This broadcaster has 595 podcast archives available on-demand.
Keep up-to-date with this broadcaster on social media and their website.
May 11, 2022 10:00 pm
Learning how to parent can feel part adventure, part battle, part dumpster fire. Dave & Ann Wilson have your back with solid advice & practical application.
Show Notes and Resources
Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife's app!
Check out all the Familylife's on the FamilyLife Podcast Network
Where to get started here in a minute.
But before we do, we wanted to bring you our listeners into something we feel like it's really important… Critically important that I don't know if our listeners even understand this, but we are a listener, financially supported ministry that generous listeners and donors like you give one-time gifts or even monthly to make this possible.
Doesn't happen without donors like yourself and here's the exciting thing is right now we have a spring match which means anything you give monthly will be double and so were looking for family life partners owes our monthly partners who said I want to be a part of helping change marriages families all over the world and I want to jump in and when you jump in at any amount. It's going to be double for 12 months, which is remarkable.
Yeah, that's amazing. The think that I could write a check, make a donation in literally change somebody's life.
So go to family life today.com you can sign up right there jump and be come one of our partners there some pretty cool of benefits that will share with you later that you get but I just want to say you can make a difference by just donating today go to family life today.com and make a donation right there. It could change a family's legacy.
I think there's a fierce battle going on in our country. Oh, I don't the Gabe. I disagree with that done about Colville Galilean, but I do think I'm talking about. I think most people want to hear that would think you know the pandemic that we've been walking through for over a year, or the protestant things going on the street politically. Our differences now.
I think that's what you're talking now. Welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue relationships that matter most time and Wilson and Dave Wilson and you can find us if we live today.com or on our family life, family life today.
I was thinking if there is a fierce battle going on over the hearts.
Of our sons and our daughters, which is not a new battle now. It's an battle that's been raging for the beginning of time, and yet I felt when we got married and started having kids. I felt ill equipped to engage in the battle because I wasn't sure what we were trying to do. You know, I just got married thinking work and be happy invigorate happy kids and successful man there is so much more to it than that. Isn't there yet. I don't think we had a clue when we got married.
Although I do remember sitting at the weekend to remember downtown Chicago in a ballroom and was the first time I ever heard that concept that your marriage is not taking place on a romantic balcony, but at the center of a spiritual war in that very concept. I've never thought of. I had never thought of that either. And then take that into parenting right.
How do you think that relates to us as parents.
Does that put fear in you thinking that there is also a battle raging for the hearts of our sons. Now I get excited other some about me as a man it says I want to be in a battle I will fight when I don't hide in the bunker I Ivy I do too, but I want to defend that I want to send warriors into that battle because it it's epic.
It's about eternity and again was things we learned early in our marriage is it's not about us.
We get the opportunity to multiply a godly legacy and that's exciting to think you know I was sorta handed a God less legacy and we get to change that. The Wilson name can be about warriors going into the battle and so parents I love what he said I care excited and I think I could be driven, especially with teenagers.
With so much fear of how the culture will affect our kids and yet I look at what you just had and I think I'll now that's what I want to have that idea.
Like all were raising warriors or just men and women that will impact our culture positively for the kingdom of Christ, and we sure didn't do that perfectly, but we tried in actually wrote a book with that was the whole purpose is called no perfect parents, but it really was. We hope to inspire parents to a higher vision of a grander vision of not just trying to raise happy, well-adjusted, popular kids, nothing wrong with any of that. But warriors to send to a spiritual battle that's real. And so it was sorta fun to go back to our church that I pastor for 30 years and speak on you know the book but really to inspire the parents and the families in our church to a higher calling it what you trying to raise and how do you raising warriors. So this is a message we gave and hopefully you will be inspired to do what God's call did.
It was apparent that send the warrior warriors into a real and overview some of your parents some of your parents and your kids are grown and their job back, and some you may got pregnant last night. You don't know your you're like yeah I remember the Wilson's are a little while well you get parents 35 years ago right and we were not prepared for the money.
I can look at some of you have kids you don't yet all different circumstances in the room but for we had kids. I thought I think Sharon really did try to prepare yourself as much as you can before you have kids and so I'm pregnant. Living in California and I heard of the Bible study for just mom down the street that were young moms so I might go to that I got all dressed up wanting to impress them and I going the door and I thought what is happening. It was like World War II was going off in this room. Kids are screaming moms are talking really loud. Smells like like running her shoulder and a curio ponytail in the back of her head on and I really thought this is the pipe apart before you have kids. I thought, it's graceful, you know how many of you I never liked your hand well is this what you see teenagers and your kids are younger might might never be like to know what happened but I realize like I became everyone of those mom in the room. I really didn't care because when you're, you're just you don't even realize how the capacity to love someone that much and then you also realize how you feel so frustrated and angry and you think I don't even know what I'm doing as we can remember back. You don't prepare may just mixing your parent yesterday your work that you are in your supposed to do this book it up but I remember when we had our first born CJ I was walking through the hospital behind and she was with one of the hospital, doctors, or nurse or something. I looked down or something hanging off her heel and as I get closer realize it's her underwear were flopping around like your life really anybody in the hospital but I do remember bringing our first baby home CJ and I member standing above him in the crib literally looking at him as he sleeping for those three minutes that he actually slept thinking how I view that did have a dad driven over the file. I didn't have any idea. I like where's the parenting manual for this. The truth is, there actually is one. It's a pretty good what's called the Bible that I grew up not really read the Bible. I was dragged church. But my mom and insert read the Bible, so I became a follower of Christ. My junior college and had no idea that the Bible was really relevant to practical issues in our life like marriage and family and parenting did you pick it up. By the way, I'm not saying that the families in the Bible are the kind of families you want to copy the most dysfunctional families you'll ever read about any book.
I'm not kidding. There just don't don't copy those families. But the truth about family and parenting are literally life-changing. Here's a passage that we sort of base our book on Psalm 127, where the psalmist is writing just a perspective about children.
He says this behold, children are a gift of the Lord, by the way, for some of us parents, we need to be reminded the person sit beside right now she's a gift how your child was conceived by their plan or not that child yes yeah this is the fruit of the woman as a reward, like arrows in the hands of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them that the pasties are like arrows even highlighted that arrows in the hands of the warriors or children you should target whether it's an animal or bull's-eye. Whatever is the same thing with children's like you step back and think what are we launching these children toward so one thing to try to do it. Our book is try to. The subtitle is the one secret that will change your parent marriage book was the one secret change your marriage. It was really as you might remember we almost lost her marriage at your 10 realize you gotta go vertical/covert versus the secret and parenting is the same thing. The vertical aspect we were to call vertical parenting but our publisher said no you guys write about all your flaws.
It's sort of like mistake after mistake. So I called no perfect parents and our kids rode in it, so they get to tell you what worked and what didn't work but we try to circuit. What's the secret. The secret besides building your house on the rock of Jesus Christ is knowing what your launching your children toward here's a question most parents don't never ask if your young parent or about to become apparent that I'm in your urine for you gases question right now and write it down. I'm not getting, or take notes or take picture of what is basically this what do we want our child to be as an adult when there what is it that were shooting what is the arrow being launched what we call a bull's-eye to cover the book as a bunch arrows missing the bull's-eye you've heard that old adage if you aim at nothing and I think you get the demands of life you just making it through the day.
Yes, you don't have a plan. What happens is the truth. Our children are being discipled. Whether we know it or not we have a plan of what were doing disciple means mentor mentor and if we don't have a plan. Our culture is mentoring our kids and so you can love that or not like it but the truth is there being swayed there being poured into buyer culture. And so for his parents should put this like passion in your heart like now like I kids to experience all that God has for them. I want them to become God created them to be, because God has a kids just that he has for us to discover they are really easy to not even realize that his parents were being sort of mentor by the cultures welcome most versus okay you got a three-year-old you got 18-year-old or six-year-old. What is it you're hoping they'll become as men or women. Most parents have never answered the question. Well hope you're happy or successful. Sometimes you hear all the popular when you step back okay one of those words mean. Do we really want what success what's happy what's so I think the Bible has a better mission, a better bull's-eye. So we took that as sort of apparent manual says so what is it that were trying to give you the Wilson parenting bull's-eye that we try to raise our kids by the way our kids never know what this was a radio and are in our cohost called Cody and he said Cody your parents are on the radio right now talking about their bull's-eye hold, but they're trying to raise you to be just, you know, I have no idea what it is important that you know I understand that sometimes there's disagreements here between mom and dad about this, and sometimes your single mom like my mom was and you're doing this alone or single bed so but you you need to sit down and say okay to be this perfectly stated little thing but it's like what are we trying to raise all is walking through ours because our little statement should be yours is just an example. Each word matters and they can start a defined what we call the four stages of parenting from little kids to adults we don't have time but were just a quick overview and you're going to frustrate his back. I'm in the staging spend more time there.
We can't so bull's-eye okay this is an example of what we tried to hit and again we did hit parts called no perfect parents and the kids because it's just something you're trying to hit you gotta know what you're aiming for. Ours is simply this train and launch L3 warriors who make a dent where they are sent doctors that you really like how you understand Those words. Okay so just highlight a couple because I get the four stages training is really the first 12 years we actually call the first stage, the discipline stage V some urine. SH is the hardest thing in the world you have to discipline them we call 5 to 12 call the training stage and the team stage with all the coaches agent in the adult stage which we are in now is the French essay/talk about what training looks like and we base that whole thing on a passage back in Ephesians 6 where Paul writes little expert about parenting and he says his father's, and I think this would apply to mothers as well.
Do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. So there's the very word training and instruction of the work status with your prayer right now.
You were want to be one parents will be asked that verse says, whose responsibility is to train and instruct our kids in the Lord is your listening to Dave and Ann Wilson on family life today will get back to their message in just a minute, but first I wanted to let you know about how you as just one family and make a huge difference. There is a community of heroes really called family life partners who believe in our mission and give financially every month and thanks to some of those. What I would call generous champions with come alongside us as a ministry right now you sign up to give monthly. You not only receive all the benefits of our partner program but your donation will be matched dollar for dollar per year for 12 months to help strengthen families and their relationship with God and with each other. That means if you give $25 a month.
The impact is actually $50 a month if you get 50 becomes 100 Mathis is very simple and this top of that when you give this month as our thanks to you, will send you a bundle of resources including two specific books one by Gary Thomas called lifelong love and one by Kristin Clark and Bethany Beale called, not part of the plan so become a monthly partner have your gift doubled every year impact families for the glory of Jesus and get a bundle of books sounds pretty great to me.
You can give right firstname.lastname@example.org or by calling one 803 586-329-1800 F's family L as in life and in the word today.
Right now, back to Dave and and whose responsibility is to train and instruct our kids in the Lord is ours is the parents we feel this is when we feel the weight of like I think is when we carry that time I climb I do this day and I think much easy for man to use my influence outside her home and when you think I'm inside fight many fights still and relax your ass like no I hear you are out there. I mean, I think we need you now about the children are dying for male figures that walk with God that this is what the father's love like this is this is that it rears there's no. I remember when our boys were toddlers. We are at Rochester Park and I'm a little boy's and I remember sitting on the benches and the boys are playing on the jungle gym never forget this moment just like this is now a dad I never had. Now I'm a dad and I have three sons and my wife's plan on the thing. I look around his other dad sitting in the monster plan.
I look today may we do it like this is awesome you will is that all sit and watch it all the moms and kids are just left.
It was one of those moments. I'm not kidding. Change me as a because I was gonna watch. There were a lot of what I was gonna watch that day I made a decision like the data is engaged to be on that stick jungle gym in the front yard in the backyard. I am not at that window and by the way you notice the window that you have influence your kids life is closing.
This really is 12 1314 is closing and when we're young parents over person come up say enjoy these days you go blank in the fleet every day feel like third. Never leave a little sleep. You know and use that. I just figured I hear him try to go like this. She would go to go get, but after that moment at the jungle gym you were on my side of the neighbor kids started come to house the door innately thanking Mr. Wilson come out and play. They really did is I decided that Windows and now were older parents were Tanya's closing quick. You won't believe how fast like taking those years that they want to be with the key in this training we start our mission is to train and launch training means it's our job as parents to train them. What in the Lord is just in life. Although that's obviously a very important part of the spiritual direction and guidance and mentoring the siting of your children so this is not the church's job or your school's job or your Christian school job.
I'm not saying kids doesn't go to partner with you. We are but it's still do it go. I'll drop them off our Jesus and then that we are in partnership with you, but it's your job, not ours. It's your job to do that walk through this verse in Deuteronomy 6537. It's one of my favorite in terms of parenting because it gets very specific of what this could look like yeah we train you your you know you're around other people's kids and you can impact them. If your kids are out of your house tell you that the younger generation of moms and dads are looking for other older fathers and mothers help them answer this verse from Deuteronomy 6527 love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your strength. This is it.
This is called the Shema so in the Hebrew culture, they would say this every day they would say these words because it was so important that I give you today are to be on your heart starts with your hearts them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you get up is going on all the time.
First part when it says these are to be on your heart, and I think it starts with us. Here's the hard thing is having kids. You get so busy with my grandkids purchased with them for several weeks as I read my Bible don't take a break in the bathroom by yourself time to have God in my heart and I think this is really important and it's like that all day long Bibles all over the house your carbide table this passage is to give away we been listening to Dave and me at Kensington church get a message my book.
No perfect parents and I love that you ended right there. Well, I didn't actually it's the middle that we got more to come. We do, but I think what you said is a pivotal truth in this message. You can't give away what you don't possess that. I think his parents.
You know, we think parenting is about getting a book and learn in the how-to's and the tricks and if a parent walked with me right now and said I want to raise a warrior for Jesus.
What should I do, I would say get on your knees and make sure you're a warrior I Jesus I agree and I think we do have a book called the Bible that really gives us practical help in truth on how God wants us to raise the sons and daughters again. You know where we ended there is, as a parent we got a look in the mirror and say is the word of God in me kids sniff it out if you're faking it.
In other watch and if boys are just saying things we do not live in the percentages go down that they're gonna do what you say there to do what you do and so again I would just say to the mom or dad listening right now the most important thing you can do to be the parent you want to be in raise the kids.
You're hoping to raise is surrender your life surrender your kids surrender yourself to a dynamic walk with God.
It's a Jesus give me the strength and power and wisdom to be the parent. I need to be. I cannot do it. Apart from you and I know it's hectic and there's no time in your exhausted and it's like this is one of those things you have to find time to cultivate. And it's not something you do one time. I personally do it every day because I need help from God, I need the Holy Spirit of abiding in him and fighting the Jesus I want my best memories is daily walking into our kitchen and seeing you written one year Bible gone through with 17 years in a row in our kids watched you on your knees on the back deck with their hands up worshiping God sometimes because you are just because I'm desperate. I'm desperate and I can't do it.
I don't have it in me and I don't have the strength… But that's the image that I think her kids walked out of her home with mom and completely surrendered. Again, a perfectly we blew it. Million times but boy we wanted to make sure Jesus is was will always be number one in our strength comes from. And that's the most important thing that Stephen and Wilson on family life. If you know anyone who needs to hear today's message you can share it from where ever you get your podcast and while you're there. It help to get the word out about family life to rate and review tomorrow where you hear again from our very own David and Wilson about how our words count when raising their kids and that rules without relationship, really equals rebellion how we can invest in our relationships with our kids. That's tomorrow. We hope you can join us on behalf of David and Wilson. I'm shall be back next time for another edition of family life, family life, action of family life crew ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most