Summit Fever

When Rachel Earle's young husband, Harold, set out to climb Mount Everest, Rachel found herself vacillating between enthusiasm and anxiety.

So I had been living in that moment of, okay, I'm good. Like, he's not climbing right now. And the very next time that I got a call from him, here comes chipper Harold on the phone.

Hey, honey. And when he was so excited, I just started bawling because that fear was, is he in a good place? Can I even trust what he's saying right now? I know this summit fever is so real, and I think my husband has it. And there's nothing I can do at this moment.

And this could cost him his life. This is Family Life Today. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson.

I'm Bob Lapine. You can find us online at familylifetoday.com. When you're a young wife and your young husband is on one of the most dangerous journeys on the face of the earth, how do you process that? We'll find out more today from Rachel and Harold Earles. And welcome to Family Life Today.

Thanks for joining us. Have you ever had a quest, you know, something that you just thought, before I die, I want to conquer? Mary Dave Wilson. That was your quest to just marry Dave? So you accomplished that.

Mine was so much less than that. Mine was win the Super Bowl. Yeah.

You know, with the Detroit Lions. Yeah. But it never happened. Never happened. It was a dream quest. I guess it was a quest, and that was to climb Mount Everest. Seriously? I would have loved to have done that. Yes.

Where did this even start? I think I read the book Everest, and then I watched the movie. I always loved climbing.

We went to South Africa. She climbs everything. Yeah.

We'll be walking through a park. She's just up on top of the tree. She climbs everything.

Yeah. She's like a little... We went to South Africa, and my son and I got up at four in the morning. I think he was 14 at the time, and we climbed. It was a mountain that people were climbing all the time, but we climbed, and we didn't even tell anybody we left. And it was dangerous.

It was probably so dumb, but it was exhilarating. And he and I said, wouldn't it be awesome to climb Mount Everest? And we just climbed a mountain last week.

Yes. With five grandkids under the age of five. We went up, what, 12,000 feet? Twelve, yeah.

Yeah, our son, our middle son, he loves to climb. He lives in Colorado, and he's like, we're all going to go on this little two-hour deal. It's up the thing and back. We're like, okay. It was six hours.

It was grueling. We have one-year-olds on our shoulders. Two-year-olds. Three-year-olds. Poopy diapers, and it's getting wet around your neck.

Like, what is happening? It was not easy. Awesome. Yeah, she said it was awesome. I was like, this is the worst day of my life. What are we doing this for?

To be in the presence of somebody who fulfilled your dream. That's a real deal. That's a pretty big deal, isn't it?

It's a pretty big deal. And it's not Bob Lupin. No, that's right.

No. We've got Harold and Rachel Earls joining us again on Family Life Today. Welcome back, guys. Hey, thanks for having us here.

We are so glad to be here. Yeah, you know what? I've never met in my life.

Me neither. Somebody that— Climbed Everest. —got to the summit of Mount Everest.

Well, you're turning into this big thing. I'm from Georgia originally, so I had zero climbing experience, so I don't portray myself— You've been to Stone Mountain, though, haven't you? I did do Stone Mountain.

That is true at about 2,000 feet. These guys, a lot of our listeners know because of the vlog that you do, the Earls Family vlog that's on YouTube. You've just written a book that tells not only your story, but the Everest story. It's called Higher Calling. And it does walk through something that I guess was a dream of yours that goes back to high school, junior high?

How did it start, Harold? I had this dream when I was a cadet at West Point. I rode out on my bucket list. I'll never forget. I was sitting in my barracks room, and I rode out from one to ten, the top things I wanted to do in my lifetime.

And the number one thing was climb Mount Everest. Where did that come from? Why? Why? So for me, I think it's just the fact that I'm from Georgia. I had never liked the cold.

I never liked climbing hills. And so I wanted to put myself in a situation to see what I was capable of. So it's the hardest situation. Exactly.

Exactly. And that's kind of just who I am as part of the reason why I wanted to join the military and then go to the old guard, was to put myself into situations so that I could grow and evolve as a person and as a leader. When you wrote that on your list, did you already have this long-distance relationship with your girlfriend when you wrote that? I did, which complicated things, right? Did you share with her, hey, I wrote down today. And that came before you?

Yes. Not at first. So I actually came up with it and I decided the best time to do it was actually right after graduation, right after we would have gotten married. So this will all take place, the story in our first year of marriage. So I actually had a big phone call to call Rachel. I'll never forget it. I was nervous. I was nervous of how is she going to respond? Because all it takes is, you know, one person to say, especially your spouse, to be like, no, I'm not a fan of it. Especially given at the time I had zero climbing experience.

Right. So I called her and I told her about it. And honestly, I did not get the response I was expecting at all.

Wait, wait, wait. What did you think she would respond like? So I had thought that she would obviously be very apprehensive, but maybe supportive with enough supporting documents and evidence.

You could talk her into it. Exactly. I had prepared, you can imagine, in my barracks room, you know, things written down, the facts, you know, here is what I do to, you know, how I'm going to prepare and climb and train. But that's not how it went. And your boyfriend's on the phone saying, or your fiancé, I guess at this point, saying, hey, babe, you know, this thing I'd like to do, I want to know what you think about.

I'd really love to climb Mount Everest. Is that how he said it? Yeah, I think it was just very nonchalant, honestly. And I didn't think too much of it. Part of the plan? He did.

Just kind of slip it in there. He really thought that through. We had just previously been planning a trek out to the Maasai tribe out in Africa that we were planning on doing together, but it wasn't working out. And so this was kind of like the pivot, you know, it was like, that's not happening, so I'm going to go climb Everest. Okay, I guess.

It's called a roost, and the army was planned all along. You were okay with it? I mean, at the time it really was just like, okay, this is kind of a pivot, you know, I didn't know how sure he was about it, but I was open to listening about it. So yeah, I just said, okay. Harold, what if she would have said absolutely not?

I would have liked, this is about to get deep, I would have liked to have told you that I would have said, okay, I understand, you know, this is not where we have to be together in this because that's what our relationship is about. I at the time don't think I was mature enough to make that decision, right? I think that because my entire life I had only focused on me, Harold Earls, right?

I wanted to go to West Point, I wanted to join the army. This is my life and my future, which is natural, right? When you're single, that's all you think about. But this was really the first time in my life that I also had someone else to consider. So at the time, I think that I probably would have kept pursuing forward, right? And is that the right answer?

Absolutely not. And I think that through time and through our marriage, I think that I've grown and be able to have that perspective that I didn't have back then. I wonder, you know, Rachel, if you ever said, okay, what's number two on your list? By the way, what was number two? Oh, man, I can't remember.

Okay. We wanted to go shark diving. Shark diving.

Probably shark diving. When did it dawn on you, wait, he's serious about this, and oh, I didn't realize Everest is – Dangerous. Yeah.

Right. So it was a little bit over time where I would realize he was staying up all night researching it and stuff, so I started asking questions. I think we had just come back from a trip to Canada together. So you're married at this point.

We were still engaged at that point. I think we were celebrating, like, two-year anniversary or something of dating, and I just asked the hard questions of how much does it cost? Like, how do you think you're going to make this happen? How are you going to train all of those questions? And he had answers for them. And so I was like, I have to take this seriously now. It costs a lot. It's hard.

Yes. But something to know about Harold is he is that determined guy. So I know if he says he's going to do something that he is, and so I had to believe him and also know, hey, we are going into our marriage, and so I can choose to support him through this.

Or if I don't, it could be something that easily separates us right off the beginning, which was something I didn't want to do. Do you remember the point that you thought he could die doing this? A lot of different points, but specifically when he was climbing, the very first point was when I was in Colorado visiting another military spouse, and there was a snowstorm happening. I had just gotten off the phone with Harold, where he told me that he was going to be climbing down from advanced base camp down to base camp. And right after that call, he told me to be praying because of the weather.

People could easily get hurt. Right after I hang up the phone, I get an email from Tommy, my cousin, who was also on Everest as the base camp manager, telling me there's a horrible snowstorm, but not to worry because in order to be safe, they're going to stay put and let it pass. But I knew they were not staying safe because they were going to be climbing back down. And I tried to call Harold back.

He didn't answer. I didn't know if he knew what Tommy knew, and that is when I just remember breaking down on the floor in my friend's house, just crying, knowing this could be it. I could very well lose my husband, and this was just the beginning, really, of the trek. Before we get to those very emotional things on Everest, something that I learned about Rachel, and I learned honestly about love through her, was she had that choice to make, whether she was going to support me or not. And not only did she say, like, hey, I support you, she said, hey, what can I do to help make your dream happen? Since this is your dream, this is now my dream as well.

I'm going to run this race with you. And so, like, she stayed up late with me at night, you know, creating logo ideas to helping with funding ideas. It became our dream together. And honestly, that's something that we've taken with our marriage from this point forward. When you created your YouTube channel, it's like that was us together because that was your dream. So it's like, okay, what can I do as a supporting husband to make this possible? Whether it's a book, whatever it was, we've always had that mentality. And I think it's made us so much stronger in our marriage because of it.

Instead of going two separate ways, kind of, and that's easy for couples to do. And so you have to take on the risk as well. And, you know, I've never climbed, I've never researched it.

What is the risk? How many people don't make it? Yeah, so some stats. So to give you some context, in 2014, there was actually an avalanche. So I did this in 2016. In 2014, there was an avalanche that killed 16 people.

There was actually a lady, I remember we were watching the news, and there was a lady by the name of Manuka Gurung, and she was the wife of a Sherpa. And I was watching the interview, and she actually had a small child with her during the interview, and she had lost her husband. And for me, I think that's when it really started to set in that this is real, this is dangerous, this isn't fun and games, a bucket list item. This really is life or death, you know. And the more reading I did about the stats, when you learn that, you know, five percent of the people that summit end up not coming down because they die, you learn about the high altitude pulmonary edema that happens that makes people, you know, essentially die because of lack of oxygen. You hear about just the pure people die simply out of exhaustion. That final push, you're climbing for more than 30 hours. And literally, people will die out of pure exhaustion.

Their body just stops. So I think the more I really started to dive into that, I realized, hey, this is no joke. This is not something to play around with.

This is not something to play around with our marriage. And quite honestly, it was up front, it was a pretty selfish thing of me, right, because I had it easy, right. I climbed Everest, but on the back end, Rachel was going to be the one that didn't have a husband if I didn't come back, right.

For me, it was me pursuing my dream. For her, she had a lot to lose, right. She wanted family. She wanted kids.

You're reading these stats. Was there ever a time when you went, wait, I got a wife now. Maybe I need to just put this dream aside and people die. This is not just me.

I've got to take care of her. I wish that I could tell you that I was wise enough to say yes, but that wasn't my personality back then. On the mountain, they actually call it summit fever. It's when you have a desire to summit so badly that you'll do anything to make it happen. And I feel like I had that before I even got to the mountain, right. At that point, I had put in so many hundreds of hours. You know, there were already news articles about it. There were so much things about it that I was full bore ahead no matter what. And is that smart?

No, not at all. But I do think that God can take those personal desires and personal quests and turn them into something beautiful along the way. And you were also doing it for a good cause. It originally wasn't like that. Originally it was, honestly, like out of a selfish pursuit, right.

Something I'm not proud of, but it's natural, right. I wanted to climb Mount Everest. We helped put together the First Army team to go and climb Mount Everest. And I had a mentor, Command Sergeant Major Todd Burnett, who I look up to more than anyone. He was a Command Sergeant Major at West Point. What I didn't know is how much I looked up to him, but he also struggled with PTSD to the point of one day he was going to take his own life.

And I had no idea at the time. He was someone that I just emulated in every aspect. Such a rock, a stud, a hero, had been blown up by more IEDs in Iraq than any soldier. So everyone looked up to him, but yet he had these conflicting wounds internally. And so for me, that's when it became real because he said, hey, why don't you climb for something more, more than just for the sake of being the first, more than just the sake of your own glory?

Why don't you bring awareness to an issue of PTSD and sort of mental health that is really plaguing our military? And I think for me at the time, at 21, 22 years old, I didn't really know. But as I got to learn more stories about active-duty soldiers and about veterans who were actually going through that, that's when I think that our Everest expedition took on a whole new mission. You know, it's interesting as I hear you say that.

I'm like, don't know you that well, just read your book and met you today. But it's like you walk for the unknown soldiers, and now you climbed a mountain for unknown men and women that have PTSD. There's a heart in you that's a servant heart.

It's really beautiful. Yeah, I think it's for us, and this is where we go back to, you know, Rachel and I, our hearts were always in the same place and we always are running in the same direction of God. And that's that we want to make a difference, right? And I think what became so beautiful with Everest is like, yes, it started out as something personal, but the moment it got that mission behind it, that was our mission, right? I'll never forget, we were in Tibet.

We hadn't even gotten to the mountain yet. So it's about a 14-day excursion just to get out to base camp. And we did an interview with Fox News and our publicist reached out to me and she said, hey, I got to tell you this, there was this veteran that just reached out and said, I need to talk to that man, I need to talk to that man. That man was Command Sergeant Major Todd Burnett. He was the one doing the interview for us on our behalf, raising awareness. What we didn't know was that veteran that day had planned to take his own life. And so Sergeant Major Burnett was put in touch with him and he actually was able to help him, essentially walk him off the ledge and talk with him and get him the help that he needs. And that wasn't the only time that that happened.

And for me, I think at that time, at 22, 23 years old, that's when I learned that there is something so much bigger that works here than a kid climbing Mount Everest, than an Army team climbing Mount Everest. Rachel, you're a wife who wants to love and support her husband, who is also watching him do something that is risky and life-threatening. I see two competing desires here, right? You want to support him? You want to be a part of the team? And part of you wants to say, do not do this, please.

How did you process all of that? Well, I will say I've been hoping that he found a little bit more purpose there. And I had been praying the whole time that God would use the expedition for something more than he knew. So when it started to take on that mission, it was giving me that sense of peace. I was like, I don't know what the plan is here, but I trusted God that if this was placed on his heart, then okay, there's something here that we don't see yet.

And I mean, clearly now we've written a book about it that we have the opportunity to share with thousands of people. So I think just really cool that God really did have his hand through all of it. Well, you think of the verse Proverbs 16, 9, In his heart a man plans his ways, but the Lord determines his steps.

I can't think of more evidence of my own life and through that journey of God doing that. I thought I was headed in one direction. Yes, it was technically in that direction, but God had such bigger plans for my life than I could ever possibly see from the vantage point that I was at. Was there ever a point on the mountain or before or during, or for either one of you where you were like, bad idea.

What am I doing right now? Like I'd love if I could to turn a back or even go back three weeks and say, I wish I had never taken this step. Yeah, so I definitely do have conflicting ideas in my head. Was it the best idea for me to fully support him or should I really have told him this isn't the best idea?

I still don't really know the answer to that. I would like to believe that the best decision was to support him because we're here now, but I don't know because something still could have happened. But there was that moment right before Harold went on the summit push. He had just previously gotten sick up there.

Altitude sickness is really common. And he had called me on the phone and just crying about it. I mean, they were supposed to leave that day, I think, saying that he wasn't going to be able to climb. And so in that moment, maybe I'll let him talk about that in a second. But in that moment, I felt heartbreak for him knowing everything he'd worked for. But then a little bit of relief of, okay, he's not climbing right now so I can breathe for this moment. I still wanted him to have the opportunity because I knew he was the type of person that might try to do it again. And I didn't want to relive that moment. I couldn't handle that. But the hardest part for me was the very next day. So I had been living in that moment of, okay, I'm good. Like, he's not climbing right now.

And the very next time that I got a call from him, here comes chipper Harold on the phone. Hey, honey, after I just heard that devastated voice before telling me that he's leaving to climb to Summit Everest in the next 10 minutes. And I'm thinking you were just throwing up, like, everything in your body.

How on earth are you capable of going? And when he was so excited, I just started bawling because that fear was, is he in a good place? Can I even trust what he's saying right now? I know this summit fever is so real and I think my husband has it and there's nothing I can do at this moment. And this could cost him his life. And so that was definitely the moment that I was like, did I make a horrible decision here or not? Or thinking that my husband would never be overcome by summit fever and that just isn't the case.

Just like we're all human and we are susceptible to, you know, just bad things and making bad choices. What did you say to him? I asked him over and over, like, are you sure you're okay? And over and over, he said yes. And he didn't have summit fever and he was better, that his body was able to climb and I was petrified. But then I just told him I loved him like four times over and over. Were you really better? No, no, not at all, actually.

So I'd say that's probably about 80 percent. I think it's interesting in life, especially for me in that moment. I had focused so much on that dream. It was more like, hey, God, are you following me?

Not am I following you? And I was full bore head. I was willing to essentially sacrifice everything.

I mean, quite literally everything, our future. It's hard for me to even think now we have a two year old and a one year old little boy, especially during writing that book and then having to write those moments and relive those moments and hear our two year old run around and crawl on us. It made it very difficult and it made it very revealing to me. Sometimes you can get in situations that you're all or nothing mentality. And that's not the right way to be. I wish to say that I would have thought about it differently, but that just wasn't the case. I mean, would you do it today? No, no, I would not. Am I thankful for the moments that I had? Am I thankful for the experience? Undoubtedly, it has shaped me as a person, as a leader in my faith in ways that I would not be the same man that I am today. But would I go back and relive those moments if I had the opportunity, especially knowing what I have now and all the risks still on the table today?

No, absolutely not. And if you're talking to a wife whose husband gets fueled by risk, risk kind of behaviors. I have a son that does that. And the wife is just scared every time he's off to do something where a bone could be broken or worse could happen.

Do you just tell her you just got to pray and trust the Lord? I think that's hard. I know that Dave was, and still is a little bit, a total daredevil, like stupid kind of things. One of our first dates, he went to the top of this. He went to this little mountain on rollerblades, and he goes, this is going to be awesome. He had never even rollerbladed before. He goes straight down this hill.

It's not quite Everest. But I'm thinking, this is just dumb, you know? He just wanted to beat every record and do everything that somebody else couldn't do. And I remember in my mind thinking, I could control this and be this badgering, nagging life.

But part of that was who he was. And I see that in our sons, too. As you guys were talking, I was thinking, God puts a dream in us. And I think that many times it is from God. But God also, I liked how he shaped your dream. Because our dreams, when he puts it in us, it usually isn't just for us.

It's usually for impact, for other people. And it shapes us. That's why I love Harold and Rachel, just that you guys, it became bigger than just you. And I think for Dave, if I were talking to another wife, I would say, first of all, pray your guts off. Rachel, I bet you were praying nonstop, praying without ceasing. I'm sure you were, too, Harold. And so, to pray, to ask God, how can I support my man in who he is and who you've created him to be? And be beside him in his dream, but still talk some sense or just talk about your concerns? Yeah, and I think being, again, I didn't climb out on verse.

It's like the summit and then rollerblading down a little hill. But that risk-taking spirit that I think God puts in a lot of us, and sometimes we hold it back. Other times we express it.

And celebrating that in me allowed me to start a church. Because she didn't say, don't do it. That's not safe. Because it was almost as risky. I'm not going to lose my life.

But financially. She did ask questions like, how are we going to get paid? I don't know. What if nobody comes?

Yeah, they might not. But it was, okay, let's go. We're going to the top of the mountain.

Why? Because God's calling us there. We don't know what's going to happen, but we have to take this risk. And I think it's a mindset thing. I think so many times we see, especially in the Christian world, and I'm totally to blame with this, is you sit back and you say, I'm going to wait and see if God opens this door for me, rather than saying, hey, I'm going to go and see if that door is open. And my prayer is God locked that door and changed my direction along the way, rather than just sitting back. And I think that's how God wants us to live our life. He wants us to passionately pursue the passions that he puts in our heart. He doesn't want people to remain dormant. That's not the Christians that he wants.

He wants people that are on the front lines, that are pushing and following their dreams and impacting people and allowing him to steer them along the way. Yeah, and I think, and I've said this many times from the pulpit, I don't know if I'm right or wrong, but I'm like, you hear these testimonies up here and you're like, why doesn't God ever do that in my life? And I'm like, when you take a step, you're going to be out in here telling your story. And again, I'm not saying everything works out the way we want, but to climb a mountain, you got to take the first step to start a church, to change your marriage today. You don't wait for your spouse. You take a risky, scary, I don't know what's going to happen step and God will meet you right there. So a guy who would have a passionate dream for something where there is risk involved and his wife is saying, I am petrified. This scares me to death.

I don't know if I can sleep at night if you do this. Would you tell that guy be true to your dream or would you say you need to die to self and honor your wife in this? I think I'd honor my wife. I think you would too.

I think you want to be on the same page. Well, I mean, you didn't get a motorcycle when you were 25. Yeah, I wanted to get a motorcycle at 25, 28. She said, no. And I was like, come on, come on, come on.

And then at 50, she said, go get a motorcycle. So I could die now, I guess. I think the other thing that's really important is like with our one son who's a climber.

He climbed last year and he said, oh, yeah, there was this avalanche. And what I said is, I hope you have a prayer team. At least call me. Exactly. Have a prayer team of people that are supporting you because that is having people behind you with a lot of strength of seeking God on your behalf.

And I don't think God is ever going to put that desire in your heart that is in direct conflict with your spouse. Now, I think what it may be is it may saying the timing is not right or there may be another thing. Right. But I think what you do is I think you're exactly right. You go to prayer.

Right. And you say, hey, let's come around this in prayer and see what the bigger message is. God, you know, I feel this passion, but you obviously feel something different. Let's pray around this and see if there's a bigger message here. So true. All I know is 2021, I'm climbing Everest. Just like you know right here, honey. Are you in? I think I would die.

Actually, she's going to climb Everest. You know, I think there is no one size fits all answer for how you approach these kinds of things. But I think what you've said, spending time together in prayer, seeking wise counsel, making sure you've heard one another, that you're not just running past one another, that if your fears, analyze your fears. Are those rational or irrational fears?

What do other people say? Analyze your ambition and say, is this selfish or is this something God's really put on my heart? And you guys, in telling your story in the book, take us into how you process these things and give us an example of how a couple can do this and what the outcome of those decisions can be. The book that Harold and Rachel have written is called A Higher Calling, Pursuing Love, Faith, and Mount Everest for a Greater Purpose. Go to familylifetoday.com to get your copy of the book or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website is familylifetoday.com. The book is called A Higher Calling by Harold and Rachel Earls.

You can also order the book by calling 1-800-358-6329. That's 1-800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today. You know, in this week when we are thinking about things for which we are thankful, one of the things that comes immediately to mind for us is how thankful we are for you. Listeners who tune in every day and who connect with us, we hear from you. Sometimes it's when you hear something you don't like on Family Life Today and we appreciate the feedback. We also hear from you when God uses this program in a significant way in your life.

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You can donate online at familylifetoday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate, and we hope to hear from you. We also hope you can join us again tomorrow. Harold and Rachel Earls will be back with us, and we're going to talk about their decision to live life out in the open online through their vlog, their video blog, and explain to you not only why they made that decision, but some of the challenges associated with that choice. I hope you can tune in for that. I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Bob Lapine. We'll see you back next time for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a production of Family Life of Little Rock, Arkansas, a crew ministry. Help for today, hope for tomorrow.