Say the Right Thing (cont'd)

Many marriages would have not only survived but thrived had somebody not said something that could never be taken back. We need to learn that what we say matters and God calls us, the people of God, to be free from corrupting, decaying, death-providing words. We need to be people who make a difference for good in this world. Hello and welcome to this Monday edition of Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Shepherd, Senior Pastor at Destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont, California.

Thanks for making this part of your day. Well, Pastor Paul calls them dream killers and hope destroyers, people who choose skepticism over support, who speak words of decay and death rather than deliverance and destiny. Over the next 20 minutes or so, he'll give you three practical ways to begin the habit of speaking life and encouragement into the lives of those around you. Stay with us here or download the podcast on demand at pastorpaul.net, at Spotify, or wherever you enjoy your podcasts. Now with this message, Say the Right Thing, here's Pastor Paul. Let me spend the rest of this message time just talking to you about three ways to actually say the right things and they're right here in the scripture. So let me just use three practical ways that we can say the right thing. Here's the first, speak appropriate words at the appropriate time. Speak appropriate words at the appropriate time. Now what do you mean by that, Pastor?

I mean not only do you need to learn the right things to say, but you need to learn to say the right things at the right time. Let me give you an example from scripture. In 1 Samuel chapter 23, you'll see in verses 16 through 18 a very key passage. It talks about Jonathan and David. Now you remember David was for years a fugitive running from King Saul, a man who he had done nothing but love well and serve well. But Saul, because of jealousy and insecurity and being full of himself, couldn't handle that David was anointed, that David was popular, even though David was serving him well. And David wasn't trying to usurp the king's authority in any way, but the king got jealous, tried to kill him, and David for years was a fugitive because of that. So here he is a fugitive on the run and look at Jonathan who is Saul's son. The king's own son comes to find David.

Look at it. Jonathan, Saul's son, rose and went to David and strengthened his hand in the Lord. Wait, how is his son helping the guy Pop is trying to kill? Because Jonathan and David walked in covenant. You need to have some people in your life that you walk in covenant with, that it doesn't matter what loved ones have to say. This is somebody I have their back and they have mine. I want God's best in their life and they want God's best in mine.

You need to have some folk, doesn't have to be a lot. In fact, I found that you usually can't find a whole lot of people to be in covenant with anyway, but don't even worry about it. If you find the right few covenant people, you will be blessed beyond measure. And David and Jonathan walked in covenant and so even though Jonathan knows his dad is trying to kill David, Jonathan goes and finds David who is on the run and look at what happens. When he gets to him, he strengthens his hand in God. Strengthened, he finds him and says, man, we're going to get through this because God is with you. He is building up the man that his dad is trying to kill.

That's what I mean. And look at the appropriate words spoken at this appropriate time. Verse 17, he said to him, do not fear for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You see that? He said, don't worry, my dad ain't going to find you.

Do you see what I mean when I talk about words that produce life rather than death? He said, don't worry about it. I know my dad is trying to kill you, but he's not going to find you.

You're a man of God. And look at the next sentence. He said, you shall be king over Israel. You're going to take my daddy's spot.

Look at this. And I shall be next to you. Now wait, now we've gone real deep. He said, my father's not going to find you to kill you. He said, you are going to be the king, and I am going to be next to you. Now, by all rights, in a royal situation, the king's son is supposed to succeed him. Here's Jonathan, who could have every ambition to be the king after his father. He's saying, no, no, God has already spoken his will. God's will is not that I become king, so I'm not going to be the king. He said, David, you are the next king. You're going to be my dad's successor. And then he says, I am going to be next to you. You can get me a role in your cabinet. I'll be satisfied. You just tell me what you want me to do in your administration, and I'm going to do that.

Imagine somebody who could have their own personal ambition to be the top dog. He says, no, no, this is my covenant brother. I've got to strengthen him. He's weak, he's tired, he's disillusioned.

Why is a man I've done nothing but love trying to kill me? So he goes and finds him, and he tells him, pop's not going to find you. He is going to actually give up the throne because God's going to put you on the throne. And he says, you're going to be the king.

I'm going to be next to you. Saul, my father, also knows this. Look at how he's encouraging him. He said, part of the problem is my dad know that God's hand is on you. He knows this, and he doesn't like it.

But just because he doesn't like it doesn't mean he can do anything about it. This is God's plan. And the two of them made a covenant. They had a covenant before, but they made a fresh covenant. Sometime when you walk in covenant with folk, you got to renew it. New challenges call for new renewing of covenant. You got to restate what you already stated.

And so they renew their covenant, and David remained, and Horace and Jonathan went on back home. Look at that. Now, what does that teach you and me? Our words, the right words, he affirmed them, spoken at the right time. This is a time when he's deeply discouraged, so he needs somebody to come strengthen him. Now, what about you? How good are you at finding the people in your life at a low place and making sure they come up?

How good are you at that? How good are you at seeing somebody discouraged, but by the time you leave them, because you've spoken the right words at the right time, they are encouraged? That's what God is calling for you to be through this passage here in Ephesians 4.

Paul says you can't let corrupting things, you don't show up when David is hurting and say, man, I tell you what, this is really bad. My father ain't right, but man, this got to be a hard time. I bet you about ready to kill yourself, huh? What? You don't plant in somebody's mind what they don't need to be thinking about. I think if that was me, I think I'd have killed myself.

No, no. If you come, strengthen them, and you come and say what the devil is planning, God is not going to let come to pass in your life. I know the enemy has it in for you.

I know people have it in for you. I know certain segments of society have it in for you, but none of those weapons formed against you are going to prosper because you are a child of God. What do you say when somebody has lost a job or something like that and circumstantially it doesn't look good at all? You need to speak God's word. Don't speak what is. Speak what God says shall be. Speak what can be. Say, well, I don't have a word from God.

Well, you know that our God is able to do exceeding abundantly. Above all, we could ask or imagine, so you got to build somebody up. Speak something appropriate and speak it at the appropriate time. I say at the appropriate time because sometimes people say a good thing, but they say it at the wrong time. If you speak good words, but you say it at the wrong time, when a person is not receptive to it, you still miss the mark.

You got to learn to say good things at good times. We'll be right back with more of today's Destined for Victory message from Pastor Paul Shepherd. Remember, you can always listen to the program on demand at pastorpaul.net. That's pastorpaul.net, where you'll find a host of great resources at our online store, including books, MP3 messages, and more from Pastor Paul. And stay with us after the message when Pastor joins me from his studio in California. First, let's get back into the rest of today's teaching, Say the Right Thing.

You can have a good motive, but you got to check your time. Job's friends showed up because they wanted to check on their boy. They showed up, and for days they sat with him.

Good. Sometimes there's the ministry of presence. The ministry of presence, just be there. Some of y'all still got to learn when you don't know exactly what to say, do everybody a favor and don't say anything. Just sitting there is okay. Just came to be with you, man, and sit there.

Anything I can hand you, anything I can do for you, no. Then sit there. Some people always show up, running their mouths, don't know what they're talking about.

So you don't want to be one of them. You want to learn to speak appropriate words at the appropriate time. B, speak words that build people up. Not only speak appropriate words at the appropriate time, but speak words that build people up. See, the opposite of corrupting words are empowering words. The opposite of corrupting words are uplifting words. The opposite of corrupting words are confidence-building words.

Sometimes you have to build somebody. They're beat down, broken down. They have low self-esteem or low sense of this is going to turn out well.

They are mired in confusion or mired in thinking this is going to go poorly, and you've got to build them up. An example of that in Scripture, there are lots of them. The one that came to mind as I was preparing this part of the series is I thought about Gideon. Do you remember in the book of Judges, chapter 6, we're told how the Midianites were just beating up on God's people and God let it happen because he wanted to discipline his people anyway, and so he let the Midianites do what they were doing and just dogging God's people out. And finally, the people cried to the Lord there in Judges, chapter 6. They cried to the Lord, and God was waiting for them to cry to him, and then he sent a prophet and said, Now, look, you all brought this on yourself, and so you just need to know that you can't do the wrong things and expect God to bless you.

And that's a word for all of us. You want to be blessed, you better get your act together and do what God has told you to do in the first place. Now, I want you to look then at verse 12 of Judges, chapter 6. And the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon and said to him, The Lord is with you, watch this, almighty man of valor. Now, you say, okay, big deal. The Lord's with him, almighty man, because what's the big deal?

Glad you asked. Answer is, because when you looked at Gideon, you thought many things, but mighty man of valor was not one of them. Gideon acted more like a wimp than a warrior, more like a defeated person than a mighty man. Gideon had no war experience. Gideon was the kind of guy who was quite average in every way. In fact, by description in this passage, by his own mouth, he said, I am the least in my family, and my clan is not particularly known for being anything special.

I come from average folk, and I am the least in an average family among average folk. I'm not in the starting five on the basketball team. I'm at the end of the bench. They don't put me in. They hardly put me in, even when we are leading by 39 points, and it's four minutes left. They don't even think to put me in to let the other guys rest.

I'm at the end of the bench, swirling a towel. Do you see? That's Gideon. Gideon is a guy, if you got to fight, you don't call him.

Come on, man, we got to go fight. He's not who you call. That's the Gideon of Judges 6, and that's the guy that the angel of the Lord shows up and says, the Lord is with you, O mighty man of valor. The Lord, huh, what? At the moment the angel showed up, Gideon was in a wine press threshing wheat.

You don't thresh wheat in a wine press. He was doing that because he was afraid if he went out in the open air, the Midianites might spot him, they'd come take all his wheat and beat him up. That's Gideon, I'm hiding in the wine press. Don't tell anybody I'm here.

That's Gideon, but God looks at him and calls him a mighty warrior and says, I'm with you, don't worry about it, I'm with you. That's what you got to do for people, build them up. Stop telling them what is and tell them what can be. It's easy to say what is. Some of you all are anointed to speak the obvious. You got to learn to be anointed to speak what could be, what God wants to happen, and you got to speak God's truth, God's power, God's miracle working ability into somebody's life, and that's your job. Third and final thing, the way to say the right thing, speak words that offer people help or hope. Speak words that offer people help or hope. In other words, if you're not going to be helpful, if you're not going to be hopeful, keep your mouth shut. Just don't say anything. You're looking at something, maybe you don't know how to be helpful, so until you learn this principle I'm sharing with you, you're not used to being hopeful, so until you learn it, just don't say anything. Stop telling people the negative. They already know that, they already living that, they already experiencing that. Oh, the world's just going to hell in a handbasket.

Thank you so much. No, no, I need to know what God's going to do about it through people who will stand up and say, God, I want to be used of you in these dark times. Speak words that offer people help or hope. Let me give you an example you're very familiar with from the Gospel of John chapter 8, the woman caught in the act of adultery.

Look at how Jesus shows us how to offer people help or hope. Verse 3 says, The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, placing her in the midst, and said to Jesus, Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the law Moses commanded to stone such women. So what do you say? First of all, they lied on Moses. Moses didn't say, When you find a couple in the act of adultery, grab the woman and stone her.

But that's what they said. They said she was caught in the act, which means there were two people. We're smart people. We've done a lot of good, smart things in this world. None of us have learned how to commit adultery by ourselves.

You can't do that alone. So there was another person there. They waited for bruh to get up, put his robe on, leave.

And they went and grabbed the woman, dragged her out. Moses said, Stoner, what do you say? You know, I'm almost out of time. I can't walk you through the whole thing.

You know what happened. Jesus first just, rather than answer the question, he started writing in the ground. And whatever he wrote, he then finished by saying, Okay, those of you who are without sin, go on and cast the first stone. Whatever he wrote reminded them, but you're not without sin. I don't know what he wrote. Every now and then I hear somebody go, Oh, I believe I know what God said.

Please. Whatever it was got their attention. I don't know what it was, Jerusalem Holiday Inn. Who knows what it was?

You're not messing around, but you get the point. Whatever he wrote got their attention. And they walked away.

Now, watch this hope and help. Go down to verse 10 of John 8. Jesus stood up after he's cleared out all the hypocrites, said to her, Woman, where are they?

The people who just dragged you out here. Has no one condemned you? She said, No one, Lord. Ooh, watch this one. And Jesus said, Neither do I condemn you.

Wait. The holy Son of God speaking to an adulterous woman says I don't condemn you? That's exactly what he said.

You know why? He didn't come to the world to condemn the world. John 3.17. He didn't come for condemnation. Condemnation was already on us because of sin. He didn't come to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved. So he said, I'm not here to condemn you.

You see I got rid of all your hypocrite accusers. Then he's offering help and hope. He says, Now go on and sin no more.

That's not condemnation. That's hope. He said, You can live better than this. You don't have to sleep with these men to try to be significant. You don't have to lower yourself.

You don't have to have a sugar daddy. Come on. Jesus has given hope and help. And you and I, child of God, are called to live our lives from this day on saying the right thing. Here in this scene, Jesus accomplished a couple of things at the same time. He convicted everyone of their sin, the woman as well as the crowd, with the perfect blend of grace and truth. He saved the woman's life because after hearing Jesus' words, the crowd laid down their rocks and walked away.

Two birds, no stones. Now, as promised, Pastor Paul Shepherd joins me from his studio in California. Pastor, today's message is part of a series of messages entitled Embracing Newness.

Can we talk about this newness and what that's all about for a moment? Yeah, I was studying the book of Ephesians, like I've done over the years, for a new approach to some of the concepts that Paul shares. And I locked in on a few verses there in Ephesians chapter 4. And it dawned on me that spiritual growth and development will always have this three-fold approach. And what I mean by that is Paul says there are some things you have to put off and then you have to renew your mind and then there are some things God wants you to add to your life. And as I was studying that this time, I thought, wow, that will preach in a way I probably never focused on in past Ephesians series. And so I decided to take those messages and talk about embracing newness because you've got to be willing to take off some things in preparation for what God wants to do in your life. Then you have to allow him to renew your mind so that when you put on the newness, it becomes part of who you really are. And so our spiritual growth and development really will always have those three aspects.

And I hope this series is going to make that real clear. You know me, I like to be practical, so I talk about really practical things because Paul does there in Ephesians 4. For instance, he says, y'all got to quit lying and tell the truth.

Pretty practical. Yeah, and I had never really thought about that. Like, wow, he's writing believers, but he didn't assume that they're automatically going to tell the truth because they're saved. So he gives us the instructions how to put off lying, how to renew our minds, and how to add truth-telling to our lives. And I unpack that and many other concepts in this series. I think it's going to be a real help and blessing to listeners. I look forward to hearing from you as to how God uses this series in your life.

It's been a great series so far, Pastor. We look forward to the next several days as we discover how to embrace the newness our life in Christ offers. Well, we have a great resource to share with you today, yours by request for your generous donation to Destined for Victory. It's a booklet from Pastor Paul titled You're in God's Army Now. It's a great companion guide to the messages earlier this month right here on Destined for Victory, one that explains how to be an effective soldier in the Army of God. That's You're in God's Army Now, a booklet from Pastor Paul, and our gift to you by request for your gift to Destined for Victory. Call us at 855-339-5500 or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California 94538. Again, our address is Destined for Victory, Box 1767, Fremont, California 94538. We, people of God, need to aim for not a million followers.

999,000 of them might be fake. We need to aim for one like, and that comes from on high. That's what we need. I need him to like me. I need him to be pleased with me. That's next time in Pastor Paul Shepherd's message, Junk Removal for the Soul. Until then, remember, he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are Destined for Victory.