would probably have to figure out where to pull the overspending. And we would just go at it again. Try to do better this month. Yeah. My first thing would be I would tell Bob, whoops.
I would return it, but I can't. And just say, well, what should we do now? So we have specific budgeting categories for everything. So if we overspend, we either have a deficit. So it's like the next month we just get less money in that category. Or if it's way more than that, if we can't do that, then it's like, all right, we just need to find some more money. I call this magic money because somehow he gets money that I don't know where it's coming from.
We need to clarify this. Magic money. But I call it magic money because I'm not paying as much attention as he is. So in my mind, if there's any money that I'm like, where did that come from? Linda doesn't know all of our accounts and everything set up. And so because she doesn't, anything she doesn't know about, she calls magic money.
This is not because he's hiding it. I like the magic money. It's my choice. I know, right? Magic money.
It's a good term. I need some magic money. Right.
What's yours, Dave? Well, yeah. I mean, first of all, I'd be like, we got to spend less next month. But I think, you know me, I'd be like, hey, what can I sell on Facebook Marketplace? You totally would do that. I would. We got stuff that we don't need.
And I guarantee I could find you a couple hundred bucks, probably more, in a couple hours. Yeah. You know? So one of those guitars.
One of those? So fun fact. I don't know if you, I remember reading this in an article and I don't know if this is true, but I'll just, I read this in an article on a reputable news site.
And somebody did a study and they found that the average American household has $7,000 worth of stuff that can be sold on Facebook Marketplace or whatever. Really? That's crazy to think about. It is.
You know? So we've done this. We've challenged ourselves. We did one of the month, one month challenges we did was I tried to round up everything in the house I could find to sell. We made over $2,100 in one month. Wow.
Just selling a whole bunch of junk I had found around the house. And we've done that a couple different times. So it's like, I almost believe it. You know, the big number of that. Let's do that. We have enough stuff in our attic that we could build a city. Yeah. We're getting a dumpster and just going to throw it away. But maybe we should sell some of it. Yeah. I think I would.
Yeah, we didn't hear your answer. I would be hiding in shame. I'd feel so guilty.
That would be my first thing. This just kind of happened. I was at our son's, they were out of town and I thought I'm going to mow his grass for him. And it's the first time.
This did cause tension. In the spring. And so his grass is so long and I'm thinking, why hasn't he mowed his grass? It go into his garage and I like to do this kind of stuff. And I try to get the mower started and this thing will not start. So I text him, he's in France. And I said, hey, why won't your mower start? I'm not in France. My son is. Yeah.
You're going to hear where the story goes. Oh, you have to mix the oil. This is one every time you put the gas in. I haven't mixed the oil for the new season in the gas. And so you need to go get this oil and this is bad on my part. But I'm like, I'm not going to get the oil. I'm going to go get a new lawnmower because this thing's a piece of junk.
That's what I'm going to do. So I come home. I don't ask Dave. I tell him, here's what I say. I work and I'm going to go buy him a new mower.
I'm going to buy him an electric mower. I don't even hear his response because I don't want to hear it. And I just get in the car. And this is that self-righteous prideful. I work hard.
I should get to spend my money the way I want to. And so I go to Home Depot. And while she's going to Home Depot, by the way, guess what I'm doing? I'm on Home Depot's app, looking up mowers and find out how much these things cost.
I heard her say where she's going and I'm going to find out, are we spending $1,000? He is also on Facebook Marketplace looking for a used mower. Oh, I'd already made a couple of offers in 20 minutes for brand new mowers, never used, never unboxed. And I'm not saying I'm right in this situation. I was just frustrated and I wanted to get the job done quickly. And I thought he was going to love this thing. And he did. So then I come home and we start talking about it.
And it wasn't going well. You weren't yelling or anything, but this is typical for me to go buy something for somebody. But then you guys, I get magic money.
It's not magic. This is to me, I call it God money. I get a check in the mail because I told him like, I just wanted to do it.
This would be so fun. I get a check in the mail from some random lawsuit that's taken place. And I get a check for $350 the next day. And I say to Dave, Jesus loves when I buy things for people. And now he can't even use a God card. So he can't even say anything.
He's the God card. Take that. Yes. That it is a really good mower.
All right. Yeah, because family life values marriages so much. I'm going to throw this one in just as a kind of a redemptive question.
What do you love most about your spouse's approach to money? I'll go first on this one. I love that you care about this because I don't. I love that you are thinking about it and you're wanting to do something about it. And that makes me feel secure.
Well, I'll go second. Then I really do love your giving spirit. You are a giver, not just to God. And you know, we've always started at 10% and tried to increase that to our church and to ministry and the family life. But beyond that, you know, not just to our kids, but to a stranger to like you guys, you have the seed account. We need to start that.
That would be a really wise because I don't even know how much she gives beyond what I know we give. But that's a beautiful thing. Thanks.
Yeah. I mean, I love it and I hate it because every time it goes out, I'm like, you know, the numbers just went down, but it's a beautiful thing. And we could be one couple to say God is always 42 years now provided. You know, in some ways, often miraculous, like I got you like that little magic money check. The time you bought that lady's groceries in Walmart, which I went nuts. Like you literally turned around and bought her entire thing.
And the next day a check came from nowhere for over $1,000 that I never saw coming. I think praying about that, like when we pray and tell God, like I'm so afraid about our finances. I love that he's in tune to that. I love that he cares about it with us and wants to provide and wants to give us wisdom.
And I love that he's given a passion to couples like you to write books to help us. Yeah. Yeah.
But no, and I think that's one of the coolest things is that God wants to be involved in our financial situation. Yeah. And like, why not invite him into that area of our life? Because I think so many of us like separate and segment our lives and don't really invite him in that spot. Yeah.
And I think that we're far better. What do you guys love about each other financially? So one of the things I was actually just telling you about this when we took a little break, but I can't remember which day it was that I mentioned how I cried a lot in the beginning. And I remember one time in particular, where, you know, we had just reduced our expenses. And I remember there was an event that we had and I wanted something new to wear. And I felt like I needed it. It was one of those things where it was like, I really kind of need this, but not enough to blow our budget over, you know?
Every woman can identify with that statement. Absolutely, right? Yes.
And I remember just crying and being like, Bob, I don't like, what am I supposed to do? And instead of him just going, it's not that big of a deal. Or how many dresses do you have? Right.
How fast do you have in the closet? Exactly. And she keeps revealing our little secrets here.
There it is again. Instead of doing that, he said, okay, I'll go shopping with you and we'll find a way to make something happen. And so he ended up helping me.
We found something that was on sale that actually fit in my budget. And so he didn't just, like he had compassion on my hard time. So I didn't feel like I was doing this on my own.
I didn't feel like it was all me that needed to change, that he was willing to adapt and help me and walk through it with me. Does that make sense? Yeah.
Yeah, that's good. Way to go, Bob. Way to go, me.
Way to go, you. Because even though he, like he doesn't spend money the way I do. And so he doesn't care about the same things I do. And he's not judging what you're spending it on.
No, but he was showing, okay, but I care about it because you care about it. One of the interesting things that God did for me, because we came, we got married and I'm the math guy, of course, like we've established. I'm the one who kind of created our budget and all that stuff. And I just assumed, all right, she is running around spending our money like no other.
And therefore she doesn't have much value to add to our financial life. And so I'm just going to do this. I got the numbers. This is math. This is black and white. My way's right.
Like this is what it is. And God really showed me, put me in my place and just revealed that she has a whole lot of value, not to the marriage, not just to the marriage, but also to our financial life specifically where I'm like, how, like how, how is that possible? And in like, I had a lot that I needed to learn from her. But that required some level of humility because again, I thought I was right. I thought this is math.
It's black and white, you know? But in that, God came to show me that I am too much of a hoarder. I have too much of a tendency to just save everything up for the future. And her just willingness and desire to enjoy the blessings that he's given us, to trust that God's going to provide. Whereas I might have a tendency to trust in how big our savings account is, might lean more in that direction. Like she has something that's been of a lot of value to me. And as I've allowed her to rub off on me, like our marriage has gotten better. Our financial situation is getting better. And it's like, we still save. And, you know, in that, in my yielding to her on that, she's yielded in my direction and has worked to whatever, control your spending a little bit more and to stay within budget and things like that. And so it's really been a great thing that God has just brought us to a more healthy balance. But all that to say, I just appreciate the way that she spends money now.
Whereas it was a point of contention before and now I see the value in it. I see the value in whatever, being spontaneous and looking for ways to spend money in moments and things like that. I mean, is that where you develop part of your four steps, you know, save all you can, earn all you can, give all you can. And then that last one, which a lot of people never say is enjoy it all. Is that part of what you've gotten from Linda?
That's been, yeah, she literally added that part to the book. Like when we were kind of coming up with the concept, you know, this whole idea, and this is so much of the value that she adds to what we do, is just this component of enjoying money, but also doing it without guilt and shame into breaking that part off. Because we've just seen so much of that. So many people are carrying so much guilt and shame about finances in their marriage, in their personal lives. And that's a big part. And I would add, you tell me if this is true. I think that a lot of guilt and shame, a lot of Christians carry. Oh, yeah. Because there's a tendency to think we should never really enjoy possessions, things, sets, idols, and they can be.
They can be, for sure. But it's always like, if I have an extra dollar, it goes to God. I don't buy a nice dress. I don't buy a nice pair of shoes.
I live very simply. And again, I'm not saying any of that's wrong, because a lot of that is true. But often, I feel like Christians never celebrate and enjoy. Like, enjoy it. It's okay.
Yeah. Well, I think you kind of see the two extremes where you've got this prosperity gospel of, if you don't have a lot of money, then there's something wrong with your spiritual life. And then there's, if you have too much, there's something wrong with your spiritual life. But both of these are missing the whole point, which is that God's always after our hearts first.
It doesn't matter how much money we have if He doesn't have our heart. So on either extreme, it doesn't really matter. That's how I see it. So you see some people that are extremely wealthy, and then you see some people who are missionaries and living in an impoverished nation, and they're supposed to be there. If you give them a million dollars and they live in a mansion when they're in, they lose their credibility. You know what I mean?
Like, it's dangerous for them, probably. And it's just not the right thing. So it's like, I don't think it really matters how much money you have. I think that it matters what your heart is doing along the way. And maybe that's the biggest take home of asking yourself, does God have our heart?
Yeah, that's good. That's a common denominator that I see as I look all throughout the New Testament about money, is it's like this idea of our hearts. You know, are we going to serve Mammon or are we going to serve God? And of course none of us are going to say, well, yeah, I'm going to go serve Mammon.
Like none of us are going to say that. But like, how are we making decisions? Like when we get a job offer, is the answer simply it pays more and so I'm just taking it?
You know what I mean? Because that can be, I know for me, that's been a God convicting me of you're serving Mammon when that is your answer, it pays more so I'm going to go do it, rather than asking God and prayerfully deciding, you know, what the thing is we're going to do. Anyway, so yeah, I think so much of it just comes back to our heart. But there's also, there's two parts of this. Like there's two different people who are listening on both of these extremes. And so I think the answer changes a lot to depending on, you know, what that person is and what they need in that moment, you know?
Well, here's a tension question. You know, as I'm sitting here with a couple who's written about this and has really gone on a journey with God to get a handle on your money in a good way, and you're helping others now. Now, if a person says, my life is about Jesus, he's everything. And they don't give more than 2%, because that's the average in the American church. I know as a pastor, most of my congregation gave less than 2%. I didn't look at the numbers, I just know that's true in America.
And yet they would say, Jesus is everything. Mm-hmm. What do you think of that?
Is that true? I'm throwing that out to the money guys. Here's the thing, part of what we try to do with what we communicate is communicate something about the joy of giving. Because I was never motivated by guilt, shame, obligation to give more. Like, I might have done it feeling obligated, you know, or whatever the thing might be.
But that never motivated me. But once I discovered like the joy of giving, and I know that sounds like squishy Christian talk, but I guess once I realized like, honestly, how to hack our way, you know, and that's a lot of what we talk about. Like, what are the like simple systems we can put in place to make giving more fun? And as we've done that, like, we've just had more of a desire to give more.
You know what I mean? And so addressing that person only giving 2%, I mean, I guess my thing that I would say is, you know, you don't have to give more, but there's an opportunity here. And I think also when we see ourselves and we understand that we're eternal beings, and we see beyond this life, and we understand like, what's at stake, we understand that when we give, like we're storing up treasures in heaven, whatever that means.
Like, I don't know what that means exactly. But I'm also like, there's something here. There's some incentive that God has laid out for us in terms of our giving.
Like, why not lean into that and take advantage of that? If we're just on earth for a short sliver of our entire existence, and we get to store up treasures for eternity. Like, there's a quote from Randy Elkhorn that I love where he said, the greatest deterrent to giving is the illusion that earth is our home. To me, that just stirs me up to want to give more and to, you know what I mean?
Like, it's like, if you're just on a vacation for one week out of the year, it's like, you understand this is just a short window. And it's like, that's what our life on earth is in the scope of eternity, you know? That's good. Yeah, and I mean, we sit here in the studio, and we are a donor-based ministry. And we're here because our listeners give. And that is an incredible blessing.
Even to sit here, it's a privilege, but I feel this responsibility. We need to honor their sacrificial giving. They believe in this ministry, and we need to make sure we do it well. We're stewards of God's money that He's given to them. And they say, I believe in family life, I'm going to give. Mm-hmm.
And even as I say that, if you're listening and you're a giver, thank you. I mean, we do not take this lightly. Thank you. We know what it means to write a check or make a donation digitally. It's a big deal.
Yeah. And it does say, Jesus does matter, marriages matter, families matter, and I want to get behind that. And I'm glad you guys are here because we didn't just talk about money, we talked about family and marriage. You've been so helpful to our listeners. Thanks. Yeah, it's our pleasure. It's an honor.
Yeah. You're listening to David and Wilson with Bob and Linda Lottick on Family Life Today, along with our very own executive producer, Jim Mitchell. And actually Jim's got a personal story of how prayer made all the difference in a recent disagreement he and his wife were having.
So stick around for that and see if you can relate. But first, we'd love to send you a copy of Bob and Linda Lottick's book. It's called Simple Money, Rich Life. It's our thanks to you when you partner financially today with us. You can give online at FamilyLifeToday.com or by giving us a call at 800-358-6329. That's 800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today.
Okay. Here's Family Life Today's executive producer, Jim Mitchell, with a story about the power of prayer when you're not seeing eye to eye with your spouse. As I listen to y'all answering question three and esteeming one another, I was thinking about the Bible says two are better than one. That is like really easy to agree with when she's doing the things that I like. I totally get it.
Like, yep, two are better than one for sure right now. It's really hard whenever we're different and she's not doing what I would naturally do or what I want her to do. Lisa and I were in an argument here recently, and we'd given each other the cold shoulder, that's what we do, for a good day or two, just the bare minimum conversations to get through the day, and then I'm reinforced. I'm still mad at you.
You know I'm still mad at you. We got to like day three and I was like, we can't keep doing this. So I'm like, okay, as the husband, I do not want to do this, but I want to initiate something that might warm this. And I just said, sweetheart, come in here. Can we just lay down and pray together? And so we come in the bedroom, we lay down on the bed. We are visibly still mad at each other.
We're laying apart and I'm looking the other way, like I'm giving her as big of a spiritual cold shoulder as I can. And I said, all right, let's just try this. Let's just pray and acknowledge to God what's been happening. And then let's just pray something that we like about each other.
And it was pathetic. It was like, let's just try it. Let's just try that. Let's try and find something that we like about each other again. And we did it and we laid down and prayed. And so we got to acknowledge before God. So I guess it's a three-person conversation at that point and not two people fighting, but we just acknowledged, I was so mad that this happened or I've been doing this and I'm not happy about it.
Forgive me. And then she went and then I went and said, Lord, this is what I love about my wife. And as we did that, as we articulated the things that we loved, it just warmed the room. It just warmed this relationship again. And it warmed your heart. It warmed my heart toward her.
The hand came across in the bed and touched me and it reconnected us. And I'm just thinking about as we listen today, just if we're at odds about finances and we just don't see eye to eye, like you keep spending and I keep trying to get us to save of just like two are better than one. And I heard you guys doing that as you, as you honored one another, I realize your marriage is stronger because you're different. But if we don't talk about those things, all we see is what's different and what I don't like about you. And tomorrow on Family Life Today, David and Wilson are joined by Tim Kimmel and Michael Tucker to talk about Michael's battle to succeed at work while simultaneously compromising his relationships with the people closest to him. You won't want to miss that on behalf of David and Wilson. I'm Shelby Abbott. We'll see you back next time for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a production of Family Life, a crew ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.
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