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March 20, 2022 10:00 pm
What is a blessing -- both receiving it, and blessing those we love? Author Alan Wright offers simple, biblical skills to impart life-changing affirmations.
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And I know that every single person needs this. We need it as much, as any plant needs water is much as any child needs physical brand we need this were designed for were made for God made us to to receive positive affirming spiritually based. Biblically laden vision of our lives helps us know who we are if we don't get it within a run in all kind of problems. Welcome to family life today to help you relationship the matter about time and will Dave Wilson and you can find his daily life today.com or on our family life, family life, one of the first things I remember about you only started dating. The interesting in the first thing I remember, honestly, was him barring me from your house yet say you will never date Dave Wilson and well deserved why I don't know why he did that parable your coat sword I Gordon and my brothers were going to go with you. I guess I could have a preventive grace that I want to follow Christ yet but now I am what I want to court you.
And here's I remember though, it still to this day. He was a man that blessed others with his words totally still does it mean in a restaurant. He even did it with me. Once he finally allowed me to date you. When I came over today. I remember him saying this young man is a quality young man they will sublet be in your coat.
I mean it was like I didn't know what he is doing, then, but I watched them do it thousand times you see a person's face light up when he starts talking about just super interesting because when my dad was in assisted living. The nurses that work there would all congregate in his room and I told one time dad. The reason they congregate there because they are being blessed by you, and I think this is so true because were all drawn to people that blessed us that we all long to be blessed and so we have in the studio today. Alan Wright is an author or a pastor, and I think if anybody knows the power of blessing is this guy Alan.
Welcome to family today.
Thanks so much for a baby and I just loved already being with you guys and thank you for the privilege of a we never met until we had lunch today and you're a little bit like her dad. I mean immediately you feel this sense of blessing in the room because I mean look at you know your smile and you bring a blessing in your life is not always been the case. Thank you not not not all think always I think I might've always wanted to be authentically caring about the well-being and wanting the very best for others. I don't think it was always my case, I think that was as a child through the brokenness of childhood and dad's struggles with alcohol. The internal soul messages that I took hold of my head to get healed a lot because of our souls hurting them were going think about ourselves and so I had to have a lot of healing of the soul and to learn about the power blessing.
I think they go hand-in-hand because until we are really set free from self absorption is hard to be other centered, but wow. What joy there is in taking delight in seeing someone else flourish and having faith for others to flourish.
Maybe more faith than they have themselves a cigarette. Talk about your book the power to bless others speak life and empower the people you love. But I want to know a little bit but you know your pastor, North Carolina tell us about your family well. I have beautiful wife 36 year reset to is better teacher and preacher and communicator storyteller that I could ever be. She is wonderful and the sense of she is full of wonder.
Always has been. She celebrates life and not first one I met her I thought there some wrong with her. You can't celebrate that much, but she taught me all of that and we got to grown kids.
Bennett's been married for four years and he's a just starting a law practice and our daughter Abby just graduated college and took a job moved to Washington DC to work with PR firm so your radio show host and I host a radio program daily program. The speech around the nation for over 10 years now and we pastor this wonderful church multisite church in North Carolina and the right books and so life is good. Life is full, so why the power to bless I mean you start the books and we all long for the blessing and if we don't get it. We go on a search for explain what is the blessing it is become for me much more than an idea of a book or a little practice that's part of your life. It is in many ways the substance of life, relationship and ministry. This is in many ways a life message for me that I began learning about early in our marriage.
I didn't know anything about it.
I began to read a little bit about how the Hebrew patriarchs bless their children. I remember being mesmerized by the sense of role power that was being released in blessing. I remember the first time really reading the stories of Isaac and his twin boys, Jacob and Esau and the familiar story how Jacob that conniving deceiver stole the blessing by pretending to be his brother, Esau, and when he tricked their blinded father. Old Isaac into blessing the wrong son. I was just amazed.
The text said that once he realized he blessed the wrong son and I thought well we'll just you know in America. Yes I know the same mistake to come on in here Esau when we bless you and step not so instead of the text that he trembled violently and he said I have blessed him, and indeed he will be blessed. I started becoming fascinated with this irrevocable power that mysteriously weaves its way all throughout the Scripture. It's everywhere.
It runs through the patriarchs and it runs all the way into Jesus's ministry where everybody want to bring their children, not just we could pray for us we can bless them. What was he doing. I have been fascinated about that for years because I thought the same thing they always laid their hands on them with their right hand that had the most lasting and so I only thought like power is that you is where is it that prophetic. What did you come to discover. Yes, it's all of that in the power blessing and this is something that is so pervasive in the Bible that in many ways I would say you could say this is the theme in the beginning God created Adam many and then he blessed them, and then he said, be fruitful and multiply, and I think that for much of my life you know and and maybe our listeners can understand if you've come from any measure brokenness. There can be a thought that gets into the child's soul that if I perform well then I'll be blessed and I think that's a way of our culture prove yourself and show us your worth and then maybe will rise up and bless you how interesting. Not so with God's blessing with God was not the reward for productivity is the fuel for he blessed Adam and Eve and then he said, be fruitful and multiply, and so when I see all this in the Scripture. I became fascinated by and then through a process of soul healing and looking at my own life and being willing to take an honest self inventory of the ways that may be blessing wasn't spilling out of my mouth towards my wife the way I wanted it to our early years and starting to understand, I started realizing this may be one of the most important things for me to learn and thankfully, God begins showing me about it and I are not only became a student I just begin to put in practice so long before we had children we were already building our household on the idea of blessing much more than mere encouragement talking about that positive and even prophetic faith filled vision. You speak over someone else's life rooted in Scripture and confidence that it can come to pass. And when people receive that watching then they can rise up to meet it. And so it became the most important principle in our parenting and in my pastoring of a church every day back because you didn't necessarily growing up. Tell us about your childhood and what that was like because you didn't get that I love my dad. He was a TV news man and he was brilliant he could make a new song, saying he was doing investigative journalism before was a thing everybody, there's always EMC before before 60 minutes and that he was truly a pioneer in the in the industry of TV every my my city know because it was only three stations know and you can only get about one of them and so everybody in my hometown everywhere when they knew my father. He was gracious.
He was humble. He was artistic. He was creative he was so intelligent and I loved him in fourth grade he called a family meeting and it was only time I ever saw him cry. He said he was going to be leaving and I didn't know why and I had only begun to understand what then I would later understand that dad had a lifelong struggle with alcohol.
Your times of sobriety and other times not so and when you grow up in that environment. If the child internalizes all of this.
Nobody ever said Alan, if you will be better. Your dad will come back home, nobody ever said that nobody would want me to believe that my dad was never abusive he never held it over my head.
He never said Alan you need to make straight A's, or else I'll never be proud of you. He never said you need to be somebody special. He never, of course, he was not like that. But what I think what I believe and so those internal messages of shame is something wrong with me.
I must not measure up their summer my family and you know if your dad is an alcoholic. You don't want to bring people over because you don't know may be drinking that day someone him. I'm so proud of them and I love them so much and yet he was this man who was distant because of alcohol in the distant because he wasn't there and he was also a man like so many in his generation that never had seen it modeled or knew how to express his feelings didn't know how to just to look deeply in my eyes and say, Alan. Here's how I see who you are as a gifted person and here are some of the richest traits and attributes that I seeing you here is what I believe that God could do with your life and here's a destiny that I'd like to speak of your life. Never had a moment like that one time when I was in college my first year I made straight A's, and I let him know when he sent me a note and said he was proud of me. I held onto it because I never had anything like that so at a time when dad after all three of us in the family. My two brothers and I were all grown and were growing were grown spiritually and dad is going through a time of growing also and I said was get some counseling together and we did.
And then when the counseling sessions I said I'd really something I like. I said that I like you blessed me and he did know was automatically the counselor didn't know I was talking about is that I'm not talk about something that you say after somebody sneezes what you say before the meal, talk about speak in a positive vision. I want to know why you're proud of me. I want to know what you see in me that you told I told him that had it and he said sure and he went home and he brought back at her next counseling session 3 index cards and he'd written out a small blessing for each of us and it wasn't profound it wasn't scriptural it was the best that he could do. He wrote on his card. He said when we brought you home is the youngest of three boys brought you home your older brother Mark said why we have to get him and he said I now know why we would need you as is so small that I could cry about right now because to a malnourished soul. That's like a treasured morsel and I talked to so many people who they've never had their dad once once look them and then I affirm something to them and I knew that I needed it and I know that every single person needs this. We need it as much, as any plant needs water is much as any child needs physical brand we need this were designed for were made for God made us to to receive positive affirming spiritually based.
Biblically laden vision over our lives that helps us know who we are if we don't get it.
We were going to run and all kinds of problems and my problems were out when I was the conformist.
I was a guy was going try performing but inwardly it produced angst inwardly. It made me feel like I'm striving because Dave and Anna, I just think everybody in this world is either who's working hard and that's not everybody but people are trying their either doing so because they want to prove themselves worthy so they'll be blessed or they know themselves blessed and they're just looking to make a difference joyfully and I always wanted to be the latter, but for a long time in my life and I was the former and God healed me of so much and showed me so much that I want everybody to understand about this principle, the blessing what you think what happened, how old were you when you're dead.
I was in my 30s having some of us would think she was your man now.
You've gotten beyond that you never got it, but your good right but you worked in a sense, I mean look fine and been able to accomplish a lot of things.
But deep down your soul was still longing for the blessing at 30 years of 80 with the un-affirmed soul longs for blessing for a whole life.
You can be 95 and belonging, and there is no substitute other than receiving it. And so I sought it from him and then also learn the value of finding spiritual fathers in authentic fellowship where our accountability is not hey you know quit doing that behavior accountability is blessing it is. This is who God made you to be. This is your design.
This is how I see your life and so I begin to find people who now speak that enemy in order to receive it in order to give it my question would be, if you haven't got it that day from your dad. Maybe he refuses to or says I don't know how to do it or I don't think it's that important. So there's a lot of people that never do get what you got.
There were many what happens.
Well, a think that all of us need to be on a journey of healing our souls so that we let the love of Christ. The assurance of that love from the deposit of the Holy Spirit, who is our guarantee of our inheritance letting God through his word through his presence through his people, letting the gospel go more deeply and richly into our souls and to we know that we know that we know we are accepted in the beloved.
This the healing that we get from knowing ourselves loved by the father and blessed of the father regardless of her performance. That's where that's where we feel that we need people on this journey you say, do we need.
I mean what you said is obviously true. We can get it from the heavenly father do we need people remember years ago, you have a preacher look for illustrations. I find this one about little boy hugging his dad's leg during a tornado and I guess true story, always looking out the window bravest thunderstorm in a way that little Phibro grabs his says leg and says that I'm scared in the dances. It's okay, Jesus is with you and he goes yeah right now I need someone. The schism was thatI thought you know if we get it from our heavenly father is there still a sense we need somebody with skin on to bless us, whether it's our mom or dad if we don't get it from there.
We still need to get we absolutely do I tell in the book the story my daughter Abby when she gave her first public speech I was in seventh grade. Our teacher for some reason wanted thereby to give a speech. It fascinated me and I loved it. Everybody else hated it and I started pursuing it as 1/7 grader. I entered into speech contest. We had a little speech contest in our city sponsored by the optimist club.
I gave a five minute speech about the assassination attempt on Reagan's life or something like that, you know, and I won the contest and they gave me a trophy and I wish my data been there because he is such a communicator is such a writer and wow what would've happened if you'd been there and could have said Alan you have a gift of communication. No telling how much God might use that words make a difference.
Words are shaping the world I see a gift and you happen, but he wasn't there. I took my trophy home and I pursued learning to communicate, but I didn't have my father's affirmation of it are daughter Abby.
She came home she said said assignments had to give a speech. Is that okay Abby, I'll help you. I'm in the first place.
Part of blessing is just you got some I was for you right that's what we do as parents and for you I'm I could do it for you, but I'm for you and with you every step of the way so she went in and she gave her speech a sublime inheritance. So there I sat on the blue couch in the living room. She stood up this awkward teenage girl giving her first public speech to an audience of one, and I don't remember what is about, but I remember sitting there spellbound by the way that she had a natural flow and rhythm and inflection points in her voice and content that was clear it was just great.
I could hardly believe it. And she got done I looked at are set happy. I said you have a communication gift said that was wonderful. She's giggled a little bed to sit all dad just saying that know I am a communicator. This is what I do in my life. Now let me tell you everything that I saw that was very special about get a little emotion with this because it went into her hat.
It went into her and it worry me well at first, she resisted, but then she believed me. I had to tell her over and over how gifted she was until she finally we got her into a national speech organization.
She said she didn't want to do it.
I said I really think you'd like it at all is one disparaging moment like I didn't quite make you do it I'm on the edge making you because I see it, and her first very first speech contest was at a national level and were riding to the event and I was kind of preparing or like you know me.
Some of the best high school communicators in the nation here and you know don't worry about it if you don't. This is just a beginning point yeah is kind of like, no faith, even though I believe how good she was and one of her speeches made into the herbivorous Armada top five. The next year she qualified for the national tournament which is a big deal in this particular speech organization, but instead we had scheduled to go to Papua New Guinea on a mission trip because we had been supporting a missionary who for 30 years had been working translating the Bible into the native language of a tiny island to Papua New Guinea and we committed to go so she had to give up going and she course you know might never make it to nationals again, but we went and we have the time of our lives watching a people get the word of God.
For the first time in their written language. She came back the next year or she wrote a speech on and she did it locally, regionally and qualify for the national government in the Twin Cities in Minneapolis. They had the national tournament and through the grueling event came to the end and her name was announced as the national champion. Two years later, she won another national championship. She's just delightful to listen to especially see speaks of the things of God. I just wonder you know how many people have a gift that wasn't affirmed watered by the power blessing and a look at the difference in what she had from me alongside of her being able to authentically discern what her gifts are. I think that's the thing we need our culture is so full of the lie that tells you just look inside yourself and find yourself look for your inner guy you know.
Don't let anyone tell you who you are and has gone so far that her children are just utterly confused with no one speaking into their life and that's not God's design. God's design is for people who love to know the truth, who have faith and who really want to see someone flourish with authentic discernment help them know here's who you are and we grow into it and so we raised our kids and that and that it was almost like an experiment because I hadn't lived in it myself firsthand. And wow, it has been a beautiful thing just to watch the power of blessing at work I think is I hear you Alan and I get emotional about it you because if you talk about the malnourished soul.
So many of us haven't had the blessing and I know that we talked about my dad at the opening of how he does give blessing. He didn't do that when we were growing up, he changed and the only time I would ever hear him say something positive about me when I was little, was when it was to someone else and I remember thinking right, I think something good about me, and I think so many of us long for that blessing.
We long for somebody to CS and point at you and I see who God made you, I see the gifts that he pretty, just as you did your daughter was such a powerful illustration and we have so much power in our words but sometimes are so lost of looking at ourselves and our deficits or are striving for someone to CS or someone to approve the last that we don't always get it back anything to be interesting to talk more about that. Like why don't we give it because when I listen to you. I'm so inspired I care daughter of course go on and do those things because you're calling out what God had put in her and what power got his given us to not only see but to say yes that they would just listen to both of you actually my thought is I really don't want to go another day without using the power to bless somebody else, whether as a dad to my kids were as a neighbor to my neighbor yet. I think the church the followers of Christ should be known as people who bless others. You know, because that's gonna be a magnet to draw them to the ones blessed us. I mean yes honestly I would say to dad or mom today. Right now if you haven't today spoken words of life and blessing your child today. They were all familiar with how to tear down people whether verbally or in our minds. It's difficult to do the work of blessing people building them up communicating something that encourages them that points them to the Lord all of her scripture we see this exhortation that we are blessed in order to be a blessing God blesses us, that we might bless other people.
David and Wilson have been talking with Alan right. He's the author of the power to bless how to speak life and empower the people you love.
This is the kind of book that you could read yourself or give to a friend or a family member they would encourage you and give you some practical insight on how to bless others. We want to make this available to you as a way to say thank you with a donation of any email@example.com or you can give us a call at 1-800-358-6329 that's one 800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today to make your donation and again we will send you a copy of Alan Wright's book is our thank you all the power to bless thanks in advance for your support and we hope you enjoy this book.
I think you will in this conversation with Alan Wright and David and Wilson today or any of the family life programs have been helpful for you. We love you to share today's podcast with a friend or family member, and wherever you get your podcast can really advance the gospel effort of what were doing it. Family life to if you scroll down and rate and review us not tomorrow going to explore this topic of blessing others by specifically talking about how we can bless our kids major impact that can have on their life tomorrow on behalf of David and Wilson.
I'm shall be added you back next time for another edition of family life family like today is the production of family life crew ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most