Two of our sons, probably all three, felt this pressure to live up to our expectations.
Some of it was we're in ministry. Pastor of a big church. And I remember one of them said to us one day, and again, now they're adults and they're saying it years later, but it's like, yeah, I stopped drinking in high school just because I didn't want to ruin your reputation. We're like, You didn't stop drinking because it was wrong? No, it's really like your reputation's.
Something I could crush. Do you notice that creating distance? Yeah. And they felt this pressure. And I was like, I don't want you to feel that.
I don't want you to drink, but I don't want you to feel that pressure. And yet we do that as parents in many ways, especially in a Christian household. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Dave Wilson. And I'm Ann Wilson.
And you can find us at FamilyLifetoday.com. This is Family Life Today.
So I'm excited. We're talking about the road to Kay Luma. We started yesterday talking about this new audio drama that Family Life is producing. It's exciting. And you love it.
I love it. Yesterday was. Really fun.
So if you missed yesterday, go back and listen. But if not. Listen to this clip, and then we're going to tell you the exciting news about this coming to you soon. I'm Oryk, son of Chief Yannik. I'm the Kosan.
or heir of Pahar. Our village is full of farmers, miners, and smiths. I'm Mr. Smith. I'm Mr.
Farmer. Nothing really happens here. We live at peace, safely hidden between the Great Galder Mountains and the vast Mayar Sea. I mostly watch my father conduct village business or settle petty disputes. If I'm lucky, I get to train for battles that won't ever happen.
Like I said, nothing happens here. Absolutely nothing at all. I can't for a minute think why you should be interested in my life in any way whatsoever. I guarantee you, nothing of consequence will ever happen here. An event of great consequence has just occurred.
Make haste with eat again. That reminded me of Lord of the Rings, actually. The horns blowing or Jesus coming back. I don't know which one.
Well, I gotta lie. This is the second time I heard that, and I just loved it the first time, and I love it even more because I knew it was coming this time. Anyway, we've got the co-writers and producers back in the studio. Perry and Landon are back. I mean, when you guys hear this, what do you think?
Is it crazy to think like. This started from nothing. But your friendship, your imaginations, and your passion-is it crazy to hear it now? Absolutely. It's mind-blowing.
It is. I mean, yeah, this started with us on taking a couple hours out of our work weekend. What if we wrote something and then to hear two years later, we had a script? Yeah. And man, so many talented people came around us to do the score, the acting.
And so it's sounding phenomenal. I remember when we first got our first pass of music, and I shared it with Landon, and we're listening to it. What did you say? You're like, I'm literally crying. The entrepreneur listened.
Yeah, I may or may not have teared up when I was like, this is the music we have. And that was before we're putting it in sync with our dialogue.
So we're just hearing it dry and we're like, this is amazing. Yeah. Guys, it's the magic of Disney. It's like the soundtrack of your life. When you put music to something, it comes alive.
And remind our listeners, what we talked about yesterday. It's based on. The story in the Bible that Jesus told in Luke 15 of the prodigal, right? The prodigal son. Yep.
You know, even as you hear that, and again, I want to say what we said yesterday. But as you envision parents and families sitting down. or driving on a road trip or whatever they're doing, listening to this. What are you hoping happens between Parents and their kids. Yeah.
Well, you want everyone to listen to just a good story. You know, we need and we bond around good stories. And so that's really what we want people to listen to. And then I think the best stories are one that point us to Christ. And so to be able to have good conversations surrounding that and just a place for parents and kids to talk about some hard things or some difficult things.
And like you also said last time, kids are smart. And we felt like putting, like we say, reimagining the story of the parable of the prodigal son in this fantasy world. We feel like that allows us to explore what the themes would be like in our world that we've created without. Making the kid feel dumb, like we're trying to like trick them into doing the Bible study with us or something. You know, my mom used to sometimes be like, Oh, guys, I want to watch this movie.
It's so great. Oh, that's all. And then, and then it's you know, I might have done that a few times.
So, like, we think our story is engaging for anyone who listens and fun for anyone who listens. What about age? Is age appropriate? How old? Yeah, we're saying age is eight plus.
You'll hear a snippet of a scene at the end of the episode that has our scariest scene in it. The scariest scene's in episode one.
So, if there's ever a scene parents want to screen, listen to that. We have one kind of scary magical creature in there. But we were very intentional to steer clear of anything that would be. Sacrilegious in any way. Yeah, exactly.
And this is supposed to be a. Allegory of a parable, in a sense. And so, even our characters that we have them representative of the father and the elder brother and the younger brother, they're not them. You're the modern-day C.S. Louis.
Don't say it. Don't say it. I see what you're doing here. We just like to say it's our sandbox that we get to show parables or even. We're telling parables or other stories of the Bible or themes of the Bible.
Through this world, like our sandbox, essentially, and Jesus did it better. But hey, if we can throw in a talking bat, you know, there's a talking bat. Yeah, that's that's the scary creature we'll talk about. That's the magical creature.
Well, had to put some magical creatures in there. That's fun. I mean, uh, and anybody that knows the prodigal story, and you know what's exciting if they don't know the story, this is going to make them not only learn it through this, but they're going to go back to the Bible and read it. Yeah. But it's full of family dynamics.
That's right. Father, son, and that could relate to father-daughter, mother, daughter. Oh, yeah. It's all there.
So I want to ask you personally about your life.
So there's. The younger son, who's walked away with his father's inheritance and wasted all in wild living. He comes back full of shame and guilt. Ever been there? Either one of you?
Okay. Oh, yeah. I mean, like I said last time, I resonate with both sons, but and by the way, the older son is full of pride. Yeah. So take either side of that, either one of you.
I mean, I can definitely relate to, like I said last time, the older son and feeling like, oh, I'm not as bad as these guys, you know, like look around at the people around you. I remember I had this friend in high school that we were best buds, but then. You know, I remember he started doing things that I wasn't okay with or I knew were wrong. But you know, this is again with me without maybe that relationship with Jesus, maybe just the legalism kind of leading the way. And I remember having conversations where I was like, oh, if your parents knew, they'd be so mad at you.
And like, it's the things that led that came out of me that were what I was believing that I needed to be. And it really damaged our friendship. And thankfully, we were able to, you know, work out that friendship a little bit. But like, that's kind of when I started to realize: wait a second, I am really critical of others because I feel like I need to be perfect. And you hinted at something.
And I wonder if both of you have ever felt the expectations of your parents. I mean, your parents in full-time ministry. Did you feel that? Like, yeah, whether they did it intentionally or not, I mean, I'm certain they didn't do it intentionally, but like, whether it was things they did. Or just the fact that I was the child of two missionaries, it definitely played a role on the pressure that you feel to perform.
And I know we'll talk about this too. We have a clip kind of lined up. But I looked up to my dad a lot. I thought my dad was the coolest. Still do, to be fair.
Yeah, he's probably listening. Hey, dad. I won't say anything embarrassing. But yeah, I really wanted to be like my dad. I'm a quality time love language.
So I just loved hanging out with him, wanted to be like him. And he was always someone who didn't show a lot of emotion, didn't let things bother him, but also didn't. Show a lot of vulnerability growing up. And so I thought what it took to be a man was to just. Be calm, cool, collected, be funny when it matters, which is all the time.
And then just like not let things rattle you. Cause I, you know, I would see that dynamic with my parents. And so that just led to me putting up this wall that I think my parents probably experienced from me growing up of like, I'm fine. I'm good. I don't need any help.
I don't need to talk about my feelings. You know, I'm good. And you're saying from the outside, you did look good. They probably had nothing to worry about. Yeah.
I was at working with your marriage now with Brooke. You know, I'll tell you what. That part of my life ended before, thankfully, honestly, in dating, I started realizing, well, this is not going to work.
So Brooke definitely has played a huge role in me being able to be more emotionally aware, emotionally mature, vulnerable. We really put that in for both of us, our relationships with our parents into this dynamic between Oryk and his father, Yannick, the chief. And we can talk about that more, but we have a clip looking up that kind of goes into that. And just to set up this clip, so. Yesterday, we heard kind of the big bad guy attack the city.
He's got him surrounded.
So they've got to figure out what to do, how they're going to survive. And so the chief, whose name is Yannick, gathers the elders and they make this plan. And Oryk kind of wanted to contribute, but his dad, the chief Yannick, didn't really take to it too much. And so this scene is sort of their post-discussion of that elder meeting.
So yeah, let's listen in. And your idea was well thought. In time, I may have you brief the messenger on what you know of the tunnels. But couldn't I... Yeah.
Yes, father. I have not ventured into the heart of Montgalder since before I was chief. I know, father. You've told me this story hundreds of times. You defeated the Great Spider, and now Pahar is the most successful mining town in the great continent.
But you still fail to understand the importance of that story, Orik. My victory cemented me as chief. If you are to be chief one day, You will be measured by how you respond in situations such as this. That was a time to fight.
Now is a time to be prudent. Uh You understand? Good.
Now let us clear our minds of this business. You will Make me proud one day. One day? I know you will.
Now I must see to another matter before nightfall.
Okay, um see you later. Good night, son. Make me proud one day? What does he mean one day? I need some fresh air.
Maybe I'll go check on Barbary. Margarita. There's my favorite falcon. Oh, you look hungry. Bye.
Woo! What more do I have to do to make him proud of me, Barbary? I mean, I train hours every day. I sit through countless lessons, meetings. I'm sorry.
I can't let you out tonight. Oh, I know how you feel right now, buddy. He liked my plan. Why not just send me? And then why would he tell me that story about when he went into the mountain?
But does he not have the confidence to send me or Or does he want me to take initiative and just go myself? Maybe that's what he was saying.
Well, if I'm ever gonna be cheap, I have to do what he did and be brave. This is my chance to make him proud by literally doing what he did. I can go through and take the message to the Laboa clan myself. Yeah. I'll be alright.
I've been through before.
Well, most of the way, at least. Thanks, Barbary. I'll be back before you know it.
So is it Barbary? Barbary the Falcon. Barbary the Falcon reminds me of R2D TV. A little mascot or animal or a robot, I guess.
Somebody you can talk to. You can purchase your Barbary fountain at familylife.com slash Barbary. I'm curious, Landon, did you ever feel the pressure to make your parents feel proud? Yeah. The household I grew up in was one of, you know, Obedience and structure, which was all good.
But I think then I keep pressuring myself to, I mean, not only. Walk in spiritual, obedient, godly ways, also to do well in school. And it's actually something that my parents and I have talked about a lot and feeling like I had to do X to make them proud. And it's actually kind of a cool thing, I mean, this wasn't planned or anything, but my parents are big fans of the show. My dad knew I was coming on, and he just said, Hey, I'm praying for you today, and I'm so proud of you, son.
And oh, just to hear. Hear those words just because of who I am as his kid is a very redemptive thing to hear. And I mean, isn't that interesting the power of a parent's affirmation? You're tearing up. Yeah.
Power of a parent. And he didn't say, but I mean, your dad didn't say, I will be proud of you. Right. Like you guys wrote. I hope I can be proud because we have experience, we have some words that we can use.
And it can feel and maybe be manipulation. I can even remember saying to one of our sons. Makes me teary thinking about it too. Even when he was in high school, I knew that he wasn't making the best choices. But I remember saying, Do you know how proud we are of you?
Do you know how proud I am of you? And he would say, No, I don't. And I'm thinking, How do you? I tell you this all the time. In my head, I'm thinking it.
But it reaffirmed, like, he needs me to say it over and over, especially. If it seems like he's not making the right decisions, because that doesn't determine who he is. That doesn't determine if I'm proud of him. I'm proud of him because of who he is in Christ and as my own son. Like, I love who you are, but that's always tricky with parents.
When we don't feel like these guys are messing up, like the prodigal son's father. Has anybody ever thought about the father laying in bed thinking, what did I do wrong to make this child eat the slop of the pigs? I would have been the parent laying in bed thinking, Lord, what have I done wrong? Guys think that? Oh, of course.
You do? A thousand percent. You touched on something that I also don't want to miss either: is that you said. Like, it's like I've got to say it over and over and over, and that's true because, like, you know, if my dad is listening, I don't want him to think that I don't recognize all the times that he's said he's proud of me, he has. I think You got to keep saying it because, for some reason, as a kid, I still felt like I had to earn it.
And so that's kind of like, you know, what we're putting into this story is we want parents to dig a little deeper even than I'm proud of you, but why? And it's because of the identity that can't be taken away. Not by your, not because of your performance necessarily. Or your obedience. Not just because I had a good basketball game and my dad, which and again, I'm not throwing my dad under the bus.
But yeah, and just opening up the doors for that vulnerable conversation, which we wrote into the story later on. Like kids are sometimes just a little thick. I was thick. Like I needed to, it took the 112th time it said for it to finally click, you know? Are you hearing this, parents?
Like we need to say it over and over and over. And it's never. You can never overdo it. Yeah, and some of it's because the second they walk out of the house. They're getting bombarded with a different message.
They're not being told by everybody at the school. Oh, you're amazing. They're told you're nothing. I'm better. You know, it's just, and you come in, and the home should be, the parents' relationship should be.
This is a place I feel love more than anywhere on the planet, regardless of my performance, which is the story of the prodigal. I mean, if there's anything this thing is, and I know you captured it. There's nothing you could do to make me love you more. There's nothing you could do to make me love you less. That's.
The grace of God that parents have to somehow communicate. And you have this tool to help them do it. Yeah. And on that note, I mean, it's interesting, the scene we just heard. Oric didn't get that from his dad.
And so then he goes, Oh, I have to find it somewhere else. I have to do it. And like you said, people are going out to school and like, I'm going to look for approval somewhere else. And that's when Sin comes in. And in Oric's case, he kind of explores what his own way of doing it.
And we'll see the consequences of that as the story goes on. If we were to ask Yannick in that scene and say, Do you love Oric because of who he is? I'm sure he would have said, Absolutely yes. But what Oric is hearing is, he's not proud of me. I haven't done enough to earn it yet.
And I've got to go, this is my chance to do that. And so he goes out and takes it into his own hands. How dangerous it may be. We'll find out if you keep listening to the show. Yeah, I know that.
Two of our sons, probably all three felt this. And I tell you, Ann probably didn't miss it. I missed it as a parent. Understanding them feeling pressure. You said you felt it.
To live up to our expectations.
Some of it was we're in ministry. Pastor of a big church. And I remember one of them said to us one day, and again, now they're adults and they're saying it years later, but it's like, yeah, I stopped drinking in high school just because I didn't want to ruin your reputation. We're like, You didn't stop drinking because it was wrong? No, it's really like your reputation's.
Something I could crush. Do you notice that creating distance? Yeah. And they felt this pressure. And I don't know if they felt it from us, but they felt it.
And it's like, I don't want you to feel that. I don't want you to drink, but I don't want you to feel that pressure. And yet we do that as parents in many ways, especially in a Christian household. And since we're on this topic, fessing up as parents of what to do and what not to do and what we shouldn't have done. And neither of us are parents, by the way.
So let's throw that out. It's amazing you captured this so well, not even being a parent. Grain of salt. Thanks. Seriously.
I think what will happen as a result of what you guys have created are great discussions. And when great discussions happen, I think it's when kids can feel safe enough to share what they really feel. Maybe their insecurities or maybe some things their parents are doing that's hurting them or making them feel insecure or feeling pressure. One of the things one of our sons told me is, mom, when I... tell you things maybe.
that have hurt me or that you've done. I don't want it to become about you.
Sounds so weird. But what would happen, I was like, oh no, I'm so sorry. And then I would overexplain why I did what I did. When he was really looking for is just for me to say, Ah, I'm so sorry. I can see how you would feel like that.
Tell me more.
So, I think as parents, don't get lost in the part like of what you've done. Still make it about them so they can tell you more of what they're feeling. Otherwise, they'll feel like, oh, it hurt her so much. I'm never going to tell them another thing. Does that make sense?
Is that hard as a parent? I mean, this is asking as a kid. I mean, because I can't imagine. having a kid do something, but then also. You're feeling all those things you're talking about, but you don't want to project them back onto your kids.
I'm assuming you have to go to the Lord with it. But that can't be easy. Are you saying like ownership over what they're feeling? Like you feel responsible in that way? Yeah, I think it is hard because we know we're not perfect.
We did our best. But I'm so glad they had the guts to tell us because I think it's making us better. It's sharpening us, just as the word taught us. And I think, you know, your sons, it means a lot to the son or daughter to hear their parents say, I'm sorry. I was wrong.
I didn't know I was wrong, but I hear it now. And I can see what you mean. And I want to do better. It's almost like. Help me know how to do better.
Whether you're 15 or 25 or 35. Right. You know, it's a moment of vulnerability. Man, you talk about a moment to. close the gap of the the bridge or the wall between us.
It's when a parent owns up to I'm sorry. Same thing can happen when the son or daughter does. But man, when the parent who's the one who's in control and has the power, shifts that power, say, this isn't about me. It's about you, and I hurt you, and I'm sorry. I'm not going to do that again.
And as these, that's powerful. I think as these discussions continue with our kids, if your kids fess up to something, like, I just want you to know I did this. Take a breath. Say a prayer, maybe take a day to note. Don't freak out.
You can freak out in the bedroom later. And then say to them, I'm so happy that you told me. I want to know more of what, because it's not about the behavior, it's what created the hate behavior, what's going on inside. They're hurting for some reason and get to that. But I think it's pretty cool that you guys have created a discussion guide to go with this whole thing.
So you help parents and sons and daughters have. Right. Well, I think like you're saying. With your response to that. to the kid coming with Something that's going on, like they're stepping out in vulnerability, and hopefully, they don't have to be the only one that's doing that.
Your response. can create Distance or closeness. Yeah. One or the other. And we're kind of trying to help make it easier by creating a space of vulnerability with the discussion guide so that neither really has to take so much of a leap.
We try to frame it so that parents hopefully will lead the way. But yeah, Landon, I mean, if you could share an example of a question maybe based on. Yeah, I think just kind of to double-click, the structure of this discussion guide is: let's ask parents a question first, allow them to kind of lead with vulnerability. And there's discretion to, you know, how much you share, but then that will hopefully open up a space where the kids can do that.
So in episode one, we ask parents to share a story about a time when you wanted to make someone proud. What did you do? How did it work? And then parents, we encourage you to ask your kids, do you sometimes feel pressure to make me proud? And in what ways do you feel that pressure?
And man, we can just talk about it. That's good. I feel like that'd be perfect. Really powerful conversation. Yeah, so we're going to get to hear one more clip, but let me tell you this: if you want it, you can get it at familylife.com/slash road trip.
And you don't want to miss it. And you'll get the study guide and the conversation. Will they get that with it? Study guy. It'll be all available, all easy to access.
Awesome. All right, we're going to tease you with one more clip. What's this one? Yeah. So we talked about when you don't necessarily have their approval, you look for it elsewhere.
Or takes his own plan and he goes into the heart of Mount Galder, which is the big mountain right by. And he runs into a little bit of a problem with his friend Vera. Let's see what happens. Woo! I hate to break it to you, but that looks like a dead end to me.
Huh? Uh Not anymore. Follow me. Look. Really?
You couldn't have made a bigger. The stone, it's everywhere. Here, grab some. What was that? My torch is out.
Pass me your flint. I can't see. Hold on. Hurry. And he has entered my cab.
Cavern. What is that? I don't know. And once again, that is The Road to Kay Luma, produced by Family Life and Jesus Film. All five episodes are available at familylife.com/slash road trip.
Get it now. Seriously, get it now. Family Life Today is a donor-supported production of Family Life, a crew ministry. helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.
