Hello, and welcome to Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Shepard. Glad you're with us today to study God's Word together. Up next, we'll share Pastor Paul's message, Fatherhood by the Book. But first, Pastor Paul's daughter, our executive director Alicia Shepherd Greer, has some exciting news to share with you. I'm excited to announce that in June, we are offering for the first time a new compilation of Let My People Smile on video.
One of the things that many of you really love about my dad's teachings is that he makes learning enjoyable. Even when the subject matter is convicting, he finds a way to deliver God's word without watering it down at all and yet still make it funny, down to earth, and relatable. And if you think about it, that's such a rare combo to find these days.
So thank you so much for continuing to support this ministry.
So, I hope you enjoy this collection of light-hearted teaching clips from his latter years on video. It's available as a thank-you gift to anyone who sends in their most generous donation of $25 or more only in June. God bless you. Let my people smile as Pastor Paul, I think, at his very best, combining biblical wisdom with his unique style and humor. And for the first time, we're making it available on video.
You can choose from DVD or a streaming link when you make your most generous gift of $25 or more here in June. And if the Lord is leading you to give, we've got several options. First, you can stop by pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. Second, you can call us at 855-339-5500. That's 855-339-5500 to give your gift.
Or if you prefer, you can mail that gift to Destined for Victory, post office box 1767, Fremont, California, 94538. The Bible. Challenges fathers to be present. You were present in the making of the child, and that's because God designed it so that you had to be involved because He was showing you by His very design: if it takes two to raise them, then He's not giving you a pass once you made the child. You want to be a man after God's own heart, you've got to understand that God has called you to be present in the lives of your children.
The best gift a father can give his children is himself. On today's Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Shepard, we'll help you discover just how important a Father's presence is in the lives of His children and where men should go to find out what that looks like to be a godly Father.
Now, let's get started with today's Destined for Victory message: Fatherhood by the Book. And I'm here to tell you that if you will present yourself to God, that will be the beginning. Of a process of deliverance. And blessing Unlike anything you've ever experienced. And so, if you truly want to be a father by the book, You want to love God.
You want to get in right relationship with yourself, meaning you need to come to know where you are and go there with the Lord so that He can transform you. And it is in that context that he can then make you a father. He can then make you a man after God's own heart.
Now, when it comes to fatherhood, there are some specific responsibilities God gives to fathers.
Now, these principles are good for parenting in general, and so mothers take these principles for what they're worth in your life.
Some of you are single mothers. I want to encourage you: if you're a single mom, you have to function somewhat as both mom and dad, at least in this season of your life. We stand with and support you and pray God's blessings as you do your very best parenting. And let me tell you, God can honor you right where you are, and He will bless you right where you are. And so you have every right to stand in that place and say, Lord, make me a woman of wisdom who can raise my children in the training and instruction of the Lord.
So take these principles for what they're worth, no matter whether you're a dad or mom. But I want to especially challenge dads with these principles. The first is this: be present. The Bible challenges fathers to be present. You were present in the making of the child, and that's because God designed it so that you had to be involved because He was showing you by His very design, if it takes two to raise them, then He's not giving you a pass once you've made the child.
If you want to be a man after God's own heart, you've got to understand that God has called you to be present in the lives of your children. God didn't call you to be a sperm donor only, He didn't call you to be a sperm donor. He called you to be a dad. This is not a matter of sperm. This is a matter of standing in the place of fatherhood.
And saying, This is part of my calling, and my goal is to do it so well that one day I hear the Lord say, well done. Good and faithful servant.
Now I want to challenge you, if you want to be a father by the book, then you've got to make the commitment to be present. I'm not just talking about physical presence. I'm talking about playing an active role in your children's upbringing and in their development, being present in their lives, being present, being aware of the children that God has given you and being present to help meet them at the point of their need. Paul said in Ephesians chapter 6, verse 4, speaking to fathers, he said, Fathers, do not exasperate your children. What's that mean, Pastor?
That means don't work your kids' nerves. Don't be harsh with them. Don't be unreasonable with them. Don't be the kind of person where when they see you coming, they head in the other direction. Don't exasperate your children.
A father, by design, is not meant to be someone children run from. A father is meant to be one that children run to. Don't exasperate them. God calls a man to be the kind of man that when they see him, they say, Daddy, daddy. Not, oh Lord, let me get out of here.
Don't exasperate your children. Next sentence. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Now, you can't bring them up if you're not present in their lives. Says, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Bring them up, don't send them up. In the training and instruction of the Lord. But your ideal calling is to bring them up.
Play an active role. In them learning. Who God is and what His plan and purpose is for their lives. The Bible says that's part of your call to do that. This word in Ephesians 6:4 is to fathers, and that calling is to bring them up.
Be involved. Play the role God has given you to play. Get to know those children that God has given you. What are their needs? How should I bring them up?
Get to know who they are.
Now, some would say, well, What do you do in a case where I didn't know this kind of truth? Pastor, I wasn't saved. I wasn't under your ministry. And so, you know, I made some major mistakes. I don't live in the same home with my children.
I'm not married to their mother. What do I do? I'm not able. To be physically present with them day in and day out. I wish I could make some changes.
I wish I could have done some things differently. Don't be discouraged, my brother. You can always, from where you are, you can always find your way into the center of God's will.
So, don't sweat where you are. If where you are is not ideal, if where you are is not in the same physical home, maybe she is married to someone else, or for whatever reason, it is not possible, it is not feasible for you to be physically in that home day in and day out, then you've got to get some godly counsel around your situation. Everybody's situation is different, but you need to seek the counsel of a pastor or a godly mentor and say, Here's my circumstance. I want to be involved to the best of my ability. Can you help me understand what God would have me do?
And I'm here to tell you that there is a role. That you can play in such a way as to be present and involved, even if not in the home day in and day out, which is the ideal, then find God's plan and purpose for you based on your circumstances. But whatever you do, make the decision that you will not have anyone that you brought into this world who does not know. That you, as their biological father, love and care about them. In fact, I have met some men who, in the course of sitting under this kind of discipleship and teaching, and recognizing the mistakes they made, and maybe their children are now grown and out on their own.
But sometimes there is a real spiritual exchange that happens when you sit down and write a letter or make a phone call to a child that may now be an adult to say, you know what, when I was younger and had the opportunity to raise you, I was in sin or I wasn't getting good teaching.
Now I'm saved by grace.
Now I'm in a Bible-believing church and I'm being taught how to be a man by the word. And I want to let you know that I'm sorry that I didn't play a better role in your life. Imagine the healing that could happen in the heart of some child who perhaps has grown up wondering, why didn't my father love me enough to be in the house with me? Why didn't he love me enough to marry the woman he made me with? And maybe that plague, maybe that yoke is on them and is burdening them all of their lives.
Imagine what would happen when a phone call comes or email or mail comes from somebody who says, Listen, I'm learning more and I wish I had the opportunity to do some things different, but I want you to know that I love you. And even now, if there's anything I can do to help you, I want to be there for you. Because they need you to be present. They need you to be present. They need to know the guy who brought me here cares about me.
You've seen it just like I've seen it. I've seen folk who can't be grown, can't truly get on. They are chronologically adults, but children inside because there's still a disconnect. They still have unanswered questions. I wonder why that guy didn't love me.
How could he just walk away? How could he not even know what my favorite color is? How can he not know what what I got good grades in and what I struggled in? He wasn't there. Children long for that.
That helps form their identity. That helps them get a clear picture of who I really am. Yeah. And so the Bible says This is part of God's calling. And you know, it's amazing that research bears it out.
That children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school. Again, single parents, you can believe God for your children do well in school despite the fact that they don't have a father in the home with them. I'm not making the point that you can't help them do well. I'm pointing men toward their calling. Please understand me.
I'm pointing men toward their calling. I'm helping the world by saying to men: if we will find our way in the plan of God, business will pick up for the better in our world. And research proves that children are more likely to do well in school, more likely to have healthy self-esteem, more likely to exhibit empathy toward others. More likely to have pro-social behavior. More likely to avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity.
As compared with children who have unloving or uninvolved fathers. I'm not talking about any old man in the house. I'm talking about men who are learning to be men after God's own heart. I'm talking about godly men. In case you joined us late, you're listening to Destined for Victory, featuring the teaching ministry of Pastor Paul Shepard.
Stay with us, the second half of today's message is straight ahead. One of the things we love to do for friends and listeners like you is to pray for you when you're in need.
So, if you have a prayer request, please visit pastorpaul.net and use the contact feature to share it with us. Our ministry team is always happy to lift you up in prayer. And of course, when you stop by our website, remember that's where you can listen to the broadcast on demand at your convenience: pastorpaul.net. And if you want to be a good father, the first thing you have to do is show up, be present, be involved. But there's far more to the job than that.
So let's get you back to the rest of today's message: Fatherhood by the book. See, you are not a father by virtue of being in the house. You're a father by virtue of your commitment. Because a lot of women who don't understand this and just drag any old male into their family thinking that a male is going to make a difference. The Bible didn't say a male would make a difference.
In fact, a male can make a big mess. And some of y'all learned that in your sins, and some of y'all I'm trying to preach out of your sins right now need to learn it. Your children don't need a male. They don't need a bunch of uncles. Oh my Lord.
Pastor, you're sure rough these days. I've been pastoring too long not to be rough. I've been fastering too long. I'm I'm 25 years as I preach this message, 25 years into pastoral ministry. I have learned too much.
To skirt the issue. Your children don't need a bunch of guys they all call in Uncle Bob, Uncle Jim, Uncle Frank. Who's at the house tonight? Y'all need to come out of your sins. and say I'd rather be a godly single person than an ungodly Well, he's playing the role of a father.
He can't play the role of a father biblically until he plays the role of a husband. And if we will line our lives up with the Word of God. We'll get God's results. Be present fellas. God calls you to be present.
Number two, be a priest. The word of God calls us to be a priest. What do I mean by that? I mean a priest in the sense of you. Speak to God about your children.
You intercede for your children in the presence of God. A good biblical example is the man named Job. You know his story. We talk about Job in many different ways. We talk about his suffering.
You know, the fact that he trusted God through a very dark time. But you need to understand the man who God chose to go through what he went through. And of course, the Lord brought him out on the other side. But you need to learn some things about Job. It says in the first chapter, first few verses of Job, that he lived in the land of Uz, not the land of Oz.
This was a real man in the land of Uz. He was blameless and upright. He feared God, shunned evil, had seven sons, three daughters. He owned 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, 500 donkeys. He had a large number of servants.
The man was the bomb. But most of all, did you get it? He feared God, he shunned evil. See, you can do things God's way. And the Bible says his sons used to take turns holding Feast in their homes.
And they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. The man had a functional family. Functional family. The man raised boys who were so straight when they had their feast. They actually liked their sisters and invited their sisters to come.
You know that's a functional family. When the boys can pick anybody for the invitation list they want, and they say, Let's put our sisters on and put Patty on there. Put Gwen, those my two sisters name. You know, that's a functional founding when you actually like your siblings. Job had raised his kids right.
And I'm here to tell you. that you can do it right. But in the course of that, look at what it says in verse 5 of Job 1. When the period of feasting had run its course, kids had these feasts and enjoyed themselves, Job would send and have them purified. Early in the morning, he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of his kids.
Saying, perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts. This was his regular custom. This was his regular custom. Do you see? The Bible says, here is a man who didn't take for granted that his kids had rights standing before God.
He said, I want to make sure. That they have right standing before God.
Now, this is Old Testament era. But you can get the principle.
Now we don't offer burnt offerings. Jesus is our sacrifice. And today, the way you would live this out is you would take your children to Jesus and say, Lord, I want you to save them by your grace. And you pray for your kids until they come to know Jesus for themselves. And the Bible says this was his regular custom to pray for his children, to stand before God in the place, in the gap, and to pray for his children.
Dad, I want to let you know that prayer is not just a mom's job. Prayer is a dad's job. In the plan of God. Nothing like a praying dad. Nothing like a dad whose children they know.
My dad loves God, he worships God, and he talks to God about what's going on in his life and in mine. Imagine the security that a generation would have when they see their fathers praying for them. The Bible says it's his regular custom to pray for them. I want to encourage you to not only pray for your children, but especially those of you who are raising them in your home and are in those years where you're really shaping their sense of who they are and you are to be modeling for them how they are to live their lives. I want to challenge you to not only pray for them, but find those times of praying with them.
of praying with them. You who are very young dads, get your kids in the habit of knowing that part of what you do in their lives is you pray for them and you pray with them. One of the things that my wife and I made up our minds to do as our children were beginning to come up was to pray not only for them but to pray with them. And so we would gather them in the family room at times and just have family prayer. And I've enjoyed praying for them.
And I would put my hands on my children when I prayed for them one by one. We got two. I'd pray, lay my hand on Alicia. And we first got out here to California, she was five and Aaron was three. And so I would lay my hands on her.
She didn't, and just pray about whatever stage they're in, whatever level they can understand. Let them hear you praying for them. I'd pray for her. She's getting ready to go to school and pray for her. God bless her in her school and what have you.
And she'd come back and trying to make friends, pray with her that God will bless her with some good friends, not these little raggedy baby kids, find some. Pooh! Had to intercede, Jesus. Oh my God. Raise up some children, Lord.
Who been raised like they have some sense? Lay hands and pray. Then I'd get to Aaron, he's three. Pray for him. He wasn't in school yet, but he had his three-year-old trials and tribulations.
Pray over those. I'll never forget one night we were having prayer, and Aaron had come in the room and said, Come on in the family room, we're gonna pray before everybody goes to bed. And so it came in, but we started talking or something, and he was across the room and just kind of got settled in where he was. And then we went into prayer. And they knew my routine, and so we pray about general family things and thank the Lord for his goodness to us and blessing us and what have you.
And then I'd get to the part where I'm gonna pray for them. And I'd lay hands on Leisha, and she was sitting right there and put hands on her and started praying for her. And Aaron was across the room, and it dawned on him at a certain point: oh, I'm supposed to be over there. Because dad doesn't just pray for me. He likes to put his hands on me.
And he got used to that blessing, and he was across the room. He had a little problem. And so I started squinting my eyes, kind of praying and looking just to see what he was going to do. And he was over there. And when he heard me wrapping up my prayer for Alicia, then I saw him scooting on over.
Got his head right there where I can get to it. It was clear he was saying, Don't just pray for me, put your hand on me, brother. You blessed her, bless me too. I'm a three-year-old, but I got problems and situations I'm going through. Yeah, then.
And I laid my hands on him and prayed God's blessings on his life. Dad, that's part of your job. We all know what I'm praying mama and grandmama's like, but I tell you, there's nothing like a dad. who calls the names of his children, grandchildren, to the Lord. And stand in the gap with them.
Let them know you're concerned. We taught our children when you're going through anything, let us know so we can pray for you. We taught our children when you're having your tests in school. Their job, I taught them growing up, we taught them, your job is to do well in school. That's your job.
Everybody has a job. You don't grow up and get a job. Y'all have a job now. We taught them your job is to do well in school. You might not be excellent in every area, but do your best in every area and believe God for excellence.
And we taught them that. We taught our children to be good students. You gotta tell them they're good students. Don't let them decide what kind they are. You know they'll come up with the wrong answer on their own.
We told them that's your job to be a good student. You're there to learn. And so we taught them in that course how to develop the right study habits. And then, if you're having a big exam, you're a little concerned about it, let us know so we can pray for you. And they habitually would come in, and they did it all the way through every season, all the way through high school.
I got a big exam now. Have you studied? Yes. 'Cause if you haven't studied, we don't have anything to pray about except mercy. Pistol.
That's a mercy prayer you haven't studied. That's oh, God, bail me out, Lord. You studied? Yes. Then we pray, Lord, give them recall.
Bless their minds, sharpen their minds, give them a recall of the things that they have earnestly dedicated themselves to study. And they'd come back with the praise report. I did well. Thank God. We praise the Lord.
for it. See a dad, you gotta be a priest in your home. You gotta make sure. that the things going on in your home are pleasing to the Lord. and that you've got to lift the needs of your children.
before him. In prayer. Thanks for being with us for today's Destined for Victory message, Fatherhood by the Book. To find out more about Destined for Victory's mission and purpose, or about the special gift reserved for you when you give generously today, please come see us at pastorpaul.net. Again, that's pastorpaul.net.
Now, do you know the difference between a priest and a prophet? Did you know that God calls fathers to be both? Here's Pastor Paul Shepard with a preview of tomorrow's message. A prophet speaks the will and the word of God into the lives of others. And I want to challenge you, fathers, and all parents to be prophetic.
In these days, like never before, you need to be prophetic as you speak into the lives of your children. That is, you need to say to them and about them what God says to and about them. And that is tomorrow in our message, Fatherhood by the Book. Until then, remember, he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.
