Built to Last, Part 4

I want to tell you that God is calling you to a place in your life where you are willing to sacrifice for the persons that he brings into your life.

There is no point in having a love that doesn't go out of its way. In a world that champions self-improvement, God has called us to live a life of self-denial. Hello and welcome to this Thursday edition of Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Shepherd, Senior Pastor at Destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont, California. Today Pastor Paul continues his in-depth look at the seven building blocks of healthy relationships. He covered the first three in earlier messages, and you'll find them on demand at pastorpaul.net.

That's pastorpaul.net. As we move ahead in our study, we come to building block number four, sacrifice. Loving others the way God wants you to means you'll sometimes have to go out of your comfort zone to meet someone else's need. We see a wonderful picture of this kind of love in the relationship between Jonathan and David. Their story begins next in today's Destined for Victory message, Built to Last.

Here's Pastor Paul. God, I can count on. We ought to be able to count on one another most of the time, especially when we have a meeting in the mind, especially when we're growing in character, growing in maturity. We ought to be able to be relatively dependable.

But make sure you understand that has an asterisk. People can be dependable to an extent, but by then you got to realize that we're all in the process of growing and maturing and becoming able to be all that God wants us to be. We're all on a journey and every now and then on my journey, I get so focused on something I'm dealing with until I can temporarily lose sight of you. I'll pick you back up soon, but give me the right to be human. Give the people in your life the right to be human. And what will help you is if you get in touch with your own humanity. Because the reality is all of us are going to have those moments when we're not perfectly capable of meeting each other's needs. But in general, your relationships will be blessed of the Lord if you will clarify expectations and desires with the people in your life.

Now, I want to move on and cover the last four building blocks and I'll let you go. Building block number four of relationships that will help you accomplish God's will for your life is sacrifice. Look at 1 Samuel 18 verse 4. The Bible says Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David along with his tunic and even his sword, his bow, and his belt.

Get the picture here now. Who is Jonathan? Jonathan is the son of the king. Jonathan is a wealthy young man. Jonathan is a privileged young man. Jonathan is a man who lives on the good side of the tracks. The wealthy side of the tracks.

The place where you look and drive by and say wow. That's where Jonathan lives. He lives in the palace. He lives with the king.

The king is his daddy. Jonathan is hooked up. But because Jonathan now has entered into relationship with David, look at what he does. He divests of his own privilege in order to invest in a young man who grew up the son of one of the subjects in the kingdom. He is investing in David who years ago was just a lowly shepherd boy. And now he's growing into a young man but he has no wealth, he has no privilege, he has no socioeconomic pedigree that is impressive to anybody.

He's just plain old folks. And Jonathan is willing to sacrifice of himself in order to be a blessing to David. In fact when I read that verse, it is reminiscent of Jesus Christ. Because Jesus came from privilege. Jesus lived at the right hand of the father. Jesus lived where it's all good. But he looked at our lowly estate.

He saw that without him we would be pitiful. And he said I don't need to hang out here and enjoy who I am and my privilege when they're suffering, when they are hopeless, when they are in need of a savior. And so Jesus divested of his privilege in heaven. Wrapped himself up in the clothing of humanity.

Came into the world through the womb of a virgin named Mary. Lived among us. Didn't condemn us, didn't walk around telling everybody you're going to hell.

That's why you self-righteous Christians need to get out of that habit. If Jesus who was holy didn't walk around condemning folk to hell, what in the world are you doing? Jesus lived among us and he loved us. The Bible says he was a friend of publicans and sinners. Jesus could hang out with folk while they were in their mess. Because he knew what he came to do.

He came to show them what the father looked like. He came to show them that there was a way out of what you are involved in. And ultimately he showed his love by going to the cross and there his sinless sacrifice was sufficient for your salvation and mine. And let me tell you something, you are saved today.

Not because of anything you've done. You're saved today because Jesus divested of his royal privilege in order to invest in your salvation. And when I read this I think of Jesus because that's exactly what he did. He was the son of God but the son of God became the son of man so that the sons of men could become sons of God.

He divested in order to invest in us. He brought us up to the place where we too could be sons and daughters of the living God. Now what does it take? Whenever that kind of thing happens it is the result of sacrifice. Sacrifice.

I want to tell you that God is calling you to a place in your life where you are willing to sacrifice for the persons that he brings into your life. There is no point in having a love that must be convenient in order to help its object. There is no point in having a love that doesn't go out of its way. Because how many know most of the time if you're going to be a blessing to people you're going to have to go out of your way.

I mean it just isn't that convenient to help people these days. You're going to have to go out of your way. And guess what? God will so design it that you have to sacrifice because without sacrifice there's no depth. If someone says they love you and they're not willing to go out of their way for you, that is not mature love.

Now let's look at it in the natural. Let's look at it in a romantic relationship. If somebody says they love you and they are not willing to sacrifice for you, you need to know right now. Before you get married you're seeing the best there is.

Let me help the singles right quick while I'm making this general point. If somebody won't pay special attention to your needs, won't go out of their way now, you trust me it's not going to get better. Come on married folk do y'all have a witness?

It's not going to get better. You are seeing the best. Remember that old Anita Baker song giving you the best that I got? This is it right here. I specialize in the years that I did pre-engagement counseling.

Now I teach my pastoral staff so that they specialize in it as a minister to folk. I help people understand that if you are seeing a stinginess now, you are not going to see liberality later. If they stingy now, they're going to be super stingy later. If they're hemming and hawing now, you say well I heard such and such of concerts coming, why don't you get some tickets? I'm not going to buy them all.

Do you see the price on them tickets? Well if they won't hook you up now, you are seeing what you need to see. And don't be in denial.

Call it what it is. If they're unwilling to sacrifice, unwilling to go out of their way, unwilling to be flexible, then they are showing you that they lack the ability to love you in a mature fashion that will be a blessing to you. Because love, when it grows up, understands that sacrifice is just an ordinary expression of love. When Jacob went down to his uncle Laban's house and found Rachel and said the Lord is my shepherd, I see what I want.

What happened? Laban said, as was common in their culture, Laban put a price on marrying his daughter. He said well if you want to marry my daughter, you're going to have to work for me for seven years. Didn't he say it?

And what's the next verse say? The Bible says that Jacob worked seven years because he loved Rachel and it seemed to him like just a few days. The sister said that's what I'm talking about.

That's what I'm talking about. Man, Jacob worked for years and it seemed like a few days. He did what it took. If the price tag is seven years, I'm paying.

I'm not going to fuss, try to get it down. Why don't you cut me a break, man? I'm not going to try to negotiate down three and a half, why don't I work three and a half years, then you give me credit for good time. No, no, he worked the seven, if that's the price for your daughter, seven years it is.

And it seemed like a few days. Jacob was working every now and then, he'd look over at Rachel and say ha ha, that's what I'm talking about. And he'd go back to working.

He'd take a little break, go over there and talk to Rachel for a few minutes and he'd get back to work, man. Sacrifice! Stay with us, the second half of Pastor Paul Sheppard's message is coming right up. We want to thank all of you who support Destined for Victory with your prayers and financial support. Gifts that help Pastor Paul share the joy of the Gospel message with a growing audience. Prayerfully you realize that Destined for Victory is supported entirely by friends like you, and this summer when donations to the ministry often decline, your support is very much needed.

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Again the number is 855-339-5500. And now for more on what genuine, godly love is supposed to look like, let's rejoin Pastor Paul for the rest of today's Destined for Victory message, Built to Last. If somebody isn't willing to sacrifice for you, their love for you is not mature.

It's not what you can count on. They ought to be willing to do whatever it takes in order to express love for its object. The Bible says Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing. This isn't just any old robe, this is the robe of the son of the king.

This is the type of clothing David would never expect to own in a lifetime. But he takes it off and says, by doing that, all of my wealth, all of my privilege, all of my resources, since they belong to me and I am one with you, they now belong to you. And this is in a platonic relationship, a godly relationship. I'm not talking about just in marriage, but in our relationships in the body of Christ, we've got to live at the level of sacrifice where we say, if I have it and you need it, you've got it. I don't have to pray and fast.

Oh, this is going to help somebody if you let it. If you have a glaring need and somebody has obvious ability to meet the need and they always got to go into prayer and fasting, something's wrong. Because the norm in the body of Christ is if I have it and you need it, you've got it. Now there are exceptions, you've got to differentiate the needy from the greedy.

Because there are people who have a welfare mentality and they live their lives expecting somebody to take care of them. And love sometimes has to be tough enough to say, it would not be a blessing to you if I keep enabling wrong behavior and wrong attitude. And there are times when you have to nail people to the wall of responsibility. The apostle Paul did that when he wrote the church at Thessalonica. He said, I heard you got some folk around there who are spiritual and shiftless. They love church and say they love God, but they hate work.

And Paul wrote the church at Thessalonica. He said, you all ought to live by the rule I gave you when I was there in person. If someone will not work, do not let them eat.

Oh, it's right in your Bible. Don't let them eat. If they have opportunity and everything, all things being equal, they can be productive, they can hold down a job and they just would rather live off the goodness of other people. And Paul said, in effect, there is a cure for laziness. It's called hunger.

Let them get hungry enough where they'll work. That's what Paul said. So I'm not pushing sloppy agape. I'm not pushing a little sappy love where folk can just take advantage of you and you just smile.

No, no. Sometimes you have to call people to responsibility. But the flip side of the coin is I ought to be willing, my ground zero position ought to be if I can be a blessing to the people God has brought into my life, I am willing to sacrifice so that your life is better. And that's the norm. That's the way love acts. What is the price? What do I have to pay to demonstrate my love? And it pays the price.

Pays the price. Jacob says seven years, no problem. And you know what happened in the Jacob story? You remember that? The wedding celebration came, he thought he was getting Rachel, and then the wedding night came. And apparently in that custom, the bride was introduced into the wedding chamber in darkness. That had to be the case because he slept with the woman all night.

Woke up in the morning, sunlight hit him. And it was not Rachel, it was Leah, her sister. Jacob ran out of there, went to Laban.

What did you do? I gave you seven years. And Laban said, oh, you mean I didn't tell you? No, no, in our custom you can't have the younger daughter till the oldest one's married. He said you worked those seven years for Leah. Now, in order to get Rachel, that's another seven years.

And the Bible says, although he didn't like it, he had to peel off another seven years. But here's my point, love will make the sacrifice it needs to make. Here's a question then. What have you done for others lately that you say you love? How much of your time, sweat, money, ability have you spent on them without expecting or needing a direct benefit back to you? See, some people will only sacrifice for you if it's an investment that they get a return on.

You ever met them? They live from the position of what's in it for me. If I do this for you, what do I have coming back? Well, you got to understand that love doesn't require a return. Love has its own built in joy of just being a blessing. It's what Jesus meant when he said it is more blessed to give than to receive.

Do you know that there are some folk who think Jesus lied? Some people say I never in my life have felt better giving than receiving. That's because your love hasn't grown up. When your love grows up, you can bless people and it is more exciting to see them blessed than if somebody blessed you. Oh, that's why it's only 17 people saying amen.

I want to thank you all for those 17 amens. And the rest of us have to learn it by living it. You can get to a place where you sacrifice and seeing somebody else blessed is its own reward in your life. And I'm not talking about helping them off the top where you don't miss it because that's not sacrifice. That's why tithing is such a wonderful principle because it is equal giving even though not equal amount. It is everyone saying as the starting point for my giving, I'm going to honor God with the first 10% of what he's blessed me with. And whether I'm poor or whether I'm wealthy, the amounts don't matter.

It is the fact that I have the same starting point. And God is honored because I am simply saying by this, I'm expressing that I want to begin the process of being generous. But here's what you got to understand. Tithing is a wonderful starting point.

But guess what? The 10% doesn't belong to God, the 90% does. So sometimes God will test you past your tithe. You ever had him push you past the tithe?

And you're like, wait a minute, didn't you see that check out this rope? And he'll push you past the tithe. Why? Because the 90% belongs to him. And God will tell you to give up something that you feel. See if you get your finances to the place where tithing isn't felt, where it's a good starting point, but when you get to the place where you don't feel the loss of the tithe, God's going to push you more.

Because your love for God has got to express itself through sacrifice. And he's going to push you. And he'll show you a need in the body of Christ. He'll show you a ministry need.

And he'll say, I want you to take care of that. That's the question we should all be asking ourselves. How far are we willing to go to be a blessing? Service to God and to others comes with a price, but the rewards are always worth the sacrifice. Do you need prayer today? Visit pastorpaul.net and use the contact us feature at the top of the homepage to share your request with us. Our ministry is always ready and willing to join you in prayer. When you stop by, be sure to ask for Pastor Paul's monthly letter of encouragement, yours at no cost or obligation.

Well, it's the start of a brand new month here on Destined for Victory, and that means we have a new special offer to share with you. Introducing Pastor Paul Shepherd's booklet, Finding Strength in Tough Times. Based on Pastor Paul's upcoming messages when destiny seems delayed and finding strength, this great resource will help you learn to deal with the time period between God's promise and its fulfillment.

As you follow along, you'll discover three lessons from David's years as a fugitive that will help you handle your season of waiting in a way that prepares you for the promise God has ready for you. That's Finding Strength in Tough Times, our thank you gift to you by request for your generous gift to Destined for Victory today. Call 855-339-5500 or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538.

Again, that address is Destined for Victory, Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538. Blood may be thicker than water, but some things are thicker still. Here's Pastor Paul. When God brings people into your life, it goes past even the natural family bond.

And the Bible here says that Jonathan looks out for the best interest of David to the point where he protects him from his enemy who is Jonathan's own father and who is the king. That's tomorrow in Pastor Paul Shepherd's message, Built to Last. Until then remember, he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are Destined for Victory. .