Look in your Bible. You will not find endorsement for trying people on sexually to determine whether or not you want to be with them for a lifetime. It's not in your Bible. Don't confuse what God permits with what God prefers. Hello, and welcome to another great day here on Destined for Victory, where we feature the preaching ministry of Pastor Paul Shepard.
You know, God has given all of us a free will. We're free to choose how to live, but we're not free from the consequences of those choices. Much better to choose the pain of self-discipline than the pain of regret. Today we'll be exploring what the Bible says about marriage and about human sexuality. Along the way, we'll see the difference between God's permissive will and God's perfect will.
Online, you'll find us at pastorpaul.net, where you can listen to any recent message on demand, including today's. That's pastorpaul.net. Subscribe to our podcast at Spotify or wherever you enjoy your podcasts.
Now, here's Pastor Paul's Destined for Victory message: living as children of light. Singles. While I'm on this If you're looking for a suitable person to marry. All these people that I'm looking for my person, you hear that all over the place. I'm looking for my person.
Who who exactly is that? My person. What they're trying to believe is that, you know, you've heard me, many of you have heard me teach on it. It's been a while. I'll probably need to bring back one of those series where I talk about there are different ways that people believe they can get together in marriage and be in the will of God.
Some people believe the Cinderella theory, you know, that there's one person on the planet who God has preordained for you to marry, and all you got to do is find that. Just like the prince had to find that one sister with the foot that fit perfectly in the glass slipper. And he went around the kingdom, trying on a mini afoot, trying to get it all right. And he finally found her. And some of y'all just want to believe there's one person somewhere.
And you looking for your person. There are others of us, when we read the scriptures, personally, you've heard me say, I don't believe the Cinderella theory. If you do, that's fine. I believe that any good size eight will do theory. Any good size eight will do.
If it's, you know, marry whom you will, save in the Lord. Make sure you have your values lined up. Make sure you have what you're looking for, what they're looking for. There are ways you can make a sound decision. I've told you before, bears repeating now, most people in the world today marry through arranged marriages, not Cinderella.
When you look at the worldwide population, more than 50% of them marry through arranged marriages. Y'all in the Western Hemisphere, y'all think romance is everything. You expect him to look across a crowded room. And see a person. that when your eyes fall upon them.
You realize that this is the person I was meant to be with. You don't even know their name. And it was as though we were the only people in the room. That's nice, that's cute. How many folk you know who thought that And years later, They were making each other perfectly miserable.
If you don't know him, come see me. I give you a list so long it'll stagger you. These people thought they had met the one. They heard sirens, and oh man, lights were blaring, and then just, oh, God was just everywhere.
So I want to tell singles Whether you're looking for your person, whether you're looking for your Cinderella theory, or you're looking for any good size it'll do. In both cases, God's will is for you to avoid trying them on sexually as part of your evaluation process before you marry. Pastor, what what's with you today? I'm preaching the word. That's all.
I'm a preacher of the word, not a preacher of what you like. We got a society now. Folk try one another on like they in the dressing room at Macy's.
Okay, let's take you in here. And they trying one another on. And come out just like the dress that didn't quite fit, the suit that wasn't quite right. And they come up and say, Mm, I'm not marrying them. They don't know what they doing.
Look in your Bible. You will not find endorsement for trying people on sexually to determine whether or not you want to be with them for a lifetime. It's not in your Bible. The Bible teaches y'all to make the decision that you're going to get married, whether it's arranged marriage in your countries where your parents make your decision, the elders of your tribe make it, or whoever it is. You know, I got folk all around the world.
Once they say, here's yours, and you say, okay, I will marry them. That's yours. They don't know what they're doing. Teach them. Teach 'em!
After you get married, teach 'em. I do first.
Now come on, let's do. Do you get it? You don't get to try them on. I know it's casual in today's world. All your friends look at you like you're crazy because you won't try them on.
I'm not crazy, I'm getting ready for the judgment. This lifetime is seventy, eighty, ninety years, whatever I get. But where I'm going is eternity. I'd rather look strange to y'all for 70, 80, 90 years and spend eternity in bliss with the Lord. Than to have my way here And then I run into him.
And I got a problem. You don't get to try 'em on. Teach them, instruct them. See, before I got saved, I was like, you know, I'm a freak. I told y'all it was an already message.
What are you looking at me for? I told you that's why I started like this.
Okay, so you know, because of your prior experience or whatever you've just been fantasizing about, I want to be totally free.
Well, the Bible says once you marry, the bed is undefiled. You can be as free as you want as long as it's with a consenting spouse.
So you wasn't, but I want to make sure that, you know, I want to know what their freak number is.
Well You can discuss that. But you can't actually find out personally. And if I'm the one that does the premarital, I take y'all there. I take you all there. My premarital, I need to know.
So do we have any frigidity here? I don't call it that, I say it other thing, but that's for y'all's sake.
So, are we frigid? Is anybody a little you know, and sometimes it comes from people's backgrounds. I want to make fun.
Sometimes people have issues. They've been to some places and had some things happen to them, and they're not as free as somebody else wants them to be. And you can't force them into your freedom. Oh, I'm preaching and you don't know it. You can't force them into your freedom.
Just because you're free, you got to find out where they are. And so once you find all that out And come if I'm the one who's doing that, I'll make sure y'all know what to expect. And I'll never forget, years ago, I have one brother, he was married to a young woman in our church, and she was a virgin. She had never had sex, and she was really, really looking forward. And they were engaged, and they came and talked.
And he said, Pastor, he called me aside. He said, Pastor, I'm a little scared. I said, why? He said, because she seemed too excited for me. Where's the mm?
I'm telling y'all the truth. He said, I don't know. I don't know if I can hang. This is going to. I said, yeah, but you're not having a second thought.
No, no, no. I'm just scared. I said, all right, well, I'm going to pray for you. Pray for you, Abbot. Be there for you.
And I sent him on out today with his scared self. But I need you to know, no trying on as children of light. Still ahead, the second half of today's Destined for Victory message, featuring the teaching ministry of Pastor Paul Shepard. You know, from the day of the Church of Jesus Christ until now, the Great Commission has always had to be funded to be fulfilled. Words cannot express our gratitude for the prayers and donations of friends and partners like you, because you're reaching people all over the world with the love of Jesus Christ.
Let's keep that momentum going and let's do it together. To make a safe and secure donation online, go to pastorpaul.net or call 855-339-5500. There's a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone, but it might not be the difference you think.
Now, let's enjoy the rest of today's Destined for Victory message: Living as Children of Light. You can talk, you can just make sure you have the same philosophical ideas about various areas. And you know, you know me, you who have been with me for a while, know I don't really like premarriage counseling. I like pre-engagement counseling. That's what I do.
When y'all are thinking about it, but the question hasn't been popped yet. Or maybe it's been popped out of excitement. Don't answer it yet. But it was so romantic when he asked me, Just tell him I love you and I think I want to marry you too, but you and I need to go talk to Pastor. You know why?
Because I love y'all, but I'm in love with neither one of y'all. Which means I don't care. Where do chips fly? I'm going to tell you hard things and get you to deal with those things. And then, once you deal with those, because see, I've broken up people just trying to help them sort through things.
There's a brother, I won't say anything about it. He doesn't live here in California anymore. He loves me to death. Anywhere he sees me, I'm preaching somewhere in the world. He sees me, he just hugs me.
He just, because I kept him from marrying somebody he was sure he wanted to marry, and he eventually found out he would have made the worst mistake of his life. And by some of the things I brought up in counseling, it made him second guess, and they didn't get married. And when he sees me, he just blessed me, gave me an offering, and everything just, oh, God bless you. Because I kept him from messing his life all the way up. And so you think you might want to go down the aisle with this person, but let somebody talk you through what are your compatibilities and incompatibilities.
What are your values? Do you see yourself living outside of the country? Do you see what all there are all kinds of things I will walk you through? And you need to think about them. Cause love isn't all they is.
But we in love, so Yes, that's nice. But that kind of love, that is infatuation. That's feelings oriented. That is not the real deal. Love is sacrificial.
Love means I am willing to lay down my life. to make yours better. And so there are some things you got to work through.
So the Bible says that we have got to live as children of light, which means forsaking sexual sin. which includes outside of marriage, and includes pre-marriage. as I just described to the singles.
some of whom are unhappy with me. Because you can't do these hookups. See, I'm a baby boomer. The first time I said to a couple, okay, so when did y'all hook up? They said, oh no, Pastor, we haven't had sex.
I said, wait, what? It was a few years ago. That's the first time I knew that when y'all's generation talks about hookup. We grew up and said, let's hook up. That means let's go to the restaurant.
Or get together together, let's sit down and talk. Hook up. For y'all. Is hook up. Boop.
Old people, y'all leave me by myself. Don't act like y'all knew it, and I was the only one that didn't. Don't y'all remember back when we just said, hey, let's hook up. We meant, let's get together, let's go to Starbucks. When these young folks say hook up, they not talking about no Starbucks.
So We need to make sure we understand that God has a plan for our sexuality. And he doesn't want us getting involved in it, I don't care how common it is. That's what's happening now. But it's so everybody does. No, they don't.
Some of us still believe this. Y'all just being judgmental. I'm not judging you. And I'm the first to tell you, I've been in sin after getting saved, after being a preacher. I'm not telling you what I think, I'm telling you what is the truth.
I had to get right, you got to get right. All God's children got to get right.
Okay, four messages are going to be bought. I just saw one person in the spirit just say, okay, he's right. I just saw you in the spirit. Yeah, he's right. He's telling the truth.
Which means you know you got to do some serious work.
Now that means You gotta go make a phone call. Or when you get a booty call tonight. You get a booty text. I told y'all this was not.
Okay. P or P G? G or PG? I told y'all that, whatever it is. I told y'all.
That's why I tried to get the kids in in the playroom somewhere. We gotta make this plane. We gotta understand this.
So that we can do the will of God. You can't have somebody texting you later now and talk about what you're doing. I don't I don't know what you're doing. Thinking about you. Ray Charles can see where that's going.
He's gone, but when he was here, he could have sold what that was. You can't be doing that radio blend always and forever. Oh, I'm sorry, that's my day. That's my day. Y'all y'all got your own Booty Call Songs.
Yeah. You got to get it. Right. You gotta tell him no. We can't do that.
Well, in your vernacular, no, we can't hook up. See, I'm learning. We can't hook up. In fact, we're not hooking up again. prior to marriage and I'm not sure I want to marry you.
Say that to them and see what their response is. If he claimed to love you, These people think they doing something big. when they practice the 90-day rule. Have you ever heard of such a thing? The 90-day rule.
Buy, act like a lady, think like a man. It's in the book. 90-day rule. If he really loves you, he will wait 90 days before we get into sin. We might as well call it what it is.
That's right. That's right. And they feeling like they are, he was so noble, he waited till day 91. Folks, There is a way that seems right. to a man.
But the end thereof are the ways of death. And sexual sin are among those things. The ways of death. Feels right. Looks Right to the carnal mind.
But in the eyes of God It's not his plan.
So Well, Pastor, I'm I'm what do I do? Repent. When we've been wrong, we can't. Change the past. All we can do is repent today.
I was so wrong I was tripping I was out of God's will. And then now Lord, give me the grace. To walk in light. It's not necessarily going to be easy. If you've been walking in darkness for a long time, got whole darkness situations going on in your life.
Situation ships. Oh, you should hear the stuff that I hear as a counselor now. And I'm in a situationship. And, you know, I'm good. I'm a good counselor.
I say, oh, okay, so let's talk about that. I don't break my look at all. Inside I'm saying, oh what? Y'all heard in the past couple of years entanglements? But guess what?
Living on earth, you can get entangled with all kind of stuff.
So they don't need to pass in judgment on her. Without looking at yourself. In fact, I don't pass judgment on her or anybody else. I pray for them. Pray for them.
If I knew them, I'd love them. I'd have an active, ongoing relationship with them. You can't love people just because they do everything right. Are you kidding? Do you know how absolutely lonely you're going to be in this world?
If you wait till everybody gets there, act together in every possible way.
Some folks, you're going to have to love them while they're wrong. You gotta love them while they're wrong and not interested in getting right. See, you young folk don't know about us old people. We heard songs like, if. If this is wrong, I don't wanna Do right.
All on the radio, just blaring, just. Yeah. But guess what? Some of us been there. Oh that Uh And if you've been there, then you ought to.
Love the folks who are there now. Love them enough to tell them the truth, but love them enough to keep loving them. Even when they don't heed what you say. Uh Thanks for being here with us for today's message: Living as Children of Light. Before we leave you today, here's a special word from Meredith Shepherd.
Hello, Destined for Victory family. This is Meredith Shepherd, Pastor Paul's wife. This is the first time you're hearing from me since my beloved husband went home to be with the Lord, and I want you to know your prayers have carried me. Your letters, your messages, cards, books, the ways you've reached out during these months, they've strengthened me through the shock and the grief in ways I can't fully express. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
You know, Paul often said that he wanted to be the black J. Vernon McGee. He'd say it with that grin of his, but behind the humor was something deeply serious. A vision to create a teaching library that would outlive him, that would keep speaking biblical truth long after he was gone. And that's what he did.
For decades, Paul poured himself into buildings destined for victory. not just as a radio programme, but as a legacy. He wanted to make sure that timeless truth would be available to help people live victorious lives no matter what generation they're in. That's why I'm talking to you today, because what Paul worked so hard to build needs your help to continue. Recently, we experienced a change in one of our major funding sources, and for the first time in this ministry's history, we're at risk of losing radio stations, of having to pull back from communities where people depend on this teaching.
I don't want my husband's voice silenced. I don't want the work he dedicated his life to building to disappear because of funding. We need to preserve what Pastor Paul poured himself into creating.
So I'm coming to you, this family that's already been so supportive, and I'm asking. Will you help us? if destined for victory has encouraged you? challenged you, or helped you grow in your walk with God, would you consider giving to day? A monthly gift would especially help us stabilize our funding and keep Paul's teaching on the air in every community that needs it.
You can give at pastorpaul.net. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for standing with us. And thank you for your generosity in helping to preserve this legacy. God bless you.
Thank you, Meredith, and we do want to say a special thank you to those who've already responded to this need. And to those who haven't, we want to make sure you know how much you are needed right now. When you make your generous gift today, we'll gladly send you a brand new booklet that will help you persevere through life's challenges or maybe through a past you can't quite forget. It's called Keep Moving Forward, and it seems rather appropriate at this moment. Drawing from Israel's transition from Moses to Joshua, this book will help you understand that God will go before you as your leader and your protector, even when you're facing new challenges.
Again, that's Keep Moving Forward, our gift to you for your generous donation to Destin for Victory today. You can give by phone by calling 855-339-5500. That's eight five five three three nine fifty five hundred. Or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California, 94538.
You can have the money, but you can't let the money have you.
So, don't climb the ladder of success only to find out it's leaned against the wrong building. Your priorities have to be to do the will of God. That's next time when we continue our message living as children of light. Until then though remember. He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion.
In Christ, you are destined for victory.
